Payback House

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Payback House

Eugene Morrison waited for the House to arrive.

The need for vengeance had led him to being approached by a strange man who offered him a way to pay back those who had wronged him, which led to this moment, waiting for the House to appear.

Just getting the key to the House took exactly half of everything he owned, and the search that led him to meeting the man with the key had cost him much as well, but as far as Eugene was concerned, it would be worth it, if the House was everything advertised.

He looked out the open field, and then glanced at his watch.

Any moment now ...

The House arrived. It looked like a modern mansion, with glass and bright lights, the sort of place a rich playboy would build.

Eugene smiled .....

It had all started for him a year ago. He had started college, and met an amazing girl who actually liked him. He felt like things couldnt be better, until the night his girlfriend had gotten raped repeatedly by a group of jocks.

Worse, they had essentially got away with it, getting a slap on the wrist while she was told she couldnt even tell people what happened to her.

Which led Eugene to seek payback on her behalf .....

The quest took him to a strange bar that he would have sworn wasnt there the day before, talking to an odd being who claimed to have just the thing he needed to have his revenge ....

“The HOUSE is alive, but serves who possesses the key. At your command, it will take all those within to ... a place between worlds. There, months pass like days here, and that gives you all the time you’d need to get your payback. “

“How much?”

“One half of all you own. The system is thus perfectly fair, a bum could pay a few pennies while you would pay somewhat more.”

“Done. As soon as I can get to a bank ....”

“No need. just sign the contract, we’ll take care of the payment.”

Eugene signed ..........

And now the House was here.

He walked toward the instrument of his revenge, ignoring a sudden shiver that ran through his spine....

Some time later, the jocks received some very special invitations, and found themselves unable to refuse .....

One of the special tricks the House possessed was that on command, it would remove itself and its occupants to another plane. There, time moved much more slowly than in our world, so even though the guests would be trapped for only the three day weekend in this plane, they would experience three months of captivity ...

The other special trick the House could do was infuence those who were inside. It couldnt completely control them, but there was little it couldnt nudge them into doing ....

So one by one, as they got intoxicated, they would retire to bedrooms where they would find a pile of woman’s clothes that would fit them perfectly ...

But then came the tricky bit. They would not be humiliated by this, but elevated. By the end of the three months they would have a profound understanding of women, having quite literally walked a mile or more in their shoes. The next girlfriend they had would find them regarding women as wonderful creations to be cherished rather than objects.

This hadn’t been Eugene’s original plan, but when he told his girlfriend what he wanted to do to them, to have the House torture them so lavishly they would be reduced to empty husks, she had been horrified, and told him in no uncertain terms she wanted no such thing done in her name, and eventually she came up with this alternative.

After all, as a wise man once said, you destroy your enemies when you make them your friends, and the boys would be friends of women by the time they left the House.

Eugene watched the House disappear, knowing it would be back with it’’s occupants in three days, who would return to their lives with such a love for all things female they would never dream of hurting a woman, and that, he had decided, was good enough for him.

He walked away, headed for his girlfriend’s house, whistling a happy tune.

End.

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Comments

I see the devilishness of this plan.

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

For with their new understanding they will still remember what they have done.

:))

This is a new concept

I think you have come up with a new universe and I like the fact that we were led to expect that the jocks were going to be totally feminized and humiliated, only to find that only their attitudes would be changed. I really like that this story was not as dark as it could have been and that there was actually a message.

Thank you for this.

thanks, Monica

not sure if the Payback House will be back, but with my muse, you never know.

Thanks for commenting.

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The Penny Finally Drops

This story has so many excellent ideas that I'm amazed you didn't develop it into something much longer. The house itself is an inspired metaphor, the Faustian dialogue in the opening exchange was delicious, and the sentiments behind the unusual way these criminals are eventually rehabilitated are laudable.

[I'm not sure about the 'odd being'. I'd have preferred a little more information than you were prepared to give. Either that or you could have grounded him (it?) in reality, maybe by referring to him as a dishevelled old man in a threadbare suit or whatever struck you as appropriate.]

I think the really interesting thing about this story is the attitude taken by Eugene's girlfriend. She's the victim, which gives her every right to demand - though not to receive - vengeance, yet she shows towards her attackers a compassion that Eugene initially denies them. Although hers was the body these young men abused, Eugene feels equally violated and clearly blames himself for his failure to protect her.

Maybe it's Eugene who needs to learn a lesson here, muses this reviewer as the penny finally drops.

Ban nothing. Question everything.

thank you, Touch!

I might go back and see what I can do to make it longer, but I got so many stories in my head, I cant promise.

Thanks for commenting.

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Dorothy -

A completely new approach to the forced fem gendre. And payback is best served cold - the boys may never realize the why of their new attidude upon their return. Sort of a twist on the medallion of Zoro.

Very creatif writing - payback without violence. Thanks.

Ruth

May the sun always shine on your parade

thanks, Ruth!

I'm glad you liked it, and I look forward to seeing you on Tuesday!

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I agree

A very interesting idea with the house. Ground rules would need to be applied and written so that others writing to this universe would not over burden it with useless dribble. Case in point some of the SRU went to far south. Elrod's reboot of the MAU.

It's your universe Dorothy and only you can decide to open it to others.

Oh and I'd like to see what happens inside the house and not just the ideas. ":)

Wonderful! ^_^

Extravagance's picture

It's so refreshing to see the same old forced-fem/revenge NOT being done. = )

You just keep coming up with original and wonderful concepts. You really deserve a special title. ^_^
I'll take the time to think of a really good one, for now please accept: *HuggleSnuggleKissNuzzleyourcheekPurrsoftlyintoyourearLickyourfaceKissHappytailswish* <3

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A special title, Extravagance ?

I can hardly wait to see what you come up with.

Thanks for commenting.

Huggles and scratches behind the ears.

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Extravagence has expressed it plainly

in good english. I do not dare contradict what she has said, which is basically "a little pussy is a good thing.."

I can't believe that came from my keyboard! It obviously has a mind of it's own! I won't object if this is deleted, but the keyboard might, and the keyboard is not mightier than the sword of Extravagence.

Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?

Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm

What? Me Drunk?

so, because I am three winds to the sheet, perhaps that isn't quite correct. However it does open the door to a completely new universe in which just about anything can happen, including other universes, once they have entered this one, and it must be done in the same story and not in a lengthy novel, or at least in a story absolutely no longer than three installments, which must in total length be no longer that six chapters, or 10K words total.

Gawd, I wish I had the imagination to write stories that take place in this and all the other universes present in here. Keep the good stories coming, authors, in your favorite universe, or in the universes established by other authors. Just be sure you maintain their universe when doing so and with very few exceptions there are not that many universes which can be manipulated into appearing in another universe.

So go for it! It should be an interesting group of tales!

Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?

Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm

The Sword of Extravagence

This is an interesting title for a story, a group of stories within a strict universe to be established by, who else? Extravagence, of course, or her designated, the important word here is DESIGNATED, ghost writer.

Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?

Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm

HOW much did you drink?

Extravagance's picture

I don't see how my appreciation of Dorothy's story translates to "a little pussy is a good thing". I'm not even sure of the sense of the term in which it is meant.

Please PLEASE don't call me a she. You will make me insecure in my Vboy-ness, and I will be compelled to start being obnoxiously macho. That really wouldn't be a good thing.

If there were a story about me and my sword, I think it would be a bit too violent for this community in general. It would mostly be about chopping up the feminazis and the macho pigs into little bits...

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Their Expreriences?

Daphne Xu's picture

"... while she was told she couldnt even tell people what happened to her." Okay, who ordered this, and under what authority?

This is a nice story that leaves several issues open. What happened to the boys inside? What happens when they emerge? There are potential unexpected, unintended consequences.

The offer that the jocks were "unable to refuse" reminded me of my story where the protagonist receives an invitation: BB: A Boy's Visit.

The story also reminds me of my own vengeance story that would have been a solo, but I isolated the X-rated, potentially triggering scene. A college girl is a victim of a horrendous crime. Someone takes vengeance on everyone who helped the suspect ultimately get off scott-free -- except for violence during his time in jail: Vengeance and Beyond.

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

Eugene is one lucky guy ...

"... when he told his girlfriend what he wanted to do to them, to ... "

That she did not dump him 'on the spot' for being a sadistic jerk ...

And lucky she had a much better idea.