“Well, since you're here, let's get a look at you” I smiled and playfully shook the skin around Kesey's neck. He cocked his head and leaned into my hands and his stubby tail began to wag.

Colin regarded me while I gave Kesey the once over.

“He's usually extremely shy, I'd even say ...skittish... around strangers. I've never seen him take to anyone the way he's taken to you....”

I smiled and regarded him for a moment. “What about you?”

He shrugged sheepishly.

I resumed my examination. The more I observed, the more disturbed I became.
“It seems your instincts were right” I said to Colin without looking up. I didn't need to.
“It seems Kesey is in fact male.” I sensed his puzzlement. “...or at least was...”

“Ohmigod. Was he castrated?”

“Nothing so humane. It appears to be a rather severe wound. One of many. I can't imagine how he survived.”

I looked up at Colin. “Could this dog have been bred to fight?”

He shrugged. “The guy who had him was a real dirtbag. And Keysey seemed really desperate to get away from him. I guess it's possible.”

“More than possible. I think it would explain a lot. This poor, fierce-looking, but shy gentle creature has been severely traumitized. Looking at these scars, I can't imagine what he's been through. I'm amazed that he can still trust anyone.”

“Well, now that you mention it, he seems apprehensive of everybody.”

“Not you.” I smiled. And I saw Kesey regard Colin. I felt he knew what we were saying and signaled his agreement.

Colin blushed again. “Not just me. He seems to really have taken to you. I've never seen him act this way.”

I turned my smile from one to the other. “I'm no expert, but I can tell how you feel about each other. You're good for each other. You found each other. And it's just what you each needed.

Colin smiled bashfully, and Kesey just regarded me with what struck me as calm acceptance. I looked at the two of them and smiled. “Maybe I should just call you two Butch & Sundance” I laughed. I had learned to trust my feelings, and I had no doubt in my mind that these two were together for life.

"Then I probably should have stuck to calling him Cassidy" Colin laughed.

While I knew these two were definitely a pair, I had not forseen how I could get caught up in their orbit as well. Colin was always coming by asking me to look at Kesey for something or another, and while occasionally there were troubling things.... like a habit he picked up of biting himself, I picked up pretty quickly that it wasn't medical... Kesey was a sweetheart, but a troubled soul – or if someone got offended that I'd imply that an animal had a soul, I would refer to his 'troubled spirit'... His biting phase reminded me of some troubled girls I knew who were 'cutters'. I worked with Colin and Kesey, although I think much of it appeared like play to Kesey. I suggested ways Colin could quell Kesey's anxieties and make him feel safe, loved and protected.... and we managed to get the self-biting stopped. Colin was amazed at how well it worked and kiddingly asked if I could come on the road with him and use my techniques to chill sketchy club owners and promoters.

Colin was coming around often and I think an easy friendship was growing. So much so, that he felt little hesitation asking the enormous favor of requesting that I mind Kesey while he left for a few weeks on the road.

Since we had pretty much figured out that it was the upheavel of life on the road that brought on most of Kesey's stress attacks, I realized that I had unwittingly set myself up for being his 'sitter', since other than Colin, I seemed to be the only other one he ever relaxed around. Colin started kiddingly referring to me as 'Auntie Olive' when he'd talk with Kesey, and very quickly the humor evaporated and I simply was 'aunt Olive'. It made me smile inside every time he said it.

Kesey was a real sweetheart and soon my housemates were laughingly referring to him as my 'nephew'... I kind of got the feeling that he was aware of this and seemed to like it. He was the perfect houseguest, well mannered and easygoing. I was not the only one to observe that he was much better behaved than many of my human housemates.

When Colin was on the road and Kesey stayed with 'Aunt Olive' he would lay across the bed at my feet.... unless he was pining for Colin, when he'd plop his head across my chest below the ribcage, and seemed to find comfort in my slow rhythmic breathing. It also made it easy for me to scratch him behind the ear, which he seemed to really love.

When Colin was off the road, busking around town, I didn't see that much less of Kesey. He and Colin were always around, asking if I wanted to go to the park and toss a frisbee, or go to the beach or something. I tried, as tactfully as I could, to explain to Colin that those of us in the boring old non-artistic world had these things called 'working hours' where people were expected to stay in a place for a fixed time. I teasingly suggested that he should find a rich heiress girlfriend like Patty Hearst who could hang out with him in the middle of the day. His face fell. He just looked at me and said. “I'm happy like this.”

I felt something shift, but needed to reflect more on what just happened.

So, life went on that way for a while. Kesey staying with me while Colin was on the road, and with Colin when he was in town. Colin laughingly called it our 'custody arrangement'.

There was a small break from the routine when Colin's van broke a tie-rod and he asked if he could crash with us for a few days. Until then, it had never occurred to me that Colin had been living in his van.

While this really troubled me once I realized it, I bit my tongue. I felt I needed to have something constructive to say. In so many ways he was just a big, charming child. I looked at my friends and busmates and realized that we all were, in our own way. But there was something special about Colin that I couldn't put my finger on. Starving artist was bad enough. Vagabond minstrel was way beyond. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I knew to my core, that I had to help this 'lost boy' put down some roots.

Meanwhile, the other pieces of my life were avalanching merrily along as well. And two areas were on a collision course.

Dr O'Brien took me aside during one of my 'lab rabbit' visits. She said there was good news and '...other news'.

I thought her good news was that they were done with their research and the other news was that I would be free to go back to my life. Yet I already had figured out by paying much more attention to their medical jargon than they suspected I'd picked up, that without the continuous hormone routine, I'd quickly experience 'early onset menopause'. That thought shook me into a near panic. And that brought Dr Kendrick - who I secretly nicknamed 'doctor quick-prick' - to rapidly jab me with a sedative.

While I scowled at him for his now notorious needle reflex, the shot did help me calm down long enough for them to explain that my results were so intriguing that Drs Kendrick and Lantigua had managed to get a major research grant to study me, and Dr O'Brien as their research partner could parlay her role in the research into major academic currency toward her advanced degree.

“OK. I presume that is the good news.” I said with obvious relief. “What's the …. 'other' news?”

Dr O'Brien made a face while her two male colleagues just looked at her. They were making her do whatever dirty-work was coming.

“Well.... the grant and research involve a LOT of bureaucracy.”

I nodded. That came as no surprise.

“...a LOT... of paperwork....” she locked her eyes to mine.

I nodded again. “I guess that's to be expected....” I returned her gaze. Her face was making this increasingly pleading expression. I knew she was urging me to 'get something' but I was still lost. I saw her eyes dart to her two older colleagues, then bore back into mine.

“A LOT of ….documentation....”

“Oh.”

I immediately saw in her eyes that she knew I got it. And I immediately knew how much of my story she hadn't shared with her team.

OK. Time to talk all around the thing none of us wanted to talk about directly. This could be tricky.

“...you mean like social security numbers and stuff like that....” I said meekly to her.

“Yes. ….like that...” she replied solemnly.

I looked up at her two colleagues and let out a weak smile. “I don't ...um... actually have one...”

They just glared back at me.

“How the hell can you not have one?” Doctor Kendrick shouted... a little louder and more emotionally than I think he even intended.

I shrugged.

“I thought you waitressed?” Dr Lantigua asked.

I shrugged again. “Sometimes it's easier to just do the work and take the cash.” I quietly replied.

“So our research subject is working under the table...” Dr Kendrick gave me that germ under the microscope glare. Then he really stared at me. “Oh, Christ. Are you even an American?”

THAT gave me an idea. I looked up at him with indignation burning in my eyes and declared resolutely “....a hell of a lot more American than YOU... my mom was still living on the reservation when she found out she was going to have me.” And I bored my eyes into him ...daring him to say something glib or condescending. He glared back. I could see his mind going through every possible obnoxious reply. And I saw him concede to himself that he had no snappy comeback. He swallowed hard and lowered his eyes.

“Actually, that does explain a lot of what we're seeing in our test results” Dr O'Brien said enthusiasticly to Dr Lantigua. I got the distinct impression their badly behaved colleague was being ignored and given a 'time out'. I suppressed my smile.

I was not sure if Doctor O'Brien was just trying to distract them, but it worked. Doctor Lantigua excitedly talked about getting census studies and other data on indigenous populations and the conversation was barreling along in another direction.

“You're through for the day Olive” Dr O'Brien smiled while Doctor Lantigua hurried to the teletype in the corner and started requesting census data.

Meanwhile, I noticed, Doctor Kendrick just sulked at his desk.

“Give me a call when you can and we'll get together to sort out all the paperwork.” she winked.

“Thanks!” I smiled and waved airily as I gathered my things. Hoping no one sensed how truly rattled I actually was.

The one smile I didn't have to fake was for Doctor Kendrick. 'So long, doctor quick-prick' I thought as I breezed past him and out the door.