Nathan had only a few minutes to get dressed before heading out to meet the bus. But he was still standing in his room with nothing on but a bathrobe. His closet and dresser were wide open, and there was absolutely nothing in them that Nathan wanted to wear. Everything he owned was too tight and too revealing.

Brushing the wet hair from his face, Nathan shuffled though his underwear drawer to look for a pair of panties that wouldn’t be utterly embarrassing to wear. His mother had left early, so he wouldn’t be able to ask her to schedule a haircut until he got home.

Nathan wanted to wear pants, but his capris fit a little more comfortably. He chose plain white socks and sneakers, and zipped his jacket all the way up to cover up his tee shirt. In the mirror, he looked almost halfway decent. But even though he had tied his hair back, Nathan still squirmed at his own image—he could barely recognize himself, and he wasn’t sure why.

Nathan kept his head down on the bus, determined not to let anyone talk to him. At school, he moved quickly to his locker and grabbed his things, slamming the door shut as soon as he was done. When he turned to head to class, though, Gavin was standing right there waiting for him.

“Oh, hey Nat.”

Nathan winced at the sound of his own name. He didn’t know why.

“So,” Gavin began, “I was thinking about what you said, about—”

“Gavin I have to go,” Nathan interrupted, scooting by him without even waiting for a response.

“Oh… okay!” Gavin called after him, “I’ll talk to you later then.”

Nathan did his best to ignore the disappointment in his friend’s voice.

Throughout the morning, Nathan kept his focus on his work, trying to block out the rest of the world. He didn’t raise his hand and barely spoke a word. Even the sound of his own voice was grating for some reason, like it belonged to someone else.

When lunch came, Nathan didn’t want to sit with his friends. He wanted to go over and sit with Gavin, but he didn’t want to talk to Gavin. He ended up sitting in a table off in the corner of the cafeteria, alone where nobody could disturb him.

Emily was in his next class. Nathan didn’t want her asking him where he was during lunch, so he sat further away from her than usual; and just for good measure, he refused to look her way at all during class. But it didn’t help. He could feel her eyes boring into him from across the room.

He should have just stayed home.

“So you feeling better?” Julia asked.

“Yeah, a bit,” Nathan said, smiling. He’d let his hair down, and he had taken off his jacket, but he still didn’t feel entirely comfortable with what he was wearing. “I guess it was just a bug.”

“I’m glad you’re getting over it,” Emily replied, “I just wish you’d let us know what was going on.”

“Sorry, guys,” Nathan said, “I guess I just wasn’t thinking straight.”

Nathan had never noticed how Emily’s yellow bangs fell in front of her eyes. When it annoyed her, she simply blew it away with a gust of breath instead of reaching up and brushing it away herself. The only time she directly touched her hair was when she pushed it behind her ear with a single manicured finger. Nathan imagined himself leaning in, gently moving a lock of her blond hair behind her ear for her, and letting his finger brush her cheek gently as he pulled away…

Nathan’s ears started burning as he realized what he was thinking. He was daydreaming about having a romantic moment with his best friend.

He looked away from Emily. He didn’t want her to know what he had been thinking. And he didn’t want to risk it happening again when he looked at her.

Amber was looking right at Nathan. He wasn’t blushing, was he? He really hoped that he wasn’t blushing.

But all Amber said was, “If you were sick, you really should have just stayed home.”

“Yeah, I realized that sometime around third period,” Nathan replied, grateful for a change of topic.

Still, Amber could have been a little nicer about it.

Nathan glanced back at Emily, who seemed undisturbed by his behavior. And Nathan wasn’t feeling the same way he was a moment ago. Whatever that had been, it was gone now.

Of course, it did serve to remind him that he hadn’t talked to Gavin since Monday morning. Not because Nathan was avoiding him; Gavin just hadn’t approaching him again, and the week was half over now. Nathan felt a little disheartened, but he knew that it was his fault for pushing Gavin away. He just… wasn’t sure how he felt about Gavin right now. As much as he wanted to apologize, maybe them spending time together was a mistake.

The idea made Nathan feel even worse about himself. He really enjoyed that trip to the movies, and having Gavin over for tutoring, but he simply wasn’t feeling the same way he did during those times anymore. Could he really have stopped liking Gavin over just a few weeks?

The question was troubling.

Thursdays were always the worst. It was as if the weekend simply refused to hurry up and get there. But as Nat finished the last question of his history homework, he felt such a sudden sense of freedom well up inside of him. We was done with school for the night, at least.

And just two more years and three months before I’m done with high school altogether, he thought.

Nat’s phone buzzed; someone was texting him. It was probably Emily, Nat decided. But when he looked, it was Gavin’s name on the display.

His heart skipped a beat and he opened the message.

Hey there Nat, it read, You feeling better? I didn’t know if after Monday you wanted some time to yourself. I still want to see you on Saturday if you’re up to it. Just let me know if everything’s alright, k?

Nat smiled, and he typed in a reply.

Everything’s ok. Just been under the weather. Sorry for brushing you off. Looking forward to Saturday. Talk to you tomorrow.

Nat had always known just how sweet Gavin could be. But it was something else entirely to have physical proof. He read Gavin’s message a dozen more times, pretending that he could hear Gavin’s voice reading it out loud to him.

The phone buzzed again with Gavin’s reply.

That’s good :) I hope your feeling better. Can’t wait to see you. Have a good night.

Nat put his phone away. It was as if, all of a sudden, a great weight had fallen from his shoulders. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed having Gavin’s voice in his life. Maybe he’d just been overreacting. Honestly, Nat couldn’t even remember what it was that had made him so upset in the first place. Something about bad grades in middle school? Yeah, that was something worth getting so worked up over.

Maybe the past was better left where it was.

There was a knocking at the door. It was his mother.

“Honey, would you do me a favor and fold the laundry? I have to run out to the pharmacy before it closes to pick up your brother’s medicine.”

“Sure, mom,” Nat said, following her out the room,

The laundry room was small, and it was easy for clothes to slide down behind the washer and dryer and get lost forever. But Nat was careful. The only mistake he made became apparent when he grabbed the pile of what was supposed to be his own clothes and noticed that he’d put his brother’s boxers on the pile.

Nat grabbed the boxers, intending to put them back on his brother’s pile, but he hesitated. He unfolded one pair and held them up. It seemed silly, wearing what was essentially a second pair of shorts underneath your clothes. Nat could hardly imagine how that must feel. His own pants were far too tight and his shorts far too short to wear something like this.

He held the boxers up to his waist. Tyler was two years younger than him, but he wasn’t that much smaller than Nat was. And yet… these boxers looked like they were wider than Nat’s pants were. He checked the tag. It said they were a medium. Maybe Tyler just liked them loose or something.

Nat took a moment to scrub that mental image from his brain.

It was a clean pair, though. They’d just come out of the dryer. If Nat hid them under his pile of clothes and brought them back to his room, nobody would know. Tyler wouldn’t realize that he was missing one pair of boxers. And if he did he’d assume they fell behind the dryer. Nat could try them on and be done before anybody—

Nat dropped the boxers. No, he couldn’t do that. They were his brother’s, and Nat was a… a… wasn’t like his brother. It wouldn’t be right to go around trying on the wrong kind of clothes. Not for Nat anyway.

The thought of Tyler sneaking into Nat’s room and grabbing a pair of panties from the dresser slipped its way into Nat’s mind. He shuddered at the idea and threw his brother’s boxers back onto the rest of Tyler’s clothes.

But he gave the pile an extra-long look before leaving the room.

Nat was grateful to have a hairdryer. There was a lot in his life that he could do without (or so he told himself, anyway), but he was so glad to have a hairdryer. It made mornings so much easier. There was nothing worse than having wet hair soaking into the back of your shirt as you waited for it to dry.

Nat still had to get dressed, but he took a moment to stop and look at his hair in the bathroom mirror. He pushed it around, testing how it would look behind the ear and over the ear. He pulled it up into a mock ponytail, paying attention to how it changed the way his face looked. He’d have to decide by tomorrow if he wanted to do anything special with it or not.

But before Saturday there was a whole day of school still to get through. Nat left the bathroom and returned to his bedroom, where his outfit lay waiting on his bed. He checked the clock.

Crap, I’m late, he realized. Quickly he through one his panties and squeezed into his pants. As he pulled his shirt on, he glanced out the window. The bus was already pulling up to the bus stop. There wasn’t time to put on his shoes. Nat grabbed his flip flops from the closet and threw his jacket over his shoulder.

He made it to the bus with moments to spare and plopped down into his seat with a sigh of relief. The girl next to Nat asked him a question, and as he answered he felt his phone buzzing.

It was his mother. She’d sent him a text.

Hi honey. How about after I get home from work today we go out to that salon and get a mani-pedi for your date tomorrow? I think you’d really enjoy it. It’s very relaxing.

Nat’s stomach did a summersault. Mani-pedi? The thought of some stranger touching Nat’s hands and feet, giving them a gentle massage, painting his nails… actually, it did sound kind of relaxing. Maybe he’d give it a try. Just this once. And no nail polish. Or maybe just clear nail polish. Of course, purple was his favorite color…