The Center: I joined The Center and all I got was This!?: 5

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The Center: I joined The Center and all I got was This!?

The Center and all characters introduced elsewhere
are Copyright  © Lillith Langtree et all.
All else are belong to me (Copyright  © 2011 Faeriemage)
All Rights Reserved.

"You're naked?! Oh MY GOSH!"

Suddenly my attention was fixated on her, and I knew that so would be the attention of everyone within the sound of her voice.

"Amanda, what are you doing!"

I'd jumped up and I was rushing over to her.

"Amanda, don't touch me there."

I was already burgundy, and I didn't think I could be much more embarrassed than that. Oh boy was a wrong. I tripped as I was almost to her.

"Amanda, that hurts, go slower!"

I collapsed on top of her, half in and half out of my room, completely naked wearing nothing but my hair and a smile, as they say.

Apparently Francine's power spread to anyone in contact with her, as everyone was staring at me as well now.

"Eep!" I hopped up, or at least I tried to, as my legs were tangled up in Francine's and I tripped into my room landing with my shoulders on the ground and my butt in the air. I quickly scrambled out of that position and into my room.

I tried to close the door, but Francine was still blocking it. "Hey, I'm still here!"

My attention focused for a moment on Francine before I broke free of her power and tried to drag her into my room. She finally got the idea and helped me out, since there was no way I was moving her on my own.

She whispered, "Sorry," through the door just as we were closing it.

"And here I thought my compromising situation would have been with a man. . .mores the pity."

"What are you saying, Amanda?"

"Nothing whatsoever."

"That's very important, write it down."

I looked around for a pencil and paper for a moment before realizing she was joking.

"Oh, ha ha."

"Um, could you put some clothing on, please?" Her face was almost turning the same shade as my entire body.

"Just a thought, but would you hold your face up to my body so I can compare shades?"

"Amanda!"

"What? Oh. Right. Sorry, Francine."

I decided to try out Goth girl this time, so I went white (the color not the skin tone) for my skin, black for my hair, and applied the heavy Goth makeup around my eyes, topped off with black lipstick.

"I think we already have a Goth around the center, and at least she wears clothing."

"Oh, yeah." I quickly moved toward my dresser and slipped into my uniform. Then after picking myself off the ground I put on yoga pants and a tank top.

"Ok, I'm groaning and I can't even hear your mental monologue."

"How do you know I have a mental monologue, Francine?"

"It seems like everyone has an internal monologue these days at the Center."

She had a point there, I mean, have you done a search for The Center recently on BC? Scary.

I shook myself lightly and surveyed the damage I'd been doing to the fourth wall in my room. "So, you think I need to patch this up a bit?"

"Nah. This story has had a semi-permeable fourth wall since the beginning. Leave it alone for a while and it should mend itself, Amanda."

She had a point, so we decided to head off in search of something to do. I stepped out of my room, looking at Francine behind me, and ran into another mobile wall. I put up my hands to push myself back from it. Ok, it was the same mobile wall as before, and I flushed.

Here I thought that maybe after transition I might start liking girls or something. I mean, sure I liked to look, but give me a manly body any day.

Nope, looks like I was still into guys, and I wouldn't mind this guy getting into. . .

"Sorry. I should have been watching where I was going." He said interrupting my train of thought

"You can run into me anytime you want. . .what was your name again?"

"Fred."

"Hey, maybe we could rewind to the end of the last chapter and you could knock on my door instead of Francine."

"Uh. . ."

"What did we just talk about, Amanda?"

"Sorry. Oh well, I would have loved to climb on top of you."

It seems that Fred was one of the more bowling ball shaped tools in the shed, because he finally had the decency to blush. I wondered how hard I would have to throw myself at him to stick.

"I'm not sure if, I mean I used to be. . .You know what I'm saying."

"Well, if you're ever looking to test drive a sports car, then look me up."

We left him stammering in the hall, and Francine giggled at me, "Amanda, you are sooo bad."

"Hey, it's not like I'd let just anyone in the driver's seat, but he looks like he has good eye hand coordination."

"Amanda!"

"And speaking of hands, if they are representative of. . ."

Francine stopped and got a distant look on her face.

"Francine?"

"Ok, I think I need a shower before we head off to the rec room."

"I wouldn't mind joining you."

"What?"

"In another stall. I need a cold shower as well."

Showered and refreshed, if much colder, we headed off toward the rec room and the promised movie.

I think I'd had enough wackiness and barely disguised innuendo for an evening so I was looking forward to an evening of mindless entertainment.

They were showing the new movie by that one dude, yeah, you know the one.

Oh, don't give me that. You've secretly wanted to watch it since you heard about it and are jealous that I got to see it before it was even released.

Apparently the Center has more connections than we even knew.

So, Francine and I get to the room, and there is Fred himself. He smiles over at me, but I don't figure I want another cold shower today, and he may be gorgeous, but he makes Cronk look like Einstein.

Ok, so that wasn't so much a classical movie reference as a slightly dated one. I still liked it.

Apparently this year's model is named Fred.

I wonder if he cooks spinach puffs.

If you still haven't got it, then there is no hope and you have just become the Englishman from that bad joke. I'll ask you if you've figured it out when you're old and gray.

Having filled my quota of references to jokes only I get in the first place, I survey the room and find a place to sit.

There are two empty spots on stools at the back of the room. I'm so glad that I wore pants and not a skirt, as that could have gotten embarrassing.

We watched the movie, and it felt vaguely familiar. It was about this girl who liked to run around everywhere in red body paint. . .

Just kidding. So, we watched the movie, and about halfway through, I fell something brush against my shoulder. I brush it off and think nothing of it.

Then something tickles down my face, and I begin looking around the room. There's something floating around in the darkness.

"Hey could someone turn on the lights?"

A couple of photokinetics oblige and we see for the first time that there are hundreds of feathers floating through the air.

What's going on here? There slipping up from under the crack in the door. And so I open it up, only to be snowed under in a drift of white goose down. This was getting stranger by the moment. I pushed out into this thinking only one thing over and over to myself.

This is all wrong.

I finally get to a window, and I realize that these feathers are all snowing down on us. I can't contain the wrongness any longer.

"White! The feathers are most definitely not supposed to be white!"

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Comments

I can't decide if I love you or hate you.

I love you cause this is darn funny. I hate you cause this is darn funny, and I wish Fluke had been this good....

Dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

Completely bonkers!

A naked tussle in the dorm room, offering to compare shades of blush, a conversation about the fourth wall, mentioning the fourth wall to someone unaware of its existence, in-jokes (between the author and characters), and the room filling up with white feathers (presumably not dove-ish then if the colour's "wrong" - unless what would appear white to ordinary vision should appear different to our protagonist's enhanced vision).

I wonder what hilarity the next installment will bring...

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Nah, not completely bonkers ....

But getting there. Then it's a quick drive onto *stark raving bonkers*, you know, just a hop-skipo-and-a-jump from a *Charlie Sheen*.
Okay, so what meds are you on and can I get some?

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

White featthers

Nah they appear white to everyone. It's just that there not supposed to be white.



He entered the hall to get warm. She left it two hundred years later.
Faeriemage



He entered the hall to get warm. She left it two hundred years later.
Faeriemage

Plaid

I think you went to ludicrous speed and past me ;)

Most funny story on BC in a long time

The "semi-permeable fourth wall" actually made me LOL. Very nice change from the darker Center stories by other authors, and well written too.

Absolutely hilarious, our

Absolutely hilarious, our majesty is pushing the borders of comedy and threatening to invade the dark and gloomy lands of the Center'verse...