Dainéal’s Dream

an Cinneadh (the Decision)

Consider the flowers of the field
In their beauty
More lovely than even the clothes of a king
Consider the birds of the air
Flying high, flying free
You are precious to me

Where your treasure is
There is your heart

Somewhere in time...

While she did have a restful sleep, Seonaid’s waking was oddly troubled. She felt beset by aches and pains of a mere but still annoying degree. As she sat up, she realized why her body felt so odd. As her eyes cleared from the night’s rest she saw that she was surrounded… well at least among two pretty young ladies dressed in gossamer gowns of green and gold. And they stood proud and tall at nearly two feet. She looked at them and saw that they were poking her with small sticks.

“G’mornin’ to ye, daughter,” the fairer of the two said with a big grin and giggle, matched almost immediately by her companion.

“We are here to help you, child.” The words set her back a bit since the lady speaking looked no older than her, but she was much, much older. Seonaid remembered a story from her childhood…that other lifetime…where her mother wove a wondrous tale of fairies; the girl had met their Queen and seen her entourage of a kind, but these two? Could they be?

“Rise, oh child, and face the day. I am Shaylee, Princess of these fields, and this is my kin, Eolande, Queen of the Violets…those lovely flowers that adorn your hair.” She giggled again, which made no sense until the girl touched her hair and found a garland of flowers on her head…a garland of violets.

“Are you here to help me make my choice?” Seonaid said with excitement and hope. The two shook their heads in unison and spoke, almost as one.

“Nae, we are not, but we are charged with holding you near as you do. We shall either be your friends here or your escorts there, but either way, it is with us you shall be strengthened as you come to know that you shall never be alone in your life, no matter where you stand. Here or there, you shall have comfort and company.” It was almost like a song that the two sang in one voice of one mind. Seonaid shook her head in puzzlement, wanting to believe that what they said was true and fearful that it wasn’t.

“Do not let your heart be troubled, dear one. You are loved, both by your creator and by creations of his whom you have met or shall meet. It is up to you to decide, and the creator has all confidence that you shall make a good choice.

“I hope so….I pray it will be so….” She put her head down and began to cry softly; almost in prayer. Shaylee and Eolande stepped closer and seemed to grow until their shadows covered the girl like a blanket.

“Rest in that hope and pray in that trust, child. Be blessed.” The two said softly and Seonaid seemed to fall into a dream where her own choices called to her.

And she prayed.

Where your treasure is
There is your heart

* * * * *

The girl seemed to wake as from dream, but she was not alone, and she realized that the fairies had been holding her hand the entire time. She took a deep breath and stood up, smoothing the skirt of her gown and pulling her sleeves down to past her wrists.

“I….I have decided.” She smiled nervously; barely confident in her own heart for the choice she was about to make other than what strength that the two and Meadhbh had imparted. The two had diminished in size and stood no taller than her knee, but still displayed imposing figures. She turned as if to walk somewhere without knowing and beheld the Queen once again, her arms open in welcome. She rushed to Meadhbh who gathered her in her arms in a warm embrace.

“I’m scared, your highness….I am so afraid.” She began to sob, her face etched with grief over what she had to do.

“None would be real and alive if they be not scared, child. You have made your choice?” She really had no power to read minds, but read faces she did, knowing the heart may hide the eyes often betray.

“I…I don’t want to do this….it isn’t fair, and yet…..I must do this…it IS what I’ve been called to do.” She looked around as if some way of exit would present itself.

“There is no fair or unfair, child; all that is exists at the pleasure of the creator, and it merely is what it is. But there is a measure of balance you will find when you enter into your choice; ways that you will find that may make the unfair seem small in light of what and whom may benefit from what you are about to do.” Meadhbh bowed her head and spoke silently while her hand rested on the girl’s head. Tears fell from her face, gracing the ground with the essence of her kindness. Seonaid looked up into her eyes and saw peace, not only in the Queen, but also for the sake of her as well.

“I’m so afraid of what….I’ll become…what I will be!” She looked down at her feet and shook her head; anticipating what she feared with a surprising calm.

“You will find that what you know to be true may not always be so or may never have been true at all.”

“Will you hold my hand….I am so afraid. Will I succeed….What if I fail; what will I do?”

“Dear one, know that whatever you have on the other side will not be in vain, no matter what happens, in any case. Know that you are blessed, and that you will find your challenges great but ne’er so great as to overcome you.” Meadhbh placed both of her hands in the girl’s hands and smiled a knowing and even approving smile. It was true that no matter what choice she made would bring no condemnation, the girl’s heart had be placed in the balance, and had been found in approval.

“Hold me?” Seonaid began to shake; almost a shiver of cold as she looked at the Queen, who seemed to fade. And then she realized that it was not the Queen, but she herself who was becoming almost transparent as her body continued to shake; growing in intensity as she looked over at Meadhbh, who smiled and nodded; a look that she had beheld only once In her lifetime as she remembered the day she was …he was born.

1958 somewhere out to sea...

Da stood up, using Liam’s good arm to steady himself. He looked over Má¡irtá­n’s shoulder onto the calm but treacherous sea and he began to shake in utter grief as his tears overtook him. Liam pulled Da into a hug and squeezed his neck hard, kneading it as if to comfort a child. Má¡irtá­n looked at the two and smiled even as the tears streamed from his face. He sighed deeply and began to cry softly, his sobs almost silent. And the near-silence proved to be a good thing. He heard a splash and turned to look in the direction of the sound. A moment later a figure emerged from the foam and he realized his eyes were not playing tricks.

Knowing that he had no time to waste, he dove off the railing and swam toward the struggling form. As he drew closer, his tears turned to joy when he realized he was swimming toward his brother Dainéal.

“Da….Liam…throw me a rope…. quick,” Má¡irtá­n called out and the two looked over the rail in wonder at the sight. A moment later the two pulled both brothers close to the boat and lifted Dainéal up and onto the deck. Ignoring his own cold, seconds later Liam had retrieved three blankets and had covered his brothers and his Da.

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the sea has given up its own…..” Da was almost carried away until he realized two things. The scene would never have occurred in the first place if he had not given into weakness and shamed the boy and urged the brothers on; no need to rescue if he had been the father he should have been. All in a few seconds remorse and shame overtook him and he grabbed the boy. Dainéal winced, expecting an angry rebuke, but Da fell at his feet and wept. The two brothers stepped to the pair and fell to their knees and joined their father. The boy saw the look on their faces and shook his head in amazement; for the first time in his life he was absolutely and utterly convinced that his father and his brothers did care.

And one other thing, when the weeping had died down. Da looked Liam straight in the face and shook his head, using his eyes to direct the young man’s attention to the sea beyond. Liam’s eyes widened in awe and even a quiet fear as the two realized that Dainéal had been in the water….and under it…for over an hour.

“Fianne….Ma, me old gael….yer men are home!” Da said as he opened the door to the home and walked in. He was greeted, not by the neighbor girl charged with Ma’s care, but Caitlyn, their other neighbor’s girl from down the street.

“I’m sorry Da á³ Murchadha…Moira isn’t here…I din know where she’s at. The doc is in wit yer wife. She’s….I’m so sorry….”

He didn’t wait for his sons, but instead rushed into the bedroom to find the doctor and the parish priest at the bedside. Doctor á³ Néill was just putting his stethoscope away and turned to face Da, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, Eamonn, but she took a turn for the worse….She hasn’t got much time.” Da stepped past the man and knelt at his wife’s bedside and put his hand in hers.

“Now don’t you go leavin’ me, old gael…not before I tell you what happened.” He wasn’t going to alarm her; he had to tell her about the change in him and her sons. She smiled weakly at him and stroked his hair. He fought back tears.

“Oh, none of that, Eamonn á³ Murchadha. Meadhbh herself, bless Mary, came to me in a dream. She said that my boys were going to be good men! And that my man was a good man. Aye, like Simeon, I can depart in peace.” She cried, not for herself, but for the grief she beheld in the face of the only man she had ever known; known since they were children. He struggled to compose himself as Liam and Má¡irtá­n and Dainéal rushed into the room. Liam took his hat off and looked at the frail figure of his mother and burst into tears; crying for the first time since he had fallen off his bike when he was seven. Má¡irtá­n wept without a sound, the tears streaming off his face as he held his mother’s hand. And finally the boy….the baby of the family in a way, Dainéal shook his head.

“Come close…all of you.” The four crowded close around her as she spoke almost inaudibly.

“Take care of each other, aye? I love you all…each and every one of you; you are my heart and my life.” She raised her hand weakly and beckoned them close as they kissed her and she kissed them in return. Dainéal looked into his mother’s eyes and saw that she was at peace for the first time in so long and in spite of the heartache he felt, he nodded to her almost as if to tell her that he knew she’d be alright.

“Alright, my boys….away wit ye while I talk wit yer Da.” One by one, the sons slowly left the room; the last was Dainéal, who saw his mother wink at him as he closed the door, leaving his mother and father.

A few minutes later, the door opened and their father emerged, red eyed and spent. Liam looked at him and shook his head, hoping that his mother was merely resting. She had entered a rest, but it was not one of this world as his father returned his look with a tearful smile and a simple “no….” Liam and Má¡irtá­n kissed their father and went into the bedroom, but Dainéal pulled away from their hands and ran out of the house.

The boy stood alone at the edge of the flower garden his mother had so carefully tended when she had been well. It had nearly gone to seed save for a few stray daisies and several weeds that seemed to bow in the moonlight. He looked at his hands and down at his body. He had done what he had to do; he had said goodbye to his mother, seeing her off as a good son should. The irony of the moment seemed to mock him, as he continued to look down at the body of the boy he was. He had given up hope and a chance at true happiness for a moment of obedience that made no sense at all, and it was too much. He had lost himself….herself, really, and he had lost his mother in one day, and he fell to the ground and wept.

And she cried so hard that she fell asleep right there in the garden; amidst the daisies and the dandelions…..and one small violet.

If a son asks his father on earth
For fish or for bread
Who among you would give him
A snake or a stone
How much more does the Father above
Have a heart full of love
For the children that He calls His own

Next: A Thaisce (My Treasure)

Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May
1909 by John Willam Waterhouse

Treasure
words and music by the performers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMppT0MdWMg