Really Me 2

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Really Me
By Kerry Brown
The change coninues to a rapid ending

--SEPARATOR--

The cinema complex had several cafes nearby some of which we avoided like the plague while others served great food and good prices that two girls could easily afford on their wages. By the way I had no job except getting through university which was an agreement Dad made for each of us, Kelly had opted for a gap year before starting studies. We sat down in our favourite corner stall while Sam the waiter brought water and menus, normally he would just say hi and go back behind the counter to pour the drinks etc. This time he stood and stared at me.

"Can I help you Sam?" Kelly asked trying to get his attention.

"Sorry I was just admiring your friends beauty" he stumbled out before looking at Kelly.

"Thank you Sam, why haven't you ever said that about me?" Kelly playfully asked making him blush, "I know it's just her natural magnetism but surely customer service should be unbiased"

"Sorry Kelly but I did go to school with you for twelve years" Sam shuffled his notepad and tried to concentrate again. The redness still rising in his cheeks.

"Just a Tony special pizza and salad tonight and two diet cokes, and free compliments next time, Mate"

Sam left us to talk after bringing our drinks, but I could still feel his eyes burning into my back during the evening. Did others see me as a hot chick or was it just bad lighting?

"Kelly, how do I look and be honest, good or bad?" I asked hoping that she would be gentle on me and not take the chance to get some points back at my expense. She took ages before she spoke and then came the biggest shock of the entire day.

"If you are going to keep going out dressed like that then I am going to be broke keeping up with you, girl you are way too sexy for this town. Your makeup is fantastic and your smile seems to cut through people like a laser, you are hot, how did we ever miss this?"

"No seriously, tell me the truth am I ok?" I asked not believing her comments.

"Seriously you are H O T, hot. Sam, what do you think of my friend here?" Kelly asked as he put down the garlic bread and parmesan cheese.

"What do you mean, like would I go out with her or is she a one thousand ship beauty like Helen of Troy?" Being Greek he understood beauty in all of the historical ways.

"Both, but she is not available so skip that idea."

"Such a loss, but let me know if your boyfriend drops dead or turns gay" he said turning back to the counter and the safety of the kitchen.

The pizza and salad came along with new drinks compliments of Sam or should I say Sam's dad who owned the place. We talked carefully about how to break the news to mum and when would be good, if she would freak out or laugh before telling me to go back and change into my real clothes. The risk of ridicule was not high as our family had strong ideals of allowing free expression without putdown. All the same the pressure of upsetting mum would have to be managed rather than just let loose. She would be in bed by the time we got home so I could get away with another day before confronting the news.

"Bye Sammy" I purred fluttering my eye lashes and blowing little kisses.

"You are shameless, stop playing with the poor lad" Kelly said slapping my arm. What does she mean playing with him, I guess I have a lot to learn about being a girl.

The house was dark apart from the front door light and mum's bedroom, I parked the car and unlocked the front door praying that she would stay in bed and just say goodnight. I moved quickly through to my room as Kelly went in and chatted for a while claiming that I had a bad case of full bladder, it worked and a few minutes later we were both sat in my room talking again. Kelly wanted to see the clothes and everything I had bought but I begged off and said we could do it in the morning after mum goes to work and before Kelly goes in for her afternoon shift. As she got up to leave she handed me a silk nightgown doubting that I had bought one for myself, another thing she got wrong. I cleaned my face after taking a couple of photos on my phone for future reference and crawled into bed wearing the bra and knickers for a solid sleep.

I slept well into the morning giving mum plenty of time to leave the house, it was quiet as I pushed the kitchen door open wearing the nightgown with bra and knickers. Sitting at the table was mum, the looks between us made eternity seem like a very short timeframe. Mum looked at me my chest, my hair and my chest again.

"Okay, you can start and I will be silent hoping for a really good story" she said lifting her coffee cup for another drink, probably to stabilize her nerves and stop her reacting.
Short version with some improvements and some exclusions, like Sam and the compliments. I finished just as Kelly pushed into the room.

"So did you tell her you wanted to stay as a girl for the rest of your life?"

Mum choked and my mouth went very dry, that was one of the exclusions that I had made to minimize the shock. Well there goes another badly made plan. It took quite a few minutes for me to clear the air and get out the whole story including Sam, the little bits that Kelly added and some questions that had been hanging unspoken. As I looked at mum she was shell shocked or punch drunk, or just plain numb as nothing seemed to be working anymore. By this time Kelly and I had some food in front of us and drank our coffee while eating toast, she had on the matching nightgown to mine. Mum looked back and forth comparing us both, we ate the same way and now dressed the same way.

"How could I have missed it?" she said shaking her head, a common reaction for first timers.

There was no anger or tension, no screaming or shouting, something was badly wrong, I needed to be told the truth of why it was so easy. Mum got up and left the room without saying anymore than "I have to make call to work, don't move" and with that she was out of ear shot for about five minutes. Walking back in she sat down calmly and asked if I would like to get changed before we continued our talk, being a kitchen family it made sense to just stay as we were.

"Firstly I need to say that your father and I love you very much and nothing will change that. Secondly this is not a show stopper as they say, let me explain about my pregnancy before you were born when I got morning sickness every single day for five hours each day. The doctors could not find anything wrong so prescribed a drug called DES that had just hit the market, it was experimental but based on a natural remedy, it worked very well and after a few months the sickness stopped but the drug was removed from the shelves and replaced with a similar drug. The reality was that it caused some birth defects and every mother that took the drug was screened for the first five years after delivery."

"Are you saying that I have been drugged?" I asked wondering what else had been hidden from me.

"Not drugged, but some things may have been altered during development that’s why we went to the doctor every year while you were young. Nothing showed up and we put it aside hoping that it was just good luck for you. The fault was to do with the level of estrogen during the first trimester and it could limit male growth but you have always tested clear just a few small areas like hair and skin. I just called in a family emergency day at work and got an appointment at Doctor Susan's clinic for us at 12:30 today. Kelly you can come or go to work, whatever you want to do."

Kelly raced off to make the call to work while we sat and looked at our coffee not ready to talk yet. Even when Kelly came back and told us she would come with us it did not move us forward.

"What about showing us all of the clothes you just bought" Kelly asked getting back up to leave.

The next hour was me acting like a Barbie Doll for Kelly as mum sat still stunned and shaking her head, the skirts and dresses with blouses and shorts, several pairs of shoes and underwear all finishing in a little black dress with dark seamed stockings and 4" heels and I do mean stockings. Mum nearly had a fit as Kelly lifted the hem to reveal the stocking tops then came various comments about shotguns and father protecting his daughters. The sudden use of the word daughters made us all stop, that’s what it was now or would be shortly, I wanted to be the daughter of Mr & Mrs Brown and the sister of Kelly Brown. This was the real me, daughter and sister, shame about never being a mother.
We finished getting ready in plenty of time and as mum checked me out again, she smiled and said "I always knew that you were too soft to be a boy at heart."

Kelly and I had very similar dresses on, front opening with buttons from top to bottom but while Kelly could leave several undone I had to be more careful about flashing cleavage. One day I intend to have my own breasts I thought then wondered how long it would take and how big they would be, oh well I have only been a girl for two days. Two days and so much has happened in such a short time from dorky skinny male to hot curvaceous babe and attitude as well. I knew that the doctor would want answers when she saw me but to be honest I had very little idea apart from the gut feeling that this was really me and how I wanted to stay. Engineering is based around logic and rules but here I was doing the exact opposite, no logic and no boundaries, just the gut feeling and determination. It was as if a switch had been thrown in my head, all of the old pathways that had male characteristics were suddenly closed down and a totally new set that had previously never been seen or heard from were open for business. There was no transition period or modification process, it was just "all change" and it did all change from thinking and talking to clothes and Sam.

"Time to go, let's get in the car" mum said as she picked up her handbag and car keys, her girls followed after carrying bags and swinging their hips. Dad is going to be so off about this.

The clinic that Dr Susan ran was only ten minutes away we had no delays and got there just as she finished her earlier session, always one for schedules mum said. The receptionist had our files on the desk ready which was a surprise since I had no idea that I was a patient here.

"Hi Diane, this must be Kerry and Kelly come inside" a smiling forty something doctor said as she opened the office door. I later found out that she was much closer to sixty but had a husband in plastics that helped her appearance, that’s plastic surgery not manufacturing.

"So I guess something has changed in the family, who is Kerry?"

I stepped forward and held out my hand and gently shook hers, "you guess right about the changes, they have been all mine" I said taking the seats offered to us.

Dr Susan made small talk then asked me to give a brief snapshot of what had happened, I finished with the comments about instant changes and parallel universes inside my head. The next ten minutes consisted of her and mum filling me in on the details about the poisoning during pregnancy before Susan outlined what she had been told from the Medical Review Team or MRT assigned to the issue. The pharmaceutical company was forced to provide ongoing support and medical cover until each child reached 25 years of age. The short version is that nearly twelve cases had so far been reported where male children had suddenly switched gender, their bodies showed male genitalia but they had for all intents and purpose become female. Some had been at a young age all the way up to twenty which I would be in a few months.
"I think it would be good for me to have a quick examination of your body, I assume you would prefer that to be with your mum and sister?" Susan asked it but in reality she was already showing mum and Kelly to the waiting room.

"Just slip into the next room and put on the fashion statement without a rear" she said pointing to the pink gown that would be similar to wearing a one sided night shirt, breezy to say the least.

As she prepared the examination table and turned on the ultra sound gear I came back out feeling exposed, or is that vulnerable, so much for patient confidence. Stepping up to the table was like dancing with two left feet, turn and grab to not flash the doctor, then sit and not squeal from the cold vinyl. Susan explained about the process and then started pressing my bladder and abdomen as she made suitable facial expressions. Then the hardest part of the exam when she asked me to roll onto my side and hang my butt off the bed.

"This is the worst thing that men have to put up with so just relax and it will be over in ten seconds"

I heard the snap of rubber glove and the cold touch and then pressure on my backside as she told me to relax, how do I relax when I am about to be totally embarrassed in front of her. It was all over before I could realize and after hearing mum mention other things gyno's have to do I decided that silence was the best option. Then came the cold jelly and ultra sound head as pictures formed on the monitor, tubes and lumps in grey and white joined by dark links or small tubes that I assumed were major blood vessels and plumbing works. Susan slowed down and started to point out certain items to me.

"This is a typical 3D shot for any normal young girl of your age and I gather it is not what you would have expected me to find in there."

"I am not surprised by anything this week, but can you tell me what the parts are?" I really didn't put two and two together in the same way as she did until I heard the words, ovaries and womb mentioned as she pointed to the monitor. The lower part showed a swollen womb with two floating circles and tubes off the top sides and a solid looking tube extending towards my penis region.

"Let me go lower down to show you what I can see" she said pushing the cold jelly and machine towards my testicles, "here I can see the end of your vagina, although it appears to come to a dead end."

I think that at this point I could almost make the rest of the diagnosis before Susan could get it out, I had female plumbing mixed with male plumbing and some interesting crossovers. What that meant was a bit unsure but I may have been guessing ahead of the doctor so opted to stay quiet again. I was told to get dressed and come back into the main office when ready which took about five minutes as I thought about what I had been hearing. I made sure my dress was neat and tidy before walking in and finding all three women sitting around as if nothing was unusual, just another day in the life of a switcher. Sorry, my name for those of us that had been human guinea pigs for a drug company.

"Could you please repeat what you told me next door so mum can be involved in this?" I asked unsure if she already knew but wanting more than just my input on the matter, if I was going to be given a choice. It took only a few minutes for mum and Kelly to catch up and understand that the new girl in the house had everything except an opening and was probably going to be having some surgery to make it one way or another. The choice was male or female, both parts looked normal although slightly cross coupled and fertility in the other twelve switchers was positive for both sets of equipment. They finished and looked at me as if it was now my time to talk and decide the future.

"What would surgery involve if I wanted to stay a male and what if I wanted to stay a female?" I said purposely mixing the sexes as I now understood that I had both.

Susan drew pictures and explained the downtime of each operation but then stopped and asked one simple question, "if at the press of a button I could make you either sex, what would your heart and mind choose?

Four months later I finished the surgery, my sex now matched my gender, the body and mind got back into sync and I have to say that the new wardrobe looks far better than the old male one. The drug dealers provided full cover and even a clothing allowance to make sure that I would be happy after suffering their stuff up. It was referred to as Parallel Intrinsic Input Gender Switching or Gender Function Condition, you may have seen the acronyms mentioned on the television or print media. GFC and PIIGS have been covered up as widely as possible but it tends to happen without any notice to males of any age. The trigger is brought about if they touch female clothes to their genitals and once triggered they can never return to being just male, the male wiring is shorted out and the female one starts to dominate every single action.

My only recommendation is to keep away from the closet or forever become a switcher.

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Comments

DES

jengrl's picture

I have a friend whose mother took DES during at least two pregnancies. When my friend was born, they naturally thought she was male. At two years old, she began dressing up as a little girl and suffered severe beatings from her father. My friend's sibling was born and they thought she was female. It was later found that DES had altered her Gender Identity and she was really male. As you can see, my friend is now a daughter and sister and her sister is now her brother. To this day, the parents refuse to accept that their children were altered by this horrible drug. They disowned both their children over this. It was given to women from the 1950's until the 1970's. There are thousands of victims out there.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

I had not heard of this drug

i wonder how many victims there are out there?

dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

It Was Used To Prevent Miscarriages

jengrl's picture

It was used to prevent miscarriages and there are thousands of victims out there . My friend is a member of a National Support organization for victims of DES exposure.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

My wife and I were both DES kids...

Andrea Lena's picture

...she was two months premature and two pounds at birth, and has been legally blind in her right eye since childhood. The boost in fertility seemed to have helped her mom because my wife was one of nine kids. I was five weeks premature and spent my first six weeks in the hospital with respiratory problems that followed me all through childhood as well. Nice to belong to another group, though!



Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Really Me 2

Me, I wonder how many there are denying the truth about themselves, or have been forced to be who they are not ? Glad that she was able to transition.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Diethylstilbestrol

Unsurprisingly, Wikipedia has a comprehensive article on the compound - including that it's only been in the past decade that researchers have examined behavioural or neurological changes in "DES sons":

Various neurological changes occur after prenatal exposure of embryonic males to DES and other estrogenic endocrine disrupters. Animals that exhibited these structural neurological changes were also shown to demonstrate various gender-related behavioral changes (so called "feminisation of males").

Clinical studies of transgendered individuals whose brains showed sexually dimorphic characteristics of their professed gender identities and counter to their chromosomal genders, consistent with what was observed in the animal models as noted above.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

DES, was a big deal!

It was the DES controversy that I first found when I discovered that "Gwen" was not going away and probably not a Daemon. There used to be a Yahoo group moderated by a Prof at University of Victoria. At the time they were having a hard time finding really hard evidence about it, though there are suspicious markers.

One thing that a Canadian group discovered is that there seemed to be a statistical corelation in birth order, and the third in line seemed to be more likely to be transgendered.

A university in Austrailia seems to have isolated a trans gene and the study has prety good sample size.

Some of the big Universities that had a program; namely George Washington, and George Town cancelled their programs, but in light of what I know about the situation, I think it was more about their sources of funding being right wing red necks.

It is a long hard fight, and I always discourage T folk from entering the fray. It is not about their being T, but about how much they are willing to lose. Some of the writers here stolidly maintain their false life because they can not suffer those losses, and it is to them that I give my undying respect and love.

I was a DES child also.

Ma Salaama

Gwendolyn

Old but not forgotten.

I found this story and the comments while reading another story that brought me to this one. A bit of humor to lighten this conversation. My mother was guilt ridden my entire life due to her being given D.E.S. but without it I would not be here. The other choice was Thiamine and I was so grateful to dodge that bullet. But the sense of guilt was used by my macho step father to divide the family and push me out the air lock.
I am having a big Du moment for not searching for this on the internet before I had just accepted what was done was done so keep your mouth shut. Not the best approach but this story and article brought this back to the forefront of my mind and I would like to converse with the others in our group who have had experiences with this. My searching has been stonewalled by medical professionals who have either just gave me a lecture of it was nothing to direct abuse of me as a person. It was like I was threatening to geld them with a rusty Girl Scout knife.
But I am better now and I just want to speak the truth and hear the truth. How about it kids any one up for some fun.
Michele {Misha}
April 22 1954 Yes I am a classic
his is still a hot issue as the dumb donkeys in charge even released a limited amount of the new improved Thiamine in the 1990's with the same results. I wonder if the rabid anti TS expression of some of our business?religious
{Pat Roberson }leaders are directly related to there fear of being held accountable.

The only bad question is the one not asked.