Un-Tuck-ing Believable

Un-Tuck-ing Believable

***an unauthorized Tuck fanfic***

By Melanie E.

I've been wanting more Tuck for a while now, but since Ellen has pulled her disappearing act again (with any luck without any major personal issues -- we love ya Ellen!) it seems the only way I'll see any more any time soon is to write it myself.

This may be a limited time release: if/when Ellen sees this, should she ask me to remove it I will. Until then, though, I hope people can enjoy my personal take on the adventures of one of TG fiction's longest-running characters.

18:37 9 May

I looked out into the crowd and wondered how I had managed to get talked into this again. You would think experience would make me a smarter, wiser person.

The crowd giggled.

*Now or never, old bean.*

I almost went to smooth my skirt as I stood up and faced the enemy, then I remembered I wasn't wearing one. That caused a momentary brain lock up, and I guess a stupid look to cross my face, because the giggling intensified.

*Why me?* I asked myself. *Money,* my brain answered unhelpfully.

Mike just sat next to me, splitting his time between watching the crowd wearily and giving me dirty looks. Not like he could blame me; he was the one who made the bet with Debbie.

And he wanted the money too.

"Get it over with, would ya Tuck?"

I took a deep breath, finding my center, then gave the crowd my brightest salesman's smile. "Good afternoon, ladies." That got me a brief moment of applause. "Now, I know Mary Kay is a bit of a joke with everyone, but they really do make some superior products in my opinion. And, I brought my bud Mike here to prove it!" That got us another round of applause, and a few catcalls.

Mike just glared at me.

*Your fault,* I signed him, getting a sign that required no ASL training to understand in answer. Instead of responding I reached into the toolbox of supplies Deb had lent me and started pulling out what I thought I would need.

19:12 9 May

"Aaaaand voila!" I crowed, stepping back from Mike. "Take a look ladies. Whadda ya think?"

"Ohmigod he's so CUTE!" I heard someone yell, and that led to another round of giggles in the audience.

Not that the giggles had ever really stopped.

Mike just sat there, looking put upon. It had taken more work than I had thought it would to make him look like a semi-attractive girl, but I supposed the greater the transformation the more effective the marketing, or something like that.

"Are you gonna kiss him now?" Someone else in the crowd yelled, getting a chorus of yelps and even more giggles from the crowd.

"NO!" Mike snapped instantly, while for just a moment my mind wandered back to the times I had served as Debbie's guinea pig at these things.

I must have started smiling at the thought, because someone else yelled "I think he wants to!"

That wiped the smile pretty fast.

20:55 9 May

"I can't believe you did that!" Mike complained, taking another swig of the mouthwash he had made me stop at a convenience store and pay way too much for.

"They wanted me to," I said with a shrug, then grabbed the mouthwash and took a long pull of my own, spitting on the sidewalk when I was done. The kiss hadn't been pleasant for me either. "Besides, did you see how many consults I managed to sign up for? And how much we sold?"

Mike paused. "You said I get twenty--"

"FIFTEEN percent, Mike. Same as I got."


"Hey, I'm only getting sixty percent myself," I moaned back before he could finish. "So no complaints, alright?"

He didn't say anything else, but he really wanted to, I could tell.

21:37 9 May

"...and I have two consults tomorrow afternoon, then another two next Saturday, plus one lady who wanted a consult during the week. Here's her contact information," I told Debbie, handing her everyone's orders, plus the checks and cash (minus our, me and Mike's, cut) plus everyone's contact information.

"Okay," Deb said distractedly as she scanned the forms to make sure everything was in order. I knew it was. Deb would kill me otherwise. "How'd Mike do?" She asked me when she finished, grinning evilly.

I grinned evilly right back. "Ohoho...."

22:04 9 May

"Never again," Mike said through a mouthful of chow mein. Taking him out to dinner was the least I could do.

*After all, I already got my goodnight kiss,* I chuckled to myself.

"Yes, again, Mike," I told him. "You're the one who made the bet with Debbie, so you have to do it at least once more."

"There's no 'at least' about it, Tuck," he grumbled, chasing a slippery slice of water chestnut with his chopsticks.

"It's easy money," I pointed out.

"No it isn't," he argued, the water chestnut finally giving up its struggle to avoid demise.

"Well, you could always see if Debbie would let you buy out of the obligation," I said. Not that I really knew if she WOULD, but if it involved money Deb was willing to compromise on a lot of things.

"You think?" He asked, a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes.

I just shrugged.


Welp, that's it for my little slice of Tuck-ness. I hope it was fun! Let's all hope Ellen gets back at things soon!

For anyone who isn't already familiar with Tuck, well, where have you been?! Anyway, here' a link to Ellen's web site. It's worth reading. I've done so at least ten times myself.

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