Masks Chapter 27

*Before…

I think it helps he can really actually dance some too, he’s not as self-conscious. I’m having a really good time too and then something happens.

M.J. looks at me. “C’mon lets go to the bathroom.”

And Amber and Toni and Becky are going with us and I stop at the door…oh…oh this is big.

And scary.

I’m freezing up because dressing and dancing is one thing this, this is something else altogether.

*And Now…

I’m looking into the sacred space all locked up in my brain and then Toni’s hands are on my butt!

“Move woman I have to pee!”

She doesn’t let go either and she butt grab-pushes me into the girl’s bathroom and she then moves past me once she’s inside and goes to a stall. She waggles her fingers before she closes the door. “Oh…I felt panties.”

I can’t help it but part of me just comes out with. “I feel like I just got anime groped.”

That actually has a bunch of us laughing and giggling and giggling and I stop and actually look around. It’s pale green not pink in here and it’s all stalls lining the back wall and a long counter with sinks and several mirrors like one per sink and other than that it’s kind of like ours.

Except the smell.

Guys still even if kind of clean either smell like guy us funk or like a lot of cleansers. Here smells like cleansers but there’s an almost leftover hint of like dyer sheet style fabric softener.

So not as bad as the guys but not as awe inspiring either.

It’s actually the girls that are.

It’s not even the fact that they’re girls. Honestly there’s nothing like that sick stuff people try and claim that girls like me are going to do in the bathroom but it’s more like…

Talking about the boys, how they dance and which on is looking good tonight and who is kind of not…Like Paul Johnston who kind of apparently smells like he ate seven pounds of garlic and is now sweating it out or Don White who apparently forgot to wipe his bum or something because you can apparently get the whiff of turd coming off of him.

Eeeew…Yick!

Yick, Yick, Yick!

But then…the magic.

The make-up and purses come out and then there’s all the stuff the curlers and the straighteners and that’s when I notice something that the boys room doesn’t have and that’s wall sockets at the far end of the counters.

I don’t want to sound like one of those girls that bashes on boys all the time but remember that most of the time I am in guy mode and have been for most of my life.

I’m being truthful when I say that here in middle school there will be one guy dumb enough to be dared to take a whiz on a wall plug.

Lol snerk.

Mary Jane looks at me as she’s washing her hands after getting out of the bathroom. “What’s so funny?”

“I was just noticing we don’t have the wall sockets in the boy’s bathrooms.”

It gets quiet and there are girls there now staring at me like they just remembered that I’m not a bio-girl.

I see some faces turning red and a few angry looks and Amber steps in. “Everyone just chill, Stephanie’s not like that and not into you all so stuff it.”

Mona Adamson looks at me pointing. “But she’s not a girl; she’s just dressed as a girl.”

I could so say something but instead I’m turning red and covering my face.

Amber’s like… “And how does that matter? I mean it’s not like she was looking in the stalls or like you all decided to flash your stuff to anyone.”

“And Dammit I was hoping for that!” Toni pipes up.

Okay the attention rapidly shifts from me to her since she’s actually out and public as a lesbian and stuff.

Mona and a couple of her friends leave in a big scared freaked out semi-bigoted rush and the rest of the other girls that aren’t my friends just shrug and go back to fixing and talking and I catch Toni’s wink at me.

(Sniffle) “You didn’t have to do that Toni.”

She does this blink, blink…innocent looking face. “Do what?”

“Out yourself even more.”

“How’d I do that?”

“With your whole lesbian perv act.”

“Who said I was acting.”

“I did, and thank you.”

I have no idea what I’m doing if this’ll freak her out because I’m not a bio-girl but I lean down…she’s really short…and I give her a kiss, a really light one on the lips.

It barely lasts a second but she does this inhale and when I break it she steps back a few steps and puts her back to one of the stall dividers and smiles. “Oh…oh that was so worth it.”

Okay now I’m blushing and we’re getting stared at and I blurt out. “What!? She was cool for me and she’s into girls and she stood up for me isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”

There’s some shrugs and some nods.

Amber though, she looks over at Toni. “So…?”

“So what?”

“Steph kiss like a girl?”

“Oh definitely…” She says and there’s this huge goofy girl grin on her face that makes me blush even more and the other girl’s chuckle and I sigh and try to get the heat out of my face by waving and that’s when I notice the mess oh my makeup on my hand.

“Dammit.” I head to the sink and wash my hands and take out my own purse and do some fast clean up with some wipes and cream before fixing all the damage. Some of the girls are watching and Becky asks.

“Wow, you’re really good at that did M.J. teach you?”

“Uhm nope, I kinda learned how to do most of this stuff myself.”

She looks at me. “Really, but like how? I mean you’re a…”

Becky actually stops herself and she blushes but she looks like she still wants to know.

I smile and stop and re-tip my eye pencil. “Magazines a lot but there’s a whole bunch of really good tutorials online like on YouTube and stuff.”

“Really?”

I nod then get still enough to do my eyes again. “Yeah and with some brands of things you can actually go onto their websites and watch a tutorial by like their experts doing stuff with that exact product. It’s actually pretty cool.”

“You think this stuff’s cool?”

“Yeah, definitely and more than that it’s me.”

She looks at me. “So you really are this tranny…” She stops as Amber’s shaking her head. “What?”

Amber sighs. “Tranny’s kind of a bad word really Beck, it’s kind of like using the N word.”

“Oh really? Oh shit Steph sorry.”

I look at her and at Amber and then around it’s kind of just us now. “I guess I’m really out to you girls then.”

Amber nods and takes out her lip-stick and does her own touching up. “It’s cool I mean most everyone thinks it’s you being gay and stuff.”

Becky nods. “But this makes a lot more sense I mean like on the bus and like in art class it was way more like just hanging out with another one of the girls.”

I smile at her. “It was and y’know that like so meant the world to me that even before you knew you girls let me join in it meant a whole lot to me.”

There’s a hug from her and another one from Amber and we’re done doing the girl thing and we all head back outside to the gym and M.J. joins me walking hip to hip and we slip and arm around each other’s waists.

“Good night?”

“Best yet so far really.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m me right now and all my friends know and what Becky said really has me hoping for the whole oh yeah thing to happen with like other people and…”

“And?”

“And I just went with all of you to the ladies room and did all the ladies room stuff and that was a really big deal even if it wasn’t.”

Mary Jane shrugs. “The magic will soon wear off wait until you see the gross stuff.”

I smile still. “I know, I know but at the same time that was something completely in the realm of a hope from my head, it was like totally guyboden so right now I feel like there’s this little version of me in my head wearing a pink space suit that was going…It’s one small step for women but one giant leap for Stephanie-kind.”

I even try to hold my hand up close to my mouth and do a mock astronaut voice while I’m saying that.

Mary Jane giggles. “Okay beyond the GID stuff Steph you’re a little weird.”

I snerk. “Well that’s no surprise it runs in the family.”

We laugh and we go get some water and stuff then drop off our votes for the contest here and after about five minutes and after they ask if everyone’s voted they start to play some more music while the votes are being counted and stuff.

It’s kind of exciting but I actually kind of get it out of my mind as I dance some more and I look for Nick/Elle.

I don’t see her anywhere and I make my way over to Randy and give him this sort of look and a head tilt.

Oh man as a girl I have no idea how to just come up and talk to guys and he looks at me and he excuses himself from Sarah Brady and he comes over and starts to dance with me!

Eeep! I try and shoot Sarah this sorry look.

She looks more than a little peeves and she lifts her skirts up and stalks away a pretty pissed looking Snow White.

Uh-oh.

“Wait…Sarah…”

Too late she’s gone.

Randy’s looking at me.

I…

Oh right?

“Uhm Randy did you see Ella leave?”

He nods. “Yes she left while you girls were in the ladies room.”

“Oh…do you know where she went?”

“I wasn’t really looking but I could ask around why?”

“Uhm…I can’t really say but I’m just sort of worried about her.”

“Okay, c’mon let’s ask the guys.”

“Uhm okay…” I head over to where some of the team is sitting and we start asking the guys. One they too have seen her leave and two no one knows that Ella is actually Nick or however that’s really going to be in their head if they ever get that figured out.

So…only M.J. and I know.

Oh…okay…so what do I do?

We must have been there long enough because I see Nick…not Ella come in from the main hallway into the gym and he’s changed and he’s definitely guying it up and he’s even using the Ella wig but instead he’s got the hair sort of tucked back and a ball cap on his head and a t-shirt that says. “Exsqueeze me? Baking Powder.”

I sort of sigh a little in relief and he sort of gives me a shy smile before slipping into boy mode.

I think I just saw that faded shine in his eyes as the mask he’s been wearing since he found out go back on.

Y’know it’s just as hard to watch as it is to put it on again myself.

I hang around a bit and it takes a few minutes before Nick comes over. “You want to dance? I think we might be able to squeeze a couple in before the dance is done.”

“Sure, I’d like that. Uhm so you were late why?”

“I wasn’t feeling too hot; I think Mom’s cooking zigged when it should’ve zagged.”

We head out to dance and I look at him and quietly ask. “You okay?”

“No but it’s getting late and I had to do the pumpkin thing or someone might have seen something or found out and then I might get into real trouble.”

“Sorry…”

“No its okay…well okay it’s not okay but it’s the way it’s gotta be alright?”

“Hey, you’re secret’s safe with me and like I said anytime you need to like talk or vent or a shoulder you can come over to my place just like give me a call and stuff and I’ll like try to be there whenever.”

He nods but smiles. “You’ve been hanging around your girls a bit too much Steph.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because like, you like said like an awful lot just now.”

“I did? Man…it really sort of sneaks up on you. It’s Beck and Holly you know that right.”

“Riiiiight.” He smiles and I laugh and I feel better at least he’s joking around a little and that’s a good sign.

I look at him as the music winds down. “I mean it, this stuff sucks and it sucks way harder going it alone, my offer stands.”

Nick squeezes my hand as we head closer to the main group and the stage and he looks at me. “Thanks Steph that means a lot right now.”

I nod and smile and squeeze his hand hard right back as reassurance rather than say something since it’s getting crowded.

They start to thank the people who helped out with the dance and I get included in that as well as M.J. who looks really happy at that. I can just imagine that doing something like this kinda helps with the lingering hurt of those assholes from her old school.

Randy wins first prize for the guys followed by Tim and his Mike Holmes look which I have to admit was pretty spot on and I…I don’t place as one of the sixth graders took third with a very close to Charlie Brown costume with him having a shaved head and the sweater is like totally dead on.

It’s completely alright because Mary Jane gets second place and she’s thrilled because it’s a vote thing and that means that people actually voted for her and her costume. Amber takes third with her girl Robin Hood Costner look and Sarah actually wins first with her Snow White costume and look from the movie *Mirror, Mirror*

She’s really looking pleased with herself and pleased that she got first with Randy too and she actually slips her arm in with his up on stage and looks down at me with this whole attitude look.

It wasn’t like that!

I’m so going to have to talk to her sometime.

I’d do it right now but Mary Jane’s coming off of the stage and right to me and the girls and we do this group girl squeal and semi jump up and down. Second place is a cash prize of twenty dollars and while not a lot it’s still twenty dollars and if you go to like The Gap or Old Navy when things are on sale it’ll get you one or two things or it can buy make-up or a whole bunch of stuff.

We congratulate the other winners too and Sarah is all nose up and “Hrump!” and she stalks off aways away before she turns and looks at Randy. “Randy are you coming?”

He looks at her with this baffled look. “Uhm No.”

She looks at him like he grew another head.

“But…?”

“Sarah it was really cool to like dance with you a bunch tonight but that doesn’t…”

I stop him. “Randy…if you’re going to do that not here she really likes you.”

“She does?”

We all nod. “Sarah’s not that bad, you just hurt her feelings earlier.”

“When?”

I roll my eyes and so do some of the girls. I go over to Sarah and take her hand and pull her over. She fights me and pulls back. “Lemme go!”

“Okay but come over here so we can clear up that thing that happened earlier.”

“What thing!?”

“When Randy let dancing with you do dance with me.”

Sarah glares at me again.

I roll my eyes. “Oh for pity’s sake I didn’t want to dance with him.”

Randy and Sarah both say. “You didn’t?”

I look at them both and I cross my arms in full girl power mode. “No, Randy’s cute but he’s too much my friend for stuff like that besides you like him.”

Sarah blushes.

I nod. “Look I was just trying to ask him if he saw where a friend of mine went because she had left after I had come out from freshening up.”

I look at Sarah. “That’s all.” I turn to Randy. “And you mister you should apologize for walking off from her like that it was seriously not a Captain Reynolds thing to do.”

Randy blushed and looked at her. “Sarah…I’m…”

I cut him off and shove both of them. “Sheesh not here in front of us you guys go and take off.”

They both sort of smile at me and blush but head off towards the bleachers talking and Holly does this little girly squeak and she hugs me.

“Like oh my gawd, you are so amazing. Chi-Chi you’ve earned all of your princess points!”

It takes me a minute to even get what she’s going on about until I realize she’s comparing me to Chi-Chi from *To Wong Foo* That’s actually a pretty rocking movie even if it’s really kind of T-meets Hollywood.

I think Amber gets it next because she’s laughing and the Mary Jane too and she starts to explain it to the others which is just hard since not many have seen it and stuff and we still have a good laugh and yell out. “Awwwww!!!” At Randy and Sarah as they have this whole smooch moment on the bleachers.

Yeah that could’ve been me…maybe and I’m still not sure if that’s what I want or I’m even ready for but here with my friends and starting the clean-up and me flush with all my princess points I’m pretty happy for now.