Hilbili Luv n da Cumptr Aag

Hilbili Luv n da Cumptr Aag

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*****

Jun 10 9pm

Jerry Lee, u wont b leav wat ah dun 2 nite! Ah savd a qut gurl! She wer gona jump offa da brige 2 da rode rite n front o 1 o dem big dubl lung truks dat runs ona inrstaat! She wer stanyn ona wal dang neer da midl but ah run up n grabd er b4 she culd jump. She wer kryn n strugld a bit at furst but den hugd me sobyn er hart out. Da drez she wer waryn wer ript n bludy. Sum dum ass dun beet er up! Wen she wer dun kryn, ah axt who dun it 2 er. Sayd it wer er steppa! Ah tol er 2 call da sharf but she wont. She sayd she wont go bak hom eeder. Wen she tryd 2 get awae frum me ah held er tite n kizd er rite ona lips! It wer mah first kiz n ah got a bonr! Ah maid shur not 2 let er see it! N e wae ah tol er 2 cum hom wit me n she dun it!

Ma wer pisd off at wat er steppa dun 2 er but unerstud y she din wan da sharf involvd. Ma sen me off to mah rum wile she help da gurl cleen up. Ah’m rityn dis wile dey ina bathrom. Ah hoeps ah get sum tym aloan wit da qut gurl tomora. Ahl wryt u den n tel u wat hapnd.

Ur fren,
Jim Bob

*****

Jun 10 10pm

Jim Bob, u is sew luky! Ah wish ah culd fin a qut gurl 2 bring hom.

Hay, u here wat hapn 2 ol man York? Sumbodee dun shot im ded! Dey thin Billy Joe dun it cauz no 1 sene im sinz den. Ah wont blam Billy Joe 1 bit on acont of how ol man York whupd im al da tyme sinz is ma dyd. Ah thin sum 1 shot ol man York n dun taak Billy Joe caus der no way he evr gots duh guts 2 kil n e 1. Sherf got lots o folk lukyn fer Billy Joe but ah dont thin dey evr fyne im.

Kepe me postd ona qut gurl you fond. Dew u no er naam? She sond mity gud.

Ur fren
Jerry Lee

*****

Jun 11 9pm

Jerry Lee, ah din no da gurls naam til dis aftrnon but she b reel qut! She wer helpn ma wit brekfst wen ah cum down dis mornin. She wer waryn 1 a Marys ol drezs. She b lukyn gud init, betrn Mary evn tho she not got mutch up top yet. She wer 2 mbarasd bout how ah dun savd er 2 evn luk at me. Da litl bit ah seen o her faz wer blak an bloo frum da beetin she got. Ma cend me out ta dew mah chores rite afta brekfst n tol me not to cum bak til dinr. Ah ner got a chans 2 evn fin out er naam!

Wen ah cum n fur dinr, da gurl stil wont lok at me. She n ma seam 2 b hitn it off tho. Ah guez ma mizes havn a gurl aroun sinz Mary dun got hitchd. Ah did fin out er naam b Sally Jo. Ah reckn Ma figurs ahl try 2 jump Sally Jo ifn ah got a chans. Ahd do it 2! N e wae, Ma cend me rite bak outsyd onez ah finishd eatn. Ah went don 2 da swimyn hole skiny dipn. Ah shor wishd Sally Jo wer wit me! Ah got bak jus n time fer supr.

Ah talkd 2 Georg when he be dropn off da male. He sayd old man York had a hol bloed clear thru is chest. Whoer dun it musta usd both barls o da shotgun at da saam time! Sayd ya culd put ur han cler thru im!

Pa sayd da sherf thin Billy Joe dun da deed cus it lukd lyk ol man York bin a whumpin on im agin. Lukd lyk Billy Joe got nokd ina cornr wear da shotgun b n he grabd it n shot ol man York. Sayd der wer a lot o blud frum Billy Joe bout da rum but no sign o im. After Pa sayd dat, Ma n Sally Jo got reel quyet.

Ah dun no ifn u no, but Billy Joe be mah 3rd cuzn twiz removd. Weez relatd thru is ma. Bet she wulda kept ol man York frum beetn on por Billy Joe ifn she wer stil livn.

N e wae, afta we dun eatn, Ma tol Pa 2 taak me out 2 sho me mor chores! Ah wer reel pisd but nu 2 kepe mah yap shut.

Wen ah axd Pa wat wer up wit Ma and Sally Jo he shuk is hed n tol me not 2 waist tyme tryn 2 figur out wymn. He dun sayd 2 smyl at wymn n dew wat dey sayz sinz we gona n up dewn it afta dey chew us up n spit us out. Sayd its jus easyr dewn it wen dey ask n void bein chewd up. Den Pa showd me how 2 put in nu fenz posts. Ah gota go rown al da pasturs n fix da fenzs. Datl taak me weaks! Ahl b out swetn al sumr whyl Ma n Sally Jo stay ina houz! Most maaks me regrt savin Sally Jo. But dam she be qut!

Yur sad fren
Jim Bob

*****

Jun 11 10pm

Jim Bob, mae b dat gurl b mor trubl den she wurth. Ah thin mos gurls b trubl. My Ma b on me al da tym 2 wurk whil she n my sistas stay ina houz wyle ahm out swetn jus lyk u. My Pa said da saam ting ur Pa sayd bout wymn. It jus aint fare! Men suposd 2 b duh ones b bosses. It sayz dat rite ina Gud Book! Wen ah sayd dat 2 Pa he lafd. Said dats ina Bibl jus 2 keap men frum gitin angrd.

Ur fren in swetn
Jerry Lee

*****

Jun 14 9pm

Jerry Lee, sory bout not ritn da laz cupl daz but Ma b wurkn mah but off! Pa aint no help neidr cauz ifn he sidz wit me, den he git n trubl. Most Sally Jo’s bruzs b heeld n she b lukn evn betr. She luk familyr but ah caint plaz er. She be lukn at me n givn me dis qut lil half smil. Dang if it dun giv me a bonr! She no it 2 cauz she gigl wen she see ma pantz pushn out! Dang but ah wana jump er bonz! Ah mite geta chanz 2! Ma dun tol us 2 nite at supr dat Sally Jo gona b livn wit us frum now on! Ma sayd she be ma 3rd cuzn twiz removd. Dat meen evn tho she b a reltiv she not cloz nuf 2 kepe us frum getn hitchd! Ah noz we onli b 13, but we culd get hitchd onez we b 14 ifn mah Ma n Pa sez ok. Mmm, jus tinkn bout layn n bed neks 2 Sally Jo evry nite maks me hornyr den a bull ina herd o cowz.

Ur hornee fren
Jim Bob

*****

Jun 14 10pm

Jim Bob, ahs startn 2 tink u puln mah leg. Aint no gurl qut nof 2 wantn 2 mari at r age! We got a hol bunch o wild oatz to sew! We cant b getn tyd down! Snap out o it u horndog! Ifn u don’t, ahl cum ovr n take er from ya! Ya no ahm betr lukn den u sew she boun 2 fal 4 me!

U here n e mor bout Billy Joe? Bobby Ray tol me he wen wit unrtakr Martin 2 git ol man York. He saz it lukd liek ol man York ben makn por Billy Joe drez in is Ma’s cloz n makn im dew da dede! Kan u magn dat! Bein maid 2 dres lik a gurl sew ur steppa kan skrew yah! No wundr Billy Joe bin sew quear laetly. Da ol bastrd maid im dat wae. Ah wuldn blaam Billy Joe ifn he dun bloe dat hole in im.

Ur fren
Jerry Lee

*****

Jun 15 9pm

Jerry Lee, u betr not b cumn roun bye 2 tryn steel Sally Jo. Ifn u dew, I’ll bloe a hole clean thru u like hapn to ol man York! She b MY gurl! Ah saw er furst n ah dun b da 1 who savd er lif! She b mine sew u stae way frum er! N fakt, ahm not gona talk 2 u bout er n e mor!

George dun tol me evn da hownds culdn trak down Billy Joe. Dey lost is cent at da brige ah dun fond Sally Jo at. Da sherf tink he snuk don 2 da inrstaat n hitchd a ryd. Sinz ah fond Sally Jo at da brige da saam nite ol man York got hisself kild, da sherf talkd 2 er n Ma 2 sea ifn she saw n e ting dat nite. Ah wer cent out 2 slop da hogs wile dey was talkn sew ah don no wat dey sayd.

Ur fren
Jim Bob

*****

Jun 15 10pm

Jim Bob, u mah bes fren. Ahd ner tri 2 taak ur gal. Ah was jus funin u. Dat gurl reeli got u bie da balls n ah bet deys reel bloo 2! Dun get mad, but Ahs bin wundrn y Sally Jo tryn 2 jump ofn da brige wen u fond er? If she b sew cloz 2 ur houz, how cums she not jus go der?

It b reel straeng bout Billy Joe bein misn. Ah dunt tink dey evn lukn 4 im n e mor! Guez dey tink ol man York got wat was cumn 2 im. Ah shur dew! Dat ol bastrd deservd 2 dye!

Ur fren
Jerry Lee

*****

Jun 16, 9pm

Jerry Lee, ah axd Pa da saam ting bout y Sally Jo not cum rite 2 our plaz. He saz she be shamed bie how er steppa beet er n ripd er drez n dat she b fraid we mite cend er bak 2 im. It were onlee wen ah stopd er dat she figurd we b gud peepl.

Ah fond out wat da sherf dun axd Sally Jo yestadae. It b bout Billy Joe. She tol im she dun see im hedn down 2 da inrstaat. Sumpn bigr hapn tho, Ma got da sherf 2 rest Sally Jo’s steppa for buesn er. He stopd buy 2 dae 2 giv Ma legl paprs sew dat Sally Jo now b legl part o r famly. She b startn skool wit us n Septmbr n she b n r graed.

Ah bin tinkn dat setln down wit Sally Jo mae b not a gud idea aftr al. Doon get me rong, ahd stil jump er bonz n e chanz ah got, but dat gurl nevr shut up! Yak Yak Yak al dae n al nite. Pa saz a lot o gurls lik dat.

Ur fren
Jim Bob

*****

Jun 16 10pm

Jim Bob, ahs glad 2 sea ur wizn up bout Sally Jo. Ur sistr being oldr n u didn talk 2 much 2 ya, but mah sistrs r lyk Sally Jo, Yak Yak Yak! Ahm glad ah gota work outsyd cuz it get me way frum dem!

Ur fren
Jerry Lee

*****

Jun 17, 9pm

Jerry Lee, u mah bes fren. U gota promiz on ur Mas lief 2 keyp a seacrt ah fond out bout 2 nite. Ah wont tel ya ifn u dont promiz.

Ur fren
Jim Bob

*****

Jun 17, 10pm

Jim Bob, ah sware on mah Mas lief 2 keyp ur seacrt. U no I dun nevr tol a seacret 2 no 1.

Ur fren
Jerry Lee

*****

Jun 18, 9pm

Jerry Lee, ahm trustn u. U betr nevr tel dis seacrt. Duhder nite wen ah teld u bout Sally Jo yakn so much, aftr ah cent da emale 2 u, ah snuk out mah bedrum winda on 2 da ruef. Reel quyt lik ah snuk ovr 2 da dormr winda ina bedrum Sally Jo usin sews ah ken peak n sighd whil she b undrezn. Ah no it were nauty, but she jus sew qut ah culdn help maself. N e wae, wen ah peak n, she b buk ass nakid! Ah got da bigst bonr evr! Her bak be towrd me n she got a reel qut ass! But ah dun fel off da ruef wen she turnd rond. Dang ifn Sally Jo didn hav a pekr! Sally Jo be a bouy! U no, 1 o dem transexls!

Lukee ah land ona big lilak bush sew it brak mah fal. Al dat hapn wer ah got skratchd up. Ah had 2 clim upn da ol tree at da end o da hous 2 get bak n mah bedrum. 2 dae, ma wer reely pisd wen she saw how bustd up da lilak bush b but nun o us new wat hapn. Wel, ah new but ah sur wernt gona say nutn!

Al dae 2dae ah bin lokn reel clos at Sally Jo. Den it hit me lik faln thru da hole ina da pit unda da outhouz. Ah dun figurd out y Sally Jo lukn sew familyr. Shur, she b mah 3rd cuzn twiz removd, but datz cauz she b Billy Joe! He bin hidn rite hear al da tyme! But Jerry Lee, u no ah aint 1 o dem fary guys. Ahm a reel man n ah lyke gurls! Sea, dats da ting, evn tho Sally Jo reely b Billy Joe, she b a reel girl evn ifn she got a pekr. Ah aint shamd mah first gurl kis was frum her eider. Ull see wen skool starts. By den she b sew gurly no one evr no sept u n me. She stil gona b my gurl. Ifn you tel n e 1, ahl dew 2 u what she dun 2 ol man York.

Ur bes fren oar ur wurst enmy
Jim Bob



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