Chapter 3 – The Art of Negotiation

After a tiring night, even though he had slept for part of it, Hugh pulled into his place, went in, kicked off his shoes, and fell into bed. He was exhausted. He might have begun to ask why, but the doorbell rang thirty seconds after his head hit the pillow.

“All right, all right! Who hell is ringing the doorbell at this time of morning?” He jerked the door open. There, standing in front of him was a tall man in a suit who stood eye to eye with him. Looking down, there was a lady in her fifties, about five-five, with more than a scowl looking him up and down shaking her head. “You are New York’s finest!?” She said sarcastically, “We need to come in and talk, Officer Horner. Now!” She flashed an F.B.I badge. His head pounding, he waved them into the living room where he planted himself so hard that the chair almost broke. Agent Polk and her assistant pulled up a couple of chairs from the dining room table and sat in front of him. Their comportment was Federal and devastatingly precise.

“I am agent Dana Polk. What the hell are you doing here?” The words echoed in his head because he had a terrible hangover. Funny thing was, he hadn’t had that much to drink the night before. Of course, the Bloody Mary could have been loaded and he won’t have known. Maybe that is where he made his mistake.

“I am trying to find our retirement accounts. I was sent here to see if a few con artists had anything to do with it.”

Agent Polk pulled a phone out of her pocket, swiped a few things, and then he heard ...

After checking the information in the wallet you lifted from him at the museum, I found out from my sources that he is a cop assigned to the 130th precinct in New York City. He is here undercover. All that stuff Mandy returned to him when she bumped into him was phony. He didn’t notice he had been picked or had it returned, did he? No, she did a good job. Damn! Do you think he suspects it was us? No. From the look of things my contact gave me, the rogue Captain thinks he can get close to me via getting close to you. And, he thinks I did the money laundering in some caper. Even a broken clock can be right twice a day and that is what he is hoping he is.

She stopped the recording. Agent Polk went on to say, “They know you are fishing for something here. She clearly was only worried if you figured out that your wallet had been taken. Malcolm sweeps the house for bugs every time he goes over there to visit her. Little does he know we shoot the window with a laser listening device.”

Hugh leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “Excuse me, do you mind if take some aspirin. I have a pounding headache.”

“That’s from the drug she gave you. Here, take some of these.” She handed some pills to him. “Doyle, go get him some water, please.” She turned back to him. “Look, we know that you guys were scammed out of your retirement funds. That is the reason why we are here. You were about to blow the whole operation, but, I think we can use you.”

“How?”

“Jackie Hallard is insecure about her sex change operation. She feels that no man will ever fall for her or treat her like a lady. And, clearly she has the hots for you. And I sense you have the hots for her too. But, what is more telling is that Malcolm found out about you. And in such a short time, a matter of hours. It makes me believe that he really is involved in money laundering for the Irish Travellers. And, if that is the case, then your idiot boss may be on to something.”

Doyle brought Hugh a glass of water and he swished down some pain pills. He leaned back in the chair he was in and said, “Well, if my cover is blown, maybe I should just go home. I am not a gigolo.”

“You lost that argument when she kissed you goodnight. I saw the whole thing. You liked it. A woman can tell.”

“Yeah, I guess I did. But, they will be on their guard now, won’t they?”

“You don’t get it, do you? Think about what you just said. Because he has his guard up, he will be watching you! Did it occur to you that is what we want?”

The pain in his head made it hard for him to think. She was speaking in hopeless riddles to him. He looked at her like she was from another planet. She went on, “Okay, because Malcolm will be watching you, we can figure out who the watchers are. And by watching them, we can figure out who they work for. And if we can figure out who they work for, then they can lead us to the one who might have stolen your money.”

She shook her head. It was obvious that she thought Hugh was dumb as a rubber ducky. “Does that make sense now?” she said. Just then, her phone chirped. “They have put a watcher on the house now. We will have to leave by the back door. Anyway, here is the deal. You can’t report any of this to your boss. We already know there is a leak there, don’t we?”

“Huh?”

“You know there is a mole in your office, right? You know anything you report will go straight back to Malcolm. Right?”

“Oh, yeah, I see what you mean.”

“So, you can’t tell Captain Connolly you are now working for us either. Can you?” She pressed the point home by jabbing him in the chest with her finger.

“I guess not.”

“You have to know so. If you let on, even one errant word, I will have you both in for obstruction of justice charges. Yours is the rogue operation. Interstate is F.B.I., not N.Y.P.D., got it!?”

“Yeah, I got it. So, how should I make my reports?”

“Use your brain for once. Report like you would if you hadn’t known. That way she will be as comfortable as can be. Give her what she wants, a good time. The longer you haunt her carcass, the more tails we will find following you and the more Travellers we will be able to tie into Malcolm’s operation.”

“All right, but how do you know she won’t dump me now?”

She picked up her phone, swiped a few times, and let her phone answer the question ...

Look, you need experience dating. He will pay for it. What a deal! And, you do find him attractive. He is cute. And, he makes a good boy toy. And, I do need practice in the bedroom at some point I have to admit.

Hugh was tempted to smile but her gaze was ugly and intimidating. He covered his real feeling by saying, “I don’t have to do the bedroom part do I?”

“No. What the hell did they teach you at the academy. She was a guy! I find the whole thing creepy, but, if you do, it isn’t like you can get her pregnant. She doesn’t have female organs.”

“Oh, okay. You aren’t going to record us or anything.”

“No, I have been creeped out by you enough already. No, we just want the tails. But, I want you to think about something.”

“What?”

“What happens when a confidence man loses his confidence?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, I will spell it out for you again. If you build up her confidence, she will trust you more and Malcolm less.”

“Oh. I see what you mean. She will need me more than him.”

“Yes, and we can use that against Malcolm when the time is right. Wine her, dine her, and make her feel like a queen.”

“How will I contact you?”

Put a letter in the blue mailbox at the end of your street to your real aunt Josephine in Nebraska. We know they can’t get into it. When we see you go mail it, it will be a signal. The letter isn’t important. We will contact you soon afterwards. Also, should someone introduce himself to you as your cousin Joseph from Stockton, California, he is one of us. He knows to be lead away by you.”

Hugh led them to the back door and said his goodbyes. After he closed the door, he heard Doyle say, “Do you think he will blow it?” She answered, “Probably, these are the idiots who let a con man put an ATM in their break room.” Hugh went to his room and crashed. As he felt sleep overtaking him, he realized that he was the F.B.I.’s boy toy now. He soon was dreaming of making love to Jackie. He woke up with a start when her face turned into agent Polk’s face.

He called the Captain. “Exciting news Sir, I have met Malcolm. Yes, he is very protective. You called that one right. I figure as I get closer to her, he will appear more and more. Last night, he gave me the brother lecture. Oh yes, I was able to set up an accidental run in at the museum. It worked perfectly. She has even given me a super secret number that can get her anytime. What is it? Yes, umm, here it is. 682-555-3239. Yes, I plan to call her this afternoon. I need to get some rest first. She is hard to keep up with. Okay, I will just keep you up to date via email. Thank you Sir.”

After taking a shower, he slept for another hour on the chair in his bedroom. This time, he dreamed that she was taking him to a restaurant and for dessert, they brought out a stranger drink. It was sweet. Then he felt funny and suddenly, he looked into the mirror and he had changed into a girl. He started crying because he couldn’t date her anymore. He woke up feeling a bit more rested. But, at the same time, Jackie had begun to invade his sleep. He got up, took a hot shower, and shaved. He had a thought. Checking online, he found tickets for a concert at Bass Hall and readied to purchase them.

“Hello, Jackie? I am feeling a little homesick. I found tickets for Beethoven and Ravel at the symphony for tonight. Should I buy them?”

“Oh yes. Thank you. I would love that. What time will you pick me up?”

“Five-Thirty on the dot. That will allow us to dine nearby.”

“Oh yes, I will make the reservation for that. You just pick me up.”

He purchased the tickets and had them left for him at Will Call. He then took his car to have it detailed nearby. Coming home, Hugh went to his closet and pulled out a tux he had. It was classic and stylish. He quickly put in on and then headed to her place. She came out and he almost fainted.

To say that Jackie looked ravishing was an understatement, he thought. Her hair was exquisitely coiffed and her blonde hair was held back by a silver comb pin inlaid with diamonds and pearls. She wore a silver necklace dotted with diamonds and delicate rubies that gave her an elegance and radiance. Her dress was red and flowing coming down to her mid-calf. The dress didn’t hug her curves as much as it flowed with them making each of her movements sublime to behold. Her stocking were nude and showed off her shapely legs. Her four inch red pumps were beautiful and showed off her feet as well. As he guided her to the car, he almost wished he could take a cold shower. Her dress plunged in the back and showed off beautiful creamy skin with an inviting tie that kept the dress together just below her shoulder blades. It was all he could do to not untie it and see if the dress would fall from her. She was braless but the front of the dress showed no cleavage since it came up to her neck. She delicately smoothed her dress and pivoted into his clean car. He reached down and helped bring in the last of her dress which allowed him to look up into her blue eyes. He responded to her gentle smile of approval with a sincere softly spoken, “I don’t deserve someone like you Jackie. You are amazingly beautiful!” She blushed at hearing it. “Thank you Hugh. I gather I dress up nicely for a country girl.”

“Oh, yeah!” He closed her door gently and went around to get in. The drive into downtown only took minutes and he had the valet park the car at Bass Hall. “Stay here for a moment. I am going to grab the tickets now so we can relax.” After he grabbed the tickets, he led her across the street to the The Cheesecake Factory. They had a light meal and he paid for the dinner refusing to let her split the check. He then led her to the hall and they enjoyed an evening of Beethoven and Ravel.

“Would you like to come in for a drink?” She cooed and caressed his face. He closed his eyes enjoying the sensuous touch of her hand. He then took her hand and kissed it with a lingering kiss finally answering, “Oh yes, I would love that.” Her giggle in response was a welcome invitation to drink her as well. The two walked slowly to the door arm in arm and she unlocked her door. She reached in and turned on the light. He looked her up and down for a moment and said, “You dress up so nicely for a country girl.” She smiled back up at him and reached up with her arms placing them around his strong neck. She titled her head in submission to his coming attractions as he bent his head to receive her. Their lips melted in to each other. Their eyes closed and they explored each other passionately. Her right leg was slowly coming up as she leaned against her manly pillar of strength.

Neither of them noticed in their enthusiastic embrace the mature and nicely dressed man in the shadows of her porch come out to address her. “So, Jack, when were you going to let the family know about this change of yours?”

Startled, she pushed Hugh back and gulped. She smoothed out her dress frantically and tried to look into the man’s eyes, but couldn't hold his gaze more than a split second. Confused, Hugh looked at the man and then at Jackie. It was clear she knew him and that she was at a loss for words as well as surprised. There was no fear in her eyes except that of fearful respect and fervent reverence.

She finally looked at him, tried smiling, and nervously giggled as she tightened her grip on Hugh’s arm almost digging into him with her expertly done nails and sputtered out, “Uh, uh, Dad, w-what are you doing here so late?”

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