I look at the three other women in the room. Of them, only Ronnie already knows the basics of my idea. I don’t have the details, but that is what my two Moms are for…working those out!

I say, “Momma, Mummy, I had an idea when I was talking to Grace today. By the way, she is doing GREAT! Anyway, Penny brought up the fact that this anti-nicotine campaign could be good because the addiction does not discriminate and this effort would cross red-green lines. Then I said something along the lines that I hoped there wouldn’t be idiots that would not take advantage of the program because it was spearheaded by the green camp…”

I grin and pause to see if it will click.

I get blank stares. I sigh and say, “I have NO idea whether this could work—OR how it could work in a public school, IF at all. But, think about it. We basically have TWO camps now… red and green. Thinking of that a little differently, we basically have ONE camp with two…”

Mummy chimes in excitedly, “HOUSES! Paige, that is BRILLIANT!”

Momma still looks lost.

I say, “It isn’t a lot different than Mummy’s LGBT camp with colored houses. If we get all the students to take the test that puts them on the LGBT spectrum and put them into the appropriate houses…”

Momma says, “Then they would see that there IS a spectrum that THEY are on and it’s not all black and white!”

I nod excitedly.

Ronnie says, “There is a lot that would have to happen with the school board to make the ‘house’ part viable. I can make the test happen, although, Angi, it would be best if it weren’t immediately clear that it is a psych profile…or, at least not one to put them on THAT spectrum. Something that is really ‘cheat-proof’…that they can’t knowingly influence.”

Mummy says, “I have a new version that I think will fit that bill perfectly. Assuming we can categorize them into appropriate ‘houses’, how DO we operationalize those?”

Ronnie smiles and says, “Well, along with Mrs. Dickenson leaving, there has also been…movement…in the school board. She had influential connections that were smoked out when her true self was revealed. It is quite shocking, actually, that we had such bigots on our board. There are more than a couple of positions now open… The superintendent has the right to name people to the board until the next election… I have convinced her to name Dawn as the next chairperson…”

We all exclaim, “What?”

Ronnie continues on, undeterred, “With Dawn at the helm…and Angi on the board, as well, plus the fact that a couple of the other members really owe me, I think we can make it happen.”

Mummy says, “I’m on the board, too? But…”

Ronnie says, “Not only on the board, but now an attaché to the school. Your new position is to implement this new system. We only have a few months until the next elections, so we HAVE to make this work by then, or we can ALL go somewhere else. There is NO doubt that there will be parental opposition—we have to convince them that this is a GOOD thing. The superintendent is in support—but won’t fall on her sword for this. I hope you will both say ‘yes’.”

Momma nods her head and says, “Of course, but… This all sounds great—in theory. I don’t see how we can make this happen in my lifetime—let alone before the next election cycle in…,” she looks at a calendar, “…two and a half months.”

Mummy looks really caught up in thought and says, “I know what you’re saying, Dawn, but I think we need to give it a try. I mean the model is proven—we just have to apply it here at the school. The key will be to turn up the heat slowly enough that the frogs don’t realize it is boiling—until it’s too late.”

I roll my eyes—that metaphor is used ENTIRELY too much. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t fit, though. I say, “If the test is mandatory…is there a way to give some sort of extra credit—something SO good that no one will want to turn it down—for ‘joining’ their house?”

Mummy nods and says, “Yes, and we wouldn’t FORCE them to stay in a particular house—only assign them there in the beginning. After a bit, they could move houses if they really don’t fit—although, there would be certain criteria that had to be met to get into certain houses. For example, any girl or boy could be in green, which is the ‘neutral zone’, if you will. Any girl could be in pink or any boy could be in blue. For a boy to get into pink would require extra justification, such as the appropriate score on the profile…”

Ronnie looks lost in thought and says, “O…K… This could work, I think. I will have to come up with the extra credit that will be acceptable to the faculty, though… Angi…,” she winks, “…or, is that ‘Mummy’? Can you have the profile test ready to give next week? We will likely have to do it several sessions to get everyone.”

I giggle at the ‘Mummy’ comment and she playfully sticks her tongue out at me. She looks back at Ronnie and says, “Yes, that’s not a problem.”

Ronnie looks at Momma and asks, “I know I drug you into this and you probably need another board to chair like a hole in the head, but is this really OK with you?”

Momma nods and says, “Let’s get to work, Ladies!”

To their credit, Moms take this huge bull by the horns and are very busy over the rest of the week. It does leave me feeling a little ‘neglected’, but I don’t REALLY mind at all.

Momma quickly takes charge of the school board and makes some needed changes there. Overall, the board likes how she starts running things.

Mummy gets everything prepped for the profile exams—both administering and evaluation, including categorization.

I work extra hard on my cheer and ballet routines with them all busy anyway.

On Friday evening, Mummy comes to me and asks, “Paige, will you do me a favor? You have taken the original profile exam three times and you know it inside out. Will you take this new one, so I can compare your results to your old ones and evaluate any differences? Try your best to influence the outcome—say, pretend that you want it CLEARLY to define you as a heterosexual male?”

I nod and say, “Sure, no problem!”

I sit down at her computer and try to guess the right answers to make me look like a ‘heterosexual male’. The results that it automatically spits out are that I am ‘in the middle’ of male and female. I retake it at Mummy’s request and try to be a heterosexual girl and come out much more on the female side, but the results are still basically ‘me’. I try a couple of different other scenarios until Mummy is satisfied.

She says, “Thank you, Paige. Your results compare well with others I have tried this on. You are able to skew the results, but not enough that you would be miscategorized very often.”

I am closing up the computer when the door opens and Francie walks in. I rush over and give her a big hug and really don’t like the way she looks. She has a strained look on her face and is viciously sucking on something.

Mummy takes her straight to her room and gives her ‘the shot’—then Francie and I go to bed early…

The next morning, Francie is looking and feeling much better (except for her butt, of course) and I fill her in on what is happening at school. She is excited about the prospects and decides to take me to the mall for a day of shopping for a change of scenery.

Two hours later, we are walking through the mall, our arms already filling up with bags, when I see Mrs. DICK-enson coming towards us in a small group of sour-looking women. I tug at Francie’s arm to duck into the nearest store, but it is too late. We have been spotted.

Mrs. DICK-enson comes up to us and says, “Well, if it isn’t the little PERVERT from school—and its CO-PERVERT?” Her tone is clearly snide and her voice carries. A lot of people look around to see what is going on, but quickly move on so as not to get involved.

I respond with a bravado that I don’t really feel, “Just leave us alone, Mrs. DICK-enson. We’re just here to enjoy the shopping—the same as you.”

She comes back, her voice dripping in contempt, “But, you see, *I* can’t enjoy the shopping—and neither can these other ladies—because you got me fired and them removed from the board. I think you need to PAY for that!”

I look at them, wondering what they think they can do to Francie and I in a public mall. Before Francie or I either one can react, the ladies grab us and start moving us towards the security office.

When we get there, Mrs. DICK-enson smartly raps on the door and says to the female security officer that answers, “We caught these two sneaking out of Jade’s without paying for the stuff they took. If you search their bags, you’ll see what I mean!”

The security woman looks at us and asks, “Is that true, young ladies? Did you shoplift?”

Both Francie and I shake our heads and say, “No, Ma’am,” at the same time.

The woman ‘invites’ us all into the office and puts the DICK-enson band of women into a room and asks them to wait until she can interview them about what happened. She then escorts us into a separate room and looks through our bags.

I gasp when she pulls a semi-expensive bracelet from Jade’s Jewelry Store (it still has the price tag on it) out of my VS bag. I say, “I don’t know where that came from! You have to believe me! We weren’t even IN Jade’s today!”

The security woman asks, “Is that really true? It is really EASY for me to verify that.”

Francie says, “Please do! It IS the truth! Those women have a grudge against Paige here because they got fired for inappropriate behavior towards her!”

The security woman makes a quick phone call, “Madge, this is Joyce. Do you remember two young girls in your shop today? One is about 17, reddish-blonde hair. The other about 15, blonde hair? Both really cute? … I see… OK. Do you mind if I pull your video feed? Thanks, Hon!”

The woman doesn’t say anything and goes to a monitor where she logs in and clicks through several screens. Suddenly, Jade’s is visible in several split screen views. The woman quickly goes through the last couple of hours of video feed and it is clearly visible where Mrs. DICK-enson, HERSELF, takes the bracelet and places it in her purse.

The woman, Joyce, mutters, “I keep TELLING Madge to put security tags on ALL of her stuff…” She looks over at us and says, “You’re free to go, girls. Sorry to bother you—but, you understand that I had to investigate.”

Francie nods and says, “Sure we do. Thank you for giving us the benefit of the doubt until you knew for sure. What will happen to…them…?”

Joyce says, “That’ll be up to the police and the judge—they’re already on their way!”

I shake my head and say, “She got in trouble for watching a group of students get ready to beat me up on live surveillance cameras without stopping them. You’d think SHE of all people would know the power of video cameras…”

Another shorter chapter—but it gets you of the cliff while I’m out (and hopefully feeling better)!

HUGS!