The rebirth of hope.

A seasonal story with precepts for the wise by Mistress Allie Elle,

The mall was its usual throng of mid December Christmas shoppers bustling for position and that last must have bargain. The crowds were almost close to being a snarling beast and the gods help anyone caught in its thrall. Children clung desperately to parents and partners held to each other like drowning men to a life raft. In the middle of it all by the fountain covered in fake snow and switched off in homage to the season a small group of faux Dickensian carollers were in the middle of a rendition of we three kings. Behind them a group of bored teens were hunched over their phones lost to the activity around them.

Watching all this was a young figure, outwardly it appeared just about ten years old. That was until you looked at its eyes. Looking into those two green pools they showed eons of pain and suffering, if someone looked at them they would think that no one should have suffered what this small frame had been through. There was also some cunning there a survival instinct of an animal cornered too often. The eyes scanned around the crowds looking for an easy target, the eyes were not after a malicious theft but they needed to find some form of food or money.

The eyes belonged to young Jonathon Ricks; he was not a bad kid but his family situation caused him to be on the streets more than in the run down house. His mother had died two years ago and his father had fallen foul of addictions. The latest squeeze of his father was a biker chick with a problem having the twelve year old in the house. He looked younger due to health problems caused by a history of health problems and the fact that his family had always lived just below the bread line. His hair was matted and tangled and his clothes were far from laundered.

The mall security could not keep an eye on him either as they were pushed to deal with the crowds. Jonathon saw a young woman drop her purse and a couple of bills fell to the floor and the woman did not even notice it. He saw his chance and darted out his small size a benefit when it came to this, as the woman who had dropped the bills stood up Jonathon’s hand closed on the bills and he made it look as though he was helping her to her feet.

“Hope you are okay miss?” Jonathon smiled as he slid his hand into his jeans and looked down as though to blush.

“Yes thank you, just a little spill no harm done” the woman replied and closed up her purse.

Jonathon smiled as he made his way back to the edge of the fountain and pulled out the crumpled bills. His eyes widened when he saw just how much was there, in his hand he now held four fifty dollar bills. This was the first ever time he had seen such an amount of money in his hands and he realised if he was careful he could eat well for a good few days. Smiling to himself he slipped further into the crowds and made his way out of the mall. He did not want to pay the mark-up that the food court put on items and he also knew that sometimes small mom and pop stores were the better deal.

Walking down the main strip away from the mall he entered into the run down area where he lived and with a smile decided to head to Aronstein’s. He loved hanging around Rebecca Aronstein and her husband Jacob. The elderly Jewish couple had a soft spot for him as they had known his mother, Many times the two of them would tell Jonathon stories about his mother and her growing up in the area. He slipped three of the fifties into his sock and carried on walking always keeping an eye on his surroundings as this was gang territory. A lot of the gang heavies were always pressuring him to join for “Protection” but he did not want to have anything to do with that life. The image of his father and his latest filled his mind and steered him away from that life of crime. As he neared the slightly run down stoop of the store he could see Rebecca stood by the door with her usual smile.

Rebecca saw Jonathon walking towards the store and she looked around the door at her husband. With a tilt of her head she motioned to him that they were soon to have a visitor. Jacob smiled as he knew exactly which visitor would bring that smile to his wife’s face. Jonathon was always welcome at their store and the small apartment above and in fact had been a regular visitor. The couple did view the young man as an adopted son; they also knew how much of a struggle it was for him.

Jonathon smiled as he held up the fifty and saw Rebecca smile and nod.

“Well my boy seems Santa was early this year?” She asked with a smile.

“Yes mama Rebecca though can’t let dad know” Jonathon frowned.

Rebecca knew that if Jonathon’s father found any cash on the boy then it would either be drank or spent on drugs. She shook her head knowing that the child would have to be cunning to make sure that he was still able to eat. She did not know though that he had another three bills in his sock and he was not going to let on about it and make sure he could still eat. He walked into the store and started to make selections feeling for the first time he could actually treat himself to some candy. The elderly Jewish couple watched him as he shopped and smiled when they saw he was treating himself. After a short while he had enough for a good feed and let Jacob ring him up.

A short while later with a full stomach he let himself into the rundown house where he and his father resided. As he walked in he could hear the two adults in the house screaming at each other and with a shrug he covered his ears and climbed into the closet space where he knew he would be safe for the moment. He curled up into his usual protective foetal position and let himself tune out. In moments like this he retreated to his imagination, there was a little twist to his imagination that he could not let people know about and this was the time he opened those doors. The door opened to his secret room and his internal self smiled as he looked around.

The room was definitely not where his body was in the physical world as you looked around your eyes would be drawn to a window looking out over paddocks. The walls were cream and pink and the curtains lacy, the bed a little princess dream and covered with stuffed toys. Shelves groaned under their load of dolls and books, and the closed door open to show English riding clothes and dresses. For many years this young boy always knew he was born in the wrong body and the wrong family. His mannerisms were always gentle although toughened by having to survive and he seemed to have a way with domesticated animals. This thing was a contentious point with his father in the brief times he was lucid. According to his father after mother had died Jonathon had become more of a sissy.

In fact he had not become more of a sissy just that his mother was not around to run interference and his father had just noticed the more feminine behaviours from his son. His latest girlfriend was always on at Jonathon's father to get him to man up. No matter when his father was sober or lucid enough to really interact with his son something would interrupt. Janice his father’s latest partner would not have anything to really do with Jonathon and he was glad of that. After a long while the sounds of his father slamming around brought the young boy back to himself.

“Goddamn it boy where the fuck are you!” His father’s drunken and drug induced slurring was hard on the ears.

Jonathon buried further into the closet and started to count the seconds and then he heard the sound of his sneakers being thrown against the closet door.

“Well look here the little sissy has been turning tricks?” Janice’s voice was a sneer and Jonathon realised they had found the three fifties tucked into his sneakers.

“If the little whore has then I will kill him did not raise some faggot!” His father responded.
The voices moved off as the thought of another hit of their drugs was a greater pull than the possibility that Jonathon had been prostituting himself.

Slowly the sounds of the house descended into the silence of the night after both the adults succumbed to their drug induced highs. Jonathon crawled out of the closet and gasped when he saw the damage that the two adults had done to his possessions. The few clothes he had were scattered over the floor outside the closet and a total wreck. He looked at the damage and sighed and considered his options and looked at the pile and tears pulled at the corners of his eyes. On the top of the pile the photograph of his mother was torn and the pieces crumpled. This was the only pieces left apart from his memory of her that was left of his mother. He picked up the pieces and shoved them into the back pocket of his jeans, looking around the damage he thought about what would happen when the two of them came too and the possibility Janice would use the excuse of the money to pervert his father further.

After a few minutes he decided there was only one course of action and he picked up the only undamaged items he owned. One was a teddy bear his mother had given him and the other was a pink backpack and with one final look walked down the hallway out of the house. The snow was starting to fall in a thick blanket as he stole out of the door into the street. Due to the early hour the sidewalks were empty but well lit by the other houses having displays of Christmas decorations. Trudging through the snow he walked past the corner store and was surprised to see Jacob at the door.
“Boychik what are doing out on this night?” He asked Jonathon raising an eyebrow.

“Papa Jacob I can’t take any more,” Tears were starting to run down his face as he looked at the elderly man, “They took my money and though I had been, you know?”

“Boy, boy it’s too cold to go anywhere this night come into the warm with me and sit with Mama Rebecca” Jacob opened the door but Jonathon shook his head.

After that brief interruption and Jacob seeing the boy would not change his mind turned in the door and yelled upstairs. Rebecca came running down in a house coat and looked at the boy stood there. After a brief conversation that Jonathon could not hear she pooped back inside and came out a short while later with a bag and thrust it into Jonathon’s hands. It was well filled and he nodded his thanks and hugged the two of them and started to carry on down the street away from the neighbourhood. The two watched him as he walked away and Rebecca looked at her husband and shook her head. As his figure got smaller into the distance there seemed to be a lifting of a weight off his shoulders.

The chill settled into his bones as he walked the snow wasn’t helping the way he was feeling but he kept on walking. A few times a police cruiser passed him but he just hunched himself down and carried on walking. He was concentrating on not really bringing any attention to himself and the actions of the police cruiser seemed to point to the fact nobody cared he was not there. Slowly the sky started to lighten but with that came another problem, the fact the skies were clear meant the temperature was starting to drop further. As the air became crisper the snow underfoot started to freeze and his footsteps started to sound crisper.

He walked for hours it seemed and snacked from the bag when the need struck him; he stopped when he saw a clean bench and settled onto the cold wood. Taking the bottle of water from the bag he started to drink and look around. The sky was starting to cloud and it was the colour of the clouds that was showing that more snow was on the way. After the short break he started to walk further way from the town and he found that he was walking towards the mall without really thinking. It seemed longer this time as he found he was really walking to a new life and new start but he did not know where and how. As he reached the parking lot of the mall he was glad it was still early and the traffic was light so without problems he managed to get into the lot.

The only real movement was the security staff and other mall staff starting their day and arriving for work. He hid as he usually does and watched as the crowds started to build gently as the world came back to life and continued the preparations for Christmas. For some reason the security seemed to be very active today and there seemed to be more uniforms patrolling the shops. Also maintenance was doing a lot of work in the service ways and that created fewer spaces for him to hide from people. The crowds were starting to get thicker and moving around was getting more and more difficult even for someone as small as he was. He was being jostled and bumped from each person and he tried to keep hold of his backpack.

He was getting tired of being jostled and he slipped out of the main doors and back into the parking lot. He breathed a little easier away from the crowds and stretched himself to ease his muscles as he resettled the bag on his back. He wasn’t watching the traffic level as he slipped away from the mall and reached the main strip again and started to cross. The scream of breaks and the sound of a car horn was the last thing he heard as his body was engulfed in pain.

Francine Grantham was on her way out of the mall the crew cab ford handling the ice and snow easily. Her bunker gear hung up in the back window after she picked it up from the cleaners. As she pulled out she heard the car horn and the sound of breaks without thinking she hit the warning lights and got on the radio.

“Chief Grantham to dispatch we have a MVA possible car versus pedestrian on main, require engine 40 and ambulance 60”

“Dispatch to Chief Grantham 10-4 units being dispatched, take it careful Fannie”

With that she pulled out into the road and set her sirens briefly and pulled to the other side of the stopped car and set up her traffic director and started to look over the scene. There was a young girl on the hard top and the front of the striking car was marked with blood. The driver was out of the car and looking at the child on the road in front of him. Francine shuddered; she hated dealing with accidents dealing with children but she was a professional and a battalion chief. She stepped down out of the cab and reached into the crew compartment and pulled out the full response kit from the back and got her now clean jacket to use as a blanket.

The driver was incomprehensible but Francine was concentrating on the small figure on the road. She knelt and slowly started to look at the casualty and saw the small child was breathing but there was a huge amount of blood at the groin. The child was groaning loudly she was not worried on the airway so she started to cut away the child’s jeans and she shuddered at how filthy they were. The sirens of the approaching units were like a choir to her and she started to smile as she worked. If she remembered right Doc Harris was on duty today on the engine. Her suspicions were proved right as a rather well built middle aged fire fighter got out of the right side of the truck and walked over quickly. Doc was a little bit of an enigma he was a chief surgeon at the local mercy hospital but ever since he had been a kid he had wanted to be in the local fire department so he volunteered his time.

Doc Harris wasted no words as he knelt to look at the small frame and the amount of blood and shook his head as he took the small wrist and checked for a pulse.

“Shit Fannie, this kid looks as though it’s been butchered” Doc muttered.

“What’s the prognosis?” Fannie was starting to get concerned.

“With that amount of bleeding not good and really I don’t think mercy will be the best place to treat this one.”

“What do you want Doc? Life flight?”

“”screw those sky jockeys would prefer rescue 3 from the sheriff’s department with a full OR team”

The truck captain heard the conversation and was already calling dispatch relaying orders and getting confirmation. He nodded to Fannie and held up his hand and showed his fingers twice. Fannie nodded so did Doc and the two of them along with the paramedics started to get to work. They had the child stripped and the other fire fighters held up a blanket to create a screen as the police and an EMT looked after the driver. As the team worked they noticed all the bruising and other problems with this boy and also saw the backpack with the teddy bear. That they moved closer to the child and they continued to work. After a short while the unmistakable sound of a helicopter could be heard to be coming in low and was vectoring into a space in the parking lot. It was not a sleek aircraft but built for taking teams of people. In fact is was the helicopter the sheriff used for large operations and search and rescue as well as forest fire fighting.

Even before the rotors started to spin down the side door opened and a team of people in jackets and surgical pants were quickly running over to the accident scene carrying boxes and a specialised gurney. The first response team had set up fluids and IV’s and the surgical team took over and started to work on suturing and packing wounds. The young surgical resident that was leading the team paled at some of the lower injuries but kept a professional commentary. In ten minutes they had their casualties prepped and were heading back to the helicopter. The fire crews and paramedics were cleaning up the scene. They started back to their destinations but Doc had signed off and was waiting by Fannie’s truck with a grim expression on his face.

Jonathon was coming out of what seemed to be a weird dream, he had been hit by a car and had seen this woman to him she seemed an angel leaning over him and talking. Then it went black again and he had felt himself being moved and lifted and other things but no pain. He seemed to be floating and there was a lot of noise around him. He then felt himself travelling but still there was no pain and he felt something furry being pressed against his cheek. He realised it was his teddy and settled. After a length of time he felt himself being moved again and being laid into a firmer bed and voices talking quietly, then someone was washing him in a private place then the lights went out again.

Robert James Younger looked at the patient and pulled a grimace from his face, his team had done wonders to stabilise the child and get them here to the children’s trauma unit. The mess of the genitalia from the vehicles front fender really caused some worry but the team was specialised in this sort of work. There were a few things that were concerning to the young resident as he looked over his patient. The child appeared to be no older than 5 but there were conflicting data from the visual inspection. There was a rather damaged penis but no scrotal sack and what appeared to be a sealed vagina. On the child’s breasts the two aureoles were definitely female.

“Nurse if the patient is stable we need to get a cat scan, head to toe” He told one of his staff as he worked further to clean up the damage.

The hospital swung into action, tests were carried out and other work as they processed the patient into their care. The nurses were caring and worked well and the doctors were compassionate and also caring. Working on the information the scans and other data gave them they referred to the patient as Jane Doe and settled her into a private room. They were not going to proceed with surgery until parents could be found and had stabilised the patient enough to allow some breathing space. As the day gave way to evening the reception area played host to a rather tired and drawn out female battalion chief and one of her volunteers, they were determined to find out about the child they had treated in the morning. The receptionist was rather formal and was looking over the records and was running interference on the file when she saw it was flagged for possible abuse.

Francine was starting to get really pissed at the receptionist and growled at the way she was being treated. There was no way that she would have harmed that child and then she realised that the woman was only doing her job. Doc Harris was getting a little short of temper too until he saw a woman walking out of the elevator and smiled. Laurie Smith smiled when she saw Doc Harris and changed the direction she was walking. She was the senior social worker assigned to the hospital and had taken a personal interest in the Jane Doe case. Doc was a favourite of hers as he seemed to have a way with the vulnerable children she came into contact with.

She had the case files in her hand as she was walking towards the two and then she smiled when she recognised Francine. The two had been close friends at school but Fannie had been a tomboy and wanted to follow her father’s footsteps into the fire department. She was very much an enigma as she managed to still look girlish but have such a masculine employment. Laurie looked at the receptionist and smiled her gentler smile and nodded holding up the file. Doc saw her and smiled and the grin got even bigger when he saw the file.

“Happy Christmas Doc, Fannie” Laurie smiled as she closed the distance, “You here checking on the JD you bought in?”

“Laurie!” Fannie was surprised to see her long time best friend, “yes I was the primary responder I was just picking up my gear when I witnessed the ac”

“Well SHE is still under sedation and the damage down below is quite extensive, we do expect a full recovery from internal damage but...”

“What’s the but Laurie?” Doc asked gently.

“We need the parents to sign off on extensive surgical work even though there are signs of abuse” Laurie’s face got hard.

“Physical or sexual Laurie abuse?” Fannie asked her voice broken slightly.

“Physical only we did an anal rape kit but it was clean the front was just too damaged, without some sort of Parental or state guidance then we have to keep her sedated until we have a missing persons report.”

The two fire fighters looked at the social worker their faces clouded and Fannie was clenching her fists at her side. She hated abuse with a passion if she had not got into the fire department as a young adult she probably would of followed her friend into social work. The main reason was she wanted to end suffering for those that could not help themselves or make a difference. Doc could see his chief’s face and he reached out a gentle hand and squeezed her shoulder gently. The two stood there and Fannie cursed under her breath as she remembered something from her days as a probationary fire fighter.

“Laurie, what about a P.O.S order if a foster can be found to act?”

“Well Fannie it’s possible but in this case we would need a judge in like 20 minutes.”

“Laurie let me call Victoria you may just get your fosters in five minutes.”

With that Fannie had turned on her heel walking out of the lobby into the cold air and pulled out her personal cell phone and smiled as she dialled. After a few short rings it was picked up and Fannie’s partner answered.

“Victoria Pearson how may I help?” then a pause as the caller ID was read and a squeal, “Fannie darling what’s up your not hurt are you? I keep telling you that fire fighting lark is too dangerous for you” Victoria gushed her voice hardly stopping.

“Vic darling slow down I’m okay but I’m at the children’s, you know how we had passed the county for fostering...” Fannie paused for breath.

“Yes but we were told it would not be for at least a year darling”

“there’s a young girl here at the hospital she was involved in an MVA this morning and she’s in a bad way and,” Fannie started to sob, “her parents have abused her but they need parental consent the poor thing looks about five darling and soooo lost.”

“Fannie, take a breath and be my rough tough fire chief for a moment, these people aren’t your uncle Silas honey, but I am on the way over don’t let those social workers get in touch with the parents.”

With those words the line went dead and Fannie leaned against the wall for a few minutes to compose herself. She knew this was only the first step but it was a long step and she knew her partner and herself would do their damndest to help the child. As she walked back into the lobby she saw Doc and Laurie still stood where she had left them. Her old friend looked over at her and raised an eyebrow and Fannie smiled.

“Laurie you know me and Vic we are Fosters don’t you?” She asked.

“Sure I know and well with Vic being a psychologist may be helpful for the child, but we would still need a judge to sign off the papers.” Laurie warned.

Doc started to laugh gently and looked at the two women his eyes sparkling with humour. Opening his jacket he pulled open a pocket with a grin and pulled out a judicial seal and bowed. Laurie smacked her forehead she had forgotten that the Doc was also a panel judge and well qualified for what they needed. Also they had a witness to the affidavit that was needed to be sworn and the place of safety order in fact a whole lobby full. Very quickly Laurie was making up the document pack ready for signing and doc was waiting grinning in a way that made him appear to be an over grown schoolboy.

As the documents were being made ready Fannie was starting to realise what she had done and a frown crossed her face. She and Victoria had been setting up to take an older child as they had been looking at mainly fostering teens. She shook her head the spare room had been prepared for someone who was at least partly adult and she wondered if she needed to go out and get a load of Barbie and baby dolls etc. She was brought back to reality as Laurie nudged her arm and laid down the paperwork ready for her signature. She shook herself mentally and signed and one of the receptionists with a smile handed her a balloon with the message, “It’s a girl”, written on it. She could not help herself and laughed gently and tied the balloon to the desk a little blush colouring her cheeks. Her two friends were laughing at her as Victoria walked into the lobby her clothes looking as though they were thrown on.

After brief conversations and being told there was nothing they could do at this point apart from agree to acting in loco parentis the group broke up and the two women headed back to their cars. During the night the nurses watched the child closely and one of them noticed the teddy bear and tucked it under its arm. The child sighed in its stupor and cuddled the toy to its cheek gently; the nurse saw this and smiled. In his dreams Jonathon was smiling he was stood looking out of the window to the paddocks and two ponies were playing in the grass. He could feel the hem of the dress tickling his knees and the smell of the fresh air and the stables teased at his nostrils. He knew that in his dreams he was a girl and it felt right and he smiled, as he looked around the room everything was right and the way his body felt was also right. He concentrated in the dream and really worked on trying to wish that this was the body he had in real life also.

The following morning the surgical and trauma teams met up in a conference room and started going over options for the treatment of the child. The computer display screen at the far end displayed images of the scans and photographs of the bruising and other problems. Robert Younger looked at all the results and he did a double take at just how the child’s body was. He was surprised at the images he was looking at; the horns of a uterus were staring back. There were also the signs of the mass of breast tissue ready to but when puberty struck the child and the considered what to do with the penile shaft. They talked over the options and looked over at Laurie as she was there representing the child protective services. The major concern was the fact there was no one to take the child through the possible changes and pain.

As the group was meeting outside of town at their farmstead Victoria and Francine were looking at the spare room and frowned. It was definitely a teen’s room and they were wondering what changes they would have to make to the room and their lifestyle. The horse out in the paddock were also wondering what their humans were up to and the two foals that had been born that year were watching the house. The two women were pleased with their decisions though and would do their best for the child. They were also worried at what the child would be going through although they had very little information they would try their best for the child.

Back at the hospital the meeting was not going at all well, some of the senior surgical staff was being a little vocal. Robert was getting a little angry at his senior surgeon and his opinions about what was needed. To the senior because there was a penis to his reckoning made the patient a boy and the uterus etc was what needed to be removed. Robert was disgusted at the attitude and he was making his displeasure known. Laurie was trying to keep tempers calm but also make sure the child had some choices available to it. The hospital was also getting some pressure from some of the donors and for some reason they had been told of the child’s unique status.

Jonathon was slowly coming back to the world of the living but the light in the room seemed too bright to his eyes. The sounds of a nurse bustling around and he squinted and tried to look around, he also took stock of his body and it felt weird. The nurse saw the figure on the bed moving and she stopped what she was doing and turned and smiled.
“Welcome back to the world of the living honey” she said gently. Jonathon tried to speak but his voice seemed very quiet and his throat was sore. The nurse could see that her patient was in a little discomfort so she went and got a small cup of ice. Carefully so as not to move the small body around too much she slipped a small piece of ice between Jonathon’s lips. He smiled at the gesture and the nurse smiled back at him, she busied herself briefly setting the pillows. After she had finished she smiled and stroked the child’s forehead.

“Why don’t you give me your name honey?” the nurse asked. Jonathon looked worried and he thought that if he gave his name they would force him to go back to his father.

The nurse saw the concern on the child's face and she thought on what could cause a child to look so scared. She then remembered the bruising that had covered the body.

“Honey don’t worry you won’t be sent back to those that hurt you.”

Jonathon heard those words and a small smile tugged at his lips, the nurse seemed an honest sort so he decided it was a case of he had to trust her. Her touch reminded him of his mother and her eyes showed a lot of emotion. He reached out the arm that was not encumbered by IV’s and reached to stroke her face. She smiled and gently restrained the arm and was surprised at how thin the child was.

“I’m Jonathon Ricks ma’am, please don’t send me back” He pleaded.

The nurse could see how distraught Jonathon was but she also had to report to the team that was overseeing his care. She stroked his cheek and quietened him down, when she saw he had settled she left the room towards the nurses’ station thinking to herself that the child was too pretty to be a boy. After a brief conversation she shook her head at what the surgeons had told her and she wondered how the child would take the news. She watched over the monitor of the room and smiled as she saw Jonathon talking to his teddy bear. As she watched the child she could see that there really was more girl than boy in the child and wondered what was going through the small head.

to be continued in chapter 2 crystalis