On the Way from Camelot...



 On the Way from Camelot... 


by Andrea Lena DiMaggio


Somewhere between Camelot and Englewood Cliffs…..

Receptionist: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Dysphoria must answer me these questions three, ere the other side she see.

Girl: Ask me the questions, oh keeper of the Salon appointments. I am not afraid.

Receptionist: What... is your name?

Girl: My name is Tiffany….of Hoboken.

Receptionist: What... is your quest?

Tiffany: To seek the Holy Grail….of Transgender

Receptionist: What... is your favourite colour?

Girl: Mauve.

Receptionist: Go on. Off you go.

Tiffany: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.  

Robin: That's easy.

Receptionist: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Dysphoria must answer me these questions three, ere the other side she see.

Robin: Ask me the questions…. (looks at name tag) Cindy. I'm not afraid.

Cindy the Receptionist: What... is your name?

Robin: Robin of Bayonne.

Cindy the Receptionist: What... is your quest?

Robin: To seek the Holy Grail….of Transgender

Cindy the Receptionist: What... was your last estrogen level?
[pause]

Robin: I don't know that.

[she’s thrown out of the salon]

Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.  

Cindy the Receptionist: Stop. What... is your name?

Kyra: Kyra of Camden.

Cindy the Receptionist: What... is your quest?

Kyra: I seek the Grail.

Cindy the Receptionist: What... is your favourite colour?

Kyra: Periwinkle. No, yel...

[she is also thrown out of the salon]

Kyra: auuuuuuuugh.  

Cindy the Receptionist: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?

Nikki: It is Nicole of Perth Amboy.

Cindy the Receptionist: What... is your quest?

Nikki: To seek the Holy Grail of Transgender

Cindy the Receptionist: What... is the normal time frame for a clinical endorsement for a real – life test?

Nikki: What do you mean? Canadian or the United States

Cindy the Receptionist: Huh? I... I don't know that.

[she is thrown out]

Cindy the Receptionist: Auuuuuuuugh.

Nicole’s BFF Andi: How do know so much about that?

Nicole: Well, you have to know these things when you're transgender. If only things were this easy in real life?
  

With thanks to Angela Rasch for the inspiration....


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