Lead Shoes-18

Lead Shoes-18

Chapter 18

It’s good that he’s in a better mood after all of that as we head to the Bowl ‘N Wash and I go around the back way. There’s lots of room and stuff and while like I said it’s not a bad area out front there’s usually a bunch of kids out there to smoke and smoke up or drink.

It’s the “rebel” teenager stuff kind of place but I park the van out back and we head to out front from there.

I slow down well I can’t really go fast in my crutches anyways but I wait and see if I can see her out front and she’s there.

“Wait a sec Will until she goes back inside.”


“Because she’ll see us and she might try and take off.”

“Oh, okay smart.”

“Well it’s not like I can chase her.”

He nods and it takes about twenty minutes before we see her go inside with a bunch of other kids. By the time we get there it’s been long enough and I go one way and he goes another and I see what I think is her jacket and there’s a stuffed backpack with it and a shoulder gym bag and I go over there while he’s going over to her.

I sit in the seat on her jacket and run get a hold of her bags when she comes over stalking away from Will.

“No! No fuck you Will I’m not going back there!”

“You took off Tammy that’s not helping things.”

“They’re assholes Billy, they’re nothing but assholes and I’m tired of being treated like I’m trailer trash!”

“What the hell happened there?”

“They put me in a foster home Billy.”

“I know that but it was supposed to be a decent place…What…Happened.” He takes her by the arm and he turns her around.

“Oh, oh nothing except shifting me around to a school with a whole bunch of people that I don’t know and then they treat me like I a prisoner there while saying it’s for my own good and that they’re taking care of me while I’m getting shit on at this fucking school because I’m one of those kids.”

“Tammy why didn’t you call me?”

“And what are you going to do? You’re no better off than I am you’re a minor too.”

“I’d have done something.”

“Like what?”

I look at them both. “What we’re going to do now and that’s take you home with us.”

Tammy spins on me and she glares. “Get the hell away from my stuff!”

“No, you’re coming home with us and I’m hanging onto it so you don’t decide to take off on us.”

“This is none of you’re business freak!”

Will yells. “Tammy Jesus knock it off!”

“Why Billy, he’s a freak and you’re a fag for going with her. I bet she fucks you up the ass right?”

People are looking and it’s really not the greatest thing to get outed in front of a crowd. One of her friends is looking at me. “She’s a guy!!?”

“No I’m not I’m trans.”

There’s another one and she goes. “But that means that you’re a guy! You have a dick!”

I hear a few of the teens mouthing stuff. “Tranny…they’re fags…Ick…”

For the life of me I’m actually not mad, it’s the oddest feeling I thought that I’d be mad and hurt if this happened but I’m not.

I look at them. “First when you all get your doctorates then fine you can diagnose me. I’m a girl, I might have a glitch in my system but I’m fixing that.”

They still look hostile.

Not violent but younger teen a tween bitchy hostile.

I get up and adjust my crutches and stare at Tammy. “Okay we’re going to go now.”

“I’m not going anywhere?”

“Okay, so you’re not so here’s what’s going to happen.” I look at them all. “Child protective services will get called, then they’ll call the cops so who’s folks are going to want that coming to their door?”

They get quiet and look everywhere but at me or Tammy.

I keep going but this time I look at her. “Now since they’re looking for you, you can’t go to a shelter because they’ll be looking for you so what then? The streets, you’re a tough girl a survivor huh well what happens when you run into some asshole that really doesn’t care about the law or the fact that you’re as young as you are?”

“You’re making me sound like a statistic.” She’s not shouting any more but pouting and frowning and sullenly bitchy.

I move so I can get in front of her some more. “Stat’s are numbers but their based on real people that have really bad shit happen to them…just like you.”

“It might not.”

I lean in her face. “And I’m sure you’re mom said that too when she was your age.”

She stares at me and she’s mad and she’s getting madder then she just sort of breaks and she starts to cry. Will turns her around and he hugs her and she starts to bawl.

“….Why did she do that…? Why can’t it not be us…!?......what did we do Billy? What did we do!?”

My heart goes out to both of them and honestly I get it because aside from my Aunt…Mom…the rest of my family is kind of full of why’s too.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t have a lump in my throat.

I get up and I looked for her “Friends.” Tammy started crying and really getting emotional they bailed. You don’t do that to friends when things get real.

It’s when we need you the most.

I scoop up her bags and take her jacket and slip it in over the shoulder bag and I look at Will and mouth “I’ll go and get the van.”

Okay it takes a little doing with everything and I get out the door and her stuff in the van and I have a blanket there in the back that I get out and I turn the heater on.

I get cold when I really get upset, well after I get upset and I pull around out front and I get out and call mom.


“Kayla, any luck?”

“Yeah we found her hanging out at the Bowl ‘n Wash hanging with her so called friends.”


“Things got real and they bailed on her.”

“Happens don’t get too pissed at them they’re not really of the age where they’ll be good with real drama.”

“Okay…we’re bringing her back to the house.”

“Okay…we can talk to whoever in the morning.”


“Yes honey?”

“It’s bad, or she’s taking it really bad there.”

“What happened?”

“Well from what I can get she’s in a foster house and away from everything and everyone she knows and okay I can get that’s going to happen but from what I can tell she’s in a new school and she’s getting looked down on for either being poor or being a foster kid or both.”

I hear mom sigh. “I told them that, it wasn’t a good idea to take her out of her school and her surroundings.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know but it’s late and I’ll think of something.”

“Okay, I just wanted some advice and to give you a heads up.”

“Good girl I’ll see you two…you three when you get here.”

“Love you momma.”

“Love you back Kayla.”

I wait until Will comes out with her and we get her into the van and situated with the blanket around her and I drive us first to Tim Horton’s again and I get Will and I another coffee since it might still be a long night yet and I get a french vanilla hot chocolate for Tammy. It’s a mix stuff they use but I’m still hoping the hot beverage and the vanilla will help steer her towards being sleepy.

She looks at me when I give them their cups and she’s a tween again and messy and sad looking and vulnerable.


“You’re welcome.”

I smile a little and wait just a second before turning back around to drive. No, no apology yet. She’s a tweenager and I might have been raised all old style by my grandmother and her church I know enough that I’m not going to get a real apology if I demand one.

So I’m leaving her alone with that. I was in her face pretty hard earlier and that’s going to take awhile for me to get unbitched in her head.

I turn on some soft rock and I don’t take us home right away. I drive us around and just let the drive help chill her out and let her have some time with her brother. Will needs this too and judging from the little awkward things that I’m seeing before this they were brother and sister but in that usual way…not deep down and out close.

I go down by Lakeview Park and then just around until we get out by the airport and I slow down to watch a few planes and then drive us home.

Mom’s up and she comes out while I’m parking and she gets this look from Tammy before Tammy starts crying again and mom wraps her up in the blanket and a hug and leads her into the house.

“It’s going to be kiddo, you’re not going anywhere soon without a fight.”

“Really…?” (Sniffle.)

“Yeah, they want to put you back there well they’ll be going a few more rounds with me and my lawyer.”

Tammy hugs her and starts crying again and I hold the door open for Will who stops and sets down his sisters stuff and he kisses me.

“You are amazing you know that.”

“I’m not but I’ll agree if this is taking the credit.” I kiss him back….god I’m such a girl because kissing Will does these really awesome crazy things to my brain. And it’s just kissing…okay it’s really good kissing but there’s like none of the other naughty stuff.

I’m sort of ready and sort of not and Will gets that.

And Will getting that does things for me.

“No…Tammy flipped out and she said some stuff that was really uncalled for.”

“Yeah but she’s hurt and upset and she’s freaking out…and she’s a kid.”

He smiles and looks at me. “Oh and you’re an old lady?”

“Older than I want to be sometimes.”

He sighs and he nods and I can see the couple of metaphorical years he’s piled on himself recently and I kiss him some more and we Eskimo kiss and nuzzle until he smiles a little.

“Okay if this is older and wiser then I’m all for it.”

“It is.” I kiss him some more. “Let’s go inside and maybe once things are settled we can find a movie and the couch?’

He gives me this look.

This something broken and something hopeful there too. It’s like I can see the really? In his eyes. Then again given his family life…he kisses me again but this time it’s that take my chin kind of kiss that has me do that girl leg curl in a good way.

Like I’m just me…and not me and my CP.

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