Demon Slayer 01

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I remember the old days; I was carefree and enjoying life. I used to go by the name of Jacob.

This might not be for thew faint of heart, there is no real horror in this story that is for a later time. But do keep in mind that there is a little in this chapter.

--SEPARATOR--

But that all changed when I found out I was adopted. I asked those whom I thought my birth parents about where I had come from and about my birth parents. They said I found on their door steps one night, they looked for my birth parents, but could not be found. They asked the state if they could adopt me, with it being the 80s and a "traditional couple" and good jobs to be able to support a child the state said it was OK.

So I took this knowledge in hand, and a college degree in history. I set off to find my birth parents. But the question stood, where would I start? My first thought is I am from outer space or my parents are some wired entities. My reason for thinking this was I never got sick, most kids will get sick every now and then, but I never did I was and have been perfect healthy. Which in its self is weird, good immune system? I have no clue.

Before I set off my adopted parents whom I will always consider my parents even if I find my birth parents. Since I have a wild imagination at times I asked my parents "How would you react if I found out my birth parents weren’t normal in the sense of human beings?" My thought process of this even being a far fetch option was for these vided dreams I been having for the past few years. I am me, but I am like a female version, and I have this other form were, it can only be described as demonic form, but I take no joy in killing humans, but the thrill of hunting demons. The crassest part is I would rip their thorax out and jab down the thorax and rip their black hearts out and eat it, I would be back to 100%. I’d wake up in a cold sweet after that dream every time. Would that not be a freaky dream for you?

My parent’s response to this question was they suspected something like this, but not sure in what degree. We sat at the table talking about the dream in all of its livid detail. My father by the name of Dean Warton, just sat and listen to me talking about this dream; my mother a very sweet, full of life, love a woman by the name of Lisa Warton was worried about this dream. I still remember asking them "What the hell is wrong with me, why am I dreaming this and feeling truth behind something so messed up!!!!????"

My mother said "Honey I don't know, but there is a reason behind it. I’m just not sure what I am sorry dear." I told her, "It’s OK mom don't beat yourself up over it, we will figure it out together." My father just simply nodded his head along with me. My father mentioned an object that was found with me, he brought it to the table. He said, "Son I don't know what it is or what it is, but it was with you when we found you on our steps, it looks old and Gothic." I took the object and inspected it. The object was a necklace with a fine chain and main focus was the Gothic cross hanging off of it with an Amethyst stone in the center. It tingled while holding it, with some reservation I put it on. And nothing happen I figured it was just a memento from my birth parents so I decided to keep it on. This in my honest opinion would help guide me to my birth parents.

Oh how so right I would be.

--SEPARATOR--
Author Note, this is a quick writing and kind of made up in about hour with not real simmering time, might be some mistakes still, but I hope I got all the very bad ones. Let me know if you like to see more. Thanks for taking the time to even read this.

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Comments

Good premise

Promising plot line.
However, you need someone to edit it as it is full of typos and syntax errors.
Oddly enough it is often hard to see them if you wrote the piece, which is the reason people have editors!
Don't compress the story so much - allow it to flow and work out each piece of information so it fits conceptually with the next.
The writing style shifts from a little gothic to modern which is a slightly odd method of atmosphere injection, though I can see what you're trying to do.
Thorax is not a word commonly used and is slightly further down than the throat, so it is hard to reach at first grasp of the persons neck. You may have intended to use trachea.
Punctuation is patchy with commas in the wrong place or omitted.

Now you've had severe criticism from me, don't take it to heart, it is meant as a help not to put you off.
I certainly want to see more.

I edited this to read a little less jerkily - though it's not my normal style
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I remember the old days; I was carefree and enjoying life. I used to go by the name of Jacob.

This might not be for the faint of heart; there is no real horror in this story - that is for a later time but do keep in mind that there is a little in this chapter.

I used to go by the name of Jacob Warton. Before all this happened...

I remember the old days; I was carefree and enjoying life.

That all changed when I found out I was adopted. I asked mom and dad, whom I had always thought were my parents about where I had come from and about my actual birth parents. They related that I was found on their doorstep one night and though they and the local authorities looked for my birth parents they could not be found. They then asked the state if they could adopt me and with it being the 80s and that they were a "traditional couple" and had good jobs and able to support a child, the state said it was OK.
So taking this knowledge in hand, along with my college degree in history, I set off to find my birth parents.

But the question stood, where would I start? My first thought was, ‘I am from outer space or are my parents are some weird otherworldly entities. My reason for thinking this was that I had never been sick nor had a virus even. Most kids will get sick every now and then but I never did; I am, was and have always been perfect healthy. Which in itself is weird. A good immune system perhaps? I have no clue.

Before I set off, I asked my adopted parents whom I will always consider my parents even if I find my birth parents, (I have a wild imagination at times) "How would you react if I found out my birth parents weren’t normal in the sense of human beings?" My thought process which produced this far fetched option was because I had been having some vivid dreams not just recently but for the past few years. In them, I am me, but a female version and I have this other form where, it can only be described as a demonic form. There is no thrill in hunting and killing humans, there is only the thrill of hunting demons. The crassest part is I would rip their trachea out and thrust my hand down into the chest and rip their black hearts out and feast on them, increasing my vigour and health like an action RPG. I’d wake up in a cold sweat every time I dreamt that dream. I think anyone would consider that really freaky as a dream. Wouldn’t you?

My parent’s response to this question was hesitant but eventually they related that they suspected something like this, but not sure to what degree. Their hesitation was more to do with not wanting to sound disbelieving or incredulous, they were extending their love and support, though unable to fathom the reality of my dilemma. We sat at the table talking about the dream in allof its livid not to mention gory detail. My father’s name was Dean he just sat and listened to me talking about this dream. My mother, a very sweet, full of life, loving woman by the name of Lisa was more worried . I still remember asking them "What the hell is wrong with me, why am I dreaming this and feeling truth behind something so messed up!!!!????"

My mother said "Honey I don't know, but there must be some reason behind it. I’m just not sure what, I am sorry dear."

I told her, "It’s OK mom, don't beat yourself up over it, we will figure it out together." My father just simply nodded his head along with me. My father then mentioned an object that was found with me, he rose and left the room – reappearing a minute or two later with the object which he brought to the table.
He said, "Son I don't know what it is or what it means, but it was with you when we found you on our steps. It looks old and Gothic." I took if from my father’s open hand and inspected it. It was a necklace with a fine silver chain and a pendant of a Gothic cross with a smooth rounded Amethyst stone that seemed to suck in the light in the center. It tingled when I took it from my father and while holding it. With some trepidation I slipped the chain over my head and placed the cross to rest on my chest. As nothing happened, I figured it was just a memento from my birth parents. I decided to keep it on. Something made me think and believe that this was a key and would help guide me to my birth parents.

Oh how right I would turn out to be

On the subject of grammar.................

Never one of my strong abilities, I can spell relatively good, but I so spell check, I try to grab the right word spelling for a something that could have 2,3,4 meanings. But the dreaded comma always escapes me. One reason why I have not really have wrote any stories. Id like to think I have some ideas that would work, but my grammar skills hold back a nice product. And I think id make a bad editor for someone else. ^_^

--SEPARATOR--

I do thank you for enjoying the basic premise of the story. Though the execution is lacking a bit. I shall try better.

Get Hold Of A Decent Dictionary

It may be considered a bit old-hat these days, but a really good dictionary - by which I mean an actual book you can pick up and hold in your hand - is an aspiring writer's best friend.

Your computer can only check spelling to the extent that it compares discrete arrangements of letters against those it finds in its database. That's why it didn't pick up the typo 'thew' at the beginning of your story. It's not very common, but it's a real word so it was allowed to stay.

As for using commas, you have to let that particular skill come naturally. The thing to remember about punctuation of any kind is that it's there to make sentences easier to read. Why did I use a comma in the first sentence of this paragraph but not the second? The answer is because the first sentence was divided into two parts, the problem and a possible solution. The second sentence was a single idea.

But the most useful advice I can give you is to read. Your brain is an information processor; it recognises the grammatical constructions that allow it to do its job with the minimum of fuss and will encourage you - subconsciously - to copy them. I don't have to think about where to put commas; Charles Dickens, Raymond Chandler, J R R Tolkien, Michael Moorcock, Ursula Le Guin, J G Ballard, Clive Barker and Tanith Lee have taken care of that.

Good luck with the next instalment - and take more than a bleedin' hour over it!

Richard (touch the light)

Ban nothing. Question everything.

Maybe it's because I was just

Maybe it's because I was just playing devil may cry but this situation kind of reminds me Dante.Demon slayer,a necklace that was given to him by his unknown biological parents.I mean,they have just many things in common.

Could be............

Could be some similarities, but I have never played the game, new version or old version. Never been interested in the game, I have had this idea brewing in my head for sometime, if I could draw I think this would be better as a comic or manga. Does he have a demon form? I hope not, but my idea for soon to be her demon should be different.

Don't worry,I'm not accusing

Don't worry,I'm not accusing you of anything.Anyway I forgot to say I really like the beginning and can't wait for the next chapter!:)

Defintely,

let's have more of this story. Jenchris's idea is a good one though. Use and editor.

Vivien

A very intriguing plot, Amber.

You have yet to give a proper name to anybody, which only increases the mystery.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine