“Happy Valentine’s Day!” I say happily, clinking my wine glass with that of the sexy guy opposite me. I’m dressed in a short, slinky black dress, translucent seamed stockings and extra-high heels (much to my boyfriend’s chagrin), whilst the handsome man opposite me is wearing a smart suit with a bright white shirt and a plain grey tie.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Stuart says, sipping his wine with one hand whilst his other hand links his fingers with mine. “This is absolutely PERFECT.”

“Anywhere is perfect, as long as you’re there,” I giggle, leaning in to give Stuart a quick kiss. Our meal is long since finished and we’re both eager to get home- but the presence of a camera crew in the restaurant is kind-of putting a dent in our romantic plans, as is made obvious to me when Stuart stares sadly into my eyes with a ‘PLEASE can we go now?’ look on his face. Eventually, the camera crew pack up their equipment, and we waste no time in climbing into the back of the nearest taxi.

“So,” Stuart giggles. “Your place or mine?”

“Yours,” I laugh. “Charlotte’s having a ‘single ladies’ party at her house…”

“Afraid she’ll cramp your style?” Stuart teases.

“Afraid we’ll cramp HERS!” I giggle as Stuart gives his address to the cabbie.

“Never had a romantic evening recorded for millions to watch before,” Stuart laughs as he wraps a strong arm around my slender waist.

“Hardly MILLIONS,” I reply. “Hundreds of thousands at best.”

“Enough to get renewed for a THIRD season, though,” Stuart says, and I nod in reply. Interest in the second season of our reality show is increasing now that filming’s started, and all six of us are very active promoting it on our social media sites, so Stuart’s assumption that we might get over a million viewers isn’t that far-fetched. The vast majority of my time- and Stuart’s time, for that matter- has been taken up with holding auditions for Joshua’s new girl band. Becca and Adeola have finally managed to persuade Joshua that they need a band, so for the whole of last week, the two of us- along with Joshua and (when she’s not busy with her school) Krystie have been sat behind a table pretending to be Simon Cowell as hundreds of girls between the ages of 16 and 24 try to persuade us that they have what it takes to be the next Cheryl Fernandez-Versini. Some of the girls have even been transgendered, which from a personal standpoint, is pretty satisfying- Joshua’s said he wants to hire the three best women for the job regardless of which gender they were born, but I have high hopes that a ‘girl like me’ might end up in the final line-up.

With my professional life getting increasingly hectic- and the final year of my Open University Degree placing additional strain on my free time, to the point that I’ll probably have to delay graduating for a year- it’s a relief that my personal life has finally started to settle down. My relationship with Stuart has picked up from where it left off without even the slightest hitch- my ‘indiscretion’ last year has been all but completely forgiven by Stuart, though his family are still a little wary around me, especially Becca (which makes working life even MORE difficult). Stuart and I spend virtually every night together in bed, and we’ve become more and more adventurous sexually as well- with me now being ten months post-op, I’m more and more comfortable ‘exploring’ the new sensations my new body has to offer. Eight months from now, Stuart himself will be post-op… Though he’ll have to wait a lot longer before he can use his new ‘equipment’.

In contrast to Stuart’s parents, my parents couldn’t be happier that Stuart and I are back together. Whilst I still live with Charlotte full-time, my old room at my parents’ house is still furnished for me (and Stuart) to use whenever I want, and they’ve also said they’ve splashed out on an expensive gift for his 25th birthday next month. They clearly see him as their future son-in-law, even though we’re not even so much as engaged yet.

Stuart and the rest of the boys have grown closer to us girls too on a social level too, with Stuart even taking on party organising duties last week after Nikki (my ‘protégé’) passed her driving test, though his choice of ‘Top Gear’ as a theme was a bit predictable! Whenever we have out, it’s no longer a case of ‘girls in one room, boys in the other’, we now all mix together like one big, happy family (with the exception of girls nights out on Fridays and girls nights in on Saturdays, of course).

…There is, however, one exception to the ‘happy family’, and that’s Keith, and to a lesser extent, Charlotte. Between us, the Angels have taken a pact that Charlotte will NEVER be alone in her big home up to and including after her baby is born. It’s not so much that she’s on suicide watch, but what Stuart said at Christmas about Charlotte possibly being bipolar stuck in my mind, and for her sake- and the sake of her unborn child- myself, Krystie, Mary (when she’s not busy with her own child), Hannah and Viks make sure that no matter what, we’ll always have time for Charlotte if she needs us.

Keith, on the other hand, has all but completely vanished from our lives. Sometimes I catch myself wondering what my life would be like if I had chosen him instead of Stuart- I HAD pined after him for over three years, after all- but every time I ‘fantasise’, all the negative consequences that choice would have brought come to mind- consequences like an inevitable alienation from Charlotte, the disapproval of the rest of the Angels (and possible Nikki and her gang too), and the effect it’d have on Stuart… But the effect on Keith of my decision to be with Stuart has been just as negative. Stuart tells me that he rarely hangs out with the boys any more- he wasn’t at the Top Gear party last week, and has been replaced as Jonathan’s best man after missing several of Jonathan’s wedding planning meetings (though I suspect at these meetings are less about planning a wedding and more about eating junk food and playing videogames). Stuart’s said that he’s worried about Keith... And so am I.

All thoughts of Keith leave my mind, however, when Stuart and I arrive in his bedroom and his suit almost immediately finds its way to his floor, closely followed by my dress, my shoes and my sexy extra-special lingerie. I pant heavily as Stuart gently teases my nipples with his lips, whilst I stroke his swollen clitoris, smiling wickedly as I feel his body start to twitch and pulse. Within seconds, we're on his bed, our mouths locked in a passionate embrace and our hands exploring each other's most sensitive, personal areas. Soon, I break away from the kiss and turn so that Stuart's groin is directly in front of my face. I gently take his clitoris between my lips, and Stuart runs his expert tongue over my most sensitive organ, stimulating it to orgasm and beyond as I feel Stuart thrust uncontrollably, telling me that he has reached his climax as well.

“Thank god they weren’t filming THAT,” Stuart giggles as I snuggle into his warm chest.

“Get some sleep babe,” I order between heavy panting. “Long day tomorrow…”

“Sure thing,” Stuart says, giving me a long kiss before we both quickly fall into a deep sleep.

I awaken still snuggled up against Stuart’s slender, slumbering frame, and I spend at least fifteen minutes listening to him breathe before waking him with a kiss on his lips.

“I could stay awake, just to hear you breathing…” I sing to my boyfriend as he slowly wakes up.

“Good, but I doubt Becca would approve of you being in the band,” Stuart laughs.

“…And I’m happy where I am, on the OTHER side of the desk,” I laugh, patting Stuart firmly on the backside as he gets up and heads into the shower. After I shower, I apply a moderate layer of make-up before pulling on a brand-new bra and thong set (Stuart and I keep some clothes at each other’s houses), a pair of black tights, a tight blue top and an extra-tight knee-length black pencil skirt. After pulling on the same shoes I wore last night (much to Stuart’s annoyance) I walk downstairs, hand-in-hand with my love, to where his family are waiting around their vast breakfast table.

“Morning Stu!” Stuart’s newly-retired dad says to us as we take our seats. “Morning Jamie! Good night out, I take it?”

“It was great,” I reply with a smile. “Are we the only ones up?”

“Lee and Emma stayed the night at their house,” Stuart’s mother explains. “Becca and Riley are still in bed… I hope once you get her that band she wants you’ll also get some hard work out of that girl!” I open my mouth to respond, but am silenced by a disapproving grumble from Stuart’s father.

“Oh come on, dad,” Stuart pleads. “It’s NOT getting in the way of her uni studies- if anything, it’s helping them as she’s studying music- and you know I’ll never let her get exploited the way some stars are.”

“Try and look at it from my perspective,” Mr Milton sighs. “My baby girl is being turned into a pin-up and it’s my son who’s pinning her up there!”

“’Pin-up’ is a bit harsh,” I try to argue, only to get cut off by the elderly gentleman.

“My son AND his girlfriend,” Stuart’s dad sighs, just as Becca descends the staircase hand-in-hand with her boyfriend.

“Speak of the devil and she appears,” Stuart laughs, prompting Becca to stick her tongue out at him as she sits down.

“Only good things, I trust?” Becca laughs as talk quickly descends into a discussion of her upcoming ‘superstardom’, but all throughout the breakfast all I can focus on are the accusing looks I’m STILL occasionally getting from Stuart’s family- even from the girl I’m trying to make into a superstar. It’s a relief when Emma (Stuart’s older sister) and her husband arrive to whisk us all away for lunch, where the atmosphere is at least a little friendlier (thanks mostly to Emma’s pregnancy being the main topic of discussion).

“Do you…” I ask hesitantly as Stuart and I drive home after the meal. “Do you think your family will ever forgive me for, well, you know?”

“I’VE forgiven you, that’s all that matter,” Stuart says. “I LOVE you. What the old farts and the little brat think… Is it important?”

“’Old farts and little brat’ is a bit harsh, don’t you think?” I giggle.

“Meh, it’s true, though,” Stuart sighs. “They’ll come round, I know they will. When they see that I’m NOT letting you go… They’ll have to!” I giggle happily as Stuart drives us to our next ‘rendezvous’ of the day, this time with my own parents.

“Jamie!” Mum beams happily, greeting me and my boyfriend with a big hug each. “Stuart! You’re both looking so well!”

“Hi Jamie!” Dad says, also giving me a big hug. “Hello, son! Come on in, you’ve not got any cameras with you this time, I trust?”

“No, no, just us,” I laugh as I snuggle up next to Stuart on our sofa.

“That’s a very nice pair of shoes,” mum says. “Did you get them from one of your endorsements?”

“Yeah,” I say, showing off the footwear as dad and Stuart playfully roll their eyes at each other. “I can always get you a pair if you’d like…”

“Noo,” mum giggles. “If I tried wearing a pair like that I’d probably break my ankles if not my neck!”

“So, Mark,” Stuart announces loudly. “Had any chance to take those new golf clubs for a spin yet?” My dad laughs as Stuart attempts vainly to add some masculinity to the conversation.

“Not in this weather,” dad chuckles. “Might head up to the course on Wednesday if the weather clears up. Fancy coming with me for a round?”

“Heh, haven’t played golf in ages,” Stuart laughs. “My dad tried to teach me a few years ago but it was just a few months after I started transitioning, my upper body strength sucked…”

“I can teach you,” dad says with a warm smile. “It’s easy enough once you get the hang of it.”

“Okay,” Stuart says with a wide grin of his own. “Wednesday it is!”

“Boys and their toys…” I tease, making Stuart give me a tight, playful cuddle.

“Girls and their shoes!” Stuart retorts as the four of us giggle happily- the relaxed, friendly atmosphere a far cry from the tension of lunch with Stuart’s family. The ‘duelling discussion’ of fashion vs sport continues through the rest of the day, including a large dinner that mum cooks for us. We eventually head home just after 6pm with my skirt feeling extra tight from all the delicious food I’ve eaten all day.

“Going to need to work EXTRA hard at ballet tomorrow,” I laugh as I relaxed my bloated-feeling stomach.

“Oh please,” Stuart laughs. “You’re still as skinny as a rake! Well, skinny but with all the right sexy curves in all the right sexy places!” I giggle as Stuart gently strokes my thigh with his left hand.

“You and dad seem to get on better and better every time you see each other,” I say. “God knows you get on better than I do with your mum…”

“I like Mark, he’s a great guy,” Stuart says. “Can’t believe he reacted the way he did when he, well, ‘met Jamie-Lee’ for the first time.” I sigh as I remember my disastrous coming out three years ago.

“I think he realised that either he needed an attitude adjustment or risk losing his child forever,” I mumble. “Glad he picked the right option… Think he still hasn’t forgiven himself for that first meeting.”

“But have YOU forgiven him?” Stuart asks.

“A thousand times over,” I say happily. “If I ever end up adopting a child, I’d hope to be as good at raising them as my parents.” Stuart smiles and squeezes my hand as we drive into the night.

“Hi honey, we’re home!” I giggle as I open the front door of Charlotte’s vast home.

“And what time do you call this?” My six months pregnant BFF asks, tapping her foot on the floor in mock disapproval, before bursting into a fit of giggles and giving myself and Stuart big hugs each.

“Are Jon and Viks still here?” Stuart asks of Charlotte’s ‘babysitters’ for today.

“Nah, sent them home about an hour ago,” Charlotte says dismissively.

“Umm, okay, you were okay on your own?” I ask, not even bothering to disguise my concern.

“Oh please,” Charlotte giggles. “I’m 23, I’m not an infant! Come on, hope you’re still hungry, Jon made an AMAZING soufflé!”

“This would be a high, then,” Stuart whispers to me as we follow Charlotte into the living room, where Stuart thankfully finishes off Jonathan’s soufflé so I don’t have to torture my stomach any further.

“You two have fun with your parentses?” Charlotte asks.

“Yeah,” Stuart sighs, his stomach clearly feeling the effects of the soufflé. “My folks are still a bit awkward around Jamie, though…” I frown as I see Charlotte’s face start to fall- the reason for Stuart’s family’s unhappiness toward me also affected Charlotte on a very personal level.

“Meh, more Jamie for the rest of us, then!” Charlotte giggles. “I take it clan Travis are more accepting of their prospective son-in-law?”

“Bit early to say ‘son-in-law’,” I laugh nervously. “But yes, yes they are, dad even wants to take Stuart out for a round of golf…”

“Ooh, bonding with the old man…” Charlotte teases. “I remember when I was sixteen, when I first went out with Keith I’d spend SO much time with his mum…” I watch Charlotte carefully as she talks about her teenage years and her early relationship with Keith, just in case her memories cause some sort of ‘trigger’ that sends her emotions on a downward spiral, but much to my relief, the smile remains on her face throughout the evening, even as we eventually head to bed just after 10pm. After I dilate, I smile as Stuart wraps his arms around my naked body and holds me close to him under the sheets, but I can’t help but worry about my BFF, alone in her bed for the umpteenth day in a row…

I wake up on Monday morning still wrapped in Stuart’s arms, and it takes nearly all of my willpower to unwrap myself and head into the shower, before pulling on a brand-new pair of soft pink tights and my trusty black tank leotard. I grin wickedly as I climb back onto my bed and rub my lycra-clad body against Stuart’s arms and his face, giggling as he sleepily moans with delight at the sensation of the soft fabric against his skin.

“Mmm…” Stuart sighs. “MUCH nicer when the tights are on someone else’s body…” I laugh as Stuart grabs my slender thigh and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Get up babe,” I say, giving Stuart a quick kiss. “You’re driving!” Stuart smiles as he tiredly stretches his body en route to the shower, emerging a few minutes later and pulling on a plain grey shirt and a slouchy pair of jeans.

“Aren’t you a little old for ballet by now?” Stuart asks as we- accompanied by Charlotte- head down to his car. I stare at my BFF as Stuart asks his question, who simply nods approvingly.

“BOY!” We both shout, startling the sexy transman.

“You know I take that as a compliment, GIRLS!” Stuart retorts, making both myself and Charlotte giggle.

“It’s not really about the dancing,” I say. “Though being beautiful, elegant and graceful IS always fun! It’s really more about having something I can do with the girls, ALL the girls. It’s not really any different from your games nights…”

“Yeah, but on our games nights, we don’t wear special costumes or do our hair…” Stuart feebly argues.

“No, you just use £400 plastic boxes that have no other purpose,” Charlotte says. “There’s really no difference between spending £40 on a pair of pointe shoes and spending £40 on a videogame…”

“Yeah, but pointe shoes wear out,” Stuart says.

“As does your interest in the games you play!” I retort, making Stuart sigh.

“I’m not winning this one am I?” Stuart says, and Charlotte and I both grin widely as we shake our heads. “Fine… You’re all gorgeous, elegant, graceful ballerinas and always will be, regardless of age.”

“Better,” Charlotte says. “Can’t wait to get back into my pointes… Hope I haven’t got too rusty whilst I’m growing this little one!”

“You know Krys will give you extra refresher lessons,” I say, giving my BFF a hug as she gets on the back seat of Stuart’s car. “You saw how quickly Mary caught back up after having Kristina-Leigh, right?”

“Yeah, but Mary was always gorgeous and elegant,” Charlotte sighs.

“So were you!” I say. “You must’ve watched the black swan party performance we did a hundred times, you blew everyone away!”

“Hell, you blew ME away and I’m a blockheaded BOY!” Stuart jokes, making Charlotte giggle happily, much to my relief. Charlotte’s smile remains on her face as we arrive at the dance studio to be greeted by all the other ballerinas in our private lesson. After tying mine & Nikki’s buns, Krystie gets the lesson started. After our initial stretches, the twelve of us (including Krystie) pull our pointe shoes on and start practising pas de deux. Much to my surprise, I find myself working with Dannii- Nikki & Sarah’s friend- which is a unique experience as she’s as almost as tall in stocking feet as I am en pointe! After ninety minutes of dancing that leaves my dancewear stained with sweat but my body almost literally glowing with energy.

“Hey Snikki!” I say happily to my protégé and her girlfriend, who cringe at the use of the portmanteau as they remove their pointe shoes. “Got anything planned for the rest of the day?”

“No, only being driven to college by my sexy ballerina girlfriend!” Sarah giggles, wrapping her arms around Nikki as she tries to put her dress back on.

“And after you’ve done the driving?” I ask Nikki, who simply shrugs and giggles.

“Good,” I giggle. “You can drive me and Charlotte home!”

“Oh, what?” Nikki moans. “I’m claiming the petrol expenses, you know…”

“For four miles?” I laugh. “Still cheaper than a cab!”

“Why can’t Stuart drive you home?” Nikki asks.

“He’s off to his studio,” I explain as Charlotte and I jump into Nikki’s car before she can complain further. “Now come on, before Becca and Addie pester me about the auditions!” With a tired giggle, Nikki gets into her car and, after dropping Sarah off at college, drives both myself and Charlotte home.

“Okay,” Nikki says as she switches off her engine. “As you invited yourself into my car, I’m inviting MYSELF in for a coffee!”

“Sounds fair,” Charlotte giggles, getting out of the small car with mine & Nikki’s help. “Come on, you can lift better than that! I know there are precisely ZERO strong men on this driveway, but still…” Nikki and I both giggle- it may have been an unusual compliment that Charlotte paid us, but that’s obviously how it was intended to be taken, and it’s hardly the first time Charlotte’s complimented either myself or Nikki in this manner.

“So what’s up with you and Dannii?” I ask Nikki. “Any particular reason I was stuck with the giggly blonde giant today?”

“Ugh,” Nikki sighs. “Long story…”

Nikki sticks around for the rest of the morning, chatting with myself and Charlotte (and recording a brief video clip for her vlog) before heading to Sarah’s college for lunch, leaving me alone with my BFF for the rest of the day.

“Did Nikki and Dannii’s story remind you of anything?” Charlotte asks sadly as she cooks us a small lunch. “One girl acting selfishly, getting herself ostracised from the rest of the group, needing to earn forgiveness…”

“How could it not?” I sigh, giving my BFF a tight hug. “You might not want to hear this… But it kinda reminds me of Keith as well.” Charlotte pauses briefly as I mention the name of her former lover, before resuming her cooking.

“Difference is that Keith ostracised himself on purpose,” Charlotte says coldly. “He’s welcome back any time he wants, and not just with the boys…”

“Have you spoken to him recently?” I ask, but Charlotte simply shakes her head.

“I send him the occasional email, but he doesn’t respond,” Charlotte sighs. “He hasn’t even re-added me on Facebook…”

“He can’t ignore you forever,” I say. “He’s the father of your child, he has a responsibility.”

“He’s already agreed to pay me maintenance every month,” Charlotte says.

“There’s more to being a parent than just writing a cheque!” I say, my frustration growing at Charlotte’s lackadaisical attitude toward the father of her child. “He hasn’t even set foot in the nursery yet…”

“Ah, lucky that I’ve got you and several handsome strong men, aren’t I?” Charlotte says, perking up. “Speaking of, Krystie & Mikey will be dropping round later tonight.”

“Thanks for the warning,” I giggle. “I’ll get changed out of my ballet gear before she makes me dance the entire Nutcracker, then!” After lunch, I change out of my dance gear into a pair of black tights and a long black skirt with a VERY high slit up one side before heading downstairs to help Charlotte browse the internet for baby gear. Ever since Joshua agreed to buy her house, Charlotte’s financial situation has improved dramatically- she’s no longer a millionaire, but not in danger of going bankrupt, and whilst she can’t afford to throw a costume party at the drop of a hat (I shelled out for Nikki’s party last week) she’s more than able to spend a few quid on baby toys.

“Hey, mother and godmother to be!” Krystie squeaks as she arrives at our house after dinner, greeting both myself and Charlotte with tight hugs.

“Hi Charlotte, Hi Jamie,” Mikey- Krystie’s boyfriend- says. “Found something you lost.” I laugh as Stuart steps out from behind Mikey and greets me with a long kiss.

“Oh stop it!” Krystie chastises, making both myself and Stuart giggle into each other’s mouths. “And why did you change out of your dance gear?”

“A better question would be why HAVEN’T you?” I laugh, pointing at Krystie’s long, baby pink legs.

“Tights and leotards are really comfy!” Krystie giggles. “Besides, gives Mikey more to ‘unwrap’. He’s always, you know, ‘better’ if I make him work for it!” I roll my eyes as Mikey grabs a generous handful of Krystie’s right buttock through her short, loose skirt. Before long, the five of us are crashed out on Charlotte’s sofas, relaxing after a long day.

“No cameras tonight?” Mikey asks, earning a playful whack from his girlfriend.

“I knew you only loved me for my media profile,” Krystie teases, snuggling into Mikey’s chest.

“How long have you two been going out, two months?” Charlotte laughs. “Already living in each other’s pants…” Not to be outdone, I slip a hand into Stuart’s jeans pocket and snuggle into his chest, giggling as Stuart wraps an arm around me.

“Guys, I think Charlotte’s feeling a little left out,” Krystie says- though Charlotte actually looks happier than she normally does when confronted with the blatant displays of affection the four of us are doing. Nevertheless, Mikey and Stuart unwrap themselves from around Krystie and myself and plop down either side of Charlotte, peppering her with hugs and kisses.

“Affection’s good,” Charlotte giggles. “Helping me put together the baby’s wardrobe would be better!” The boys both sigh and laugh as Charlotte leads them upstairs to where her Ikea-bought wardrobe lays in pieces in the work-in-progress nursery. Even though he’s been taking testosterone for almost nine years and has a decent amount of muscles, Stuart still has the bone structure of a woman and is still only 5’ 7”- a full eight inches shorter than Mikey- so it’s Krystie’s boyfriend who does the majority of the heavy lifting whilst Stuart tackles the more fiddly bits. In less than an hour, the wardrobe is assembled, and Charlotte’s already started moving tiny baby clothes into it.

“Why does the kid need such a big wardrobe?” Stuart laughs. “He’s going to be a boy, isn’t he?”

“BOY!” Krystie, Charlotte and I all yell simultaneously at Stuart, who simply smiles smugly in response.

“Yeah, and you don’t outnumber us, isn’t that right, Keith junior?” Stuart says, crouching down beside Charlotte’s swollen belly.

“He’ll be on his mum’s side, like all boys should!” Charlotte scolds, giving Stuart a playful smack on the head and sending him scurrying back to my side.

“We should probably get an early night,” Stuart says, wrapping his arm around my waist again.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Got meetings with Joshua all morning…”

“Same here,” Krystie sighs. “We’d better get going, babe…”

“Mikey, before you go, can you shift the wardrobe into place, please?” Charlotte asks as Stuart and I head back to my bedroom, and after I dilate, we jump into bed, almost immediately finding ourselves in each other’s arms…

The alarm clock on my phone wakes us up at 7:30am, and after taking turns in the shower (Stuart’s still a bit squeamish about showering together) I dress for the day, pulling on a sexy red bra and thong set and applying a full face of make-up, before brushing my hair out to its maximum volume and staring into my wardrobe for an outfit to wear.

“You look sexy in anything,” Stuart whispers, grabbing my bare buttock and giving me a kiss on my neck.

“It’s SOPHISTICATED I’m looking for today,” I inform my boyfriend, who dresses himself in a very smart suit, complete with a perfectly-knotted necktie. After a few more minutes’ deliberation, I pick out a slinky dress in a light grey. The dress is sleeveless, knee-length and very form-fitting, showing off my feminine curves perfectly. I initially pair the dress with a pair of light black hold-ups, before a wicked smile creeps across my face and I swap the stockings for a pair of light, metallic pink tights.

“So much for ‘sophisticated’,” Stuart teases as I lower the skirt of the dress over my brightly-coloured legs.

“I’ll wear black shoes then,” I say, sticking my tongue out at the sexy man as I attach a pair of 4” stiletto pumps to my feet, fastening the thin ankle straps before touching up my nail polish and lightly spritzing myself with some new perfume.

“SEXY WOMAN,” Stuart says, taking me in his arms and dipping me backwards as he plants a long, deep kiss on my scarlet lips.

“Don’t mess up my lipstick!” I chastise the man as he wraps his arms around my waist, preventing me from reaching my make-up table. After eventually fixing my make-up and grabbing my handbag, Stuart and I head down to his car, encountering Krystie and Mikey arriving in his car.

“LOVE that dress!” Krystie giggles, greeting myself and Stuart with big hugs.

“LOVE your suit!” I gush as Krystie does a twirl in her extra-short pink skirt suit. “Think I’ve got one like that myself, what make is it?”

“Bespoke, naturally,” Krystie boasts. “I’ll give you the tailors address later. More importantly, where DID you get those tights?”

“The internet, naturally,” I giggle.

“GIRLS!” Mikey and Stuart both yell, making Krystie and I double over in fits of giggles.

“GIRLS RULE!” Krystie and I retort as we get in Stuart’s car, Krystie giving her boyfriend a long kiss as we depart. A confused look passes over my face as I stare into the car’s door mirror at the image of Krystie’s boyfriend disappearing into Charlotte’s house.

“What’s Mikey doing?” I ask the tall, pink-clad girl.

“Charlotte asked him if he could help out some more,” Krystie says nonchalantly. “He’s not got anything on until next week, I said he’d be happy to help out.”

“Hmm, okay,” I say, but deep inside I have a VERY strange feeling about the idea of Charlotte alone in her house with another woman’s boyfriend…

“Jamie!” Joshua greets me with a hug as I arrive at his vast office. “Stuart! Krystie! My superstar searching squad! Come on in!” The three of us smile happily as we follow Joshua up to his office, where we spend the next two hours discussing the numerous women who have auditioned, with Krystie offering her expert opinion on their dancing abilities, Stuart on their vocal skills and me on their overall ‘look’. By the end of the meeting, all four of us- even the usually permanently-excited Joshua- are exhausted and in desperate need of some lunch.

“You three go, get your energy back!” Joshua laughs, dismissing myself, Krystie and Stuart. “And give my love to Michael Dawson!”

“I think he’s still recovering from the last time!” Krystie jokes, making Joshua bellow his trademark booming laugh before heading back into his office.

“Where do you want to go for lunch?” Krystie asks.

“Umm, aren’t we going to head home?” I ask, confused as to how Krystie could be so blasé about her boyfriend being alone with another woman- especially a woman with as much ‘form’ as Charlotte.

“There’s a new Turkish place that just opened, it’s about a mile from here,” Krystie says. “REALLY want to check it out.”

“Turkish? Really?” I ask as we get into Stuart’s car.

“It’s one of very few nationalities that don’t VIOLENTLY disagree with me,” Krystie laughs. “Stu, I’ll give you the post code.”

“Umm, okay, I guess,” I say, still unsure how Krystie can trust Charlotte so implicitly. If it were Stuart in Mikey’s position… he may not be Charlotte’s ‘type’ but she has been single for a long time…

After lunch, Stuart drops Krystie at her dance studio before driving the two of us back to Charlotte’s house to find her deep in a gossip session with Mary (and, technically, Kristina-Leigh).

“Hey, super cute god-daughter!” I say to the giggling infant, who laughs happily in my face.

“Hey, super super cute god-daughter!” Stuart says in a soft, almost feminine voice I’ve only heard him use on very rare occasions.

“There you go,” Mary says, handing the happy infant to her godfather, who gently rocks her in his arms. “I would say ‘be careful’ but sure you’ve cuddled her enough to know that already!”

“For someone who insists that he’s a tough, butch guy, Stuart really is very, very good with babies!” Charlotte teases, but my boyfriend simply keeps grinning.

“Maybe it’s just hard-wired, something hormones can’t overwrite,” Stuart laughs, before giving Kristina-Leigh a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Nah, it’s not genetic,” I say, taking the tiny infant from Stuart and gently cuddling her as she giggles contentedly. “You’re just a big softy when it comes to babies, that’s all!”

“You’re going to be a great father one day,” Charlotte says.

“Kind of missing a few ‘important parts’ you need to be a father,” Stuart sighs sadly as I hand Kristina-Leigh back to him. “Has Mikey gone?”

“Yeah, he just stuck around to shift a few things around,” Charlotte says, setting off yet more alarm bells in my head. “Is he getting on well with the other boys?”

“Yep,” Stuart says happily. “Not as well as he’s getting on with Krys, obviously!”

“And how’s this band of yours coming along?” Mary asks, taking Kristina-Leigh back from my arms.

“It’s getting there,” Stuart says. “It’s been in the works for ages now, no sense in rushing it…” I can’t help but smile as the gossip session shifts into full gear, with Stuart looking at home chatting with us as any of us girls- though as the discussion is mostly about work- HIS work- that is to be expected. Mary and Kristina-Leigh leave after a while, leaving the three of us alone on our sofas. Stuart and I eventually opt for an early night, but as I head to bed, I can’t help but overhear Charlotte talking on the phone to Krystie- and asking to speak to Mikey as well…

My alarm wakes me as always at 7:30am, but as I have the entire day free, I switch the alarm off and try to get back to sleep, only to be thwarted when Stuart unwraps his arms from my waist and pads to the shower.

“Where you going this early?” I moan.

“Golf with your dad,” Stuart laughs. “Forgotten already?”

“Ugh,” I sigh. “Have fun, babe.” As Stuart cleanses his body under the hot water, I roll over and quickly fall back asleep, only to be woken mere minutes later by Stuart giving be a goodbye kiss on the lips.

“Got anything exciting planned for today?” Stuart asks. “Well, as exciting as it gets without me around, anyway…”

“Funny man,” I laugh. “Nah, probably just catching up on my blog, my columns…”

“Cheeky,” Stuart says, earning himself a firm pat on the backside as he leaves. I get up myself about half an hour later after failing to get back to sleep, and after dilating and showering, I apply a light layer of make-up and pull on a comfortable long-sleeved navy blue bodysuit, nude tights and a cream longer than knee length pencil skirt. With my hair tied back into a tight ponytail and 4” stiletto heels on my feet, the look is sexier than it needs to be for a day in front of my laptop, but they’re my clothes, and I’m entitled to wear what I want, when I want.

“Morning, sexy!” Charlotte teases as I sit down at the breakfast table. “Just got my one and only coffee of the day brewing, fancy a cup?”

“Please,” I say, before taking a deep breath. “Charlotte… Yesterday, Mikey…”

“Yes?” Charlotte asks.

“What- what did he do?” I ask, barely disguising my concern.

“He put together a mobile for Keith junior,” Charlotte replies in a nonplussed voice. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh- nothing,” I say. “It’s just- he seems to be spending a lot of time here for someone not technically involved in the kid’s life, that’s all…”

“Well his two godfathers are both extremely busy most of the time,” Charlotte sighs. “Neither are really good at physical stuff, one due to age, one due to- well, you should know better than anyone.” I nod at Charlotte’s delicate phrasing of Stuart’s ‘condition’. “And god knows Keith junior’s ACTUAL father is nowhere to be seen…” I sigh- Charlotte is, of course, correct.

“And it’s not like Mikey minds,” Charlotte says. “Though he did cut his finger pretty badly putting together that mobile…”

“Isn’t he a session guitarist?” I ask. “Doesn’t he, you know, need his fingers in one piece to do that?”

“Yeah, though he said it’ll be healed before his next gig,” Charlotte says.

“Yeah, but still…” I argue. “It shouldn’t be on him to do all the work…”

“Jamie…” Charlotte says. “What- what are you planning? I know that look…”

An hour later, I find myself stood outside the same door I stood in front of on Boxing Day, when I made the decision that would change my life. The only difference is that today, it’s not MY life I’m hoping to change…

“Jamie?” Keith’s mother asks. “Keith’s not here, he’s at university…” His studies would explain SOME of his unavailability to look after the mother of his child, but it doesn’t explain why he’s been absent for a whole two months.

“That’s okay,” I say. “I can catch him by telephone.”

“That’s not a good idea,” Keith’s mother says. “I can let him know you stopped by, get him to call you when he’s ready. Is it about Charlotte?”

“It’s about his son,” I say in a tone that’s more aggressive than I was aiming for. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just- Ugh, I’m hardly in a position to criticise…”

“He isn’t being enough of a dad,” Mrs Hartley says in a sad voice.

“I didn’t want to be the one who said it,” I whisper.

“You have to understand,” Keith’s mother says, “Keith was DEVASTATED when Charlotte cheated on him, and ever since you- at Christmas- he really hasn’t been the same since.”

“Oh, I understand,” I say. “But it’s not about him, or me, or even Charlotte… It’s about his kid. Surely you’re looking forward to being grandparents, you and your husband?”

“More than anything,” Mrs Hartley says. “But first and foremost, we’re still parents… We have to look out for Keith first, above everything else.”

“Even above his own child?” I ask, but Mrs Hartley simply shakes her head in response.

“I’ll let him know you called,” Keith’s mother says, though I can tell from the tone of her voice that she really means ‘get lost’. I simply nod and get back in my car, ready to head home having accomplished nothing from my trip. As I pull into Charlotte’s driveway, I’m surprised by the presence of a dark blue Transit Van in front of the house, until I remember exactly who the car belongs to.

“Mikey?” I whisper to myself. “Oh god, Charlotte, what have you done…” After switching off my engine I hurry into the house, my heart sinking and my head racing when I hear loud banging noises coming from the top of the stairs. I take off my heels and run up the stairs in my stocking feet, quickly locating the source of the banging- the new nursery. Fearing the worst, I open the door… And discover Mikey assembling a chest of drawers, with Charlotte watching intently- and both are fully clothed.

“Hey Jay!” Charlotte giggles.

“Hey,” I say, slightly stunned by the sight- and my fears being completely groundless.

“Hi Jamie,” Mikey says.

“Hi,” I say. “Are you okay doing that with your finger?”

“He’s a damn sight better than you with your nails!” Charlotte giggles.

“Honestly, it’s fine,” Mikey says. “Actually I kinda enjoy it, always loved DIY, putting stuff together… Even built my own guitar once.”

“Stuart’s not exactly the handiest guy in the world,” I laugh as Mikey continues his work. “Think stringing a guitar is about his limit.”

“Oh, but he more than makes up for it in other ways,” Charlotte giggles. “Though I do wish I was able to name THREE godfathers for Keith junior…” Mikey laughs embarrassedly as he continues about his handiwork, eventually finishing half an hour later and receiving a well-earned round of applause from both myself and Charlotte.

“Marvellous!” Charlotte says, inspecting the new piece of furniture. “Come on downstairs, let me make you some coffee.”

“I’ve really got to get going in a bit,” Mikey says. “Got to pick Krystie up…”

“To bring her back here, I hope?” Charlotte asks.

“Of course,” Mikey laughs. “Best coffee bar in London!” Charlotte grins happily as Mikey heads off in his van.

“You thought I was having it off with him, didn’t you?” Charlotte asks, not even turning her head to look at me.

“Wha- how could you-“ I splutter, before sighing heavily. “Yes…”

“I doubt you were the only one,” Charlotte giggles. “Doubt Mikey would go for a 5’ 5” whale, though…”

“’Pregnancy’ doesn’t equal ‘whale’!” I argue, giving Charlotte a quick hug. “Three months after your kid’s born, you’ll be the sexiest of all us, once again.”

“Sexiest but still single,” Charlotte sighs. “I know my reputation, I know I’m going to have to earn trust again… May as well get on with that sooner rather than later!” I giggle with Charlotte as we head back inside and quickly descend into one of our old-fashioned one on one gossiping sessions. The session comes to an abrupt end when Stuart arrives just over an hour and a half later- though as this means I get to cuddle up to him on the sofa, I don’t mind too much! Mikey returns a short while afterward with Krystie clinging tightly to his back, and every time the couple engage in a public display of affection, I find myself glancing over at Charlotte to see if she is upset by it in any way- but she giggles happily with every single kiss or cuddle the two share.

“Keep that up and soon there’ll be THREE mothers in the Angels!” Charlotte teases as Krystie and Mikey cuddle each other yet again.

“No chance!” Krystie argues. “Besides, it’s Viks’s turn after you, then-“ Krystie abruptly pauses as she points over at me. “S-sorry Jamie, sometimes I forget…”

“Eh, whatever, I promise I’ll adopt before you give birth!” I tease, making Krystie giggle happily.

“Angels: The Next Generation!” Stuart quips, making everyone in the living room giggle happily. We spend the whole evening laughing and gossiping, before Krystie and Mikey depart just after 9pm. Before they go, however, Krystie takes me to one side to talk privately.

“You spotted what I did, didn’t you?” Krystie asks bluntly. I feign innocence at first, before realising that Krystie knows me far too well.

“Yes…” I sigh. “My question is: Why, exactly?”

“I really, really like Mikey,” Krystie sighs happily. “But I need to know that I can TRUST him. Charlotte, too… I figure if they were going to mess around, better to know that now rather than later when the relationship’s been going on a while and it’d hurt more…” I lean forward and give Krystie a big hug, realising that I’m guilty of the exact same behaviour she was testing Mikey for.

“You’ve got a keeper,” I giggle. “He really is working hard in the nursery… Make sure you get a ring put on it before too long!”

“One step at a time!” Krystie teases as she heads out to Mikey’s van. “And look who’s talking!” I giggle as I wave the happy couple off, before sighing happily as Stuart comes outside and wraps a strong arm around my waist.

“What was THAT about?” Stuart asks.

“Oh, nothing,” I say with a smile. “Come on, time for bed!”

“It’s only 9:30,” Stuart argues. “I’m not sleepy, neither of us have work tomorrow…” Stuart’s voice trails off as he realises exactly what I mean by ‘bed’.

Less than 30 minutes later, the two of us are laid in bed, our naked bodies glistening with a sweet-smelling sheen of sweat.

“I love you so much,” Stuart whispers in my ears as he wraps his arms around me. I take a deep breath, realising that I need to tell Stuart what I did earlier today.

“Stuart,” I say softly, “earlier today, I- I went to see Keith…” Stuart abruptly releases me from his cuddle, before taking two deep breaths of his own.

“I’m guessing when you say ‘see’ you just mean see and not, well, ‘see’,” Stuart says. “Like, as in, how much of him did you ‘see’?”

“I went round to bollock him for not helping more with the kid,” I explain. “And he wasn’t even there, anyway, I only spoke to his mum, who said he’d pass on a message and get him to call me.”

“…And has he?” Stuart asks, to which I sadly shake my head.

“Didn’t really expect him to,” I sigh. “But doesn’t it strike you as odd that you and Mikey are here every day helping out, but the child’s actual father is nowhere to be seen?”

“He’s probably still hurting from losing Charlotte,” Stuart sighs. “And losing you, for that matter… Still no excuse, though.”

“No, it isn’t,” I mutter.

“He’s lost me, too- well, more that I’ve lost him,” Stuart sighs. “You know how close we used to be, now I barely even see the guy, it’s like we were never friends to begin with…”

“That sucks,” I sigh. “I remember when I fell out with Charlotte, some days I’d have given anything for her to be my BFF again… And now she is, so there’s no reason you and Keith can’t make up!”

“Yeah, you and Charlotte didn’t fight over a girl, though,” Stuart says, before letting out a frustrated moan. “Ugh, by which I of course mean that you shouldn’t blame yourself for me and Keith being macho idiots-“

“Oh, believe me, I don’t!” I laugh, silencing Stuart with a kiss. “Get some sleep, SEXY macho idiot!” Stuart chuckles and wraps his arms around me again, and we’re both quickly asleep, waking the following morning at 7:30am feeling more contented than we’ve been in a long while.

“Come on,” Stuart urges as he unwraps himself from around me and heads into the shower. “Dilate, then shower, then dress quick, you’re not going to be late for another lesson!”

“Yes, MISTER Milton,” I say in a mock-schoolgirl voice. After dilating and showering, I dress in a comfortable black bra and thong set, followed by a short denim skirt, ribbed black tights and a warm sweater. I’m not planning on going anywhere today, so I tie my hair back into a very plain ponytail, but I (of course) apply a light layer of makeup.

“Right, get yourself seated,” Stuart orders, setting up a small stool in front of a keyboard he’d bought for me last month. After hearing Stuart play all his instruments, I explained that I’d always wanted to learn how to play the piano, and whilst Stuart’s not a teacher, he agreed to give me lessons- which consist of about 25% actual teaching and about 75% teasing or trying to get into my pants. And yes, most of the time I let him into my pants.

On this occasion, however, last night’s discussion of Keith has somewhat sapped Stuart’s libido, so my fingers remain firmly on the keyboard, as does his- and by the end of the lesson an hour later, I feel I’ve actually started to get the hang of the complicated instrument.

“You’re getting really good at this!” Stuart says proudly as he packs away the instrument. “Certainly better than I am at golf…”

“Oh yes,” I say happily. “How was the big boy’s day out, anyway?”

“Fun, albeit frustrating,” Stuart laughs. “Your dad’s practically semi-pro, whilst I seemed to end up in the sand on virtually every hole…”

“First time playing?” I ask.

“First time in a while,” Stuart says. “Your dad said he once took you out for a game, though?”

“Yeah, when I was fifteen,” I laugh at the memory. “Doubt I was any better than you were…”

“Yep, that’s what your dad said,” Stuart teases, making me playfully whack him with a pillow.

“I actually kinda wish I’d gone with you,” I confess. “I mean, you and dad are getting so close… I’m kinda jealous, you know? I mean, it sounds silly, he IS my dad and always will be…”

“No, I get it,” Stuart says. “You and he were never really father and son because you were never really his son… I reckon Mark’s trying to make up for that with me instead of you, and of course that wouldn’t work with my parents as they already have two other girls…”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “But it’d be nice to, you know, do some father-daughter things once in a while…” A brief pause fills the room as neither of us know how to respond to what I’d just said.

“So, we’ve got the whole day free…” Stuart says to end the pause. “I could always teach you the guitar if you’d like?”

“One instrument at a time!” I giggle, before taking a deep breath. “Stu… Do you know what days Keith has free? As study days?” Stuart bristles at the mention of his former best friend, but answers anyway.

“Tuesdays and Thursdays,” Stuart says. “Why?”

“Today’s Thursday, so he’ll be at home,” I say. “I want… I want to try to talk to him again, to get him to step up.”

“I’m coming with you,” Stuart instantly says. “Hey, I’m the kid’s godparent too, we’ve got to provide a united front, I-“

“That’d be good,” I say. I of course know the REAL reason Stuart wants to come along as well, and I can’t say I blame him one bit. I want Stuart to trust me- though just like Krystie and Mikey, I know I have to earn that trust back again. After I apply a little more make-up and repair my nail polish, I head with Stuart down to his car. Charlotte has work today so left early with Nikki, so there’s no problem with leaving her on her own because, of course, she won’t be home alone.

We arrive at Keith’s house just over half an hour later to discover his car parked in his driveway. Taking a deep breath, I ring the doorbell, gulping as the man himself opens the door.

“What do you two want?” Keith asks with an air of anger in his voice.

“We just want to talk,” I say, softening my voice even more than usual in an attempt to calm Keith down.

“About what?” Keith asks.

“About your son,” I say, causing Keith’s defensive demeanour to all but vanish.

“There’s nothing more to be said,” Keith mumbles. “I said I’d support the child and I will. End of discussion.”

“The child needs his father!” I plead, but Keith simply shakes his head.

“I’m not fit to be a father,” Keith moans self-pityingly.

“Everyone who finds themselves in your position says that,” Stuart says softly. “You owe it to your son to at least TRY.”

“I can’t be in the same house as HER,” Keith moans. “It still hurts too much.”

“HER happens to be the mother of your child,” I argue. “You’ll have to interact with her sooner or later.” Much to my frustration, Keith simply shakes his head.

“It’s even worse with you two living there as well,” Keith sighs. “That entire house is a reminder of everything that’s been taken away from me.”

“You need to man up,” Stuart says bluntly, earning a truly foul stare from Keith.

“The hell do YOU know about ‘manning up’?” Keith snorts, earning himself an evil stare from my boyfriend.

“BOYS!” I shout in a much angrier voice than I usually use when I say that word. “Not the time, not the place!”

“Have you even been back to Charlotte’s since Christmas?” Stuart asks, and Keith simply shakes his head in response.

“Once the child is born, then I will,” Keith says. “If you’ve got me anything for my birthday tomorrow, don’t bother giving it to me.” Keith slams the door in our face before we have a chance to argue further. I ring the bell again and again, but neither Keith nor anyone else in the household answers it.

“Jamie,” Stuart says softly, leading me away from Keith’s house. “We should give him some time.”

“He’s had over six months,” I spit. “How much more time does he fucking well need?”

“Let’s- let’s just go home,” Stuart sighs as we get in his car and drive away. When we arrive home, my heart sinks when I find Charlotte in her living room, wrapping presents with ‘happy birthday’ written on them.

“Oh god, Charlie,” I sigh, sitting down next to my BFF. “Please tell me they’re not for Keith…”

“Know anyone else who has a birthday coming up soon?” Charlotte asks.

“Um, March 2nd…” Stuart says feebly, raising his hand before a stern stare from me convinces him to make himself scarce.

“I bought these ages ago,” Charlotte sighs, continuing her gift wrapping unabated. “Saved them especially for his 24th…”

“I got the additional wrapping paper you wanted,” Nikki calls from upstairs, raising my ire. After making sure Charlotte’s okay, I intercept my protégé before she can re-enter the living room.

“Why did you leave her by herself?” I hiss, barely containing my anger. “Moreover, why are you actually enabling this?”

“Um, uh,” Nikki splutters, almost dropping the tubes of wrapping paper in her arms. “She- she asked me to help- I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“Oh- never mind, it’s not your fault,” I sigh. “I’m sorry Nikki, it’s just- Keith’s kinda a sore spot for her right now…”

“She was talking about him a lot on the drive to the studio,” Nikki sighs. “I didn’t want to say anything- hell, what is there I CAN say?”

“…Never mind,” I sigh, leading Nikki back into the living room where she hands the tubes over to Charlotte.

“How are you planning on getting these gifts to Keith?” I ask my BFF.

“Nikki’ll drop me round tomorrow,” Charlotte says, making me shoot another disapproving stare at my still-upset protégé.

“It’s not a good idea for you and Keith to see each other, not so soon,” I sigh.

“Well he’s obviously not going to come here to pick them up,” Charlotte sighs. “Got to get them to him somehow…”

“Charlie…” I say cautiously. “Me and Stuart… We just came from Keith’s, he told us specifically that he doesn’t want us to drop any presents round to him tomorrow. I’m sorry.” Charlotte pauses at the news, as though processing the information, before angrily stabbing her scissors into the expensive cushion beside her.

“How?” Charlotte snaps, before starting to sob. “How can he hate me THAT much?” Instinctively, I reach in to give Charlotte a big hug- even though she’s still holding her scissors.

“FUCKING MEN!” Charlotte wails. I the corner of my eyes, I see Stuart open his mouth to respond, but a quick shake of the head from me convinces him not to do so. I hold Charlotte in my arms for the next ten minutes as she cries herself out, eventually calming down enough to speak coherently.

“I mean,” Charlotte sniffs. “It’s not like I expect him to take me back or anything, but I thought we could at least be friends…”

“Testosterone makes people stupid,” Nikki says. Again I have to advise Stuart against interjecting, though the smile on his face tells me that under the circumstances, he doesn’t mind his adopted gender being run down.

“All men should be forced to see things from a woman’s perspective at least once in their lives,” Charlotte spits, before smiling a few seconds later as Stuart returns from the kitchen, handing her a small tub of ice cream. “See? It worked for Stuart, the only REAL man I know!”

“Taking that as a compliment!” Stuart giggles as he also hands myself and Nikki ice cream before sitting down with a tub of his own.

“I don’t know what I expected, really,” Charlotte sighs as the ice cream cools her temper. “It’s just- in the past I made such a fuss of him on his birthday, it just seems wrong that I now completely ignore it…”

“That’s a break-up for you,” I sigh, making Charlotte sadly rest her head on my shoulder.

“He should at least let me send him ONE present,” Charlotte sighs. “There’s something I got specially… Something I KNOW he’ll love.”

“We’ll drop it round to him,” Stuart immediately offers, making me stare at him quizzically. “What? We’re going through the audition tapes faster than expected, we’ll have plenty of time to spare tomorrow. Besides… I kinda got him a present too that I want to drop off.”

“You’d do that for me?” Charlotte asks.

“For you AND my godson,” Stuart says with a warm smile.

“I need to get going,” Nikki sighs. “Promised Sarah I’d pick her up from college… You sure you’ll be alright?”

“I’ll be fine, you go!” Charlotte giggles.

“Will you be okay tonight?” I ask cautiously. “Because we can always stay home tonight…”

“Absolutely,” Stuart concurs, sitting down next to me and gripping my hand supportively.

“Oh, you guys,” Charlotte says, tears of happiness forming in her eyes. “But you had a big date planned tonight…”

“We’ll re-plan it,” Stuart shrugs, and I nod in agreement.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, not for me…” Charlotte whispers emotionally.

“You’re not asking, we’re offering!” I giggle.

“We’re INSISTING,” Stuart laughs, making Charlotte weep openly.

“I don’t deserve friends as good as you,” Charlotte blubs, giving us both a tight hug. “You can’t cancel dates every time I’m feeling a little down, though… I’ll call Hannah, Dannii, anyone who’s free and single, we’ll have a onesie party. You enjoy your night out!” I look across to Stuart, who merely shrugs.

“Only if you’re one million per cent sure,” Stuart says.

“Already texting the twin towers,” Charlotte giggles, using her own pet nickname for the 5’ 9” Hannah and the 5’ 11.5” Dannii. “Consider yourself off the hook, if- and ONLY if- you let me help you get ready for your date!”

“Deal!” I giggle happily as Stuart and I return Charlotte’s earlier hug. A short while later, I find myself sat in front of Charlotte’s dresser, having changed from my comfortable underwear into a sexy midnight blue lacy bra and thong set with a matching suspender belt, attached to which are two sheer seamed stockings.

“God, this brings back memories,” Charlotte giggles. “The very first days you used to live here, I’d do your hair and make-up… Is it- is it bad that I- oh god, I can’t believe I’m actually thinking this- is it bad that I kinda want Keith junior… To grow up like you?” I pause as Charlotte asks me this obviously personal question.

“Only if it’s what he truly wants,” I say. “Then again, I didn’t know that this was what I wanted until I was nineteen…”

“I’m not going to hide it from him,” Charlotte says as she treats my long blonde hair with strong-smelling hairspray. “Who you really are, who Stuart or Nikki really are or any other transgendered friends we make in the future. He’s going to grow up knowing that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be the opposite gender.” I grin at Charlotte’s compliment, but deep down, I know what her TRUE concern is.

“Just because you’re a gorgeous girly girl,” I say, “it doesn’t mean that you’d have less to teach a boy.”

“Yeah…” Charlotte sighs. “But I’m never going to be sat in front of a mirror doing my daughter’s hair, am I?”

“Yes you are!” I insist. “Just because your first child is a boy, doesn’t mean your second will be! And before you say anything, yes you WILL find a partner, you WILL have a full family in the future. You’re one of the most beautiful and amazing women in the whole world. I guarantee it.”

“I guess,” Charlotte sighs. “I could always settle for being godmother to yours & Stuart’s daughter, if you choose to adopt…”

“If we ever get that far,” I laugh.

“Says the woman getting tarted up to extreme levels for a date with him!” Charlotte teases. “Seriously Jay, you HAVE to keep hold of him. Don’t- don’t make the same mistake I did…”

“Never,” I whisper. “If anything… The way Keith’s acting, it just proves to me that I made the right choice. And the sex isn’t THAT bad once you get used to it- Stuart certainly knows what he’s doing ‘down there’!” Charlotte and I share a naughty giggle as I pull on my dress, a short, tight dress in a nearly black shade of blue with a thin straps and a very low cut décolletage. After slipping my feet into a pair of 4” heeled stilettos, repainting my nails to match the dress and grabbing my handbag, I do a twirl for Charlotte, who wolf whistles approvingly.

“Attention London!” Charlotte giggles. “The personification of sex is here, and her name is Jamie-Lee Burke!” I giggle excitedly as I step out onto the landing and come face to face with Stuart, who looks DAMNED sexy in his black trousers and pristine white shirt- though the illusion of cool sexiness fails slightly when his jaw drops open as his eyes slowly pan up my body, drinking in every millimetre of my image.

“Let me get that for you,” I say, walking over to my boyfriend and gently closing his mouth, before giving that same body part a long kiss.

“You look amazing,” Stuart whispers. “I mean, you always do, but-“ I giggle and silence Stuart with yet another kiss, before looking back at Charlotte, who simply nods approvingly.

“We won’t stay out late,” Stuart says to my BFF, who giggles as we walk down the stairs, hand-in-hand, greeting the arriving Hannah & Dannii on our way out.

“Hubba hubba!” Dannii and Hannah simultaneously coo as we get into Stuart’s car.

“Thank you, ladies!” Stuart teases, before we drive away to the posh restaurant we’ve booked for the night. As per usual, we eat quickly and skip dessert, heading straight home after the meal where we quietly- so as not to disturb Charlotte, Hannah or Dannii- head up to my bedroom, where our clothes swiftly find their way to the floor as Stuart and I collapse back on my bed, our bodies entwined in a passionate embrace…

An hour later, the two of us are laid back in bed, our bodies completely drained from our ‘exertions’.

“I love you so much,” Stuart says, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my neck.

“I love you too,” I sigh, happily relaxing into Stuart’s cuddle. “Stu… Have you really got a gift for Keith?”

“…No,” Stuart confesses. “I got him a card. Guess I could always post that…”

“Why did you tell Charlotte that you had a present, then?” I ask.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Stuart asks me.

“…Blindingly obvious,” I sigh. “She still loves him, and he obviously still lover her…”

“He’ll never admit it, of course,” Stuart sighs. “He was always the alpha male, now he’s the alpha male without an alpha female…”

“We can go over this tomorrow,” I sigh, rolling over into a comfortable sleeping position. “With HIM. Get some sleep, babe.”

“Night, gorgeous,” Stuart says, settling down with his arms still wrapped around me.” When I wake up the following morning, I’m momentarily confused to find myself alone under the sheets, though my confusion disappears when I hear my boyfriend’s deep, sexy voice coming from the end of the bed.

“Yes mum,” Stuart sighs into the phone. “I know it’s been a while since I’ve been back home… No, I’ve not permanently moved out… Charlotte’s just been feeling a bit low, Jamie and I need to help her out… I don’t recall you giving Emma this hard a time when she moved out… No, as I said, I’m NOT moving out…” I giggle happily as Stuart continues arguing with his mother, crawling along the bed and encircling his naked body from behind.

“I’ve got to go now,” Stuart chuckles into his phone. “Yes, yes she is. See you later mum. Love to you, dad and Becca.”

“Aww,” I coo as I cuddle Stuart close to me. “Momma’s BOY!”

“Heh,” Stuart sighs. “Guess I’m going to have to sleep there tonight just to get her off my back- eh, pun not intended considering where you currently are!”

“Hehe,” I giggle as I press myself harder into Stuart’s narrow back.

“You’ll be on one of your girls’ nights outs anyway,” Stuart reasons. “Want me to shower first whilst you dilate?”

“Please,” I say, taking the thick orange tube from my nightstand drawer. After I dilate and shower, I pull on a comfortable, sleeveless thong bodysuit, followed by a pair of black tights and a short, long sleeved purple dress. I slip my feet into ankle booties with a 2.5 inch heel- just enough to put me level with Stuart’s height- before grabbing my bag and heading downstairs, hand in hand with the man I love (who is of course just wearing a pair of comfortable jeans and a dark blue sweatshirt).

“Morning!” Charlotte greets us with a tired smile. “Coffee’s already on the go.”

“Do I smell bacon?” Stuart asks, his eyes lighting up as he sits down.

“Yes,” Charlotte chuckles, patting her belly. “This little one needs his protein…”

“Here I was thinking all supermodels were devout vegans,” Stuart laughs.

“Not really practical for two reasons,” Charlotte giggles. “One, as I said, this little one needs his protein, and two… I love eating meat!”

“Cheeky,” I retort, earning a playful shove from the mother-to-be. After finishing breakfast, Stuart and I watch TV with Charlotte for an hour before Mary arrives with Kristina-Leigh, which we take as our cue to leave (but not before we both demand a cuddle from our goddaughter!). Charlotte waves us off as we drive away- fully aware of precisely where we’re going, and why.

My hand actually shakes as I ring the doorbell of Keith’s vast house, and I take a deep breath when the birthday boy himself answers.

“Happy birthday, Keith,” I whisper to the tall man, who simply shakes his head- and from his facial expression, I can tell he hasn’t had a very happy birthday so far.

“I told you both to stay away,” Keith moans, readying himself to slam the door in our faces.

“Wait!” I say, holding the door open. “You said you didn’t want any presents from us or from Charlotte-“

“-And I still don’t!” Keith snaps.

“BUT!” I snap. “You need to understand that you’ve been given the greatest gift of all. A gift Stuart and I can never have- admittedly by choice, but still…” I hand Keith a small, carefully wrapped parcel, forcing it into his hands when he tries to refuse it. Keith cautiously unwraps the package to find a small, plastic model of a foetus inside- the same gift I’d given Charlotte for Christmas, only larger.

“That’s your son, mate,” Stuart whispers. “It’s a 3D printed representation of Charlotte’s last scan.” Keith’s jaw drops as he cradles the tiny model in his hands.

“I, um,” Keith stutters, clearly overwhelmed by emotion. “I think you should go…” Stuart and I silently nod as we leave Keith and his ‘son’ standing on his doorstep, gobsmacked by the gift he’s been given.

“Do you reckon he’ll be okay?” I muse as Stuart drives us back to Charlotte’s house.

“He’s not a kid,” Stuart says bluntly. “He’s got a responsibility now, to HIS kid. Hopefully this’ll shake him out of whatever funk he was in.”

“Hope so…” I sigh. Before long, we arrive back at Charlotte’s house, interrupting Charlotte & Mary’s gossip session to demand yet more cuddles from our goddaughter, before Stuart gets out his laptop out and we finish reviewing the last of the audition tapes from last week, with Mary and Charlotte offering ‘advice’.

“Ooh, she’s pretty,” Mary coos at the video of a flame-haired Scottish girl singing ‘Say What You Want’ by Texas.

“I really like her jeans,” Charlotte concurs.

“Baahhhh,” Kristina-Leigh laughs happily at the video.

“No offence, ladies,” Stuart giggles. “But I think Kristina-Leigh had the most productive comment there!” I can’t help but laugh as Charlotte and Mary both grab cushions from the sofa and hurl them at Stuart. We don’t finish our ‘review’ of the videos until well after 7pm, by which point Mary’s gone home with her husband and the three of us have all eaten dinner.

“I’d better get going,” Stuart says, standing up and giving me a kiss. “Enjoy your night out babe, enjoy your night in with the teenagers, Charlotte!”

“See you Stu,” Charlotte sighs as my boyfriend departs. “I’ll say again: KEEP. HOLD. OF. HIM. With your teeth if need be!”

“Believe me, I intend to!” I giggle. “What time are Nikki and Sarah getting here?”

“My ‘babysitters’?” Charlotte snorts. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do Jamie, but really, you CAN leave me alone in the house and I’ll still be in one piece when you get back…”

“I know, I know,” I sigh. “It’s just- you have to admit, you are kinda, you know, ‘delicate’…” I wince as Charlotte shoots a withering gaze at me.

“’Delicate’?” Charlotte asks. “Really?”

“I’m sure it’s just the pregnancy hormones,” I say, Charlotte preparing to retort when a bleep from her phone distracts her.

“It’s from Nikki,” Charlotte sighs. “Sarah’s sick so they won’t be able to come round…” I sigh- I’d been looking forward to a night out tonight, but some things are more important, and my BFF is DEINITELY one of those things.

“Netflix night it is, then!” I say happily, parking myself next to Charlotte on the sofa.

“NO.” Charlotte says firmly. “You are NOT giving up your night out on my behalf!”

“There’ll be one next week,” I shrug. “Unless, of course, you want to come with me…”

“Oh, no no,” Charlotte chuckles. “Going to be AGES before I can squeeze my feet into a pair of heels again…”

“Then girls night in it is!” I say excitedly. “Besides, you ‘let me out’ for my date last night, and I HAVE got work tomorrow…”

“Only if you’re ABSOLUTELY sure,” Charlotte says.

“What are BFFs for?” I shrug, making Charlotte lean into me, giving me a long, tight hug. We spend the rest of the night on the sofa before heading to bed just after 10:30pm- where I stay awake for at least an hour texting with Stuart! I can’t help but smile contentedly when Stuart says that he’d have come back round immediately to keep me and Charlotte company if he’d known that I wasn’t going out, regardless of how much trouble it’d have got him in with his mother.

My mobile wakes me just after 7:30am on Saturday morning, and immediately as I click off the alarm, I send another text to the transman who I wish was laid next to me in bed right now. After showering and dilating, I select my outfit for the day. For the first time in what feels like ages, I’m going to be doing some actual modelling today, for a high-end online fashion store. It’s certainly a boost to the ego that they paid additional money to the studio (and to me!) to have me work on a Saturday rather than hire another model, so I don’t intend to make a bad impression. After pulling on a plain black bra and thong set and a pair of sheer black tights, I fix my make-up for the day- a full, sophisticated look with light gold eye shadow and deep red lipstick- before pulling on a tight, royal blue top and a flare black miniskirt. I finish my look with my favourite earrings and the necklace Charlotte got me for Christmas, before slipping my feet into a pair of 4” heeled stilettos, grabbing my favourite handbag and heading downstairs, where Charlotte and Nikki are both waiting for me, and both looking girly and gorgeous as well.

“She’s a model and she’s looking HOT!” Charlotte giggles, giving me a quick hug.

“Aren’t I?” I ask smugly, doing a quick twirl for my best friends. “You sure you’ll be alr-“

“Just go!” Charlotte laughs, practically shoving myself and Nikki out the door and into the teenager’s car. Nikki and I both giggle happily as she drives us into the centre of London.

“Hate driving on Saturday mornings,” Nikki moans as we slowly make our way through the busy London traffic.

“You’re doing great,” I say to my protégé, before taking a deep breath. “Nikki… I’m sorry I kinda snapped at you on Thursday…”

“Nah, you’re right,” Nikki sighs. “It’s just- Charlotte’s kinda hard to say ‘no’ to, and not just because she’s my employer…”

“Believe me, I know what you mean!” I laugh. “How’s Sarah? I heard she was unwell…”

“Yeah, she always seems to get sick this time of year,” Nikki sighs. “Heading straight back there after we’re done, so I’ll have to miss the girls’ night tonight, sorry about that…”

“Oh, don’t worry about it at all,” I say. “Some things are more important than gossip!”

“I don’t want to know what those alleged thing are!” Nikki says, making us both giggle girlishly.

“God, now I feel bad about keeping you away from her,” I sigh.

“Oh don’t be, I need the money!” Nikki giggles. “We both feel really bad about letting you and Charlotte down yesterday…”

“You hardly ‘let us down’, especially not Sarah if she’s sick!” I say reassuringly. “Besides, I kinda enjoyed having a night in with Charlotte, was just like the old days…”

“Yeah, but we cost you a girls night out,” Nikki sighs. “Got woken up at 1am again by Katie texting us photos…”

“So glad I leave my phone on silent overnight!” I giggle. “But I really like your friends, even if they are a little eager to please at time!”

“I’m glad,” Nikki says. “Almost here…” Within minutes, as my protégé predicted, we arrive at the studio where I’ll be plying my trade today. After Nikki escorts me to the dressing room that has been specially prepared to meet my needs, with Colombian coffee, my favourite brand of bottled water and chocolate covered Rich Tea biscuits, I inspect the fashionable dresses, skirts, tops and swimsuits I’ll be wearing today. As always, the company is allowing me to help myself to a handful of items to take home- and I already know what I intend to take!

The photoshoot lasts almost three hours, at the end of which I get back into Nikki’s car carrying a healthy clutch of clothes. It’s become a sort-of tradition amongst the Angels that every time we do a fashion photoshoot, we turn over an item of clothing to Nikki- Nikki herself is almost the same size as Krystie or Hannah, whilst Sarah is almost the same size as myself or Charlotte- so I separate out a sexy blue-gold swimsuit as a gift for Sarah.

Nikki drops me home shortly afterwards, before driving herself back to her sick girlfriend. After waving goodbye to my protégé, I head back into my home to be greeted by the beautiful sounds of a baby’s laughter.

“Started girls’ night in without me?” I ask as Mary hands me Kristina-Leigh for a quick cuddle.

“More like ‘girls’ afternoon’!” Mary giggles. “Actually got an invite to a product launch tonight, think Krystie did too… Not as fun without all six of us there!”

“Where was my invite, I wonder?” I ask, mock-offended, as I hand the wriggling infant back to her mother.

“Think these big companies need to learn that it’s either six of us or none of us!” Charlotte laughs, rubbing her expanding belly. “Well, SEVEN of us!” The four of us- Kristina-Leigh included- giggle loudly as the living room quickly descends into gossip about babies, families, boys and parties. Krystie arrives shortly afterwards, followed by Hannah, Viks, Becca, Adeola, Katie and Lauren, and by7:30pm (after Mary’s husband has taken Kristina-Leigh home), Charlotte’s main room- which the ten of us decamped to- is pulsing with excited energy, definitely helped by the presence of TV cameras recording our girls night for season 2 of our reality show.

“You ARE allowed to be in front of the cameras, right?” I ask the still-seventeen year old Lauren, who simply rolls her eyes and laughs.

“Yes,” the short, dark-haired girl giggles. “God, feel like I’m back at school, having to get permission slips from my parents…”

“Thank god I don’t need one anymore,” Katie giggles, giving her BFF a quick hug. “God knows my parents would NEVER have approved of this…”

“Well just stay away from the booze until you actually turn eighteen!” I giggle, before sighing as Stuart’s younger sister and her dark-skinned BFF make a beeline straight towards me.

“So tell us!” Becca demands.

“Yeah, you have to have SOME idea, right?” Adeola insists.

“You’ll see for yourself at the second auditions next week!” I laugh. “You’ve waited long enough for this band, you can wait a little longer, right?”

“Can’t you at least say how many second auditionees there are?” Adeola asks. “Are they pretty? Are they talented?”

“Wouldn’t have invited them back for a second audition if they weren’t!” I giggle. “I think Krystie’s got a list of names on her phone if you’re really interested…” I grin evilly as the two young women leave me without another word, immediately seeking out Krystie and subjecting her to the same level of interrogation. Seeking some respite from the constant interruptions- and the cameras- I head into the kitchen, where I find Charlotte reaching into a cupboard for some wine glasses.

“God’s sake, Charlie!” I sigh, getting the glassware out of the cupboard for the heavily pregnant woman.

“God’s sake, Jamie!” Charlotte mirrors. “I can get a bloody glass out of a cupboard…”

“Yes, but I can do it faster and won’t coil my back up like a snake doing so!” I laugh, making my BFF giggle.

“Jamie…” Charlotte whispers, her face falling. “You never did tell me how Keith took his gift. I’m assuming he accepted it, given that you didn’t bring it home…”

“He seemed almost shell-shocked,” I say. “It’s like, this was the first time he actually saw the baby AS a baby… Whilst it’s inside you, he can just see it as a lump in your belly rather than a person… Which could’ve been accomplished if he’d ever bothered to go to any scans with you too…”

“And it’s not like I didn’t ask him,” Charlotte sighs, placing the wine glasses on a tray. “Come on, best get back to the party before Becca and Addie steal ALL the camera time!” I giggle as I follow my BFF back into the party, laughing harder as I see Krystie- who, as predicted, is being aggressively questioned by Becca and Adeola- flick a sly middle finger in my direction. Within fifteen minutes, Charlotte has crashed on a sofa with Mary- inevitably discussing baby matters- whilst I’m deep in a gossip session with Hannah and Viks about the latter girl’s upcoming wedding, when the doorbell suddenly rings, surprising everyone in the room.

“Did someone order pizza?” Charlotte asks. “I thought I’d laid on enough food for everyone?” I follow my BFF as she heads to the front door, and the two of us simultaneously gasp when she opens the door to reveal the smiling face of the father of her unborn child.

“Hi Charlotte,” Keith whispers nervously. “Hi Jamie… I thought wanted to thank you for my birthday present- it’s probably the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever been given. Um, thank you.” My heart flutters as Keith leans in and gives Charlotte a light kiss on her cheek. Even as recently as a few months ago, this action would have made me green with envy, but now I’m almost excited at seeing the two parents-to-be act in such a friendly manner toward each other.

“It was actually Jamie’s idea,” Charlotte confesses. “She got me something similar for Christmas…” Keith smiles, before approaching me and giving me a light kiss on my cheek that makes my heart beat faster. I’d forgotten how amazing the man smelled…

“Thanks,” Keith says. “I, um, I should go, I just wanted to say thanks…”

“Do you want to come in for a drink?” Charlotte asks. “I’ve opened a bottle of wine, obviously I’m not going to drink it.”

“Best not,” Keith laughs, miming a steering wheel.

“You can share my diet coke then!” Charlotte giggles, making her former lover smile and roll his eyes.

“I guess one glass won’t hurt,” Keith says. “Of the diet coke, I mean.” I smile as I follow my two friends into the main room, where the jaws of the other eight women simultaneously drop as they see Keith walk in side-by-side with Charlotte.

“Oh, Jamie,” Keith says. “My brother’s girlfriend asked me to ask you if she passed her first audition for the band.” I scream in mock-frustration as everyone has a laugh at my expense, but I really don’t mind- the sight of Keith back in this house, which was his home for a good amount of time, is almost like something out of a dream.

The camera crew depart shortly after 11pm, followed by the rest of the girls, but Keith sticks around, chatting with Charlotte in her living room even after I head to bed. I quickly fall asleep after dilating and sending a goodnight text message to Stuart, waking up the following morning just after 9am. After showering and applying a very light layer of make-up (not even bothering with any lipstick), I dress in a comfortable long-sleeved black bodysuit, a pair of thick black tights and a knee-length denim skirt, before heading downstairs to the kitchen- where I gasp with shock as I see Keith sat at the breakfast table, eating his bacon and eggs as though he’d lived here all his life.

“Hey Jay!” Charlotte squeaks happily. “LOVE the bodysuit! Coffee’s already brewed, help yourself to a cup!”

“Thanks,” I say, my face wrinkled with confusion. “Umm, Keith, did- did you-“

“Slept in my son’s room,” Keith says between mouthfuls of his breakfast. “Heh, that’s gonna take some getting used to, ‘my son’s room’…”

“Can I speak to you for a sec?” I say to my BFF, grabbing her by the arm and leading her into the relative privacy of the living room.

“What’s up?” Charlotte asks innocently.

“You- you do know that this isn’t the two of you getting back together, right?” I ask.

“Yes,” Charlotte sighs. “He made that VERY clear last night… But he also wants to actually be a dad, and I can’t deny him that, right? I mean, better late than never…”

“Just- just be careful, okay?” I say. “Don’t want to see you hurt again, especially in your current condition, and ESPECIALLY not after the kid’s born.”

“I’m not going to fling myself at him!” Charlotte laughs. “You worry too much…” I sigh and nod as Charlotte returns to the kitchen, where- despite her protests- she acts VERY familiarly with Keith. After breakfast, I head back upstairs and change my comparatively slouchy skirt and bodysuit for a more chic light blue dress, before applying a full face of make-up. Satisfied with my sexier look, I grab my phone and immediately dial the first number on my speed dial.

“Hey you!” I say to my boyfriend. “Hope I didn’t wake you…”

“Nah, I’ve been up a while,” Stuart says.

“And you DIDN’T text me?” I pout, making Stuart giggle.

“Sorry, sorry,” Stu laughs. “I’m just setting off now, I should be there in about 25 minutes.”

“Change of plans,” I say. “We’re going to my parents’ today rather than staying at home.”

“Okay,” Stu says. “I’ll wear an actual shirt, then…”

“Good boy,” I giggle. “See you in a bit!”

“See you,” Stuart says. “Love you!”

“Love you too!” I say. Less than half an hour later, as promised, Stuart pulls into our driveway, and I give him a long, deep, LONG kiss as I get into the passenger seat of his car.

“God, I missed you…” I sigh as we drive away.

“I missed you too,” Stuart says with an air of confusion in his voice. “Jamie, that car next to your Alfa… Was- was that-“

“Keith’s?” I ask. “Yep!”

“So does that- does that mean the gift actually worked?” Stuart asks.

“You sound surprised!” I tease.

“More like astonished,” Stuart laughs. “Are he and Charlotte…?”

“No,” I say firmly. “At least… Not for now. This time last week, they couldn’t even be in the same room as each other, now they’re having breakfast together…”

“Breakfast!?” Stuart shouts. “So he spent the night?”

“In the nursery,” I say. “That’s what Keith says, anyway.”

“Well- as long as they’re both happy,” Stuart sighs. We spend the rest of the day at my parents’ house- they’re obviously surprised, but pleased to see the two of us arrive, and listen intently as we fill them in on what’s been happening with our lives. After a large lunch and a (thankfully) light dinner, Stuart and I hop back in his car and head back to Charlotte’s house, where- much to the surprise of both of us- Keith’s car is still parked outside.

“Hello?” I ask as I open the front door. “Charlotte? Keith?”

“Upstairs!” Charlotte shouts. After exchanging a concerned glance with Stuart, the two of us head up the stairs, following the sound of hard work to its source in the nursery, where- as was the case with Mikey a few days earlier- Charlotte is supervising Keith as he hangs wallpaper (with a toy car theme) on one of the walls.

“Keith junior’s going to grow up to be the next Lewis Hamilton!” Keith boasts as he smoothes the wallpaper into place.

“O-kay,” I say, stepping over the decorating materials littering the floor. “Has he been here all day?”

“Yes ‘he’ has,” Keith laughs. “Alright mate?”

“Hi Keith,” Stuart says, taken aback by Keith’s sudden friendly attitude. “Um, d’you need a hand or anything?”

“Nah mate, just about done,” Keith says, and a couple of minutes later he steps back to admire his handiwork.

“Perfect,” Charlotte giggles, sighing happily as Keith gives her a quick hug. Keith departs a short while afterward, but as Charlotte bids him farewell, there’s a wide, happy smile on her face.

“Charlie,” I whisper. “Are- are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Charlotte asks.

“Umm, because you just spent a day with your ex, with whom you had a VERY messy break-up?” I retort.

“We talked through it,” Charlotte explains. “Obviously I assumed full responsibility for it- which believe me wasn’t easy- and we’ve both agreed to act like adults around each other for the sake of this little one. Fingers crossed, I think Keith’s actually looking forward to being a dad!”

“Only if you’re absolutely sure,” Stuart says, offering Charlotte a small pout of ice cream which she refuses.

“Trust me, I’ll be fine,” Charlotte says, rubbing her belly. “WE’LL be fine!” I giggle happily along with my BFF, but inside, I’m still worried- for all her protests, there has got to be a part of Charlotte’s mind that thinks she could still get back together with Keith. Hell, there’s a part of MY mind that thinks that, and as I relax in bed with Stuart- after a fairly lengthy love-making session- I can tell he’s uneasy as well.

“Do you REALLY think they’ll be fine?” I ask.

“Charlotte and Keith?” Stuart whispers as he gets his breath back. “Wish I could say. I dunno… I don’t think Keith would risk getting hurt again, then again I really don’t believe Charlotte would ever cheat again and risk the same…”

“I know she wouldn’t,” I say confidently. “This whole experience- losing Keith, becoming a mother… She’s changed, she’s matured. She’s going to be a great mother, and I really do believe he’ll be a great father, too.”

“They will,” Stuart says, giving me a tight hug. “Jamie- and stop me if you think this is a bit too soon, but…”

“Go on,” I say softly.

“…Have you ever thought about becoming a parent?” Stuart asks, and I sigh heavily.

“I’ve only just become a WOMAN,” I mumble. “Bit soon to be thinking about becoming a mother…”

“I know what you mean,” Stuart sighs. “But with Charlotte and Emma both expecting… I just, you know, I HAD the opportunity to know what that was like, to feel a life growing within me, and I gave it away… Probably the only thing I regret about transitioning, if I’m honest, but it IS still a regret…” I cuddle Stuart tight as he bares his soul to me in a very un-masculine way.

“Charlotte actually offered to pay for me to have some sperm frozen,” I confess. “I turned it down, figured I’d never need it… REALLY regretting that now.”

“Same here, dad offered to freeze some of my eggs, and I said no…” Stuart sighs. “Though of course, if we did conceive a child, we’d need somewhere to put it…” I giggle as Stuart rubs his sexy abdomen.

“Medical science needs to get a move on, and fast!” I laugh as I also rub Stuart’s belly. “Get some sleep, sexy!” Stuart chuckles as we share one more kiss, before quickly falling asleep, and I can’t help but feel that things are finally getting better, a feeling enhanced the following morning when I see Keith drive Charlotte home after our traditional morning ballet lesson. Keith junior may not have parents that love each other anymore, but I’m confident that he’ll have parents that adore HIM, and that’s all that matters.

And yet, Stuart’s words stick in my mind. When I began my transition, I voluntarily gave up the chance to sire children of my own, but as more and more of my friends- and, assuming you count Stuart’s older sister, family- fall pregnant, as the ‘Next Generation’ swells in numbers, I find myself increasingly envious of their new lives, their new families… I'm even envious of Stuart's increasingly-close relationship with my own family, even though I know that should make me happier than anything.

If I marry Stuart, I could always adopt, of course- and he’d be an AMAZING father, as he demonstrates all the time with Kristina-Leigh. Specialist hormones I could take mean I’d even get the opportunity to breast-feed, and I know my parents would take to grandparenthood like ducks to water, but it wouldn’t be the same, not really.

And it’s not like I haven’t got the rest of my life to become a mother- I am only 23 years old, Stuart’s only 24… There should be no rush, but the same could be said about my SRS, or rushing into a serious relationship with Stuart… Or even being a woman full stop. All of those things have made my life infinitely better- why should I settle for anything less?