Reflections 2

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Reflections 2
Author Samantha Ann

A short story for Valentine`s day

The story has been posted as Reflections on Valentine’s Day and in honesty feel It could have been improved.

I have reviewed the story and tweaked, pulled and pushed it this way and that to this version, correcting some spelling and grammar errors.

Thanks also to Erin for her advice when I was deciding whether to leave the original story available for readers to compare, both are still available.

As usual comments are appreciated as they all help me to improve my writing abilities.

Thank you all,

- - -

The mirror on the wall sees all and hides nothing.

- - -

He comes again looking sad and seems to have lost his way and all interest in life as the
mirror on the wall reflects all in his room.

She comes again looking happy and contented with her life, happy within herself as the mirror on the wall reflects all in her room.

- - -

He Standing in his bedroom the one door of the wardrobe is missing altogether the other hanging on for dear life by it last remaining hinge, the hanging rail sloping with his suits and jackets crushed together.

She standing in her Bedroom the wardrobe is white with flowery decor just to add that feminine touch the doors and drawers closed and fitting properly. Her dresses hung on soft padded hangers, her shoes together in the bottom of the wardrobe.

- - -

His drawers of the small bedroom unit all open with items in total disarray scattered all over the floor, as if he just had been burgled, he would not know if he had or had not been.

Her chest of drawers, likewise all closed and tidy with bras, panties, stockings, and suspenders, folded neatly in their correct places. The vanity unit and stool in the same style of the wardrobe, her makeup, and hairbrushes neat and tidy laid out to hand for ease of use.

- - -

His bed typical of most males is unmade and the carpet needs replaced it has seen better times.

Her bed is a canopy style with pink drapes and pillows neatly made as soon as she raises for the day.

- - -

He Five foot four inches in height, the mouse brown hair straggly, uncombed, heaven only knows when that face had a shave never even a face cloth. His hands are ragged and the nails broken and dirty.

She Five foot four inches in height, her hair style is a soft gentle wave, mouse blonde cooler looked after with her regular visits to her hair stylist, as is her hands and nails with a soft light red polish.

- - -

His light blue eyes dull and almost lifeless at what he is.

Her light blue eyes highlighted by her mascara and the eye shadow shine and sparkle.

- - -

His body so out of condition the inevitable pot belly appears as he has grown older.

Her body is trim and fit with her and the occasional visit to the gym and diet, as she grown older has blossomed sure of herself and the choices she has made.

- - -

Today is Valentine’s Day and he really makes the effort on his appearance.

Today is Valentine’s day and she makes a special effort in her appearance

- - -

He now shaved and hair combed neatly, refreshed from his shower returns to the room to dress.

She has treated herself with a long soak in her scented bubble bath now feeling pampered and relaxed returns to the room to dress.

- - -

He stands in an almost new Dark Blue suit with the standard white long sleeved shirt and matching tie to the suit, his shoes polished to a high shine, checking himself in the mirror almost happy with, retaining some pride in his appearance, turns and picks up that bunch of roses and leaves the room.

She dressed for the evening her corset aids her trim figure with her dress reaching to midcalf, her necklace sits comfortably between her breasts drawn a little to attention to her cleavage. Her heels add some three inches to her height. Checking herself in the mirror happy with her appearance, the doorbell rings, her date for the evening has arrived, taken the bunch of roses from him, pops them in some water, collecting her coat and handbag (purse) leaves the room.

- - -

This is who I am not that male who was unhappy and unsure, I am happy, I am me, I am woman.

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Comments

Much, much better

A definite improvement.
Not being sure of my powers of recall, I went back to the original version to compare. Given your introduction, you had made that possible, thankyou, though you would have been within your rights to have withdrawn that first attempt.

Thank You

Thank you outsider for you generous comment

I left the original posted for others to compare

Love

SamanthaAnn

Lovely

This is a really beautiful short story, very heartfelt. Thank you for this Sam

Thank You

Thank you Lizzy for reading the story and leaving a comment

Love

SamanthaAnn