That Boy

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“Clara!” My teacher Mr. Johnson yelled. He startled me. I was daydreaming. Wondering when the bell would ring so I could go home.

“Yes Mr. Johnson?” I perked up.

“What did I just say in class just now?”

I didn’t know. I wish I did. I usually was the good girl in class. Today I was a little distracted. My mind was on something else. During lunch today, I would look over at the boys. No I didn't have a crush on them, I wanted to be them. I want to be a boy.

Why do I want to be a boy you ask? because boys are cool. They are strong and can do more things that most girls at our school can do. I hated gymnastics. That’s what the girls have to do in gym class because we were not boys. Yeah kind of sexist. So that’s why I am daydreaming. I got to find some way to be the boy I feel inside.

“Um, I don’t remember. Sorry Mr. Johnson.”

"Next time pay better attention, Sweetie.” Sweetie? Did he just call me sweetie? I hate being called that.my dad calls me that all the time. It makes me sick thinking of it. Mr. Johnson says that to all the girls in class. No he's not a pervert, but it's just a way to make them feel good inside. I for one don't like it.

Here's another thing; Have you ever been stared at by boys wherever you go? Or have you ever been pinched on the butt? It’s not fun. I never dresses. Nope, dresses are not my thing. I am always dressed as a tomboy. Never a dress or a skirt. Always pants.

“Yes sir. I promise.” I say very quietly.” I can feel tears coming. I hate these emotions. I hate it that I am always crying. The boys in my school never cry. Unless they get hurt really bad, but even then they don’t like showing it. I’m the same way, but it’s hard to not show it. Why tears start flowing now, in the class. Some of the girls see that and feel sorrow for me. Mr. Johnson continued class and then the bell rang. I got all my things together and was just about to leave when Mr. Johnson stopped me.

“Clara, can I speak to you for a minute?” I walked over to him

“Yes, Mr. Johnson.” "I noticed you were distracted in class today. That’s not normally how you are. Is anything wrong? Something happening to you at home?”

“No sir,” I said then I started tearing up.

“What seems to be the problem?” He gave me a tissue.

“Well, Mr. Johnson,” I began. “I don't feel the same inside that normal girls feel."

"Normal girls? What do you mean, Sweetie?"

I ignored him calling me that. I looked up at him and sighed. "I want to be a boy.” “Oh Clara...”

“Your the first person I ever told this to.”

“Clara, you’re a beautiful girl. Why do you want to be a boy?”

“Because boys are stronger, and boys can pee standing up. Boys can do more things girls can’t do.”

“That’s not true Clara. Girls can do the same thing as boys can.”

“Not at this school they can’t. Girls have to go to gymnastics while boys can do sports like football and baseball. We can’t even do soccer here and that’s a sport I have seen girls play in other schools. I have seen girls play any sport, including football.”

“I understand this. Well Clara, I am glad you told me this, but I think it's best you tell your parents how you feel. I have a good feeling they will be supportive. I know for a fact that your dad will be accepting. I have known him for many years. By the way, if you had a boy’s name what would it be?”

“Cayden!” I yelled out. I had that name planned out for years.

“Well Cayden,” Mr. Johnson stood up from his chair. “I can help you with a few things. I will talk to the gym teacher and the principal and see if it is possible you can start playing sports like all the other boys. But don’t be upset if they don’t let you because you’re a girl. If you want, I can call your parents when you leave for home, so it will be easier to talk to them. Again, this is if it's okay with you.” I nod my head a little scared.

“You don’t have to be scared about this. It’s a normal thing to be transgender.”

“Thank you.” I cry. I grabbed another tissue and walked out of the room heading home.

~o~O~o~

The bus pulls up to my house. I notice my parents are home. Not something I wanted right away. I wanted time to explain to them. I walk up to the front door when my dad walks out. He looks at me for a little bit. I am a little nervous.

“Hey there pumpkin,” he finally speaks. This is new. He has never called me pumpkin before. It’s usually sweetheart. He sits down on the front steps and motions me to come over. Still a little nervous, I walk over and sit down next to him. We sit there in silence for a little bit. “So Cayden is the name you want to be now, am I right?” I smile at him.

“Yes dad.”

“Well son, if you want to be a man, you will have to do manly things. Are you up for the challenge?” I agreed. First things first, we have to get you out of those girl clothes and into some boy clothes. Before I got home I bought you a new pair of shoes as well. I hope you don’t mind sketchers."

“Can I get a haircut as well?” I said standing up.

“I was hoping you would say that. I thought of bringing you to my own barbershop. The man that does hair is really good. He can even give you a crew cut if you want.”

“Yes dad, I would.”

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Comments

crew cuts make me cry

When I was a child... I was diagnosed with psoriasis... The dr said get him some sun and he will be clear all winter.

So my dad took me and cut my hair so as to maximise the sun on my head. I cried for several hours.

I got sunburns so bad on my head and ears... I bled most of the summer because the burns would crack open.

I spent a lot of time crying... I do not have good memories of crew cuts. You are welcome to them.

Dayna.

I have long hair

No way would I ever have a crew cut. I'm a girl, or mtf. I would look horrible with one. Sorry for your experience in the past.

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Crew cuts are awesome but YMMV

I went from shoulder length to shortest possible buzzcut at 25 or 26. Haven't looked back - or combed myself - since.
Sun reflecting bonce For Teh Win :)