Secondhand Life - Part 46

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I joined Eoin and Matt in the coffee shop, and had Eoin brief us on 'what we missed'. I didn't let on that I had already been briefed by Dez, but wanted to see the expression on Matt's face if Eoin's description was anywhere as detailed as Dez's. I was not disappointed. If anything, Eoin's retelling was even more lurid and juicy, and Matt's expression was priceless.

“Now I'm wishing I'd stayed. I could have made a fortune with those photos!” he opined.

I shook my head. “Not likely. They weren't celebrities or politicians or religious leaders. Regular executives going berserk and acting badly? Not that rare a commodity, I would venture.”

Matt nodded and smiled. “Still, I'd love to have seen the aftermath. When all these folks who wanted to make like they were in their favorite raunchy teen comedy woke up the next day in someone else's underwear and no memory of the night before.”

“That's ONE sequel they won't be clamoring for” I laughed and was quickly joined by Matt and Eoin.

Eoin excused himself to 'seize the day' on our last full day in Hawaii. Matt and I lingered behind.

I squeezed his hand. “I'm really sorry you can't come along with us.” I said with my most sincere face, which then cracked a sardonic smile. “...but it is your own fault passport boy.”

Matt squeezed back. “Oh God. I don't think I could take the rest of the tour. We've only been here a few days and already I feel I've aged years.” he laughed.

“I warned you to buckle up.” I grinned, He just shook his head and smiled.

“You have a knack for understatement.” he chuckled.

We held the moment just a little longer. Each regarding the other.

“So you're heading back to Monterrey tomorrow? Everything is all set. Dennis called ahead and they're expecting you.” I smiled.

Matt wavered his head. “I was actually thinking of heading back with Nancy for a bit. She talked with her aunt and begged off the tour. I think she wants to head home and start getting things sorted out.” he smiled.

“That's a good thing right?”

Matt nodded. “I think so. Anyway, I can't go back to Toronto with her, but she got a ticket to Chicago then a flight to Toronto a few days later, so I figured I'd keep her company a day or so until her family comes to get her, they I'd fly back to California. ….if that's OK with you?”

“Your room's ready whenever you are.” I smiled. “It's good of you to keep Nancy company. She probably shouldn't fly alone.”

Matt cracked a sad smile. “That's just the thing. She's never alone. I didn't want her to fly with just the demons in her head to keep her company.”

I squeezed his hand tighter. “Wise.” Then I sat back in my chair and regarded him for a long while. It would have been awkward if he hadn't been doing the same.

“So, I guess this is it.” I smiled.

He shrugged. “You're still here for the rest of the day. Nancy and I don't leave until tomorrow night. It's not exactly the end.”

I nodded. “True. But there may be other people and it may be busy getting ready to ship out. This may be the last time we...” suddenly my mouth was dry and I was at a loss for words. I cupped his hand between mine. “Thank you....” I shook my head trying to take mental inventory, then I shook my head so he wouldn't notice the tears welling up in my eyes. I put my head down and regarded his hand in mine. Stroking his fingers with my thumb. If I looked at his hand I reasoned he couldn't see my tears. But of course he could hear them in my voice.

“Thank you for..... everything.” I finally choked out. Then I forced a smile and raised my eyes to his. “Go back to school and be the best shrink they've ever seen.... or if Nancy scared you off, be the best boob and ass man Hollywood has ever seen.” I pushed out a chuckle.

Matt pulled his hand from mine and brought it up to my chin. “Thank you.” he said, locking my gaze. “For the story I can never tell and the adventure I will never forget.”

I started an anguished laugh but he cut me off by leaning over the table and planting his face to mine in along languid kiss.

Oh crap.

I was stunned and torn and at a loss how to react.

I returned the kiss.

Screw it. I would deal with the repercussions later. I was taking the long way home, he was heading back to his life. Nothing would ever come of this. We would never see each other again. We just had this moment. I made it count.

Damn it.

It was sweet and tender and oh so melancholy and it was shredding me apart. We gently separated and he ever so ungraciously made a 'graceful exit', hobbling on his crutches while I stared at my coffee cup and fought mightily to pull myself together.

The people at the coffee shop were beyond gracious. They let me linger far longer than anyone should, and gave me the time to cobble myself together. The realization that I'd severely overstayed my welcome was my indication that I might be together enough to pull myself from the table and zombie back to my room, where I pretty much stayed for the remainder of our time in Hawaii.

Dennis saw my face as I came in and we didn't need to say a thing. He just scuttled ahead of me and turned down my bedsheets. He knew me so well, and I liked to think I kind of got him too. Katherine was so lucky to have him and I felt so guilty for keeping him while she was alone in Connecticut. I consoled myself with the thought that they would be back together in a matter weeks and suddenly became overwhelmed at the thought of saying goodbye to him.

My last day in paradise wasn't exactly stellar. I spent most of it wallowing in my own black hole of despair and the thought of everything around me ending. Of never seeing any of these people I had become so close to.... of never seeing any of them again. I took consolation that at least I still would have my cousin Mikey. Then I fell into an even deeper funk realizing that his goal was to return to L.A. and get a toe in the business, which seemed quite likely by now. That Greek guy really did seem interested in the project Mikey and Dennis pitched. And Dennis told me privately that Mikey really impressed NiNo, and he was pretty certain something would come out of that. I barked a bitter laugh at the thought that I would be all alone at home, starting a new life on my own terms. Quite likely with my family deciding I'm 'dead to them', while my cousin is back in California working side by side with Dennis on projects with Katherine and Costas and NiNo and Dez and God knows who else he met because I stepped into Katherine's world and he was by my side all the way. But he had a return ticket to that world.

It wasn't jealousy or envy. It was the bitter irony that a door had opened leading to promising possibilities for all but the one who opened it.

I was stewing in my own misery and Dennis, God bless him, left me alone with my dour thoughts. This was no way to spend the last day in paradise, but I did anyway and he had the grace to let me.

Well, mostly.

I spent most of the day wallowing in self-pity. It was late afternoon, or maybe early evening when I heard the gentle knock on my door.

“Sweetie?” Dennis asked ever so gently. “Can you come out?”

“Would you please go away?” I asked. I didn't have the heart to make anything a statement, let alone an order.

“No Hon. I'm afraid I can't. Can you come out please?”

I ignored him. He had the good grace to wait a long time before knocking again.

“Please come out? The doctor's here.”

Doctor?

I was devastated, but I wasn't..... I certainly didn't need a doctor. My morose self-pity was being displaced by resentment. Why on earth would someone call a doctor? I didn't need a doctor! My resentment turned to outright indignation and that motivated me to throw my covers to one side and leap from the bed to grab my robe and throw open the bedroom doors... which were never locked, so Dennis had been exceedingly courteous in letting me have my little petulant hermit moment.

My self pity had completely turned to ire as I stormed out into the suites living room to see Dennis standing with..

“Doctor Kari.... Kara....” damn I couldn't get it, and not just because I was stunned to see her.

“Janice. Remember?”

I nodded mutely. Suddenly there was a scramble in my mind as a thousand questions jockeyed for pole position in my speech center. But she beat me to it.

“Dale is unable to reschedule some prior commitments, so he asked if I'd come.” she smiled.

I cocked my head like a confused dog.

“Did you really wrestle a shark?” she asked. Her face showed a mixture of disbelief and wonder, since she had already shared with me her guilty obsession with Katherine's hijinx.

Dennis barked a laugh as I shook my head mutely.

“She just rode it.” Dennis laughed, relishing the bewildered look on Janice's face.

“It's a long story” I muttered.

“Still, it's one you'll want to hear.” Dennis laughed.

Janice looked at us, one to the other. She seemed to be trying to process things.

“Well, when word started to hit the nets, Dale and I talked, but he was sure it was just some Rashomon thing, with all the eyewitnesses saying something different. All crazy, but different. Then some photos and video started showing up on the magazine shows. And it was still crazy, but it was apparent that something had happened. Dale tried to reach you, but someone wouldn't put him through.” She shot Dennis a look that was disapproving in a mom way, but not actually angry.

“He was just protecting me. I had a rough night and he just... he just let me have the space.” I said quietly, smiling to Dennis, who for his part just nodded and blushed.

“That's what I told Dale.” She smiled at Dennis too. “And he DID give him the number of that photographer who took all those alarming pictures.”

“Matt.” I smiled. And the thought of him made me want to cry again. I quickly pivoted. “You remember him. ….from the ballgame? The USC student?”

Janice smiled and clucked her tongue. “Small world.”

I blushed.

“So he talked with Dale and agreed that it might be a good idea that you had someone to ….work through this... with.” she said gently. “Especially since he didn't have a passport and had to leave the tour at Hawaii.”

Oh crap. I was getting ready to blubber again. Damn it girl. Pull it TOGETHER!!!

“But he had some hard commitments, so he called me and asked a favor.” she smiled.

“Thank you.” I said in a small voice.

“It's my pleasure. ….and my delight.” she smiled. “I told you when we last met that I wouldn't rule out our paths crossing again. I had no idea how, but your journey has been so unexpected and so unpredictable, I really had a hard time believing it was goodbye...”

And I exploded into her arms clutching her tighter than emo Ani the Cheerful Tick, and buried my head into her shoulder with wracking sobs.

I'm sure I startled the hell out of her, but she took it amazingly well. She was patient while I regained my composure. We called room service and over dinner I spilled my guts out about my goodbye with Matt and my sense of approaching loss as the Katherine deception was coming to an end. I made it crystal clear, but she seemed to already understand that it wasn't the fame or the luxury or the excitement I was mourning but all the people I had come to know on this journey. And that they were the first ones... the only ones.... who ever knew the real me. And how devastated I was at the thought of them all being wrenched from my life.

I don't know how much Janice was being paid for this preposterous house call, but it wasn't nearly enough. She listened. She didn't judge. She showed immense patience and quiet wisdom when I'd stumble on an emotional gopher hole. She made it clear to me that I may be jettisoning Katherine's life in a few weeks, but I was not going to be abandoned. Not by her. Not by Dale. That had already been agreed upon with Katherine. Whatever collateral damage resulted from this extended ruse, they would be there to work through it with me.

She also took some blood.

“I talked with Dale.” she smiled. “Since there is a very short time until your Katherine role is over, I convinced him that getting some endocrine work started won't possibly disrupt the timetable.”

I thought I knew what she was saying, but didn't want to let myself believe it. I gave her perplexed face.

“You're not going to pop out a pair of boobs before you get to New Zealand” she grinned. “No matter HOW many hormones we give you.”

I smiled so wide it hurt, and I hugged her again. I saw her flinch when I came in, but she let me, and this time it was a gentle hug of gratitude, not a death-clench of abject despair.

“Thank you.” I whispered. “For this. For talking me off the ledge. For coming all this way.” I felt myself beginning to tear up again, but Janice's laugh snapped me out of it. I gave her a curious gaze as she just continued to chuckle at me.

“I'm dying to see your bloodwork, because if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were having your period right now.”

I laughed along with her, still wiping the tear from my eye and wrestling back a sea of conflicting emotions.

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Comments

Having your period right now......

D. Eden's picture

Yeah, been there, done that.

I'm so cyclic it's kind of hilarious. Even the girls that work in my office have figured it out, lol.

Of course, I didn't get that way until well into my HRT. Apparently, Elsie has a bit of a head start!

I coyldn't sleep tonight and was sitting up reading. Something told me to check for any new postings, and there this was! So glad I looked.

Like Elsie, I am beginning to dread the end of this story. It has been an exciting and fun ride, Hon. Thanks for sharing so many laughs and a few tears with me.

Dallas

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Sadness!

Christina H's picture

I agree with Dallas's comments a very soul searching episode and like her I am have my own monthly cycles which confused the hell out of me when they started.

My sadness is also tinged with the knowledge that this wonderful story must be finishing soon but I really hope that we find out how KC's life pan's out.

Great story thanks for your hard work.

Christina

secondhand life

What happened to part 46?

If I were a more ambitious soul...

...I would 'make lemonade' and insert something between Parts 45 and 47 and make it appear I just posted out of order.

But my muse has hung a Do Not Disturb sign on her knob, so I'm forced to admit that I can't count.

(Please do not share this info with the I.R.S.!)

I just renumbered the installment.

...missed opportunity... I could have cut away to Katherine terrorizing townfolk in the Nutmeg State, or just who and what distracted Dale so that he had to send Janice.... or just roam around the jungle of idiosyncrasies that is the cluttered, conflicted mind of Nancy Berube.

But NO..... The muse wouldn't come when called (she never does - like antic Ani, she just shows up when least expected)

....so I just renumbered the chapter. :-(

I am a sloth disguised as a human. :-P

K@

Well... considering that she

Well... considering that she's been on testosterone blockers, that only leaves whatever trace estrogens are present to have their effect. So I'm wondering what the tests will show. I suspect it'll be a DNA test as well as the standard blood workup.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Oh, you caught that, huh? :-)

As usual. The readers are ahead of me.

And you ALL are far better at counting!

Thanks not just for reading, but for reading between the lines!

You make it such a joy to write and share this stuff,

K@

At least you make the gaps

At least you make the gaps between the lines nice and large for those readers with eye problems. :)


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Least they can do

First, we have an employee injured on the job. Two, they (Dez and Katherine) are going to reap at least in the high tens of millions from all of Elsie's antics. The 6 figure payment she'll receive will be a pittance by comparison.

But, yes, it is great that she will get support in her time of need.