Waiting for You

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Strong Caution.
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hanging there behind the trees
a blood red moon is watching
I was waiting for you with dread in my heart



A Tales of Us story..


The girl looked over her shoulder in dread; an unidentified fear over some peril… but she felt strangely safe; leaving her to wonder where that peril lie….

Somewhere else….

A lone figure ran down the tracks; narrowed to one path and flanked on both sides with tall chain-link fences. As hurried as her pace was, her pursuers took their time as they kept chase of the terrified girl. She stumbled; the fourth time since she left the road as she sought some place to hide. Even at their slow pace, they were on her before she had a chance to rise. Her only solace was that she was finally whom she had hoped to be, and her God would greet her with sad eyes but open arms….


Lincoln Park, New Jersey, Saturday morning….

Tyler walked into the kitchen and found his sister bent over their mom. Heather turned to face him and she grimaced through tears. He shook his head and shrugged in question.

“Ty……” she stammered; the words caught inside as if to speak would make the reality more painfully true. Margaret squeezed her daughter’s hand and motioned for Tyler to come close. She had been crying as well. but it was now time to comfort her children. She held up the morning paper and bit he lip as tears fell freely. Tyler stepped close and took the paper from his mother’s hands with dread. He stared at the headline for a moment before falling to the floor against the cabinet.

Local Transgender Teen Found Slain

The following Tuesday…. .

The woman smiled; a mixture of blessing and gratitude in the midst of overwhelming sadness.

“Jo was a sweet child. I know this sounds almost sacrilegious, but I have to speak my mind and my heart.... I am so angry with God. I want her back. I want her mother and father holding her tight and safe. I want to look up and see her smiling face. I cannot explain this. I cannot make this better. All I can do in the center of this hurt is say that I loved Jo as if she was my own. And I know that no hate or anger or madness can tear me away from the confidence that God loves Jo more than I can imagine. " She paused; surveying the people; friends, family and flack.

"But I know that God loves me enough to understand how angry I am. And loves us all to hold us through each others’ hearts and hands. My hope as a pastor is that we can strengthen each other and love each other – it's all I can do, but it can be the beginning of our healing. And that more than ever, we can be the sanctuary for girls and boys like Jo. A place of safety… of nurturing… of love.”

She bit her lip; her tears mirroring those of the people she hoped to shepherd. She held out her hand in summons and two teens walked to the front of the church.

“My cousin…. I loved my….” Heather stammered. The figure beside her was at first terrified, but she stepped next to her weeping sister and spoke.

“Jo…Jo was my hero. I … I would not be here today … She... she led the way... my way, You know me by another name, but my name…. my new name is the name I was given when I was born, even if nobody… even if .I didn’t know. My name….: “

The familiar face was as tearful as anyone there, but she also derived strength from the love they held for the girl they all remembered

“You know me as Tyler…. And…. And in a way. I will always be Tyler, but my mom and my sis and my dad know me…My name is Grace.”

it rips through the sky a light flickers on
Jo I know you would say don't wait for me now
filigree of time demeaning sunset spoken
where the wind sings by the river ripples of black



Jo by Goldfrapp
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_BpEL1IDr4
Goldfrapp is Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory

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Comments

.

Thank you.

T

What a Gem!

littlerocksilver's picture

It will get better, but sometimes it doesn't.

Portia

Powerful story, Andrea.

Powerful story, Andrea. Simply moving and brought anger and tears to me.

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Anger

laika's picture

ANGER... that was the word I was looking for. Wonderful that Jo could be a hero an inspiration. Fucked up beyond imagining that she isn't around to know about it. But life isn't always pretty, and the good in this story was that a culture of terror can't win if people it targets don't let it. Or hell, l dunno what I'm saying; but in a way it seems like there's a political aspect to all these trans murders, the way rape is used as a psychological weapon in many misogynist cultures; to demoralize and silence...

I was going to make a joke about Goldfrappachinos but I guess not....
Hugs, tears and that's some awesome cosmic dream music,
Veronica

.
The closest approximation to what it's like in my brain:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u08E7c-FRbU&t=4s

Hugs Andrea!

A Sad, but all to common occurrence. (As tears flow). Just what is it about a trans Girl, that bigots & bullies fear so much? Such senseless acts! Loving Hugs Talia

Hmmm...

I don't know how I missed this one earlier. 'Jo'...??? You really reached deep for this one but it was worth it!!! Brava!!!

Who Else...

Da Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrat

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