© March 2013

Chapter Fourteen: The real me

    Jessica had flagged down a taxi and got it to take her back to Jonathon’s house. The place was dark and cold when she entered, but she put the heating on and then stormed up to the bathroom in his parent’s room all set to remove all the clothes, makeup and breast forms, but as she looked in the mirror she started to realise that she was fooling herself and blaming Joan for something that she’d started and couldn’t stop now.

    As much as Jessica wanted to have Kirstin back in her life, she couldn’t go back to being Jonathon, not even if that was the prize for doing so. Jessica also realised that she’d just let Jonathon’s temper destroy the one good thing she now had in her life.

    The other problem Jessica had, even if she did want to be Jonathon, was she had no way to remove the breast forms because it was all over at Joan’s house, and she wasn’t about to go over there after what she’d just said and done.

    Jessica slipped out of her clothes and looked through some of Donna’s things until she found a nightgown, then she got ready for bed and slipped under the covers of her parents bed and tried to find some sleep.

    Jessica spent most the night trying to work out if Kirstin might have found out who the woman was she bumped into. She wondered what Kirstin thought of her if she had.

    She woke late on the Saturday morning feeling like she’d not had any sleep, and she dragged herself out of bed and wandered down to the kitchen, just to remember that she didn’t have anything in to make breakfast with, but she did manage to make herself a black coffee with no sugar in it.

     “I guess I need to go do some shopping, unless I want to starve all weekend.” Jessica said to her half empty coffee cup.

    Feeling more awake after draining her coffee cup, Jessica headed up to her parent’s room to see what she could wear to go out to the shops in. She settled on a pair of black jeans and a white blouse, and she pulled out a pair of boots she’d tried on the first time she ever dressed in her father’s female things. The boots came to just above the knee and Jessica loved the look when she saw herself in the full length mirror.

    Once she was dressed, Jessica then brushed out her hair and added a little makeup to hide the dark rings around her eyes.

     “That will have to do for now.” She said to the girl looking back at her from the mirror.

    Jessica headed back down stairs and looked for a coat to wear, and she found one she remembered her mother wearing, so she put it on and then grabbed her purse before leaving the house. She groaned when she remembered her car was still over at Joan’s, so she had to walk down to the bus stop and get the bus into town.

    By the time Jessica had done in town, she had far too much to struggle back on the bus with, so she caught a taxi and got home the easy way.

    Once she was back home, and the shopping was put away, she checked her cell phone and saw she had a couple of missed calls from Joan.

     “Probably calling to say I’m fired.” Jessica said to herself as she put the phone back in her purse. It was on silent, so she could ignore it for the rest of the weekend, and she would worry about work on Monday morning.

    Jessica spent all weekend wondering what Joan was doing, and if she was still taking her morning swim. Jessica found herself missing that, as well as all the other fun stuff she did with Joan.

    By the time it got to Sunday night, Jessica had made her mind up to go into work the next day and face the music with Joan. If Joan wanted to sack her, she could, but Jessica was still going to work out her notice and help to get someone else trained up if she wanted her to.

    Jessica looked through Donna’s things and managed to put an outfit together before she called it a night and headed off to bed.

    Joan arrived at work on the Monday morning feeling less than energetic about spending the day in her office alone with Rebecca playing personal assistant, but she’d been unable to get hold of Jessica all weekend to try and sort things out. Joan thought it best to give Jessica some time to calm down. Joan wasn’t even sure if Jessica was around anymore, or if it was Jonathon again.

    She walked into the office block and saw Rebecca on reception, and she thought about telling her the news, but she decided to leave it until she’d had a coffee, so she just smiled when Rebecca wished her good morning and made her way to her office.

    Joan could smell fresh coffee as she got closer to her outer office, and she got an even bigger shock when she walked around the corner and saw Jessica sat behind her desk getting all the files ready for her first meeting.

     “Jessica...?” Joan asked trying not to look to excited to see her sat there. “I think we need to have a conversation.” Joan added as she made her way into her office.

     “I’ll be right there, just as soon as I’ve made you a coffee.” Jessica said as she got up and made her way into the small kitchen area.

     “Please make one for yourself and join me.” Joan said more as an order than a request.

    Jessica made the drinks and then entered Joan’s office looking nervous. She placed the tray she was carrying on a side table and poured out a cup for each of them, Jessica then took Joan hers before she got her own and took a seat facing Joan.

     “I must admit Jessica that I’m surprised to see you here, or even see you as Jessica at all after your little outburst on Friday night.” Joan said in a calm tone between taking sips of her coffee. “May I ask why you’re still dressing as Jessica if you think it was me forcing you to do so?”

     “I’m sorry...” Jessica mumbled as she looked down at her lap, to ashamed to look Joan in the eyes.

     “Pardon...?” Joan said. “Speak up child...!” She snapped, making Jessica jump.

     “I said I was sorry for what I said the other night.” Jessica said much louder so Joan could hear her this time. “I was upset with myself, and I took it out on you.” She added close to tears. “I know you must hate me, but not half as much as I hate myself right now for what I said to you. I’ll work out my two weeks’ notice and also train up whoever it is that will replace me.”

     “Does this mean you’re leaving me and going to work somewhere else?” Joan asked with sadness in her voice.

     “I just thought you’d want me gone, so it would be better if a quit, rather than have you fire me.” Jessica shrugged.

     “Do you think for a single second that I’d fire you, or stop being your friend, just because you got upset and said something silly in the heat of the moment?” Joan frowned.

     “I’m not sure what to think anymore Joan.” Jessica admitted as she started crying. “I was all set to try being Jonathon again Friday night, but when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was the real me, and I couldn’t face trying to be him again.” She sobbed.

     “Sounds like your weekend was about as much fun as mine.” Joan said as she got up and went to join Jessica on the other side of the desk.

     “Mine wasn’t fun at all.” Jessica pouted. “I spent the whole weekend in my parent’s house, but it didn’t feel like home to me, not like it did when I was Jonathon.” Jessica let Joan wrap her arms around her and she sobbed even more as she enjoyed the hug.

     “I spent the whole weekend worrying about you and thinking how big and empty my house is when you’re not in it with me.” Joan said as she rocked Jessica in her arms.

     “Can I please come home mother?” Jessica asked in a small child like voice as she looked up at Joan with pleading in her eyes.

     “Don’t be silly.” Joan said, but had to rephrase her answer when she saw the shock in Jessica’s eyes. “I mean don’t be silly you don’t need to ask.”

     “Thank you...” Jessica smiled as she cuddled up to Joan again and rested her head on Joan’s chest while letting out a happy sigh.

     “So that was Kirstin I met the other night then?” Joan asked with a little humour in her voice.

     “Yes it was, but this was the last place I expected to see her.” Jessica admitted as she sat up again and wiped her eyes. “Do you think she realised who I was?”

     “She just looked confused when I looked at her, but I was more worried about getting to you than what she was thinking.” Joan frowned. “And you don’t look much like Jonathon anymore either.” She pointed out.

     “I just feel like such an idiot over how I acted with you.” Jessica sighed.

     “We were bound to argue at some point, so don’t let it bother you too much.” Joan said waving off Jessica’s worries. “I’m just glad you didn’t go and get your head shaved or something stupid like that.” Joan added with a worried look of her own.

     “I did think about it, but I didn’t have the solvent to remove the breast forms, so I’d just look like a girl with no hair.” Jessica giggled.

     “It worked okay for Demi Moore in G.I.Jane.” Joan grinned.

     “I liked her more in Striptease.” Jessica smiled.

     “So you’d like to be a stripper then?” Joan smirked.

     “I never said that...!” Jessica argued. “But I’d rather be a stripper than a marine.” She blabbed out. “You know what I mean.” Jessica giggled when she saw the look on Joan’s face. Joan didn’t care what Jessica meant, she was just glad to have her around still.

     “What do you plan to do about Kirstin then?” Joan asked once they had stopped laughing.

     “Nothing...” Jessica shrugged. “She was part of Jonathon’s life, and I can’t see her wanting anything to do with me like this.” She added as she looked down at herself in the skirt and blouse she’d found to wear in her father’s wardrobe.

     “Maybe you could still be friends though.” Joan pointed out.

     “I’ve not seen her in seven months, so what are the odds of me bumping into her again anytime soon?” Jessica asked.

     “You do have a point there, but I still think you need a form of closure where this Kirstin is concerned.” Joan said sounding all motherly.

     “I’ll think about it if I ever bump into her again.” Jessica sighed. “I better go and get cleaned up before your client arrives.” Jessica said as she got to her feet and collected the cups up before placing them on the tray and leaving the room.

    Joan smiled, happy to have her PA back, not that she ever left, but Joan had been worried all weekend about how she would cope if she had to use Rebecca. Joan had thought about calling Debbie and asking her to come in and help out, but she didn’t want to worry Debbie by informing her that she and Jessica had had words.

     “I have your ten o’clock here to see you ma’am.” Jessica said on the phone when it rang.

     “Please bring them in Jessica.” Joan replied as she got to her feet ready to greet them.

    Jessica showed two men and a woman into Joan’s office and then went to make a pot of tea and a pot of coffee for them. Jessica returned with the tray of drinks and served them all before she sat in on the meeting and handed Joan paperwork as she asked for it, as well as making sure none of the clients needed refills.

    The meeting rapped up just in time for lunch and Joan insisted on treating Jessica to a meal at a restaurant. Jessica agreed and they left the office together and got in Joan’s car.

     “How did you get to work this morning?” Joan asked.

     “I got a taxi because I wanted to get in early and make sure all your papers were ready for your first meeting.”

     “You still did all that, even though you thought I was going to fire you?” Joan smirked at just how silly Jessica had been to think such a thing in the first place.

     “Yes, because I didn’t want to disappoint you anymore than I already have.” Jessica admitted. “And I was kind of hoping that you wouldn’t fire me as well.” She added with a grin.

     “You could never disappoint me sweetie.” Joan said as she pulled into the car park at Tony’s restaurant and got out.

    The two of them entered the restaurant and were instantly pounced on by Tony and led to a reserved table. Jessica always got a kick out of the looks they would get from the people sat in the waiting area as they were led past them and seated straight away.

     “I should be paying the two of you for making my dull little place more colourful.” Tony said as he kissed each of them on the hand.

     “You’re far to kind Tony.” Joan argued.

     “I do think the two of you look tired though, I think you need more rest.” Tony said it more as an order than a suggestion.

     “We just had a worrying weekend, but we will be fine the next time you see us in here.” Joan said to reassure her friend.

    Tony was soon waving over a waiter and telling him to bring two glassed of sparkling water just before he went to sort out their food. In all the time Jessica had been coming here with Joan, Tony had never once asked them what they wanted, but he always knew just what to bring out, and today was no exception when he returned with two grilled chicken salads with the most amazing dressing Jessica had ever tasted.

     “The meal is good, yes...?” Tony asked a little later when he returned to their table.

     “Yes, very good.” Jessica said after swallowing a mouth full. “What’s in this dressing?” She asked.

     “Old family recipe. You marry me and I tell you, yes...?” Tony grinned.

     “It is good Tony, but not that good.” Joan answered for a blushing Jessica.

     “You not blame an old man for trying.” He chuckled.

    Just before Jessica and Joan left the restaurant after arguing with Tony because he wouldn’t let them pay for the meal. Tony handed Jessica a jar of the dressing.

     “You come tell me when you want more, and I get for you.” He smiled just before he kissed each of them on the hand and walked them out to Joan’s car.

    The afternoon went smoothly with Joan seeing a couple more clients and Jessica serving them drinks and helping to sort out paperwork when Joan needed it. Both of them were glad to be calling it a day though, and Joan was going to run Jessica over to her parent’s house, so she could collect her things and the food she’d bought over the weekend.

    Joan backed onto the driveway so they could put everything in the trunk easier and they got out the car. Joan waited for Jessica to unlock the front door, but she was suddenly looking at the woman Jessica had called Kirstin on Friday night getting out a car and walking towards them.

     “Jonathon...!” Kirstin called out, and Jessica spun around to look at her like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck.

Chapter Fifteen: Kirstin

    Kirstin had never been one to believe in love at first sight, but the day she met Jonathon while she was looking after her aunt, she just couldn’t get enough of him. He wasn’t like other guys, he had a sweet soft side, but that changed when he started work, he was suddenly one of the guys, and would pick a fight with anyone that made fun, or even passed a comment about his size.

    Jonathon still had his softer side when they were alone, but once he was around other people, he would become a stranger again. Kirstin gave him one chance after another, but he would always end up fighting and getting in trouble.

    The final straw for Kirstin was one night while they were out having a drink and the two of them were playing pool. A couple of drunken men had mistaken Jonathon for a girl and tried to help him make a shot, but Jonathon had flipped out and hit the guy with his pool cue. The police turned up and arrested the two men and Jonathon, leaving Kirstin to make her own way home.

    Kirstin had cried most the night and by the time Jonathon returned home the next day, she’d packed up all her things and was getting ready to leave, just as soon as her taxi arrived. Jonathon had begged her to give him another chance, but that was never going to happen, not while he was willing to fight anyone that made fun of him, so she left.

    She’d moved in with a couple of friends, but she felt like they didn’t want her there, so she left and ended up moving in with her aunt.

    Jonathon had tried to get in touch with her a couple of times, so she blocked his number and then tried to move on with her life. She found a job working in a new restaurant and was soon the manager. She tried dating some guys, but found them to be a little to macho, a couple were even worse than Jonathon, so she tried taking a break from guys all together.

    Kirstin was out on a hen night with some girls from the restaurant one night and she got chatting with a girl and before she knew it they were kissing. Kirstin liked this more than kissing the guys she’d dated, but it still didn’t feel like it did when she was with Jonathon. She went out on a couple more dates with the girl, but they broke up in the end promising to remain friends, but Kirstin never heard from the girl again.

    She was working one Friday night in the restaurant when she was almost knocked over by a woman just coming out the restroom. Even though Kirstin knew it was the woman’s fault, she still felt it best to apologise, but before she had time to say a word, the woman said sorry and then called her by name, looking shocked to see her for some reason.

    Kirstin just looked at the woman with a puzzled look on her face. “I’m sorry; do we know each other...?” Kirstin asked as she tried to remember where she might know her from.

     “I’m sorry, but I thought you were someone else.” The woman replied.

     “Someone called Kirstin...?” She asked with a raised eyebrow that said she didn’t believe her.

     “Yes...” the woman giggled nervously. “I’m sorry, but I really need to go now.” She added as she slipped past Kirstin and made a quick exit from the restaurant.

    Kirstin watched the woman vanish into the crowd and then looked at the woman’s friend for a second or two before she followed her friend and was also gone.

     “Why does it feel like I know that woman from somewhere?” Kirstin asked herself. She knew it would bug her for days before she remembered where she knew her from, but she would remember in the end she thought to herself as she carried on managing the restaurant.

    Kirstin spent the next couple of days thinking about the mysterious woman that knew her name, but she couldn’t work out where she knew her from, and why the woman would look so shocked to see her.

    The other thing that had Kirstin puzzled was why she was suddenly having dreams about Jonathon again, it had been almost eight month since they broke up, but she was seeing him in her dreams now, like her subconscious was trying to tell her something.

    Kirstin had crawled into bed on the Sunday night after a busy day at the restaurant, and she was soon fast asleep and dreaming about bumping into the woman again, Then she was in Jonathon’s flat breaking up with him and looking at his sad worried eyes, she was soon sat bolt upright in bed when it suddenly clicked where she knew the woman from, but it wasn’t a woman it was Jonathon, that is why she thought she knew her, she knew those worried eyes, they were the same eyes she’d seen the day she walked out on him, but why was he dressed as a woman, and why did he look so good doing it? Kirstin asked herself as she felt a little turned on by the thought of Jonathan pretending to be a woman.

     “Is it alright if I borrow the car today Auntie Kim?” Kirstin asked on the Monday morning while they ate breakfast together.

     “Sure, just remember to fill it up this time.” Her aunt grumbled.

     “I said I was sorry about that, and it was just the once.” Kirstin whined. “And I’m not going far in it anyway.” She added.

     “That still doesn’t mean you leave it running on empty.” Her aunt said in a warning tone as she pointed a spoon at Kirstin.

    Kirstin went in her purse and pulled out a ten pound note and handed it to Kim. “Just in case I forget.” Kirstin giggled.

     “What do you need the car for anyway?” Her aunt asked.

     “I want to try and track down an old friend.” Kirstin smiled.

    Kirstin ate her breakfast and then went up to get ready. Once she was dressed she left the house and drove over to Jonathon’s parent’s to see if he was home. She knocked on the door, but got no answer, so she went and sat in her aunt’s car to wait for him to leave, or return.

    It was her day off, so she didn’t need to worry about getting to work, but she did need to eat something after being sat there for a couple of hours, and she needed a potty break as well, so she returned to her aunt’s house to grab a quick bite to eat and also use the toilet.

    Once she was fed and she’d drained her bladder, Kristin left the house and returned to wait outside Jonathon’s. Kirstin had read in the paper about his father passing away, but she still couldn’t work out why he was dressed as a woman the other night.

    Kirstin was just about to give up and go home when she saw a BMW come past and then reverse up onto the drive. Kirstin thought she had wasted her time and someone else lived here now, but she was soon looking at the same woman she’d spoken to on Friday night, and the woman driving the car was the same woman that was with her.

    Kirstin waited for the woman to make her way to the front door and get a key out, before she got out her own car and made her way over to them.

     “Jonathon...?” Kirstin asked with hope in her voice. She knew she was right when she saw the woman spin around so fast she ended up throwing the house keys at her friend, or his friend. Kirstin was confused about the whole thing.

Chapter Sixteen: It’s Jessica now

    Jessica didn’t even bother looking where the keys had just gone, she was too busy looking at Kirstin stood at the other end of the driveway near the gate. Jessica thought about lying to her, but she could already see that Kirstin knew who she really was.

     “It’s Jessica now, Kirstin.” She said as she let her shoulders slump as she waited for Kirstin to start laughing at her.

     “You mean you’ve had the surgery to make you look like a woman?” Kirstin asked as she made her way up the path to where Jessica was stood looking down at the ground between the two of them, not able to look Kirstin in the eyes.

     “No, not yet, but I do plan to have it done one day.” Jessica said. “So you may as well leave now before you get hurt more than I’ve already hurt you.” Jessica added close to tears again.

     “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.” Kirstin said as she closed the gap between them and lifted Jessica’s head up so they were looking at each other.

    Jessica was breath taken by just how beautiful Kirstin looked, even after all this time. “God, I’d forgotten just how beautiful you are.” Jessica said before she could stop herself.

     “Thanks...” Kirstin blushed. “You’re not looking to bad yourself.” She replied.

    Now it was Jessica’s turn to blush. “Don’t make fun of me like that.” Jessica complained.

     “I’m not making fun of you Jessica; you really do look cute like this.” Kirstin said as she looked Jessica in the eyes to prove her point. Jessica could see that same look Kirstin always seemed to get when she was being serious about something.

    Jessica felt a funny feeling in her chest when Kirstin called her by name. “I think you better come into the house, so I can explain all this to you.” Jessica said as she took the keys off Joan that she’d picked up off the floor.

     “I’ll leave the two of you to talk sweetie.” Joan said as she turned around and went to walk back to her car.

     “Please don’t go mother, I’d like Kirstin to hear your part in all this as well.” Jessica pleaded.

     “Are you sure?” Joan asked, not sure this was a good idea.

     “Yes, I don’t have my car here, and we still need to get my things packed away and taken over to the house.” Jessica reminded her.

    Joan nodded and then waited for Jessica to unlock the door and enter the house, followed by Kirstin and then she brought up the rear and closed the door once they were inside.

    Jessica went into the living room and indicated for Kirstin to take a seat on the sofa, while she sat in an armchair. Joan took a seat in the other armchair in the room and then waited for Jessica to explain things to Kirstin in her own words.

     “I know I was a jerk when we were going out Kirstin, and I want you to know that I don’t blame you for walking out on me.” Jessica started to explain. “But I’m not that person anymore.” She added with a giggle. “I think you’ve worked that part out for yourself.” Jessica said nervously.

     “Yes, I did kind of notice that.” Kirstin smiled.

     “I got a call from Joan, and she explained to me about my father’s death. I never even knew he was ill.” Jessica said in a sad tone.

     “Did you never call him after I left?” Kirstin asked.

     “No, and I found out I was wrong about him seeing another woman.” Jessica said with tears in her eyes. “My father was the other woman. He was a crossdresser and that is why there were female clothes all over the bedroom when I came home to see him that time.”

     “So are you a crossdresser then?”

     “No, I’m what they would call a transsexual because I live as a woman, and will one day will become one.” Jessica tried to explain.

     “Are those real?” Kirstin pointed at Jessica’s chest.

     “No, there just realistic looking breast forms.” Jessica grinned as she looked down at her chest.

     “Very realistic.” Kirstin agreed. “How did you get from finding out about your father to looking like this though?”

     “He left me a couple of letters explaining what he was doing, and I started watching some of the video’s he had saved on how to apply makeup, and before I knew it I was starting to become Jessica. Joan found out about it, and she helped me explore this side and I found I liked it.”

     “How long have you been living like this though?” Kirstin asked, hoping to understand more about it.

     “For the better part of three months now.” Jessica informed her.

     “And you already know this is what you want?” Kirstin sounded a little shocked by it all.

     “I’ll have to do what they call a real life test, where I have to live as a woman for up to two years before I can get the approval to have the surgery.” Jessica explained. “It’s not a case of me waking up one morning and deciding I want to be a woman and I book myself in for the operation.” Jessica had done a lot of talking with Jane about being transgendered and what’s involved in being one.

     “I don’t understand how you can go from me calling you a sexist asshole to you looking like some super model.” Kirstin said looking confused.

     “Jonathon was trying to fit in as a male, so he was acting out.” Joan tried to explain the way she understood it. “But as Jessica she’s accepted who she really is.”

     “And just who are you, and why does he... I mean she keep calling you mother?” Kirstin asked with some anger in her voice.

     “Because Joan is like a mother to me, and she was the one that gave me my new name.” Jessica said as she jumped to Joan’s defence. “She’s been helping me through all this.”

     “Would you be willing to stop all this if I was willing to give us a second chance?” Kirstin asked looking hopeful.

     “As much as I still love you Kirstin, I couldn’t do that, not even for you.” Jessica said with fresh tears in her eyes. “I’d be even worse than I was before if I was forced to spend one more minute as Jonathon.” She admitted. “I’d like to try being friends though, if you could manage that.”

     “I’m not sure I can Jessica, not when I know who you used to be.” Kirstin said. “I’m not sure how I feel about this.” She added as she waved her hand at the way Jessica was dressed.

    Jessica pulled a business card out her purse and wrote something on the back of it before she handed it over to Kirstin. “That’s got all my details on it, just in case you ever want to talk.” Jessica said as she got to her feet to walk Kirstin to the door.

    Kirstin didn’t know what else to say, so she just put the card in her pocket and walked to the door. Joan stayed in the living room to give them a moment alone.

     “It was great seeing you again, even if you do think me a freak now.” Jessica giggled, trying to make a joke of it all.

     “I don’t think you’re a freak Jessica; it’s just a lot to take in all at once.” She argued.

     “I guess it is, well drive safe.” Jessica said just before she closed the door and fell against it feeling sick to the bone.

    Joan finally came out of the living room and found Jessica sobbing while being curled up in a ball on the floor. Joan helped her to get to her feet before taking her back to the living room and sitting her down on the sofa. Joan never bothered asking if Jessica was alright because she could clearly see that she wasn’t, so she just sat and hugged her while she got it all out her system.

     “Are you ready to get this stuff in the car and go home?” Joan asked when Jessica finally sat up and dried her eyes.

     “Yes, let’s go home. This place just has too many bad memories for me now.” Jessica said as she stood up and made her way into the kitchen.

    They soon had everything packed in a couple of boxes and in the trunk of Joan’s car. Jessica locked up the house and then joined Joan so they could go home and try to forget this past weekend.

     “I’m sorry it didn’t go better for you with Kirstin.” Joan said as she drove them home.

     “I think I was wishing for a fairytale ending, and Kirstin would just accept me for who I am.” Jessica said as she looked out the window. “I wonder if I’ll ever find someone to love me for who I am.” She added with a sigh.

     “I think you should focus on becoming the person you want to be, before you start worrying about finding that special someone.” Joan offered her advice.

     “I think you’re right mother.” Jessica said as she turned to look at Joan with a smile on her face. “I also think it’s time I called this doctor Cathy told me about, and I got started down this road for real, instead of just playing at it.” Jessica added sounding serious.

     “That’s a wise choice.” Joan agreed.

     “Do you know what I missed most this weekend?” Jessica asked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

     “You mean apart from me?” Joan grinned.

     “I missed our little swimming sessions.” Jessica admitted.

     “I didn’t feel like swimming without you there, so I never went near the pool this weekend.” Joan confessed.

     “We could do some laps when we get home if you want? Jessica asked looking hopeful.

    Joan liked the sound of that, so when they got home they both ran off to their bedrooms to get changed. They were soon in the pool swimming back and forth as they paced each other. Jessica was using the swimming to help her forget about Kirstin, or at least help her focus her anger into swimming faster.

    Kirstin pulled up outside her aunt’s house and she sat in the car wondering if she’d done the right thing just walking away from Jessica like she did. Part of her found it a little sexy to think of Jonathon now being a woman, or on his way to becoming one, but she was also confused about it all, and she had too many questions rolling around in her head. She suddenly found herself sobbing though for no reason at all.

    She finally pulled herself together and went into the house and straight up to her room where she sat on the bed just looking at the business card Jessica had given her. Kirstin threw the card in the bin, but then pulled it right back out again and placed it in her purse.

    Kirstin put on a fake smile and went down to see if her aunt needed any help with dinner. Her aunt wasn’t the world’s greatest cook when it came to meals, but her aunt was amazing when it came to baking cakes, so Kirstin never expected anything wonderful for dinner.

     “Hello sweetheart, did you get whatever it was you needed the car for?” Her aunt asked when Kirstin walked into the kitchen.

     “Kind of.” Kirstin sighed.

     “You okay?” Her aunt asked with worry in her voice.

     “I’m fine.” Kirstin said with her best fake smile. “What’s for dinner?” She asked, trying to change the subject.

     “I’m not sure.” Her aunt shrugged.

     “Do you want me to sort something out?” Kirstin asked with a frown.

     “Would you...?” Her aunt asked with a grin.

     “Yes.” Kirstin said with a roll of her eyes. Truth be told, she’d be glad of the distraction. Kirsten set to work and she soon had dinner cooked and on the table.

     “I know you think me a bit of an airhead sweetheart, but you can talk to me about stuff.” Kim said as they ate. “I can see that something is troubling you.” She added with a sad look.

     “Do you remember Jonathon, the boy I was seeing?” Kirstin asked.

     “Yes... I’m not that much of an airhead.” Kim said sarcastically. “Has he been trying to contact you again?” She asked sounding more serious.

     “No, I kind of bumped into him the other night.”

     “How can you kind of bump into someone, either you did or you didn’t.” Kim looked confused.

     “Okay, I did bump into him.” Kirstin said with annoyance in her voice.

     “Has he finally changed his ways, or is he still a sexist asshole...?” Kim asked with a smirk, as she used the same words Kirstin had used when she called Kim and asked if she could come and stop with her.

     “Yes, in a big way.” Kirstin replied.

     “I’m sorry, but you can’t expect him to stop being that way, just because the two of you broke up.” Kim said, not understanding what Kirstin was getting at.

     “I mean yes he’s finally changed his ways.” Kirstin corrected her aunt.

     “Are you thinking of giving things a second chance? Or would it be a fourth or fifth?” Kim asked with a grin.

     “We were well into double figures by the time we broke up.” Kirstin smiled sarcastically.

     “If that’s the case, then why are you thinking about him still?” Kim asked, she was totally confused now.

     “I’m not thinking about him Aunty Kim, I'm thinking about her...” Kirstin shot back.

     “Her who...? Does he have a new girlfriend?” Kim asked with a pained look.

     “No, he is the girlfriend, well a girl, I’m not sure if he, I mean she has a boyfriend.” Kirstin was babbling now.

     “You mean he’s had surgery to...?” Kim asked as she finally started to understand what Kirstin was getting at.

     “No, not yet, but she sure looked good.” Kirstin admitted. “She’s going to have the surgery though one day, or so she told me.”

     “And what’s ‘she’ like?” Kim asked.

     “She’s everything I loved about Jonathon, but in a new shiny packet.” Kirstin looked confused herself now.

     “Do you still love him?” Kim asked.

     “How can I love him, he’s a woman now, or will be soon.” Kirstin said sounding angry over her confusion.

     “I’ll take that as a yes.” Kim giggled when Kirstin snapped at her. “If Jonathon is a woman now, how did you know it was him?” Kim asked.

     “I bumped into a woman at work on Friday night and she called me by name, but then said she thought I was someone else.” Kirstin started to explain. “It took me all weekend to work out who it was, and I went to talk with her today about it all.”

     “And I take it you found her and had a good long chat about it?”

     “Yes we did.” Kirstin said as she moved her dinner around the plate with her fork.

     “And how did you leave things with her?”

     “She wanted to be friends, but I said I wasn’t sure I could do that.” Kirstin admitted. “I could hear her crying on the other side of the door after I left.” Kirstin snuffled as she was crying herself again now.

     “Would it be that hard to just be friends with her?” Kim asked. “The two of you were like best friends most the time anyway.” Kim pointed out.

     “I’m scared of falling in love all over again and then getting my heart broken again if she falls in love with someone else.” Kirstin said through her tears.

     “You mean if she falls in love with a guy?” Kim thought she understood the problem.

     “Yes, and won’t people think me weird for wanting a girlfriend that was once my boyfriend...?”

     “Since when do you worry about what others think?” Kim frowned. “I think you need to give this some thought before you just throw away the chance to get your best friend back.” Kim said sounding wiser than she ever had in the past.

     “Okay, and thanks for listening to me babble on Aunty Kim.” Kirstin smiled a real smile.

    They finished eating in quiet and Kirstin was pushed out of the kitchen with the orders to go do some soul searching while her aunt cleaned up the kitchen. Kirstin and her aunt did this a lot, she would do the cooking, and her aunt would then do the clean up duty.

    Kirstin went up to her room and put on her iPod before she fell onto the bed and thought about her past with Jonathon, and what made it feel special to her back then against what they could still have now if they were just friends.

    Joan was shocked on the Tuesday morning when she got down to the pool and found Jessica already swimming laps.

     “Morning mother.” Jessica smiled when she saw Joan slipping into the pool. She swam over to Joan and kissed her on the cheek before she carried on swimming up the pool. Joan started swimming beside her and they did their morning exercise in quiet.

     “Are you feeling alright sweetie?” Joan asked once they were getting back out the pool to go and get ready for work. “I’ve never known you to be the first in the pool.” She added with a smirk.

     “I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to get up and start my swim early.” Jessica admitted.

     “You still thinking about Kirstin?” Joan asked.

     “Yes, as well as the call to this Dr Prudence walker, but mainly Kirstin.” Jessica sighed.

     “Jane did warn you that not everyone would be happy with you becoming a woman.” Joan said as she pulled a wet Jessica into a hug and kissed her on the forehead.

     “I know, but I just thought Kirstin was more open minded than that.”

     “It’s normally the people we think we know the best that let us down when we need them the most.” Joan said as she led Jessica up to their bedrooms so they could take their showers and get ready for work.

    The two of them were soon back in the kitchen dressed and ready for work, and they worked side by side to make some breakfast.

     “I was thinking of setting a date to go and see this doctor once Debbie’s back at work, so it won’t leave you without a PA.” Jessica explained while they sat eating their breakfast.

     “It won’t make any difference because I’ll be coming with you to see her.” Joan said in a way that let Jessica know it would be a waste of time arguing the point.

     “Are you sure you can afford the time off to do that?” Jessica asked.

     “What’s the point of owning your own company if you can’t delegate the work load?” Joan grinned. “And you need me more than the company does.” Joan added with a wave of her hand.

     “Thanks mum.” Jessica grinned.

    Jessica was just in the middle of typing up some reports for Joan when her cell phone buzzed to let her know she had a call. Jessica had her phone on vibrate so it didn’t affect her answering the phone when clients called. She looked at the screen and saw it was an unknown number, so she hit the cancel button thinking it was a wrong number, but it rang again, so this time she answered it.

     “Hello...?”

     “Jessica...?” A female voice asked nervously on the other end.

     “Yes, this is Jessica.” She replied, curious as to who had given out her number.

     “Hi, it’s Kirstin.” A happier sounding voice said on the other end.

     “Hi...” Jessica said sounding shocked to hear Kirstin on the other end of the phone. “Is everything alright?” She asked.

     “I know I’m probably the last person you expected to hear from after I left last night, but I’ve had some time to think, and I’d like to get together and have a drink, if you’d like to that is?” Kirstin asked nervously. “Hello...? You still there Jessica?” Kirstin said after hearing nothing but silence on the other end for a couple of seconds.

     “Yes, I’m still here.” Jessica said. “I’m just a little shocked to be hearing from you.” She admitted.

     “Like I said, I’ve had time to think things over, and I would like to try being friends.” Kirstin had a pleading in her voice as she said it.

     “Alright, when do you want to get together?” Jessica asked, still not sure about doing this, not after what happened the night before.

     “I’ve managed to get the early shift at work today, so I’m going to be free this evening, if that’s not too soon.”

     “Okay, I’ll pick you up this evening at eight, and we can go for a drink.” Jessica agreed.

     “Cool...!” Kirstin said sounding excited now. She reminded Jessica of her aunt’s address and said she’d see her at eight before ending the call.

    Jessica was still stood looking at her cell phone when Joan stepped out of her office to see what was taking her so long to sort out the reports she asked for.

     “Is everything alright?” Joan asked.

     “I’m not sure.” Jessica replied. “I just got a call from Kirstin; she wants to get together for drinks this evening.” Jessica explained.

     “”That’s wonderful sweetie.” Joan grinned.

     “What if it’s not a good thing though?” Jessica asked worriedly.

     “How can it be a bad thing?” Joan frowned. “If she didn’t want to be friends with you, she just wouldn’t have bothered getting in touch with you.” Joan pointed out.

    Jessica hadn’t looked at it that way, so she did feel a little better about going for drinks now. “You do make a good point mother.”

     “I have been known to every once in a while.” Joan grinned. “Now stop slacking off and get me my reports.” She added in a bossy tone.

     “Slave driver...!” Jessica shouted as Joan made her way back into her office.

    Jessica finished sorting out the reports and got them into Joan just in time for them to head out for lunch. Jessica spent the rest of the day trying to work out what she should wear for their get together.

     “How do you think I should dress this evening?” Jessica asked Joan on the drive home that evening.

     “That’s a tricky one.” Joan said thoughtfully. “You want to remind her that you’re a woman now, but you don’t want to risk looking better than her, or that could get you off to a bad start.” Joan explained.

     “I was thinking of wearing that black denim skirt and jacket, and my suede knee high boots with the three inch block heel.”

     “That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Joan agreed. “Smart, but not to over the top.”

    They got home and sorted out dinner, which Jessica only picked at due to being too nervous to eat anything. She then went up to start getting ready.

 

To Be Continued Next Tuesday  

 

Story by SaraUK

 

Edited and Posted by SamanthaK

    EDITORS NOTE: Please Comment and/or leave Kudos and let Sara know you like her work please, Any comments on spelling, grammar or the layout of the story please PM me “Samanthak” not Sara. Thank you

    Authors Note: Cathy, Jane and all the others that Jessica and Joan meet while down in London, are all characters I wrote about in my; You Have it all Wrong series. Even thought you don’t hear about Jane’s story until book four ‘You have it all Wrong Four, the Kids Story’ the time line for this story is set between book three and book four. So to find out more about Chrissy, Amy and Cathy, and how they all became the women they are in this story, you will need to go back and read them.

    Hugs

    SaraUK