The Bat and the Dragon
By Paul Calhoun
I've been desirous of going back to romance plots and this one (like everything else) has been in the pipe for a long time.
My first time writing a gay couple starting that way rather than becoming through disguise and circumstance. I couldn't resist putting in a bit of stereotypical dialogue (though stereotype for me is very different since mine comes from reading so many books written by LGBT scholars).
Oh, right, plot. Halloween party, one decides he's tired of being the only married gay couple at the parties, skinsuit, catwoman, evening out. Obligatory cameo by characters from other story arc. How big is this town anyway and how come there are so many people buying skinsuits there? Hey, that sounds like the plot of a story!
Pei saw Rais looking intently at his screen. Walking over, he draped himself across Rais, his hands on Rais’s chest and his chin resting on his shoulder. “Wat’cha doin?” He asked in a cutesy voice, playing with Rais’s auburn hair.
“Looking at costumes,” Rais said, squeezing Pei’s hand but also minimizing the window.
“Aw, lemme look!” Pei said. When Rais only turned and pulled Pei down into a kiss, Pei pouted. “Fine! I didn’t want to go to the party anyway. People these days still look at us like we’re some kind of side show.” He crossed his arms, quickly losing his petulant pose when Rais tickled him. “Hey! No fair!” He laughed.
“Listen, muffin.” Rais said, teasingly chewing on Pei’s nose. “You trust me, right?”
“Then you find yourself a Batman costume. One with nice clingy tights and a sexy cape. Then trust me that they’ll be staring at us, but not because we’re gay.”
Pei moved up quickly and flicked Rais’s tongue with his own. “What’s the plan?”
Rais grinned. “I told you. Let me take care of it.”
“OK.” Pei said, nestling into Rais’s lap, “but if I’m showing myself off in tights and rubber undies, this had better be good.”
Rais had sent Pei away on an errand and told him that when he got back, he’d see what Rais had in store for him. He locked their bedroom door and opened the box that he’d worked hard to hide from his husband. It looked like a wig of black hair sticking out of a black mask with small pointed ears sticking out the top. Rais put his hand deep in the box and lifted the one piece costume out, laying it on the bed. The mask appeared to have a face already inside, resembling Selina Kyle in the most recent video game. Rais had never been a fan of leather, so the Catwoman costume was mostly lycra and spandex with a leather midriff, leather gloves and boots. The gloves had metal claws, the mask had a pair of attached goggles and the back of the costume had a tail that could be twisted and detached as a whip.
The person he’d bought it from had sent him a laser drive when he’d sent back after using it to get his measurements. According to the maker, it would be precisely padded and cinched to give the maximum effect. What Rais was sure of as he unzipped the front and pulled on the leg to get his foot down to the boot was that it was a tight fit. He had to turn the instructions around several times and spend almost twenty minutes puzzling out how to bend and enfold his penis in the enclosure in the crotch of the costume. The rest went on with ease and he zipped the suit up to his neck, stretched the mask over his head and spent another fifteen minutes settling the mix of skinlike prosthetic and fabric over his face. The zipper went up past the neck and disappeared under a bit of skin under the jaw. The woman looking back at Rais from the mirror was a bit thick set with a medium sized chest, nice hips and a pretty good looking butt, though Rais wasn’t much of a connoisseur. The features of the mask made him look cute, but not really sexy, as they overlaid a slightly pudgy face.
The newly minted Selina looked disappointed and rummaged in the box, working at gripping things in hands covered by leather and fingers tipped with metal. Looking back at the instructions, she put her hand on her hip, frowned, and upended the box. A tiny key with a pair of wide wings that looked to be made for a wind up doll fell silently onto the bed. She picked it up and ran her claws down her sides, looking for a seam. After several minutes of frustratingly fruitless searching, she finally found what she was looking for and gingerly peeled a thick layer of lycra and something else from her hip. The perfectly circular patch hung down and beneath was a thin socket. She pushed the key in and squeezed the wings, feeling something extend out from the key. Looking back at the page for reassurance, she sucked herself in as best she could — the leather midriff peace was actually very tight and she didn’t get much extra room there — and turned the key. It resisted heavily and she didn’t get more than a quarter turn before her arm was shaking with effort. It didn’t help that the midriff piece along with every other part of the costume had grown achingly tight.
Selina let go of the key and it spun straight back to its original orientation. She pouted, then giggled at seeing herself in the mirror. Girl lips made sulking a lot more attractive. Rais had been so excited to show off his new purchase to Pei all in one go, but there was no avoiding the fact he needed help and he’d rather Pei see him first. Selina unlocked the door — her legs shaking as Rais found out how much effort very high heels entailed — and called, “Are you back yet, draggie?”
“Yeah, toots. Is the surprise ready?”
“Uh, I’m going to need your help with this last part.”
“Kay! Be right there.” Pei turned the corner into their bedroom and stopped short. “Wha?”
“Hey, babe!” Rais chirped, throwing her arms around Pie and kissing him. “Like the new look?”
“Wha…?” Pei continued to drone.
Rais laughed and kissed Pei. “Surprise! I told you they wouldn’t looking at us as a gay couple!” Selina presented her key hip to Pei. “Do you mind winding me up a little?”
Pei took the key and started turning. “I’m wondering who is winding up who here.”
“Aw, don’t be like that, sweetie.” Rais puffed.
“Very. So what’s wrong?”
“How long should I do this?”
“Until it clicks.”
Pei continued to slowly rotate the key. “It’s passing, isn’t it? Creating a hetero pseudonymous identity.”
“That doesn’t stop this from being a form of surrender.”
The key clicked and Rais put his arms around Pei, reveling in the fact that for once his boyfriend was the one forced to tip his head up as they kissed. “Nonsense. It’s just a costume party giving us the chance to explore different gender roles and attitudes for the night. Anyone who knows you will know it’s me wearing this and everyone else can go fly a kite for all I care. You know me too well to think I’ll somehow decide to be a girl forever to make a few idiots feel better about themselves.”
“No, I mean you look amazing.”
Rais turned and Selina stared at herself. “Wow! He was right; this outfit is gorgeous. I look like a movie star.” She wiggled her nose. “OK, second billing, but still on screen.” She took the key out, smoothed patch back into place and fiddled with a knob on the key. “There,” she said, her voice softening. “It said that if I keep talking, the software will, yes, there it is.” She beamed at Pei and said in a soft, kitten voice, “This was how I’d planned to greet you.” She took a few tottering steps back and then moved forwards in a sinuous sashay, putting one hand under the cascade of raven hair to flick it as she got close. “Hey, sexy. Looking for someone?” She planted a kiss on Pei’s lips.
“I’d have run for the hills.”
“Scared of little old me?” Selina cooed.
“Of what Rais would have done if he’d caught me with you.”
Selina looked down. “And your reaction?” She couldn’t keep a straight face anymore and cracked up. “It works better for me than you. You’re bi, and I’m not. I don’t find myself all that attractive. I mean, I know I’m a sexy lady, but I’m not feeling very lustful after myself. Only for what you’re going to do when the party is over. Oh, and don’t tell me you don’t find me sexy.” She rubbed Pei’s chest. “I can tell you do.” She pushed her hips into him, feeling the pressure from his erection through the costume. Plus I remember last Halloween when we both dressed in drag. You had such a hard-on. And I bet it wasn’t just for me, was it?”
Pei smiled. “I might have a fetish or two.”
Selina’s grin widened. “Oh, I’m so looking forward to having you to myself tonight.” They melted into each other’s embrace for a blissful stretch of infinity, then Selina put her hand on Pei’s rear and gave him a push. “Now put on your tights and rubber pants. That is, if you agree this is a good idea.”
“Tights and cape coming up, kitten.” Pei said.
“Make sure that’s all that’s coming.” Selina called after him. “I want you fresh tonight. Though,” she smiled and pressed up close, “I want your honest opinion.” Rais lifted one foot off the ground and placed her thigh in Pei’s hand. “How does it feel? Give me a proper once over.”
Pei’s hand traveled up and down Selina’s lycra clad leg, then let it return to the floor as he moved up her body. “Not too much there,” she half purred, half gasped as his fingers quested lightly between her legs.
“You can feel that?”
Pei’s hands continued, stroking her back and then cupping her breasts. “How about this?”
Rais shook his head. “Nothing.”
“That’s a shame. I’ve been told it’s very pleasant for real girls.”
Selina kicked him. “That’s enough of that. Now dish, muffin. How is it?”
“Whatever you’ve got under this Catwoman costume feels like a real female anatomy.” Pei said. “I wish I had more time to examine it, though.”
“We’re getting late as it is,” Rais said, gently turning him around. “So we’d better save that for later.” Selina bit her lip. “Much as I wish we could keep going.”
“One more thing,” Pei said, sticking his head around the doorframe. “If you’d gotten that thing cinched up and were seducing me, how far would you have gone if I hadn’t figured it out right away?”
“Draggie, I don’t think I could have resisted chasing you all around the house. Though I probably would have tripped on these damn heels eventually and been at your mercy.”
Pei flashed a smile. “You’re a twisted little boy.”
“Who’re you calling a boy? Now scoot.” Selina licked her lips. “Unless you need help.”
Pei vanished and Selina followed at a leisurely pace, trying to get used to the aforementioned boots. “These things are a killer. I’m going to need Batman’s strong arm all evening to hang on.” She stuck her tongue out. “Blech. I see now why all the girls hang on their boyfriends. It’s not love, it’s podiatric distress!”
“Maybe I ought to carry you.” Pei called.
“Don’t tempt me, woman!”
“Oh man, cupcake, I want you so much.” Selina said when Pei emerged fully costumed.
“You talk like you, but you don’t sound or look like you,” Pei said. “It’s kind of kinky and kind of disturbing.
“Don’t worry.” Selina said, grabbing Pei’s cheeks and squeezing as she kissed him. “I’m totally Rais and totally yours. You can even introduce me as your husband at the party if you want. I just thought this would be a cute way to make things more comfortable at a public gathering.”
“And you wanted to drive me nuts by dressing up as the sexiest girl at the party.”
“That too.” Selina agreed. “Is it working?”
“Too well,” Pei replied. “I’m glad these are very restrictive pants or everyone would see. I guess I’ll have to drive.”
“Well, puddin’,” Selina said playfully, “on the one hand I don’t look like my license right now. On the other hand I have these,” she squeezed her boobs. “Decisions.”
“Wrong girlfriend,” Pei said. “That’s Harley Quinn. That too,” he added when Selina stuck her tongue out at him.
“I want to be sure of one thing, though. You’re not uncomfortable with this, right? I know it’s a little bit of heteronormative surrender. It’s also really fun and I’m going to be laughing my sweet new ass off when people mistake us for a quote unquote normal couple. So are we good?”
“Oh yeah,” Pei said. “I thought about it while I was putting the Batman costume on. It’s Halloween after all and how can I argue with this?” He tickled Rais. “The consideration of giving me one night where I feel like nobody is giving me the evil eye except because I have the best girl there. And because I am bi and you are the most attractive female possible. You look like a supermodel and you’ve got the mind of the sweet man I married.”
“Changing gender roles must be working,” Rais said. “I’m tearing up.”
“It must be,” Pei said, gently dabbing at Selina’s eyes with a tissue. “Hey!” He said brightly, “That means I’m the butch tonight.”
“Don’t expect too much submission,” Selina warned him. “I’m still Catwoman.”
“Yeah, but I’m Batman. Let’s go!”
“That’s the Teen Titans!”
“Curses, foiled again!”
“No, he said ‘Drat, drat and double drat.’ I win so I get to do this.” He swept Rais up in his arms and pulled his cape around them. “Up up and-“ His misquote was interrupted as Selina put her arms around him and occupied his mouth with hers, not letting go until he was setting her down on the passenger seat.
“Is your butt as comfortable to sit on as it was to hold?” Pei asked as he started the car.
“You know what, it’s really comfy.” Selina replied. “I have a great ass!” She shifted uncomfortably. “The rest is taking some getting used to, though.”
“I know where that hand wants to go.” Pei said, watching Selina’s claws drum on her thigh.
“I’m not giving in to temptation.” Selina said virtuously. “It’s bad enough alone with you, but imagine if I started scratching at the party. Very unladylike. This however,” she tugged on her leather midriff in a vain attempt to get it to loosen, “I think I can allow myself occasionally.”
“I feel like my balls are being squeezed a bit too hard and my cock is being pulled in an unnatural direction. I’m being distracted somewhat by the fact that my insides feel like they’ve been rearranged.” She said. “Oh, and boobs are heavy. I’m sure you know that, but I’d never given it much thought before tonight.”
“The sheath looks great, though. It even gives you a bit of a camel toe. If I didn’t know it was you, I’d never guess.”
“Thanks!” She rubbed Pei’s leg. “You look pretty sexy yourself.” She absently picked at her legging. “Tell me the truth. Do you like me better this way?”
“That was fast. I hope you’re not disappointed.”
“Not at all. Seeing you like that makes my heart race. Kissing you with those lips is breathtaking. Cupping your ass and feeling your tits against my chest-“
“I get it! I’m a smoldering font of feminine sexuality.” Selina laughed.
“But really, it’s just because I know it’s you. It’s no different from when I wear skinny jeans and a girly tank top for you or you put on that sharp evening suit I like so much. It’s showing off how much we love each other by going the distance in looking pleasing.”
Selina’s hand moved up along Pei’s thigh. “I have never wanted you more than I do now. If this wasn’t my idea, I’d be begging you to turn the car around.”
“Right back at ya, kitten. I’m going to owe you so much after tonight. There’s going the distance and then there’s stratospheric and tiger, you’re in outer space now. You’re right. I love drag and this is a show I’m never going to forget. I’m going to be spending months thinking about how I’m going to match this.”
“I know you’re up to the challenge.”
“Why did you pick Batman and Catwoman anyway?” Pei asked.
Selina shrugged. “It seemed right. I wanted a superheroine with a lot of mask since I wasn’t sure how good the girl part of it would look.”
“Why not Batwoman or Batgirl then?”
“They didn’t seem as classy.”
“Yeah, but they have redder hair. That’s what I fell in love with.”
“I can’t want you any more, draggie, so you’re wasting romance on me.”
“It’s never a waste”
“It is when you bring me to the edge of insisting that we go home and skip the evening’s entertainment. Anyway, I wanted a change of color. You fell in love with an earth tone, but I fell in love with someone with black hair.
Even when Pei was driving, Rais usually got out of the car first to help him. It was a little thing they did as an ongoing joke about how Rais was the dominant one. After parking, however, Pei quickly got out and circled to Selina’s door, opening it for her before she could untangle her unfamiliar extra flesh from the seatbelt. She took Pei’s hand and her fond look at the reversal grew to an embarrassed smile at the realization that she actually needed his steadying hand to get on her feet. “I remember you walking in heels not much lower than these last Halloween.” She said wryly.
“Practice,” Pei said, his arm around her middle and hers around his shoulders. “You’re doing really well for your first time.”
“You’re my husband. You have to be encouraging.”
“Have I ever lied to you?”
“No, but you might be a bit more supportive than honest sometimes.”
“All right, you do have a bit to learn.” Pei admitted. “You ought to have practiced before you just went out.” He gently took Selina’s arm off of him and moved behind her. Putting his hands on her hips, he said, “OK, now walk.”
“This is going to look weird to anyone watching.”
“They’ll just think I’m playing around with you. Which I am a little. Now go.” He held her as she walked, moving her hips to force her to change how she moved. “Now remember to put your feet in front of each other. Good. Try to go so that your tail swings a little more. Yeah, like that.” By the time they reached the door, Selina was walking more comfortably and when Pei let go, she confidently kept going. “See? You do pick it up quick.”
Selina wiggled her hips. “I sure do.”
Pei moved ahead of her to hold the door, playfully grabbing at her tail as she passed. “This really helps highlight your motions.”
She reached back, twisted and pulled. The tail came away and she gave it to him. “I know you’ve been wanting a closer look. I felt you lift it up earlier, but we were in a hurry.”
“Are you sure it was the tail I was staring at?”
“We’ll find out when I let you put it back on.”
“I so wish I was the one allowed to say ‘meow’ whenever you make a sexual innuendo.”
Selina scratched his jaw lightly. “Suffer.” Her scratch became a caress. “You know, this mask really shows off your bone structure.”
“Yeah, that’s what you’ve had your eye on all night.” Pei said.
“Are you saying I don’t appreciate your face, cupcake?”
“I’m saying that your hand is on the part of me you’re really thinking about.”
Selina looked down. “Oops.” She said, not moving.
“People are staring, kitten.” Pei reminded her.
“And for all the right reasons.”
When they were in the club proper, Rais tugged on Pei’s arm and they made a beeline for the bar. “I’m getting a little nervous,” Selina explained as she ordered a daquri. Their progress had drawn the occasional look, though not nearly as many as when they went out normally. Rais’s costume was getting appreciative glances from the attached men and longer ogles from those without dates. Pei wasn’t doing too badly himself, though he was no Bruce Wayne. This relaxed Rais more than the drink and soon he was being pulled semi-protesting onto the dance floor. “Not too much,” Selina admonished. “My feet hurt already. Not to mention,” her voice dropped, “usually I’m the one leading. Oh, and every so often I do something that makes me very aware that the gap between my legs is artificial.”
They were pressed together in a slow dance when a young, curly haired man in a fox demi-mask walked up to them. “I thought it was you two.” He said. “Not that I’d know Rais if I saw him without you.”
“Like it?” Selina asked, pulling away from Pei to do a half-turn.
“It’s a good look on you,” Reg said. “Though I’m sure you’re suffering for it.”
“I don’t mind.” Selina replied. “It’s a nice change to be the object of attention for a more flattering reason.” She winked. “Though normally I’d feel flattered at having so many men look at me that way, doing so as a lady makes me appreciate just how demeaning it is.”
“People.” Reg rolled his eyes. “Half a century after equal rights and they still can’t change some things.”
“As for suffering, I think you would be sure, wouldn’t you?” Pei said. “I remember a couple of years ago when there were two Kellys in that llama outfit.”
“It was a pushmi-pullyu costume,” Kelly said, her feathered cloak billowing out as she returned from talking to a plain looking older man. “My husband is right, though. You look stunning. A bit awkward on those heels, though.”
“My husband decided to try to go from flats to five inches with no prior experience.” Pei told her.
“Ballsy.” Kelly said, getting a snorting laugh from the other three. “It’s actually a bit classical for you two. I know you two have a more extensive knowledge of comics than to pick the obvious.”
Rais explained the decision to go with Catwoman adding, “Also, there’s a bit of glamour that I couldn’t resist. The alluring anti-heroine who combines competence and sensual distraction. You’d agree, wouldn’t you? You were the most convincing Starling I’ve ever seen last year.”
“Well, perhaps,” Kelly replied with a small smile. “I know Reg enjoyed playing the easily seduced bodyguard.”
“It doesn’t take a lot to be seduced by you,” Reg told her.
As they danced apart, Pei said to Rais, “I still think she might be a tranny.”
“And I think you’re mistaking a warm and open spirit for shared experience,” Selina replied. “Look at her.”
“Look at yourself, kitty cat.” Pei said. “Masks off and you two could be sisters right now.”
Selina frowned. “Now you mention it, there is some resemblance.” She chucked Pei on the arm. “Now you have me wondering too!”
“Do you need to sit down?”
“I wish I could say no.” She yelped a little when Pei swept her off her feet. “You’re going to get back at me for every time I did that to you, aren’t you?” She accused, pressing her cheek to his chest.
“You’d have to live in that costume for months before I evened that score.” Pei said, setting her down at a table on the edge of the dance floor. He sat across from her and they held hands over the table. “I don’t think of it as getting you back, Rais. I think of it as repaying you for it and showing you how nice it is to have a dom to pick you up when your feet are tired.”
“It is nice,” Rais agreed. “Though I think you’re also doing it to get a good grip on my butt.”
“What’s the point in padding it if I don’t get to feel it up at every decent — and when we get home, indecent — excuse?”
“You want to know something else that’s nice about this outfit?” Rais asked.
“I can have all the fantasies I want and stare at you and feel tingly all over,” Selina said longingly, “and it doesn’t show one tiny bit on the outside. You, however,” her free hand snaked down under the table and squeezed between Pei’s legs, “are showing very clearly, tight rubber or no.”
They stayed and chatted with friends who recognized Pei in passing — a few refused to believe that Catwoman was Rais, even when he insisted he was. When Reg and Kelly went by again, Rais drew Reg into a discussion on what it was like for him to play Kelly’s twin. Pei found himself having to accept several compliments on his date, a few of which also expressed congratulations on having gone straight again. “Pricks,” he said to Rais, who giggled and suggested that Selina break a few hearts for revenge. “Oh no,” Pei replied. “You’re all mine. Besides,” she made a face, “the more I make other guys drool over me, the worse I feel. No wonder all the books talk about the male gaze! It’s frightening after awhile.”
“I know. It’s one thing to read about it and another to see.” Pei agreed. “I’ve never felt more protective of you.”
“Don’t get too used to it,” Rais said seriously. “You’re my little muffin and the moment I’m no longer a ‘weak and vulnerable’ woman, we’re going right back to me being the protective one.”
The costume awards didn’t go to anyone they knew and on their way out, Selina squeaked at being groped by a stranger and was laid out by Pei. “My hero,” she said half-mockingly, holding on to him in the car.
“I know. You could have disemboweled him yourself. Allow me the fantasy of the evening of being the gentleman.”
At home, they got off their feet with a contented sigh, Selina sitting on Pei’s lap. “I could sit like this forever,” she said, curling up. Pei stroked her shoulder and she closed her eyes. “Though we have to go to bed eventually.”
Nearly an hour later, she stretched and kissed Pei. “Do I kiss better as a girl?”
“It’s different,” Pei said. “I kind of like your manly lips, though. There’s a bit too much to these. Too soft for my taste.”
“So was it nice? Me being a female and us not having to be the fine upstanding homosexual couple who everyone watches out of the corner of their eye?”
“Nice, but not worth it.” Pei said.
“No?” Selina asked, looking dejected.
Pei stroked her cheek. “I’d spend the rest of my life being stared at to be stared at for being with you.” He said.
“All right, you’re coming to bed with me right now.” Selina said. “Could you undo this for me?” She asked, fingering a zipper on the side of the leather midriff piece.
“That’s not how you got into it,” Pei said. “I remember you showing me the zipper in the front.”
“I know,” Selina said, giving Pei a smoldering look as she wiggled out of the midriff and laid it aside. There was a zipper beneath that on the back of the lycra bodysuit which ran down to the base of her spine. Teasingly, she removed her gloves, showing off red-painted nails on both her fingers and her toes when she lifted her stirrup-clad feet out of the boots she’d undone while Pei was working. “One last surprise for the evening,” she said, pulling the Catwoman mask off and arching her back so the zipper was in his face. “Why don’t you unwrap it?”
Pei’s breath caught when he saw the smooth, creamy skin beneath. “This wasn’t just a Catwoman costume.” He said.
Selina shook her head, licking her lips. “Nope. You said you kina, maybe missed a tiny bit what it felt like to do a woman.” The top fell away, the rest still clinging to her curves below the waist. “I knew you were being nice and not admitting that it’s better with girls.”
“Not better,” Pei corrected. “Different. An experience I gladly gave up to have you.”
“Now you don’t have to.” Rais said. “Though I can’t promise it’ll be the same. I have no experience myself and I didn’t have much time to see how deep this,” he put a finger between his legs, “goes.”
“One thing.” Pei told her.
“Turn the voice off. I want to hear you when we do this.” He handed her the key.
Selina’s eyes shone as she turned the knob. “Thanks, draggie.”
“None needed, tiger. It’s you I love.”
Rais took his hand and led them towards the bedroom. “Oh, and something else. I bought a couple of outfits to go with this. You get to pick what I wear when we go out for breakfast tomorrow morning.”
“Even if it’s your evening suit?”
“Even that. Though I was hoping you’d pick something that let me keep this costume on. It’s … kind of nice. I also want to get everything I can out of it before I take it off. This thing’s a pain to put on.”
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow morning. Late tomorrow morning.”
“Hey, guess what?”
“That was innuendo. Meow!”
“You’re a dork, tiger.”
“I love you too, draggie.”
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