The Summer of Love of Linda Piontak Part 9

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The Summer of Love
of Linda Piontak

Part Nine
Finale!

 by Andrea Lena DiMaggio

For Portia

Reprise - Conquered
Tell me, tell me how you knew about my heart
You see, see the things that no one else could see
I thought, I was doing fine until you turn my life around
With everything you'd find
Deep inside I thought that I had died

 


Previously...

Linda returned her kiss with her own. She looked at Annette and saw only acceptance; an acceptance that she only recently began to appreciate. And then she looked away slightly to her right. Annette was wearing a light blue silk sleeveless top, which was very pretty, but also revealed Annette’s shortened shoulder stump. The limb, such as it was, still bore the scars of both injury and healing. Linda leaned closer and began to kiss Annette’s shoulder, softly kissing each scar one by one, as if it were a sacred task. Annette shuddered as nerves were provoked by feelings long thought dead. It almost felt ticklish…that feeling you might have if you’ve ever cut yourself deeply and the touch of the fabric of a trouser leg or sleeve scraped over the long healed scar.

“SSS…sttooooppp.” Linda looked up and Annette had begun to sob. Not out of sadness, but out of sheer exhiliration from being accepted and even adored despite her disfigurement. She had seen only a lack, but Linda saw beauty….

“I love you so much.” Their words came almost simultaneously, a duet composed and scored with pain and sadness, but more so…ever so much more written by the joy and love they had for each other.


The doorbell rang twice. Astrid went to get up to answer it, but Tony shook his head.

"No...No..." He struggled to speak; the words were no longer slurred, but it took him a bit longer to say them.

"Honey...she loves you...she never stopped loving you." Astrid walked to the door and opened it, hugging Linda and Annette.

"I'm glad you came...." She took a breath and then turned to find Tony had walked out of the lving room and was sitting at the kitchen table. It was almost as if he were a kid trying to play hide and seek.

"Tony, come on...this is important. For all of us." Astrid looked at Linda as if to say, "What should I do?" This was all new to her, being an only child who had been rejected long before her transition; her parents were indifferent and would have ignored and neglected her even if she hadn't changed.

"I think I can help..." Annette's voice trailed off as she walked quickly into the kitchen. He really had panicked; Tony was sitting at the table sobbing with his face buried in his arms resting on the table.

"Hey...it's okay." Annette's unfamiliar voice surprised Tony. He looked up to see Annette looking at him sympathetically, and she put her hand on his shoulder.

"Whatever it is, we're all here for each other. Like it or not, no matter what you think should have happened, it didn't. And no matter how disappointing things turned out; no matter how angry you are at yourself? We're family, and we're not going anywhere." Annette patted him on the back before continuing.

"I'm going to see if there's any tea, and maybe we can sit down here and talk, alright?" She nearly whispered it as she patted him on the back once again. He looked up and noticed her face was kind and accepting; something he felt he didn't deserve. And then he noticed that her left sleeve was pinned at the shoulder.

"Tea is in the cabinet right over the stove. There's an electric kettle on the counter." Astrid pointed as she stood back. Annette seemed to be taking charge, but not taking over, it that makes sense. For someone she had just met, Astrid was amazed at how comfortable she felt around Annette. A few moments later, the quartet sat at the table, almost enjoying an uneasy truce in a war that should never have been declared.

"Linda? I wanted to apologize to you while you're here and apologize to my husband" Astrid looked at Tony and tears began to fall.

"I wanted so much to fix things...that's what I do...I'm a nurse...I can't stand to see people hurt. But I was wrong in speaking for Tony. It wasn't my place for either of your sakes to say anything other than my own regrets. And I'm so sorry for my part."

"I've been thinking about that day ever since we talked. I'm not angry with you, but I was upset; I should have stopped you right then and there, so it's partly my fault for not speaking up. But you're right; Tony needs to speak for himself." As she said the last few words, she turned and faced Tony as if requesting his reply.

"I pushed you away...over and over....I kept telling myself it was all your fault, but it wasn't. I was so wrapped up in what I thought you wanted that I didn't ask you. I was so afraid you'd leave me that I pushed you away. But you didn't have to leave, either. You never took the time to tell me what you wanted or needed. I spent weeks waiting for you to change, when I needed to change; and I have. I'm not the girl you remember, just as you're not the boy I fell in love with.

"LLinnnnnda....I'mmmmm soooo....soooorreeee." It was painful to watch him struggle with just a few words. He took a breath, strengthend by Astrid gripping his left hand.

"Yooo....deeseerrrrveeed...beeehhhhterrrrr." She was tempted to forgive him right then and there, but like a caterpillar, he needed the resistence of his struggle to continue his change. Anything less than allowing him to speak, as much as a struggle as it was, would be a disservice to all of them.

"Pleeeeese....foor..gieeeve...meee." Astrid turned her head and began to weep. Yes it was painful, but the smile than began to grow on Tony's face was indication that he was glad that he had to be there, as difficult as it was.

"Tony, as God is my witness, I forgive you." It wasn't an emotional act; it couldn't be for it to be real; she was still hurt over the years of friendship he had cast away so carelessly. She was still disappointed in her own lack of self-esteem that led to her fears. Both needed to have the other accept them; they were joined forever by their parent's marriage and now, even if things weren't as they felt they should have been, they still could be something wonderful.

"Please forgive me," the voice came from beside Linda. Annette put her hand on Tony's and Astrid's.

"I was so angry that you had hurt Linda; I was so protective; even before we knew we loved each other." Tony looked at her without any understanding other than that it was more than a gesture. Annette truly wanted forgiveness and reconciliation. Astrid grabbed Annette's hand and squeezed, her tears welling up in her eyes once more.

"I am so sorry for hurting you." The words were still slow, but came incredibly from Tony's mouth.

"You were my bbbest frieeennnnd." He put his head down and wept, not out of shame, though he felt ashamed. He mourned the loss of something special that he would never have again; a trust that was violated beyond complete repair, and the realization that he caused the death of that trust and care overwhelmed him.

"I love you....I always will....nothing will change that...ever. But we're happy now...all of us, for what it's worth. And I am sorry for my part, too. We can sit here and apologize all night long, but it's time we let it go." Linda's voice was calm and measured; she seemed to exercise an authority like nothing anyone could remember, including her; it surprised her, but came as no surprise to Annette, who believed in her even before she believed in herself.

"I have a suggestion, if you're willing." Annette looked over at Linda, seeking permission for what she was about to say. Linda didn't know what it would be, but she trusted her future wife, and nodded in agreement.

"We have to....well, we want to, but in order for this to work, we have to get married before Linda has her surgery. With a tentative date of February 20th, we talked it over with Susan and Laura. If you would like, I...." She paused and looked at Linda, who smiled and nodded again, knowing where Annette was going with it.

"Maybe you'd like to attend at our wedding? I mean not just come to it, but be witnesses?"

Astrid looked at Annette. Here was the day of a lifetime for both Annette and Linda, and they were willing to overlook...no, that wasn't right. They were willing to set aside any hurt to bring peace to the family.

"You mean....stand up for you?"

"Yes...I think it would mean the world to Tony's and Linda's moms, and it would help put the past behind us."

"I'll have to think about it." Astrid shook her head. Each of them felt that the hurt of the breakup was healing; would their presence hinder or help Linda and Annette. For that matter, would it help her and Tony.

"I...I....dohhn't...deeeserrrve....it." Tony shook his head. And his words were filled with truth and conviction; he wasn't playing martyr. He truly felt that he didn't deserve to share in the celebration because he still felt guilty.

"No...you don't. But can't you see. This is where it all started, and it has to end here. You and I are going to feel badly, but you and I have so much now." She certainly wasn't minimizing Tony's stroke; the recovery would still be long and hard, and just like the death of their relationship, Tony needed to mourn the death of his gift. But just like the death, there was also a resurrection of sorts for both of them.

"Astrid loves you. And Annette loves me. We're happy...all of us, when it comes down to it. Yes, we have our struggles, but we're strong and we have those who love and care for us."

"I feel that I've been blessed beyond anything I could ever have imagined....and I'm not second best, do you understand?" Annette stared at Astrid, who looked away in embarrassment.

"I noticed that when no one was talking....every time....Tony looked at you, Astrid...and he wasn't looking for an answer or advice or pity or help. His eyes just loved the heck out of you!" Astrid turned to see her husband's steady gaze; Annette had seen something very special, even if it was birthed out of pain and disappointment, Tony's love was sincere and true...truer than anything he had ever held dear. Not baseball, not piano, not Linda. Astrid was loved by her husband.

(You make me believe) When I thought that love was gone, all gone
(You make me believe) And you prove that love was strong, so strong
(You make me believe) 'Cause you touch inside of me
Something I would never have believed
Until
Until you conquered me

"You seem to have forgotten something," Astrid laughed softly with a nervous laugh.

"She's got the same look for you that Tony has for me....she just loves you so much. When you talk she hangs on every word..." Annette nodded. She didn't need a reminder, being confident already that she had truly met the love of her life. But she turned to Linda and smiled, as much for her sake just to see those loving eyes again.

"Astrid?" Tony's voice was soft and clear. He smiled at her, the left side of his face cooperating with a decreasing reluctance, it seemed.

"I love you." He raised his left arm with difficulty to her face and touched her cheek. It was the first time he had been able to raise his arm that high since he started therapy.

"Been pppracticing."

He smiled and she threw her arms around him, kissing his cheek and sobbing. Their emotions weren't what brought them to the place of forgiveness. Their choice to forgive was simply an act of their wills that was closely followed by their feelings. Acting "as if" with the desire to see things change, they decided that their family was more important than any hurt, regardless of how understandable and even justifiable anger and resentment might have been. There was enough hurt to go around for everyone. But there was more love to go around for everyone.

Astrid looked into Tony's eye and saw something she hadn't seen before. It's been known to happen that a stroke victim will undergo personality and behavioral changes; often for the worse. But on that rare blessed occasion, a change comes over someone and they become more patient and understanding and giving and caring. Tony left more than his talent for baseball and piano in the emergency room. He left selfishness and entitlement and lack of care as somehow finally the things that mattered were embodied in the three people who sat at the table with him that night.


A few years later....

"Okay...class? Who would like to tell me who their favorite composer is?" The teacher looked out over the fifth grade music class and smiled. A girl in the second row raised her hand.

"Jessica?"

"I like Brahms...he's almost romantic...like his music alone tells a story."

"Cindy?"

"Prokofiev....Peter and the Wolf...a lot of fun!"

"Andrew?"

"Tchiakovsky! Very powerful..."

"Sean?"

"Please don't laugh? The guy who wrote the Peanuts music...you know?"

"Vince Guaraldi. You like jazz a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah...I like the way it feels?"

"Anybody else?"

"Debussey...Clare de Lune." The teacher turned to the doorway to see a familiar face; two in fact as the women came into the classroom and hugged him.

"Kids...I can't tell you how cool this is, but you're about to be blessed with one of the finest pianists I know." He smiled at the woman closest to him and laughed softly.

"My sister." He smiled at her again .

"Want to play? Anything you like!"

"Mr. Tony? Is that Linda Piontak? Your sister is Linda Piontak?" The girl looked down at the Mp3 player she wasn't supposed to have and held it up.

"I've got her Rachmaninoff sampler right here!"

Annette stood next to Linda and held up her own Mp3 player.

"Me, too."

"Maybe if we clap hard enough, maybe she'll play something for us?" He said and the children all began clapping.

"If you clap even harder, maybe she'll give us a concert during sixth bell in the auditorium," Annette said, poking Tony in the arm with her right elbow.

Linda smiled and nodded to the children. She walked over to the piano, but not before kissing Tony on the cheek.

"Mom and Laura are flying in this afternoon. Astrid says that she'll pick them up and we can meet back at our place for dinner, okay? And tell Little Tony I've got that Chopin CD he was looking for." She smiled and sat down at the piano.

Looking over at the children, she smiled one last time before looking ahead. Her eyelids fluttered a bit before they closed as she set her hands softly on the key board and began to play.

A few minutes later, the principal came into the classroom and stood with his arms on his hips.

"I know it's almost that time of the year, but you know how the schoolboard is." Tony looked over at her and shrugged his shoulders. He half-frowned until she smiled at him and said softly, almost as an aside.

"Oh what the hell!" She raised her hand and pointed two fingers at Linda as if to say,'engage!" And Linda started up with another rendition from her Christmas album, Oh Tannenbaum.

I was lost
I thought I would always be alone
I thought I could make it on my own
But you...
Changed my life
Now...
Everything I thought my life could be
Changed the day you conquered me

Fin


Conquered
words and music by
Eliot Kennedy, Gary Barlow, and Rick Allison
as performed by Lara Fabian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSUJPrPt8G

Oh Tannenbaum
(Oh Christmas Tree)
Traditional
Arranged and Performed
by Vince Guaraldi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw6h4mZO1oU

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Comments

A beautiful finish

ALISON

'to a wonderful story.Thank you,'Drea.

ALISON

Hi Gram...

OMG!!! You are tooooo good!!! This tale is incredibly delicious and sooo full of real emotions. It's difficult not to 'fall' into it and get involved. Brava!!!

Always Your...

Brat

The Summer of Love of Linda Piontak Part 9

No better way to end a story.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

acting as if

"Their emotions weren't what brought them to the place of forgiveness. Their choice to forgive was simply an act of their wills that was closely followed by their feelings. Acting "as if" with the desire to see things change, they decided that their family was more important than any hurt, regardless of how understandable and even justifiable anger and resentment might have been. There was enough hurt to go around for everyone. But there was more love to go around for everyone." fantastic ending to a fantastic story.

DogSig.png

I'm not sure what to say.

It's hard to know what to say about this. At first blush, I was thinking I was confused, but no, I understood everything. I think a better word would be "amazed". I am amazed that you found a happy ending for everyone, amazed that this is SO loving, even where I had believed the love was completely gone, and amazed that I became so deeply involved in this story. I will truly miss it.

Wren

Not the End For Sure

littlerocksilver's picture

Thank you, 'Drea for such a heartfelt tale. There were so many layers that had to be penetrated, so many veneers that had to be carefully peeled back. Linda was the teacher at the beginning. Tony was the potential performer. Linda felt the emotion of the music but doubted her ability to pull it off like Tony might be able to. Tony lost his physical ability, but gained the emotional understanding of what he was doing. Linda, who had so much doubt about her gender role and her ability as a pianist discovered the truth, the thing she tried to tell Tony from the very beginning. She had to believe in herself before she could be whole. Two broken people, Annette and Astrid, who had no idea at the start about what had gone on between Tony and Linda, could be a bit more objective. They were the magnetic forces who drew everything together.

One thing I felt from the beginning was that we, the readers, were too quick to condemn Tony, and not understanding enough about Linda's weaknesses. For many of us, that is an easy path to take. I think early on, many of us wanted the fairy tale ending: Tony and Linda going off in the sunset together, playing music and rearing their children. Once again, our prejudices obscured the importance of this tale. What we want can't always be attained, and what we want is not always the best or most desireable outcome.

'Drea, you pulled our emotional strings very effectively. We have much to learn from your insight. I think many of us who have been caught up in this tale should go back and read it through in one sitting. It's not that long. There are important lessons here for all of us. At least, there were for me.

La ringrazio molto, mia sorella bellissima.

Portia

Portia

That was beautiful, simply

That was beautiful, simply wonderful story of pain,hurt,forgivines,and love.

Simply lovely

A simple tale,lovingly told, but not a simple lesson. All of us need forgiveness, and need to forgive. A simple act of will, led by the heart.

Thank you 'Drea.

Janice

You Are More Compassionate Than Me

joannebarbarella's picture

Yes, I know people change, but I still find it hard to forgive Tony.

Yeah, St. Paul on the road to Damascus and all that, but could you forgive the Holocaust if Hitler had had that epiphany? Just because he became a better person does that wipe away the sins already committed?

OK. I know there's a difference in magnitude and all the characters in the story are forgiving types, but grumble, grumble, hmmph, hmmph.

Well, all right then,

Joanne

Que bellisimo!

Zoe Taylor's picture

Apologies in advance for my butchery of the language in the title!

'Drea, this morning I set out to read the entire saga from its inception, and you have moved me to tears more than a few times in the process.

There's an old saying among those who practice the old smithing trades. Precious metals whose ores are touched by the hottest fires make the purest ingots, and your entire cast are wonderful proof of that.

I'm humbled to see such emotionally moving work posted free for all to see. You have the soul of a poet, and a beautiful heart, my friend. Thank you.

Lovingly,
~Zoe

* * *

"Zoe, you are definitely the Queen of Sweetness with these Robin stories!"
~ Tychonaut

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Fogive and...

Ole Ulfson's picture

No, you really can't forget can you? Perhaps I'm not yet evolved enough.

Linda found her true love and a new life. It seems all she needed to free her inhibitions and talent was the love of her special woman. A wonderful ending for three special girls and Tony.

And I believe, not because you said it but just because I believe it, that Linda found out that she was a real woman and had been all along. You are what you believe you are and it doesn't get more real than that!

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!