The trip home. part 12 (Conclusion)

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Promptly at ten thirty on Thursday morning Beth was sitting in the chair in Professor Tandy's office a tea cup nearby. Beth had come prepared this time with a cup of tea of her own.

The professor arrived a minute or so later. David had the printer together again and it seemed to work fine. The amount of papers on the desk seemed to be larger and in some order known only to him. The professor however didn't look quite that good.

His suit was clean without wrinkles. His face was haggard and grey though. He looked older than he had just two days before. When he saw her sitting primly in her chair in the office a cup of tea balance perfectly on a stack of books whose purpose was never to hold a cup of tea he frowned but moved himself behind the impressive desk. His brandy glass was apparently clean and on his desk upside down on a coaster. Whether the coaster was clean or not was questionable.

From his briefcase the professor extracted a thermos of coffee which he poured into the waiting brandy cup. This time he swished it around in the glass and inhaled the aroma. Beth almost giggled as she watched the mans face come alive just a little bit. He smiled and drank just a bit before relaxing back.

"Sorry about the other day Ms. Tanner. I've never been the best at holding my drink. Elaine used too run a vacuum cleaner by my head the next morning. I actually though about..." His animated face fell a bit before he took another drink of the coffee.

"Sorry. I get distracted too easily these days."

"It's alright Professor. I can tell how much she meant to you."Inside she was annoyed but mother had always taught her that a lady is polite.

"Let's see where was I before memory lane took over?" Beth started to open her mouth to help but he waved for her not too so she sat back in her chair and waited.

"Ah yes. David and his asinine idea. Elaine thought it was a good idea. At first I laughed it off but she persisted." another sip of the coffee.

"To make her happy I ran through a few ideas on how to accomplish it. At first it was to amuse her but the more I looked into it the more of a possibility it became. Don't get me wrong I still thought it was a stupid thing to do but after months of research I found that it did in fact have a very possible chance of working." another sip of coffee.

"David's idea on how to go about accomplishing it by deep hypnosis was hogwash. In case your wondering David, my assistant, is not him. Actually this David was pawned off on me by a relative. The lad is great with computers and marginally proficient with paperwork but his people skills seriously need help." more coffee from the thermos.

"I found that there was some work being done elsewhere on a similar problem by more than one company. At the time everyone was floundering around much like myself. The brain is resistant to programming of any type. The reason being that each of us are a sum total of our past experiences.

Introducing something outside of the sum total and the brain will fight it. Sorta like saying that you introduce the answer ten when the equation is four minus two it just doesn't work because you were taught to know that four minus two equals two."

Beth nodded to show she understood what he was saying.

"Now under deep hypnosis you can tell a person they see a hundred dollar bill in front of them or that they are a chicken. It will last for a short while and then the brain resets itself and all is back to normal. Stage magicians sometimes exploit this. You basically trick the brain into seeing something that is from a past memory in the here and now. You've seen people act like a chicken on television before so your brain will make you act like a chicken on stage. And with the snap of the fingers poof your back to normal.

In the case of a hundred dollar bill your brain sends the memory of a hundred dollar bill to your for front and you see the bill. You can even describe the bill it's shape, any stains, the smell. This is a technique used to sometimes help a person remember that which was once repressed. In the end of course the person will know that it wasn't there no matter how much you say it was. Why because there was no memory of the event leading up to it.

But what would happen if you managed to not only implant the picture of the hundred dollar bill but the memory leading up to it being in your hands? Would the picture remain? That was the theory I started from.

At the time I suppose Dead was just happy I was doing research of any kind I guess so I started projectone. Using student volunteers I set about trying to create a memory. I failed miserably. If not for Elaine I would have given up entirely. For all of my experiments I used volunteers who signed waivers and had full knowledge going in what I planned to do.

By project three I made some progress. I was able to get a student to truly believe that he had won a hundred dollars in a poker game. It may not sound like much of an accomplishment but the poor boy was lousy at poker. I was ecstatic at the result and took Elaine out to celebrate. It was that night that she got sick for the first time." He looked down at the glass in his hand and stopped talking.

"Professor?" She prompted.

"The dean at the time I got the result was less than thrilled and considered it a fluke. In project four I got a few volunteers to believe other things. One man believed he had purchased a skirt for his girlfriend. Another student believed she had grown a mustache. Minor stuff nothing major as I couldn't seem to make anything larger stick for longer periods.

They would believe some stuff but not others. It was truly vexing but I kept at it. My progress did not go unnoticed though. By the time I was finishing project five a Mr. Greg approached me. The name is of course totally false but his credentials seemed sincere. More importantly his money donations into the project were an incentive. Even volunteers want something for their time.

When Elaine passed away I threw myself into the project as a way to combat the grief I suppose. Time seemed to fly by as I made more and more progress. Little by little it seemed. In almost no time at all it seemed I was at the door to begin project 14.

Mr. Greg supplied me with some hallucinogenics and well a truth serum of sorts. All legal with loads of paperwork. The project now included myself and a few medical personnel. One of our last subjects reacted badly to a program attempt.

Our goal in project fourteen was to convince a person that they were in fact a member of the opposite sex. A very daunting proposal but one of significance. If you can convince someone totally that they are indeed of the opposite sex then re educating them to be a better member of society would by default be easier." He paused as he looked at Beth.

Beth found it hard to breath. She had to know right now badly.

"There was fourteen volunteers at the start of project fourteen. All the participants were given papers and waivers to sign before they could even commit to the exams. We wanted perfectly healthy individuals. Some of them were gay, others transgendered, while even others completely straight individuals.

Yes Ms Tanner. Eric Tanner was one of them."

Elizabeth just sat in her chair unmoving.

"At the start of the program Eric signed waiver after waiver. Some of which were supposed to be signed by your parents with their full knowledge. I get the impression that was not in fact the case?"

She shook her head.

"Interesting. I suppose the young man was attracted to the offer. As participation in the program his school fees and tuition along with all his books and housing would be taken care of. I can only guess that you were concerned about your parents. I was impressed with Eric Tanner such a good man.

As part of the program to make the best possible chance for success each student was put under hypnosis with a combination of mild relaxants and hallucinogenics. Much like a mild form of that drug you kids use. Ecstasy I think the name is. During that time we recorded everything we could as we had each of you describe your past as much as possible from your earliest memories."

He paused as he sipped his coffee before continuing again. Beth was unmoving in her chair. She needed to know this.

"Most of the participants gave a history over the period of three days. Eric was different his history was more detailed and took over a week. When we assembled you it was from three other girls histories combined. That in itself was a bit of a masterpiece to put together.

For most of the volunteers we told them of their pseudo history straight out from beginning to end. For you I believe it was done differently. The assistant at the time may have done just one tiny thing different with you. I'm not positive though. The sessions were recorded but I no longer have access to those recordings."

He made a face at that remark. Beth wanted to ask why but was afraid too.

"As you can guess my anonymous benefactor worked with the government. After you had not reverted within a year he confiscated all my research materials including those records. Damn it to hell!" He slammed his fist down on the desk hard causing Elizabeth to jump in her seat.

"Sorry my dear. You see most of the other subjects in the experiment reverted to themselves after a time. All the women did within the first month. I suspect that was due to a woman's menstrual cycle but don't quote me on that."

She nodded.

"The first of the men were the transgendered individuals and the one openly gay man. They did not take it well at all. I guess the horror of past conflicts got to be too much for them. One is currently in intensive care and will probably never be anything more than a drain on resources as he is little more than a vegetable state. The other two were buried shortly before he tried. A sad case in all. I'm so sorry about that it was a complete shock to me at the time. I will never be able to pay enough penance for those individuals. If not for me they may still be alive."

"Professor no! You can't.." she started.

"I can and damn well will woman! It's my fault and I should pay for it and I will."

"Yes sir. However.."

"No Elizabeth. What I did was a crime even if all the legal aspects were covered by others it is still my fault those three died."

The professor yanked open a drawer and removed the bottle. He turned green a bit as he looked at it before putting it back. He poured more coffee into the glass and drank in silence for a minute or two.

"Of the five men left two reverted after four or five months. I suspect that each had a bit of a crossdresser past to begin with but that is not uncommon. One dropped out and is making good money as a female impersonator. The other dresses from time to time. After eight months another reverted but has chosen to continue on in his or her role for the rest of her time at university. The fourth I'm not positive when she reverted as she has proceeded with her real life test so she can get surgery in a year or two.

That leaves you. As with all the volunteers each of you had a counselor assigned to you to keep track of your progress or lack there of. Any signs of distress has also been monitored. Even more so after those three. You have not once reverted to your former self. If anything according to reports I get you have grown even more feminine since the time you started.

The phrase I gave you was supposed to revert your memories. It was a part of the program that each individual be given a catch phrase to revert you should something serious develop. Upon my mentioning it your suppressed memories should have come forth. In a very simple sense Eric should have woken up. I could tell though that did not happen and I'm unsure as to why as it should have worked."

"So.. my brother.. I mean I'm.. or I was Eric? But how is that possible? I'm a girl I don't have boy parts? Shouldn't I have boy stuff? You mentioned hormones but I have never taken any unless my medication for my menstrual cycle has some but .." she was babbling as the professor interrupted her.

"From a previous project it was found that if the body didn't match the perception it would not work. In the case of the women it was programmed into them that they had suffered gynecomastia as teenagers and that they hated the breasts binding them. It almost worked.

In the men our medical team used a technique to basically turn a mans penis and scrotum into an approximation of a woman's vagina. I'm told there was no visible scarring but a regular gynecologist would be able to tell. In your case you were told that you have a shallow vaginal opening and were prescribed medication to prevent a menstrual cycle you don't actually have.

Your medication does have a small amount of hormone in it but it is such a small amount it would have had almost no effect on your development. Obviously something else has happened as you are unquestionably a woman now. I realize you may not be up to such but I really would appreciate it if we could have some tests scheduled on you to determine how this came about. Nothing life changing or threatening I can assure you. This will be entirely up to you however I do recommend it."

She nodded.

"Let me know when you are ready for that dear."

"What do I tell my parents or his parents? Who am I?"

The professor came around the desk as quickly as he could as he saw the girl go into a panic attack. He placed both of his hands on her arms to get her attention.

"Elizabeth look at me!" he commanded when she did he continued" You are Elizabeth Tanner. A young woman who belongs to a sorority. Incidentally you got into that sorority all on your own with no help from us. Your classes were all of your own choice and all your accomplishments in those classes are entirely yours."

She nodded as tears fell from her eyes.

"I will contact your parents and explain everything that has happened with what proof I have. Do not worry about it. For now just go on with your classes as best you can. However should you feel at any way upset and need to leave tell your professors to contact me."

Elizabeth nodded her head. Not trusting herself to speak at this time. The professor however was not fooled.

"Miss Tanner please sit down I'm going to call your therapist. Let's see Ms. Therrian is that correct?" At her nod he phoned her therapist and talked for a moment or two.

She did not have to wait long before Shelly Therrian came to get her and led her back to her office. She was able to hold it till she got into the familar comfortable small office with it's comfy black leather couch. As soon as she sat down it all came out in a gush of tears. Elizabeth cried long and hard in the office. She eventually cried herself out and fell into a sleep curled up on the couch.

When Beth came too she found someone stroking her hair lovingly. When she looked up her mother, Beverly was there and she found herself crying more as she opened up about what had happened to her and to Eric. She still could not see herself as Eric nor as anything other than the girl she had always remembered being.

"Oh mom!" She wailed into her mothers lap."Eric was me."

"Yes." she said softly to the girl in her lap.

"I don't know what to do. I should try my best to be your son again but I don't know how. I know I should be able too but I don't remember any of it."

"Yes." she continued to stroke the hair of her daughter. Until she made to sit up.

"Mom what are you doing here?"

"That man called us so we came." She said man as if it was a distasteful word.

"But that's a two hour drive how could you.." She trailed off as she looked to the window. She had thought someone pulled down the blind but it was pitch black outside instead.

"You've been asleep for awhile E."

"What... what do you know?"

"Everything. I still don't believe it all but I think.. No! I know it is true even if I don't want to believe it. I should be upset at you, well the other you.. but your not Eric so I can't be mad at you."

"But mom I am ..."

"No sweetie I don't think you are." She paused for a moment as if collecting her thoughts" And .. I don't think you can be Eric. Not anymore at least."

"Mom .. What? That makes no sense! All I have to do is stop with the girly things and.."

"And kill yourself trying to be something you apparently no longer are?"

"What? No I just need a hair cut and some tape and then I can.."

"Be a girl failing to be a boy." Beverly finished.

"Mom it's not like that. I was a boy once it shouldn't take me much to be one again. A buzz cut first and then some clothes..."

"Elizabeth Marie Tanner you will NOT cut your hair!"from the tone alone Beth knew it was a command from her mother. Her mother then slide over to be beside her and hugged her.

"E while you were asleep your father and I talked things over with the Professor. He is willing to try to make you a boy again as much as possible but without his notes and the records he said at best you would be more of a tomboy than anything else. You are just too much of a girl now to go any other way. I'm sorry sweetie."

"But what about Eric? Where did I come from then? I feel like my whole life is a lie but it also feels so real to me."

"Yes...Professor Tandy has never had children so he wouldn't know. We talked about that as well. Eric was a product of both Henry and I. In a very real way so are you." Beth made to interrupt but was silenced by her mother voice tone.

"Elizabeth you are almost exactly the way we would have raised you. You are also the exact child that Eric would have had if he had to raise a girl all on his own. In a way you are the granddaughter we would have had born out of Eric."

"But Eric was me? I mean.."

"No Elizabeth you are not Eric. What the professor and his cronies did was erase Eric but in the process somehow you were born. To erase you to get a caricature of the two.. " for the first time Beth noticed that her mother was crying just as much as she was. She hugged her back.

"I've only known you for such a short time. To loose you on top of loosing my son. I just..."

"It's alright mom. I'm not going anywhere."

"No it's not alright! By reason I should be pushing to have my son back. But when I look and feel you all I see is my daughter. To loose my daughter so soon after finding her it would just ..." and she gushed tears making the last few words unintelligible.

The two Tanner women sat and cried in the dark for some time. They eventually spent the whole night on that couch using up most of the kleenex in the office in the process.

Epilog

Her father Henry contacted a lawyer and together with Professor Tandy and the current Dean they poured over the available records and waivers looking for loopholes. Whoever the government man was he had covered the tracks well as not much was available legally. They did set aside a fund, mostly out of the professors pocket, for the eventual surgeries needed to complete Elizabeth.

Professor Tandy did try to hypnotize Elizabeth but it was found she had an aversion to the normal procedure. A doctor was called to administer and watch over her as a diluted form of Ecstasy was used in conjunction with the hypnotherapy. No sign of the once very male Eric could be found.

The professor still believed that there should be a sign of Eric somewhere as he cannot have completely disappeared. What few notes from his experiments that he had stored at his house and in the office he poured over day after day.

The promised examinations, including Elizabeth's first pelvic exam even if her memories said otherwise, were completed. Scans were taken along with some probes inserted. Her body was indeed producing the normal amount of hormones for a woman her age. It was judged that her testicles were actually what is know as Ovotestis. Professor Tandy and the medical doctors believed that somehow she had caused them to change. It was a well known fact that people's emotions and mental state had a profound effect on the human body making it sicker. They believed that in her case it was quite the opposite but they could not prove otherwise yet.

Elizabeth's tuition fees and other expenses were completely covered for as long as she remained at university. She did take advantage of the nose job offer after much pestering from her mom. Her new cute button nose matched her grandmothers quite well. The effect changed how her face looked to the extent that it was now almost impossible to see a resemblance between Elizabeth and Eric. She was still very much her parents daughter.

The family gathered together at the beginning of December, the adult members, to discuss what had happened with Elizabeth. While not every member of the family believed what they heard they did accept it to a point. It was her aunt who suggested that having a funeral for Eric would allow closure. It seemed silly at first but the idea quickly grew.

Beth's plans for the future at first was to switch to the mechanical engineering that Eric had wanted but her parents talked her out of that so she stayed in her business administration course. It was her mother that suggested that maybe she could come up with fashions for women who worked in rough occupations. Beth agreed that many of the current clothing available for women did not stand up to rough occupations. Most of the cloth used was as delicate as they were so did not last very long.

A few days before the funeral for Eric, Elizabeth was at her mothers home when most of her aunts came to visit along with her female cousins. They shocked her to tears as they proposed to build a new building in the town just for her to market her fashions designs when she finished university. She declined the honor at first however two of her cousins were urging her to accept. After much debate, a fair amount of chocolate and baked goodies, she agreed to the proposal only if half the place was to be a spa that her cousin would run. The idea of a spa in the family was of even more interest and plans were made.

The Tanner spa and Boutique was quickly drawn up on paper and the cement foundation poured before the first snow fell. Although some of the family was reluctant to pitch in a the reception before the funeral it seemed that many of her family was willing to donate time into building the new building. Her family had varied backgrounds some were electricians, others venting specialists, plumbers, carpenters and so forth who saw it as an affront that the women would wish to see one of their competitors for the project.

Come spring there was a very good chance that the building and it's materials would be mostly paid for even before the first wall went up. When she asked about the property her father and a few uncles sheepishly admitted that they were planning to build a small shop for Eric and mostly themselves to work out of. She vowed to herself that if the business took off she would have a small shop built out back for the males of her family.

The day of the funeral dawned overcast with a chance of snow. Elizabeth and her mother had been up for awhile getting ready for the funeral. She and her mother wore matching mother daughter fitted black skirt suits, shadowblack pantyhose and low pumps. She was sitting in her new room at the antique vanity she remembered so well as her mother came in. She was dressed almost identically to her daughter. Her small fashionable but rather useless hat with its black veil was flipped up and out of her eyes. Her mothers black gloves were still in her purse.

Beth was having a difficult time getting her hair up into a bun on the back of her head so that she could then pin the hat with its veil into it.

"Here let me." Her mother took the brush from her daughter and brushed out her daughters hair lovingly. It seemed like all she did was brush flip and pin and there was the perfect bun.

"That's so not fair! I've been fighting with my hair for an hour!"

"E I have been playing with hair since before you were a baby. I'll show you some tricks later."

"Thanks mom."

"Anything for my sweet lovable baby girl!"

"I'm not a little girl anymore!" She protested but the smile on her face said otherwise. She would always be her mothers little girl.

In fact as far as the legal history was concerned Elizabeth Marie Tanner had always been a girl. Her medical history along with her scholastic records had all been changed to reflect that. It was a surprise to the family when they found out how easy it had been. There was some speculation that the unknown government man had his hand in that but, of course, nothing could be proven.

With her hat now pinned into place Beth and her mother descended the stairs to greet her smiling father. She was still not used to seeing a smile on his face but she was getting used to it. He was overly protective of her, sometimes in the extremes where boys were concerned, but she loved the lunk all the same. She hugged her father carefully before they proceeded to the church in the Diplomat.

At the church the mass proceeded during the funeral proceedings. The coffin with the picture of Eric on it seemed a little out of place. All knew the coffin was empty yet in some way it was full as well. As the funeral proceeded someone openly cried which set off Beth and her mother. There was a few tears on her fathers cheek as well.

Although it was not planned a local bagpiper had volunteered to play. Eric was to get a military style send off as the opening notes of Amazing grace started. The bagpipe and it's unique sound reverberated off the walls. The church and its amazing accoustics turned the simple single bagpipe into something more, much more.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Elizabeth's clear soprano rang out throughout the church as she sang the first verse. At the start of the second her mother joined her. At the start of the third verse most of the large gathering in the church joined in. The lone bagpiper was joined with the pipe organ but neither could compete as the volume of those singing rose.

Her father moved from his place and as if on que so did her uncles. Each of them grabbed a handle and effortlessly lifted the dark oak coffin from it's pedestal. Nobody stopped singing as the people moved aside for the coffin. As the coffin passed each pew people moved to follow it.

Once all the people had followed out after the coffin the inner french glassed doors of the church closed. Elizabeth looked around the church where things had changed so abruptly for her just a few short months ago. So much had happened in that time and yet she felt at peace.

Elizabeth Marie Tanner was finally and truly home.

The End.

--SEPARATOR--

This story is as best I can get it. I'm sure a proper author could have done justice with it.

I suppose it's not really a mystery but take from it what you will.

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Comments

I am sorry...

Andrea Lena's picture

...your story told your way. You did complete justice to Beth's story, and I'm thankful for that.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Tels.

You are a proper author so there is no reason to be sorry. You answered questions, tied up loose ends, and the end was as it had to be. I'm sure some people are outraged that Eric was obliterated that way, but what a wonderful girl came out of it. Endings don't always have to be completely satisfying, you know. As in real life, a story goes where it will. This one did and there is nothing wrong with that at all.

Amazing Grace. Such a beautiful song and quite appropriate for the final bit of this story. I for one can only say, "Good job!"

Maggie

It is a mystery

One you never gave us the answer to, so we must forever speculate x.x

What happened to Eric?

Still the story was amazing, you're a great enough writer that the Stephen King esque ending works perfectly.

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”
― Stephen King

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D

dear princesschelsea

we know what happened to Eric my dear, he even signed papers that his parents were
required to sign NOT him. Eric was a straight male but who elected to sign up to this
hypnosis thing probably for the money yet NOT believing anything like what happened
could even remotely happen as it is highly unbelievable that that level of hypnotherapy
could in fact work at all let alone have permenant lasting effects,
what should have happened and what IN fact did happen were two completely
opposite events that forever changed Eric into Elizabeth as a girly girl forever in every
conceivable way completely erasing Eric from this life forever. Can you imagine how poor
Elizabeth had to have felt when she finally got the truth and what about her parents?....in
my opinion it would have to be an incredibly strong family & very strong woman/person to
both survive such knowledge and the trauma inflicted by her family especially seeing that
their memories and hers did not match, hopefully peace within her family can now resume
knowing that what happened to her was not of her doing but Erics

The Trip Home

Yay! Tels finally finished a series!

I really enjoyed this story. Especially at the beginning when she first went home and everyone was all "WTF? Who are you? Where's Eric?" But the whole thing kept my interest well as she finally began tracking down the mystery and got her answers... Then, with the help of her family, decided what to do about the revelations.

If my shoulder wasn't bothering me so much the last few days (maybe because of the chilly, rainy weather?), I'd comment more on specific things, so I'm gonna leave it at that. I really enjoyed this, Jaci. Give your muse a kiss on the cheek for me, for letting you finish it.

Lisa

A Lovely story

littlerocksilver's picture

Some readers may not like what happened to here; however, that's life. Things did work out well for her, and perhaps that was really the best outcome. THere was something about how you wrapped things up that felt right.

Portia

The trip home has been a

mystery that has been mostly answered. The Agency that funded the Project has all too thoroughly covered it's tracks. Will Elizabeth Marie Tanner be subjected to future experiments? I hope the last line is true for her.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Elizabeth Marie Tanner was finally and truly home!

Jacilynn, I wouldn't change a word! It turned out as expected for the most part, but it is most believable in how it came about. How you chose to finish the story with the familiy coming together and rallying around Beth and giving closure to the memory of Eric is perfect hon. Elizabeth Marie Tanner is finally and truly home. I'm sure a proper author could have done justice with it, and that author's name is Tels!. Great Big Hugs for a job done well, From your Friendly neighborhood popcorn Lady! (Giggles Taarpa)

you already are

You are so much a better writer than I ever will be.

However if you wish to argue with me again...

Lil Jaci sneaks up on Dottie and starts to tickle her.

Admit it! Your the better writer! Or I'll keep tickling you!

no! Jaci is the better writer!

I'll stand for the truth, even if you make me pee my panties!

DogSig.png

what?

You mean again? Gee Dottie the last time Tante threatened to put a diaper on you?

Oh well...

Tickle tickle tickle

Admit it! Your the author not me!

there is no denying that...

... this story was indeed written by a proper author. Thanks for the "trip." :)

-christine

Enough answered to allow a conclusion. Enough unanswered ..

to allow speculation.

I use this a lot but I am not overusing it in saying this is a bittersweet tale.

Sweet in that this great girl is free to become herself.

Bitter that this fine NORMAL man had to die and with that any chance of grandchildren.

A VERY unethical experiment. Extremely unethical govt secret opps type and frankly I am almost happy the professors wife died.

She should have been appalled that anyone would ever do her nightmare memory altering experiment . And she should have been ashamed she ever proposed the idea.

A process that was intended supposedly to rehabilitate felons -- by creating a form of identity death? HUH?!?This was her GREAT idea to help society??? --was used to break a good man so badly there is nothing left of him It caused some people to DIE/commit suicide and only some years later the professor feels guilty?

Oh boo hoo hoo. And they had a failsafe phrase to use if the experiment went wrong? WHY was it not used on Eric LONG ago when it might have saved him?

As I said bittersweet. And the ovotestis? He was a normal male in all others memories. Doesn't wash unless seeing as it is fiction this is really mind over matter? Or was the professor STILL covering his alcoholic butt with a medical lie?

Grrrrr!

Lemmon aid out of lemons and all that but these were lemons that never should have been!

And what is worse, tels ACTUALLY finished a story. And DAMNED nicely too.

Now maybe I'll have to finish one.

HORRORS!

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Now John

I can think of at least one positive use of this and that is treating PTSD. Being able to affect those memories would a great help in treatment. There might be other uses too, but that is the one that came to mind.

Remember that almost all good things can be warped to evil purposes.

A sad part of being human. Hey, maybe we're lucky and we're from Mars! Hmmm... Mabybe not, Men are from Mars. Venus?

Grover

Good story.

Thanks for another great story. I'm not sure what you think a 'proper author' is, but your collection of stories definatly marks you as a proper author in my opinion. I really like a lot of your more whimsical tales, but this one also pulled me in and kept me guessing till the end. Thanks again for another great read. Cheers, Kiwi.

Another Great Tale

Truly another great tale. Thank you for writing this, Tels. I really enjoyed it. You did a great job of keeping each chapter interesting and informative, you held my interest throughout. It was a real tear jerker, too.

While I question ethics of such an experiment, I know of other tests done with volunteers that were equally questionable. But that's why they use volunteers. The mind is a very powerful thing and belief/faith can often accomplish things that would otherwise be impossible. There are documented cases of mind over matter, such as people making themselves ill or even being healed, all because they truly believed. As to the ovotestis, I can believe it because sometimes the truth IS stranger than fiction.

Keep up the great work, Tels. I (we) appreciate your hard work.

Hugs,
Mark <3

Disrespect

Teek's picture

>>This story is as best I can get it. I'm sure a proper author could have done justice with it. <<

I grew up with the world convincing me I was a nobody with no skills and no future. I was never supposed to be able to do much more than mop the floors at some store or restaurant. Society believed this. My family believed this. My teachers believed this. I never knew what to believe. Since my teens, I have worked to overcome this image and belief society put upon me. Brainwashing is a tough thing to overcome. Gaining confidence in one's own abilities is not easy. I am sorry Tels that after all the writing you have done and posted over the years, that at least part of you still believes your not a good author. I understand that feeling though. I have been writing and posting for over ten years, and I still question my abilities as a writer.

Tels, you are a good author. Your stories are well formed and paced. They have great character development, allowing the readers to form emotional connections. People actually choose to read your stories, just because you wrote it. Seeing your name as the author, they know it will be a good story. Can you still grow as an author, yes every author can grow and mature in their writing abilities, but that does not mean you are not a proper author. Take pride in your accomplishments, for you have a lot of great ones to be proud about, including, "The Trip Home"

Keep Smiling, Keep Writing
Teek

This story is more frightening ...

... this summer than it even was when you posted it. What with the US government monitoring our every communication, big brother etc. etc. It makes it all the more believable that ethics in a (likely government funded?) experiment would get compromised. Although I have no fear that Beth can lead a healthy life, the psychic trauma to herself and her family was atrocious. The funeral for Eric was an amazing touch, one I've not read in any other TG story that I can remember. What loving parents Eric had and Beth has. Though I enjoy all of your stories, this has the components that first drew me to you as an author (and to Big Closet in general) in the first place. It's in your top 3-4 works, IMO. (Yes, yes, Belle is still #1 on my list, probably forever).

A "proper author"?? ROFLMAO! My goodness, that was a good one. That's like saying Babe Ruth could have hit more home runs if he had just been a proper hitter. That Cindy Crawford could have become more than a millionaire if she'd just been a proper beauty.

Tels, there will always be a special place in my soul that only your stories will fill. Thank you! **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

dearest tels

your story hun and truthfully it made me cry good and hard, I truly felt for Erics parents loss AND for
all the upset poor dear Elizabeth had to go through, truly an amazing and well written story