Yes, Mr President

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There are an awful lot of decisions to make when you're an incoming president.

Author's Note: This is a light-hearted work of fiction and bears no relation to what really goes on in the White House – I think!
Copyright© Lin Dale 2017

Yes, Mr President
by Lin Dale

"OK, just before I close down your entire fucking department, explain why I've been informed I should talk to you first."

"Yes, Mr President. Unbeknown to the previous president, we have been doing biological weapons research on live human subjects. Criminals, homosexuals, transsexuals, immigrants. People like that."

"Holy shit! That is fucking incredible. What have you discovered?"

"Firstly, we have isolated the combination of genes which identifies Arabs."

"A-rabs? That's another name for fucking Muslims, isn't it?"

"Arab Muslims are the largest…"

"OK, don't bore me with fucking details. What else?"

"We have developed a highly contagious carrier virus which can be directed to attack certain combinations of genes, whilst protecting others, which means we can target specific races. By putting spray dispensers on every American plane, we could quickly spread it throughout the world."

"So we could kill every fucking A-rab in the world without risking Americans?"

"I wouldn't advise that, Mr President. The world would be waist deep in dead Arabs. There'd be vermin and disease; it would take years to clean it up."

"What could we do?"

"We have also developed a virus which will attack testosterone in the body and turbo-boost oestrogen. Within a week, males will lose all heterosexual interest, they'll start to develop breasts and their genitals will reduce in size. Within a year, they will be fully-developed infertile females – incidentally, with massive breasts. Males and females alike will lose all signs of aggression and antagonism; they will only want to please men and bear children, which even the genetic females will be unable to do in their own country as there will be no fertile males left."

"Big breasted females, you say? And you could target this at a specific genetic group, such as A-rabs?"

"Yes, indeed, Mr President. The laboratory can target any genetic group."

"I could pass a law which said that – hang on, let me think… Yes we could pass a law which said that in order to identify people who'd had the disease, they would have to wear distinguishing garments, such as translucent harem pants and veils."

"Excellent suggestion, Mr President. Er, do we have your permission to proceed?"

"Go ahead."

"Yes, Mr President."


"Well, Ahmad. Did he buy it? Why are you pulling such a strange face?"

"He certainly did, Abdul. But I'm trying to imagine the President in translucent harem pants. It's a most disturbing thought."

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Absolutly funny!!!!

This was an awsome laugh first thing in the morning. It will be on my mind all day. LOL

Love the twisted ending

A plot like this could have easily been seen in a Twilight Zone or Outer Limits episode!

Great job and stab at the worst problem that everyone across the world faces. Prejudice has always been the greatest problem we face in the world.

We all to often forget that it is not a matter of who is right and who is wrong, it's a matter of accepting others even though they have different and sometimes opposing views.

Remember that it's much easier to get another to listen to and possibly accept your views when they have seen you listen to and try to understand their opposing views.

We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

Okay, very funny. Just

Okay, very funny. Just remember DT is a supporter of GLBTG's


Hmm ...

... I'll bite. What is the second G for?


Hold on there..

He is definitely not.

The Only President We Have...

TheCropredyKid's picture not a supporter of anything except Donald Trump.


I love it!

Trumped Trump! I love it!

Reminds me ...

of a short short sci-fi story which ends 'if any of you are white then we now have the cure.'
Nice little story somewhat with a flwvour of the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Harem Pants

Hmmm. There have been suggestions that he won't attend the inauguration. Maybe that's why.


Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Oh, Come On!

Daphne Xu's picture

Why didn't they create that before?

-- Daphne Xu