Sweet Dreams-55

Chapter 55

*Before…

“You are home.”

“Yeah…but I’ve never felt this before in my life.” (Sniffle.)

I’m kind of trying not to cry but when Adam and April come out with Jen and Cindy and some of the others from school…here…here for me and then there’s the Welcome Home Hunter Banner in the garage as the door’s opening.

I can’t help it I start crying.

Oh…oh…wow…these hormones are strong!

*And Now…

It’s not just the hormones, it’s not it’s this sinking in I think that things have really changed and that this stuff might just be over and done with.

I get out of the car and we head inside and Jen hugs me close as we’re going inside. She grins. “Cunt.”

I grin back even though it’s that word that women hate it’s not being said in a hateful way but a fun one.

“Am now.”

That gets Jen cackling.

And Cindy is doing this face palm and looking sideways at April and Alex and Adam and her face is turning red. “Jennifer….”

I smile and lean over enough to hug her. “It’s your fault.”

Cindy squeaks. “My fault how’s it my fault?”

“Well before you came along she was way too uptight to say stuff like that without meaning to start something.”

“And that’s my fault?”

“Got to be all that great lesbian sex you two are having.”

“Jeeze! Hunter!” She really turns red at that bit and I chuckle as I head into the house with everyone and Jen takes Cindy by the hand and pulls her around all like romantic TV like and she does that face to face thing and looks Cindy in the eyes and says.

“No, it’s not the sex. It’s falling in love with your best friend that does it.”

Cindy has that…Oh… look and her eyes are wide and then Jen kisses her openly in front of everyone and it’s one of those long and slow kisses and I admit there’s still part of me that is still a little kind of boy-yay? Over seeing them kissing like that…or maybe it’s really girl-yay and I’m a little Bi?

It’s not like flapjacking sexy but it’s still sexy to me I guess and more than a little bit of an Aawww moment.

I mean it’s not like they had a life like mine or anything but I still think that it’s something good that they’ve hooked up and stuff after everything they’ve sort of been through to get to that point.

And I’m impressed with the guys because it really didn’t slow them down a whole lot. I mean they looked and well Adam’s Adam but you’d think Alex might look more but he just looked long enough to smile and stuff.

Maybe it’s just the thought of Jen so not into dogging him anymore for her mom’s agenda.

Anyways… it was still nice to see and it really lent to the mood for my coming home party.

And there’s movies and there’s cake and there was KFC.

I really do love KFC…I mean it’s this thing that I have never had before me and Alex and it’s my favorite take-out food stuff in the world. I like it even better than the fancy stuff we had at that dinner party thing that Adam had ambushed me at.

It might have something to do with how much I hate the Stepshit.

We never went out for take-out or fast food because it was too expensive or…when they did it wasn’t with me.

He actually called any kind of fried chicken “Crow.” Because it was ni***r food.

Yeah and no-name brand minced fish sticks and food bank French fries was better.

I am so going to acquire a taste for watermelon.

There’s another thing I have never tried in my life.

No black food, no jew food, no beaner food…

Not that we could afford stuff past him drinking and the drugs and mom’s habit too.

I really should stop calling her that though.

She really wasn’t ever a mother in any sense of the word.

Sigh…no more, no more letting that stuff drag away at my good times. I reach into one of the buckets of chicken and I dig through until I find my fave. The thigh, it’s my fave because it has all the nummy skin and stuff and yeah my piece is really greasy as stuff gets and I love it just like this as is.

We actually take all of it and we head to the TV room.

That’s just so…

I mean it’s not the living room or the dining room or the kitchen or the den nope it’s the TV room.

Seriously this is how some people live?

Okay I know its Adam has the cash and stuff how they live but still.

I almost stop eating my chicken.

“Woah…”

And that of course makes Adam have that sort of smug guy thing about his toys and stuff and at the same time it’s kind of fun to watch him show it off a little bit since he’s so proud of it and it’s such a guy thing.

Actually it is kind of neat and it does tickle my inner geek enough I go over and watch as he sets up everything and I look on and then get a seat on one of the love seats with Alex as the movie starts and we both have plates of the stuff that we like.

And they’re playing more Disney movies and some that I must see like *Pretty in Pink* oh that short haired blond girl in that so could have been a transgender girl these days.

Yeah I know I’m not actually but I am actually too as much as I’m intersexed. It’s still stuff that I think about.

It’s way too bad no one gets to make something for these kids like me. I guess it’s something that mainstream people just would never be cool with.

Like OMG if some regular kid saw it it’d turn them gay…

I swear these people really need to listen to themselves…no…I was going to say think but there’s a whole lot of that not really going around either.

Been that way for a long time.

Just look at the city.

Detroit if you just take a couple of wrong turns can be pretty easily mistaken for Beirut. And trust me as one who’s lived there all her life I think I’d rather take my chances over there than here.

Okay maybe not there’s stuff I’ve seen since being in school about how women and girls get treated over there and other stuff that has me really not wanting to go there. Too skinny and too weak and too blonde.

LoL…okay I’m all of that for like most parts of the city here.

Kinda why I went punker gay boy emo kid. Sort of a lot safer in ways, there was a lot of people that…well thought that I was too messed up already to beat on.

And you know despite all that stuff all the crappy stuff that had me living in hell back then. I still want to go and do something to make things better, I still want to go and get my degree and come back maybe and help people.

I mean I’m not that too far removed from all of that stuff yet.

Which is why I just keep thinking about it.

Maybe feel a little bit of guilt too.

I mean I’m here.

Me…

Someone who’s pretty much a nobody and I’m living like this.

Now I just got to convince myself that I deserve it.

Alex…he just seems to be able to read me and my moods and partway through *Hidalgo* he wraps those big arms around me and pulls me close and I snuggle in to his muscled body and all that awesome body heat.

He doesn’t say anything he just does it and it really helps.

It’s a good movie.

I’m pretty sure though I’d be scared to death around horses and stuff.

The cake is okay…I’m a fan of food period and this was okay but this is the first time I’ve had black forest cake and I’m not sure that I like it.

I don’t think that I’m a fan of cherries and chocolate in this kind of combination. Alex forgoes it and so does Adam so I don’t feel too bad at the half a piece that I ate but Jen and Cindy and April are doing the whole into it girly thing.

I think I’d need a coffee without sugar to balance it off or something.

We’re done after that movie I mean we watched like three of them and I was falling asleep and as much as I love my KFC too much of a good thing and all of that is just…so well we send the leftovers home with Jen and she kind of needs it since she’s actually on a serious kind of budget and stuff with the money from her Dad and stuff.

We hug and stuff and I’m soon headed up to our place with Alex and I’m tired and sleepy and stuff so it’s him getting stuff ready for tomorrow and school and stuff while I take a bath and I put “The what in the where.”

It’s…oh jeeze I just sort of blush thinking about it and stuff even though it’s like something that I need to do for a while just to be sure that things don’t decide to like do something silly and heal up a little skewed or off-skewed.

My body is still screwed up as it is and stuff from everything.

How bad?

My doc actually said he hadn’t seen that much old breaks and stuff in my x-rays and the scars and stuff outside of combat personnel.

So not to like belittle anything that anyone went through with that stuff but yeah…that’s how screwed up my body is and apparently my life in meth houses and crack shacks didn’t do me any favors either.

I look around as I get out of the bathroom and get dressed in my bed clothes and sigh. Maybe here is where I can finally like get some healing done inside and out?

Alex kisses me and he heads into the shower and has his own and I climb into bed and I’m hit with that home feeling again that has me biting my lower lip.

Home…my bed, our bed but it feels…

You know that thing where you’ve been away and you finally get home and you get to sleep in your bed?

I’m getting that now, feeling it for like the first time.

Alex looks at me when he gets out. “You okay?”

“Yeah I’m just having that kind of hitting me again.”

“What?”

“That actual feeling of home?”

“You are home.”

“But it’s still something that I never really got before Alex; everything else was kinda just a squat. I’m having that full on thing where I had no idea I missed our bed so much until I climbed in it tonight.”

He smiles that soft little secret smile of his…that one that’s only partway on his lips but all the way in his eyes and I sigh and tilt my head up to meet him as he leans down to kiss me and we do that for a while before we end up snuggling up together and actually sleeping.

I missed that too…curling up with him and spooning.

It actually takes me the better part of three quarters of an hour before sleep overtakes me.

The rest of that time I was just sort of soaking in that feeling.

Home, safe and loved.