Special Girl

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Audience Rating: 

Publication: 

Genre: 

Character Age: 

TG Themes: 

Permission: 



Special Girl


The Conigliaro home, Long Valley, New Jersey...

“You can’t be serious?” Phil tossed his paper aside and stared at his wife. Jaclyn tried to smile but she was too frustrated over her husband’s determination to be obtuse.

“Dear god in heaven, Phil, would you just read the report?” She pushed the paper across the breakfast table at him.

“What does a so-called expert know about our son that we don’t, Jacki? I just don’t understand.” His tone softened, and the kind-hearted man she had married seemed to peek through the huge wall of defense he had erected.

“You know as much as any parent, Phil…It’s not about what we know, but what we don’t know. What maybe we never knew?”

“How can she possible know what’s best for him? He can’t even know…Come on, Jacki…you know he can’t.”

“I only know what he…what I was told. And Dr. Martel says that the longer we wait to address this, the harder it will be for h…” She paused in the middle of the word; pronouns seemed too fluid any more.

“I know this is hard, Phil, but for everyone’s sake we have to make a decision…” Jacki turned and looked down the hall, expecting to see their child. Kenny hadn’t returned from school, and his sister Maureen was off to her girlfriend's after lacrosse practice, however, so the hallway was empty.

“Listen…I knew Dr. Martel would be….I know she’s a good doctor, but this is our son we’re talking about, hon. I don’t want to make any mistakes.”

“Would you just listen? We can’t go through life, and we can’t protect Mo or Kenny…we can’t protect them from any mistakes.” Jacki put her hand on Phil’s arm and patted it gently.

“What about the big one?” He pursed his lips and shook his head slightly.

“No, Phil…I’m not going there…we…we didn’t make any mistake. Look at him, honey, please?” She said it as if Kenny was standing at the table.

It was hard enough to begin with; what could make things any worse than they already were? But it wasn’t a matter of better or worse so much as a matter of easy versus painfully but wonderfully rewarding and difficult to think that their son was much different than either of them had ever dreamed of or hoped. Different had gained a completely new meaning to a family used to difference. Just then the front door opened and they heard Kenny walking down the hall with his best friend Louise Bevaqua.

“Oh, hi Louise. Good to see you,” Jacki said as the girl laid her backpack by the doorway to the kitchen.

“Staying for dinner? I’ve got sweet sausage with peppers and onions and potatoes in the oven.” Phil said, pointing to the kitchen. She nodded.

“Oh, yeah, Mr. C. We were countin’ on it!” The girl laughed. Kenny looked at her and smiled.

“Can we…” Kenny began to repeat his daily question. Jacki nodded and smiled.

“Okay, but you know the rules. You have to go first, and you come back here while Louise gets dressed.”

“Okay, mom.” He kissed Jacki on the cheek before running down the hall to his room.

“My mom read that book you gave her…the one by that Alice lady.” Louise breathed out a sigh, but smiled.

“I think she understands, but she’s got some questions for you. She said to give her a call about lunch tomorrow or Wednesday, okay?”

“I’ll give her a call and let her know she’s invited for dinner…just give me a couple of minutes, okay? You can tell her you’re staying for dinner and then give me the phone.” Jacki said. Phil smiled and breathed out a heavy breath.

“I just wish everybody was as understanding as her. But we’ve been dealing with this in a way since he was born.”

“Since who was born?” The voice came from over Phil’s shoulder. He turned to see a girl standing in the archway between the hallway and the living room. She was about five-foot three; she had been asking her mother about heels for the past month, but they decided it was too soon. Her round face and almond shaped eyes were set off nicely by the biggest smile anyone would ever want to see.

“Since Kenny…was born.” Phil put his head down, almost ashamed of talking about his son, but the girl put her hand on his shoulder.

“Daddy…I know….I’m….sorry.” It was all Phil could do to keep from crying; this time not from embarrassment but from sadness over his behavior.

“It’s okay…honey. You have nothing to be sorry about. Along with Mo’s birthday, Kenny’s birthday is the best day in the year in this house, okay?” He touched the girl’s cheek tentatively.

“I’m sorry you feel bad. You’re just fine, honey.” He pulled the girl closer and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Dr. Martel sent her report over today, Kay. She says that we should bring you in for another appointment.” Jacki said almost in a whisper.

“It’s okay, Mrs. C,” Louise said as she came up and stood next to the girl at the table.

“Kay already told me about her doctor’s visit. My mom says that’s what they do for kids like her.” The words ‘kids like her’ had been almost a staple of sorts in the Conigliaro household, but this time in this context it was something entirely different.

“Well, you’re right. I guess we’re just going to have to see. Why don’t we call your mom, okay?” Louise nodded and they walked over to the couch and grabbed a phone. Kay turned to Phil and shook her head.

“I’m sorry I’m so much trouble, Daddy. Did god hate me?” She looked down at herself. She was dressed in a blue blazer and skirt; a near duplicate of Louise’ outfit. She shook her head and tears began to spill on the dining room carpet.

“No….Ke…no Kay. God doesn’t hate you at all. Remember what I said?” Phil pointed to his left eye; too little oxygen at birth had resulted in blindness in that eye. Kay nodded, but continued to cry softly. Phil grabbed her hand and squeezed gently.

“You’re just who you are, honey. No more, no less. Okay?” His smile seemed to brighten her spirits.

“Connie is coming over for dinner, too, Phil. I’m going to run out to Kings. You can set the table before you forget, okay, honey?” Jacki said, looking at Kay. The girl put her head down.

“I’ll go change back, Mommy.” The girl said with a frown. She went to walk down the hallway but Jacki grabbed her arm.

“No, honey…you don’t have to. I think it’s a good time for Mrs. Bevaqua to meet you, alright?”

“You mean I don’t have to be Kenny?”

“No, honey…you don’t have to be Kenny.” Jacki sighed and her shoulders lifted ever so slightly as tears came to her eyes. The girl went into the kitchen and started getting dinnerware together to set the table. She was humming a Taylor Swift song…Jacki smiled before grabbing the keys the car. As she walked down the hallway, she spoke softly to herself.

“You don’t have to be Kenny anymore.” She bit her lip and choked back a sob; a bittersweet moment of farewell and greeting as she opened the door as tears streamed down her face; all good tears, she knew.

“I don’t think you ever were.”

roisin deburca.jpg

for my cousin Susan May

up
82 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

thank you Drea

I am sitting here thinking back to my own childhood but all that happens is I go into tears as i remember the nasty way that i was treated for just wanting to be me.

HugsRonnie:(

ROO

Happier then many

Dear Andrea:

This is a happier story with a positive ending then some you have posted before. A family trying to cope as best it can for their child's sake. Those darn pronouns.

RAMI

RAMI

Thank you 'Drea,

That last line says it all,"I don't think you ever were."
How many of us does that apply to in our lives?

ALISON

Touching, as always.

The best authors write what they know.
Drea, when you write these vignettes, the realism is so deep
it seems like you're showing us a page from your diary.
.
.
Choker.JPG
The girl in me. She never wanted to be Kenny either.

Sorta...

Note: This is my personal opinion, and likely does conflict with what others here believe...

Perhaps the child doesn't have to dress like and be called "Kenny" but the years spent pretending to BE Kenny are still part of her and always will be. We have to be COMPLETE people. Denying the part of our lives prior to transition doesn't make us better, it's like cutting off an arm or a leg. It IS part of who we are. Oh, we may not like it. We may wish things had been different. But, we did live through it.
----------------

Is it surprising that the parents are not finding things easy? Far from it. I suspect that any LOVING parent would find it difficult to realize that their child isn't who they thought they were (same is true for siblings, parents, etc.). I know MY parents are not "enjoying" dealing with the idea of my upcoming transition.

That they have supportive friends - that's really not surprising given how caring the parents appear to be in this story. From what I've seen - caring people have caring friends. Those who are more belligerent, demanding, violent tend to have kids that work that way - and run into more issues with those around them almost as if there's some sort of karma involved. I dunno. I really don't.

I did find the story fascinating. I think a conversation like this - between caring parents - is far more likely TODAY than it would have been forty years ago - when I was a young teen.

Thank you,
Annette

You know it's funny, because I never really looked at myself

as anything but a female living inside a body that had a birth defect. Whether that was a "special" girl, a "trans" girl, a pretend? ... No! Pretend it never was. Even though aunt Caroline and her family were friends of my mother's, they accepted me as though I were their very own. My birth mother never did. In My 63 years I have lived with my birth mother for a total of 6 years. She never raised me ... to each other we were simply "related". But between the ages of 10 and 12½ my birth mother made my life hell.

This story is very sweet, and I can understand the father's confusion, denial, sadness and then acceptance of his new daughter.

I think it is very important for parents to know just how their children are going to live their lives. We generally know who we are by age 3, and by age 10 we know that is who we are for the rest of our lives, regardless of what we know or don't know. One thing at that age we do know, though. We know who we are.

This is a wonderful story of family bonding, friendship, understanding and finally, acceptance. Thank you for sharing, Drea.

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

A Special, Special Girl

littlerocksilver's picture

I realized there was more to this special girl than what first seemed to be. There were things about the discussion that implied far more. The picture at the end confirmed it for me, or at least I thought it did. The child has Downe's Syndrome (Confirmed by PM). I'm not sure that this subject has been addressed on this site before. Why can't a developmentally challenged child be transgendered, too. With all the other problems one has to deal with with a 'special child', it might be very easy to overlook the fact the child is transgendered. It would be very easy to just attribute such an affection to another aspect of a mental disability.

'Drea, you brought up something that is far too easy to ignore.

Thank you for opening my eyes.

Portia

Down's Syndrome

I missed that, but after seeing Portia's comment, a quick peek at the photo made it obvious.
(C'mon Lora you ditz, how could you have missed that!)

In that light, this amazing little tale is even more beautiful. Wow, Drea.

I saw and...

I saw, and didn't see it as worth commenting. Why? Probably because I know so many people with Downs, Autism (Spectrum) and other semi-related "conditions" (I don't like to use the word disorder or syndrome. But that's just me.)

But, you are right, a parent so focused on the Downs - having to add in gender identity issues is probably a really large hurdle, and that truly never occurred to me... Sort of getting a second punch in the belly/knock side the head to wake up. At least with the Downs kids I've known - their families knew about it really early on... Years sooner than gender issues would likely appear. Looking back at the story, that does seem to come out. The stumble when they found out she had downs... The dad throwing himself into his work... And then his daughter pulling him back to humanity. (Almost every downs kid I've know have been amazingly loving...)

To be honest - the photo didn't cry out "Downs" to me. And, it still doesn't.

Annette

A special story for a Special Girl...

Ole Ulfson's picture

Just when we think we have problems, you humble us, and we say a prayer for those with more problems still.

Bless you Andrea,

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!

Loved The Story

joannebarbarella's picture

The title sorta put me off, on account of the negative connotations that "Special Girl" evokes in me,

Joanne