SRU - The Big Mall

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SRU: The Big Mall

Edmonton isnt the first place you think of when you think “tourist destination” But there is one site that brings people from all over the world to see it - The Big Mall. Its real name is West Edmonton Mall, but nobody calls it that. Its always just been - The Big Mall. At one time, it was the biggest in the world, and I think its still in the top three.

I’m not sure if words do it justice, but the place is … HUGE. It has a rollercoaster, an enormous wave pool, a large carnival with rides and games, two food courts, a couple of movie theater complexes …. and of course, shops. Lots of shops. Some seen nowhere else in the city. So I was almost not surprised when a certain magic shop opened up in the mall...

My encounter started quite innocently enough. I was parking my car, and I saw this woman struggling with a bunch of boxes. She wasn’t really well dressed for the weather, at least in terms of her footwear. Her heels were pretty high, and they obviously had no grip, as I could tell even before she slipped and fell.

Being the kind of person I am, I went over, and asked, “You okay? You need help?”

“I’m alright. but I could use a hand.”

I helped her to her feet, and together we gathered her boxes, and headed for the mall entrance.

“You know, most people are taking stuff out of the mall. Are you having to return all this stuff?” I asked.

“No. I got sent on a run for supplies, I have no idea why.” she said.

“Supplies?” You have a new store?”

“You could say that.”

“Cool. Let me help you then.”

“Thanks. Its this way.”

It didn’t take too long until we found ourselves in front of The Store. Spells “R” Us. It was quietly nestled beside a card shop and a outdoor equipment store, and the shoppers were ignoring the heck out of it.

It looked exactly like all the stories describe it, right down to the backwards “R” on the door. I stood in front of it trying to decide if I was dreaming or not until my companion said “Come on. Bring that stuff in.”

I shook my head to clear it, and went in.

“Over here is fine.” she said.

I put the boxes down in front of the till, and then turned, intending to get the heck out of here when I heard His voice.
“No need to leave so quickly, Elizabeth. “ he said.

“So he’s a she?” the girl said.

“Only in my head, sadly.” I said.

She took a look at me and said, “That must suck.”

“It does.”

“I could help you with that.” the Wizard said.

I looked at him. The descriptions of him dont really do him justice. Most stories describe him as looking like a crazy old man in a bathrobe, but I saw something much more than that. In fact he reminded me of ….

“Gandolf? Really?” He said.

“Yeh. Like him, you hide your true power.”

He graced me with a smile.

“So that’s why you sent me out for supplies. To bring her here.” the girl stated.

“Indeed, apprentice.”

“Look. Its nice to meet you and all, but I should get going.”

“Back to a life that’s killing you.” The Wizard said.

“I don’t have a lot of choices.” I said, trying to keep the tears from my eyes.

“You could take advantage of this situation and buy something. You have a pretty good idea how my merchandise tends to work.”

“No. I can’t. If you turn me into a girl, my son would not exist, and no future happiness of mine would be worth that trade.”

“I could give you something to help you with your ex. I know her opposition to your transition is a big reason you haven’t done anything yet.”

“If you did that, she wouldn’t be the individual she is, which would be the same as killing her. Not something I want to be responsible for, even indirectly.”

“Wow. I’ve never seen anybody so unwilling to help themselves.” the girl said.

“You don’t know the half of it, apprentice. This is why I wanted to meet her. Its been a long time since I had someone who poses this much of a challenge.”

“Look. Its not like I dont want to be whole. I just cant hurt anybody in the process. And since I cant figure out how to be whole without hurting people, I just …”

“have decided to hurt yourself, instead.”

I looked at the floor in response.

He came up to me, and put a hand on my shoulder. “What will you do, then, Elizabeth? Go on as you are until you suffer a breakdown, or try to kill yourself, again? How much pain are you willing to live with?”

“I can’t hurt them. I’m sorry. I just can’t Maybe I’m just a coward afraid of change. But I can’t.”

“All right, child. Go in peace.”

I fled the store.

Once I was in the mall proper, I cursed myself as I ran away from the store. Finally, I found a handy bench, and collapsed onto it, and heedless of the crowd around me, I wept openly. How could I have been so foolish? Given a chance to have my dreams come true, I turned it down? And if there had been any negative fallout, I could blame the wizard. It would be his fault, not mine, after all.

I got off the bench, and staggered to my car. It was probably a good thing I don’t live far way, a person shouldn’t drive in the emotional state I was in. But I managed to make it home without killing anybody else. I sat down at my computer to to turn it on, and stopped. Most of the time, when my male life got too much, I’d go to one trans fiction site or another, looking for some escapism into fantasy.

Except it wasn’t fantasy, any more. I had met the Wizard. I’d had been in the SRU store. It was real, and yet when I was given the chance to be my true self, I ran away.

I crawled into bed, and wept until I fell asleep.

It was morning when I woke, and I realized I hadn’t gotten the things I had gone to the mall for in the first place. And since I had only one more day off before I would have to go back to work, I needed to go back and face it.

At that moment, something happened within me.

I changed.

I decided I would go out in public as my real self, for the first time, ever.

I went to my rather pathetic collection of feminine items, and picked out the best I had, and went to the mall. For a moment, I thought I probably looked pretty stupid, but then I realized, I was simply beyond caring anymore.

I went to the mall, and focused on the task at hand, ignoring the other patrons as I went from store to store.

After a while, I realized something. Nobody was pointing at me. Nobody was calling me names. In stores, I got called “Ma’am”, and “Miss”. I started wondering, had the Wizard done something? I finished my shopping, took it to my car, and then went back in, looking for the store.

To my great surprise, it was still there.

I went in, and He was behind the register, and his assistant was straightening up.

“Hay. You clean up nice, as they say.” his assistant said.

“Thanks. Wizard, did you do this?”

“I’m afraid not. This was all you.”

“Say what?”

“Child, a lot of what you call ‘passing’ is about confidence. You didn’t care what anyone thought. With fear out of the way, You could see yourself as an ordinary woman, going about her business, and that’s what others saw.”

“So.... what happens now?”

“Up to you. You could still buy something, if you wanted.”

“No. Now that I know I can go out like this, I think I can do the rest. It’ll take longer, but it’ll cause less damage to the people I love.”

“Then all I can give you is my blessing. Good luck, Elizabeth.”

His apprentice came over, and gave me a hug. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” I said, and left the shop.

I went home, wrapped my Christmas gifts, and prepared for my son’s arrival the next night. Once I was done, I figured I would relax, and find a good fiction story to read.

I logged on, and found I had a pretty full mailbox, and figured I better clean it out first. At the top was a message with no title, so I clicked on it.

It was from the Wizard.

It read; “If you ever decide you need a little help, just say my name. W.”

“Thanks, Wizard. But you’ve already gave me all the help I really needed.” I replied out loud.

The message changed, and said, “As you wish.”

I shook my head. “I’m rather glad I don’t deal with magic every day.” I thought. Then I read the rest of my mail, and decided to hit my bed.

Tomorrow would be another day.

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Comments

Good Story doesn't start to discribe this one...lying kudo box

Once again Dorothy, your storytelling skills humble me. to take one of the greatest practitioners of TG magic and have him as a regular person whilst your main character finds what she needs inside instead of in a simple magic solution was brilliant... having Danni appear as well... and the west Edmonton Mall as well... hmmm time to check the Eaton's center...
Big hugs for a fun ride,
Diana

thank you so much, Diana

I'm humbled by your praise. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Dorothycolleen

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Something New Under the SRU Sun

laika's picture

There's an awful lot of SRU stories I haven't looked at, but I'd be willing to guess this one is unique. I've read SRU tales, and I've read stories were a transwoman rejects a magic fix because of her principles (a couple of excellent ones by Grover come to mind...); but never one that's both. Each of my SPELLS R US tales have been an attempt to stretch the story universe in some way, but where those were gimmicky (SRU: GOTHAM CITY) this was subtle and meaningful. Loved the semi-telepathic dialogue, the richness of the Wizard's unassuming wisdom in this.
~~~hugs, Veronica

thank you, Veronica

going for "unique" was the goal, all right. I'm glad you like it.

Dorothycolleen

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Old and new

I often hear this or that story has been done before. In truth, I think they've all been done. It's mix and matching the old stuff in new ways that's the challenge. You've done that. A SRU story where not one spell is cast? I won't say magic because magic was indeed worked. The kind that comes from within and being true to one's self and beliefs. I've liked a lot of your stuff but this one is heads and tails beyond them. Great!
hugs
Grover

thank you, Grover

high praise indeed. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Dorothycolleen

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Hard decision

I can so understand her decision. I wouldn't really want to deal with the SRU wizard either. Too much identity death, loss of families and bimboization. She loves her family and probably would have lost them.

Horrible decision for her, but the only one that would have been morally right. If I was her I'd try to bargain with the wizard to get a result I can live with. But then I can understand why she would trust him less than an evil genie.

Thank you for writing this captivating story,
Beyogi

making the hard choice

a magic solution seems great, but in this case, she felt like it came at a cost she couldn't afford. I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and thanks for commenting.

Dorothycolleen

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An SRU story without magic

An SRU story without magic O.o you do know how to write the original, creative stuff! ^^

thx for the story!

grtz & hugs,

Sarah xxx

Original stuff?

Well, I'd like to think I do.

Thanks so much Sarah.

Dorothycolleen

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SRU - The Big Mall

Thanks for another Wizard story.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I'm Sorry Dorothy.

WebDeb's picture

Allthough I went out en-femme with the most courage ever I knew at least three people noticed my deception on the public streets.

The most interesting thing was I felt safer in the shops as I purchased clothing the female assistants saw me for who I was but never revealed the male side to others.

Call it professional courtesy perhaps but there is a fairer sex out there somewhere. The fairer sex uses their brain matter and gives you and I a fair chance. Mostly.

3 people out of ou many?

that may not be a high ratio. And did they react negatively? I always assume people know my secret, but are too polite to say anything... As fir clerks, most have the attitude that "a sale is a sale" and are going to treat you accordingly.

Hugs, hon. Keep going out, keep working on it, and never, ever let em see you sweat about it.

Thanks for the comment.

Dorothycolleen

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As You Wish

littlerocksilver's picture

She said the Wizard's name out loud. Does she realize that?

Portia

probably not, Portia

giggles. Could this mean His Wisdom may sneak in a spell into her life without her knowing?

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Wishes

As a reader of Pratchett I have heard that you can't use magic to fix anything important to you or anything that really matters and 3 wishes means the universe really dislikes you this was a demonstration of wisdom rare to see, that being said it would be so tempting to figure out how to set it up so as to get exactly what you wanted without winding up a frog or a toilet seat or a bimbo.

The Trickster

Daphne Xu's picture

Was the apprentice's name, by any chance, Danni? Or did he get a new apprentice, Danni having been graduated to something further?

It's probably for the better that Elizabeth decided to try it her own way, rather than accept the Wizard's offer of aid. It's the harder path, and I probably go against the grain in declaring that the harder path isn't necessarily the better path. (If you've already been trying it for 40 years, continuing is stupid.) However, as she has managed to take one step further than before, there is reason to be optimistic. And dealing with the Wizard might be dealing with a trickster.

One thing I've heard, that I've also experienced. Action often mitigates paralyzing anxiety, albeit temporarily. Unless the action backfires. (I've had both happen.)

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

Another Reading Reminded Me...

Daphne Xu's picture

This repeat reading of the story reminded me of a bit of trivia on IMDB about "Some Like It Hot".

Here, we read a bit of advice that I read quite often about going out en femme: “Child, a lot of what you call ‘passing’ is about confidence. You didn’t care what anyone thought. With fear out of the way, You could see yourself as an ordinary woman, going about her business, and that’s what others saw.”

That bit of advice surprisingly contrasts with this, where it appears that being shy and terrified helps one's posing: "A laughing Curtis explained that he was so scared to be playing a woman (or a man pretending to be one) that his tightly wound body language could be read as demure and shy, traditionally feminine traits, whereas Lemmon, who was completely unbothered, and `ran out of his dressing room screaming like the Queen of the May,' kept much more of his masculine body language."

To tell the truth, I can see a difference. This was a movie, so everyone was acting appropriately. In the real world, acting shy, terrified, and as if you didn't belong will gain you attention. Acting confidently, as if you belonged here just as you are, gets you less attention and more accepted even if they spot you as male. Also, demure feminine behavior isn't common womanly behavior these days -- definitely a change for the better.

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

Definitely

Daphne Xu's picture

That is definitely the case, when going out.

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

Awesome!

RobertaME's picture

I absolutely love this story! So often in TG fiction that involves magic we get the same thing over and over again... "If only I was a real girl, my life would be perfect!" or "If only my wife would accept me as I am..." and then poof! Everything is wonderful!

It's an easy trap to fall into. I know that many times over the years I've wondered, "What if I'd done this when I had the chance? What would have happened if I'd told my mother the truth when she caught me with my sister's clothes in my drawers when I was 13?" The truth is that even if I could go back and change my life, I wouldn't. I like me and all that crappy stuff that happened to me when I was little made me who I am now.

We are all limited beings. We cannot see all ends. Who's to say that the path that we think is better actually is? I mean, even if my mother was totally accepting of me and found some way to let me live as a girl back in the mid 80s, I would never have met my first co-wife... which means that our two boys wouldn't exist... which would be worse than death... worse than torture... worse than never even existing. Worst of all, I wouldn't even miss them... because I would never have even known they were even possible... and that would be a fate much worse than death.

Excellent story, Dorothy! Thank you for writing it!

you caught the point perfectly

I'm in the same place, if my life had gone any differently, I wouldn't have Sam, and that's not a trade I would take.

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