Awkward

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----------=BigCloset Retro Classic!=----------

Awkward
By Janet L. Stickney
Copyright© 2012 Janet L. Stickney
All Rights Reserved.

"I know who you are" he said, "and what's more, you still look just terrific as a woman, but you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Who am I then?"

"You're Tom of course" he said lightly, "but we'll forget that for tonight, because right now, you're Kathy!"

I guess I shouldn't have been shocked that he knew who I was, but he was acting as if it was the most normal thing in the world for me to be dressed as a woman, then kept insisting that I was beautiful! I thought about reminding him who and what I was one more time, but swallowed that idea when he asked me to dance again! Just being polite, I let him lead me to the dance floor once again.

"If I asked you" he said, "would you go out with me?"

"Knowing who I am, you're asking me out on a date? Are you nuts?"


 

Admin Note: Originally published on BigCloset TopShelf on Thursday, 11/01/2012 - 04:09:07 PM.(-0400), Awkward was pulled out of the closet, and re-presented for our newer readers to enjoy. ~Sephrena


 
 
By the time I was ready it was almost to late, but trying to hurry only made things worse. I could barely walk in the heels let alone run, and unused to wearing a dress, bra and all that, I felt just about as awkward as when I first learned how to ride a bike. I stopped and collected myself, taking the time to look in the mirror. I saw a woman about 30 with dark brown hair and green eyes wearing a blue dress called a sheath. It was just at my knees with a round neck and didn't have any sleeves. My legs didn't look to bad, and with all the padding I had on, I actually had a shape. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the purse and walked out of the house and to my car.

I would not have done this at all except for the fact that attendance at the annual costume party was virtually mandatory. Single, I had no idea what to wear and didn't even consider dressing as a woman, until my mom suggested it. As kindly as she could, she pointed out that I was only 5'8" tall, slender, and had worn my hair moderately long for almost as long as she could remember. Since I wasn't able to create something on my own, I had agreed, which is when mom helped me buy what I needed. Then she left me to get ready on my own, telling me that all she would do was help me with makeup and hair! It was a struggle, but I managed to get the clothes on without strangling myself, then, just before I was ready for the dress, mom came in and worked some magic on me. As she worked on my face, less and less of me was visible while more and more of some girl began to emerge. When she was done I didn't look like me at all! Then she started on my hair, creating what she called a pageboy, complete with bangs she created with a curling iron and a pair of scissors.

By the time I had the dress on and had looked in the mirror I was very aware of how I looked, and the very strange way those clothes made me feel. Adding lipstick and earrings, mom watched, then helped me do the clasp on the necklace before she spritzed me with some perfume! I tried walking in the heels before I went very far, and while it wasn't bad, I felt…uneasy, like I was going to fall over. Mom watched me until I had the hang of it, and I had lost that teetering sensation, then, handing me a purse, she hugged me and told me to have a nice time. We left my house together, she went home while I started for the banquet hall.

Most of the employees were younger, and our dress code at work was casual, so there was no telling what kind of costumes people would wear. I felt awkward, but not ashamed as I parked the car and walked into the hall. The crowd wasn't very big, yet I recognized a few people. One lady who's last name is Hershey, naturally came as a candy kiss, a few others wore simple rented costumes, and as I looked around, it seemed that I was the only guy dressed as a girl. Either that or they were really good at it.

"Hiya babe!" came a voice, then a I felt a firm hand on my ass!

"Get away from me" I said, even before I turned around, then I saw who it was. The President of the company!

"Opps! Sorry" he said, "I thought you were someone else! My abject apologies my lady!" Taking my hand…"Let me get you a drink to make up for that indiscretion."

I took a gin and tonic, then watched as he faded away into the crowd, leaving me at the bar. As I stood there I saw that I knew who most everyone was, only a few eluding recognition. Nobody seemed to know who I was though, which was just fine with me, because while not uncomfortable, and dressing as a woman seemed easy enough, I didn't plan on doing it again.

"Hi there" came a voice from behind me. Turning, "I saw you over here all alone and decided to join you. I hope you don't mind."

It was Bill, a guy I knew from the office! Obviously, he didn't know who I was. "No" I said, "I don't mind at all."

"My name is Bill" he said with a wide grin, "what's your name?"

Since he had not recognized me, I didn't think I wanted to tell him who I really was, just in case. I didn't want all of the ribbing I was sure would come if I told him, so…"Kathy" I said with a smile.

He bought me another drink, then, just after it was set in front of me, he grabbed my hand and asked me to dance! Without waiting for a reply, I soon found myself in his arms, swaying to the music! Bill was an excellent dancer, and even though I had never danced with a man before, I found it easy enough to follow him, and only stepped on his foot once. While we were dancing…

"I know who you are" he said, startling me.

"You do?"

"Sure" he said confidently, "you're Wonder Woman's alter ego Diana!"

Laughing, I said…"Not hardly! She has a body to die for!"

"For my money" he said with a grin, "it sure looks like you're not doing so badly in that department yourself!"

There was no retort that I could use without making things worse than they already were, so I kept silent, only smiling back when he said that. When the music stopped he escorted me back to my drink. Expecting him to leave, I was surprised when he asked me to join him at a table. When I didn't answer right away, he took me by the hand, gave a soft tug, and I relented, since sitting on a chair would be much better than sitting on a stool. Bill helped me with the chair, then sat across from me. Clearly he had more on his mind than a few drinks and a bad dinner, but how was I going to let him know that his attentions were directed at a male? If I told him, what then? Would he get angry? As I looked over at him I could see that his eyes were locked on me, and I had a growing desire to tell him who I really was, regardless of what might happen. If I didn't, he might try to go places even I didn't want to think about.

"Bill" I said, "I um, think that you should know something about me."

"What's to know?" He asked me, "You're beautiful, you're sitting with me, and you haven't run off yet!"

"Pay attention Bill" I told him a bit angrily, "I'm not who you think I am!"

"I know who you are" he said, "and what's more, you still look just terrific as a woman, but you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Who am I then?"

"You're Tom of course" he said lightly, "but we'll forget that for tonight, because right now, you're Kathy!"

I guess I shouldn't have been shocked that he knew who I was, but he was acting as if it was the most normal thing in the world for me to be dressed as a woman, then kept insisting that I was beautiful! I thought about reminding him who and what I was one more time, but swallowed that idea when he asked me to dance again! Just being polite, I let him lead me to the dance floor once again.

"If I asked you" he said, "would you go out with me?"

"Knowing who I am, you're asking me out on a date? Are you nuts?"

"As it happens" he said, "I have to attend a family reunion, and at every one these reunions since I was about 15, my Aunt Gladys has tried to set me up with someone. Of course, the girl and I never hit it off, so I thought that if I took my own girl this time she might lay off."

"That's just what I need Bill! It isn't my fondest wish to be dressed this way to start with, and you want me to be the center of everyone's attention? Being eyeballed by all of your female relatives? No thanks! And besides, what if they read me as a male dressed as a female? What then?"

"All the better" he said with a smile, "because then they'll think we're a Gay couple, with you trying your best to fit in by making us look like a normal couple! Maybe then they'll quit trying to set me up! Especially Gladys!"

"This would be the dumbest thing I ever did, even if I did agree that is!" I was adamant in thinking that it would be impossible for me to pass myself off as a female.

"Let's do this then" Bill said, "so far tonight, has anyone suggested in any way that you're not a female?"

"Well, no" I said, "But…"

"Come with me Kathy" he said as he took me by the hand. Within minutes we were standing with a group of senior executives! Seeing my career going up in flames…"Everyone, I would like you to meet Kathy. She's with me tonight."

Every one of those men and their wives, all in costume, greeted me with smiles from the men and hugs from the women! We chatted for a bit, then meandered back to our table where Bill just sat there all smug and grinning, as if to say that he was right. I was still shaking from the experience.

"This is just crazy Bill! I might be able to fool some people that are half drunk, but…"

"Just think about it…Kathy."

I had been thinking about it and how crazy it sounded, but then again, Bill had been right when he said that nobody knew who I was, which he confirmed when he introduced me to the executives. It wasn't as if I liked dressing as a woman, it's just that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and that's all. Bill put his hand on mine, once again making me feel what?…like a woman? I didn't know, and moved my hand. Looking at him, all I could see was his smile and those big blue eyes that were literally begging me to do it.

"Why don't you just ask Beverly? She's single, and I know she likes you" I asked him, pleading, almost a whine.

"I was going to" he said, "then I saw you! Believe me, you make Bev look like she's wearing a sack! I know you don't want to admit it, but in my opinion, you're a lot better looking as a woman than a man, and besides, you're having a good time. I can see it all over your face!" Leaning closer, "I'm also willing to bet that you're enjoying being a woman tonight, but you're afraid that someone might find out, which is why you keep saying no!"

Ignoring his pointed jab, "You still haven't answered my question Bill. Why ask me and not one of the many girls, or should I say, conquests that you already know?"

He sat back in his chair, and with a deep sigh…"Did you know that the executive board has approved two slots for people that live alternate lifestyles?"

"No! When did that happen?" I was shocked!

"Two days ago" Bill told me. "A little birdie told me, but listen, I invited Jack, our esteemed President to our reunion before I knew about the new slots, and I was thinking that if he sees you dressed as a woman, and with me, what's he going to think? That you're Transgendered and either one or both of us is Gay! That will put us both on the fast track to take those promotions! Don't you see? It's perfect! For both of us!"

I had worked hard to get promoted, but had been stymied because I didn't like to play the political game while others, like Bill, did. What Bill was suggesting was more than outlandish, it sounded dishonest to me, but with just one more promotion I would be in a better position to get at least considered for another, and Bill was in the same boat I was in. Just then, as I looked at him, I saw Jack, our President waving at me, then he started in our direction! Looking back at Bill…

"What are you two conspiring about?" Jack asked us. "You looked very cozy over here!"

"I just asked Kathy to be my date for the reunion" Bill said quickly.

"Then" Jack said, "I'll look forward to seeing you both there!"

I was furious with Bill for saying that, but Jack didn't seem to mind when Bill told him he had asked me to be his date, which made it difficult for me to say no, so…"When is the reunion?" I asked ruefully.

"Three weeks! You'll do it then?"

"Maybe, I'll think about it" I said.

"Then why not let me take you to dinner tomorrow? Think of it as practice."

Knowing that Jack expected to see me as a woman at Bill's family reunion must have warped my sensibilities, and yet, to this day, why I agreed I'll never know, but when I said finally said yes, Bill became quite animated, all smiles and so on. Later, when it was time to go, he walked me to my car, telling me again that I was beautiful, even as I closed the car door. By the time I got home I knew that I was out of my mind, but it was to late to call Bill and tell him, so I made a mental note to call him in the morning. That's what I told myself anyway, but when I got home and looked in the mirror and saw myself again, I realized that what everyone saw wasn't the real me, but a woman that kind of looked like me. I undressed and cleaned up, then went to bed wondering if I would call Bill, or go along with his ridiculous scheme to get us both promoted.

In the morning over coffee I pondered on what I should do. There was no way that I could even consider becoming a woman again without some help from my mother since I would need some more clothes, but what kind? How many? What style if any? I dreaded calling my mother, but I didn't have anyone else to ask! At age 23, still single, without a girlfriend or sister to ask, meant that I simply didn't have anyone else to turn to! Picking up the phone, I made the call. When I told mom what was going on and that maybe I might want to try it, all I heard was laughter from her end of the phone, then she said she would be over. As I hung up the phone I swallowed hard. What had I gotten myself into I asked myself. Mom arrived an hour later, chuckling as I explained what had happened the night before. I told her what Bill and Jack had said, all about the promotions, the whole thing, then wondered out loud if I was just crazy or merely out of my mind considering it. Telling me that I did indeed look pretty as a girl, she offered no solution, but quickly made a list of things that I would need in order to do what I had told her. I thought it was a fairly long list, but mom told me that if I kept dressing as a girl the list would quickly be child's play! Child's play was okay, but mom sounded as if she thought I had already made up my mind, which I had not, but as soon as we both had some coffee, mom told me to get my wallet, telling me we were going shopping!

Mom didn't tell me I was crazy or anything like that, and she didn't even ask me if I liked dressing as a girl, all she did was let me know that she liked the family the way it was and wanted it to stay that way. I told her that was my intention as well, that I was only doing this for a friend. That drew a sarcastic look from mom, so that's when I once again mentioned the two promotion slots and the criteria to get slotted into one of them.

"I take it" mom asked quietly "that you are going to try for the promotion by telling them that you like dressing as a woman and might even want to be a woman?"

"I'm not sure mom, but I'm thinking about it" I said, "it's a lot of money, a 20 percent raise, why?"

"Well" mom said, "have you considered the fact that once you show up dressed as a woman that you'll have to continue dressing as a woman?"

"No I won't!" I said, "I know for sure that some guys just dress up once in a while!"

"Yes, I know that," mom said looking right at me, "but to gain a promotion, don't you think they'll want to see you at work, dressed as a woman? And wouldn't that necessarily mean that you will have to be a woman all of the time? I mean, other wise, just any guy could say they are Transgendered, and who would know? How could they prove it? Dress up and take a few pictures? Somehow I don't think they could accept that, do you?"

I had not thought of that! In my mind I saw my visions of a promotion beginning to vaporize! Me? Dressed as a woman? At work? My heart sank into my shoes as I realized what I was going to have to do to get promoted! It wasn't as if I wasn't otherwise qualified, Bill, myself and Sam were all equally qualified, but a 20 percent raise was very healthy, and we had all worked hard and we all wanted to be promoted. If I decided to dress as a woman and Bill said he was gay, then no matter what Stan did, Bill and I would be shoe ins for the promotions. But, and it was a big but, would it be worth it? I mean, dressing as a woman? Just to get a promotion? If I did start back to work as a woman, I knew it would be exactly like mom told me. I would be forever cast in that role, even if some head hunter came and wanted to hire me away, or worse, I didn't get the promotion! Then of course there was the reunion that Bill had mentioned. He said and Jack confirmed that he would be there, which we both understood would be an ideal time for Bill and I to tell him about ourselves. But what would happen after that?

Knowing that my mom was a mind reader, I should not have been surprised when she told me as we, or rather she, made that list, and right out of the blue, said that if I were set on doing it, becoming a woman I mean, then I might as well do it right, and in her words that meant the "very best, the premier breast forms I could find, and some kind of padding for my hips that wouldn't be quite so uncomfortable", then she suggested that maybe I have something done with my hair, "like extensions" she said. The longer we sat there in my kitchen the more things mom added to the list and the more I began to wonder if I were crazy or not. I had dressed as a woman for a party not to start a new lifestyle, yet everyone including myself had been surprised at how I turned out looking. I was caught between remaining myself and taking my chances at getting promoted anyway, or risking everything by becoming, or at the very least, dressing as a woman. Since I had never leaned that way my natural aversion to dressing as a woman full time became the prominent force in the way I looked at the situation.

My mother had made it clear that the decision was mine to make, yet my natural reticence kept being pushed aside by the thought of all that money. A raise that high would allow me to fund my 401k a bit better, maybe move into a better apartment, and in general, upgrade my entire life, and that does not take into account the fact that promotions above the next rank were very lucrative. If I did decide to dress as a woman I would be risking everything on a mere chance that I would be promoted, with the down side would be that I would have to quit, or keep dressing as a woman, because changing back would be worse, that much was obvious. Mom just sat there as all of this raced through my mind, tumbling and mixing together until I finally looked over at her. No smile, no sign emanated from her to give me a clue, only those blue eyes staring at me.

I'm not sure how or why I decided to do it although I'm sure that the inherent greed we all have played a major part, along with the way I looked as a woman. When I looked up again, grasping mom's eyes in my own, I didn't say a word. I merely nodded my head yes. As we finished our coffee I thought about what I had agreed to. My mother has that milky white smooth skin so many women only dream of, with her wrinkles so faint as not to be seen, and wondered if, since I had decided to try it, if I would be able to be as much a lady as she was.

"Are you sure about this?" mom asked, "I'm sure you're aware that it means that you'll probably have to spend hours just trying to make sure that you look nice, what with shaving and all that. This isn't going to be as simple as it might sound honey, and being a woman means different things than being a man does you know. Things that you take for granted now will change, simple things, like walking to your car late at night alone. Women don't do that unless they don't have a choice, while all men do is start walking! How you talk, what you sound like, the way you walk and move will all have to change, and unless you make a concerted effort to be aware of those things, you'll look like what you are, a man in a dress! This is going to be hard on you, but if you're convinced that this is the right thing to do, then I guess I have no choice but to help you, either that or let you become the biggest fool anyone has seen in a very long time!"

When mom got up, like the dutiful son I had always been, I followed her out to the car without a word. The die had been cast the moment she stood up and I said nothing, simply letting my own mother lead the way to my becoming a woman, at least for one date and a family reunion I had no right to attend. My mother can be single minded when she wants to be, and on that morning, she made it clear that while she wanted me to be remain her son, she also understood the fix I was in and the reasons for my decision, which is why, she told me, that our first stop would be at a prosthetic shop. She told me that in order to be fitted for the right size clothes, we first had to find out what size I was going to be, because even though I already had one dress that fit, that might change! I had no idea what the hell she was talking about, but trusted her, and let her take me where she wanted me to go, all without a fuss. To say what happened in that shop was embarrassing would be an understatement, especially as mom sat there calmly telling the woman why I needed the very best breast forms available! Surprising me, the woman didn't even blink as she took measurements and began the tedious process of finding exactly what she said I needed, not even asking us for our opinion.

After several attempts, the woman grinned as she held the form to my chest, then when the woman was completely satisfied with the size, fit, and color, she looked first at me, then mom, a question on her face that I didn't get, but mom did. When I saw the almost imperceptible nod from my mother, the woman began smearing the glue on my chest, and I knew immediately what was about to happen. Right up to that moment I could have said no and left, returning to my apartment to become myself again, but I didn't, so first one, then the other was stuck on my chest, held in place for a moment, then, when the woman let go, I had what appeared to be my very own boobs! I was aghast when I realized how they looked on my chest, and to my great shame, I was felt very pleased with them! I had said nothing which resulted in my having boobs, but I had to admit, they looked as real as any girls, and felt exactly the same. Then the woman whipped out a tape and quickly made a few notations and asked me to stand up and remove my pants!

"We also have" the woman said to me, "a padded panty for our customers that lack roundness dear, but we also have a panty that does all that and at the same time makes you look like a normal woman, so if you'll remove your pants I'll get some measurements then check to see if we have what you need."

Well, by the time she was done I not only had a figure "to die for" as mom put it, and none of my clothes fit very well, there was no sign that I had ever been a male! Since my clothes didn't fit very well and rather than go shopping like that, mom took me home where I once again became a woman, wearing the same stuff I had worn before. Then we went shopping. According to mom the glue used to hold the breast forms on my chest would last until I used the solvent to release them, but since I was about to try being a woman, there was no reason to hurry, and started handing me things like bras once we were in the lingerie section of the store. Panties and slips, a robe and a nightgown, then a few skirts with blouses, shorts and tops, a suit, shoes and so on until I thought my credit card was going to melt. By the time we got home my mind was so messed up that I wasn't sure that what I was doing was worth all of the aggravation, or cost!

"Since" mom said with a grin, "you have those things stuck on your chest, I suggest that you either take a week off, or plan on going to work as a woman on Monday; they come off, but she did such a nice job of putting them on it would be a shame not to leave them, especially since you have date tonight and a reunion in a few weeks!"

As mom left the house I felt that sinking sensation, you know, the one that lets you know that you may have bitten off more than you can chew? Sitting there pondering what I had gotten myself into, I realized that it was more than plain greed. Beside more money, there was a higher position and more stature. Standing in front of the mirror to once again look at the girl we had created it settled on me that I had taken a step almost so drastic that I couldn't believe that I had done it to myself. I could remove the breast forms, shower and become myself again, but then I would have spent all that money for nothing while at the same time letting down Bill and possibly jeopardize my future. One would think that a college graduate might be smarter than that, but no. I had let the vision of my future cloud my thinking, which left me staring at myself as a woman. Feeling my breasts with my hands I was once again shocked to find that not only did they look real, they felt just like the real thing. Like my breasts, my hips were softly rounded with my bottom full, like any woman my age, and between my legs, a tuft of hair that barely concealed the thin slit of a woman. I stood there for a while as I tried to decide what to do, knowing full well that since I wasn't about to waste all that money I just spent, no matter what, I was about to appear as a woman at work the next day. My future had been decided, all because I either lacked the will to say no, or I liked being a woman, I wasn't so sure at that point.

I went in the bedroom wearing only the padded panty and the breast forms. With the extra padding on my hips it looked as if I had a smaller waist, and with the way my manhood was hidden, I not only looked like a woman, I would also have to sit to use the bath. Only my shorter hair ruined the look, but other than that, I could get naked in a room full of women, and I doubted that any of them would even look at me twice! I got dressed again, deciding on a skirt and blouse, then as I put the wig back on I knew that there was only one way not to look like a complete dork, and that was to finish what mom and I had started, so I grabbed my purse and left to find a salon. My dad always said that "if there isn't any choice, do your best". Well, I had reached the point that what he said finally made sense. I had no idea what would be involved, but once I had crossed the span between my natural inability to see myself as a woman and the reality I plainly saw in the mirror, I had no choice but to put my whole heart into becoming the best woman I could be, regardless of what it took.

Once I reached that conclusion it was as if a fog lifted and I could see my way clear to take the next and maybe the most drastic step yet. I had no idea what extensions were, how they were attached or even if they came out, only the fact that I needed to do something with my hair. Mom mentioned extensions, so that's where my mind naturally went, but since I simply could not envision myself with long hair, I decided to tell the stylist what I needed then let her do whatever she had to do to. I was fine until I pulled up in front of the salon, even when I got out of the car. I froze when my hand hit the door pull, but a woman leaving pushed against the door, and all of a sudden I was inside the building. Assaulted by the aromas in the salon I was momentarily shocked, then I heard her.

"Hi! I'm Jenny! Do you have an appointment?"

"Well, umm, no, but…"

"That's okay honey, Marcie is free, her two o'clock didn't show up. Let me get her."

Marcie turned out to be not much older than I was, but she recognized the wig for what it was and taking my hand, she led me to her area then set up a screen around us. Without a word she removed the wig, exposing a clearly male haircut, but she didn't flinch, even a little.

"We have" she said lightly, "some work to do, don't we?" When I looked up without speaking…"Don't be afraid honey, you're not the only "special" customer I have. So tell me, what did you have in mind?"

Regaining my voice…"Mom mentioned extensions?"

"Your mother?" she sounded disbelieving. "Well yes, extensions would work I suppose, but they are very expensive and take a long time to put in. Can I make a suggestion?" Nodding my head yes…"Well" she said, "hair grows, on the average, about  ¾ of an inch a month, and since your hair is a bit longer than usual for most guys, let me try a few things. There are a lot of women out there that have hair shorter than yours, so I'm sure that I can fix you up! Then we'll let it grow out until you reach the length that you like. Is that okay?" Again I nodded my head yes. "Is this going to be an everyday thing? Or is it just for a weekend?"

"Everyday" I said.

"Great" she said, then I watched her in the mirror as she clipped and snipped here and there, put in some rollers and began to add solution. "This is a very mild solution that will help hold in the style until your hair grows out a bit more. While you're under the dryer, why not get your nails done? We have a special this week, and it'll save you almost half!"

By then I was well past the point of no return, and simply agreed to have my nails done, all while not having the slightest clue as to what that meant beyond color. I was under the dryer and unable to move when I found out. An even younger girl came over, rolling her small table with her, and began to wash and clean each nail before she even started. I was astounded how at how quickly she managed to make my nails not only longer, but thicker, smoother, and with the rounded tips and soft plum polish that I picked out, more feminine! By the time she was done I was ready for Marcie to finish. I wasn't ready for what I saw in the mirror however.

My hair, once a soft mouse brown, was streaked with thin tendrils of blond hair, the natural brown slightly darker. The rollers had given my hair body, and now lay on top of my head in gently curls and waves. Around the sides Marcie had brushed my hair down, making me look just as feminine as any woman you would see on any street. I was lost in my awe when she tilted the chair back, brushed aside my new bangs, and applied some sort of goo. After a very short wait, she yanked on the strip of cloth, causing me to cry out in pain but making her smile. She did it one more time before she spun me around to look at the new me. Any protesting I might have done was by then a mute point, since there wasn't one thing about me that said I was a male! Paying the bill, I cringed at how much it was, but thanked Marcie, and let her schedule me for my next appointment, a whole month away!

By the time I got home I was thoroughly confused at my reaction to the way I looked. I had never been attracted to the idea of wearing women's clothes, yet when I looked in the mirror I could not deny how I looked, nor the way that made me feel. Every smell, each sensation, when I walked, I felt my boobs bouncing, or my nylons rubbing together, the sight of long sexy nails, or my hair and neatly arched eyebrows, all combined to make me feel as if I were…pretty. Even thinking that word felt strange, and stranger yet, it was true, and what's more, I liked it! With an overwhelming sense of femininity washing over me, I glanced at the clock then went in my bedroom and took out the one dress that mom told me all women should have. She called it an LBD, or, "little black dress". I quickly undressed and slipped it on, smoothed it out, then stepped into my black heels, added a gold choker necklace from my meager supply of jewelry, dashed on some of the new perfume, and headed for the front room. I had plenty of time before Bill would be there, so I decided to show mom what the finished product looked like, and grabbed my purse then headed out.

Since mom was the one that helped me buy all of the clothes, I drove straight to her house. Ignoring the car in the driveway, I went to the door and opened it just like I always did, and stepped inside. Hearing voices, I followed the sound and ended up in the doorway to the kitchen, my mom staring at me, her mouth wide open. Across from her was my brother! We all stared at each other for a moment, then Jeff popped out of his chair as if someone poked him in the ass with a sharp stick.

"Damn!" he said as he motioned at a chair. As I sat down…"Mom told me that you had tried a stint as a woman, and said that you looked quite pretty." Grinning as he sat down, "I figured that you would look like a guy in a dress, but…"

"Kathy is" mom said, "just as pretty as I told you she was, isn't she?"

My brother just sat there staring at me, but I saw mom casually take her finger and run it across her eyebrows, a clear sign that she recognized what I had done. Jeff, always a ladies man, had let his eyes drift South to the cresting tops of my breasts that gave no sign that they were not my own, and I know that confused him, as did everything about how I looked. I also knew that he was having a hard time putting his finger on it, things like nicely styled hair and shiny well done nails, and arching eyebrows were things that he took as something normal for a girl to have. While he knew that I was his brother, just by sitting there looking like his sister, without the slightest hint that I was really his brother really shook him up. He muttered the word "damn" a few more times before mom told him to stop.

"Well" mom said, "it looks like you have decided!"

"When mom told me, I knew that you would look spectacular" Jeff said with a grin, "you never did do anything halfway! It was always all or none, and in this case, I guess I was right!" Pausing…"Tell me, how do I treat a sister? I mean…"

"You treat her with respect" mom said, "just like you would any woman!"

"Darn" Jeff said with a grin, "I was hoping I could dip her pigtails in an ink bottle!"

Jeff is a year older than I am, tall, muscular and has never been without female company, ever, but he has been dating Jill for over a year now, and we're all sure that she'll manage to get him to settle down some day soon. Mom suggested that we all go out to dinner, then remembered my date with Bill.

"Why don't you call him and have him meet us there Kathy?"

I called Bill, told him what was going on, then asked him to meet us. He said he would, and Jeff brought the sedan around, then drove mom and I to the restaurant, letting us out at the door before he parked the car. We made it almost through the maze to our table when who shows up but his girlfriend Jill!

"Hello Jeffrey." Her tone was decidedly icy. "And who is this?" she asked, slightly changing her tune to be more musical when she looked at me.

"Jill, This is my sister Kathy. Kathy, this is Jill." It was obvious that Jeff was trying not to swallow his tongue.

"Yeah," she said, back to her icy tone, "like I'm going to believe that! You don't have a sister! Only Tom, and he's…" Jill looked directly at me, then I saw her eyes go very wide. She isn't the brightest bulb in the package, but given time, she usually gets there. "Damn!" she said, "You're…"

"My name is Kathy" I said with a smile.

"Jeff's sister and my daughter" mom added.

Jill finally accepted that I wasn't some girl trying to steal Jeff away from her, and became very animated, smiling and joking, almost as if she forgot who I really was, but she kept sneaking looks at me none the less. Bill arrived shortly after that, and by the look on his face, I had successfully made the switch from male to female. He sat next to me during dinner, then later just before we left, mom suggested that she could drive herself home, so Jeff and Jill took her car and left, while Bill graciously offered to take me home. Once mom left, Jeff and Jill went their way while Bill led me to his car. Since it was still early, when Bill drove me to my car, then followed me to my house. On the way home I decided that it was his turn to be shocked, which he was, shortly after we were in my apartment. I went in my bedroom, slipped off the dress, and put on the new peignoir and robe set before I returned to the front room. With his eyes locked on my cleavage, I swept past him, going into the kitchen, leaving him standing there with the his mouth draped open. By the time he got his mouth closed I had sat on the couch, my knees firmly together, my hands in my lap. Bill enjoyed a reputation with the ladies that I didn't want to find out about first hand, I only wanted him to know how far I had gone.

"Damn!" he said. "Stand up! Let me see!" I stood up and let him look at me, then…"want a drink? I think I need one!"

"I'll pass," I said, "but thank you."

He swallowed his drink in one gulp, then came to stand very close to me. When he took my hands in his I didn't think anything of it, but when his right arm slipped around my waist and pulled me closer…

"Bill, what are you doing!?"

"Well" he said, "since we're supposed to be lovers, don't you think that we should at least kiss? I mean, it does make sense doesn't it?"

"No" I said quickly, "it does not mean that! And who said that we're supposed to be lovers? You?" I pushed away from him as I felt my temper rising. "Besides, what if I decide not to do this? I mean, think about it. You have a reputation with the ladies, so how are you going to convince anyone that you're Gay all of a sudden? And what about me?!"

"Yeah" Bill said, "lets talk about you. "Let me see, eyebrows that have obviously been waxed, long shiny nails, hair that's a different color and very nicely styled by the way, and that's all before I mention those" he said as he pointed at my boobs, "plus you now have hips, a very fine ass, and your makeup is flawless! Shall I go on?"

"Okay, okay," I said petulantly, "I'm going to work as a woman, but that doesn't mean that we're….that I would…no way!"

Before I could say another word I felt his lips on mine, pressing hard as he pulled me closer, his hand moving down until he had a firm grasp on my buns. Unable to get away I felt his tongue as he probed against my lips, and with an involuntary gasp, opened my mouth. With my eyes closed I could almost imagine I was kissing a girl, until I felt his raspy beard against my smooth face. He held me tightly as his relentless exploration of my molars began to make me drift away from my long held ideas about men kissing men. Pausing only for a breath, Bill did not release me, but once again pressed his lips to mine. It was like I was another person as his hands, both on my butt, held me close, but without thinking, I had my arms around his neck in an embrace only a woman could provide. Then he moved, and I could feel him, his hardness against my leg, the pulsing evidence of his passion evident. My heart was pounding, and I felt beads of sweat running down my back, but Bill still held me tight.

"I don't think" he said, "that you realize just how sexy you are, or maybe you do, considering that next to nothing you have on!"

"That was just to show you that I have made the commitment to becoming a woman, but only to get that promotion! Not to let you make me just another notch on your bedpost!"

"But why not? Bill asked with a smirk, "I can show you how much fun it is to be a woman!"

"Maybe, but not now, and maybe even never! I think that you better go now. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

He didn't like it, but he left, promising to see me first thing in the morning. I slept badly that night, knowing that the moment I set foot in the office my future would be changed forever, then I thought about the way Bill had reacted around me, the way he tasted and the roughness of his face. There was no way I could simply quit, not then. I had already done more than I thought I would, and by letting Bill kiss me, in my mind, I had no way out.

The next morning I was up early, carefully putting on my makeup. My hair seemed to pop right back into place, and as I reached for a bra I knew that I would have to be just as professional looking as a woman could be, so I took the suit out of the closet and put it on the bed. Stepping into clean panties I pulled on the pantyhose then slipped on the white blouse. The skirt was a bright red cut straight and only just above my knees; the jacket was navy, and gave me a very business like look. Pale lipstick, some perfume, earrings and a thin bracelet before I stepped into the red heels, and I was ready. Taking a deep breath, I opened the front door and stepped into the very uncertain future that lay ahead of me.

I opened the car door and stepped out, facing the office, the shiny steel framed doors beckoning. Just as I turned to walk in, a hand took me by the elbow.

"Good morning Kathy! I didn't expect to see you again! You look quite lovely this morning."

It was Jack! "Thank you" I said, "I decided to…I mean…"

"Don't worry so much Kathy! I'm sure that your work won't suffer because you decided to wear something different. Just relax and do your job and everything will be just fine." As we walked together…"I'll get a new sign made for your office. Same last name?" Nodding my head yes, "That's fine. See you later" he said.

Heads turned when I walked in, but nobody said anything. When I had my coffee and was safely ensconced in my office, I set about working. That lasted for maybe half an hour. Beverly came in and shut the door behind her.

"You look…different this morning Tom…well, that can't be right! Just what do we call you?"

"Kathleen, Kathy for short" I said while trying to stay calm.

"Bill" she said sourly, "told me that you were just cute as hell, and I'm beginning to think that he might have a crush on you!" Beverly watched me closely, so I just sat there. "He said that you two had dinner together last night, and that you had a nice time."

"Well" I told her, "it was good for me anyway, he paid for my dinner...why?"

"You might not know it, which is why I've decided to tell you myself, so there isn't any misunderstanding. Bill and I, well, we're a couple."

"I didn't know" I said, knowing it was a blatant lie. "I'll keep it in mind Beverly, but isn't it up to Bill to decide who he wants to be with?"

With that she stood up, reminded me once again that she and Bill were a couple, then left, shutting the door a little hard on her way out. As little as I knew about the way women interacted with each other, it was clearly obvious that she and I were going to have some problems. Bill dated her for a few times but dropped her because of her incessant push to get married. Now she was telling me that they were together again. With a sigh I went back to work. About an hour later I faced my first challenge. I had to use the restroom. Since there was no way I was going into the men's, I went in the ladies and quickly did my business. I was at the sink washing up when Bev came in. She didn't say anything, but by the look on her face, she didn't like me in there. For an entire week I went to work with only those and a few other minor incidents marring the week, but each day after work I stopped at a department store and began to widen my wardrobe, slowly and with deliberate care, considering that I wanted to be promoted. One morning as I started towards my office I was stopped when Jennifer, Jack's secretary told me that he wanted to see me, so we walked down the hall together.

"Shut the door Kathy." Jack motioned to a chair, so I sat, waiting. "Tell me, is this how you intend to come to work from now on? As a woman I mean? It's been a whole week and a few days now, and I have to say, you always look very nicely dressed."

"Is there a problem? I asked, "Because if there isn't, then yes, I thought I would, why do you ask?"

"Did you know" he asked me, "that we were directed by the government to open our hiring and promotion lists to minorities?" I nodded my head yes. "In effect" he said, "the word minority means anybody that isn't male or white, but that leaves me with a very wide criteria to choose from. Since you are telling me that this is how you intend to dress from now on, which makes you a minority by the way, I am pleased to tell you that you will be promoted to V.P. effective next Monday. That said, you will have to legally change you name in order to facilitate my obligations to the guidelines. Can you do that?"

"Of course" I said quickly.

"I will announce your promotion on Friday at the general staff meeting. Until then please keep this to yourself."

"I will sir!" I said to him, a grin on my face.

"Fine! Your new office will be the third one down the hall here, but as I said, you won't be able to move into it until Monday." As I turned to leave…"When Bill told me that he was taking you to his family reunion I wasn't quite as shocked as you might think Kathy, I saw the way you two were acting at that party. I'm looking forward to talking to you then, in a less formal atmosphere."

Bill stopped by to say hello, and while I was bursting to ask him if he got promoted as well, I also couldn't tell him I had, and it wasn't the place to mention what Beverly had said, so it was a very quick in and out meeting. I did ask him to call me later that night however. When he did call, I told him what Bev had said, which clearly made him angry, but I told him not to say anything to her. "Just don't call her" I told him. That week went by quickly and with each passing day everyone got used to seeing me as a woman, most simply shrugging their shoulders but not saying anything. My lawyer had my name changed by Thursday, so I was legally Kathleen Elaine, age 23. I had told mom what was required, and while she didn't like it, she understood, and gave me her blessing, even suggesting my middle name. On Friday morning I wore a gray skirt with a white mock turtleneck top and a pink jacket with gray heels, my hair and makeup almost perfect.

When Jack made the announcement of my promotion, he did not give any reason and didn't mention any guidelines about minorities, and as I stood up there was modest applause. When the next promotion was made, it was not, as we figured, Bill. Instead, Stan took the second slot. A crestfallen Bill stood against the wall a smile on his face, but his body language said it all. Since there was nothing I could do, I remained where I was until the meeting was over. Jack asked both Stan and I to join him in his office, so I left Bill standing there.

"The reasons for your promotions are not important, but just so there isn't any bickering, Kathy will have the office next to mine and you'll have the next one down Stan. Kathy has a bit more seniority, so I am giving her the nod and making her a Senior V.P., which is of course another jump for her. I am going to let her run the day to day operations while you will control all of the outside operations. You will of course, report to her."

"I have" I said, "A few questions. Such as, who will take the jobs we are vacating, and who will take over as the C.F.O., which was Stan's job?"

"Those decisions are now yours Kathy. You are now in charge of all promotions and hiring, and sadly, firings as well. Why? Do you have someone in mind?"

"Well…" I said, "Everyone knows that Bill was on the promotion list, so why not move him up to C.F.O.? I'll review everyone's files and make the other promotions required. That will move him up another level, give him a few more bucks, and also, more authority."

Jack looked like he had swallowed a live frog, so I knew something was wrong. "Bill has had a complaint drawn against him Kathy, and I simply cannot let him be promoted in the face of the complaint, I'm sorry."

"Can you tell us the nature of the complaint?" Stan asked.

"Of course. Beverly has filed a sexual harassment case against him."

"That's a crock" I said, "Beverly was in my office just last week telling me that she and Bill were a couple and warning me to stay away! I told Bill, and he said that he would talk to her. I'm guessing he did, and this is her answer!"

"Since you're so intimate with all of the facts" Jack said, "then you settle it. If Bill comes out okay, then yes, give him the C.F.O. job." Turning his head, "Stan, I want you in the room any time this subject is discussed. It will eliminate any confusion later."

Stan and I immediately went to my office where I called Beverly in. Stan shut the door and stood in front of it.

"Beverly, I am now the Senior V.P., and I have complete authority for the entire staff. You have filed a complaint against Bill, but somehow, we all know it's a bogus claim. Would you care to explain it to us?" I thought she was going to choke for a moment, but she didn't say a word. "let me tell you how I see it Beverly" I told her, "you and Bill went out a few times, but it didn't work out. You couldn't accept that, but as long as he wasn't seeing anyone, you thought you were okay, right up to the moment you saw Bill and I together. Then you came in here and virtually threatened me! When Bill called you on it, you filed the complaint!" Looking right at her…"Tell me hon, how am I doing?"

"You bitch!" she almost screamed, "You took Bill away from me!" Stan started to laugh, which made Beverly even madder. "Why are you laughing?" she demanded.

"Have you forgotten? Kathy is in transition! She isn't even a complete woman yet! How could she possibly compete with you?"

I thought Beverly was going to explode, but I pushed her harder. "Now that we have all of the facts, would you like to withdraw your complaint? Or shall I?"

She was on the verge of bursting into tears, but she said it. "Okay! Withdraw it! And I quit!"

"Your resignation is accepted!" I said, "Stan, will you see that she removes all of her personal things and leaves the building? Say, within 30 minutes?"

"Sure thing" he said to me, then turning to Beverly…"Shall we go? Quicker is better I think, don't you?"

Stan escorted her out then I called in Bill and gave him the good news, telling him which office to take over. He left and I started in on the personnel files. Our company had just landed a gigantic contract with the government, which is why Jack was able to promote so many people at one time, as well as add new staff. Stan already had a secretary, so she moved with him, I selected Nancy and let Bill chose Janet. It was about two weeks before everyone had been slotted into the new jobs or reassigned, which took us up to the weekend of the reunion party. The weather promised to be warm and sunny, and I made mental notes on what I was going to wear. Bill said that he would be over to get me at nine in the morning, then he left for home at the end of the day.

I had a choice of course, khaki shorts and a thin top, or maybe a lightweight summer dress. I decided on wearing the dress to start out with, but took a swimsuit and my shorts plus a top in a small bag. Covering any eventuality had become a habit, especially after that time I snagged my hose on my desk, then of course, a pair of new shoes that almost tore my feet off they were so tight. After that I kept new pantyhose and sneakers in my desk, just in case! It had been almost a month since that first time I had dressed as a woman, and my entire life had changed. Things that I never considered before became important, like how I looked. Before this all started, I took everything for granted, but as a woman, I had to maintain a certain level of dress, then of course, crude jokes that the guys used to tell me faded away as they began to think of me as a woman. The way they treated me, spoke to me, and acted around me all changed as I lost slowly lost that connection to the male world.

That morning as I stood there in the shower I realized just how much I liked being a woman. For all of the losses, I had gained much more. I gained an insight to myself, found that I related better to people as a woman, "something softer about me" my secretary told me, and my awareness of my body and all of the new parts also played a major part. I had become used to having breasts and no manhood, rounded hips and a cushier bottom, but also longer hair and thinner eyebrows that went along with my nails. In effect, I had become a woman, and to my great surprise, I didn't mind it one bit. Only one thing remained for me to explore, but I simply could not bring myself to believe that I would do for a man what all women do. It was the one last bastion of my manly pride that remained, and as silly as it sounds, as much as I was curious, I wasn't eager to have a man in my bedroom just then, if ever.

As I began to get dressed I thought about what Bill was doing. He was using me as a foil to keep one of his Aunts from trying to get him hooked up with some girl, but since he had missed out on being promoted, there wasn't any reason for him to pretend that he and I were together, ostensibly a couple. He could be with anyone. I picked out a bra, the light cotton one with underwires and pair of plain white cotton panties. No pantyhose since it was a picnic, then pulled the dress on and zipped it up. It was just loose enough to be comfortable yet tight enough to reveal my figure. Then, at the last minute, I changed my mind, took the dress off and pulled on the shorts and top, slipped on my ankle socks and gym shoes, then put on my makeup. I had become adept at keeping my skin smooth and soft, and I had learned how to do various kinds of makeup well enough that I could get by on the barest minimum if I had to. On that day I wore pale eye shadow, liner and lipstick. Button earrings with a gold bracelet, some perfume, and I was ready.

Bill was on time, and we drove to the park, about half an hour away. Bill didn't say much on the way over, except to tell me thanks for being there. When we reached the picnic, we were greeted by the very woman that kept trying to set him up, but once she set her eyes on me her face lost it's smile. While everyone was polite and treated me as family, Bill kept his distance which baffled me until Jack took me by the arm and we walked down by the lake.

"Bill" Jack said softly, "is having a very hard time with his situation Kathy. I had to make a choice, and Stan had been the C.F.O. for almost two years, so he was due, but now Bill has to report to you, and that's at the same time he is attracted to you. That puts him in a tough spot, and I'm sure that you can see that. He'll never be sure that any attempt on his part to romance you won't be misconstrued by you, or for that matter, anyone else. If you promote him, how could he be sure it was on his own merit? On the other hand, how can either of you be sure that by his attentions towards you, you won't give him an assessment that is fair? It's impossible Kathy, and that's why he is being less…attentive than he might be."

Jack told me only what I had already felt, which only made my dilemma worse. I started dressing as a woman to get promoted, then later found out that I didn't mind it at all, and frankly, didn't look as bad as I had first thought I would. Mom had helped me a great deal, my brother teased me at first, but soon quit after we had been together a few times. My staff all treated me as a woman, so both at work and at home I was never without the constant knowledge that I had, for all intents, become a woman. I watched as Jack walked away, and as I looked out on the lake, I realized that I had a very serious choice to make. I could stay as I was, merely a man with silicone padding and a nice haircut, or take the next step and move on with my life as a woman. Lost in thought I didn't hear him when he walked up.

"Hi" the voice said lightly.

Turning I saw Kevin, a distant cousin of Bills. "Hello" I said, "you're Kevin, right?"

"Are you and Bill…you guys together?"

"Not really" I said, "we're just friends."

"Good!" Kevin said as he moved closer. "Then maybe you'll let me take you to dinner?"

Kevin stood there naked to the waist, his shoulders broad and very muscular, his chest covered in dark curly hair, his shorts just tight enough, but his smile radiated when he looked at me. Kevin was very handsome, about my age, and was in law school. I didn't have any doubt that his social calendar was always full.

"Friday night?" he said, turning on his smile again.

With a nod of my head I agreed, then we walked back to the rest of the party where I gave him my card, writing my home address on the back. As he drifted away I saw Bill staring at me, his face screwed into what seemed to be a rueful resignation of what we both knew was happening. Bill took me home later that afternoon, dropping me off at my door without so much as a peck on the cheek. I went inside and shut the door, locking it as I headed for my bedroom. My mind was tossing all of my feelings about like a small ball, so I went in the shower and just stood there, letting the hot water beat on me as I tried to wash away my regret at what had happened between Bill and I.

I made a small dinner and for the first time in a very long time I sat on the couch and sulked. Bill was my friend, and while he had been the one to start me on this path, I had also hoped that he would be there to help me in the hard times, when I was filled with doubt. That night when I went to bed I wore my laciest, sheerest nightgown I owned.

I felt the zipper of my dress going down, then his hand as he fiddled with the clasp on my bra, then the freedom as my bra loosened and my breasts fell a little. His hand was hot on my bare back as he stroked me until I was unable to do anything but purr. I was lost. I was another person, a woman that this man wanted, a sex object of his intense desires, and I liked it! I broke away, ready to dress and leave, but he took one step, and with a hand on each of my shoulders, slowly pulled the dress away from my shoulders, letting it drop to the floor, and leaving me standing there in my panties, heels, and pantyhose. He took the bra which hung from an elbow and cast it aside, then began to unbutton his shirt. By then I was so far gone that I slapped his hands away and began to undress him myself. Yanking his shirt away I saw his hairy muscular chest and rippling muscles, but quickly unbuckled his pants and pulled them down, letting him step out of them. Taking me by the hand we went in his bedroom where I fell on the bed in as sexy a pose as I could, watching as he slipped off his boxers, leaving him totally naked, his hardness no longer a mere lump on my leg but a throbbing weapon that we both knew I was about to use…somehow.

I felt his weight on the bed and lay back, not knowing what to expect, but sure that I was about to cross a line that I never imagined I would, yet as he lay next to me, his hands pulled me closer even as his lips found virtually every point on my body that would turn me on, which he most certainly did. Then my hand found him, circling his hardness, which felt huge, and began to stroke him. He was patient, driving me almost crazy when his tongue found the soft underside of my throat, then all at once he was on top of me, sitting up as he straddled me, then using a mere finger, he traced a line from my nose to my toes, then moved off of me, moving up to my face. Still on his knees, my face was virtually in his groin, his weapon just millimeters from my lips when I felt his hand on my head, then a gentle tug, and I felt him entering me. As much as I always thought it was gross for someone to take a man that way, it actually wasn't bad at all. Using my tongue I caressed it, licked it, then took him. With my hands by my side, all I could do was let him set the tempo, then I moved a bit and was able to use my hand to hold his butt.

Being in bed with a man had never been on my agenda, but since it was a fact, I gave in to the total sensation of having someone treat me that way. Pushing him on his back, he lay there while I got on all fours and once again attacked his manhood, using everything I could think of to drive him crazy, but once my lips encircled him, he grabbed my head and pushed down just as he erupted in pulses that I could feel hitting the back of my throat. By that point I quit being anything but a woman in rapture, and kept a firm lip lock on him until he finally quit. He lay there grinning, but I was on fire, unable to extinguish a need that he had led me to discover, so I lay next to him with my nails running through the hair on his chest, tickling his groin, and softly kissing his nipples. Slowly he began to rise, and my lips found him again, making him hard once more.

When I got on all fours again he put his hand in my groin, then I felt his finger inside, pushing against me, tickling my most sensitive spot until I was a quivering mass of excited nerves, then he quickly got up behind me, and with careful yet masterful manipulation penetrated me. I could feel every inch of him as he stroked in and out, faster and faster until he grabbed my hips hard and released. I had no idea that a man could feel so good, but I was pleased to see that he had collapsed on the bed, spread eagled and panting. I flopped on the bed laying to him, wondering what ever could come after what I had just done.

I awoke with a start, sweat running from my body in rivers, drenching the bed. Getting up I looked around and realized that I had experienced the most intense dream of my entire life. Standing there I felt remorse filling me, and ran in the bath, slamming the door shut. Using the bath I felt as if it had really happened, yet I was alone in the darkness, and as I sat there I wondered why the only face I remembered was Kevin's. I cleaned up a bit before I went back in the room to change into a different nightgown and ripped the sheets from the bed. I had a long night that was etched into my memory, and nothing I could do would shake it. My emotional roller coaster had reached a peak with that dream, the single most revealing thing was when I took him into my mouth and didn't hesitate to be the woman he wanted me to be, and afterwards, when the excitement wore off, I was still sexy and desirable. In my dream I had let a man use me like he would any woman, and more, I loved it. When my alarm went off I grabbed my clothes and began to get dressed. There was no shower that I could take that would wash away the way I felt, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to wash it away.

Around noon the next day Kevin walked in, resplendent in a charcoal gray suit. Tall, he exuded confidence and the way he walked sent that message to anyone that looked at him.

"Kathy!" Nancy said as she walked into my office, "There is a total hunk out here that wants to see you!"

Nancy isn't given to hyperbole, so I got up to see who was there, and saw Kevin standing there! I admitted him to the office, then, as we stood there, he took my hands in his.

"Kathy" he said as he moved closer, "there wasn't any way I could wait until Friday night! You're all I have on my mind, so I stopped by to ask you to lunch. Maybe we can figure this out together."

It was at that exact moment that I knew, and eagerly let him take me to lunch. Later, when I returned to work, I made several calls, the first to my own doctor. Kevin and I went out for lunch, then Friday and Saturday nights. I felt drawn to him in ways that I never expected, so that Sunday, I went to see mom. She would have to know the answer, and besides, I had to tell her that I was forever going to be a woman.

"Mom" I said, "I'm not Gay, but I…"

"That's right!" she told me, "you're NOT Gay! You have become a sexy desirable woman that this young man finds irresistible! You made the choice to live and work as a woman, and while I wasn't fond of the idea, I can see now that it was the right decision, yet now, just like any other woman would, you have met a man that makes you tingle all over, right?" I said nothing, only nodding my head yes. "Come with me for a moment honey." I followed mom into her bedroom, then…"I want you to undress, stand here, then tell me what you see." It sounded ludicrous, but I did what she asked, then she took me by the hand and stood next to me in front of the mirror. "Tell me" she asked, "tell me exactly what you see." What I saw was a naked woman with tears in her eyes. "Damn it Kathy! You're a woman now, and whether you like it or not, your dream just proved it! I don't know honey, maybe you always were a woman on the inside and just didn't know it!"

As I got dressed mom watched, then the two of us went to have some coffee. Jeff showed up for his usual Sunday visit, and after mom gave me the "look" I told him that I was going to go through the change and become a real woman. To my shock, he wasn't surprised one bit!

Kevin went back to law school while I started in the transition program. Within a few months I had some development, and within six months my beard was completely gone, which eliminated the need for me to always wear makeup. By then I had quit using the breast forms, Bill had resigned, Jack retired, and I was named as the CEO. Kevin had been sending me torrid, as in burning, e-mails every day, and I knew that the moment I saw him he and I would…in any case, I pushed hard to have the surgery, managing to become a woman just a month before Kevin came home, just in time for me to prove that I was all the woman he would ever need, and I did. That dream? Well, it all came true and better, there was much more. Kevin and I took an entire week off, traveling to the coast, enjoying each other every minute.

I have money, a man, and I'm a woman. What more could I want?



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