Tammy:Aftermath - Part 4 "The Future"

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 Aftermath  

Part
 
Four

 

"The Future"

 

 
Wednesday 31st August 2016
 

Tammy had spent the days since the weekend trying to resume an ordinary life, meeting her friends and making new ones. She had also found time to help Sarah on Monday and Tuesday, back behind the counter in the clothes shop where Tammy was discovered. Of course, it hadn't taken long for word to get around and business had been brisk - even if Tammy had been repeating the same modified life history for the past few hours. Her desk job, she explained, wasn't that exciting and she needed to get on with her life.

By the end of Tuesday she was tired, but happy. This was as far from her other life as was possible. To reinforce this, she was also regularly leaving both weapons in the safe but wondered when she might have to hand them back.

"Good morning Tammy, I see that your prescription is up for renewal?"

"Yes, Dr Adi, I'm almost out."

"Okay, lets get some bloods and do your vitals."

Tammy was used to these tests and had lost count of the number of times she'd shed blood in the name of medical science. The doctor printed out the prescription and signed it.

"Your BP is a little above normal but your weight is down six kilos from our last records."

"Yeah."

"Tammy, my guess is that's not down to dieting?"

"No, bad eating practices and stress, lots and lots of stress."

"What kind of stress?"

"Being in bad situations. I'm not sure if I should say this but do you remember that coffee shop shooting in April in London?"

"Yes."

"I was there, having a coffee."

"That's harrowing."

"Well, I took out at least one of the attackers."

"Oh!"

"Yes, the aftermath of that day rumbles on, to now and will keep rumbling on."

"There was an incident at the inquest, last week?"

"Yes, my solicitor was killed."

"The newspaper said that the attacker died at the scene?"

"I shot him as he was about to kill me."

"You seem very calm, Tammy."

"You're the first real person I've talked to about this, I have been through the mill with police, psychologists, shrinks, internal inquiries. I've lost all emotion, I'm afraid to say."

"You weren't arrested?"

"No, I have a special authority."

"Licence to kill, Jane Bond?"

"No, permission to defend myself if I or others are threatened."

"I'm booking you an appointment with Dr Kaufman."

"I can't talk to him, not allowed."

"But you're talking to me."

"I was told months ago that you had been checked, sorry, and please don't put anything I said in my medical history as you will almost certainly get a visit from some suited gentlemen."

"Okay, but without a shadow of a doubt, you are not fit for work. I'm signing you off for three months for exhaustion and stress. My guess is that the bloods will tell us even more."

"Okay."

"You're not arguing?"

"No, I've become too detached and it's affecting me."

"I'd still like you to see Dr Kaufman?"

"Sorry, no."

"Well, that much I will record, but not your reasons." Dr Adi took a pad and wrote out Tammy's sick note. "This will take you to the thirtieth of November but I want to see you again on Friday at nine, we'll have the result of the bloods by then. I also want to do a fasting test so no food or drink after eight on Thursday evening."

"It's my twentieth birthday on Thursday."

"Sorry, if you're depressed then alcohol is not the answer."

"That's not what I meant, what if I'm invited out for dinner?"

"Okay, I'll see you on Friday but come back on Saturday morning for the blood test, you'll see a nurse, not me."

"Okay." Tammy put the sick note and prescription in her bag.

"Please try to relax and don't think about going back to London, it sounds too dangerous."

Tammy's next stop was the salon.

"Oh dear, Tammy, who did this?"

"It was up near Old Street Tube Station, Sandy."

"Wherever that is, okay how are we going to repair this?"

"I'm in your hands."

"You should have booked a double slot."

"I had enough trouble booking this slot!"

"Oh, the apprentice? She's finished here."

"I think I'm booked to see Joanne as well."

"She's clear at the moment, go in there and we'll book you in for tomorrow."

"It's my birthday tomorrow."

"Then we'll give you a new look." She checked the bookings. "I'll get down here at eight, don't be late!"

"Thanks Sandy."

The half an hour with Joanne passed quickly, Tammy even consented to a Bikini wax.

"When was the last time?"

"When you did it at the end of last summer!"

"Oh dear, Tammy, I hope you won't wait that long again?"

"It looks like I'll be in town for a while, Dr Adi's just signed me off."

"Oh, serious?"

"Stress, but she's checking my bloods."

"Don't take any chances with your health, Tammy."

"I don't intend to."

She certainly felt better when she left the salon. Sandy had taken pity on her and snipped her hair into a slightly more presentable style - a halfway house. The changes were enough for Tammy to head back into Sarah's Boutique, as a customer. She had a positive spring in her step.

"What's up with you?"

"I need another frock, for tomorrow."

"Okay, but that doesn't excuse your change in attitude?"

"Dr Adi signed me off, I no longer have to decide if I'm going back to London - she made that decision for me."

"Oh, what about work?"

"I'll tell them when I get home, I can see a few interesting conversations ahead."

"Are you available on Saturday?"

"Sure, I don't think the Doctor will object to retail therapy, from behind the counter!"

Sarah laughed, "that's the Tammy I remember!"

"Let's see what a little R&R will do?"

"How long?"

"Three months."

"Blimey, Tammy, she must really be concerned."

"I think I need a tape measure, apparently I've lost six kilos."

"That's thirteen pounds, nearly a stone, no wonder!"

A minute later they had their answer. "You're a borderline size twelve to fourteen. Up top you need a fourteen but skirts and trousers you can wear a twelve, depending on the cut."

"Do you have any of Annie's dresses?"

"She dropped some in this morning, I haven't had a chance to put them out front yet, come into the store."

Tammy's eyes settled on an oriental design. When she tried it on it fitted perfectly, leaving very little wriggle room.

"It's lovely."

"Dry clean only, judging by the material, there's silk in it."

"It's perfect for tomorrow."

"If you put that weight back on you won't be able to get into it again."

"It's a risk I'll take. How much is it?"

"It's a birthday present."

"Are you sure, it must be two hundred?"

"If it puts a smile on your face then it's worth it."

"Thank you."

"I look at you and I can't remember that scared schoolboy."

"Neither can I. I was always a girl, Sarah, you saw that before anyone else."

Next stop was the Sutherland pharmacy, where Tammy exchanged her prescription for a six month supply of birth control tablets.

When Tammy made it home, only Pru was indoors. Tammy politely asked her PA to vacate the study so she could do some confidential work. She fired up the encrypted phone and called Jenny.

"Ah, I was going to call you to say the inquest has been rescheduled."

"Well they'll have to do without me."

"What?"

"I've been signed off for three months by my GP."

"I see, I'll need the certificate."

"I can fax it now?"

"Sure."

A minute later Jenny was looking at it. "Exhaustion and Stress?"

"I've lost nearly a stone in weight and she's concerned about my blood, I've done one test and I have to return to do another."

"Did you write up your reports on last week's incident?"

"You know I did."

"I didn't see them, oh you were cleared for field work but I guess that's irrelevant now."

"Indeed."

"Were you prescribed anything?"

"Only the pill."

"No anti-depressants?"

"No."

"What about referrals?"

"No."

"Remember that the Official Secrets Act applies even if you're discussing your medical history."

"Yes, I know."

"Okay, Tammy, keep me informed but don't be surprised if Human Resources call."

She shut the phone down and went in search of Pru, finding her in the kitchen with Zara.

"Sorry about that, I've just told work that I'm signed off sick."

"So you'll be here for dinner?"

"Yes, Zara, and possibly for the foreseeable future."

"Lunch?"

"I haven't had anything, can I just have a sandwich? I'm going up to shower."

Tammy spent longer in the shower than was strictly necessary but it felt good against her waxed legs. She conditioned her hair as well, she'd become used to using a 2-in-1 shampoo as it was a race to get out of bed and into the office, wherever that was on any given day. Just for good measure, she repeated the conditioning.

She checked over her body, something that she often didn't do, before donning her undies and looking for something to wear. A sandwich was on her desk, along with a bottle of water.

She sat quietly and wondered where all this was heading. For once she felt like she was in control, but she still didn't know where to drive the juggernaut that was her life.

She needed to make a call.

"Dave?"

"Yes, Tammy, I've heard. How are you?"

"Medically speaking, exhausted and stressed."

"That's not surprising given all that's been happening."

"Hallelujah!"

"Look Tammy, I've done operational work and I was there last Tuesday, there were real concerns for you and I didn't agree you were fit for field work."

"I couldn't have sat pushing paper clips around, not again."

"No, there's other options."

"Such as?"

"Well, what do you really want to do?"

"I want to study, get my degree and become a better person. Then I want to work."

"Okay, leave that with me."

"What will you do?"

"Make some enquiries and tell a few people words they don't want to hear."

"Okay, when will I hear back?"

"I won't call you on your birthday, and I have more sense than to bother you the day after, make sure your phone's off!"

"I think I need another phone."

"Not a bad idea and don't let anyone in the office have the number!"

"Sure."

Tammy felt better when she walked back down, finding Joan and Richard coming in the back door.

"How did it go with the Doctor?"

"Let's talk in the lounge."

Tammy waited until the door was closed and they were sat.

"Firstly, the Doctor is concerned with me physically and mentally and she's signed me off work until November. I have done a blood test and I'm down for another on Saturday, those are to check for any other problems."

"Mentally?" Asked Richard.

"Stress. I've lost a lot of weight and it's a concern."

"Okay, Tammy, you don't seem too worried about this?"

"No, I was thinking about resigning but that would make it difficult to go back later on. The sick note means I don't have to make a finite decision right now."

"Resign, but you enjoyed the work?"

"Yes, Dad, but this past fortnight has shown me that I'm being pushed around, possibly because I'm young, and that they don't have my best interests to the fore. That impacts both of you and Suzie too."

"What's your plan then?"

"Dave Brown is talking to some people in London and may come up with an offer, in the meantime I'll work out what I can do that won't upset Dr Adi."

"I could do with an assistant at the school, Tammy? Tanya's pregnant again and this time has taken unpaid leave."

"Sorry mum, but I think we'd just wind each-other up! Lori's still in town, give her a call."

"Her clearance will still be valid. I need someone now as Tanya only told me this morning."

"Great timing, I haven't been able to get hold of her."

"Don't, she's not good fun."

"Sandy didn't say anything either, Mum."

"I'm sure she'll call when she's ready."

 

 
Thursday 1st September 2016
 

Tammy woke to find balloons tied to her bed, how did they do that? After visiting her ensuite necessarium she started to open the cards. One that surprised her was from Tara, her natural mother. The postmark was London, so she was still in the UK but there was no return address.

Cathy had invited all the Smarts to dinner so that took care of the evening. Tammy meanwhile had to get down to the salon where sandy was waiting.

"Only five minutes late!"

"Sorry, the traffic wasn't brilliant."

"Okay, we're going to do a hot oil to try to put some life back into this head of yours."

"Fine."

By nine there was certainly a sheen that Tammy hadn't seen for a few months. Sandy had also cut it back into a bob, it was certainly a change.

Back at home she had some work to do; this was to be the first day of the rest of her life. She called the University of the Highlands and Islands and asked if she could return to the business course she'd abandoned the previous Autumn, but the new course was already full.

That hurt, but all the applications had been decided weeks earlier.

She went back through the UHI website until one course caught her eye:

Sociology and Criminology BA (Hons)*

This was a four year course based in Thurso with plenty of home study and spare time. She went through the online application and found there was space and that her qualifications were adequate although she would need to be interviewed, the site told her, and this was confirmed in an email.

At lunchtime the mail arrived, including more cards. One was from Jenny, another from friends in Cornwall. One medium sized package bore airmail stamps.

"This one is from America. Who do you know from there?"

"I'm not sure. What's the address?"

Joan read. "P.O. Box 1142. Arlington, Virginia."

"Kerri." Tammy laughed and opened it up to find a shoebox containing 4" black court shoes and a note:

Hope you like the Christian Louboutain black T-strap pumps! Happy Birthday from 'Kerri'

"Who's Kerri?"

"Oh, I worked with her once, she told me then I needed higher heels."

Her other presents varied, clothes of course, but plenty just provided gift certificates for stores and online; what do you get the girl who has everything?

Dinner was a polite affair, but that suited Tammy right now. There were plenty of compliments for her hair and her frock. Daisy and Florence were perfect, as usual.

 
Friday 9th September 2016
 

Tammy walked out of the Thurso College and back to her car. It had only taken ten minutes to secure her place on the course after DI Kevin Edmunds had supplied a document attesting to Tammy's internship with the Metropolitan Police during the previous six months.

It was Dave Brown who came up with the solution, one that satisfied the HR department at MI5, Dr Adelaide Sutherland, Tammy and her parents, amongst others.

The sick note was reduced to two weeks but Tammy would be placed on a sabbatical during term time, reporting to MI5 or the Met for courses at Easter and during the summer. Her university course, which was relevant to her employment, would be paid for by the agency and she would be awarded funds to support herself. So, in two weeks, she'd be an ordinary student again.

The only other stipulation was that she had to work for a minimum of two years on completion of her Honours Degree, but that was four years in the future. It was a small price for the comparative safety of Thurso and the benefits to her health over the next few years.

She hadn't come out of this unscathed, but she had come out of it with a future and, right now, that's all that mattered.

 

Aftermath is dedicated to the law enforcement, security and intelligence personnel who protect our countries and our families. They do so at great personal risk and with little thanks. Their 'behind the scenes' work isn't given the same media exposure as the major operations but is still as vital. They know that even if there are no victims, there are still casualties.
 

* Tammy's course - https://www.uhi.ac.uk/en/courses/ba-hons-sociology-and-crimi...

Authors note: There will be an epilogue!

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Comments

Firstie!

Alecia Snowfall's picture

I'm first! yay me! looks like Tammy had a happy birthday!

quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall

Tammy can be herself again!

Well, our heroine can take a breather and restart her studies at the University of Highlands and Islands. Perhaps she can have a semblance of a normal life at university.

And maybe, just maybe, she'll have another chance to direct a play or even to go onstage herself.

Please let this young woman have a little joy before she becomes any more jaded and unfeeling!

Anam Chara

A bit of support here?

Shooting someone is traumatic, even if the effects are not felt right away. Not sure if the lack of support and the hounding by the shrinks is real or perceived.

Nice episode.

*looks around*

Alecia Snowfall's picture

*looks around and giggles like a maniac*

quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall

Serendipitous

joannebarbarella's picture

Tammy's trip home turned out to be a real opportunity for a fresh start. I think her course in Sociology and Criminology will be far more suited to her talents than the earlier Business Studies and it keeps her out of the firing line (Ha! Ha! I'll believe that when I see it) for four years.

I do hope we'll see her again in the not-too-distant future. It has been a great ride. The Perils of Pauline had nothing on this girl.

"for the comparative safety of Thurso"

WillowD's picture

I seem to remember that someone did some statistics and determined that Thurso was about 4 times as exciting when Tammy was around. So much for "comparative safety".

Once again, thanks for the story.

Sure to get more done on leave

Maybe our heroine will get some person time now. What a week she has had. She should stay close to her guns, though. I see some evil doers on the horizon because this is a Shiraz story (big grin).

Like where we are going.

Santacruzman

I have to agree with WillowD and Santacruzman.

Ever since Tammy started living full time, she has been in one fracas after another. Tammy just seems to draw trouble to her, usually escaping by the skin of her teeth as the expression says.

Perhaps she could have time enough to do her new course without any incidents, but I sure wouldn't bet on it.

It has taken years here in

It has taken years here in the US to get Police Officers and Police Departments to come to the acknowledgement that they NEED to have Psychologist on call for whenever there is a super stressful incident such as the ones Tammy just went through. People need to be able to talk about how they are feeling; and that it being "macho" all the time just does not cut it when it comes to a person's mental health.
Statistics bear out the fact that over 90% of Police Officers who fire their guns and kill someone will generally not be on the Force within 5 years of the incident. That is a definite loss of talent that should never happen, but does because some believe it is better to "bottle up" their feelings than being perceived as being a weak person by speaking to someone professionally about them.

Psychologist

The quality of the help offered varies wildly, budget restraints and attitude of both the brass and the officers will contribute to the ultimate effectiveness of the program.

The problem with psychological assistance is the way men are brought up. They aren't being told they don't have to bury the feelings they have. And the ones that do tell them to unload are those mystical quack doctors that are always asking "And how does that make you feel?" Irresistible force meets immovable object, this is not a battle that will be over quickly. I kept getting variations of that question until I told the doctor "How does it make me feel? I dunno, I thought that was your job, to tell me how I feel." I never told them their questions made me wish for a big mallet.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Traffic

For a moment there I wondered how bad can traffic be in a town the size of Thurso - but shit happens, I know. I live in a small town and sometimes I get bogged down by a combined harvester or tractor :D

You surprised me about myself

Your closing dedication put a major "lump" in my throat.
Thanks -- without any cynicism,
Dave

Thank you Shiraz,

'for what has been a delightful and well written piece of fiction with lots of ' real world pieces ' that some of us understand .
You are a very special writer and a very special person . I look forward to where your muse takes you .

<em></em>

She finally said no

Jamie Lee's picture

Martin Gore was the last straw for Tammy, she'd had enough and she knew it. Everything she'd been through since the agency hired her finally caught up with her because of Gore's final action.

Her black mask and white hat are torn and dusty, her horse has pulled up lame and needs attention. She's so tired she can't even get excited about every day life.

She needs Thurso, and although it doesn't know it, Thurso needs her. They refresh each other, revigorate each other. They are partners.

The course she's going to take is what she should have been in at the beginning, given her penchant to jump beyond the evidence and come to a conclusion or understand more than shown by the evidence, assumptions she was constantly told not to do.

This was probably the most frustration part of her last job, being told not to look beyond the given evidence. And most times she was ahead of those who didn't assume anything, but was blocked because of their training.

Dave and the others need someone who CAN think outside the box. Someone who CAN take the evidence and draw conclusions which can only be obtained by deductive reasoning.

But they need a person who isn't fearful to say no, to take personal time when it has become to much to bear. A person they will allow these things because they need her more than she needs them.

Others have feelings too.

Comparative Normality

So, Tammy's back in Thurso for most of the next four years, with training courses during university breaks.

Except that training courses for Tammy rarely go smoothly, and even during term time, given the high profile of some attendees at St. Andrews, there may be threats to the pupils.

It may be that when she completes the four years, she becomes a mentor to Florence, who has a similar background.

In the meantime, Tammy will be able to reconnect with the community, help Sarah, direct more productions, and maybe help St. Andrews become fully coeducational...


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!