"How would you like to be a clarence? A green one?"
Green Sun
Chapter 6
Red Rod, Black Jack, Green Gray and a Boy Named Soo
by Donna Lamb
Ted o'Mersey enjoyed desk duty. As a former solicitor, it suited his soul to help keep the internal functioning of Heaven smooth. He even excelled at it, though he had also demonstrated a capacity for deviousness that made him a very effective field agent. He looked at the trim young man in the uniform of the US 10th Cavalry, circa 1898. "Corporal, it says here that you have another 428 years to spend in Purgatory." Ted quirked an eyebrow.
The young man did not flinch. "Yes, sir. I'm hoping for a work-release transfer."
Ted smiled. "I see your nickname among your mates was Red Rodney."
Corporal Rodney nodded. "There was another Rodney who was darker than me. He was Black Rod and I was Red."
"Because your hair is more brown than black and you've got freckles?"
"Yes, sir," said Rodney.
"Not because you were particularly bloodthirsty?"
"Sir, we were Buffalo Soldiers. It was a bloodthirsty business." He looked uneasy for a moment before he asked."Sir, I did want to know. The men I killed as part of my duty, Indians and Filipinos, mostly, a few white men in Cuba. Do those count against me? And, and, are any of them here?"
Ted frowned. "Deaths caused by soldiers in the line of duty are not usually counted as murder. So, yes, they count, but not so much and sometimes they count for, not against. It's complicated but fair, corporal. And a few of the men you killed are here in Heaven, but you're unlikely to meet them unless you go looking. Did that concern you?"
"A little sir," Rodney admitted.
"No worries, to borrow a phrase from Down Under." Ted smiled. "Would you be willing to work as a Guardian Angel? It's not as easy as it sounds."
"Sir, it would be an honor I had not hoped for."
"Hmm, mmm," said Ted. "I've got a recommendation from one of your commanding officers here."
The soldier looked briefly uncomfortable. "Which--uh, which one, sir."
"Jack Pershing," said Ted. "He says that you are a brave soldier who will do your duty and make him proud."
"Lt. Jack always was good to us. Is he here?" Rodney looked around.
Ted shook his head. "Jack is currently serving as a squadron leader in the Armies of Light on the far side of the Tomlinson Galaxy."
"He'd be good at that, sir," said Rodney.
Jack Pershing was good at that; and his Commanding Officer, Colonel Joseph, had already recommended breveting the cavalry captain to field rank. In his previous life, Jack had never worn oak leaves, jumping directly from bars to stars--some said by political pull. Ted didn't mention to Rodney that all of Jack's current troopers were former Red Sticks and Commancheros. Work-release programs were supposed to be designed to try the soul. Still, Jack looked as if he might be getting the first of his stars back before he turned 160, measured from his birth in 1861 Missouri.
Ted stamped the papers in front of him approved. "Welcome to the unit, Probationary Guardian Angel Third Class Rodney Clarence." He smiled. "You'll have to find out why your last name is so propitious; I'll give you a pass to the cinema later. I know you're familiar with the American Southwest, so we've made your first assignment there. I'm sure you will do well." He passed a packet of papers across his desk.
Rodney saluted. "Thank you, sir." He stepped forward but he still had another question, Ted could see it on his face.
"We'll consider your other request when we see how you're doing on this assignment, Clarence." Ted smiled broadly, enjoying the joke.
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Ex-corporal Rodney Clarence picked up his new assignment and saluted again before executing a precise about face.
Ted watched him march off into mists and the glare of an Arizona summertime noon. "Next applicant, Bo Lim'nhee of the Grays." The tiny alien with the bulging eyes stepped forward. Ted frowned. "Why are you here, Bo? I know you died on Earth but you could have gotten an automatic transfer to your own people's afterlife, you know?"
"Sti oyot thilish sturoi mixi," explained the gray humanoid.
"I see," said Ted. "But, you know, you're not even the right phylum, don't you? And do you chaps even have genders?"
"Struh, amra 'at coro ralko."
"Really? I thought you were all gray."
"Vaska, sti ralko trast zir?"
Ted laughed. "What color gray indeed? Well, then. I know you're a movie buff so how would you like to be a clarence? A green one?"
* * *
David Soo Wilson kicked a rock and watched it sail over the vacant lot where his grandfather's grocery used to be. Davy had never seen the old man's store; it burned down fifteen years before his parents had even met. But it still had a place in family history. Not that Davy felt especially familial this particular summer Thursday; in fact, he felt a grudge coming on against his sister.
"No fair," he muttered. Just because Mandy had turned eighteen and could drive now, she got to go to the beach with her friends. And Davy couldn't go without someone to take him because he was only eleven. His parents had to work and had never heard of buses, at least, not for eleven-year-olds; his sister would not relent and take him along, she made fun of him for asking; and G'ampa Soo had had one of his arguments with the ghost of his wife and was sulking in the upstairs apartment.
Davy kicked another rock, trying to make it travel the entire length of the lot his family still owned; at least, his mom and his uncles did in the family trust. G'ampa Soo talked about rebuilding the grocery someday, like anyone shopped in little neighborhood grocery stores anymore. His mom and his uncles couldn't agree to sell it, though now that Mandy would be the first of the grandkids to start college in the fall his Mom had a new weapon in her argument.
But Davy didn't care, it would be too many years before he'd start college. Who wanted to go to school, anyway, and what was college but more school? No one cared what a kid thought. He kicked another miserable rock. "I wish I were all grown up like Mandy," he said.
continued...
Maybe you'd better read Blue Moon first...
Comments
no worries
...there's a license fee ya know. In fact I think we have to negotiate... I mean, Alien Clarences and civil war retrobates.. yeah Ok rehabilitation, works, maybe. Not to mention confederate flags wafting over alternate universes... um... cue a song from Toto maybe... or Kansas, oh...that's where we aren't. What's that saying about weaving or decieving or something... Oh hell...I'll Soo. Hah. Donna, you're gettin' weirder... not that there's anything....
Yeah... I know, I can't talk.
Kristina
I'm sitting in a coffee shop...
...down in Santa Monica last night, watching all the people come through in their Halloween costumes. This part of the story just happened, I mean, I was there. ::grin::
The boy named Soo part surprised me though, now I've got another wishee? Er, wisher?
-- Donna Lamb, Flack
-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack
Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna
Looking a little green
there Clarence! As always Donna you're trying to fake us out again. Not this time we've got you covered! ***Oh darn, she did it again! Donna you could had at least provided us with translations, but nooooo!!!!! We don't even know what the little critter was saying!
Hugs!
grover
Actually, Bo speaks in subtitles...
...he's a movie buff. ::giggle::
Let's see. First he said, "But I fall in love with Earthlings." Or something like that. Then he said, "Not exactly, on the other digit, we have colors."
Grays have odd hands, their middle fingers are absurdly long with an extra knuckle, originally for pulling insectoids out of nests. And their thumbs have a ball joint. And their little fingers are short but exactly the right size to fit in their nose-holes, so they call them booger-fingers. So when something is on the other digit, well, you don't necessarily want to look too close. ::grin:: They don't actually have noses.
They also only have three toes that touch the ground except they've got that ankle-thumb with the big nail they use like a high heel or...but that's not important now.
And last he said, "Sure, but what color gray?" ::smile::
-- Donna Lamb, Flack
-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack
Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna
Now why do
Now why do I get a sinking feeing, that poor Soo will soon know what it's like to be " all grown up like Mandy".
PMS - A few days each month when women act the way men do all the time.
Maybe...
...I wouldn't bet against it. ::grin::
-- Donna Lamb, Flack
-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack
Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna
Green Sun -6- Red Rod, Black Jack, Green Gray and a Boy Named So
"A Boy Named Sue"
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."
Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.
Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."
Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.
I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.
And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."
He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine