How does a smitten junior-high jock get on the close side of a cold embittered lad who's the splitting-image of his stunning classic tween star heart-throb?

This Valentine's Day quickie was 60% inspired by a middle school incident which I might expand on in a larger story. Please excuse this draft's grammar; I was scurrying to get this out on the appropriate day!

Take care!

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Valentine Walnut

by Deela Eon

As macho junior high jock I was, I gasped in spotting Craig McManon randomly pluck the red CD off the Sam Ash Music store table and slipped it into his wallet.

Shit! What the heck she's doing??

'He' I mean!

It was always easy to forget even though I basked the fantasy of it.

It was exactly like looking at a tomboy Velvet Brown.

Velvet as in National Velvet.

No shit.

Actually I didn't realize that uncanny bewitching spitting-image with an old flick till I overheard Craig's neighbors and our middle school teachers saying the same behind his back; A tween shaggy-haired Liz Taylor tomboy twin who always wore a beauty-spoiling scowl, and it was those same accolades that early turned him bitter and hard and aloof and so violently temperamental that not even bullies in school teased him.

I could understand that — but freaking shoplifting?? I guess he thinks the world owes his battered male ego and misery something, but not like that girl — er, guy!

Nonplussed what to do, I trailed at my routine stealth distance as he turned and headed for the store exit, bypassing the sales register counter for the open door —

"Hey!" a man's voice boomed and Craig's scruffy sneakers froze stiff like my heart as a security guard hustled up. "Wha'cha got your pocket??"

Those wide pinky Velvet lips wavered as the shrew shrank into a shaking mouse like a flowing damsel cowering before a glaring dragon.

Shit!

I can't let that happen! She — he deserves it for stealing, but but still —!!!

In a wild sweep I scooped up several CD boxes and raced up and pumped up a jocular bravado.

"Yo, Velvet!" I chaffed, coming between the guard and Craig's look of terror turned bewildered before a stranger. "Where ya goin' with my CD, sis?? I just told you hold it till I pay for it!!"

Both of them looked at me funny. Craig's pretty one of sheer bewilderment while the guard frowned at me and my bundle, "You told her to stuff it in her pocket?"

"Yea! I told my stupid sister just to hold it, but she can't keep holding something else!!" I declared, fishing the CD out of Craig's pocket and hoping his pricked male ego didn't bridle out of mouse mode and contradict me "— but I didn't know she really had to run to the John that bad!! Go 'head!" I snapped like an annoyed brother, gesturing Craig to escape into the mall beyond the doors. Instead she — he — looked totally nonplussed, like a cornered mouse unsure where to run from the cat then seemed to take a hint and started to move out —

The security guard frowned. "Hey stop —!"

"Yo! You don't want her to piss here on your shoes, do you?" I chaffed. "She's comin' right back either way!!"

The guard frowned, looked at me, my handful of CDs then at Craig then grudgingly shrugged and Craig looked at me blankly then scurried off.

"Next time tell your sister to keep her hands outta her pocket," the guard snapped and I sheepishly nodded and went to the cash register. I only had enough to buy one CDs out of twelve, but it was a 'legit' mistake and I waved at the guard on my saunter out into the bustling central mall.

My heart sank.

No sign of Craig.

Then who can blame him. He was probably really was scared to piss. At least I saved her — him, from a fate worst than embarrassment, even though I blew my cover after months of being her stealth shadow at school and staking out her — his modest home outside my own neighborhood. My face was just another junior jock in school to her — him — till now. Now I've been spotted — worst, maligned because I publicly labeled him the one thing he loathed.

Oh well, at least I had my shining knight moment. Maybe it's a one habit good to break anyway since you really have to question your studness when another guy perks you even more than leggy sweater babe Joyce Shaffer — and Velvet hardly has any boobs either!

Glumly I went outside the mall for the long walk home then suddenly sensed a presence trailing me —

"Hey—!!” someone called — a familiar voice — and I spun.

Craig!

Pretty in his mixed sheepishness and petulance. "Why — Why'd you do that?" he asked like catching a blackmailer.

Damn, but that's one wildly miscast voice! Velvet Brown sounding like a dude!

Still, seize the moment, guy!!

"I was wondering the same 'bout you!" I chided, trying not to sound flippant. Craig was almost looking for an insult to bash one, whether he owed me one or not.

He backed aback like surprised at being barked and haughtily shrugged. "No — No big deal. Half the kids in school do!"

"’Cept you got caught this time, right?"

He blinked aback at my candor and snarled. "What you know 'bout it?"

"I know next time you'll get caught you'll get a J.D. record that'll screw you from a good job and feeling proud ‘round your family and folks next door!”

He winced then snorted. "So why should you the motherfuck care?"

Man, Velvet shouldn't have any mouth like that! Really!

"Maybe I shouldn't —"

Go for it, man! Can't get any worst!

"— but I'll tell you the truth if you can take it."

Craig snickered. "Ain't no friggin' wimp!"

"Alright —" I braced my gut, glimpsed around for any eavesdroppers then belted the damning. "Because you look National Velvet as hell and didn't want to see my fav flick chick getting busted because you did a stupid-ass thing!"

His lush lashes snapped wide as those awesome violet eyes and he bitterly sniffed. "I ain't no fuckin' 'Velvet'! When you all gonna quite the shit??"

"Well, till you get plastic surgery you're stuck with it, right? Maybe it's a good thing too because if you looked like any other guy right now you'd be in the guard station with the police!"

"I don't owe nobody squat — 'specially joker jocks like you!"

"I'm not — but stop thinking ‘bout yourself and think what would your mom and dad be doing right now if the store called up 'bout what you did?" I challenged and his arrogant fell sober. "I don't know why you suddenly stole like that to begin with because it's the first time I ever caught you at it. You're not that angry at the world, are you?"

Craig prettily frowned. "You been following me??"

Trapped — but might as well let it out. "Yea. Ever since school term started."

"That's creepy! Weirdo creepy!"

"Maybe it is. but it just kept you from being grounded all year and your street calling you robber!" I hammered back them tactfully softened. "Look, I don't do guys — but Velvet Brown's my fav flick chick and you happen to look so exactly like her it's the next best thing to being 'round her."

"That's sicko!"

"Maybe -- but it doesn't hurt you or anyone what I imagine, and it shouldn’t matter if it helps both of us.”

“Mean ‘both of us’?”

Here we go —

“Well, since you don’t like getting caught like that, I wouldn’t mind helping out seeing that you don’t.”

"I don't need no babysitter!"

"Tell that to your mom next time you get caught!!" I rebuffed, hammering his meek spot. "Let me tell you something, you might think you're tough enough but you don't know how bad it is when your folks have to live with the whole block knowing their son's a robber! I ain't being kind saving you from that! I'm saving you from hell!"

For a moment he nibbled that soft tender lower lip. "So you want me to say thanks for saving my bacon, right?"

"No —" I said, pouncing on insane chest pounding opportunity, "I wanna make a deal! Let us be buddies to help you stay outta trouble!"

He bitterly snorted. "You think I'm that lame?? You just wanna do that because you wanna imagine that I'm — that some 'Velvet's hanging with you!"

Bingo! You'll never know how wild my fantasies dolls you up, girl — er, guy!

I shrugged. "Okay, that's part of it. I got a kinky fantasy. But I'm not asking you to wear a dress or anything, just be pals."

"Sissy pals!"

"Told you, I'm not like that. Now if I had a magic wand I'd make my wish real you'd be trouble for a guy, but I'm not gonna lie that your looks ain't part of it, but it doesn't mean we can't be any less friends and do real guy things."

"Fuck! Maybe I steal but you're a worst a weirdo! A guy following a guy around and that ain't faggot weird? Why the freak should I hang 'round you??"

"For one thing I know you suck in math and history and I can tutor you that every day after school and get to like it! I was the same way once till mom got this tutor for me who taught me tricks that makes it easy to remember and learn stuff! I can teach you the same stuff and start getting straight 'B's!"

Craig curtly sniffed, looking pretty in vexation, like he was frustrated I hadn't thrown him a baldfaced insult about his looks to flail fists at. "Suppose I said no, huh?"

"Then that's the way you want it. I don't want you to fail or get in trouble anymore. I can't help you do better in class to help you get your folks off your back if you don't want to, but I'm still going to be watching out for you — and if you doing something like you did again, I'll be there to bail you out again."

"I don't need no 'bailing' out!" He snapped, then shifted tact. "Suppose that guard didn't believe you and though you were ripping stuff too, would've you said 'no way' knowing me then?"

"No. I would've stalled him somehow, 'tripped' over him to give you a chance to run away or something."

Craig frowned in disbelief then snorted again. "I'm no fuckin' damsel that needs no rescue, weirdo!" he derided, starting to back if if to go away but stopped like he was mulling. "Thanks — for not lettin' my folks catch this," he grudgingly muttered.

"Wait!" I called and he stopped and I extended the bagged CD to him. "Take it. It's the one you grabbed. It'll be like the guy never stopped you, right??"

Craig eyed the bag then grudgingly took it like it was terror's due, like he'd somehow triumphed over the guard. "Thanks."

"You doing anything right now?" I quickly injected and he frowned. "How 'bout letting me apologize for calling you Velvet around people with a McDonalds Big Meal — anything you want?"

Craig sniffed. "Told you, I'm no fuckin' girl!"

"I know. You're just an angry dude who'd rather steal a CD than grab a free meal! And if you want me to bug off, you'll have to say so over a Big Mac!"

Craig bridled and balled his fists. "I know how to stop your shit!"

"Go ahead! We'll both be black and blue but it's not gonna change anything — or your looks! What's so hard 'bout having a buddy to rap and game and study with and getting guys at school to respect you better seeing that? But it's up to you! I'll lose my best chance for — for a best friend, but at least I was square with you instead of teasing you behind your back like most everyone else does — which is why you're always so friggin' rotten and lonely! But not totally lonely because I'll always be watching whether you want or not unless you tell me to stop over fries! So beat me!"

He bridled and snickered. "Freaking weirdo gay! Go find a real princess to save, creep!!" Craig snapped and spun off and away from my sinking chest then halted like he'd just peeked into the bag then hotly stormed back.

"Think this is fuckin' funny, huh??" he snapped on the verge of striking.

"What??"

"You know fuckin' what!!" he snapped, yanking the plastic bag open so vehemently it tore and exposing the red CD inside —

A Valentines Day tunes CD.

"Shit, don't blame me! That's the one YOU picked! I didn't know!!" I retorted, staring his glare down. "Look, if you feel that pissed about it, I'll go back and get you five CDs you really want, okay?"

"You don't gotta treat me shit!"

"Fine — but I'm still gonna follow you till you tell me to get lost over a Big Meal — if you're that stupid to knock down having a new friend."

He snorted and shoved the bag in my hands. "You don't wanna be my 'friend'! You just wanna nice piece of eye-candy following you around, right??"

So she — he — does admit he's attractive!

Somewhat.

"What does it matter so long we're macho pals doing macho stuff? And if you wanna tell me to 'stop' I will — even if I'll be a way bigger loser than you getting stopped by any guard!"

Craig smirked and stumped off a few weakening paces then stopped in a mulling pause then did something I wasn't sure was intentional or impulse, but he tossed his dark locks which settled over slim shoulders and about a milder face a little more fluffier and made a sulky tomboy Velvet even prettier. Even without any boobs.

Craig marched back and snatched the bag and snapped its split contents over his knee and tossed it far then his wildly miscast voice tartly muttered in my face with awesome pretty violet eyes glaring;

"Look weird at me over the table just once and I'll freakin' kill you, got it??..."

FIN