A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 8

I looked at myself in the full length mirror standing with tear filled eyes. Mascara runs on my face and hair still styled in a pony tail and so I took out the hair band to let my hair fall. I brushed it out again with a centre parting and looking at it I decided that I would let Fran shape and style it. I wanted to see if the girl that i could now see in the mirror could go one step further to look even more convincing.

Unfortunately right now I looked washed out as if I needed a good meal or some fresh air and exercise to bring some colour to my cheeks. In truth I had not been too energetic recently other than doing chores around the house and I didn’t go out much.

I had days where I hardly ate anything so my weight had dropped. Also these days at dinner I was only eating half the quantity of food that I used to eat when I was first married and I didn’t drink alcohol or fizzy drinks anymore. This was better for Helen who did a lot of entertaining so I often did the driving or dropped her at restaurants and collected her later if it was a serious meeting.

One of her male colleagues tended to dote on Helen and he had a habit of poking fun at me that I chose to ignore to avoid embarrassment. One of Helens Managers had commented that I am lucky to be so slim and that she wished she had my hips. I’d never felt lucky at all because I was always teased and considered to be a whimp.

All this entertaining did mean that Helen was gaining weight but her exercise programme seemed to be working so she was still quite trim. No wonder I could fit into her jeans these days since she’d taken several inches from her bottom region. I thought I might look through a bag full of clothes that she’d discarded for a collection by a Charity shop. My wardrobe was limited and I reckoned it wouldn’t harm if I wore her trousers and leggings around the house. I thought Fran might encourage me as well if I told her.

The bag was in the bottom of her wardrobe and I couldn't resist taking a quick look through the items. I wanted to keep them all and looked forward to try each item because today whilst out in town shopping I’d felt different whilst dressed in Helens clothes.

I’d been very pleased with my appearance, especially after applying some make-up to bring colour to my face. I stared at the person in the mirror. With more flesh around the bust area this would be a woman for sure.

I dropped the towel to look at myself. I had so enjoyed the experience today and I wanted more. But could I face Helen and tell her what I'd done and how I'd felt? I wished she would give me time to myself and let me have the chance to explore this experience a little more.

I stroked my hips and bum to feel the soft skin that was already almost hairless after shaving. I felt I would like to remove the last traces of hair from beneath my arms and on my forearms and I should tidy up my legs. Even with some hair I looked more like a woman than a man.

I flexed my arms and at least then I had some muscle definition. I suppose with regular work outs I could make myself look more like the person that married Helen. Maybe then I’d be more confident in myself and improve my chances of getting a job.

But on the other hand I’d had an offer to help Fran and I didn’t want to let her down. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything to Helen for a while and see how things developed. Something might crop up if I kept checking the internet sites. I only needed to find a way to keep Helen off my back.

I was startled by a call from Helen that shocked me into picking up the towel and covering myself. I How girly was that reaction. I said ‘I’m OK now I’m coming.’

I wrapped the towel around me and went to the bedroom to find some clean jogger bottoms and a sweatshirt that I liked to wear. The sweatshirt was a bit big for me these days but I guess that I liked it because it was somehow neither masculine or feminine and it was so soft and comfortable to lounge around in.

It was strange that I decided to wear a pair of tight underpants beneath the jogger bottoms that seemed more hygienic. I put on a pair of mules and decided to let Helen see me as I liked to dress when she is not around. A little bit more female than male at first glance. I wanted to go further but the time wasn't quite right.

Helen came upstairs after she heard I was moving around and she enterered the room and stood and looked at me before sitting on the bed.

‘Robyn, you have been acting strangely all day. What’s going on?’

‘What do you mean? Nothing is going on. It’s just that you irritated me and you disappeared to work and no message or anything. Don’t you feel you should have apologised.’

‘No. I told the truth. You have to wake up and be more positive about yourself. Look at you. Not only have you lost your drive and confidence but you look more and more effeminate every day. Are you gay or what?’

‘’How dare you say that. You know I’m not gay. Why say such a thing?’

‘Well you look more like a girl these days and you act like one. You’ve lost weight and I’m sorry if it offends you but I thought it was a woman in front of me when I entered the room. Also it’s a while since we made love together so are you sure that you are OK? I’m your wife afterall so if you have any problems I hope you’d be truthful to me.’

‘Helen I am sorry. I know I haven’t been the same man that you married but you’ve changed too. Everything has gone right for you but I feel like I’m in a downwards spiral.’

‘Robyn I can help you but you have to also help yourself. Are you jealous of my success or what?’

‘Yes a bit. But no not really. In fact I suppose the truth is that I’m very proud of you. I guess your confidence has grown and your lifestyle has changed. So I am living in your shadow these days.’

‘Well I can’t stop myself at the moment. My career is important to me and the more challenges that come along the thirstier I become for more.’

‘Helen please don’t misunderstand. I don’t want to hold you back at all. But please accept that I am different and that I don’t have your confidence or ability to manage people.’

‘Robyn look let’s get this sorted out and make a plan together. Otherwise I fear we’ll grow further apart.’

‘OK.’

‘Look do you mind if we finish our chat in bed because I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow I’m going on a business trip for a few days since we have a Sales Convention.’

‘Why didn’t you say that you were going away? That’s part of the problem I seem to be the last to know.’

‘OK,OK Robyn I should have told you last week but the truth is I only just decided today. I promise that I’ll let you have more notice in future. Trust me.’ I promise that we’ll find time.’

‘Helen there you go again. You do take me for granted.’

‘Look I promise that we’ll find time. Perhaps we can go somewhere for a couple of days to work things out.’

I didn’t feel too much like carrying on the conversation so I went downstairs to tidy up and turn out the lights whilst Helen used the bathroom. She was already in bed when I entered the bedroom to change into my sleeping shorts and T shirt.

As I changed I felt Helen looking at me. ‘Robyn why don’t we cuddle up for our chat. Since I’m away for a few days after tonight it’s your chance to be a man and I’m feeling a little bit horny watching you change.’

‘I thought about what Fran had said so I deliberately sprayed some of Helens cologne on my chest and plucked up the courage to say that maybe tonight she should fulfill her promise and show me how to behave like a man.

It was like flicking a switch. Helen threw back the duvee to entice me into bed and there she was completely naked.
‘Helen I’m not sure I’m ready.’

‘Come on Robyn turn off your light and we’ll make love by moonlight if you draw back the curtains. I’m sure that you will be fine. I will help you if you like. I can make love to you for a change. You do look sweet and you selected my favorite cologne. Will you join me Ms Robyn?’

‘OK.’

‘wait a minute why don’t you undress and slip on my nighty. Here I’m sure you will like the feel of the material. I certainly will.’

As I removed my T shirt I felt a tingling like never before in my shorts and Helen just winked and whispered ‘Come on before you get too excited and have an accident. I think we’ve found your magic button’.

I turned off the bedside light and Helen took my hand and drew me into her open arms and her warm bosoms.

What to do?

To be continued………………