My Super Secret Life-8
Withdraw completely sucks. Especially getting off of smack. There’s these shooting pains that come out of your guts like a thunder storm and then the pain spreads through your limbs and makes you want to curl up and die.
Then there’s the dreams and the nightmares.
…………….Japan, 1642 A.D…………
I had been eta, an orphan and one of the untouchables, the unclean and a street thief. In those days it was deadly for me. If the real thieves found me stealing then I’d be put to death. Eta is lower than even the Yakuzza bandit clans. I was poorer than a beggar and had been desperate enough to try my poor hand at stealing.
Then I was caught thieving by Lady Atara. She was no true lady that was to be sure but she was a Geisha, a mistress geisha to be swathed in the finest of silks and perfumes and to be so beautiful. She had guards in armor, Bushido fighters, not Samurai but deadly all the same and she had litter bearers carrying her through the streets.
I had tried to steal a comb. It was just lying there on the edge of the cushioning just waiting to fall. Seven inches of white jade. It would have fed me for a year.
She caught my wrist before even touching the comb and with one hand she yanked me into her litter. She poked me a few times and there was pain and there was darkness.
I woke on a boat feeling so strange, there were these smells. I was clean, really clean and dressed in clean clothes as well. I smelled incense and pipe smoke and opened my eyes to see her there lounging and smoking watching me.
“You are Eta, and you would dare steal from me?”
I was very tired of being nothing, most cannot bother to be angry at this just ground down to the lives of the foulest and worst jobs that life would dole out. I sat up to my knees respectfully sitting but raised my chin to her daring her to do her worst. I say nothing.
“I see that you do. There is fire in your heart young lady, strength there that you do not yet know.”
She threw a thing at me hard and right at my head and…and I caught it. It hurt, it hurt like I bruised the bones in my hand but I don’t yell out, I don’t flinch and I don’t drop it. It feels like lead a ball of it about three inches wide and as hard as she threw it at me she would have killed me or made me into an idiot.
I set it on the floor of the boat and meet her eyes. She raises her eyebrow, her right one.
“There’s more there than I thought, good. Tell me child what do you know of the Eta called the Shinobi?”
“Assassins, a myth I think lady. The emperor would never allow the existence of such a force of people to exist; they would be beyond his power to control.”
Wind whistles past me blowing back the hair on either side of my face. Those hairs that moved fall to the floor sliced by something incredibly sharp that I never seen coming. I can’t help but turn to look at the two kunai stuck into the wall behind me.
I turn and she has her hand cupping my chin. Staring at me, staring into me with these intense nearly black eyes. I can feel this energy this shaking of the world between us like nothing I had ever known. It was like waves of heat but not. This was something else entirely.
“You are Eta, You are Shinobi Kai.”
“How do you know my name?” I barely get it out, I want to pull away from her but I can’t…It’s like her energy is pinning my down.
“Twenty two years ago the first of the white men came to Japan. His name was William Adams. Soon after him others had followed and with the men of faith and the traders came a very dangerous man. This man had taken the name John Blackthorne. This man was not an ordinary man he is a sorcerer of the blackest arts and it was him and his mercenaries that overcame the defences of your clan and we had thought to kill every man woman and child there.”
She stares at me and I see the remembrance of flames, of cannons so new to us being fired and muskets and screaming. I seen a man kill a horse with a knife and then grab me and slit its body cavity open and stuffed me inside hiding me in the blood and the filth and the death.
I see a man, a white skinned man with a beard that’s trim and long hair in a strange way of being tied back like a woman’s but lower, in black leathers and a hooded cloak, a strange sword in his hand with something like a cup protecting his hand.
I jerk back from her crying. I still see the lingering images of him killing the man who hid me in the horse by throwing lightning from his hand at him before it fades and is replaced with reality.
I screamed. “Papa!” before I even knew that I was doing it and I scramble back from her scared. “Y...You’re a witch!”
“That I am amongst many other things Kai-Lin Tokugawa, last Shinobi of The House of Mizu-Oni. But that does not change who you are.”
“Tokugawa, that’s a noble house…you’re lying…”
“It’s no lie; many of the Shinobi clans were intermarried to the families of the daimyo’s or the shoguns. You are a distant cousin to the First Shogun, Tokugawa-Iyeyasu. He was the man who made contact with the westerners and it was this closeness that led to their murders.”
“Power. Blackthorne is a man of ambition but not like mortal men, he’s a sorcerer, he’s come for our majik as well.”
“But why my kin, my family.”
“The mythical power’s of the great Shinobi clans is not a myth. We are gifted with the lost knowledge of how to use the energies in ourselves and in the world around us in the form of Ki or Chi to do these things. It is a majik he seems he cannot steal or copy and our kind have found him out. Your clan would have seen through his trader and mercenary ruse and told the Shogun. So they were killed.”
“But who are you in all of this?”
“I am Inu-Kagu-Atara, I am or was a long standing rival to your clan but seeing that you are all that remains there would ne no honor in dealing a death to you as you are child. Therefore I have taken it upon myself to try and teach you that you may avenge the spirits of your clan and ancestors on this foreign devil.”
“And after that?”
“We shall fight and see who the victor shall be and settle the conflict of honor between our clans.”
“One of your Kunoichi had enraptured one of our greatest warriors and he had left our clan and an arranged marriage for her.”
“Yes, the secrets he took with him were lost to us and given to her family instead of being carried on through our lines.”
I looked at her and thought long and hard about all of it. “Lady I accept the conditions you have set out before me.”
“Good, otherwise it is a long swim back to Japan.”
“We’re not on Japan?”
“No, we are going to China.”
See really weird dreams. Actually more than dreams. I remember everything crystal clear when I have them and the thing is I’m not me. I’m her.
And it seems I’m stuck this way. Oh I’ve tried everything that I can think of to turn back to being Shane but nothing and it’s so much harder than I ever thought it would be. These fucking female hormones running through me get me so upset over the change, over my/Shane’s old life and all this coping with being a chick stuff.
I hate being an ant.
Oh I am. I’m all of four foot eight and I know I’m under weight but eighty eight lbs is just freaking me out, at the most I might get to around one hundred. I’d pass for a teen girl a young teen girl if it wasn’t for the boobs. I’ve got a set of 22B’s on me and for my build they actually look really big.
Oh yeah getting the looks too isn’t helping me right now either. I’m a little Japanese hottie.
One hundred percent Japanese. My lawyer got me landed immigrant status where if you get to the colonies surface without getting caught then there’s some really old colonial law that lets you stay. I’ve been DNA scanned and I’m a pure blood which they gabbled over because unless you live in a really secluded part of the known galaxy then someone in your lineage had sex with a color other than their own at some point or some degree of that. Not me, no of course not because some majik pearl transformed me into a seventeenth century Japanese girl.
I had no prints, no DNA markers, no retinal scans on New Haven records or those for Intergal the reincarnation of the old earths Interpol. So I was brand spanking new in the system. I was registered as Kai-Lynn Tokugawa and I said I was born in the summer time and that I thought I was seventeen years old. I’m actually older but hey whatever right.
So I’m sort of legal now. I have to go to high school and I have to study and apply for my citizenship stuff. I was born here and I don’t know half the stuff about new have that’s being taught. I’ve got a government check sent to me every two weeks actually it’s a debit card and I stuck going to this school full of rich kids or I will be because they have Compassionate scholarship dorms for “People like me.”
That aside I have gotten clean. It took about a month with the detox drugs and actually sweating a lot of it out. Bored, in the rooms in the rehab I turned back to my martial arts and that led to memories of training and her/me doing different styles. It comes faster and easier if I just turn my head off and got into gym mode.
Bagua Zhang…I know this, it’s kung fu, eight trigrams palm…walking the circle…Tai-Chi Ch’uan …I know this, I wake to wanting to do this, do the forms for this and to center myself and to almost dance with it…Tae Kwon do from this Korean, I was scared and dismissive of him back then....I was taught much of that…Tai-Jutsu and other things…
I fight it sometimes it felt, it feels that these things are taking over my life and I’d throw myself into my styles, American and Thai kickboxing and my Bate Coxa style which is a type of Capoeria.
*** Current day…
I’m shopping for clothes. I’m in Darcy-J’s which is a sort of tween through teens clothing place and I am so lost. The Kai-Lin me hasn’t any more idea about modern girls fashions than I do.
I’m looking and kind of feeling like a bit of a pervert and a spy being here apparently I’m still me enough that I seem to like girls, or like looking at them but what got me freaked is well…. I feel gross and more than freaked out because today my body decided to have its first period or the first one with me in it.
Only of the other girls in the dorm Katya a rescued war child from the latest SSB (Soviet Spacial Bloc) expansion gave me some of her tampons and showed me how to use them…Never have I been more freaked out and more humiliated in my life and of course that had caused me to erupt into tears. It seems a lot of the things that’d set me off don’t not anger wise. I tear up though at the drop of a hat sometimes and this is really bad.
Then there’s the fact that I’m really craving salty sweet and crunchy things…and things that Kai me knows…I’d kill for a fried octopus ball, I’ve never eaten something so disgusting sounding in my life.
And there’s the fact that unless I think about it I don’t know the damn tampon is there and that’s freaking me out. Plus the mess and the smell and…Okay if I don’t stop I’m going to start to cry again.
“That’d look good on you.” I hear this dead sexy mellow voice behind me. I turn and see this drop dead gorgeous blonde there looking through things. I can’t help but drink in the sight of her.
“I…I…Oh…Thank you.” I can’t get the quiet toned sort of sweet Japanese girl complete with accent out of me. I used to speak street with the rest of them but I can’t anymore…it hurts to think how low Shane/me got and how close to being Eta untouchable and unwanted and everything on the streets I’d gotten. I’m not going back to eating rats and garbage, shivering in the cold and wet until my bones ache…
“Are you okay?” she asks, she has this look of actually giving a shit I haven’t seen on the faces of the other girls around here. I must have zoned out again.
“Hai..I am..okay.” I smile and give her a bit of a cute bow. I’ve know idea why but it’s as familiar to me as shaking hands. Actually it does kind of sort of feel the same.
“Good you were looking kind of out there.”
“Hai…yes I was lost in my own head. There are so many decisions and I have no clue to what is what and what is right.”
“Need some help? I just happen to be a professional shopper.”
I look her over and honestly she looks the type. Blonde, really athletic well dressed but not in that over designer way, she actually looks like she’s a lot more grown up and a lot more on the ball that some of the dumb bimbos here. I can’t help but linger over her really perfect breasts and her hint of ab’s showing occasionally from under her short tee.
Oh ow…wow..ow. I feel my nipples get hard like never before and suddenly I can feel the tampon as muscles work and ripple down there.
Between that and the actual need for help I bow. “Hai..thank you, I need help.”
She smiles. Great smile, sexy, sultry, perfect teeth. “Well first off let’s get out of here and to a few places that are a whole lot less expensive, you’re on the scholarship card?”
She smiles. “Great I know a few places that have a government assist tag, that means as part of their tax write off they pay half the cost of your stuff on a registered card. C’mon my car’s outside I’ll drive us.”
Really, I didn’t know that? But then again It’s turning out I don’t know a lot of stuff. I’m really not used to her holding the door open for me as we left the store or opening the car door for me on her little red sports car…it was kind of…Oh damn it I’m blushing! Is this like Les chivalry or something?
She has this bemused look on her face as she gets into the car and then smiles again at me and offers me her hand in a handshake. “Hi, I’m Sunny and you are?”
“Kai-Lin but if you please, call me Shane.”
“Alright Shane, lets take you shopping.”
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