Goddess of the Arts 01 - Born Again

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Goddess of the Arts
by
Stardraigh

Born Again

~|O|~

Chapter 1

~-~

Dull burning pain, in my stomach, or where I thought my stomach was. That’s how I always woke now. The pain there always overshadowed other sources elsewhere in my body.

I didn’t want to wake up. Not that my body gives me a choice.

Maybe there was a hangover. Not that I could tell, it was drowned out by my stomach alone.

Opening my eyes I found myself in the cabin, laying on a hammock. There was a gentle sway as my boat floated upon the ocean.

My name is Josephus Carter, I’m thirty-two, dying of cancer, and six months ago I was told I had less than a year to live.

I don’t remember how I got here. By here, I mean the hammock. I know exactly how I ended up alone on a boat in the middle of the pacific. Parsing my memories, the last thing I could think of was another bottle of vodka or some clear liquor. It was kind of hazy after that. However much I’d had, it was enough to allow me some sleep through the pain.

Probably didn’t last long. The pain never allowed that. In the last eight months, I’d been lucky to get more than three hours of sleep at any given time unless I was doped up on whatever horse tranquilizers the docs would give me. Not that they let me have them. All they’d let me have for my pain was the low end stuff. Ibuprofen and vicodin. None of it worked.

Against the best wishes of everyone, I’d tried other less legal means of pain relief. What I could get, didn’t really help either, and it was hard to get anyway. The only thing that truly worked was the alcohol. That was it. I’d get blackout drunk. The pain was still there, but I didn’t care.

Now that I’m awake, time to start again. I reached up and flipped the light switch, bringing illumination to the sleeping cabin. I rolled over in my hammock, looking for a bottle of something, anything to start.

Nothing but empty bottles lay jumbled underneath and around my hammock on top of a few rank smelling pools of vomit, urine, rotting food, and spilled alcohol.

God what a mess. Not the floor. Me.

I sat up in the hammock.

My balance hadn’t gone yet. Not that I get sea-sick.

I only had one shoe on. Don’t even know when I put them on, or put one on, or lost the second one if I had put both on. Didn’t matter. I got out of the hammock, not caring what I stepped in. Even if there was broken glass, I probably wouldn’t realize it.

Stumbling my way to the hold, i entered. Jackpot. I still had alcohol left. Lots of it. Other than some food and the gas I put into the boat, the only other thing than myself was a moving van a quarter full of alcohol to last me, hopefully until I died. Still had over half of it left. I think I made the store clerks day when I bought it all. At least someone felt good.

I grabbed a six-pack, and four bottles of something, not caring what any of them really were.

Leaving the hold, I went up top. Before exiting, I turned on the small music player I had there. It was loud enough I could hear it from where I’d sit just outside the door. It used a usb drive to hold all the music and I vaguely remember just putting as much as would fit. A couple thousand songs. The first song was some unknown rock piece from the nineties or something. Probably an unpopular song that I had only because I liked the popular song on the album.

The door was already open. Night time. Don’t even know if I had any sun screen left. Not that it mattered. It wasn't skin cancer I had, and at this point getting it wouldn't matter.

I sat down on the deck and stared up into the starry night sky.

Nice. No light pollution and the moon wasn’t up. No clouds above to mask the night sky. Beautiful. Janice would have loved the view.

I rubbed my engagement ring. Would you believe I was engaged before the cancer? My fiance, one Janice Esterhall. She was a sweet country girl from North Dakota if there ever was one. We'd met in college six years ago, five years ago and became inseparable till now.

What I'd become, I couldn't do this too her, or the rest of my family. Even while dying I had my pride. She refused to accept me breaking off the engagement trying to stay with me till the end. I didn't give them a choice taking this boat of mine and sailing to nowhere. The middle of it to be specific.

I opened the first bottle and took a swig. Fruity. I looked at the bottle. Some cheap fruit wine. It’ll do. Maybe I’d destroy my liver first and die from that. It was mostly destroyed anyway at this point between the medicine and cancer.

The first bottle didn’t last long. When done I tossed it over the side of the ship.

Pulled a bottle from the six pack and started on that.

The stereo started pumping out Sinatra’s fly me to the moon.

How ridiculous.

What would it be like to fly to the moon and play among the stars? I don’t think I’ll ever know since I'm dying.

In a fit of cynical silliness, I proffered my drink to the unobtainable glittering heavens above.

“To the unknown. May we never find it all for that would be really boring and stuff.” I downed the rest of the bottle and threw it over the side.

Bunch of bullshit.

I started on another drink and just listened to the music while looking at the sky. Most of the songs were trash and even the ones I know I enjoyed listening to, seemed hollow.

When all I had was one bottle left and the pain was across the room but within yelling distance, I noticed a strange sight in the sky. A hazy green band of light stretched across the sky over me. I’d been looking up most of the night but I think it just peeked into view having been obstructed by the boat's cabin behind me. It looked somewhat like an aurora.

~|O|~

Chapter 2

~-~

Strange, I was somewhere in the middle of the pacific. South of Hawaii, or at least I should be unless I fucked up and went north, but it's not cold. Quite warm. No way should I be seeing an aurora this far south.

Well, it’s another thing to cross off my list that I never really cared about. Bucket lists are for fools. Janice would have liked this though.

At least it was pretty. Whatever reason it was this far south, who cares. I worked on the last bottle and had it finished in no time.

Time for the bathroom. I stood up and stumbled to the side of the ship. It’s easier to pee off the side into the ocean, the world's biggest toilet.

I got my shorts after fumbling around with a zipper. The waves seemed a bit more pronounced and I had to hold onto the rail. At least this time I’d gotten my penis out in time rather than pissing myself. I should probably ditch the shorts anyway. They were kind of nasty, stained with all sorts of things. Done, I let my shorts and underwear fall to the deck and just kicked them overboard. With them went my one remaining shoe.

Naked. Why not. Who cared. I had no one here with me to be immodest with. Only god could look down and judge me, and I didn’t believe in god, so there. Death holds no composure so why bother.

Time to go get more alcohol

It was then I noticed opposite the aurora at the far side of the seeable horizon, another aurora stretched across the horizon.

Weird.

Maybe I didn’t understand how they worked.

Seeing the second aurora didn't stop me. I went below deck. The disgusting smells from my cabin didn’t even phase me. It was probably worse than I could tell.

I retrieved more alcohol from the hold and returned to the deck. The aurora had moved. It still stretched from above directly to was was probably north, stretching across the horizon, but it wasn’t just overhead. It was as if it had passed.

Same with the other aurora opposite it. It’d gotten closer. If I had to guess, they'd soon meet.

The waves were gotten stronger. Clouds were moving across the aurora. Moving fast. I looked in the direction they came from. A large section of the aurora was blotted out. small bits of blue-ish white flashed on the horizon. A storm was rolling in.

For the last two weeks, the weather was nice. Maybe this storm would do me in.

This would be a show worth watching. A hammock I’d set up on deck was still there. I went to the hold again and got more alcohol just in case. Well beyond tipsy at this point. The pain drowned out. I staggered with the increase in waves and grabbed some more.

Maybe this would be enough. Maybe I’d blackout and that’d be the end of it. The storm would capsize the boat. I’d drown. Suicide by default because I’d given up. I’d win. Cancer would lose.

I settled in on the hammock with my alcohol. A total of three six packs and nine bottles of other stuff. The waves were definitely getting stronger.

Fuck you cancer, you’re not going to win.

I had a great job. I had friends. I was gonna get married to Janice, but you had to come along. Fuck you. You thought you could take me. You thought being aggressive as the doctors labeled it, you could out do their efforts. You cost me part of my intestinal tract and a bit of my stomach, and one kidney. But that wasn’t enough. You’re still in my stomach, and my brain, and even my bones now. Fuck you.

At the edge of the storm, bolts of lightning danced between heaven and earth. The wind had picked up and the boat was swaying.

I was downing alcohol as fast as I could stomach it which wasn’t much.

Fuck you cancer.

The wave action became violent. Other than the edge of the storm stretching out above me, the aurora filled the rest of the sky. Rain pelted down meaningless to already being soaked by the waves that had already started to break over the side. A few bottles had fallen away, but I held onto the rest.

Fuck you cancer. you won’t kill me. I won’t let you.

Lightning probably only miles away rang their peals of thunder. The waves had turned stronger, slamming the boat, tossing it about. water, everywhere, below the boat, on the deck, waves on each side, rain.

Fuck you cancer.

The hammock broke, slamming me into the deck, the alcohol scattering away. A wave came over the deck and pushed me to the railing, knocking the air out of me. I curled up reflexively sucking air and a bit of water back in.

“Fuck you cancer,” I choked out.

Lightning played all around me. The boat had had enough of me and gave me to the sea.

Time froze giving me a chance to see.

Three lightning bolts had froze mid race to the water. The boat had capsized. Already it had turned over and had started to sink.

I was going to win. I was going to beat cancer, but time had froze.

The color changed, decaying, crumbling into a flat grey, my body felt the same. All my senses went. Maybe the color wasn’t breaking. Maybe it was just me, dying. I was winning. Cancer was losing.

Time unfroze, my senses returned. I slammed into the water. The darkness swallowed me. I relaxed, letting the air out of my lungs. Any second now, I’d instinctively take the water into my lungs, struggling to breath.

That moment came. Instinctively I grasped at my throat and kicked out to push up out of the water. My initial self protection was reigned in and squashed. I curled up in a ball, using the last of my strength to resist the urge to live and give into the cancer.

I was going to win. Cancer was going to lose. Fuck you cancer.

A thing pushed me, impacted my right side, battering me through the water. My self-preservation won out over my will to die. I struggled against myself, my body betraying my mind. The cancer if it could, was probably laughing at how much a fool I was. I was pressed upon again, from underneath, then from above. Solid closed about, held me, compressing down upon me. Slimy. The pressure increased. Water was forced out of my lungs as whatever it was compressed down and around my body. Slimy, hot , moist, rank air filled my lungs. Raggedly my breaths came. I couldn’t move, stuck in whatever held me. Wherever whatever darkness I was held in, I was helpless. The pain was back screaming right next to me. The alcohol couldn’t have left me so soon.

Am I dead? Is this the afterlife, a non-existence of some sort. I could think. I could still feel, there was air. Pain. My body, I could wiggle a little bit but otherwise remained stuck in this dark prison.

Tired, I was weak. Death maybe? Had I won, cheated the cancer, or was I somehow still alive. The pain was there. Was I laughing, or trying to. Was this a hallucination? Was it the cancer that laughed. Sound. a long sad reverberating horn.

I think I lost consciousness.

No. There's still the pain

The sound of water slapped by something large. Water spraying up and falling down.

The warm slimy thing moved around me, under me.

Bright Light.

Cold water, wet, silence.

The horn again, long undulating, water spray falling on me.

I was floating in the water.

My body was free of whatever held it. I could move. My limbs weak. I reached up to clear my eyes of the gunk on it. The water had washed some of it away, but I still had some sort of slime on me.

My vision clear. Eyes opened.

The bright blue sky wide open over me. Sun to the side shining bright, no cloud in sight.

The water spray again, the horn again. I looked over. A large body moved through the water. The water sprayed up again.

A whale.

Did a whale swallow me and spit me out?

Am I still alive?

A tail came up and slapped against the water, sending me away. I no longer floated and began sinking from the force. My body weak. I could do nothing.

I didn’t know what to think. Was I saved only to die again. So long as the cancer didn’t win, I was fine. That would be nice.

~|O|~

Chapter 3

~-~

Something nudged me from underneath. Instinctively I held my breath, but it wouldn’t be long. I jerked around ineffectual. A number of turtles. Very large turtles were there. One brushed by me, knocking me about, then another, and then a third came up in a way that it pushed me up with it as it broke the surface and swam along.

I was saved. Not from the cancer, if I was alive. The pain was all throughout my body. A leg and foot seemed caught in front by it’s head and a flipper I was dragged along with it. The turtle never went back down. All it had to do was take me below the surface, keep me there, so I’d drown. It denied me death as it traveled along the surface keeping me in the air. Was this some trick. Was this purgatory or a limbo of sorts, where I was doomed to be taunted.

I asked the turtles. I yelled with what breath I could muster, I talked, I begged for them to give me up, but they did not. I was caught with them on their journey.

The sun hung overhead baking me. I was going to dehydrate anyway. Maybe I’d still die. Maybe I was already dead, and maybe by some strange twist of fate, I was alive and maybe the cancer was going to win.

Pain came from all over my body, with the sunburn I was getting and the dehydration setting in compounded it.

In and out of consciousness I travelled.

A bird cry, then another. I’d glance up when conscious. White wings above. The water moved about, but they were up there when they weren’t there before. Were these really birds? If they were, I was close to land.

If they weren’t, were they angels or some other creature to taunt me or take me somewhere.

They circled up there, never coming down. I tried saying hello to ask them what they wanted, but my voice by now was too parched for the effort. It hurt just to open my mouth from how dry and cracked my lips were. The turtle still carried me, purposely ignoring or just ignorant of my will.

A few more times, in and out of consciousness I went.

Then I was out of the water. Still on the turtle. Being jerked forward. Birds still floated about lazily in the sky. A palm tree arched overhead. The jerking stopped. Shade.

What?

I’m still aware. Pain. Pain everywhere. Two birds land on my chest. A small cormorant. I know this because it’s my mother's favorite bird. It’s closer. A larger pelican stood behind it. both seemed to stare at me, watching, judging.

This went on for I don’t know how long. Finally the pelican stretched out its wings, looked up and cawed. It did this eight more times before stopping.

Loss of consciousness again.

A yell.

“Over here. Over here. I told you I wasn’t lying. See Noemi? See? I told you a man rode on Misarulu and upon him stood Molamione and Calinvar.” A young girl's voice said.

I didn’t have strength to turn my head. The cormorant squawked and looked to my right. A gentle touch on my wrist. The birds did not shy away.

“The man's alive. Hurry Ausra. Go get Arcine and Mina and be quick about it. He’s at the door of Lace Chenos and will soon enter.”

A face moved over mine to where I could see it. An angel, young, olive skin tone, her hair kept back in a ponytail, looked down upon me.

“The goddesses must want you alive to deliver me here to you. I will do whatever I can to help.”

“Noemi,” Called out a voice.

This Noemi looked away. “Arcine, Mina, Ausra, this man was sent here by the gods to us. We must help him. We need a stretcher to take him to my house.”

“What do we make a stretcher from? We have no rope or cloth."

“Your fishing spears, and our skirts will work fine.”

“What? you must be…”

“Don’t dawdle girls. You heard me. Your spears and skirts. We need to get him to my house in the city right away.”

“Oh sure.” Whoever it was, this Arcine or mina, didn’t sound happy.

Both the Cormorant and Pelican squawked and flew off as these women took up position on around the turtle and I. One of them unhooked my leg from where it was caught, eliciting a sharp pain from all over my lower leg as it was disturbed. Surprising it was more than the continual pain I was used too from the cancer.

“Ready?”

The other girls gave their affirmative.

“Go”

Four sets of arms lifted me off the turtle’s back. The pain, the pain increased even beyond that of my leg.

I could see all four angels as they set me down onto their ad hoc stretcher. The pain didn’t stop. I did when my consciousness abandoned me.

~|O|~

Chapter 4

~-~

A harsh voice sounded out, letting me know I was conscious, “Stop Noemi. You know men aren’t allowed in the city.”

“This man is in need of my care Puabi.”

“You can treat him here.”

“No. He’s at the door of Lace Chenos. I need him at my house Puabi.”

“I don’t care Noemi. Rules are rules. Put the stretcher down. I will see how bad he is for myself.”

Those who carried me paused. No one moved.

"I said, put the man down."

This time the makeshift stretcher and I were set to the ground. I managed a moan as my body came to rest.

A woman stood over me, dressed archaically in a simple tunic with a belt at her waist. She may have looked like an angel, but she didn’t sound like one.

“I wouldn’t say he’s at Lace Chenos’ Door, he’s half way through it. We should help him along his way.”

The woman pulled a dagger from her belt, then knelt down. One of her hands pulled at my chin, tilting my head back. It was painful. Despite that I smiled, and I think I managed another fuck you to the cancer.

“See, he welcomes death Noemi. I will help him reach the all embracing arms of Lace Chenos.” The point of the blade pressed into my neck.

“Hold your hand Puabi, do not suppose to know what the gods want in this matter, “ A stern voice cried out.

Puabi removed the knife and stood up. “My queen, I only meant to help put him out of his misery. He is in pain and distress and not long for the world.”

This queen commanded. “Noemi, tell me, was he carried on the back of Misarulu, and both Calinvar and Molamione stood on him?”

“This is true my queen. How did you know this?”

“And these four lovebirds, have they been with him the whole time.

“Yes. They have not left him at all since he passed into our care. They show no fear of us and have stayed at his side.

Four lovebirds. What? I hadn’t even noticed them, but they are small light birds. Naked as I am, I should have felt their tiny claws on my skin. But then again, I’ve probably got the worst sunburn of my life and pain, lots of pain, to drown out everything else.

“Send word to the Oracle of Molamione on the Isle of Nullabar. She must come straight away. I believe this man is the key to fulfilling Molamione's prophecy. This man is marked by the goddesses. Noemi, take this man to your home and care for him. Keep him alive. Do whatever you must. I fear we may be too late."

"Yes my queen."

I was lifted back up and carried on my way. Receding in the distance, I heard the queen speak again. “You and I need to talk Puabi. This type of behavior can’t continue.”

Cheated out of death yet again. This Puabi could have killed me but some mystic mumbo jumbo stopped it. God damn cancer is gonna win. I’m too weak to stop it. I wanted to speak, to say the words, kill me, but I couldn’t.

The women who bore my stretcher hustled through the streets till we entered a building.

From what I could see, it seemed made of well cut stone, although the front facade I could see, appeared to have had parts, left purposely rough as part of some design.

They set me down on a bed, my head lolled to the side allowing me a view of the room. Nothing appeared modern. If this Noemi, who I could see was without a skirt or shirt even, only in what could be the simplest of underwear, was a medical professional, she must be hard pressed and short of supplies. There were shelves, and they only contained numerous pieces of pottery and glass containers. This Noemi, searched through them for a few things.

She came away saying “Found it.” Someone else was in the room. “Ausra, now pay attention. Paste made from the Burrem root will knock him out nicely so we can start on everything else. Straighten his head.”

This Ausra turned my head so I faced up. Noemi appeared overhead with a spoon. Drops of a bitter salty slime landed in my mouth.

“Swallow that if you can. I will help, but if you can do it on your own, it’d be better.”

Sure thing woman. I did my best with my dry throat and managed a little bit down without choking.

She watched on for a while. “Excellent, it should be quick to take effect. The burrem root paste should knock you out long enough for me to take care of you.

I couldn’t keep my eyes open. She was right. I was asleep or at least under some type of anesthesia before I knew it.

When I came up out of it, I could feel the pain still, but… but I was on some sort of painkiller, something that worked better than the ibuprofen or vicodin ever had.

Noemi sat next to me. This time fully clothed. “Do you have enough strength now to speak?”

I tried. It was hard, but I rasped out, “Yes.”

“Good, that means you’re not going to die.”

What the hell is she talking about. My body was riddled with cancer. I was going to die.

“Thirsty?”

“Yes.”

She proceeded to help me take little sips of water over the next few minutes.

“Had enough?”

“Yes.”

“What’s your name by the way?”

Why not. I don’t think It mattered hiding who I was from this native islander woman who spoke fluent english.

“Josephus Carter.”

“Josephus.” She sounded it out, unsure or unfamiliar with the name. “I’ve never heard of a name like that before. But still, you’re lucky to be alive.”

“How?” I whispered. “I should be dead.”

“Don’t tempt Lace Chenos.” Noemi scolded me. “You’re alive, but very sick.”

“I’ve got cancer. I’m dying.”

“Cancer? I’m not familiar with this cancer. Is this a sickness?”

The woman had no idea. No idea what cancer was. How would I explain it to her. They believed in superstitious nonsense. Do they even have any technology here?

“Yes. It is all throughout my body and it is incurable.”

“That’s not good then, but the Oracle of Molamione should be here anytime now. She’ll tell us what the three goddesses want with you. You seem to have been chosen by them.”

Chosen, who’d choose me in my condition.

“Were you a sailor? Is that how you ended up in the water before Misarulu carried you ashore?”

Goddesses? All of this is complete nonsense.

“No… yes. There was a boat, my boat.” Maybe I was already dead. “Is this the afterlife, am I dead?”

She looked confused, “No. This is not any afterlife. We are the farthest one could be since we’re still alive.”

“I think I’m dead. This is nothing like what I thought the afterlife would be.”

“I assure you,” Noemi said, “You’re alive. You have not been embraced by Lace Chenos.”

“I should be there then. I should be dead.”

“Stop this nonsense. Saying such a thing invites disaster.”

Hah, if she only knew. “I was on my ship, dying. Saw an aurora cover most of the sky. A storm, giant rolling waves, lightning, wind, thrown overboard. A whale swallowed me. Then spit me out I think. A turtled dragged me on its back to where you found me. I should be dead. The devil’s own luck kept me alive, but I’m still dying. The cancer is going to win.”

“It sounds like this Devil gave you some of his luck for a reason. I don’t know this god or goddess, but perhaps the three goddesses do. They may have asked the Devil to watch over you.”

What a joke. How can she speak english so well, and she doesn’t even know who or what the devil is? This makes no sense.

“Tell me, where am I? What is this place?”

“You’re in the city of Orthanos, on the isle of Tryosh.”

No idea. Never heard of those names in english or any other language. “I’m not familiar with them? Do you know of Hawaii?” Noemi shook her head no. “The Pacific Ocean?” Again a no. “The United States of America?” Still no recognition.

“Sorry, I am not familiar with any of those places. But I am only familiar with some of the lands in and around the Sea of Korisolt. By the way, are these love birds yours? They haven’t left your side since Ausra brought me to you.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“Well they seem to be friends of yours. Like I said, they have not left your side at all.”

Still weak, I did my best to look down. There on my stomach sat four lovebirds, staring up at me.

The blue and grey one chirped first. Hopped forward. The red one chirped as well. The other two joined in. They moved up onto my chest, chirping away. Something about their chirping tickled the back of my brain. They were speaking, they seemed excited.

“Their behavior is unusual Josephus. I’ve never seen any lovebirds behave as these do, but I think you’re special. This means something. The oracle of Molamione should be here soon. The queen thinks you fulfill a prophecy of Molamione.

I had no idea who this Molamione is. Another thought entered my mind. Was this world even my world. What if this was some other world out there in the universe. The strange aurora, the storm, the whale.

“I don’t think I’m special, and I don’t think this is my world Noemi. Where I’m from we had gods, but they left us. It was all myth and legend, mostly forgotten in the past.”

“Oh, that’s sad, if you’re from a world where the gods abandoned you. But you’re here on Tohreon, and the gods have not left us. They have sworn to stay and uphold their duty to us. It would be unthinkable for them to abandon their station. That’s sounds horrible for you to have lived there.”

“It really wasn’t. We still had religion. There were a few gods still worshipped, but they never answered our prayers. They ignored us. Most of us stopped believing. I stopped believing."

A knock interrupted our conversation.

“Noemi, The oracle, she is with my mother now, and has called for the man to be taken to them.” It was the voice of Ausra.

~|O|~

Chapter 5

~-~

“Help me get him onto the stretcher, and we’ll be off.”

“Yes Noemi.”

Both lifted me up and set me on a stretcher. A real one, not made of spears and skirts, and much more comfortable.

Both lifted the stretcher bearing me with ease. Was I that far gone that two small women could lift me with ease, or were these really amazons, supernaturally strong and blessed by the gods somehow.

I was carried through this town I could see little of. Still too weak to even turn my head, I was stuck staring straight up into the blue sky. Around us as we moved, I could hear several women and girls talk and whisper things like; There goes the strange man, a man allowed in here, is it true, Molamione sent him to us.

No men. Not a single man I could hear, nor any boys.

The place we ended at had no ceiling. Columns of stone ringed about, reaching to the sky. I was taken down and placed on a table or something flat. Hard, cold. Stone maybe.

The queen was there, commanding everyone to quiet themselves. All the discordant chatter hushed.

“Noemi, how is our guest?”

“He is better, but he is still dying my queen. There is little more I can do right now than to ease his suffering unless the three goddesses will it otherwise.”

“That is sad to hear. Oracle. Tell me what you can about this man?”

A woman, garbed in a multi-colored translucent garb, moved atop me, straddling me. Her weight pressing down upon me, but in a way she didn’t obstruct my breathing. Her clothing left nothing to the imagination. The lovebirds seemed unhappy and flitted around her, challenging her, but she ignored them. She held a small potion bottle in one hand, and a knife in the other.

She started chanting, a rhythmic chant. Her body swaying. Unstopping the bottle with her mouth, she then poured a few drops into my eyes, forcing me to blink, then into my mouth. It was a sour fruity taste. Then she poured it into my hair, all the while rhythmically chanting and tousling my what must be ragged hair. She put the bottle to her lips and seemed to swallow the rest.

She brought the knife up, cut her hand, licked it, bent over low to me and kissed me, the taste of her saliva, the sour potion, and blood mixed into my mouth. Her lips sealed on mine, I was too weak to resist and was forced to swallow She jerked upright, then screamed.

“This man is the one who fulfills the prophecy of Molamione. This lost child has returned. This child must be saved.”

This oracle got off of me.

“Are you sure Oracle?” The queen asked

“Do you doubt the word of the Goddess Molamione, Trenna.”

“No Oracle.” The Queen said, “I only want the rest to have no doubt. I have already ordered preparations for the ritual. The chamber and materials are being readied as we speak.”

“Molamione, Misarulu, and Calinvar are pleased with the initiative you’ve shown today, Trenna. There is little time left. The wick on this child’s life candle is low. Soon the child will be embraced by Lace Chenos. You must hurry. This lost child suffers from a sickness not seen since before the turning of the world.”

“We are hurrying Oracle. The preparations should be done within a day.”

“Excellent. I will wait for the ceremony. Make ready his body.”

“Yes Oracle. Noemi, prepare him for the ritual spoke of in the prophecy of Molamione’s lost child.”

“Aye my Queen. He will be readied.” Noemi spoke

The lovebirds were there chirping away, excited, flittering about. Noemi came over. I knew it Josephus. You’re the child of Molamione, fulfilling her prophecy. I am the one fortunate enough to take care of preparing your body.”

My sides ached from where the woman had straddled me. I coughed again. “It hurts.” The pain was back on and only increasing.

“I’m going to give you some more burrem paste.” She had the same pot as before which she spooned a small bit into my mouth. I swallowed, coughing a bit more.

“Thank you.”

“Now sleep Josephus. Sleep. Tomorrow is a very important day for you.”

The drug kicked in. It didn’t matter at this point. I was along for the ride. Either by some miracle, I’d be cured of the cancer, or maybe whatever it was they wanted to do with me would kill me. Maybe the cancer would win. The pain washed away.

I woke up a few more times I think as the drug wore off, each time only a haze as Noemi or Ausra drugged me again.

One last time I woke. I was swaying on something. Four ropes from around me went up to join together in a single rope which went up to a pulley suspended over me, then back down out of sight somewhere.

Noemi was there at my side. The four lovebirds were on her shoulders watching me. She said to someone “My Queen, he’s awake,” Then turning to me, “Oh Josephus, it’ll be over soon. Everything will be okay. She brushed my hair back.

I was tired, I tried to ask what was going on, but I was too weak. I could barely keep my eyes open to look around.

The thing I was on, was lowered. I watched Noemi recede away from me.

To the other side a large shiny metal structure, a clam shell came into view. What the fuck?

The platform caught on something on the side opposite the shell as it lowered. The platform turned, and I slid off, head first.

“What?” I think I managed to get out as I fell, then plopped into a thick green liquid. It was deep enough it covered me, covered my face, my mouth, my nose, I was going to drown. It filled my nostrils, my mouth. I was too weak to even struggle, to survive, not that I wanted to. The instinctive panic set in as my airway was first blocked, then filled. I weakly coughed, sputtered as the liquid filled my lungs replacing the air.

It burned where it touched but quickly dulled into a numb warmth. Was I dying. Was this going to kill me and not the damnable cancer. Was I truly dying this time now? Was that too much to ask. Everything shut down much like it had when falling from my boat into the ocean. All I had was timeless thought, and even that disappeared into nothingness.

~|O|~

Chapter 6

~-~

I held a small paintbrush in my left hand. In my right, I held steady a kiln fired ceramic, a small parrot of sorts, a lovebird.

My work in painting this ceramic was over a work desk. To one side, three other lovebirds already painted with glaze, stood. One blue and grey, another mostly green, and the third a red and green. I was mid way through on the last one which seemed to be all red.

Also on the desk was a cup filled part way with what I knew to be paint thinner, murky with the ceramic glaze cleaned off the brushes. Another cup stood full of brushes. Several small bottles of ceramic glaze were off to the other side from the birds.

The room I worked in seemed to be a work area dedicated to crafting of all sorts.

I know this place.

I’ve been here before.

This is my mother's work area.

Out of a speaker played classical music in the background. Chopin’s Prelude, Number Eighteen, in um… F Minor. Strange, how would I know what key this would be playing in.

There were many things, wood, uncarved and carved, tools, ceramic molds, canvases, the kiln that my mother had fired these hummingbirds in, work tables, power tools

I stopped, taking everything in. Definitely my mother's workshop… I looked at what was in my hands.

I remember.

This is when I was nine years old.

The four lovebirds. I begged my mother for them one time we visited the ceramic store. My lovebird Taco, the bird I had since I was seven, died. When I saw they had a set of molds for the lovebirds, I begged and pleaded my mother to get them. She relented.

Why am I here? Am I hallucinating in the final throes of death? Is this a fool illusion of my mind sheltering me in my final moments?

“Something wrong Jo?”

A hand rested on my shoulder. The voice, her voice. Mother’s voice.

“No mom. I was just distracted thinking about stuff.” She stood behind me, taller. I looked up and back into her smiling face.

“You had me worried. You just stopped and stared into space.”

“I’m fine mom.” I say but if I’m dying then it’s meaningless

“Ok. Your lovebirds are turning out spectacular honey. You’re really good at this.”

Her statement echoed by others. Others were in the room with us. Many others, somewhere behind me, just out of sight, all watching and waiting.

“Thanks mom,” I blushed.

Someone, not my mom said, “Awww how cute.” followed by someone telling the person to shush.

“I’ll let you get back to work then. Just let me know if you need anything. She kissed my cheek.

“I will mom.”

I finished the fourth and last lovebird. Just as I remembered it, or was I remembering it as it was, or was this all a fake hallucination of a dying man. Still, I felt others watching me, whispering, just out of sight.

I turned my head to be sure. Only my mother could I see.

She worked on her loom, weaving a strange pattern, similar to a buddhist mandala but also heavy on the geometric shapes not unlike Islamic geometric repeating designs seen throughout mosques and holy sites built during the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries. How do I know that?

Turning back to the lovebirds I finished painting the glaze on them.

“Mom, I’m done.” I called out.

“Clean up Jo, and get the stands for the kiln.

“Sure thing.”

I busied myself cleaning up my work area. Putting away all the glaze, cleaning my brushes and returning my work area to how it was when I started. It had to be spotless. My mother was a stickler for that. She refused to let me work further or leave until i cleaned everything I’d last used. There were times I’d left a big mess and been grounded for it.

Going to the box of kiln stands, I found one for each of the birds. The kiln was already empty. I placed the shelves we’d use. Being nine, I wasn’t allowed to turn on the kiln, but I could at least do this. I had everything situated when my mother came over.

“You remembered everything I told you about placement. Good for you. I’m glad you listened Jo.”

“Can I turn it on mom? Please?” I wasn’t allowed to do it myself but with her supervision, she allowed me to do quite a bit of things otherwise.

“Sure thing.”

“Yay.” I shut the lid to the kiln, then turned on the control box. This was a digital kiln. I asked, “Mom, what selection should I set it for?”

“Just set it on option C. That should work for firing the glaze.”

“Thanks.” I made the selection and set it to start.

“Excellent sweetie. We’ll let that go for now and I’ll check back in on it later tonight. Let's go get ready for dinner. Your father is home and he should have dinner ready shortly.

I perked up. I’d been so engrossed in my four love birds I’d lost track of time.

“Okay mom. I’m going inside now.”

I left the workshop, and walked across the yard to the house. Opening the door, I took in the the aroma of a home cooked meal being prepared.

“Dad?” I called out.

“I’m in the kitchen.”

There I went. My father stood \in front of the stove. The hiss of gas burners and sizzling food evident. He was cooking. I came up behind him and hugged him.

“Whatcha making?” I already knew from the smell.

“Your favorite Jo.” I’m making corned beef hash with onions.

I peeked around and looked at what was in the skillet and indeed he was.

“Ahhh yes!!! Thanks dad. Need any help with anything?”

“Just make sure the table is set after you wash your hands.”

“Okay.” I left my father and quickly washed my hands at the kitchen sink. After that I sat at the table and waited in my usual seat at the table. My mother came in right when my father had finished. We had the corned beef hash the way I loved my father to make it. There was a salad, and some steamed veggies on the side. Everything was placed. Both my parents sat down with me.

My father spoke, “Now that we’re here, I’d like us all to say something we’re thankful for. You go first dear,” father said to mother.

“Well, I’m thankful for my family. I have a hard working husband. Brenden is strong and determined to succeed and Jo is creative." She smiled at me. I blushed at the compliment. My older brother Brenden would probably laugh at my reaction if he wasn't at baseball camp.

“And you Jo? What are you thankful for.”

“Well, uhh,” What was I thankful for? There were many things I was thankful for, but I needed something new. Many times I’d used my parents or brother, or even my valuables as an easy way out. I needed something I was truly thankful for. There was one person I was very thankful for. For all she had done for me as crazy as it seemed. I said, “Noemi. I’m thankful for her help.”

“Oh sweetie,” My mother said, “I’m sure she’d be happy to hear that.”

“Yes,” my father said, you should let Noemi know that the next time you see her.”

Wait, what. But Noemi… she’s… Was she real? Was any of that real. Had I grown up, gone to college, fell in love with Janice and gotten engaged, had cancer, sailed on my boat into the Pacific, abandoning everything I had in the face of despair the cancer had wrought.

I pushed back from the table and stood up, sending my chair to the floor.

“What’s wrong Jo,” My father asked. Both had a look of concern. The others, the ghosts, I couldn’t see, I felt them startled, in a panic. I’d broken script.

“I…” I looked down at my 9 year old hands. “I…”

“What’s wrong?” My mother repeated my father.

I looked up at them. “I died. I’m dead… The cancer. I don’t want to die. ” I started bawling.

“Quick Nyhielak, the connection, Jo’s severing it at his end.” My mother said.

I cried. My emotions rampant. The feeling of loss, of rejecting Janice, of abandoning my family. Despair filled my soul.

“What’s taking so long? Hurry up before Asarzaly detects him.

“There’s garbage noise in the link, what the…. Asarzaly is scanning for the bypass. Shit.”

“Do whatever it takes, I want my child back.”

“I’ve got Jo. That was close, but I had to change the output template.” My father spoke.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll have my child back no matter what.”

Both mother and father were there on each side, pressing me between their bodies in what I wished could be an eternal hug.

I cried out, “I don’t want to die. The cancer. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to."

“Shush, sweetie,” My mother whispered. “Shush, we’re both right here. You’re not dead. Shush. We’re here. We’ll always be here…”

“But I…”

...Snapped awake. A large jarring shook the clamshell. The groaning of tearing metal. Cold flooded over my body restoring my sense of touch.

No pain.

“Come On,” a voice bubbled.

“What,” I mumbled or tried to. Something or someone latched onto my arm. Another took hold of my other arm, a third wrapped it’s arms around me from behind.

“Up… up... swim up… live… “ another voice bubbled

I struggled to swim and whoever was helping, pulled me up. I could feel my body. Strength had returned to my limbs, albeit I was tired, It was cold. I couldn’t see, water, dark. Those around me continued pulling and pushing me upwards, hopefully to light, to air.

I broke the water, Gasped for air. Giggling around me. I was pushed and pulled further, up onto sand, rough and course, beneath my body. A wave of water crashed upon me rolling me over so I was face down in the sand. I was on a beach.

A voice yelled out, “It is as the Oracle of Molamione has foretold.” I recognized the voice. It was the Queen. “She is reborn, this lost child of Molamione and Nyhielak, I present to you and the world, The Goddess Lydalphosdoriel.”

My face in the sand. I was tired. It was a struggle to roll over. A wave buffeted against me. No pain beyond rough sand against bare skin. I had no pain. But sleep. So tired.

A pair of arms gently picked me up to hold me close. Someone strong, someone big. A hand, holding a wet cloth, cleaned the sand from my face, from my eyes. I could crack them slightly.

The Queen held me.

“Oh my, you’re so adorable my goddess.”

“Huh?,” I mumbled. Sleep called and sleep came. I closed my eyes to the world.

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Comments

Looks like a good story start

Looks like a good story start - hope to see more.

BW


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Well, your story certainly

Well, your story certainly got me hooked and I would really like to see more of it. I was deep into when this portion ended, so please hurry, I am 73 already and time's a-wasting. ;-)

Pain and myth

Podracer's picture

Jo isn't the only good painter here. I like this.

"Reach for the sun."

Ah, someone who can spin a yarn

This is excellent, well written and emotional - abstract and real.
Keep it up - well done.

Keep writing

Jamie Lee's picture

Because of the writing, I could feel his despair while on the boat. Despair so great he welcomed death.

Between the time he was thrown into the water and someone wiping sand off his face after leaving the metal shell, all the events seemed surreal.

But he was in a great deal of pain, very drunk, and very angry because of the cancer.

So was it any wonder the way he responded when the queen referred to him as she? "Huh," the great utterance from a man whose not got it altogether.

Hope he has his mind together when he finds out he's now she.

Others have feelings too.

I'm looking forward to more

I'm looking forward to more of this story! :)


Hugs from British Columbia! :D