Great Writers

Roland and DiMaggio in...
Great Writers

Voice Over: (Jennifer Brock)
Just starting on Oxygen now, ' Halfelven', the inspiring tale of the simple authoress who worked her way up to become Queen of America and Empress of the greatest publishing empire the world has ever seen. But right now it's time for 'Great Writers', introduced as usual by Andrea DiMaggio.

Andrea: Lady Kristie, which has been for you the most demanding of the great transgender tragic heroines that you've played?

Kristie: Well, of course this is always a difficult one, but I think the answer must be Lina by Joanne Barberella.

Andrea: Which you played at Theater in the Rhombus in Central Park in 2009.

Kristie: That's right, yes, I found the role a very taxing one. I mean, er, Lina has thirty thousand seven hundred and ninety-five words, you see.

Andrea: Really?

Kristie: Oh yes. Heywood’s She’s Not You’s a bugger too, mind you, especially the cleaning up afterwards, but it has twenty-four thousand, seven hundred and sixty-nine words less than Lina. On the other hand, Susan’s included more pauses, eight-seven quite long ones, as I recall. But then they're not so tricky, you see. You don't have to do so much during them.

Andrea: You don't?

Kristie: No. No, not really. And they give you time to think what sort of face you're going to pull during the next speech so that it fits the words you're saying as far as possible.

Andrea: How many words did you have to say as Roberta Cabot’s Danny at the Lincoln Center in '09?

Kristie: Ah, well, I don't want you to get the impression it's just a question of the number of words... um... I mean, getting them in the right order is just as important. Laika Pupkino used to say to me, 'They're all there, Kristie, now we've got to get them in the right order.' And, er, for example, you can also say one word louder than another--er, ‘As easy as falling off a bike’ or ‘As easy as falling off a bike,' or ‘As easy as falling off a bike,’ you see? And so on.

Andrea: Ah…how you say it.

Kristie: And of course there’s how you say it. In fact, Stephanie’s Riding saga has relatively short chapters, but the real difficulty with Annie is that you've got to play her all, you know, fiddles and dobros and motorcycles, 'cause she's musical, you know, and then there's that heartrending scene when she goes right off her nut, you know, ‘Oh, and I suppose you’ll be wanting an encore and me wantin’ a snog from me hubby' and all that, which takes it out of you, what with having the Kevlar vest to keep on. So Annie is tiring, although not difficult to act, because you've only got to do a bit of weeping and a bit of anger, and they're the easiest.

Andrea: Are they? What are the hardest?

Kristie: Oh... um, Glee â„¢, of course…so odd and off putting to do a good mood in a TG tragedy…mutually exclusive, you know.

Andrea: Glee â„¢?

Kristie: Mmm, yes, never been able to get that, can't do the mouth. I look all put out and awkward. It's a very fine line.

Andrea: What else?

Kristie: Well, there’s that ‘Can do’ attitude that Randalynn’s Tommy has, but no one I know wants to act out the boy part…so bland…all flannel and denim. And of course there’s the weeping wonder, Zoe Taylor. My god, can her girls cry, and it’s so arduous…we had to hose down the cast between acts because they were completely dehydrated from all the sobbing!

Andrea: So crying is difficult…go on…

Kristie: Apart from a cry-fest? Er, sultry can be tricky, but for me, the most difficult is being in love, you know, that open-mouthed, vacant look that Bailey Summer’s got off to a tee. Can't do that at all. And also I'm frightfully awkward when I try that ecstatic expression, you know? Which is really too bad, because that Jenna thing from Bridges is so good. Only about thirty-three hundred words on average per episode with a lot of cuddling and kissing.

Andrea: Lady Kristie, Sacro fottere, Si?

Kristie: I've enjoyed it.

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