Five years ago to keep my job I used my sister’s name…
My attitude necessitated a change to stay employed…
2008, the worst two four-letter words regarding a job were ‘pink slip’…
Julie and I were expecting our second child. This would not be a good time to lose my job...
I had been passed over for job promotions... I blamed everyone but me.

Toni and Momma Giuseppe, the owners, greeted us as we entered their restaurant. They gave hugs and kisses to Bridgette, Cathy, and Ashley. “And who is your friend this morning;” Mama looks to me and says, “Welcome.”

Ashley had helped me with my voice and I have enough confidence in speaking for myself. Momma Giuseppe speaks to me, “The more you talk for yourself and be the attractive woman I see; the better you will be.”

I am embarrassed as I thought she was making fun of my voice, and I stand to leave. But Momma Giuseppe grabs me by the arm and walks me to a small dining room. “I am a sorry if I embarrass you, but please you do not embarrass them by walking off. You have a pretense in your attitude that you are better. I do not know what I did that offended you, but I respect the young woman you are trying to be. No one here, including me, wishes to embarrass you. These three women are our good friends and if I did something wrong I want to correct it here and now. I do not want to lose their friendship and I would like to gain yours.”

Bridgette came back to us, “I apologize to both of you.” She turns to Momma, “How did you know she’s not a woman?” Momma looks at me, looks again even harder, and then she says, “You are kidding me; I thought she was someone you are working with, trying to help gain confidence? …I am sorry I didn’t realize.” Momma is now nervous and upset with herself.

“No wonder you like being a woman, you make a beautiful young woman.” Momma sees a smile come to Bridgette’s face. “What about being a woman do you like the most,” Momma Giuseppe asks me?

I say, “I am not used to passing as a woman and I am not comfortable yet in public. I am to go to work this afternoon or tomorrow and I am scared,” I tell her.

Momma Giuseppe, “As you see I am an old woman and you impressed me to be another woman. Does your workplace know you are coming?”

I say, “Not everyone knows but my boss knows. She encourages me to treat it like I am starting over.”

Momma smiles, “You and Bridgette, you come here after work and sip a glass of wine and eat some cheese to celebrate and unwind. …Excuse me, I should let you get your breakfast.”

Bridgette turns to me, “You turned another event into a positive and made a good friend. I hope you see the good side of this?” Part of me wanted to be angry and use the moment to sabotage what I’m being forced to do. But I am beginning to see I have an opportunity. I stand up, smooth out my outfit and ask if I look okay.

Bridgette says, “Let us go to the women’s room and you can check for yourself.” Bridgette led us back to the table to get our purses which I had not thought of. She told them at the table, “Order me the fresh fruit parfait please.”

I said, “That sounds good but please add a cheese Danish or another pastry like it.” I could see the worry on Cathy and Ashley’s faces, so I smiled to relieve them a little. I feel clumsy in heels and I find I have to watch more closely where I am walking. Simple things like a little lip of the doorway, and I have to watch for any chance of miss-stepping.

Once in the women’s room, I look at myself in the mirror and put my purse down by the sink I am using. My hair is slightly out of place and I look at Bridgette with my brush in hand. I want her to fix it, but soon know she wants me to help myself. Actually, I do okay and with my makeup as well. Mostly I just needed to refresh my lip gloss and use a tissue to help fix a smudge.

We both washed our hands, Bridgette is gentle in drying her hands. I try to copy her.

Hot tea and waters are waiting as we return. It reminds me of being with my mother and it gives me a good feeling.

I want to see the sports section of the newspaper. Bridgette says breakfast out should be an opportunity to visit without distractions or having to worry about preparing food or cleaning up afterward. I just want to read the sports section. I had not thought of it in that way since I never worry about those things. “Do you think my wife might look at it the same way?”

Marie, Ashley’s friend stopped at our table to visit but left as soon as the food arrives. Marie says to Ashley, “Just what you need another role model to follow.” I thought it funny that I would be seen as a girl’s role model. Ashley did not giggle or suggest in any way that Marie had gotten it wrong.

When we were finished at the restaurant; a taxi is there to pick us up. Bridgette asks Cathy and Ashley if they want a ride back to their home. We have one-stop before getting me to work. It's at a salon, “But I thought I didn’t need to do this for a while?”

Francine asks if I want one or two earrings, so I tell her two. She shows me to a chair where she marks my ears. By two earrings I meant one on each side, but Francine understands it to mean two pairs. I soon have a diamond stud and a hoop in both ears. She places a gold double-strand necklace that sported three hoops. I like the cool feeling of the necklace on my skin. It adds a soft feminine dignified look.

The next stop is at the front door of my company. It feels strange yet thankfully new. I am glad that Bridgette accompanies me in. Instead of just walking in as I usually do. Bridgette guides us over to the receptionist. “We have an appointment to see Ms. Marilyn Watts. You can tell her Ms. Riley and Ms. Elaine Hall are here to see her.” We are told to take the third elevator to the twenty-first floor and go to Suite 2101. Mrs. Collins is there and remembers Bridgette and is very warm in welcoming me. “Ms. Hall, Ms. Lynn Watts told me you might be joining us this coming week. We will be happy to have you with us."

She took us back to Lynn’s office and introduces us.

Marilyn (Lynn) Watts stands beside her desk as we enter and walks over to Bridgette. Her smile and demeanor seem to indicate she is pleased with how I look. We sit in some chairs around a small table. Even my sitting was closely watched and thankfully I swept my skirt under me as I sat. I sat up straight until Lynn invites me to relax and sit back.

I casually cross my legs at my ankles and wanted others to speak first. Something inside motivates me to speak, “I want to thank you, Ms. Watts, for this opportunity to redeem myself and continue to work here.”

Bridgette spoke up, “Elaine relax a little, please focus on your posture.”

I knew Ms. Watts is impressed, while Bridgette says, “She’s off to a good start, but she’s a bit sensitive. Hopefully, she will gain confidence as she strives to reach her potential. She has plenty of room for growth and improvement. I can only hope she understands this will take time and effort.”

“She has good intelligence, but as you know she has had trouble playing and working with others. Her male ego thinks too highly of itself. If it has its way; it tries to use some false charm instead of sincere efforts to please others.”

Lynn Watts points to a small table with a computer; “You will be working over there on items I give you to work on. If others come in you will remain quiet and at your work. If I call you to meet someone or to meet with us, you shall do so discreetly. You are to limit your speaking to questions asked of you. Be observant and able to answer any questions I might have afterward. It will take some time for you to reach the potential and purpose I believe you have to make you valuable to this company.”

“The good news for now is I will maintain your salary at 80% where it had been only until you're proven to warrant the salary package I am holding aside for you.” I want to ask for both the title and the salary package that she is holding out to me. ‘I guess calling it good news means I would have been let go.’

“Bridgette, I want to thank you. I thought it was a little soon to expect Elaine to be here today. Will she be free to venture back to her apartment at the end of the day or will she have an escort to and from work for a while?”

“That is a good question,” Bridgette says. “I expect that she will be working until 6:00 p.m. for you regularly. You have the option to let her off earlier on rare occasions and later as needed to complete her work or in assisting you. Most professional women go the extra mile, I believe she would benefit from such a constitution. I also hope she will develop some sense of community with her co-workers.”

It wasn’t long after that Bridgette left, suggesting I look for her or Cathy at the end of the day down in the lobby.

Ms. Watts asks me to call her Lynn when we were alone, Ms. Watts or Marilyn around others. She works to get me to relax, asking simple questions like whether I picked out my own clothes or if I did my make-up. When she asks if my wife works as hard at her job as I did, I knew I'm being challenged to answer honestly.

While we often put in similar hours, it made me think. Julie has become a capable professional putting comparable hours at the office. But she also does more at home for our family as well as for work. It is not unusual for her to get up after we go to bed. The result is she is surer of herself for the beginning of a new workday as well as taking the responsibility for Robin, our daughter."

“Do I need to eat humble pie or is it enough that I understand what you are talking about,” I ask her?

Ms. Watts said, “I was not presuming anything, either way, so please explain what you were just thinking about, you and your wife as people and professionals.”

I move in a way that causes my bra to cut into me. I want to grab it and yank it off or at least straighten it out to ease the discomfort. I resist and explain, “I work hard and my wife does too. Lately, she has been taking the brunt of the responsibility at home and has been getting up half the nights to do a bit of extra work. I’m not sure how much of it is just stuff for us, or work-related. It’s probably some of both but I don’t know how much is for her job.”

Lynn asks about Julie’s pregnancy and if it caused me to take on any more responsibility? She surmises the answer. “A point I want to be understood, that type of behavior is not acceptable to me that includes at work. I don’t only want you to do your job, but to have an understanding of the workplace here and our customers as well. I want you not only to get a sale or secure a contract, but I want the atmosphere around you to change. Am I understood?”

I don’t quite get her concern for my home life, but I decide not to question her. I’m not even there at home to help anyway. I check my table as Lynn gets back to her work. She said there were two items on the table for me, but only one concerns a project we were developing for a client. The other is a magazine on the appearance of women in the workplace.

I put in a good two hours on the project and even checked with Stacy the co-worker heading up the project. I was embarrassed when I felt a need to tell her who I was. She said she needed the information I knew or could obtain for her. We even agreed to meet at 10:00 a.m. the next morning to strategize.

Come five o’clock I begin to read the article on women’s appearance in the workplace. Only a fraction of the article is about what I expected. Instead, it goes into how women are often being perceived, or how they can better communicate their ideas and contributions in the workplace.

I would have been upset to be perceived that way, but I see much of what I have been doing as a guy to discount their efforts. I wanted to slap Matt Collier when I saw him in the elevator on the way out. Matt is much like me, possibly with a bigger chip on his shoulders and less talent. But I don't want to reveal my identity to him nor do I think he would understand.

When I get home, back to the apartment that is, I called up a neighbor to where I live with Julie and Robin. I visit with their adult daughter. She's out of work and having trouble finding anyone to hire her. I ask if I can contract with her to work either two or three hours in the morning or in the afternoon to help Julie with Robin and a few chores. I tell her I am going to be gone for a while. I offer her ten dollars an hour, but soon find that is not realistic. We agree on the cost and she’ll work three hours each afternoon as Julie might find helpful. I suggest she could pick up Robin and take care of her until Julie is home at 6:00 p.m. and possibly help with a meal.

I get a phone call from Julie later that evening, saying thanks.

I'm upstairs to Bridgette and Cathy’s home and check on when we're going to eat. Cathy threw me an apron. “Put that on, Bridgette says you can help with dinner and learn to cook if you don’t know how.”

“I don’t,” I told Cathy, “ but I plan to relax and watch the news.”

“Forget that hopefully, you’ll learn to like doing some of this. If not tough. Ashley or Bridgette will help you learn after dinner how to launder your clothes and take better care of your apartment. The maid has off this week.”

I say, “Well, I guess I can help for the remainder of the week.”

Cathy laughs, “There’s no maid, and you better get familiar with carrying your load around here and at home if you get there.” ‘Why did she say ‘if’?

It is after dinner and Ashley's showing me the laundry room and how to take care of my clothes. She asks, “How is it going with your adjustment to being a girl?”

I laugh at her, “You wouldn’t understand if I tried to tell you.” She did a girl’s laugh back at me. I realize she must have seen several guys in my predicament, but it’s still not the same. I did find Ashley to be a good listener. She also tells me she had been a ‘street rat’ and that she too had to learn domestic chores.

It's almost 9:00 o’clock when Bridgette tells me, “Go put your shoes back on and change your blouse. Mama Giuseppe has been expecting you to report on how your day went.” I don’t want to go nor do I want to wear heels but they aren’t suggested. I even have to change my blouse again, not having made a good selection the first time.

On our way, I tell Bridgette the nice thing I did for Julie. All she says, “And you’re probably happy with yourself.” Well, I was and why shouldn’t I be. “I am glad you thought of it and acted on it. But will you take on more responsibility for sharing things when you get home?” The truth is I wasn’t planning to, but I know better than to say that. I'm upset with this feminist indoctrination, again I know better than to make any comment.

Mama G is happy to see us and gives us a nice table. She brings us a nice plate of cheese, bread, and a good bottle of vino. Mama sits with us and seems happy that I made it through the day and had some good experiences.

“So Elaine did my girl have a good day?” Mama asks giving a big smile and all of her attention. I couldn’t help but smile back, even though it's not my nature.

“Truthfully Mama Giuseppe it was probably a very good day but I’ll be happy when this is over. I hope we can be friends then.”

Mama says, “Elaine, relax and celebrate today; I sit with you not whoever is in such a rush. You want a rush, I put you back in the kitchen. You want a future you be with Bridgette and enjoy Elaine and learn.”

Bridgette pours our wine and lifts a glass, “Salute Mama, I couldn’t have said it better.” Bridgette’s stare lets me know I better relax. The rest of the time there goes well. I met a few other customers and get into conversations as though I am really Elaine. If I didn’t know better I would have thought I really cared about the others.

When we get back to Bridgette’s and my apartments, I'm sure if I impressed Bridgette. I know I need to impress her so I can go back to being me and still have a job. I see the time as Elaine, as one of learning how to maneuver in today’s business world and impress the women I need to work with. I do know and accept that my attitude at home needs to change drastically. I love Julie and want to keep our marriage good. I do hope that the baby will be a boy so I have someone to relate to and be normal with.

The morning comes early but I’m up; I have trouble deciding which outfit to wear and what makeup to use. When Bridgette checks to see what is taking me so long; she is amused that I have already dressed and started on my makeup three times. She likes the outfit I have on for work and suggests makeup more appropriate for daytime and work. I travel to work on my own; Jerry providing the taxi service.

Lynn seems happy when I ask permission to meet with Stacy Drummond. Stacy is ready for me and she is happy to see my ideas complement what she's doing. I am impressed that the client is being open to adjustments to make the project work. Stacy is meeting with the client this afternoon and invites me to go along. The only requirements are for me to go as Elaine and to do a lot of listening and observing and no talking.

Trina, Sophia, and Mr. Talbot are ready to approve the project and implement the whole program. One glitch is holding them back from signing. It is a sentence in the contract about who from our corporation would have oversight and be our company’s representative to them. Since the client and the project were initiated by me Dan, this part of the contract had not been correctly updated.

“Stacy, may I talk with you,” I ask?

Stacy said, “If it would help with what we are doing speak up; if not please wait until we’re back at our offices.”

“Well then I would like to ask; if Stacy Drummond is named as our company’s project manager and a representative would that make this more acceptable? We are sorry, but it was an oversight that part of the contract has not updated.” It is to their relief and my shock that I had left such a negative impression.

“Sophia had brought that oversight to our attention,” said Mr. Talbot. “If any of the ideas in this are his we are grateful. But it would adversely affect the implementing of the project if he were part of its implementation.”

I spoke again, “Our Company has become aware of peoples problems in working with him. He is undergoing an intensive retaining program. They hope that he can be open to the dramatic change that is needed if he is to stay employed with us.”

Stacy said, “I can verify that is true and a major reason why Elaine is helping me at this time.”

Sophie spoke up, “I know people can change, but I doubt that Dan Woods will be able to comprehend how difficult he has been to work with.”

Stacy turns to me, “Elaine, I hope you make note of that. We should pass that information to Vice President Marilyn Watts.”

From behind us comes Marilyn’s voice, “You will not need to relay that information, I heard it myself. So please help me if you would Sophia. You find this project would be beneficial to your corporation but that Dan’s participation would be enough to negate an agreement.”

“Ms. Watts, I’m sorry to say but yes. We tried to implement part of his plan but he was both rigid and demanding. He came across too much of our staff as demeaning them. I am not sure what your retraining of him would entail, but we’d rather he not be back as a representative to us, even if you think the retraining was successful.”

“That Elaine you can write down and make note of.” Marilyn turns to our clients, “I appreciate your help in understanding his impact upon others. We are not sure of his retraining either, but we will not have a position for him unless he makes a dramatic turnaround.”

“…I will write in Stacy Drummond’s name and initial it to make her appointment to be legal and binding on our part. Is there anything else we can do to facilitate things today?”

Sophia Rhinehart turns to Mr. Talbot and then says, “We would like Elaine Hall to be named as her associate with this project. She seems to be well versed with the project and being an associate of yours Ms. Watts, should keep us from falling off of your division’s radar in the future.”

Marilyn Watts turns to me, “Ms. Hall are you willing to take on the responsibility of Stacy’s associate on this project? I believe it would go a long way showing your value to our company.” Marilyn steps back to me and whispers, “I know I am placing you in a difficult position, but if successful it saves you a job. Being unsuccessful or declining this opportunity would limit where we can use you, It could even lead to your dismissal if other things close off as well.”

As Dan, I’ve just been shot full of buckshot, while as Elaine I’ve not only been given a stay of execution but been highly praised and rewarded. It may mean that I need to stay as Elaine longer, but it will give me the needed time to show my worth or find another job. The job market is dismal. I give a slight smile and simply say, “I would be honored.

The contract is signed and while the contract is a multi-million dollar deal in itself; it will mean much more over time. It should secure them as a customer at a higher premium for five to ten years.

Riding back to our corporate office with Stacy and Ms. Watts, I am congratulated by both. Stacy qualifies her praise, “You have secured our walking through the door, but I will personally burn all your bridges to the past and future if the old you ever shows up.”

I look to Ms. Watts, hoping Stacy will be reprimanded for quickly becoming cynical. Ms. Watts says, “I think today is a great day to celebrate. But yes, the damage that you have left in your path puts you on a short lease for acting up in the future. That said, I think we should celebrate tonight and the treat will be on me at Grangers Dinner Club. Please dress well and I will send cars to pick each of you up, say around 7:30 this evening.”

To be continued…