For All the Pearls in the World

For All the Pearls in the World

by: Shalimar

The story of Mark/Marcy. This is a CD story that's not a CD story, a transition story that's not a transition story, a love story that's not a love story, a body swap story that's not a body swap story. Now that you are totally confused and intrigued read:

This time when my boss, the great financial adviser, Judah Raisnhoff, I flew into Seattle he took me with him. I was going to meet William Goodsales. My career was getting better all the time. As we flew I went over the notes again. Stocks: using my Palm they still made sense. The malls were excellently priced. My baby was the oil drilling deals. I had a friend, a geologist I had met in college when we were students. He checked the data every way he could. It cost us a pretty penny. His worst-case assessment was that for every dollar Goodsales put into these projects he would get back two.

When we arrived at the airport we were driven to Minimicro headquarters in Redmond by one of the company limos. The drive there was relatively short and I had time to talk to Judah once more about our projects. Our wait for Mr. Goodsales was also short. Jude introduced me and I saw why some women actually liked the looks of this handsome man. He had a rugged yet caring look. I made sure I was on my best behavior, and not too turned on by him. Jude said that I was the main person with the information and everything was finally checked by me. That impressed Goodsales. He said that although I was young, I knew what I was talking about. He also said he liked my smile. If he only knew why I was smiling at him. As the meeting progressed I noticed that Bill was actually happy with my proposals.

The meeting broke up for lunch. I continued my presentation after the excellent catered meal. It consisted of roast beef, chicken and freshly broiled fish from the Sound. There were also salads. Although, I had only a little of everything I realized I would not need dinner that evening. During the lunch I stayed with Bill and listened to every word he said. Personally, I though he was a pompous ass. Although sometimes he was boring, I was able to use the information he gave me enabled me to finish my presentation better later. I knew more of what to emphasize and what to slide over.

Finally, around 2:30 the meeting ended with William Goodsales buying everything we had proposed. Even after the expenses of the day my share of the commission would be a cool quarter million. I was on my way to being rich enough to be able to attain my goal. Then Mr. Goodsales gave us his surprise.

"I like this guy. I want him on my team."

"I have an obligation to Goldenberg & Saccharine. They have a contract."

"I can pay them to release you. Mark, you'll make 2% of what you make for me."

I looked at Judah hoping that he would say yes.

"It's up to you. The other partners and I had discussed this possibility before you came."

"OK. As soon as things can be arranged."

The next day I officially joined the Minimocro staff. As I was still in the Seattle area I decided to look for a condo as close to work as possible. It took a week of constant looking until I found the right place. Then there was the task of packing my things in New York City. I said my good bys to my friends in New York. That was difficult. The day after my good by party the movers came and moved everything across the continent. While waiting for my stuff to arrive, I bought a sleeping bag and a blow up mattress at Model's. Then I went to the local Sears and bought a pillow. I also bought a couple of nightgowns and a few pairs of panties to tide me over until the movers arrived. You see I am transgendered. I wish I could magically be turned into the young woman that I feel I am inside, but that will never happen.

When I arrived at Minimicro that first day after my move I went to Bill's office again. He had hired a new secretary for me. She was transferred from the secretarial pool that day. She was about 5' 3" and weighed about 100-110. She was a size 4 or 6 and about 22-years-old according to my guess, making her about a year or two younger than me. That first day, she wore a white conservative blouse with a black straight skirt that went down 2" below the knee. She had chocolate brown hair that fell in waves down to her breasts. She said her name was Susan Hazelton.

She met me at Mr. Goodsales office and then brought me to my office. It was down the hall from Mr. Goodsales. She opened my computer and asked me what access code I wanted. I told her that I wanted to put it in myself. She walked away from the screen and I typed in 'girlyboy'. I may want to change, but I am still very much in the closet. I am very fearful that I would be found out here in Seattle. I have to play the big bad guy in finance until I have enough to go through the pill and operation. I don't think that the operation is a good solution. It is the only solution that will stop me from going crazy. I am very aggressive because I have to get the money for my change. I'd rather be a loving woman to my boyfriend or husband. That is a strong woman with a great man. Mr. Goodsales, Bill to all around him, is handsome in a rugged way. I notice things like that. Maybe after I change he'll look at me as the woman of his dreams.

We went to work. The first day, I showed Susan how to analyze stock reports and spread sheets. I needed her to help me look for the really good investments. Later that day she showed me how good an intellect she was by finding an investment that was outstanding. I looked it over and checked out the information every way I could to make sure that the information she was able to get was accurate. I trusted her, not the information. I presented the information to Bill later that day. He liked it and asked me to start purchase proceedings as quickly as possible.

"Could I have my 2% as a minor investor?"

"Sure," Mr. Goodsales agreed. "I don't mind a minor partner."

"Also give two tenth of one percent to Ms Hazelton out of my share. She deserves to be rewarded."

"You'll make her a friend very quickly."

"I believe in rewarding those who help me," I replied.

"So do I, Mark," Bill said. "So do I."

The way he said it made me cringe inside. Something was not right with the way he said it. I couldn't place exactly what it was. He actually scared me. It sounded like he rewards people with a stab in the back.

I went back to my office and told Susan that he accepted the proposal. I didn't tell her about her share. I thought it would be better as a surprise. Besides, I didn't want to disappoint her if it didn't work out.

During the next few days I noticed that Susan was trying to get me to make her more than just my secretary to me. For example, the second day she wore clothes that were I would say said, 'take me'. Her navy blouse was tight and showed both cleavage and belly. Her skin-tight skirt was at least four inches above the knee and probably closer to a foot. She tried to show me her assets all day, and even tried to be invited to lunch. I did go out with her and we talked. It was pleasant.

I am the right age for her and when I see the man I am physically I see that I am cute. How can I tell her that I am not like that? Could I tell her everything? I believe she is becoming a friend. I need friends here. Most of mine are on the East Coast.

That second week Susan told me she would be late because she needed to have her car repaired. I asked her where she was getting the repair. It was about a mile away from my new apartment. I suggested to Susan that I would pick her up at the auto repair shop. She was thrilled. I think she saw this as a chance to be alone with me for a while again.

I only had to wait a short while before Susan showed up at the repair shop. She told the owner what to do and she then slid into the front seat, close.

"I know that you have been trying to get me to be more than your boss, Susan," I said as she tried to snuggle close to me.

"I was hoping you would notice," she replied.

"I couldn't help, but notice," I answered, "But,"

"You're not gay?" she asked. "Don't tell me if you are. Mr. Goodsales asked me to spy on you."

"No," I replied and she gave a sigh of relief. "Trans. And I don't care what you tell Mr. Goodsales."


"I'm a transsexual."

"You mean you were a girl and now you are a boy?" Susan asked, surprised.

"No," I replied. "I am a boy, as you put it, except between my ears. But, that feeling has been with me all my life. Guess, I'm just one of the girls."

"But, what you do is usually done by men. It is considered a man's job, and you do it aggressively. Just like a man."

"It is easy for me." I replied. "And I'm good at what I do. Not all women have nurturing jobs. Some are very successful as CEO's and financial advisors."

"I'm sorry, I thought you would be happier doing a more stereotype female job if what you say is true."

"If I could still do this after I transition then why not?" I replied. "I'm good at it and these men will still want me for my brain even if I want them to want me for my body."

"You expect to look like a woman?"

"I expect to have all the proper curves that will set a man thinking with his dick."

"They always do," Sue responded.

We giggled. Susan was surprised at my action.

"What is your female name?" she asked.


"May I meet Marcy?"

I was surprised.

"You really want to?" I asked.

"Yes. If she is anything like you I think we could be great friends."

"She is me."

"I know. Do you like sex with a woman or a man?"

"Right now, I prefer women, but I see men as women do and know and feel the attraction. I even have some attraction to Mr. Goodsales."

"Yea, I had a fling with him a while back," she said looking away.

We drove into work. Again, Susan found an investment that I was able to present to Bill later that day. I received my two percent as a minor partner and Susan received her two tenths of one percent from my share. I was making money and so was she. Her added income actually made me feel good inside. There was some incentive for her to do well, but that was not my motive.

That evening I drove her to the repair shop.

"Could I meet Marcy tonight?" Susan asked.

I thought for a while.

"Sure," I replied.

"What will you wear?"

I have a basic black dress that I think I look sexy in. It has a low cut that shows off my cleavage nicely."

"You have breasts?" she asked looking closely at my chest.

"Breast forms or Falsies. I could have my curves looking good. I could have a guy want to take me home to meet mama."

"Does she have to be home?"

"If she isn't he'll want to make me a 'mama'."

We giggled at that remark.

We arrived at my new apartment. I parked in my private space and we walked upstairs to my home. I made her comfortable in my bedroom while I got my things out of the closet and draws. A little while later Susan met Marcy as I continued to finish my looks. Like a good friend, Susan helped me with my nails.

"I am actually jealous," she said. "You look prettier than me."

"Thank you," I said. "You are kind."

"No, I'm serious," she continued. "You should have your choice of the guys."

"You're kidding me."

"I wish."

I was finally finished. I stood up and twirled around.

"You make a very convincing woman," she told me.

"Thank you," I said curtseying. "So do you."

"I was born this way, honey."

Sadly, I looked down and said, "I wasn't."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, Marcy."

"That's OK."

"I'm seeing you as a woman, though."

"Thanks. I am a woman, at least inside."

"Have you ever gone out of the apartment, Marcy?"


"You must be lonely."

"I am," I told her. "You're the first person to meet me out here. Back home very few knew me. I hope those back East keep in touch but it's a long way to New York. Is it OK if we order pizza and just talk tonight?"

"No more than a slice for me," she told me. "I don't know if I could eat that much. I'd like to talk."

"I'll order a whole pie and have the rest later this month. A freezer and microwave does wonders for a single woman sometimes."

When the pizza man came I notice he was starring at both of us and having a hard-on. I took my wallet out and handed him a twenty and told him to keep the change. I bent down to put the pizza on the coffee table in a way that I gave him another good view. I figured I should give him an added tip.

"He could make me hot anytime," Sue said as she starred at the door after he left.

"Yea," was all I could say as I starred at that same door.

While we were eating I asked Susan, "What does Goodsales have on you?"

She looked away. I noticed she bit her lip as she did. She was trying to hold back tears.

"Is it that bad?" I asked. "Is it really worse than what I revealed to you today?"

"He made me have an abortion," she said through the tears that finally came through. "He said he would expose me if I didn't."

As I held Susan, she continued, "I went to a bar and he picked me up. We went to his place and we made love. I got pregnant. He said he would expose me if I didn't."

"I don't understand. Why would he have anything on you?"

"I was seventeen. I made myself up to look older."

"I still don't understand," I told her. "The way I see it you have the goods on him."

"I'm Catholic," she explained. "I go to church. I follow the teachings of the Holy Father."

"Oooo," was all I could say. We ate in silence for a while. Then I said, "He can't expose you. If he does, he gets into trouble. It is still statuary rape."

"But it was still an abortion."

"Maybe you should have run away and have that love child, but you didn't. Don't continue to beat yourself up about it now."

"Abortion is not right. I should have had the baby. Mom and daddy would kill me if they ever found out."

"You'll have others. You must believe me."

"You don't understand. When I had that abortion a part of me died. There is still a hole in my heart."

Susan continued to cry. All I could do is hold her. I also had a tear in each of my eyes. There was also anger towards Goodsales because of what he did. How could he hurt someone, especially a woman he had been intimate with like that?

We ended up watching a 'chick flick' that I wanted to see. We both cried at the end. After the film we talked until it was time for bed. She slept in my spare bedroom and I loaned her some clothes in the morning. My clothes were a fairly good fit for her.

During lunch the next day Susan was looking at one of the bulletin boards in the lunchroom a crying softly.

I came over to her and put my arm around her and looked. The board had a notice about a mother-daughter day coming in a few weeks. It was a request that the employees who wish to take their children to the office notify security a few days before so security can give the children passes. The notice said it was a way to protect the children.

"That hole must be deep," I said kissing her tears as we held each other.

"I sometimes can't even pass a playground because of the children playing and laughing."

"I'll be your daughter for the day," I told her.

She managed to kiss me as she said, "I'd be proud to be your mother."

I stayed with Susan until we got back to our office.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I asked.

"Hey, I'm the mother," she replied with a smile. "I should be taking care of you."

With Susan's encouragement I started to dress in fem more often. She sometimes stayed the evening in my spare bedroom and I loaned her some clothes for the morning. I started to occasionally go out as Marcy in local area. I began feeling bad dressed as a man at work. Sometimes I was daring and had a blouse instead of a shirt. I think Susan was the only one who noticed. I think
Susan was getting into her role as "mom."

One day Susan suggested that we go out to a local club and try to get picked up by guys. It took a little prodding on her part, but I finally relented. I actually got excited thinking about being treated like a girl, dancing with a guy, and finally being held by a man while he kissed me. This was beginning to feel right to me.

I took most of the day getting ready. I first shaved my body all over. Then I took a lazy scented bath that seemed to wash all my troubles away. I didn't feel that I had any tension, but that bath was relaxing. After drying off and putting on some oil on my skin I put on some press on nails. I shaped them properly and painted them and my toes red. I then put on a red corset that Susan suggested I get the last time we were in Victoria's Secret. It gave the illusion of breasts. I followed with the garter belt and black stockings. Then I put on my red silk panties that I also got at Vicki's.

It was then the doorbell rang. It was Susan. She was dressed in a black sequined blouse with a long black skirt that had a slit on the side to show her black stocking leg as she walked. She looked hot. I was going to have competition tonight. It made me jealous, yet happy for her.

"I should be ready in about ten minutes," I told her

"Just like a woman," she said. "Never on time."

That made me smile.

I put on my red dress. The hem went about four inches above the knees. I'm a tall lady at five foot eight so that few inches of extra leg could drive a man wild. I finished with the proper makeup. Then the jewelry went on including the hooked earrings necklace and bracelets. I was ready. Those guys at the club will not have a chance. Not with us two.

Susan drove downtown to a nice club. She insisted that we get a table near the dance floor. We were exposed and I was frightened. How could she put us so prominent? After a while I began to relax.

Then two guys came over and started talking to us. The man closest to me was Winston. He seemed like a nice gentleman. He talked more than me, but what amazed me is that I was actually interested in what he had to say. Eventually he asked me to dance and I accepted. During a slow dance I melted in his arms. He then took me back to the table and we talked some more. I was having fun. We danced some more and during another slow dance we kissed. WOW! Kissing Winston was heavenly. A few minutes after we again went back to our table, Susan dragged me into the bathroom.

"You like Winston?" she asked as she fixed her lipstick.

I also checked out myself.

"Yes, very much," I said as I fixed my hair.

"Just be careful girl. I don't want you to get hurt."

"With Winston I think I will take a chance," I replied as I fixed my lipstick. "He's so nice and interesting. I'm not pretending. I like him. What about your guy?"

"I like David. I think I have to careful too."

"I hope he likes you that much."

We go back to our new boyfriends and Winston continues to dominate me, and my thoughts. I feel safe with him. After an excellent evening He offers to drive me home. I looked at Susan.

"Go ahead," she tells me. "David was going to come to my place anyway. “Call you tomorrow."

"'K" I say as I put a wrap around my shoulders and walked with Winston.

We walk to the car with my hand around his arm. When we get to his car we kissed. I melted into him. I felt him grow. It made me warm inside. I was hoping this is the man in my future. In part of my brain, reality set in. How can I make love to him with this equipment? I am confused, but when he slid behind the wheel I move closer. I needed his strength next to me. When we get to my apartment he kissed me again and I just had to kiss back.

"Want to come in?" I asked. I had hit the point of no return.

"Well, for a little while," he replied. He sounded reluctant.

I let him in and showed him around. I then helped him sit on the couch.

"Want coffer tea? Or are you a liquor person?"

"Nothing," he replied. "I'm fine."

I went over to him and sat on his lap. We kissed. At the time, kissing him was the most important thing for me. I felt him poke me below.

"You want to have sex?" I asked.

"I can't do this with you, yet," he replied. "I haven't had this good a time with a woman in a long time. I don't want to blow it for the next times by making this a one night stand."

What he said was so wonderful. I laid my head on his shoulder, but his little pecker kept telling me that it wanted action.

"You gave me a gift tonight," I said as I got into a better position. "Let me give you one also."

"I can't let you do this."

"I like you, Winston. I need to do this. Please, let me."

I unzipped his pants and put my hands on his member. I rubbed him until he comes. I was happy he came as he kissed me. I think a spark of love was lit between us that night.

Late the next morning, I heard the phone ring.

"Hello," I said.

"What happened when he took you home?" Susan asked on the other side.

"Winston was nice and a perfect gentlemen," I replied. "When we got to my apartment, we kissed. It was wonderful. I felt so good in his arms."

I started to cry.

"What's wrong?" Susan asked.

"Me!" I shouted through tears.

"Will you be alright until I get there?" she asked. "I'm coming over."

"I think so," I replied.

I was still crying when she arrived.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm not a girl."

"You are to me," she said as she held me.

"I act like a girl. I think like a girl. Inside I am a girl. But this shell is that of a guy. Why!?"

As my years of pain washed out through my tears and talking, Susan continued to comfort me. One of the things that I did that day was to make up my mind to finally do what I wanted to do all my life: to be the girl I always felt myself to be. I would transition. Susan's friendship and assistance in the past few weeks where we acted like good girlfriends made me realize that I needed this more than anything else in my life. Winston was the final piece of the puzzle. I made the
call to the Igersoll Gender Center, which is a major clinic in Seattle. I did it from work, which scared me because of what Susan said about having to have to spy for Mr. Goodsales. Were there others doing the same thing? After the phone call I took a deep breath and went to Susan.

"I did it," I told her. "I made the phone call. I have an appointment for later today. They will have me talk to someone, and hopefully I will see a doctor."

She got up and gave me a hug. I was crying. I looked at her and noticed so was she.

"I'm happy for you," she told me.

"I'm still scared," I replied.

"I can go with you," she reassured me.

"You don't have to," I answered.

"Yes, I do. I'm you friend, or would you prefer to call me mom?"


"If things work out right you'll have a BIG butt."

We giggled, then gave each other a hug and went back to work. I found something small for the richest man in the world. My usual cut was in cash for a change.

After work Susan drove me to Ingersol in Seattle. We had a hard time finding it. Then I remembered it was a building behind the one on the street. I walked in and nervously went to the receptionist and told her about my appointment. She asked me to sit and wait. I sat down. Susan saw my nervousness and took my hand.

"You'll be alright," she assured me.

I leaned on her. She is so good to me. If I were a "normal" man I would do my best to sweep her off her feet. However, I need to be the woman and wife in the relationship.

Eventually a tall woman, who was a few years older than me, walked out of an office and introduced herself as Francine. I introduced myself, as Marcy. I was surprised. Then I explained who Susan was. I followed her back into the room she came out of. I told her about my feelings since early childhood. I told her how I used to dress up in mom's clothes. Mom thought it was cute, but one day, dad saw me and decided to make a man out of me. He wasn't going to let me be a sissy. He insisted I learn all the sports including football, and boxing, which I
hated. I was miserable until I saw gymnastics in the Olympics. Those girls
were graceful and I wanted to be like them. When I told dad that I wanted to try out for the high school gymnastics he was thrilled. I never told him that I really wanted to compete with the other girls. I also told the psychologist that my best friends were girls and that I had a crush in high school on a boy named Bruce Mitchell. The same was true in college. I fell in love with my freshman roommate, Rodger Milano.

I had to move out because I was afraid he would find out. My roommate after my freshman year was a girl named Annabel. That placated dad who though we were lovers. When she got pregnant as a junior and then married the father, dad was shocked. By then I had managed to get an intern with Goldenberg & Saccharine where I learned my craft. The session ended then. She then gave me a card for a medical doctor, and walked me to the door. She finally told me that she had started her transition when she was a little younger than me. I smiled at her and thanked her. I made another appointment to speak to her. I was on cloud nine. I was on the road to womanhood. She also suggested I join one of the group session that met at Ingersol. I chose one that met on Wednesday evenings.

My visit to the doctor was uneventful. I found out this doctor was also someone who had transitioned. She did the usual exam and told me I was a healthy as a horse, but she still needed to check my urine and blood work. A few days later she asked me to come in again. She gave me a shot in the butt, and then gave me a prescription for Premarin. It would last only a month. I asked the doctor for a longer prescription, but she refused because she said she wanted to make sure I didn't have problems.

"What problems?" I asked.

"Liver problems are the main ones," the doctor told me. "You could also get high blood pressure."

I had several more dates with Winston over the next few weeks. He was a gentleman during all those wonderful evenings and weekends. I just had to tell him about me before our relationship went too far. I made a candlelight dinner one Friday night about the fourth week we were together. I was quieter than normal trying to find the right words to tell him.

"I know you well enough by now," he said. "That I know there is something bothering you."

I nodded yes and looked down.

Winston picked up my chin and told me, "Please tell me. It can't be that bad."

"It is," I replied "It is me. I'm a transsexual. I don't want our relationship to go any deeper unless you knew this."

"Oh," was all he said. He though for a while.

Finally he took my hand and said, "I love you, and you are the girl of my dreams. I don't care that you were born a boy. Actually I do care, but you are who I want. At this time I actually miss you when I'm not with you."

I was crying as I went to his arms. The one I was most afraid to loose accepted me as me.

That Monday I went to my office and noticed that Susan was not at her desk. I assumed that she was on an errand because I noticed her car parked next to mine. After having some coffee, I went about my work. An hour later I began to get worried. Susan is normally not like that. I asked Goodsale's secretary if she had seen Susan. She told me no, but I had a feeling that something was wrong. I couldn't place it. About 11 in the morning I received a call from Goodsale's secretary for me to go to his office. After finishing some minor work, I got off my computer and went to Goodsale's office.

I walked in Bill's office and saw Susan tied up, gagged, and blindfolded. I didn't like the looks of things.

"What's going on?" I asked Bill.

"I want you to switch bodies with her."

"Are you a magician or something?"

"Wizard, witch, what ever," Bill told me, nonchalantly. "Just know I can do it. I know you want it."

"What does she say about it?"

"Don't worry about that," Bill replied.

"Does she consent?" I demanded.

"Ask her."

I went over to remove the gag.

"No, ask her the way she is," Bill demanded.

"You don't have enough money," I told him as I was seething. "You didn't even have it when your stock was at it's highest."

"You'll have everything you've always wanted including being my mistress."

I turned around and walked over to Bill. To say that I was angry would be putting it mildly. I put my hand around his throat so my now long fingernails were touching his skin.

"Release her or I'll pull your guts out."

"Be reasonable, Mark."

There was fear in his eyes and voice.

"I said, 'release her'. I haven't killed anyone since the war."

I dug the nails slightly into his skin. For a few moments I was afraid I would have to carry out my threat.

"Release her," he said to his bodyguard. Then to me, "You're fired!"

"No shit!"

The goon untied her hands and feet. I waited until she walked out of the office free before I walked out the door.

When I passed the bodyguard I looked at him in the eyes and said, "Try it. I will claim self defense."

I went to my office and cleaned out my desk and rode the elevator down to the first floor. I walked out the door and then over to the curb near my car and sat down. I put my elbows on my knees as my hands held my face. I started to sing a song that I had adapted from a book title by Irma Bombeck,

"Life is just a bowl of cherries and I've got all of the pits; life is just a bowl of cherries, and I've got all of the pits;" ect.

Then I cried.

After a while, Susan came out of the building, walked over, and sat down next to me. She put an arm around me. I leaned into her and rested my head on her shoulder.

She kissed me on my hair as she said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Eventually I managed to stop crying.

"How are you doing?"

"Great! I managed to loose the best job on Earth, nearly killed my boss, and lost my opportunity to get my greatest wish: to be a gal. But I couldn't do that to you."

"You could still have your wish."

"How? I can't afford the operation now."

"I'm a witch. Would you rather be my sister or daughter?"

"Don't tease me now, please."

"I'm very serious about this. You could become a witch, too."

"You're serious."

"I wouldn't tease you now."

"Why didn't you do this before?" I asked. "You know how much I need to be a genuine girl."

"When Bill and I made love those may years ago that resulted in abortion, he took my powers from me. You gave it back to me by forcing him to release me. His magic became weaker."

"Sounds like he's still dangerous."

"Very. So, how are going to be related?"

I thought about it for a few minutes.

"I think I'd rather call you mom."

"I'm only 24. That would make you 6 at the best. It would mean growing up again, going to school."

"Gives me time to learn. But what about Winston?"

"I knew there was something I liked about you," she said as she hugged me. "I'll ask him if he wants to grow up with you. Next door, perhaps?"

"That would be nice. I could be his girlfriend right away."

"Things could work out that way. There are no guarantees with love, however.

"Ready," I replied.

Suddenly I was no longer leaning on her shoulder. I was between her arm and her waist with my head below her breast. I looked down and noticed I was wearing a yellow and white dress. I wore yellow sneakers and white bobby sox with a yellow trim and bow. I turned around and gave Susan a hug around the neck.

"Thank you, mommy!" I told her

I thought as I stood on her thigh.

"Who am I?" I asked.


"Who is daddy?"

"Billy Goodsales, right now Billy Goat Goodsales. He's eating some of the papers on his desk. After he's finished he'll become a man again."


"Don't worry, I've changed the paper into food."

"Good. What about the goon?"

"He's now a gorilla. She's making a mess of the office. They'll change back together."

I put my forefinger on and then in my mouth.

"I like."

"Hey, we both lost our jobs today. How about we go to the beauty parlor and get our hair done? That should perk us up."

"Nails too?" I asked

"Nails too. And after we can bake some cookies," she said as she got up and put me on her hip and started to walk to her car.

"Can Winny help bake too?" I asked. Can we lick the bowl?" I asked.

"If there is time before dinner," she laughed.

"I have the best mommy in the world." I told her as I gave her the biggest hug I could.

During that hug I realized who I actually was. I was that abortion she had so many years ago. By giving me the gift of making me her daughter and a genetic girl she gave herself a gift by not having that hole in her heart.

The title is based on a Talmudic story of a pearl found tied to the neck of a donkey as a present to a rabbi. His students had presented the animal to him so the rabbi could do his work of selling and fixing pots. The rabbi asked his students if they had bought a donkey or a donkey and a pearl. When they said, "A donkey," he returned the pearl to the former owner of the donkey, a non-Jew. When the jewel was returned, the former owner said, "Blessed is the G_d of the Jews."

"What that man said," the rabbi told his students, "is more precious than all the pearls in the world."

I thank my editors, Jenna Hitch, Norman O Johnson and Davenport without
whom this story would have been missing too much. I also thank Jacquie Windsor who gave me the idea for this story.

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