This is an interactive story, Allie now lives as a girl, but still has problems
Last week’s poll:
1. He said nothing, He really did not know the question or trust his aunt yet - 17%
2. He said he was a boy and hated when people treated him like a girl. He only let them do it so they would like him 18%
3. He said he wanted to be a pretty boy. He knew he was a boy, but liked girls things that would make him look pretty 27%
4. He said he is a girl inside and a boy outside. He had a boy’s body but knew he was a girl despite this 38%
Was I a sissy? I remember people always called me that in the trailer park
Aunty came in and gave me a hug. She said it looked like she would be staying home today. We did not need a governess like her. She then told me she had a question and she hoped I would be honest. She explained that she now knew me a bit and she knew me from mom’s letters
She took a breath and asked
“Do you think you are a boy or girl?”
I sat up in the bed. Did she not see that I had a boy’s body? I was a boy, and why did she ask such a question? I was also wondering what mom wrote in the letters. Did she say that others always called me sissy and girly? Did she write that I asked for a doll last Christmas? Did she write that she called me princess?
I clung on to my teddy bear and looked into my aunts eyes. Could she read my thoughts? I never did feel like a boy, and I was never accepted by the other boys. I always wanted to play with the girls. I admired their clothes and toys and even the way they thought. The few friends I had were girls. I was often jealous of them. They had the right body.
I looked around the room and wondered if she would love me more as a girl. She never said she would change the bedroom.
I looked at my aunt again. Could I trust her? Would my answer make her think I am a freak and would she lock me up? I could feel a tear running down my eyes and my heart beating fast. I looked in her eyes. They were mom’s eyes. I knew I could have answered my mom. I also knew that mom never needed to ask. She knew me so well.
“I am a girl”
She hugged me and said it takes courage. She explained that some children have a boy’s body, but they know that they are girls. She gave me a tighter hug and repeated that it’s good I have the courage to admit it. My face was wet with my tears, as I felt that she knew what was deepest inside me. She didn’t think I was bad or crazy. She was giving me hugs.
Aunty was now brushing my hair, which I loved. She smiled saying that she supposes this means no haircut. I smiled back and did not say a word. Telling her that I wanted to be a girl was enough talking for me. Aunty did all the talking; telling me that some parents would think I was sick.
However, she would support me. She told me that from this day on, I would be a girl. She continued brushing as she said I would be a girl in every way except my body, and this could also be changed.
She tucked me in bed. This was a noisy event, as every time I moved, the rubber sheets made so much noise. She told me I looked cute with the pacifier and smiled, saying that she now had a niece
“Good night Allie” she said.
I looked at the poster of Cinderella. I was now to be treated like a girl. I was a girl with a… a …. penis. My aunt decided I was no longer Alexander, but now I was Allie. I did not know what to think of all this. It was all of a sudden. I mean this morning I woke up as a boy and now I was a girl. I suppose it was my fault, as I did admit that I thought I was a girl. My aunt did not ask me if I wanted to be seen as one or lived like a girl. It was not her fault. I told her I was a girl. I just had to get used to it.
Alexander was now buried with my mom. I closed my eyes and fell asleep thinking what my mom would think.
I woke up early the next morning. It was the same as the day before. I wet my bed. Everything was wet and cold. I felt so dirty. Everything was also quiet. Where was aunty? I sat up in my bed and started crying. The fact that I was crying made me cry more, as it made me feel bad that I cried over nothing and I was 9 years old! Whatever the case was, I sat on the wet bed crying my head off.
Aunty came and gave me a hug smiling saying she noticed I do not like being alone. She told me it can because all the changes in my life. I nodded as she changed my wet clothes and gave me a bath. I was smiling once again as I loved the bubbles. I also splashed water on my aunt. I was once again smiling.
I was given the same overall I had when I came to live with my aunty. She put my hair in a ponytail and put some sandals on me. I looked in the mirror. I looked like a tomboy. Then I remembered that I am a girl. I can say that now, because aunty also thinks I am a girl. We were going down town, because she said I needed lots of things so I would be pretty like a girl should be,
Being in a shop full of girl clothes was strange for me. I was hoping no one would notice that I was fully not a girl. At the same time, it was like being in heaven. All the pretty clothes! Aunty told me to look around and pick some clothes, but she reminded me that the clothes were to be age appropriate and nothing a slut would wear. I did not know what she meant until I showed her a bikini. She gave me an annoyed look and said girls my age should only wear one piece swimming suits.
She was putting loads of clothes into a cart and humming as she was doing this. It would have been easier if she bought the shop. Another woman was there with a girl my age. I looked down as I was shy. It was the first day I was being seen as a girl. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was known as a boy until today. The girl’s mother told my aunt that she is lucky I do not complain about the clothes. She said her daughter would have a fit about most of the clothes my aunt found, as they would be too childish for her. Then the woman had a smile on her face and apologized, seeing some diapers. She said she did not realize that my aunt had a younger daughter. My aunt told her my name was Allie and I was her only niece. The girl looked at me and I knew I was blushing so much. I was told that her name was Sarah
That night, aunty was brushing my hair before bed. I was wearing a new night dress. It was white and had pink lace. My panties had a picture of Barbie on them. I wanted to ask her why she bought diapers. I didn’t ask as I figured that she forgot all about them and I definitely did not want to remind her. I couldn’t get a word in edge ways. She was telling me how proud she was about my first day being a girl. She said there was still a long way to go. It would not be easy.
I told her I felt happy today, especially when I put on a blouse and skirt when we came home. I told her I felt so pretty and I knew then that I was meant to be a girl. My aunt smiled and asked did I go to the toilet, as it was time for bed. I told her I would go before she tucked me in. My aunt told me that girls sit and do not stand.
I wet the bed that night as well. I woke up with the same anxiety I had the days be-fore. My night dress was wet and I went to auntie’s room to see if she was asleep. She was not there. I panicked and sat on the floor bawling my eyes out. Where was my aunt? I was alone!
My aunt came up the stairs and picked me up. She sighed when she seen I was wet once again. She told me she would never leave me alone. I was crying and could not stop. It only helped when she put a pacifier in my mouth and gave me a bubble bath.
After, she put a dress in me that was pastel coloured, and a lacy collar. I had panties on and some white tights. I felt so pretty. I felt like an angel with the clothes on. It was like they felt I was wrapped with a pink cloud and they made me so pretty. Aunty put my hair in bushy pigtails and said we had to visit the school and register me. I was afraid and aunty told me to take Bella with me, so I would not be so afraid
A few hours later we were in the Head Mistresses office. She was told that I was not used to schools, as I was a trailer child. The head mistress said they had a special class that may suit me. Then auntie said that may be good as I still wet the bed. We were told that if I wet at school, I would have to wear diapers.
The head mistress asked why my papers said Alexander. I wanted the earth to swallow me. She was told that I was born as a boy but had a gender identity disorder, where I was a girl with a boy’s body. My aunt asked was this a problem, as she did not want people to know I had a boy’s body. The head mistress looked confused.
“I am a girl” I said. They both looked at me in a strange way. It was then I saw that I wet myself and a puddle was on the floor
The head mistress looked back at my aunt and said she understood, and she would do her best to keep my secret a secret.
I took off my wet tights as then it was hard to see I was wet. I waited outside the office as my aunt and the head mistress
The girl I met the day before at the shop came to me and started speaking. She said it was nice that a new girl was starting at school and she hoped we could be best friends. I smiled and told her I really never had a friend before. Sarah shrugged her shoulder and pointed out she could smell and see that I wet myself. She asked was I wearing a diaper she seen my aunt buy the day before. I shook my head. She sighed and gave me a hug saying she will not tell people I wet the bed, but it would be bad if I had wet clothes at school.
That night, aunty said she had to ask me something. She noticed I wet myself in bed and at sometimes during the day. She also noticed that I needed her all the time and hated being alone. She said I was now a girl, maybe I needed to start over.
Which of the following was auntie’s suggestion?
1. Diaper and crib: “I think you need to wear a diaper. I think we should also put a crib in my room so you can sleep. The crib will make you more secure.”
2. Nursery Room: “I think you need a diaper sweetie, and we will let you start again as the princess you are. We will change your room to a girl’s nursery. It means you can grow up and blossom to a sweet girl.”
3. Bedroom: “I think you need to wear diapers at night. We can also put a two way intercom in your room, where you can speak with me when you need to. We should go to the doctor to find why you are wetting
4. Boarding school. “I have missed work so much and you need a lot of attention. I have a friend who is good at treating boys… I mean girls like you. You should go to The Pink Academy”
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