Except for our university, no one had heard of the Beta Chi Nu House. We didn’t even use the Greek letters unless it was to our advantage. It started in the in the late 50s with blue collar non-coms going to college under the GI Bill. Those guys had served in WWII or during the Korean (Conflict) War. BCN attached a women’s house in the late 60s thus we’re no longer thought as a fraternity. We weren’t finesse and showy like the Greek fraternities and sororities, though to their displeasure we had secured property on Fraternity-Sorority Row. The grunts of wars, conflicts and diminishing of unions have continued to supply students who identify with us.
Word is, it started with eight GIs, a plumber and electrician. The city and university had tried to permit them to death, but after they secured the property they just built and exceeded all the codes. The property was available because it had been deemed unusable. A Sea-Bee and military engineering proved them wrong. What irked the neighbors, especially the sorority directly to the East was the perceived lack of social skills. They, the original members, really did have them; it was just the inopportune times they appeared not too. Come the mid-70s, the house started to allow a select group of the rich in. The third generation of the Pills… family have a social conscience and their money was good.
Come the early 70s, our sorority became comfortable and then even good neighbors with the Beta Chi Nu House. It is just they had times: they called them little burps, we usually call them belches. Some of their guys would invade and act out old fraternity pranks. Though they didn’t believe it, there was a scoundrel or two in their house. A house of some thirty guys and twenty women doesn’t rate a lot of scrutiny at a university of our size. Officially they’re a manageable nuisance, unofficially they are usually good neighbors.
It is two weekends before finals and spring fever has hit full force. Beta Chi Nu is in their element and liked by all the houses along the row; they’re hosting a big pre-books and exams party. It’s Sunday evening, Coleen Robbins and four other sorority girls just got back from our national meeting, a busy four days in NYC. Instead of celebrating they’re crashing early mid-day.
We guess this was not expected by some Blue Collar Non-com pranksters. Imal Jones, Jay Jackson and Greg Johns had entered thru a door on the porch landing on the third floor; two guys were on a second floor landing to receive what was being taken, mostly delicates to be rudely displayed around campus. While others were on the ground with a souped-up four wheeler with wagon and covering. They were two thirds through their haul when Imal and Greg each discovered a room with someone unexpectedly sleeping. Besides closing doors a bit too hard they crashed into each other entering their exit room.
Coleen was the first to wake and yell for the others to wake up. All of 5’ 6”, she was no shrinking violet and went on the attack. Imal was big enough that he was having trouble negotiating the regress window. She jumped on him and had him around the shoulders and neck and hung on for life like a bronco rider. Greg was trying to pull her off when Jaci and Amber tackled him. Their belts were quickly off and wrapped around the legs of Imal and Greg. Jay entered the room only to be surprised front and back by the sorority girls and gave up without resistance.
What also worried the guys was the security alarm that went off when they opened the window. Colleen climbed off of Imal and told someone, “Quickly call Bridgette, she has some songs to write. …Just call her and get her and some of the others back here before the police come.”
Coleen confronts the guys, “Who were the others out on the deck and down on the ground. I have an idea to keep you out of jail. Cooperate if you want to keep your scholarships and going to this university. Hurry you need to cooperate. Oh, first can any of you sing?”
Imal says, “To stay out of jail and on scholarship we can all sing!” He mumbles, “Damn, I even talked my way into being on the inside.”
Amber giggles with delight in telling him and the others, “Take heart, Coleen has the best imagination for getting even. Just hope you don’t wished the police got you first.”
Coleen tells the other girls, “Help them to strip down and ready to participate in this summer’s musical. Someone get some depilatory cream and ready the showers.”
Greg says, “What’s with the showers with the police soon to be here.”
Coleen laughs, “There’s another reason that the law delays in entering some neighborhoods. Here it gives us rich girls and boys the time to get our act together. In this case it is to your advantage as well. Some of us just got back from a long weekend conference with our national sorority and one of the topics was inclusivity. It will be to each of our benefits to work together. We don’t like publicity we get from your antics.”
Amber told the guys, “Turn your backs to us, we’re not as excited in seeing your gifts to women as much as you might think.”
With belts around their ankles, turning was not an easy task. The women at Coleen’s request started to apply the depilatory cream to most areas of the guys’ bodies, save their heads and genital area. Needless to say the guys were more than a little embarrassed. It showed with more than blushing faces.
Coleen said, “I know Teresa our housekeeper is off today but she might be in her apartment. Someone please knock and ask if she has an old dress or clothing that Imal might be able to wear, including a panty and bra, we can pay her handsomely. She is the only one who might have something his size.”
Jaci said, “I don’t think that will work as she is noticeably shorter than Imal.”
“That would be more Imal’s problem than Teresa’s. It will be good for the show and he needs to be convincing when the police show up.” It was just then that the men were allowed into the showers to rinse off the cream and their unwanted hair. Seemingly from their response only Jay previously knew what was to happen. “How do you guys like the new you?”
Amber says, “Wash your hands real well and only then use the shampoo twice as you shower and then the conditioner and allow the conditioner to stay on three minutes or a little more.”
Word comes that the police have arrived and so Coleen goes down to meet them and share the story of what is happening. It also gave those upstairs extra time to get ready. Coleen is up-front, “A few guys from Beta Chi Nu House have invaded our house and taken some things, causing a problem. If possible, instead of formally making charges we’d prefer Officers Tracy and Peg’s help in working out a mutual agreement. As well as get a few more of them to accept their responsibility for participating in the crime.”
Officers Peg and Tracey were open to the possibility, though no one would promise charges would not be filed, with or without the sorority house’s permission. The other officers left for now. Sargent Tracy heading up the investigation asked to see the crime scenes. They started with showing pieces of clothing in the back, outside on the ground. Tracy and Peg soon found pieces of jewelry that the girls had not seen. Looking up other clothing and jewelry was seen on steps and railing.
Tracey was surprised when they asked if they recognized or knew any of the students who perpetuated the crime. Coleen said, “Yes, hopefully they are dressed and waiting for you up on the third floor. Can I tell you an idea I have before we present them too you?
Officer Peg said, “Do we want to hear this, we can’t be part of avoiding justice?”
Coleen said, “If you decide arrests and formal prosecution are necessary, we will not interfere. We may have convinced the guys to be as you find them, but we did not force them to do anything. Well, we did apprehend them and kept them here until you came.”
“Our idea is to get them to help in the return of stolen property, pay for damages and agree to cross dress and take part in a summer musical we are organizing as we go.” The officers were amused with Coleen’s mischievous look as they walked up to the third floor. Upon getting there Coleen asked, “If the three are decent, have them come out to meet the Officers.”
Coleen turned to Amber who said, “Mrs. Adrienne Crothers said she’d try to be here in fifteen to thirty minutes.”
Sargent Tracey asked, “Would that be Judge Crothers?”
Coleen said, “We wanted to make sure any agreement that was reached would be legal as well as binding.” With that said Greg, Imal and Jay walked out to meet the officers. Both officers’ had trouble keeping straight faces as the men stepped out in women’s attire.
Jaci was correct Teresa’s old dress was short on Imal; it reached above his knees but it did fit well enough to be closed all the way around. All three were confused, Greg spoke up, “You said, we’d be able to do this without prosecution or being in trouble with university officials?”
Coleen was abrupt, “You’ve taken the first steps by agreeing to participate with the musical, yes?” She continued once he was quiet, “We want all the things taken from the house returned. The officers already found that jewelry was taken. From two pieces they found, I saw they weren’t cheap cosmetic jewelry items. I am suspecting one scoundrel, but you need to name him or them to make sure we get our stuff back and some embarrassing lessons are learned.”
Sargent Tracy Andrews says, “Trespassing and stealing would make this a class felony. Something you might want to avoid. If we feel there is a crime and it is not quickly rectified; we will move contrary to the sorority’s wishes and charge you with at least two crimes and investigate until everything and everyone is brought to justice. Do you understand?”
Greg speaks up, “I’m not comfortable ratting on anyone. Don’t you need to read us our rights?”
Tracy asked, “You want us to arrest and charge you with crimes? Once that starts, your rights will be read and you will be going to jail. You might want to consider cooperating with the people in the sorority. If I take it you are Greg, Imal and Jay. I will suggest that Imal goes with Officer Peg and Jaci. I will take Greg and Colleen and Jay can be seated with Amber, Bridgette and the others. If any of you seek to flee the premise until I say your free to go or if you to cause any more trouble, I will forcefully detain you and charge you with resisting arrest, which would complicate everything.”
Tracy says, “Greg, I need to record this, more as protection that I am not abusing you, your rights or overstepping my ethics as an officer. I need you to tell me your name, whether or not you are here illegally? How you come to be dressed and appear presently? Did these women forcefully dress you as you are or did you freely choose to comply with suggestions made to you?
“I’m Greg Johns and I reside at the Beta Chi Nu House and as a prank I entered the sorority house to take some of their belongings. We expected the house was empty and their members were at our party or elsewhere. When I entered Coleen’s room I discovered she was asleep there and immediately sought to leave the premises. None of us wanted to dress in these clothes, but neither did they force us to put them on. They said cooperating we could reach an agreement that avoided legal prosecution or problems with university officials. Their stuff is being lowered into our house through an old coal chute into a store room. Robby Masters was on the ground and he’s the one handling the merchandise. No jewelry or valuables other than clothing and posters were to be taken.
The three had been interviewed; Stan Miller and Nick Schmidt were named as the men on the landing, Robbie Hartfield was named by everyone as well as Joel Porter.
Judge Adrienne Crothers had arrived and heard most of Greg’s confession. She suggested, “Officer Tracy, if Officers Nancy Talbot or Ed Lamb are on duty, you might call in and request them to go to Beta, Chi Nu and detain those who are named and check that room. If not with the house’s blessing then everything is to be sealed until I formally approve a search warrant. Those men should be brought over here but meet us on the main floor. They will find it in their interest to reach an agreement.
Robbie Hartfield will also need to agree to a search of his room and other areas of the house he is known to frequent. I believe things of value and not owned by him can be taken from his room and elsewhere to qualify charges being brought against him. We will reach a plea agreement he will not like, but that will still be in his best interest.”
Imal, Jay and Greg, I will accept your formal agreement to participate with Amber, Coleen and Jaci in an independent study, ‘The Diversity of Lifestyles in the 21st Century’ this summer through the university. You will formally need to be registered for it, before final exams begin and the semester ends. I will also accept your agreement with the other men involved from your house to practice and participate in the sorority house’s summer musical this coming August. I understand the present title is, ‘Ken in a Barbie World’.”
She asks, “Coleen are you sure this will not be seen in conflict with the toy people making those dolls?
Coleen says, “Judge Crothers, this is Bridgette Anne Handler, her family is connected with the corporation and she is sure we can reach an agreement.”
Bridgette says hi to Judge Crothers and addresses the men, “We’ve already sung through twice one song roughly composed.” She turns to the three men, “I want you to sing for her Honor Ms. Crothers so she knows you’re not being forced but you're singing on you own volition.” She begins to play, “One two, three…”
They begin to sing, “It’s no fun living in a drab world, we’d rather carry fashion bags and be cosmetic girls… …Ken fore goes the macho world, prefers to join the Barbie girls.”
Judge Crothers says thanks to Coleen and the other house members, expressing sympathy for their problems. “I do approve your creative approach to hold these men accountable without damaging their future education and careers. This agreement allows for formal legal action if their cooperation and the return of property is not forth coming.”
“Imal, Greg and Jay, it is my understanding that the loss of scholarships would be very detrimental to your continuing as students here. What would criminal charges, or worse with convictions mean for your education and careers?” She paused, “I need to ask if each of you men are able to commit $500 each to your new wardrobes? Your participation in the study as well as the musical should at least be in part borne by each of you.” Each rattles off a new computer, car repairs or a TV that it will cost them.
Jay speaks up, “I’m a semester away from graduating in December. There is no way I can afford the costs or time of starting over again somewhere else! We three are all in agreement, the guys down stairs probably could use Colleen’s persuasion to agree. If she doesn’t persuade them, I most certainly will!”
Judge Crothers says, “I will leave you three ladies to these house members here to begin your special studies or continue your practicing. I will go downstairs to meet with your colleagues and to see if the House can reach an agreement with them or hand them over to these two officers. My secretary will meet with Coleen and others. We should have the agreement written up by Tuesday noon or no later than 4:00 p.m. that day for you three to sign. Good day.”
Kris, another member of the house, asks, “Coleen please stay behind just for a moment these three need to ask a question before we arrange for their beautification this week.”
Everyone waits for the Officers and Judge to leave, Amber already knows the situation so she goes downstairs with the others.
“Now that they’re gone, what do you three need to ask,” Coleen questions?
Each man reaches into their purse and pulls out a disk and shows it. Jay says, “She set two pills out for each of us and told us,” pointing to Kris, “that we shouldn’t take the pills. But then she said, after we take them the agreement can move on. She said it should be our plan take two pills every day or every other day until they’re gone. I told the guys to do it. Does this mean were supposed to do it?”
Coleen has trouble containing herself, but she regains her composure. “It’s what you agreed to and I guess it could help your experience. You technically should get your own prescriptions.”
Greg speaks up, “You can’t expect or make us do that.”
Coleen is on her way out of the room, “It was your decision and agreement. Judge Crothers is downstairs with the two officers, now is the time to decide you’re not living with your agreement. I’ll let you decide.” Kris thanks them for presenting their thoughts. Coleen again says, “Let us know if they change their decision. They have ten minutes while Ms. Crothers is downstairs.” Coleen leaves to go to the others.
Imal asks, “Is Judge Crothers from this sorority?”
Jaci says, “No, she is however a member of a sorority. Before you change out of your clothes, which you need not return and do need to keep. We need to do a few more things. The first being each having your ears pierced.”
Imal says, “I’ll warn you girls now. I hate needles and I better be seated where I won’t fall on one of you.”
Kris asks Jaci, “Teri, from ‘Good Ole Girls Salon and Spa’ is on the phone and wants to speak to you. What for?”
Jaci says, “We need each of these three to give half a day to be pampered with a facial, time in the spa and massage. I’m even flipping the costs, but it has to be done one of the next three days.”
Jay says, “I already had one of her massages after I screwed up my back. I won’t mind another one.” Jay and Imal made appointments for tomorrow, Monday afternoon.
Greg said, “If I need to be able to sign something Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday morning will work out, since I don’t have a class until two p.m.”
“Greg, Coleen text me. If you only have the one class Wednesday, she’d like to meet you here at 4:00 if possible,” Jaci. “She said, Judge Crothers says each of you should have at least one outfit by Friday to confirm the agreement.”
Jay says, “Or else what?”
Jaci responds, “There’s no ‘or else’, she just expects you to comply.”
Jay mutters, “I hate that.” Imal agrees, “Me too, but I’d rather get started instead of stewing about it.”
Greg and Jaci speak at the same time, both saying, “That’s probably a good way, just do it!” Greg looks at Jaci, not believing her and he said the same thing.
Jaci’s marked Greg’s ears and holding an ice cube on his right ear. Poke, “ouch”, a black onyx stud is in. “These are a new pair of my earrings. Don’t wear them in front of my mother.” She checks the mark on his left ear, pokes and he’s done. “Make sure you turn them twice yet tonight and numerous times tomorrow and use alcohol and cotton balls to keep away any infection while they heal.” Each of you should come over tomorrow and the next day so we can get to know you and every one can get passed any animosity between us.”
Coleen was back upstairs, sharing the news that four guys reached a similar agreement to participating in the musical. She did not know for sure, as the Judge and Officers would not say anything. Their smiles regarding Robbie indicated more stolen items were found in his possession. The understanding was Robbie’s agreement or plea deal would be in front of Judge Crothers officially the next day in court.
The guys got their first makeup lessons and a few eyebrow hairs pulled with tweezers before they left by 8:00 p.m.
Coleen confronted Greg, “Your coming to my room to talk things over and confirm my thought you don’t like me for some reason. What is it?”
Greg looked at Jaci before answering, “I thought you were a spoiled, pretty and delicate rich girl. I apologize. Your jumping on Imal and riding him like a bronco, showed me I was wrong. Your imagination and the way you handled us today, was not only humbling, but it won my respect though I’m sure my respect isn’t worth anything.”
Unashamedly he says, “I thought anyone with such an old fashion name must be a Mama’s girl.”
Coleen begins to giggle, “You sound sincere, though you’re right, I doubt your sincerity very much. You might as well know Coleen was my Great-Grandmother’s name. She was a feminist in the early 1900s and fought for temperance. But not for the reasons you might think. Drinking men often have a way of getting abusive and physical against women. Back then the law protected women worse than today. My Mom says, “When prohibition ended drinking was not frowned against in their house only abusive behavior whatever it was. But even the men of the family wouldn’t put up with abusing women.
“Great Grandma told my mother, one of her cousin-in-laws got abusive, the police didn’t do much. Her cousin-in-law was killed. The men of the family were accused of killing him, but nothing was proven. I’ll just say it wasn’t the men. I couldn’t do that, I think, but then I wasn’t there.”
“Today was kind of like, there’s usually another way. You might get embarrassed or given grief. I don’t really care, but I’m kind of happy you agreed to do it our way. You might think it is a bit overkill; I hope you see it differently in three months.”
“Like it or not, you’re my pet project to become the prettiest of the Barbies.”
Greg asks, “Why me?”
She says, “You come across to me as the smuggest, and from the old blue collar tradition. I doubt if you tell your mother that you love her?”
He says, “My Mom knows I love her, everyone in my family respects her for all she does.”
“Don’t be surprised if you Mom laughs out loud at you if she finds out about this. Respect for all she does is not a statement of love. You don’t get that do you?”
Greg smirks, “In two weeks I send her a Mother’s day card and underline the words of love twice. My sister does that. Will that please you?”
Coleen says, “Are you that dense or are you teasing me?”
Greg doesn’t get it, and he’s now frustrated, “I’ve been in this skirt and blouse for hours wearing a panty and bra. I don’t see me being in the position to tease anyone.”
Coleen’s a bit heated by now. “Your outfit was Jaci’s.” He looks to Jaci and she confirms the statement. “You can wear it back to your house,but I want you out of here now. Get out, you can have your clothes, but you can’t change here.”
Pantyhose coming off of hairless legs gives a wonderful sensation Greg did not expect. He knew what they had done was wrong. He didn’t understand Coleen or why she was upset with him. But he did like her, which he hadn’t before. The blouse he knew how to hang, the panties and bra were different. He folded them up the best he could and put them with his underwear. He wasn’t sure about the skirt, but put it went over a hanger he generally puts his slacks on.
Greg was too wound up to study or call it a night. He went downstairs to the common area and called his friend Deb down to talk. Deb said, “I’d rather not get in a public discussion with the whole house. If you want to talk come up to my room.”
Deb welcomed him, and he sat down to talk. “Sounds like you guys got yourselves in quite a situation. It should be an unusual summer vacation for you. I gather those pretty earrings confirm what I’m hearing about your punishment. I like you, but if you or the sorority girls need any help, I’m willing to help either or both.”
“You don’t really think this is good for me do you?” Greg has been surprised by Deb before. It’s one of the reasons he likes her, she can tell him things he generally won’t accept from others. She does like baseball and some other things he likes. She’s the sister he did not get close to. He’d like her to be a girlfriend, but it has never gotten there in two years.
Before leaving her room he finally works up the nerve to ask, “Coleen Robbins wants me to meet her over their House. I think she wants to take me shopping for an outfit Wednesday. I was wondering if you might be willing to go with me. I know it would be a little embarrassing but I think it would help me.
Deb breaks out giggling and it takes a few minutes to stop and attracts other girls on the floor. With Cate, Jaz and Tami, close friends of Deb’s, Deb calms down. “Oh yes, I’d be willing to go Wednesday with you and Coleen. How did you get paired with her, I thought you didn’t like her?”
“I hadn’t, I was actually going to raid her room, but she was in there sleeping. She somehow sees me as her project,” he says.
Deb and the other girls giggle in agreement. “Well, if that is the case she has her hands full. Knowing her I think she’ll enjoy it that way. I suspect it will take you a while to figure her out.”
It was now close to eleven and the women of the floor don’t appreciate men being around….
To be continued…
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