The Summer of Love of Linda Piontak Part Eight Coffee for Two!  by Andrea Lena DiMaggio For My Dear Sweet Alison Mary Tell me, tell me how you knew about my heart You see, see the things that no one else could see I thought, I was doing fine until you turn my life around With everything you'd find Deep inside I thought that I had died

“I bet you think I’m being silly.” Annette said. Linda shook her head no.

She held her father’s picture again, and his presence seemed to fade; the photo looked more like an old picture than it ever had even as her father seemed to retreat once again into the past. She knew then that while she’d always have the love of her father, every bit of acceptance and affirmation sat beside her, and she’d never want for either of those again.

Starbucks near Lincoln Center, several days later...

Linda arrived fifteen minutes before ten, wanting to get a seat that would allow her to scope out the competition, despite the fact that there was no longer any competition. In fact, the girl she was about to meet was her new...sister-in-law. She sat back and sipped her cranberry juice as she waited for the new Mrs. Menedez.

A tall girl walked into the shop. She looked very determined, very pretty and very tall. Linda stood and went to greet the girl, who just walked by and waved to some friends in the back of the shop. Linda shook her head and sat down, laughing softly to herself. She looked over at the clock on the wall behind the counter but turned as she heard,

“Hi…Linda?” The girl smiled and sat down. She was only a bit taller than Linda, and apart from her blond hair, was fairly non-descript.

“Hi, I guess you know…I’m Astrid…” Linda waited for the “Menendez,” but the girl just continued.

“I’m going to get a coffee, you want?” Linda nodded.

"Dark, no sugar?"

Astrid got up and walked over to the counter as Linda sat dumbfounded. She had thought that the girl would have been the one she had seen the day Tony had told her about the tour. The girl returned a moment later and sat down once again. She looked away, as if she were trying to gain some courage.

“First off…I want to apologize before we go any further. You never deserved the way you were treated and I am so sorry.”

“Typical,” Linda thought. Tony was letting someone else fix his problem.

“Well, it’s alright now.”

Linda lied. It wasn’t alright. She was in a wonderful relationship with Annette, but the fallout from the hurt over Tony’s behavior still hung like a cloud over her head, even if it was slowly but surely dissipating in the breeze.

“No…it’s not. You didn’t deserve the way you were treated after all you had been through together. I…I’m so sorry.”

The girl’s eyes were filled with tears, which threw Linda off. She had set out that morning wanting to be angry, but the girl was making it very hard.

“Listen…why did you want to meet me? You didn’t have to talk with me at all; it’s really Tony’s responsibility…and where is he anyway?” Astrid looked out the window once again before answering.

“I wanted to tell you how it all happened…try to put some sense to it…context. And Tony’s not the only guilty party here. We both knew when we got married that you two had plans… we just didn’t count on falling in love.” It was like a line out of a Diane Lane movie, and Linda was disappointed that she was the victim of the whole charade. Linda wasn’t a victim at all; in fact, there were never any victims, which she was going to find out.

“I guess you had to say something since Tony’s in Europe?”

“Tony is here…the tour was canceled at the last minute. We live in Queens.” Astrid’s tone was more relaxed, but she still was misty-eyed.

“Whaaa…what?” It was Linda’s turn to look out the window. Astrid reached over and touched Linda’s wrist softly. Any resolve that Linda had in remaining angry went out the window as she took note of the girl’s tears once again.

“We got married two weeks ago. You have to know neither one of us wanted to see you hurt in any way, but we were so self-centered…so into us that we lost all perspective.” Her words weren’t so much an excuse as a confession.

“I’ve been after him to call you…just to talk to you, but it’s just too hard.” Linda couldn’t understand that other than reluctance, why anything would keep her best friend from at least acknowledging what had taken place…no, what he had chosen.

“I don’t understand. You said you live in Queens…why hasn’t Tony tried to contact me.?”

“You have to understand that he’s simply so sorry; so ashamed of what he did…like he can’t face you.”

“So you’re apologizing for him?” Linda bit her lip, feeling disappointed once again that Tony didn’t have the decency to talk to her face to face.

“I’m only speaking for myself. It’s really up to Tony to talk to you. I’m only sorry that he can’t.”

“How can he not talk to me?” Linda thought.

“You look familiar…you in the ensemble? Didn’t I see you in the cafeteria at school?” Linda looked askance at the girl who shook her head.

“Oh, no…I don’t play an instrument. I sing…occasionally. And I’m not a student. I studied voice until I ended up with polyps and an esophageal ulcer. I graduated from CCNY a few years ago with a BSN.” She smiled, looking much more relaxed and at ease.

“You’re a nurse?”

“Yeah… Brookdale, right around the corner from your neighborhood. You really don’t know who I am?”

“No…but you look so familiar.” Linda smiled and tilted her head in thought.

“We share a commonality besides Tony, Linda. We’re so much more alike than either of us would have known.” She nodded and smiled as if to say, “hmmm???” Linda still looked almost clueless.

“I go to a support group at St. Jerome’s Episcopal, but I went to the support group at Julliard until February since I knew folks there from before I left for CCNY. That’s where we met.” She smiled again and a look of recognition crossed her face. Linda only attended one support group; a group for transgendered women. Astrid nodded.

“My last name is Nilsson. My birth name was Anders….it could have been Lars or Ulfie…hell, what else would you name your Swedish-Danish son?” She laughed softly and patted her wrist once again.

“So we have a lot more than family in common. I hope that we can at least get along for Laura’s sake.”

Linda winced at the mention of her step-mother’s name. How could she even think about being family with this woman when she was hurting from the slight. She sighed out of frustration before asking,

“I don’t understand? If you’re not a part of the ensemble, how do you even know Tony?”

She asked the question as if Astrid had crashed a private party. Astrid frowned and tears came to her eyes once again.

“You know how Laura’s family has a history of heart problems and such?” Linda nodded, wondering where Astrid was going, but she could tell by the look on her face that it wasn’t any place safe.

“I work at the Stroke Center at Brookdale…Linda….Tony had a stroke right before the tour was to have left; he’s been rehabbing since the beginning of summer. Linda…oh God, I’m so sorry…” Astrid had nothing to apologize for at this point, but she felt guilty nonetheless at not having spoken to Linda sooner.

“He’s recovering better than anyone could hope for…only a bit of a problem with some words, but he’s gotten so much better that the doctor is confident that he’ll be back to normal, speaking wise by next spring.”

"He's changed so much...you wouldn't know it from the outside....maybe...but something broke inside of him...he's so kind and caring. There's something that left...whatever you want to call it...selfishness...ego? I don't know, but he's like reborn...and maybe me too?"

Her voice trailed off as she looked out the window, which seemed to be more of a safe distraction than a source of strength for either woman. When she turned again she was struggling to not to cry, and failing miserably. Linda looked in her eyes and knew immediately what she was trying to say.

“No…Oh God no….oh noooo.” Linda grabbed both of Astrid’s hands with her own. She leaned across the small table and placed her forehead against Astrid’s.

“Tell me…tell me he’s going to be okay…tell me….” She sobbed as Astrid shook her head no.

The two women drew the attention of an older couple sitting at the table next to the window. The wife looked at her husband and rolled her eyes and shook her head. Her husband just dismissed the two with a wave.

“He…eee’s going….going to be able to use his left hand…eventually.” Astrid said haltingly after swallowing hard.

“Buuhhhht….”

She shook her head again before placing it on her arms on the table, and Linda began to weep softly, partly out of compassion for the woman before her, for the love that once was and the true deep abiding love that remained for Tony, but so much more for the shame of feeling so selfish and small; she knew from the look on Astrid’s face that Tony would never play concert piano again.

Linda's apartment that afternoon...

(You make me believe) When I thought that love was gone, all gone
(You make me believe) And you prove that love was strong, so strong
(You make me believe) 'Cause you touch inside of me
Something I would never have believed
Until
Until you conquered me

Annette heard the muted sounds of Beethoven's 7th, the moving passionate and sad second movement...Annette knew something wasn't right...something sad and sorrowful filled the apartment along with the music.

“Hi…kiddo? Linda?” Annette called at the doorway. Even with their relationship, Annette honored Linda’s space. Poking her head in, she spotted Linda sitting on the couch, rocking slowly as she sang softly to herself.

“Honey? Are you okay? How did your meeting with Astrid go?” Not too good, she thought, by the looks of it. Linda looked up and smiled.

“Oh…hi…o…okkkkay.” Linda began to sob softly.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” She hesitated asking any more questions, and sat quietly while rubbing Linda’s left arm.

"They've been married....two weeks....hardly knew each other....they met...." Linda paused and shuddered.

“Tony had a stroke…..he had….he can’t….ever.” If anyone would know how Tony felt, it would be Annette. She pulled Linda close and kissed her cheek.

“Oh, God no, honey….no…” Annette said softly. Linda began to sob harder and Annette just softly repeated,

“Shhhhhh….shhhh,” while stroking Linda’s hair.

“I’ve been so wrong….I’m so….He was my best friend…and I’ve been so angry since he left.” Annette knew that the anger wasn’t out of jealousy…well perhaps some. Even she knew how tangled folks can stay even after they move on and find new love.

“I know honey…it’s okay….it’s going to be alright.”

You say, you can our future
In my eyes
You say, you can break the chain that always ties me there
Teach me how to fly again
You make my life complete
The love you give to me
Deep inside I know that this is right

If any other human being had uttered those words, they would have rung hollow, but from her lover, they rang loud and crystal clear. It still hurt, more than any other pain that Linda had ever experienced, and it was a good pain, since it was focused outward in disappointment and sadness rather than her tears and sadness of the past.

“You must hate me…I don’t deserve you.”

Annette had heard those words out of her own mouth enough to finally have realized how untrue they were. She pushed Linda away slightly and looked in her eyes.

“That’s a lie from hell, Linda…stop it. You and I are one…we were meant for each other. If I deserve to have your love…then you deserve mine…always.” She pulled Linda into her and kissed her, tenderly…softly, as if she were treasuring her as a delicate flower, easily bruised and broken.

Linda returned her kiss with her own. She looked at Annette and saw only acceptance; an acceptance that she only recently began to appreciate. And then she looked away slightly to her right. Annette was wearing a light blue silk sleeveless top, which was very pretty, but also revealed Annette’s shortened shoulder stump. The limb, such as it was, still bore the scars of both injury and healing. Linda leaned closer and began to kiss Annette’s shoulder, softly kissing each scar one by one, as if it were a sacred task. Annette shuddered as nerves were provoked by feelings long thought dead. It almost felt ticklish…that feeling you might have if you’ve ever cut yourself deeply and the touch of the fabric of a trouser leg or sleeve scraped over the long healed scar.

“SSS…sttooooppp.” Linda looked up and Annette had begun to sob. Not out of sadness, but out of sheer exhiliration from being accepted and even adored despite her disfigurement. She had seen only a lack, but Linda saw beauty….

“I love you so much.” Their words came almost simultaneously, a duet composed and scored with pain and sadness, but more so…ever so much more written by the joy and love they had for each other.

I was lost
I thought I would always be alone
I thought I could make it on my own
But you...
Changed my life
Now...
Everything I thought my life could be
Changed the day you conquered me

Next: Here come the Brides?

Conquered
words and music by
Eliot Kennedy, Gary Barlow, and Rick Allison
as performed by Lara Fabian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSUJPrPt8G

Symphony No. 7 in A major, Op. 92
Movement No. 2
by Ludwig van Beethoven
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uOxOgm5jQ4