Nat pulled the skirt up his legs and snug around his waist. It fell just above his knees and was decorated with the images of butterflies, a lot like the ones dancing about in Nat’s stomach. He hoped Gavin liked it as much as Nat himself did.

The sandals he chose because he liked how much they showed off his fresh toenails. Nat’s top was sleeveless, exposing his bare shoulders, and it was just long enough that that it reached down to Nat’s waist as long as he didn’t bend over. His father would have a field day if he saw this outfit; it was a small blessing that he was working through the weekend.

Nat slid on the silver bracelet Emily had lent him, and finished the outfit with a small necklace his mother had gotten him the day before. She said that it was overdo that Nat own some jewelry of his own. It was a silver chain sporting a small opal stone in the shape of a snake. His mother had to actually explain to him that it was his zodiac and birthstone. So much for being proud of his Chinese heritage…

But looking in the mirror, Nat couldn’t help but feel that something was missing. He rubbed his earlobe between his fingers. His mother had helped him tie his hair back; it wasn’t in a ponytail or anything, but it was pulled back enough for his ears to show.

“Mom!” Nat called out, cursing as his voice cracked again. He really hoped that it didn’t happen during his date.

“Yes, honey?” his mom called back from somewhere down the hallway.

“You wouldn’t happen to have any clip-on earrings that I could borrow, do you?”

After a moment, his mother told him to come into her room. When he got there, she was shifting through her jewelry box. Nat eyed it enviously. He couldn’t wait for the day he owned enough jewelry to have his own.

“Here they are,” his mother said, turning back to him.

She was holding a pair of silver clip-on earrings. They weren’t big, but they’d dangle a little.

“Come here; I’ll put them in for you.” As she did so, she added, “I’m expecting these back in one piece at the end of the night, you understand?”

“Yes, mom,” he replied.

“Promise me that I’ll get them back when you get home.”

“I promise, mom,” he said.

“Good.” She finished and held out a small mirror for Nat to see.

“It’s perfect,” he told her.

“Of course,” she replied, “I know what looks good. Are you ready to go?”

Nat nodded, still admiring himself in the mirror. Gavin was going to be blown away by what he saw.

()()()()()()()

Nat stood outside the restaurant clutching the colds of his skirt in his sweaty hands. He could see Gavin through the front window, leaning up against the wall and looking at the door where he expected to see Nat. He couldn’t see Nat from where he was standing, but maybe he could hear Nat’s heart thumping in his chest.

You’re being stupid, Nat told himself, Just calm down and go inside. He’s going to be happy to see you too.

He took a deep breath and wiped his hands on his skirt. Maybe Gavin wouldn’t notice how wrinkly it was. He licked his lips once, wishing he’d thought to put on some lip balm, and prepared a small smile that feigned confidence.

An older gentleman held the door open for Nat, and he thanked the man quietly. Gavin’s eyes lit up as Nat stepped through the door, and the smile Nat gave him this time was real as could be. Hopefully Gavin was focused on the smile and not how much Nat was blushing.

“Hey there,” Nat said.

“Hi,” Gavin replied, “You look… nice.”

“Th-thanks,” Nat stuttered. He had to turn and fake a cough to hide how much Gavin made him blush.

“You ready?” Gavin asked. Nat nodded. “Okay, let’s go.”

Gavin signaled to the hostess, who guided them to an empty table. As they walked, Nat tried to gently sway his hips, just enough to get his skirt to swish a little. He couldn’t tell if Gavin noticed; he seemed too nervous to look directly at Nat. Gently, he brushed up against Gavin, who glanced down at Nat’s skirt before he could realize he was doing it.

“Here you are,” the hostess said, laying out two menus onto the little table, “The waiter will be right over.”

Nat made to sit down, but suddenly Gavin darted behind him.

“Um… let me,” he said, slowly pulling out the chair for Nat to sit down.

For a moment, Nat wasn’t sure if he was going to blush or burst out laughing, but he managed to refrain from either and sat down on the available seat. Gavin pushed his chair in before sitting down himself across from Nat.

Gavin gazed at Nat for a moment before timidly picking up his own menu.

“So,” Gavin said, glancing between Nat and the menu, “I really like your outfit.”

“Yeah,” Nat replied, “You’re the one who suggested I wear a skirt.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said, “But I was… you know… worried. That you’d think I was being too forward or something.” He had started to sink down into his chair as he said this, as if he was admitting something terrible and afraid of Nat’s reaction.

“Well, maybe I just wanted someone to help me find the confidence to do it,” Nat told him.

“…really?”

“Maybe,” Nat teased, throwing Gavin a quick pity smile.

Gavin seemed to relax a little.

“Hello.” A perky older girl appeared at their table, holding a pad and pen. “My name’s Joyce and I’ll be your waiter tonight. Can I get you two something to drink?”

“I’ll have a Coke, please,” Gavin said, smiling gently at the waitress—Nat’s stomach turned ever so slightly as he did so. He told himself that it was nothing, but he still frowned.

“And you, deary?” Joyce asked.

“I’ll just have an iced tea,” Nat said.

“Okay! I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

Nat watched the waitress depart; she swished her hips something fierce as she walked, even though she was in pants.

“I’m fine,” Nat lied, giving Gavin what he hoped was a believable smile. Gavin’s brown was a little furled though; he could tell that something was wrong. Nat had to say something. Maybe compliment him. Gavin had been giving compliments. It was only fair.

“Your hair looks really nice tonight,” Nat said.

“Oh, thanks. I thought I’d do something special tonight. Since it’s a special night. Special for me, anyway. Um, anyways, I used hair gel to get it this way. Something just for tonight. And maybe other nights, if we do this more than once. I’d like that. Your hair looks nice too. I mean, it always looks nice. Extra nice.”

Any remaining butterflies Nat might have had left just finished packing up and fled his stomach with Gavin’s response. He almost laughed, Gavin was just so darn nervous. But he couldn’t laugh because Gavin would be embarrassed, and that would either make Nat feel awful or burst out into another fit of giggles. At the moment it was a toss-up.

“Thank you,” Nat replied, “I thought I should do something a little special for tonight too.”

Joyce returned with their drinks and asked if they were ready to order. Nat scanned the menu briefly, settling on the first thing she saw.

“Can I get the chicken parmesan without garlic?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” Joyce told him, “What would you like as a side?”

“Salad, please.” He handed his menu to the waitress, whose nails were painted a dark and bold red color. Suddenly the purple nail polish made Nat feel a little childish, and he sank down in his seat a little as Gavin gave his order.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?” Gavin asked.

“Yes! Absolutely,” Nat blurted out, sitting straight up in his seat. He jerked back up so quickly that he almost hit his knee on the bottom of the table.

Gavin didn’t seem to buy his super-convincing statement or the definitely-real smile Nat gave him.

“I’m fine, really,” Nat told him, dropping the smile, “I’m just a little… distracted.”

Nat didn’t want Gavin to think that he wasn’t happy to be there with him. It was just that he really didn’t want Gavin to realize that he could do better. And if Gavin really stopped to think about it he might just figure it out before the night was through—even their waitress was better at being attractive than Nat was.

“So, um, how are you doing in math?” he asked, hoping to get Gavin’s (and his own) mind off of the subject.

“Hm? Oh, Pretty good, actually, thanks to you. My grade’s gone up by like four points since you started tutoring me.”

“That’s good,” Nat said, resting his arm on the table, “Your parents must be happy, then?”

“Oh yeah,” he said, nodding, “I doubt they’d have let me come tonight if they weren’t. I guess your parents didn’t mind you coming out tonight either?”

“No,” he replied, “My mother was pretty much okay with the whole thing. My dad wasn’t too thrilled, but you know what he’s like. But he didn’t try to stop me or anything.”

“That’s good,” Gavin said. He was looking at Nat’s hand, which was still resting on the table. He laid his own arms down on the table as well, adjusting his position so that he was sitting more straight.

“I meant to ask,” he continued, “When did you get your ears pierced? I hadn’t noticed it before.”

“Oh, this.” Nat rubbed one of the earrings between his fingers. “It’s a clip-on I borrowed from my mom. My parents don’t want me to get my ears pierced yet.”

“It looks good,” Gavin told him, watching Nat put his arm back down on the table. He reached forward a little bit so his hand was just a few inches away from Nat’s own. “So, when you do get your ears pierced, are you only going to do it once? I know some people get a lot of piercings, so I’m curious.”

With the hand not in close proximity to Gavin’s own, Nat rubbed his outer ear a bit. He knew what Gavin meant—he’d seen people with piercings all the way up and down their ears, but he’d always kind of thought that was a bit much.

“I think I’ll just do one for now,” he said, “No need to rush into something I don’t know I really want. Besides, my parents wouldn’t really approve.”

“Probably not,” Gavin agreed, “But it’s your decision. And in a few years they won’t be able to stop you anyway.”

They’d try, Nat lamented, feeling his spirits drop a little. He perked right back up, however, when a bolt of energy shot through him. Something had touched his hand. It was Gavin’s hand. Gavin was touching his hand!

Nat didn’t move. For a moment, he wasn’t even breathing. He didn’t want Gavin to take his hand away. Nat bit his lip, trying to find something to say

“I like your watch, he said slyly, looking down at the arm Gavin was touching him with.

Gavin almost jerked his arm away in surprise, but instead he just squeezed Nat’s hand a little more firmly. Nat squeezed back, smiling softly.

“I have a chicken parmesan with salad and the honey-grilled shrimp with a baked potato!”

Joyce had suddenly reappeared with their order on a tray.

Nat sighed and pulled away from Gavin and Joyce placed their orders on the table. She gave Nat a slight way as she turned away, her hips bouncing as she walked away.

As they ate, Gavin talked a little more about his family. His mother was going away next month to visit her sister up north, and at her father’s insistence Gavin had already started looking for a potential summer job.

“I’ll be sure to come look for you wherever you end up,” Nat teased, taking another bite of salad and laying his other arm down on the table.

He didn’t have to wait but a moment before Gavin’s hand brushed up against his, and once again it sent a tingle throughout his body. If only they didn’t need both hands to eat, there could be a lot more handholding going on.

“What about your family?” Gavin eventually asked.

Nat swallowed and replied, “You’ve met my family. What more do you really need to know?”

Gavin seemed a little taken aback by this, but recovered quickly. “Okay, what about your brother? You never talk about him.”

Nat snorted and asked, “You want him?”

“Is he that bad?”

Natalie sighed. “Sometimes…” he admitted, “He can be a pain when he wants to be.”

“You ever think that maybe having a younger sister would be better?” Gavin asked.

“Not really. Then he’d probably just start stealing my clothes.”

Gavin frowned.

“That was a joke,” Nat explained.

“Oh! Sorry. Yeah, that was kind of funny. I guess I’m just not used to you making jokes about your family.”

“Yeah… I don’t do that often,” Nat started into his drink for a moment, pushing around his straw absentmindedly. “Can… can we talk about something else?”

Gavin reached over and took Nat’s hand in his own—no hesitation this time. Nat was shocked. He looked up at Gavin, who was smiling gently at him. Nat smiled back. And in that moment Nat realized that he didn’t have to try so hard to make Gavin happy to be with him.

They talked for a bit more, and when the check came Nat quickly glanced at Gavin’s watch. It was nearly 9:30. They’d been there for almost the full hour and a half. Nat’s mother was going to be there soon to pick him up.

Nat could have sighed. Sure, it was just dinner, but he really didn’t want it to end. He didn’t want to go back home and then have to figure out how to talk to Gavin back in school. Would they hold hands then? Would they be able to talk so freely with each other? Would Nat have the courage to wear a skirt at school, even if it was only for Gavin?

Much to Nat’s surprise, Gavin pulled out a credit card to pay for the meal.

“It’s my dad’s,” he explained, “He let me have it to use for tonight.”

Joyce took the check and card back to the register. Nat watched her go, but quickly returned his gaze to Gavin, who looked like he wanted to say something.

“I really enjoyed tonight,” he said.

“Yeah, me too.”

“Maybe we can do something like this again?”

“I’d like that. We could do something during the daytime too. Like ice cream.”

Ice cream? That’s your big romantic suggestion? Nat scolded himself, Now he’s going to think you just want to be friends.

“Ice cream might be nice,” Gavin agreed, as the waitress returned with his card.

As she turned to leave, Joyce gave Nat a knowing wink, but Nat wasn’t sure that he knew what it was supposed to mean.

Nat and Gavin walked out together, not quite hand-in-hand but standing pretty close together. Neither of their parents were waiting for them, so they stood outside the front of the restaurant, making small talk. Nat wasn’t entirely sure what they were talking about. He was more concerned with leaning up against Gavin. Nat was close enough that he could actually take in Gavin’s scent. He breathed deeply, and it made him feel a little more relaxed.

It was almost a shame to see his mother’s care pull up and slow to a stop in front of the restaurant.

“That’s my car,” Nat told Gavin, his shoulders sagging a little, “I guess I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Yeah, me too,” Gavin replied, sounding a little dejecting himself.

Nat wanted to give him a hug and say that he’d be thinking of him—something to reassure him just a little—but his mother was watching, and he didn’t want to give away just how strongly he felt about Gavin. His parents might not take it well and forbid Nat from tutoring Gavin anymore.

So instead he just offered Gavin a little goodbye wave, which he returned with a sad smile.

()()()()()()()

When Nat fell into bed that night, he couldn’t stop giggling. He had barely contained his smile during the car ride home, and he couldn’t suppress a grin as he changed out of his outfit and into some pajamas. It was just soooooo clear now; there was no point in denying it anymore. He liked Gavin, and he liked Nat back! He could have squealed with excitement.

He had to tell someone. Not his family, someone else. But he couldn’t wait! He had to talk about it now!

When it hit him, it was obvious that he could have slapped himself for not realizing it sooner. He got up from his bed and started riffling through his desk drawers. It wasn’t long before he came back up, holding an empty journal in his hands.

He opened up to the first page and grabbed a pen. He quickly scribbled down the date and moved to write about what he was feeling.

Dear…

He hesitated. Journal? No: diary.

Dear Diary, he wrote, Today, I had dinner with a very special boy. His name is Gavin Moore, and I think he might just be the most loveable boy in the world. I feel so stupid for not realizing before just how much…