Fireworks make everything better. Events unfold including but not limited to: John reenacting a movie scene (which amuses Grace enormously) And Hannah finds a use for having night-vision glasses after all.

 

“..woah?..”
I looked up at Sarah and pulled the arm of my glasses out of my mouth guiltily from where I’d been chewing on them as I read.
“I was only gone a few minutes!”

My eyes cut around the library for a second uncertainly but I shrugged it off and went back to skimming the relevant chapters of the book in my lap.

After another glance at the page I’d seen enough.
I placed it on the nearest relatively clean spot of desk-space and picked up the next one.
It flicked open easily and shut with equal ease a moment later.
I don’t even need to check the actual chapters in detail to know this one will be useless too!

So many books and so many of them are practically useless!
Who stocks a library like this?!
It’s so frustrating!

“Han, maybe you should slow down a little? I’ve got your paper here and-”

She cut herself off a moment later when I shot to my feet and hopped over a few piles of books to reach her.
Her limp grip didn’t put up any resistance when I took the paper from it but she did flinch slightly when I reached up and took the pen that was tucked behind her ear.

Spinning on my heel I ran over to the nearest desk and pushed the books on it over a little to clear some space.

Within seconds the pen was moving.
I didn’t even need to pay attention to know what I was doing.
I need to get the numbers out!

“Han?”
My hand twitched, annoyingly making the six I was writing look more like an eight.

My head turned slightly towards her to show I was listening but I didn’t look away from the numbers.
They’re such a MESS!

Don’t worry though, I’ll have them all organised and playing well together in no time!
I flipped the paper over and started working on the next set of numbers before it’d even settled flat on the table.

My brains going so SLOW without magic!
It’s almost painful how many calculations I’ve got bottled up.

Thank the powers that Sarah turned up when she did, I’m not sure I could have resisted writing at least SOME of them on the walls in blood if I had to wait much longer.
I’m in a frenzy!
I can FEEL it.

..I know I’m doing it but it’s impossible to resist the call of it all..

I’m doing MAGIC.. real magic, NEW magic!
No-ones done this before!
No-ones made something like this before!

It’s so EXCITING!

“Han, you’re worrying me a little?”
She stepped further into the room and almost tripped over a book or two from the sound of it.

“I’m fine Sarah, better then fine. I’m great!”

Huh.. what do ya know?.. that’s not even a lie this time?
I can finally DO something!

Despite all my efforts to the contrary over the last week, in every situation I’ve ended up stuck in, I’ve been wrong-footed and unsure of myself.
This though.. I know this.
This is MY world!

No-one can beat me when I’m making miracles!

“Can you go get John for me Sare? I promise it’s not just a way to get rid of you, I want him to check my math as I go.”
She grumbled to herself a little bit.
She even said something like ‘what do I look like, the maid?’.. but she went anyway.

She’s seen me like this before, well.. she’s seen ‘Al’ like this before.
She knows that practically nothing is going to stop me before I’m finished.
I’m going to make a miracle or destroy the world trying!

..okay.. maybe that’s going a bit far..
The sentiments the same though!

I pushed the filled sheet aside and grabbed the next sheet of clean white paper.
I LOVE this part!

“MATHS OR GLORY!”

..I’m kind of glad no-one’s around to hear that..
I get a bit impulsive and silly when I have an idea.. does it show?

======

A pen scraped across paper in a final flourish and I sank back happily into my seat with a moan of joy.
That. Was. AWESOME!

John snorted from my side, his free hand moved up to rub at his eyes a little while the other one clutched a page of my calculations steady.
I think he’s been staring at the numbers for a bit too long honestly.

“Want a cigarette?”

..Huh?..
..why would I want a cigarette? I don’t even smoke.. I-

Oh.. ha, ha.. very funny..
..stupid smartass John..

“Just because I enjoy my work doesn’t mean you have to be crude about it.”
I tried to sound haughty and stuck up in my best ‘British aristocrat’ voice which is pretty convincing usually but it failed a moment later when a giggle slipped out of me instead.

I can’t help it.
It’s just so nice to finally be DOING something!

The glasses made me focus a little bit when I created them but they weren’t hard.
They weren’t a CHALLENGE!

THIS.. sixty-two pages of double-sided calculations and four double-sided pages of rough diagrams.. All just to prove that it’s POSSIBLE!..

..I LOVE magic sometimes..

“So, what’s the verdict? I’m not really clear on what you’re planning but I can say that the numbers are working out well, so far at least?”
His grip on the sheet of paper he was working on went a little slack as I looked up at him from my slouched position in my comfortable library chair.

“When you get to the diagrams it should make more sense.. probably..”
He pulled a disgruntled face at the idea of waiting.

Where’s the fun in me just TELLING him what I’m doing?
He’s got to work for it if he wants to understand my genius!

“Look on the bright side, only another twenty or so pages left to go before your there.”

His face went completely blank for a moment as he slipped into an incredulous look of mild irritation.
My grin was lazy to form but when it did it was blindingly bright.
..he’s fun to tease when he’s like this..

I cut my eyes away from him and glanced out of the window on the far side of the room.
We’ve been at this for a while now.
It’s actually starting to get dark out.. so, eight?.. possibly nine o’clock?

Isn’t there that barbecue thing going on tonight?
I wonder when it starts?

As if answering my unspoken question there was a knock on the door.

John let out a sigh of relief and slid the page in his hand onto the desk as his shoulders un-tensed.
I think he’s ready to take a break at this point.. weakling..

My lips twitched a little more, making my cheeks hurt with how bright my smile was now.

It’s almost cute the way he’s struggling to keep up with me.
It’s not often in life I’ve been able to be a step.. or seven.. ahead of him.

The door opened cautiously and Sarah stuck her head in.
When she wasn’t instantly assaulted by towering piles of books she seemed to let out a relieved breath.

I’m kind of surprised she didn’t hit some kind of book wall honestly.. I think John tidied up at some point?
I could have SWORN I bumped my elbow on a book pile near the door at one point but it’s not there now.. to be fair, I’ve been kinda busy..

“Everyone’s here. Mum AND Grandma sent me to see if you were ready to join us.”

Like a particularly lazy cat I eased out of my chair and stretched every muscle I could.
My neck gave a satisfying crack making my knees go wobbly from the feeling it generated.

A single plus side to not having access to my magic is that I can do something so entirely ‘human’ as cracking my joints!

A mages magic works to keep them in peak physical condition at a subconscious level and the ‘crack’ sound you hear when you manage that wonderful sound is excess nitrogen bubbles in the synovial fluid around your joints popping from pressure.
It’s not dangerous but it happens because your body’s not perfect, because your human..
..as a mage I can’t normally do it..

John looked entirely too uncomfortable after hearing my stretching session.
I don’t think he’s ever felt just how nice it is to do that personally?
He awoke so young and it’s not like he’s ever actually had a reason to cut off his magic before..

I flexed my knees getting minor cracks and rolled my knuckles to get a few too, just because I could.

“Okay, I’m ready.”
I offered John a hand out of his chair but he stared at it with mild disgust.
..he’s really THAT disturbed by this whole cracking joints thing isn’t he?..

My smile stretched a bit more and I barely held in a little giggle at his expense.
It’s easy to forget sometimes that behind that cool modern facade is the same French fop who fainted at the sight of a mouse in the court of Versailles!

It’s weird how new incarnations can seem so infinitely different from each other at times, but at their very core they seem to always be so similar.. well.. except me I guess.
I don’t think I’m much like the Arista I’m slowly coming to realise was a lot more scary and dangerous then I personally remember her to be at least?

My brain started going over old ground with all of the things that are wrong with my awakened memories but I shuddered hard to shake the bad thoughts away.

I’m happy.
I’m finally happy!

Now isn’t the time to ruin that with overthinking things..

I’ve workout out a solution to my magic problems!
I’ve finished designing a miracle!
I’ve grossed out John by popping nitrogen bubbles and I’m going to my first ever family barbecue!

Happy, happy, happy!
There’s time for depression later, I just want to enjoy tonight.

Without warning I grabbed John’s reluctant hand and pulled him to his feet.
With practically a skip in my step I snatched Sarah’s hand as I passed her and tugged the two of them out of the library.

Barbecue time!
I’m SO ready for this!

======

I take it back.. I’m not ready for this.

“That’s a lot of people..”
Sarah made an agreeing noise in the back of her throat.
I kind of froze the moment we stepped out the front door so she may be a little annoyed at me for blocking the entrance.

There’s at least.. I dunno.. it feels like a million people milling about on the front lawn but there’s probably a much saner, but no less terrifying, forty or fifty of them?

The large old Londoner I caught checking me out while I sunbathed earlier is behind three big drum barbecues with the similarly large old Aussie with the annoying sounding wife.

I can recognise about one in every three people vaguely as having been present at breakfast this morning but there’s no-one I can see that I’d be comfortable approaching in any way.

“They won’t bite Hannah.”
John slid past Sarah and pushed himself through the slight gap between me and the doorframe.
“Well.. they probably won’t, who knows with your family apparently..”

I growled at him and he shut up quickly with an awkwardly apologetic smile.
I get that he’s just trying to be funny to calm be down a bit but it’s not helping!

It’s far too soon to start making biting jokes after finding out about the whole ‘werewolf’ thing.

Reluctantly I put one foot in front of the other and stepping down on to the path.
Sarah let off a huff of annoyance as she eased ahead of me.

I think she’s impatient to meet all the new family honestly?
She’s always been a ‘networking’ and ‘meet new people’ kind of person.

..Outgoing?..
That’s the word I was looking for!

It’s probably what makes her such a good TV personality?
People love her.

She could walk into a room full of hated rivals and come out of it unharmed with promises to ‘do lunch next week’ from all of them.
That’s just the kind of person she is.. not that I’m jealous or anything..

“Come on Han, I think I can see Mum on the far side in a huddle of blonde women.”
My head perked up again and I smiled at Sarah as much as I could.

Mum’s good..
I can just spend time following Mum around until she’s introduced me to enough people that I can find somewhere to hide without being considered rude.

My feet took me to the edge of the path following Sarah and John.
Sarah stepped ahead of us to reach her first group of people and quickly got caught up greeting them.
I could have put money on that happening honestly..

I went to take a step out onto the lawn but froze with my foot just above it.
The blades of grass below my foot were already growing and moving to gravitate towards my feet.

..I can’t do this..
I’m going to step out on that lawn and leave footprints.. and everyone’s going to see it.. and I’ll be weird an.. and-

John’s arm wrapped around my waist from the side, so he could give me a little nudge forward to complete that first step.

I know what he’s trying to do but it’s not what I want.
I’m not meeting the rest of my family with a display of my weirdness!
..it’s bad enough the rest of them know I’m such a freak already..

My body rolled so I was out of John’s grip and standing securely back on the path beside him.

I’m not doing it!
I’m not walking out there like this!

John quirked an eyebrow at me curiously but after a moment he seemed to realise what the problem was.

I looked away from him and stared at all the people.
I can tell they’re all related with surprising ease?
The little things in their faces and body shapes are obvious, even from here.

We didn’t really seem to fit in with the rest of the family I met before but looking at the extended family I can see some resemblances between Mum and the new people.
Resemblances that filter down into Sarah and kind of into me too.. the old me definitely but not quite as much with this new ‘Arista’ body.
If anything my new body looks more like some of the teenaged girls I can see over by the stereo talking in tight a huddle of giggles.

Despite the late hour it’s still warm out and I’m kind of glad to know that I’m not the only one wearing a bikini top and shorts.
It’s slightly annoying that the only people I can see wearing similar clothes are those giggling teenagers and one rather buff looking woman in her thirty’s who’s busy getting a burger from the barbecue line though..

..they’re not exactly filling me with enthusiasm for my fashion choices right now..

A hand came in low at my knees and knocked my legs out from under me.
Before I could do more than squeak in surprise a second arm caught my back just above my bikini’s back-strings and held me tight against a warm, strong chest.

I stared up at John in shock.
He smirked at me and without a word started walking us out onto the lawn.

“Jo-!”
My eyes cut around us and I lowered my voice from an attention catching yell into an angry hiss.
“Put. Me. Down!”

His smirk got a bit wider and he perked up an eyebrow.
Slowly he tilted me a little forward so I could see quite plainly that we were surrounded by grass at this point.

“You’re such an asshole..”

He tilted his head a little as if he was agreeing with me but didn’t make any motion to actually put me down.
With a frustrated sigh I looped my arms around his neck and held on a bit better.

..he’s such an asshole..
I bet if I asked him to put me back on the path he’d just get all smug and march me out even further anyway!
Better to go along with it and keep at least SOME dignity intact.

“I’ll get you back for this..”

He laughed a little at that one.
I could feel his chest heave even though he didn’t show it obviously in his face.

Without warning he started walking us closer to all the people milling around.
He gave the main group a wide berth at least but we still got a few weird looks from the people that DID notice us.

I ended up hiding my face as best I could against his chest which left me staring at passing trees in the distance and the side of John’s face.
It’s not the most comfortable ride I’ve ever had but it could be worse I guess.. the trees are nice to look at, that’s something right?

We came to a sudden stop for some reason.
My first indication of why came from the unmistakable sound of muffled laughter.

I reluctantly pulled my head forward and came face to face with a rather confused looking version of my Mum.

“..way to make an entrance..”
My eyes cut over to glare at Grace.
Even from within the pack of blonde haired semi-clones around her it was easy to tell her apart by her wolfish grin and perpetually messy hair.
“I’d ask if your auditioning for an ‘Officer and a Gentleman’ remake movie or something but I’m pretty sure your both too young to get the reference.”

My glare went up a notch which didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.
I know exactly what scene she’s talking about.
John is definitely NOT an officer of any kind and he’s hardly a gentleman either!

“Give her a break Grace..”

My glare dropped and I smiled at the blonde woman beside her in thanks.
I think its Jessie?
It’s kind of hard to tell though.

The cute Aussie wasn’t kidding when he said twin’s run in the family apparently.
Practically everyone here has some kind of body double milling about nearby at the moment.

All the blondes in this little group in particular look very similar.
I’m guessing they may be the rest of mum’s ‘sisters’ that she mentioned before.. I should have known I wasn’t lucky enough for her to only have two of them!

It’s kind of weird actually.. Mum’s the only one from the lot of them that’s not got that particular shade of blonde hair?
I’m not sure what you would call her hair color, but it’s not THAT at least.

Apparently our little branch of the family has more of a ‘mix of shades’ from all the others going on?

In the right light I know for a fact that Mum and Sarah can look like they have the same dark black hair as the ‘Aussie’ group seem to have.
On the other hand, with the right lighting, they can look like the most bleached of bottle blondes too.

My hair used to be like that.
I’m not really sure if it still is honestly.. it’s not like I’ve tested it or anything?
In the mirror it seems to be some kind of mousy brown.. off white.. brunette.. thing?

Okay.. so I don’t know hair colors.. so sue me!

The POINT is that we’re odd compared to the rest of Mum’s sisters.
Even Grandma has blonde hair.

I guess.. the only person I know of who has hair like ours in the family is Uncle Joe?
Following that line of logic.. is Uncle Joe Mum’s twin?..

That can’t be right?!
That’s so.. weird?..

Someone snapped their fingers in front of my eyes.
It wasn’t really necessary, I wasn’t THAT deep in thought or anything, just kinda.. thinking..

“You can put my daughter down at any point now Max.”

I could feel John shift me in his arms a little but he didn’t put me down for some reason?
He coughed nervously and shot a look down at me.

Why’s he acting so-

“Hannah’s kind of got a problem with the grass. Do you have a place she can sit without touching it?”
Nice work John.. that didn’t sound suspicious or weird in the slightest.. truly.. bravo..

Mum went from amused to worried in seconds.
She stepped closer and examined me carefully.

I refuse to admit that I enjoyed her fussing over me as much as I did!

“What kind of problem? She’s not got allergies, I’d know if she did.”
Everyone else from the blonde huddle was watching us curiously now.

With a resigned sigh I tugged his sleeve a little for attention and nodded at the ground.
He perked an eyebrow up but when I didn’t change my mind after a second he shrugged and gently let my legs down.

I might as well get this over with.
They’ll find out at some point, I really doubt Grace has kept her mouth shut about my weirdness at this point.
At least it’s only this little group..

My feet touched the ground and the flowers tickled my toes through my sandals.

Everyone looked at us for a second, seemingly nonplussed.
I think they were expecting me to explode or something from all the build-up we unintentionally gave it.

With one more fortifying huff of breath, I side-stepped to the left leaving two foot-shaped patches of long grass and blooming flowers behind for them to see.

For a long moment they were all silent.
Even Mum was looking at the patch with wide eyes.

The first one to crack was Grace because.. well it just HAD to be, didn’t it?!

Her face twitched into a lopsided grin and from the very depths of her chest she boomed out a laugh that was almost more of a Hyenas cackle then a human noise.
A few of the others around us smiled uncertainly but Mum and Jessie keep their serious expressions in place at least.

Full of nervous energy I paced my feet a little only to end up making a third set of footprints just off from my second set.

That set Grace off laughing again.
She actually had the gall to point at my feet too!

One of the other blondes, one with her hair in a low ponytail, moved over and clipped her around the back of the head to shut her up.
I sent her a weak smile in thanks, receiving a warm one back for my troubles.

“When did this start happening?”
I cringed at the seriousness in Mums voice.

“It’s really not a big deal, it’s just a temporary side effect. It’s more embarrassing than anything important.”
She huffed, fixing me with a thoughtful look for a moment until her shoulders un-tensed and she let off a long sigh.

“As long as you’re sure you’re alright Ari?”

I couldn’t help but smile back at her for that.
It’s nice that she trusts me now, when magic’s involved at least.

I don’t think I’ll EVER get used to Mum being understanding and rational honestly?

“I figured if you had another bench or something she could sit on it and you could bring people over to introduce her to instead of making her walk everywhere and mess up the lawn.”
I shot John a glare for that but Mum made an approving noise and looked around at the blonde huddle.

One of the slightly shorter ones at the back waved her hand off to the side casually.

After a long second there was a creak and a worn looking picnic bench levitated over from its spot near the treeline.
It didn’t look like it would hold my weight at first but after another glare at John I made up my mind.

The embarrassing bit’s out the way now.
They’ve already seen the silly effect my magic’s having on grass at this point.

Careful to leave as few foot prints in the grass as possible I walked over to the bench and before anyone could stop me, stepped up on top of it.
It felt almost normal to feel the wood beneath my feet gain a youthful bounce to it as my magic spread out from my feet and covered the whole thing on its way towards the earth below.

In seconds the worn old picnic bench looked practically brand new.
Even the paint repaired itself from the patchy sun-bleached off-brown it was, into a nice rich shade of red.

I hopped down and landed on the bench seat facing them all with a smile.
Every member of the group, aside from John, was looking at me in some kind of awe.

John huffed to himself.

His arms folded across his chest and he looked away from me, muttering something like ‘show-off’.
I know he doesn’t really mean it, just from the way his eyes keep cutting back over to me before he glances away again forcefully.

I can tell that he’s just DIEING to look over every inch of the table too!
He wants to see how good of a job my magic has done on it.
He loves new and interesting magic just as much as I do.
He just doesn’t like to admit it most of the time.
..idiot..

It took me a moment to realise a fond smile had made its way onto my lips while I watched him try to look like he didn’t care.
I wiped it off quickly but judging by the knowing look I got from Mum and Jessie they caught it.

Before I could protest innocence or anything else they both turned away from me and started talking with the other blondes.
Within ten seconds they broke and seemed to spread out among the other conversational groups going on around the garden.

They moved like a well-oiled unit, it was kind of scary to see just how easily they slipped in to other groups without notice.

Mum made her way over and sat down next to me, slipping a warm arm around my shoulders to give me a light hug.
I glanced up at her but got such a nice smile back that I couldn’t help getting lost in it and smiling back.

Feet scuffing their way through the grass broke the moment and I turned to find one group of partygoers being casually led over to us by a blonde.
She winked at me playfully just out of their line of sight.

My eyes went a little wide when I realised what was happening but I barely managed to shoot a hopeful look towards John before the group descended on us.
In the mess of greetings and introductions that followed I barely managed to catch the end of John’s shirt from the corner of my eye as he walked away.

That utter BASTARD!
He gave Mum this idea and now he’s LEAVING ME HERE!
ALONE!

..you’ll pay for this John.. ohhh.. you will PAY..

“Arista honey, my.. you certainly take after you’re Momma don’t you?”
I turned back to the middle-aged brown haired woman with a warm smile that reminds me a bit too much of Rosemary.
“Quite a little hell-raiser was that one, had our Louise pulling her hair out with worry every other week with some new mischief.”
My mouth pulled into a pained, awkward smile which she took as an invitation to talk some more.

Who the hell is Louise?..
oh.. no.. wait! I know that one!

That’s Gran’s name isn’t it?
..Louise Garnier, like the shampoo company..

“I don’t think even your mother would have been brave enough to let her boyfriend carry her across the garden like that. Quite the statement you made dear.”

..you will PAY for this John!..

======

Mum’s sisters seem to have finally run out of people to drag over to meet us.

Sarah joined us at some point too.
She’s spent the last twenty minutes making me tap my foot on the grass every few minutes so she can get a few more flowers that she can, oh so subtly, slide into my hair as she plats it.

The only reason I’m not complaining is because I needed something done with my hair and Sarah’s bored so it’s best she keeps her hands busy.. it may feel kind of nice to have her play with my hair too but I’d never admit THAT to her!

“The fireworks are going off in half an hour. Is there anything you girls want from the Barbecue before they stop cooking?”
I glanced at mum through squinted eyes but shook my head.

Sarah stopped playing with my hair making me whine a little.
I may be getting a bit TOO into this ’playing with my hair’ thing..

“I’m gonna go get a burger. You’re done for now Han, not sure if I could actually get any more flowers in there if I tried honestly..”
My shoulders slumped for a second but she shifted her legs to stand up so I moved off of the bench to let her up instead of actually complaining.

For a moment I hesitated after my feet hit the grass and I felt the flowers brush my toes but it’s pretty dark out now so it’s not likely someone will notice the footprints too quickly.

“Anyone seen John?.. not that I care or anything..”
Mum shot me a knowing look and Sarah sniggered to herself as she walked away.
I probably should have kept the last bit to myself; even I’m not convinced by it.

“I think he’s over by the big oak tree Ari. I’ll be over with your Grandma if you need me, okay?”
At my nod she walked off.
For a moment I squinted my eyes behind my glasses to try and make John out through the seemingly pitch-black treeline.

I felt like smacking myself a second later when I remembered that I actually HAD glasses now, or rather one specific feature built into them.

My hands came up and I stroked along the arms until my fingers hit the switching runes for both lenses.
The moment my fingers made contact the world changed into a strangely colored vista, mostly black’s and blues with some spots of yellow and orange where something hot was located.
I tapped the runes again and the world turned green.

I know logically that owl vision isn’t green at night and considering my night-vision is derived from an owl rune you would think it would follow that logic too but magic’s just weird sometimes.
In this case movies have it so engrained in my head that night-vision is green that the lenses picked up on it and made it true.

Not that I’m complaining or anything.
The once pitch black line of trees in front of me is now easy to pick out even the minute details from.. it’s still weird how runes can react in unexpected ways sometimes though.

John was slumped against the big oak tree like Mum said.
If I didn’t know him better I’d swear he was asleep but I think he’s just meditating.

If I could sense his magic like normal I’d know for sure obviously but that’s not really an option at the moment.

“Hey John.”
His head twitched a little and as I stepped closer to him his eyes eased open.
His pupils caught me off guard for a second because they shone like little white sun’s compared to the green hue’s around us.

After a moment of surprise I calmed down with a breath.

I think that’s normal, right?
I vaguely remember something about your eyes reflecting light back out of themselves to see better from school.

Don’t quote me on that though, biology was never my best subject..

John’s eyes shut for a moment and his nose scrunched up in concentration.
When he opened them his head turned unerringly straight at me despite the lack of light for him to see by.

“Okay.. that’s just creepy..”
He made a noise in response that may have been a laugh if he’d opened his mouth.
I took the last few steps and came to a stop standing at his side.
“Budge over, you’re hogging the comfortable bit.”

He seemed to glare at my legs thoughtfully for a second.
With a dramatically overdone sigh he shifted his butt over to give me space to slide in next to him.

I was safely squashed up next to him before either of us spoke again.
With my night-vision on I could make out the mass of family members all huddled up by the bright spot I think is some kind of campfire.

“How long have you known that I’m part werewolf?”
It’s not much of an icebreaker but it’s been bugging me.
He tried to warn Mum in the car before we got here that she should to tell me before we got here, so he must have known somehow?

“I worked it out when Sarah was asking your Mum about why this party was so important to her.”
When it didn’t look like he was going to say more my elbow shifted just enough to nudge him in the ribs as a command to continue.
He sighed loudly and shifted a bit more before continuing.
“Sarah called it the ‘Metanoia festival’.. how’s your Ancient Greek history?”

I almost wanted to punch him for that one.
It’s annoying to admit that I’m not THAT good on it.
I could lecture on Rome for days and I know the basic god related stuff for both cultures but Ancient Greece is a bit of a blank for me for some reason.

“The Christian church subverted the phrase to mean ‘repenting’, a change of heart.. which is pretty ironic considering the original root word for it was ‘metanoeō’ meaning ‘to change your mind’ without any kind of implied guilt added to your past actions.”
He shifted slightly so his back was flush against the tree and he let out a sigh.
“There’s only one group I know of that celebrate a specific ‘Metanoia festival’ at this time of year, werewolves.. the kin of Christian to be specific.”

Christian?.. that feels familiar.. why would it..

Finally my brain made the connection and I cringed as the cold, calculating voice rolled around in my head.
‘The mother is one of Christian’s many descendants’
..the Storyteller..

He knew!
He knew and stated it as if it was some minor fact that’s common knowledge!

Damn it!
I should have looked into what he said more closely.
I’ve been so sloppy lately, I practically forgot that we’d even spoken about my family!

So much has happened it just kind of.. stopped being a priority?
..has it really only been a week since he had me trapped in that box?..

My body shuddered against the tree, just from thinking about the box again.
John casually lowered his arm down so it was around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him to share some body heat.

I kind of appreciate that he’s trying but it wasn’t THAT kind of shudder..
Not that I’m going to tell HIM that.. there’s no way in HELL I’m admitting to John that I may have developed some kind of claustrophobia from the box incident!

“Christian was a lycanthrope, one of several breeds of ‘werewolves’ across the world. He fell for a young baroness and followed her back across the sea to England.”
I shifted a little tighter into John’s side, from the tone of his voice this isn’t going to be a nice story.
“While he attempted unsuccessfully to win her heart his pack came to ‘save’ him, they believed that he had been bewitched and lured into a trap. As these things tend to do, one heated word led another and the pack pissed off the wrong man.. the baroness’s powerful mage father.”

..definitely not a nice story..

“He enslaved them and kept them within his dungeons where the towns people did.. unspeakable things to the pack under the guise of ‘teaching the beasts their place’.”
John shifted and turned his eyes vaguely in my direction.
He seemed strangely reluctant to say whatever was on his mind suddenly.
“From what I gather a young, newly awakened mage calling herself Arista took offence to the way the werewolves were being treated.. so at the dead of night, under the light of a blood red moon she freed them and set them loose on the locals who had tormented them for so long.”

My blood ran cold.

Leicestershire.. Leicestershire, England.
Thirteen-ninty-four.. just after the death of Queen Anne..

‘On the night of the bloody moon, you were the maiden who freed the Were’s held in enslavement by Lord Benedict’
..Dante.. that disgusting lich knew too!..
‘Such a beautiful night, the blood of the innocent ran red in the streets and you danced with the pack in the dark moon’s light’

I shuddered again, hard.

Why don’t I remember this?
My own family HISTORY is connected to these events but I can’t remember them as something one of my incarnations did?!

Is my brain so defective that I can’t remember something that seemingly EVERYONE knows about?!
..everyone but me..

“Christian pledged his kin to ‘Arista’ that night. He said that she was a wolf in human skin, more man then beast.. but only when it was useful..”
John kept going, his arm squeezing my shoulders a little more, completely oblivious to the pained look on my face.
“The pack named her their saint and, in an attempt to emulate her strength, spent countless years trying to find a way to cage the beast behind their transformation.. the last I heard they’d drawn themselves into seclusion and cut all ties to the other wolf clans across the globe.”

John’s eyes seemed to be staring into another world now, another time perhaps?

“When questioned on it they declared that they had completed their first successful ‘Metanoia festival’ and in honor of their guardian goddess ‘Arista of the red moon’ they would no longer take part in the great hunt.”

He seemed to shake himself back into the real world after a long pause.
I held my breath, I’m not sure why but it felt like the right thing to do.

“I was always curious if it was the real Arista or not. The actions didn’t seem to fit with what I knew of her at the time but it did supposedly happen in a period where we were.. out of contact.”
After a painfully long moment his head turned to look down at me and his eyebrow rose curiously.

I shrunk back against the tree carefully.
He wants to know if it’s true..
..I don’t.. I don’t know?..

How do I tell him that I don’t actually know if the ‘real’ Arista did all that?
I have a vague feeling that it’s right in some way but there’s no direct memories connected with that thought.. just a feeling..

“I can’t tell you if it’s true or not John..”
His eyebrows scrunched up in confusion and just a touch of hurt.

“Can’t?.. or won’t?”
There was no heat in his words but I could feel this WEIGHT to them, as if my answer would change how he saw me as a person.

Am I wilfully hiding facts from him or am I unable to tell them in some way?

I know John.
He’d see the first as a form of betrayal and the second as something he should be helping me to fix.

Reluctantly I shifted my legs so that I was sitting slightly away from him and sighed deeply.

I really don’t want to admit this to him but he’ll find out eventually, I knew he would work it out somehow.
Better to just get it out the way so he doesn’t think I don’t trust him with my past-incarnations in some way.

He shouldn’t react too badly, right?
We’re friends after all..

“I can’t tell you.. because I don’t know if it’s true or not.”
He jolted in surprise and seemed to blindly reach out towards me for a second before pulling his hand back as if burned in some way.

“How can you not know?..”

Here goes.. the moment of truth.
Do I really want to do this?
What if he reacts badly?.. what if he..

NO!
I trust John.
He’s my friend!

I rose to my feet and paced a few steps away from him to help calm myself down a bit.
Before I could talk myself out of it my mouth started moving at a slightly frantic pace.

“Something’s wrong with my awakening, more wrong then all the disconnection and gender problems.. I think.. I think that my incarnations.. I..”
My mouth stalled out under John’s intense but unfocused gaze.
He can’t actually see me, I’m the only one with night-vision, it’s okay..
“I think that some of.. a lot of my incarnations might be.. missing?”

John jerked as if he’d been shocked with electricity and crashed heavily back against the tree.
He stared blankly in my general location with a look of incomprehension on his face.

“Gran said that I’ve been heavily memory wiped.. possibly by my father.. I didn’t say anything to her about it but.. I think.. I think it might have affected my past-incarnations somehow too?”

John’s face crumpled up in pain.
I don’t need to guess why, to most awakened mages their memories are precious.
Even I can’t imagine living life without the memories that I DO have.

The idea of someone taking those memories away somehow.. it’s terrifying?!

“How can you tell that their gone?”
His voice sounded slightly hollow suddenly, as if he wasn’t sure what to do or say now.

“My memories have never really been THAT clear but since my second awakening I’ve seen what it feels like to actually bond with my past-incarnations in a normal way. The one’s that I’m suppressing with a mental avatar are there but.. not?..”

I’m not explaining this well!
..how can I..

“They ARE there but I can’t bring them forward unless I get a nudge in the right direction?”
That’s about as good as I’m going to get explaining it.
Magic’s hard to explain, mind magic’s even harder!

“With my current memories everything’s pretty much crystal clear and with the girls that I’ve bonded with their memories are clear now too but the rest.. most of them feel about as clear as my Al memories are honestly..”

I’m babbling.
I need to stop b-
..crap..

“You’re ‘Al memories’?”

A shock of fear went up my spine as John let the words roll off his tongue with such forced calm.
I didn’t mean to.. I shouldn’t have..
..CRAP! Crap, crapping.. crap!..

“What did you mean by your ‘Al memories’ Hann-”
He paused mid-sentence.
I almost didn’t want to look down at him and see the look on his face but part of me NEEDED to see it too.

When I finally gathered up my dwindling courage enough to peek at him I froze in surprise.
He didn’t look angry?
He looked confused.. confused and just a little bit amused too?

His eyes cleared and a smile slipped across his lips for a moment.
After another long second his head slid back and he laughed, long and loud.

My cheeks flushed automatically at the sound of it.
I could feel myself build up an angry head of steam at him pretty quickly.
This isn’t something to LAUGH about!

“Oh Hannah.. Hannah, Hannah, Hannah.. how can you be so smart and yet so blind?..”

My fists clenched down into tight painful fists in my anger.
He’s mocking me!

I hissed a breath through my teeth which didn’t help in the slightest.

In the end I stepped purposefully forward and took a hold of his shirt front to pull our faces closer.
With my voice in a dangerous whisper I glared at his laughing eyes.

“What.. is so funny about that?”
His hands came up to latch onto my wrists in the dark but I was beyond caring at this point.
“What’s so funny? Huh?! I don’t think it’s funny! It’s horrible!”

He started laughing again.
I snapped and swung a fist at his face.

His hand squeezed slightly down on my wrist and stalled the punch mid swing, seemingly without any effort at all.
His eyes opened and he stared directly into mine with a bright, cheerful sparkle in his gaze.

“I knew something was wrong. I knew you wouldn’t freak out over something minor.. I just didn’t think it would be something so stupid!”
The tension left my arms and despite my best efforts my eyes became a little damp behind my glasses.

..that hurt.. that really hurt..

Why does that hurt so much?
Why does it hurt to hear him call me stupid?!

John’s hands eased up my arms onto my shoulders and in a smooth movement he pulled me down so I would land on his lap.
I struggled against him weakly but my heart wasn’t really in it.
..that really hurt..

“Hannah.. despite what you may have convinced yourself of, you’re not a different person from Al.”
My shoulders surged up, away from him in response to my thoughts but John held on tightly so I couldn’t escape him.
“I’ve seen more awakening’s then you can ever imagine, I’ve even seen one’s like yours before.. ones where someone awakens again without being reborn first.. it’s not a true awakening Hannah.”

My muscles seemed to all give out at the same time.
I collapsed heavily against him and a sob escaped my lips from out of nowhere.

“You’re still Al. You’re brain chemistry, hormones and lines may be different but you’re still YOU.”

My chest heaved heavily with every breath I took.
That can’t be true?!

I’m different!
I’m not Al anymore!
I’m just.. I’m just Hannah.. useless, stupid Hannah..

“Cut away the emotional instability, cut away the self-doubt, the panic attacks, and all that’s left is you.. my best friend, Hannah nee Alistor Cooper.”

His chin came down and settled on top of my head.
My breath wouldn’t stop coming out in frantic pants but his presence and.. and his words.. they helped?

We both sat there silently for a while.
I tried to get my lungs to calm down and process what he’d said.

Is it possible?
Is it possible that he’s right?.. that I’m still Al just.. just a bit messed up?

My memories though?
My memories as Al are weaker now!.. ar.. aren’t they?

It feels like they are and I’ve been ignoring things I should know better about a lot since my awakening but.. how much of that is all in my head and how much is just me being a stubborn idiot?

I knew that I shouldn’t let my guard down just because I was home.. but I felt safe and I.. I ignored the voice in my head telling me to be careful so that I could be with Mum and Sarah again?..

I knew that I shouldn’t have trusted the Hub SWAT team that invaded our home too.. I was out of it because of John and I wasn’t thinking clearly but it didn’t feel right when they came in without announcing themselves and I.. I just didn’t react.. not until it was too late?..

“I’m not Al..”

John snorted a laugh and twitched his jaw on top of my head.
Obviously he heard that.

“If you’re not Al then I’m the Queen of Sheba.”

Despite myself.. despite everything going around in my head.. I cracked a smile.
How can he ALWAYS do that?!

When I’m at my worst and it feels like I can’t feel any worse, how can he just come waltzing in and with a few words make me smile?!

He was just like that in school!
If I was having a bad day, or especially if Sarah was being a bitch as we got older he..
In.. in school..

..I’m such an idiot!..

I was so busy focusing on all the memories that feel wrong, all the ones that are vague and hazy, lacking details in the most unimportant of ways..
I never looked to the memories that felt FINE!

Growing up..
Little things like watching TV with Sarah..
Messing around during class with John..
Homework..
Chores..
Mum..

All the important things that are so boring or seemingly unimportant that you forget you even did them.. I can remember them all perfectly!
..I’m.. I’m still me?..

What little fight was left in me gave out completely.
I collapsed on top of John and within moments I was laughing.
Loud, relieved laughs that made my chest hurt as they left my throat.

“I’m still me..”
John grunted from underneath me but didn’t make a move to push me off.
I settled myself so I wasn’t quite crushing him anymore and stare up at his face.
“..thanks John..”
His only response was another grunt.

“Really.. I needed to hear that..”
The asshole grunted again!

I could see his face now though and he looked about as relieved as I felt.

How long has he known that something’s been bothering me?
How long has he been trying to work out how to help me with whatever it was?

“Thanks John.”
He grunted again.
He’s such an asshole.. and I wouldn’t have it any other way..

We both lay against the tree, settling into a comfortable silence as the leaves rustled around us and a hint of conversation drifted over to us from the house.

..I’m still me..
I’m a total emotional mess.
I’m unstable and struggling to keep a clear head at times.
..but I’m still ME..

That’s possibly even better than finding a way to control my problems without the cuffs.
That was fun, and exciting, and challenging.. but this?..

This is awesome!

======

The noise near the house got slightly louder.
We perked up at the sound and shifted so we both had a clear view across the garden.
I slid my hands up and hit the switching runes, shifting my vision from night-vision, through magesight and back to normal vision.

The area we’re in feels so dark without night-vision on.
I’m not sure how John could stand sitting here like this for so long?
It’s not like I’m scared of the dark or anything, but it’s not exactly comfortable either.

A cheer went up from in front of us and the whole area was suddenly lit up by a bright flash of light.
I settled back into John’s warm body as the fireworks went off thick and fast.

The light of the fireworks burned shapes into my eyes long after they faded and they glared on my glasses every once in a while too, but even that was kind of nice?
..this is what fireworks are like for normal people..

It’s weird and awkward.
My eyes keep adjusting to the changing light levels poorly.
I can’t see each individual spark as it falls to the ground.. but it still feels kind of nice?..

I’m not normal in any way.
I’m never going to really BE normal.
..I’m still ME though..

Whether I call myself Hannah or Al or the ‘Queen of Sheba’.. I’m me?
I’m sitting here with my best friend, surrounded by nature and my newly extended family and it’s just.. it’s nice..

I think I’m going to take back my thoughts from earlier.
This trip and new family in general are totally worth it!

I’m even counting John in that too.. asshole that he is.

A rumble of awe came from the crowd by the campfire.
Seconds later I saw why when I huge firework went off filling the sky with red sparks all at once.

“This is nice.”

John grunted in response.
..asshole..