“Thanks for letting me swap my shifts again,” I say as I switch off the shop’s lights and step outside, allowing Dean to lock up the shop.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna let you work on your eighteenth birthday,” Dean says with a snort of laughter. “You have a good one, mate. See you a week tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure,” I say, waving goodbye to my supervisor before climbing onto the back seat of Rob’s car, where my girlfriend- or, to be more accurate, lover- greets me with a long kiss.

“Hey, sexy!” Chloe giggles, before giving me another kiss.

“Get. A. Room,” Lee moans from the front passenger seat of the car.

“Just because your girlfriend’s 110 kilos and made of metal,” Chloe retorts. “And if you tried to snog her, she’s cut your tongue off and/or electrocute you!”

“One hundred and SEVEN kilos,” Lee retorts. “And sometimes love hurts.”

“Wondered why you were walking with a limp the last few days,” Neil says, earning laughs from the rest of us as I slyly slip my hand onto Chloe’s nylon-covered thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as she slides a hand into the back pocket of my jeans.

It’s only been two days since Chloe and I had sex for the first time, but in that time, we’ve become virtually inseparable. Even grandma seems happy for us to be ‘left alone’, sometimes for hours at a time. We’re still not allowed to sleep together at my house- and sleeping at Chloe’s house is not an option for obvious reasons- but our connection, and dare I say it, our love is stronger than ever. It definitely helps that Chloe likes hanging out with the rest of my friends, even more than her own college friends, it seems. And, obviously, Chloe doesn’t have a problem with my ‘alternative’ equipment- as her reaching for and gently scratching a much more sensitive area of my anatomy proves.

The five of us (plus Neil and Rob’s disinterested girlfriends) spend the rest of the evening at Lee’s house tinkering and playing with Chwilen, before our lifts arrive to take us home just after 7pm- and much to my chagrin, Chloe’s lift is the first to pick her up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Chloe giggles, before dramatically wrapping her arms around my neck and rising onto her tiptoes to give me a long, deep kiss. Normally, she wouldn’t be this ‘passionate’ in saying goodbye to me, but today she’s being given a lift home by her older sister- and the look of disgust on her face is almost as great as the one she gave me when we first met on the Barry beach four months ago. Somewhat disappointingly, Chloe and Hannah’s younger sister, who is sat on the back seat of the car, has an equally disgusted look on her face, but I quickly put any negative thoughts out of my mind as I concentrate on the good Barnard girl, who is obviously very happy to be around me!

“See you tomorrow,” I say, giving Chloe another kiss before waving goodbye to her as she’s driven away.

“Huh, see the ‘wicked not-step-sister’ is still giving you the evils,” Lee snorts.

“Fuck her,” I shrug. “She wants to stay in the past, let her. Chloe’s the only member of that family I care about, anyway.”

“Good man,” Lee says, patting me on my shoulder. “We’ll be round tomorrow at about 11am, okay? Give you a chance to sleep in a bit. Don’t want to, you know, break the stereotype and get up early on your eighteenth birthday, do you?”

“Even though technically, it’s also my second?” I retort.

“Good point,” Lee says, giving me another shoulder pat as grandma’s car pulls up. “See you tomorrow, birthday boy!”

“Cheers,” I reply, before climbing into grandma’s car, fastening my seatbelt and letting out a long sigh as we drive home.

“How was work, Ian?” Grandma asks.

“It was okay,” I shrug. “Busy, what with the sale… Probably gonna be busier tomorrow, heh.”

“I hope you thanked your supervisor for allowing you to take tomorrow off,” grandma says.

“Of course,” I reply. “Can’t believe how excited I am about it, heh!”

“Well it is the most important birthday of them all,” grandma says. “Your last day as a child, from tomorrow you’ll be a man, not a boy.”

“Two years ago I never thought I’d ever be a boy,” I say, making grandma chuckle happily.

“Well that’s very true,” grandma says. “And I’m sure some people will say that you should have become a woman tomorrow, not a man, but their opinions don’t count, do they?”

“Not even slightly,” I say with a confident smile as we head home.

I spend the rest of the night relaxing, catching up with some coursework for my next term at college and playing on my Xbox before heading to bed just after 10:30pm. Unsurprisingly, I have difficulty drifting off to sleep, though this isn’t solely due to excitement about tomorrow.

Grandma’s words about becoming a man instead of a woman have resonated with me. If it wasn’t for taking a chance two years ago and going to live with grandma, it would be Kayleigh-Ann celebrating HER eighteenth birthday tomorrow, rather than me. I involuntarily shudder as I imagine what ‘my’ birthday would be like- waking up early, showering thoroughly and shaving off any and all body hair before pulling on feminine underwear, dousing myself with perfume and probably followed by a cute skirt and top- probably similar to the clothes Chloe was wearing today. I’d head downstairs, eat a disgusting vegan breakfast before opening my presents- clothes, shoes, make-up, perfume, dancewear, jewellery…

After opening my presents, Abbey-Gayle and her gang would inevitably show up and I’d be taken to a fancy salon- probably the one Georgie works at- for an expensive makeover and hair styling, before heading home and changing into a short, revealing dress and spending the rest of the night partying, probably at Charlotte Hartley’s house, almost certainly having to fend off boys that my ‘friends’ would fire at me from all angles. And then, I’d go home, and spend the rest of my birthday biting my stuffed giraffe’s leg and screaming myself to sleep.

Fortunately, when I wake up, my reality is very different from that nightmare. After I get out of bed, I shower, but the only part of my body that I shave is my face. The only scent that apply to my body is my Lynx deodorant that I spray into my hair-covered armpits. My underwear consists of a pair of jockey shorts, a pair of thick black socks and- in my only concession to my old life- a thick vest that ‘flattens’ my chest. A pair of black jeans and a smart cream-coloured sweater follow, before I head downstairs to be greeted by the smell of bacon frying.

“Good morning, birthday boy!” Grandma says with a cheerful grin. “Or should I say, birthday man?”

“Trust me, either will be fine,” I say with a chuckle. “More than fine, heh!”

“What time will your friends be coming around?” Grandma asks as she slides a delicious-smelling bacon sandwich under my nose.

“About eleven,” I reply. “Dunno if Chloe will be around earlier.”

“Are you expecting anyone else today?” Grandma asks.

“Umm, no…” I reply. “Not really, anyway. Not unless mum, well, you know…”

“Of course,” grandma whispers. “Well, eat up, you’ve got a lot of presents to unwrap!”

“Now THAT I can do!” I giggle as I wolf down my sandwich.

Once my stomach is full, grandma leads me through to the living room, where- just like five days ago- my usual sofa is covered by a large clutch of brightly-coloured gifts, all of which are mine, and many of which have the number ‘18’ prominently displayed on them. I waste no time in opening them, revealing similar gifts to five days ago- clothes, deodorant, videogames and board games, but once I’m done, grandma surprises me by producing one final present from the side of her chair.

“This came in the post for you yesterday,” grandma explains. “It’s from your mother.” I hesitate before even touching the package- the last time I spoke to my mother, we at least managed to part on civil terms, but hardly friendly ones. She told me- to my face- that she wasn’t sure whether or not she’d be prepared to accept me as her son, and now here I am, being expected to accept a present from her? One very, very important question immediately springs to mind when I see the package, which obviously contains clothing.

“Who is the present for?” I ask. “Ian, or Kayleigh-Ann?”

“…Do you see anyone in this room called ‘Kayleigh-Ann’?” Grandma retorts. “If the present was for someone by that name, I wouldn’t be giving it to you, because your name isn’t Kayleigh-Ann.” I smile as I take the present from my grandmother and unwrap it, revealing a new designer raincoat- but a black, unisex one.

“That’s a very nice coat,” grandma says. “You’ve needed a new one. What does the card say?”

“…To my child on THEIR eighteenth birthday,” I sigh. “Guess she’s no closer to her decision than she was at Christmas…”

“Well- well the presents was addressed to ‘Ian’,” grandma counters.

“Which she could have justified by telling herself that it’s my current legal name,” I say. “Emphasis on the ‘current’. She- she hasn’t called, has she?”

“…No,” grandma admits. "Also... Also, there's something else you should know."

"Umm, okay," I say.

"Your parents- well, your father, really, he- he set up a trust fund for you," grandma explains. "That they would have turned over to you today."

"'Would have'?" I ask. "Guess there's no point in asking why they haven't..."

"I'm only saying this as I don't want you to be kept in the dark," grandma says. "But it would've been a significant amount. Possibly even five figures." I exhale slowly as this information slowly sinks in- that IS a significant amount of money. It'd pay for driving lessons, a car, maybe even a whole year of uni...

"It could be six figures, and I wouldn't accept it," I say defiantly. "Not with the conditions he would've put on it."

"If you say so," grandma says. "I'm not suggesting you ask him for it by any means, but if that money is set aside for you, you might be able to legally challenge for it."

"...I'll think about it," I say with a sigh. "Notice as well there's no presents from Stuart or any of the London guys."

“Well- well maybe they’re coming in the post,” grandma says in a surprisingly hasty voice. “You might get them today or early next week, it usually takes the post some time to get back to normal after Christmas.”

“Wonder why they wouldn’t have just sent them with my Christmas presents,” I say. “It’s only five days, after all. Oh well, I mean, it’s not like I demanded presents from them, heh.”

“Well I’m sure they’ll want to do something nice for you anyway,” grandma says, before the doorbell suddenly rings. “This will probably be the postman now, actually!” I smile as I jump up and open the front door, receiving a pleasant surprise- the person at the door most certainly isn’t a postal worker, and even if she was, most postal workers don’t greet their customers with long, deep kisses!

“Happy birthday, hunky MAN!” Chloe giggles as she gives me another kiss.

“Is it the postman, Ian?” Grandma asks.

“Better,” I say, returning to the living room hand-in-hand with my girlfriend.

“Ah, hello Chloe!” Grandma says with a warm smile. “Good of you to come over so early.”

“Thanks,” Chloe replies shyly, leading to an awkward silence filling the room.

“Oh, I just remembered,” grandma suddenly announces. “I need to get more bread for your big birthday lunch. I’m going to go down the shops, I should be an hour, and no, you don’t need to come with me. Will you two be alright by yourselves?” Somehow, I suppress a giggle as Chloe and I exchange a knowing glance.

“We’ll be fine,” I assure my grandmother.

Needless to say, less than thirty seconds after grandma’s car pulls away from the house, Chloe and I are up in my bedroom, hastily stripping each other before collapsing on my bad in a mass of writhing limbs...

“Yes, oh yes…” I babble in a barely-coherent voice as I lay back on my bed, my body covered in sweat after our 'workout'.

“I repeat- happy birthday,” my girlfriend says, leaning over me to give me a long, lazy kiss before pulling back on the clingy skirt and top she wore to my house. “You seen my tights?”

“Umm, uh,” I moan, trying to shake the orgasmic fog out of my head. “Umm, here.” I scoop the discarded legwear off my floor, musing on how warm and soft it feels even without Chloe’s legs inside.

“Hey! Birthday boy!” Chloe says, snapping her fingers in front of my face and breaking me out of my ‘trance’. “You gonna fondle those all day or can I put them back on?”

“How would that stop me from fondling them?” I ask, giggling as Chloe blows me a very un-ladylike raspberry! “I was just remembering- ehh, never mind.”

“No, go on,” Chloe says.

“I was just- I was just remembering when I was back in my old bedroom,” I explain. “In London. On Christmas Day. All of my- well, all of ‘Kayleigh-Ann’s old clothes were still in their drawers.”

“…Including a tights drawer, right?” Chloe asks, making me grin lustfully as she stretches the clingy legwear over her slender legs.

“Yeah,” I muse.

“Don’t tell me you actually tried a pair on?” Chloe asks. “Because, you know, if you did, I wouldn’t think any the less of you… I mean, it must’ve been pretty stressful, being back there…”

“I picked out a pair,” I explain, “and all I could think was ‘I wish Chloe’s legs were in these’.”

“D’aww,” Chloe coos, leaning in to give me another kiss. “That’s so sweet. Total bullshit, but still sweet anyway.” This time, it’s Chloe’s turn to giggle as I blow a raspberry at her.

“Are you allowed to accuse your boyfriend of bullshitting on his birthday?” I retort.

“Yes,” Chloe bluntly replies. “Ugh, think I hear your grandmother’s car pulling up… You’d better get dressed, quick!”

“Okay,” I reply, grabbing my underwear, my jeans and my sweatshirt and pulling them in less time than it takes Chloe to adjust her tights and pull her hair back into a ponytail- something that makes me smirk and earns me a playful smack on my arm!

“Show off,” Chloe giggles as we head downstairs and park ourselves on our sofa. “Kinda wish we could, you know, sleep together? As in actually sleep, not, well, you know…”

“Yeah, I know,” I sigh.

“To be able to wake up cuddling each other…” Chloe sighs happily as she relaxes into my arms.

“That’d be nice,” I say. “And it’ll happen. Eventually.” I try not to let out another sigh as the front door opens and grandma enters the house, carrying her groceries. “Though it might be a while…” Chloe flashes me a quick smile as our ‘alone time’ ends and I jump off the sofa to help grandma put away her shopping (despite her protest that I shouldn’t be doing housework on my birthday).

Rob, Neil and Lee (and, of course, their presents- all of which are ‘nerdy’) arrive a short while later and we spend the whole day immersed in pure nerdiness. A Star Trek Discovery marathon is followed by a series of Halo matches and then a Worms W.M.D. free-for-all, which I- and all of my friends, Chloe included- agree is the perfect way to spend the day. It’s pointed out more than once that this isn’t any different from what we do on any other Saturday, but after my mental image of ‘Kayleigh-Ann’s birthday, I’m more than happy with this.

The three guys leave the ‘party’ just before 5pm, once again leaving me alone on the sofa with my girlfriend while grandma makes us all a cup of tea.

“So…” Chloe asks as she once again relaxes into my arms. “Did you enjoy your quote-unquote party?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “Yeah, I did. Sure, it wasn’t big and fancy, but all the important people were there, and that’s what matters the most.”

“D’aww,” Chloe coos. “Even though you’re drinking tea and not beer?”

“Plenty of time for that later,” I shrug, which for some reason, earns a smug grin from my girlfriend.

“If it was me, I’d want a HUGE party for my eighteenth,” Chloe says. “Fancy dresses, fancy food, fancy wine, fancy everything.”

“GIRL,” I tease, giggling as Chloe gives me a gentle elbow in my ribs.

“Hannah’s 18th last year was Doctor Who themed,” Chloe explains. “Helps that she actually shares a birthday with the show, November 23rd. She dressed up as Amy Pond, me and Rosie dressed up as other companions, her boyfriend at the time dressed up as Matt Smith, even Matt- our brother, Matt- got into the spirit of things, and he hates science-fiction.”

“…I’m kinda more interested to know if you still have the costume you wore,” I say, giggling as another elbow finds its way into my ribs.

“I was dressed as Clara Oswald,” Chloe explains. “Which was just a tartan skirt and a jumper, so yes, I do still have it, but the only part that was really a ‘costume’ was the wig. I’m probably showing more leg now, actually.”

“And for that, I am very grateful,” I say, which this time earns me a kiss instead of an elbow.

“My points, if I can get back to making it,” Chloe says, “is that for my eighteenth, I wouldn’t just want, but I’d expect to be treated like a total princess.”

“You’d deserve to be,” I say, earning another kiss.

“And I get that it might be different for boys,” Chloe says, “but surely you want to be treated as, well, a prince?”

“I spent most of my life just wanting to be treated as a boy,” I reply. “What I had today is still in the ‘better than my wildest dreams’ area.”

“Maybe you can afford to start dreaming bigger?” Chloe suggests. “What you had today is the absolute least you deserve.”

“Bit late to do anything about it now,” I shrug. “Though it’s New Year’s Eve tomorrow, I suppose we could throw a party for that?”

“Well, yeah, we could,” Chloe says. “And it’d be nice not to spend it listening to Matt and Han having a go, but it wouldn’t be YOUR party.”

“Eh, like I said, bit late to do anything about it now,” I shrug, before frowning in confusion as Chloe sits up from my embrace and listens as a car pulls up outside. “…Chloe?” Before my girlfriend can answer me, a knock comes from the front door, and when I answer it, I actually gasp in shock at the sight that greets me.

“Happy birthday, mate!” Stuart- who I thought was 150 miles away in London- says, giving me a firm handshake. Behind him is a stretch limo with a banner on the side that simply reads ’18 today’, and on the back seat of the limo are Rob, Neil and Lee, all of whom have wide grins on their faces.

“What- what are you doing here?” I ask. “What is THIS?”

“What does it look like?” Stuart chuckles. “Didn’t you wonder why you didn’t get any presents from anyone in London?”

“I- I thought it was in the post…” I mumble as Chloe suddenly appears at my side, literally buzzing with energy. “Did- did you know about this?”

“Maybe!” Chloe excitedly squeaks. “Hold the car, we’ll be down once Ian looks a bit more ‘appropriate’, hehe!”

“We’re not going anywhere!” Stuart laughs as I’m dragged upstairs by my girlfriend.

“So what- what exactly is going on?” I ask as I’m forced to strip down to my underwear and handed my most fashionable shirt and trousers.

“What’s going on,” Chloe says as she also strips to her underwear and pulls a plastic bag out from underneath my bed, “is that it’s your eighteenth birthday today, and we are going to celebrate it!”

“I thought that was what we were doing?” I ask.

“Well- maybe,” Chloe shrugs, withdrawing a slinky black dress and a pair of high-heeled shoes from the bag and changing into them, before touching up her make-up and fussing with her long ginger hair. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t make even more of a fuss over you, does it?”

“Umm, I guess,” I say, slipping my feet into my poshest pair of lace-up shoes and heading downstairs to where Stuart is waiting with grandma.

“Ah, about time!” My grandmother chuckles. “You two have fun tonight, and don’t come home too early!”

“Bu- what?” I reply.

“And don’t worry about church tomorrow,” grandma says. “Reverend Stubbs was eighteen once, I’m sure he- and the other ‘he’- will understand. Now go, and have fun!” I barely have time to nod before Stuart and Chloe frog march me into the limo, where I’m handed a glass of chilled champagne.

“Okay,” I say with a long sigh. “Can I please get an explanation of what’s happening?”

“Ian Freeman: world champion of missing the bloody obvious!” Lee toasts with his own glass of champagne.

“We are taking you to your surprise birthday party!” Rob explains with a grin.

“So this morning and afternoon- what, they didn’t count?” I ask.

“Nope!” Neil replies.

“Basically,” Stuart finally explains, “when you were in London on Tuesday, you seemed so down after what happened with your parents that I thought it was about time you deserved a ‘win’, a real, proper ‘win’. So, I got in touch with your grandmother and your girlfriend-“

“-Which TOTALLY made me freak out when I realised who was calling, hehe!” Chloe squeaks.

“…I can confirm that’s true,” Stuart says with a smirk. “So I got in touch, made some arrangements, booked a hotel- not an easy thing to do this close to the New Year- and we’re giving you the party you deserve. Had to pull a few strings, but my little brother doesn’t turn eighteen every day, you know?”

“God, this is- this is too much,” I say, my head spinning thanks to the whole situation. “What did your wife say when you told her that you were coming to Cardiff?”

“It was her idea!” Stuart laughs. “Partly her idea, anyway. She’d be here too, but didn’t want to leave Olivia overnight.”

“…This is STILL too much,” I insist.

“No. It. Isn’t,” Stuart says. “Sit back, relax and enjoy. You’ll never have another eighteenth birthday, so you need to make the most of this one!”

“And we’re gonna make sure you do!” Chloe giggles excitedly.

A short while later, the limo pulls up outside the posh city centre hotel that Stuart has hired for the evening- though mercifully, it stops outside the side entrance rather than the front entrance.

“Normally I’d have gone for the whole ‘red carpet’ thing,” Stuart explains as we get out of the car. “But I get that’s kinda not your thing, so I’ve gone for ‘grey concrete’ instead, heh!”

“And I do appreciate it,” I say. “I appreciate all of this, actually. I mean, like, a year ago, you didn’t even know who I was, now you’ve driven all this way, you’re throwing me this party, I- I don’t know how I’m going to repay you for this, heh.”

“I earn a lot more money than you, don’t worry about it,” Stuart says, making me snort with laughter. “And my birthday’s March 2nd, you’ve got my wife on Facebook, you’ll figure something out!”

“Yeah,” I laugh as we walk into the function room of the hotel, where I’m immediately greeted by several happy faces, many of whom I know personally, a few of whom I know only through their public profile and a few I’m seeing for the first time. I don’t need to force a smile on my face as the twenty-odd people all yell ‘happy birthday’ as they lay eyes on me, though mere moments later, an unwelcome thought burrows its way into mind, a thought I can’t shake no matter how hard I try- if my mother were to see this now, she’d be ecstatic.

The crowd contains no fewer than four of the Angels, the modelling clique I was forced to aspire to while I was growing up. Sure, I knew one of them- Abbey-Gayle- before she became an Angel, and I know that the other three who are here (Alice, Hannah and Kelly) are all very friendly, but the fact remains that they are very much celebrities. Their presence here would normally attract the attention of the national press (something Stuart has mercifully taken steps to prevent), and two years ago, I’d be coerced into ‘networking’ and trying to land myself representation with their agency. I know deep down inside myself that I’m under no such obligation tonight, that the only reason I’m here is to kick back and have fun, but no matter how hard I try, there’s a little voice at the back of mind urging me to take advantage of this unique opportunity. Even worse, I know the voice will angrily chastise me if I don’t…

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god!” Chloe- who’s almost crushing my hand, she’s so excited- squeaks as she sees the assembled faces approach and exchange handshakes and hugs with me.

“Happy birthday, Mr. Adult!” Nikki- one of the women with whom I did a photoshoot for a Sunday newspaper earlier in the year- says as she gives me a tight hug. “Got a few apologies, I’m afraid- Jamie and the other Angels with kids obviously couldn’t make it, but send their love, Out of Heaven have been called to a last-minute TV recording today so wouldn’t have got here in time, and Jessica and Paige are on flights but would’ve come if they were available."

“Honestly, I’m grateful anyone came at all,” I say, desperately trying to calm myself down. “All this way, in the cold…”

"Bringing presents with us too!" Nikki giggles, gesturing to the pile of presents on a nearby table, which I'm led to and immediately start unwrapping, revealing very fancy gifts, but all 'appropriate' ones- male fashion, aftershave kits, videogames, even a little booze- similar to what I got earlier in the day, but no less welcome.

"Honestly, thank you all so much," I say with a happy grin after unwrapping the last present.

“Speech!” Lee says, making me grown and everyone else laugh and cheer at my expense.

“Because you know I love public speaking,” I say to the sarcastic young man, who grins evilly. “Okay… Thank you all for coming, especially those of you who have come a long way as I know there are people here who’ve come from London who I’ve hardly even met before. But it really does mean a lot to me that I can spend today with the people who matter the most to me. Those of you who know me know that I’m being serious when I say that I consider a lot of you to be more like family than my ‘real’ family, so thank you, thank you all for coming. Umm… Cheers!”

“Cheers!” The crowd toasts, mercifully satisfied by my speech.

“Longer speech!” Lee shouts, earning giggles from the crowd.

“How about a short one,” I reply. “Piss off, Lee!” This ‘speech’ earns even louder laughter from the crowd, especially as Lee responds with a mock bow.

“Everyone not called Lee: have fun!” Stuart announces, prompting the music to start and everyone to have fun mingling, dancing and chatting. “As for you, young man, as your pseudo ‘big brother’, allow me to be the first to get you a beer! Got a particular brand you want?”

“I don’t mind,” I shrug. “What are you having?”

“I’m usually a Fosters man,” Stuart replies.

“Sounds goo-“ I say, before hesitating as a number of things suddenly connect in my brain. Fosters is a beer from Australia, and a quick glance around the room reveals that it isn’t the only thing- or person- from Australia here tonight. “Umm… Actually, I’ll- I’ll have a Carlsberg, please.”

“Carlsberg it is,” Stuart shrugs. “Why, you got something against Auss- oh.”

“Yep,” I say.

“Ehh, sorry mate,” Stuart shrugs as we head to the bar for our beer. “Abbey-Gayle must’ve invited her, it’s a bit late to send her home…”

“It’s okay,” I say. “Plenty of people here, I- I can just try to ignore her for the night.”

“That’s the spirit!” Stuart laughs. “So then, tell me about this robot you’re building!”

“What, Chwilen?” I ask, smirking as I await the inevitable interruption from one of my friends- and I don’t have to wait long.

“Are you talking about my beloved behind my back?” Lee asks, earning smirks from myself and Stuart.

“I believe you’ve met Lee, captain of Team Chwilen,” I say, quietly backing away as Stuart listens intently to Lee’s tales of building the robot. Before I get the chance to mingle with anyone else, though, my arm is grabbed by a familiar dark-skinned hand and I’m dragged into a group that’s already deep in conversation.

“Three cheers for the birthday boy!” Abbey-Gayle giggles as she gives me a playful hug. “Hip hip-“

“Hooray!” The crowd- which consists of Abbey-Gayle, Brooke, George, Maisie and their boyfriends- but thankfully, NOT Ella- all cheer. After two more ‘hip hip’s and ‘hooray’s, the girls in the group all give me gentle hugs, while I get firm handshakes from all of the guys.

“Happy birthday, mate!” Reuben- Abbey-Gayle’s boyfriend- says with a grin.

“Thanks,” I reply. “I’m still astonished that you came all this way, just for me…”

“Meh, you came to London for my party, didn’t you?” Abbey-Gayle asks in her thick Caribbean accent.

“Well- yeah,” I say. “But I kinda, like, was in London for other reasons too…”

“Ehh, yeah, I get that,” Abbey-Gayle grimaces.

“Mate, there’s no reason to get all hung up on her,” Andrew- Brooke’s boyfriend- says.

“Yeah,” Maisie concurs with a sly grin. “I mean, you’ve got a new girlfriend now, ain’t you?”

“Well, yeah,” I reply. “Bu-“ before I can finish my sentence, I’m surprised by a pair of slender arms encircling my waist from behind- arms I immediately identify as belonging to the girl I saw a LOT more of earlier today.

“Thought you’d get away from me, did you?” Chloe asks, the trembling in her voice (and her hand, which grips onto mine) betraying the fact that she is obviously nervous being in the presence of this many celebrities.

“It wasn’t by choice,” I reply, making Chloe giggle as I wrap my arm around her waist. “Chloe, this is Abbey-Gayle, Brooke, Georgie, Maisie, Reuben, Andrew, Marley and Jonas, everyone, this is Chloe. And yes, I got REALLY lucky when she agreed to go out with me.”

“D’aww!” Abbey-Gayle and Chloe coo simultaneously, making both girls giggle excitedly.

“Hope you’re taking good care of him!” Abbey-Gayle giggles.

“Oh my god, totally!” Chloe immediately replies in a breathless-sounding voice.

“…I think Chloe might want a selfie,” I say, earning a playful elbow from my girlfriend as her nerves start to intensify.

“I- umm, only- only if it’s no trouble-“ Chloe stammers, before Abbey-Gayle giggles and pulls out her smartphone and takes the selfie.

“Not bad,” the dark-skinned girl shrugs. “Reckon we can do better, though. Group selfie!” The ten of us all pose for Abbey-Gayle’s camera as she takes the second picture, and while I’d normally feel stressed by the idea of appearing on an Angel’s Instagram page, today, I feel oddly relaxed about it- especially when Chloe wraps my arm around her waist again.

“Oh my god, this is SO amazing!” Chloe squeaks, bouncing up and down on her heels. “I can’t believe I’m actually at a party with Angels!”

“And your boyfriend,” I remind the ginger-haired girl, who giggles and starts to blush with embarrassment.

“So, did you two meet at college?” Maisie asks.

“Actually, no,” I reply. “We do go to the same college, but only found that out AFTER we started going out, heh!”

“It’s a long story,” Chloe says. “Ian here actually asked my sister out before he asked me.” Chloe and I simultaneously roll our eyes at the mention of Hannah- an action that causes both of us to share a sly giggle.

“Fortunately, she turned me down,” I say. “Unfortunately, it was because of ‘you know what’…” I grimace as my assembled friends all frown- well, all apart from one of them, who predictably looks at me with a confused look on her tanned face.

“What’s ‘you know what’?” Georgie asks.

“Well, it’s because I’m- umm,” I mumble.

“…Because Ian used to be ‘Kayleigh-Ann’,” Maisie says, making me grimace at the use of my dead name- a grimace that only intensifies as Georgie bursts into a fit of giggles.

“OMG!” The petite, blonde-haired girl squeaks. “Like, I’d totally forgotten about that!”

“What, seriously?” I ask, before mentally chastising myself- if anyone is going to be ignorant of the past (or reality in general), Georgie is top of the list.

“I’ve forgotten a few times too,” Abbey-Gayle shrugs, surprising me.

“What, really?” I ask. “You’ve known me longer than anyone…”

“Ian, we went to school together!” Maisie reminds me. “Sure, we don’t see each other much anymore, but I knew Kayleigh-Ann for five years and even I struggle to think of you as the same person.”

“Maybe because I’m not,” I shrug. “I’ve come to realise that I was NEVER a girl. Not really. Umm… No offence.”

“None taken!” Abbey-Gayle giggles. “And no offence, but ‘Ian’ is a LOT more fun than ‘Kayleigh-Ann’ ever was, hehe!”

“None taken!” I say with a chuckle.

“So, Chloe,” Brooke says. “What d’you do at college? I know Ian’s doing graphic design, right?”

“Fashion design,” my girlfriend replies.

“Oh- no way!” Abbey-Gayle says with a grin. “There’s someone here I’ve GOT to introduce you to! Sarah!” I smile as three familiar figures approach our ‘huddle’- Nikki, the girl who ‘greeted’ me, Sarah, her wife, and sporting the widest grin of all, my friend Jacinta- who immediately wraps me in a tight hug and lifts me off my feet once she’s within arm’s reach!

“Happy birthday little brother!” Jacinta giggles, before mercifully putting me down. “Eee- sorry if I spilled any of your beer, hehe! Though I hope you haven’t got TOO pissed yet, hehe!”

“Not YET,” I reply, earning giggles from the girls and hearty chuckles from the guys.

“And you, young lady,” Nikki says to Chloe, whose eyes suddenly widen in a mixture of shock and terror. “As you’re only sixteen, I hope you’re sticking to soft drinks! I’m still on a community order, I don’t need to have to explain to your parents why you’ve come home on your hands and knees!”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I got drunk,” Chloe retorts nervously. “But I am sticking to soft drinks tonight.”

“In fairness, Chloe’s parents are actually pretty cool,” I say. “Her older brother and sister, on the other hand…”

“Reminds me a bit of my stepmother,” Sarah laughs. “Went to see her after my nineteenth, and me and Nikki got totally fucked. Like, ‘collapsing on the ground in a heap’ brand fucked. She was NOT happy about that!”

“I remember the Instagram pictures,” Jacinta giggles. “Well, before you deleted them, anyway!”

“Didn’t need THAT when applying for internships,” Sarah snorts. “Anyway, you bellowed, Abbey-Gayle?”

“I did,” the Jamaican girl replies. “Sarah, this is Chloe, Ian’s girlfriend. She’s studying fashion design at college!”

“Ooh, really?” Sarah asks, her interested suddenly piqued. “Do you have any favourite designers?”

“Donna Karan, Michael Kors,” Chloe replies. “I’m really more into costume design, though, like for TV…”

“Really?” Sarah asks, suddenly even more interested in Chloe’s college work. “Ever designed any costumes for, say, any parties? I’d love to pick your brain…”

“Ooh sounds like we’re gonna have a girly chat about clothes!” Brooke squeaks excitedly.

“Hint taken,” Reuben says with a mock sigh as he and the rest of his ‘gang’ head toward the bar.

“You too!” Georgie says, pointing a long, manicured fingernail at me. “Like, girls only!”

“Fair enough,” I say, chuckling and holding up my hands in mock surrender as I follow the boys to the bar. Even Georgie, of all people, has no problem accepting me as just another boy. Why can’t it be that easy for my parents?

Fortunately, I’m only allowed to wallow in self-pity for a few seconds before I feel another hand grab my arm- the hand of Reuben’s older brother, who I last saw mere days ago when I met Stuart before his football match.

“Alright mate?” Keith asks. “Enjoying the party so far?”

“Yeah, loving it,” I reply. “Still a bit overwhelmed by the effort everyone’s gone to, heh.”

“Like I said before the game a few days ago, we consider you family,” Keith shrugs, “we consider you to be family. You’re a hell of a lot less annoying than my ‘real’ little brother, that’s for damned sure!”

“Heard that!” Reuben yells, making his older brother chuckle.

“You were meant to!” Keith retorts. “Anyways, Ian, me, Stu and a few of the guys are going to set up in a bit, but there’s someone we reckon you ought to meet. I think you’ve probably met before but not had the chance to have a real chat, he’s… Ah! There we are. Come on.” I have an unsure look on my face as I follow Keith to a corner of the room, where a woman with gentle oriental features it talking to a ginger haired man who is obviously her boyfriend. I recognise the woman immediately, obviously- she’s Kelly Watson, one of the ‘new’ Angels added to the group last year- and while I don’t immediately recognise the man, he does look familiar somehow…

“Hey guys!” Keith says.

“Oh, hey Keith,” Kelly replies, before flashing a wide grin at me. “And hello birthday boy!”

“Hi,” I reply nervously. “Thanks- umm, thanks for coming tonight, I know it’s a long way to come…”

“It’s not THAT far,” Kelly says with a wink as she greets me with a hug.

“She’s dropping a hint that we only got back from visiting my parents on Thursday,” the ginger-haired man says, extending a hand for me to shake. “I’m Kurt, Kurt Vance. And before you ask, Canada, not America.”

“Ian Freeman, Wales, not England,” I reply. “Well… Kinda half of both but prefer Wales, heh.” I grimace as I suddenly realise that the phrase ‘half of both’ could refer to something other than my nationality. “Umm, ‘half of both’ isn’t QUITE how I wanted to put it…”

“It’s okay,” Kurt says with a smile. “I of all people should know, heh.”

“You of-?” I reply, before a closer examination of Kurt’s face reveals that his bone structure is a lot more ‘delicate’ than most men’s- almost like mine… “Wait- wait, you- you?”

“Yep,” Kurt says. “Me, me. There are more of ‘us’ than you might think, heh.”

“How long?” I ask.

“Just over three years,” Kurt replies. “Started in the summer break after my second year of university. Though high school was… Confusing. I have two older sisters, both of whom are REALLY girly, it was kinda assumed that I’d follow in their footsteps, so I was a singer in the school choir, I was on the cheerleading team…”

“Yeah, I know that feeling,” I sigh. “Did- did your parents-“

“Wouldn’t have just got back from visiting them if they’d disowned me,” Kurt shrugs, before an elbow from his girlfriend causes him to grimace. “Ahh… Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to, you know, rub it in…”

“It’s okay,” I shrug. “Have- have you had any, you know, operations? If it’s a, you know, sensitive topic then don’t-”

“Just my mastectomy,” Kurt replies, lifting the bottom of his loose, designer shirt to show me the angry-looking pink scars on his chest. “That was NOT a pleasant experience.”

“But worth it?” I ask, biting my lip as the Canadian man pauses for thought.

“…Long term, it probably will be,” Kurt muses. “Though I will confess- and I don’t care how many ‘guy points’ I lose here- I HATE needles, knives, that whole thing.”

“Given that I had my SRS at the same time you had your mastectomy,” Kelly says, crossing her legs in a dramatic fashion, “you ARE losing at least one ‘guy point’ for that!”

“And to be fair, eight months on, it really doesn’t hurt anymore,” Kurt replies. “Really can’t wait to hit the beach at summer, FINALLY going topless, heh.”

“So- so you had it done in April?” I ask.

“Yep,” Kurt replies.

“Both of us,” Kelly concurs. “That’s why we weren’t available for that photoshoot that you, Stuart and the girls did.”

“In fact, you kinda stepped in for me,” Kurt says. “So, yes, you’re welcome, heh.” I try not to let out a sigh as I’m reminded of my brush with fame from earlier in the year.

“YOU’RE welcome,” I retort. “Me and fame… We don’t really mix.”

“Eh, it’s not for everyone,” Kelly shrugs. “I did wonder why Stuart ordered the camera crew to stay home, figured it was so they’d be available for tomorrow night’s party. New Year’s Eve’s probably the second biggest of the year after Halloween.”

“Remind me to thank Stu for that,” I chuckle. “Though I guess it wasn’t too bad, well, when I wasn’t trying to fight off a horny fifteen year old girl, anyway.”

“Did you get the tattoo?” Kurt asks. “Another reason I’m glad I missed out on it, heh.”

“Couldn’t,” I reply. “Wasn’t eighteen at the time.”

“But you are now,” Kelly reminds me- and I have no response to this. Mercifully, before I can think of an excuse, the lights in the room suddenly lower and our attention is drawn to the stage, where Stuart, Keith and four of the other guys have set up a bunch of musical instruments.

“Hello Cardiff!” The band’s singer- a tall, athletic man with blonde hair and a scratchy beard- says into his microphone. “We’re here to celebrate the eighteenth birthday of a young man who’s had a few tough breaks over the years, but from now on, mate, things are gonna get better for you. You’ve got a big, BIG family here who are gonna guarantee it for you!” I try not to blush as the room cheers in agreement. “And we’re gonna celebrate tonight in the best way possible- with music!” The room cheers, which only intensifies when Keith plays the opening bars of ‘Dakota’ by the Stereophonics on his keyboard.

A series of songs by the Stereophonics, the Manic Street Preachers and even some by Tom Jones follow, during which Chloe finds her way back to me and we spend a lot of the time dancing together on the makeshift dancefloor that’s been created in the room. Everyone cuts back and has fun, myself included, and I forget all about my stresses until the opening bars of the eighth song start to play- and it’s a song I instantly recognise.

“What’s up?” Chloe asks as I suddenly stop dancing.

“I, umm, just need to sit down,” I say, scanning the crowd for the one person I’d hoped to avoid tonight and pointedly walking in the opposite direction.

“You’re not the one dancing in heels!” Chloe protests. “Come onnnn…”

“I don't know if I'm tired and I don't know if I'm ill," the lead singer sings, instantly making me grimace.

"My cheeks are turning yellow
I think I'll take another pill

Praying for the wave to come now
It must be for the fifteenth time
I've been here for much too long
This is the past that's mine

I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in Australia
I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in Australia
In Australia...”

“…Oh,” Chloe says, biting her lip as she leads me away to one of the table surrounding the room as I gaze up at Stuart, whose eyes have gone wider than dinner plates. While still playing his guitar, he dashes around the stage, obviously issuing instructions to the rest of the band, and mercifully, the song comes to an end a few bars later.

“We’re gonna take a quick break now,” Paul- the singer- announces as the band step away from their instruments. “Be back in twenty!” I take a deep breath as Chloe and I sit down at our table, where we’re joined after a few seconds by my ‘big brother’.

“Mate,” Stuart says with a heavy sigh. “I am so sorry about that, I chose the set list, it’s always been one of my favourite Manics songs-“

“Don’t worry about it,” I shrug as I take a swig of my beer. “No harm done in the long run.” I let out a long sigh as my reassurance is instantly proven wrong when a familiar tall, blonde and, most importantly of all, Australian figure approaches our table.

“Ah,” Stuart says as Ella nervously hangs about next to our table. “I’ll- I’ll, umm, give you some privacy…”

“Well I WON’T,” Chloe says, defiantly gripping my hand and placing it on the table, making sure Ella has a clear view of it. The look in my girlfriend’s eyes is one of pure fury, and actually makes ME wither as I see her try to drill a hole in Ella’s forehead with her eyes.

“O-kay…” Ella mumbles as she sits down opposite the two of us, and unsurprisingly, an awkward silence falls over the table.

“…I’m kinda surprised you came,” I say, breaking the silence.

“So am I,” Ella replies. “After the way you chucked me away.”

“What?” I retort.

“After the football match?” Ella asks. “In August? You just rack off back to Cardiff without even saying goodbye!”

“Did- did you not see the fight I’d had with my mum?” I ask. “I was stressed, I was emotional, I- I just wanted to get as far away from London as possible.”

“And as far away from me as possible,” Ella snorts.

“We weren’t even exclusive anyway,” I retort. “And you didn’t waste any time hooking up with someone else.”

“Look who’s talking!” Ella says, gesturing toward my girlfriend, whose facial expression sours even further.

“Hey!” Chloe and I say simultaneously.

“If you must know,” Ella sighs, “I came because Abbey-Gayle asked me to. She wanted to do something nice for you, like Stuart and the guys did. Even though you walked out on THEM as well.”

“I talked to them on Facebook,” I retort. “I bought Stuart and some of the guys Christmas presents. But I’ve got a life here in Cardiff. And honestly, I was getting a little fed up of dropping everything and jumping on a train any time you wanted a booty call!”

“Ah, another thing I don’t miss,” Ella snorts- and this is enough to push my girlfriend over the edge.

“Then maybe, if you don’t ‘miss’ it,” Chloe growls, “you should stop obsessing over it and fuck off back to London! Better yet, fuck off back to Australia and leave us in peace!”

“I think I’ll do that,” Ella sighs, standing up from the table. “Pity, you’ll never know what you could’ve had.” Oh, you bitch, I think to myself as I’m suddenly reminded of how my first ‘relationship’ ended. Ollie told me to my face that without him, I’d never have any chance of ‘becoming Ian’. I proved him wrong, dead wrong, and I’m going to prove Ella wrong as well. I give my girlfriend’s hand- which I haven’t let go the whole time I was talking to Ella- a gentle squeeze, before a wide grin spreads across my face.

“Anything other than what I have now would be a step down from what I have now,” I say, smiling as Chloe’s grip suddenly increases too. My smile stays on my face as Ella simply snorts derisively and leaves, though it quickly vanishes once she’s gone, despite my girlfriend leaning against me with a wide grin on her face.

What I just said to Ella was a barefaced lie- while I may be happier at college than I ever was at school, happier with lee and the guys than I ever was as part of Abbey-Gayle’s gang and MUCH happier with Chloe than I ever was with Ella, my life is still far from perfect- it’s almost 11pm on my eighteenth birthday and I haven’t exchanged two words with my parents all day, half of the people at my party are people I barely know and the other half have done something for me that I’ll never be able to make up for- at least, not without giving in to the lifestyle I’ve tried so desperately to avoid.

“I get why you’re so hung up on her,” Chloe sighs as I wrap an arm around her tiny waist.

“She was my first ‘real’ girlfriend,” I sigh. “But-“

“I mean, she IS a six foot tall supermodel-“ Chloe says, before grimacing as she realises she interrupted me. “…Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I shrug. “First ‘real real’ girlfriend beats first ‘real’ girlfriend any day of the week!”

“D’aww!” Chloe coos, giggling as I give her a kiss on her cheek. “As long as you had fun tonight, that’s the important thing.”

“I have,” I say, grinning as the band starts up again, this time playing The Bartender and the Thief by the Stereophonics. And apart from the confrontation with Ella, I genuinely have. I’ve become reacquainted with old friends, made new ones and watched as my Cardiff friends got on brilliantly my London friends (it was especially funny watching Lee answering questions about Chwilen all night long!).

The party eventually dissipates at around 1am, with the London-based contingent heading to pre-booked rooms in the hotel or Airbnb’s while me, Chloe and the guys get into taxis to take us back home.

"Can you turn eighteen every Saturday, please?" Neil asks, making me giggle as he climbs into the back of his taxi. "Or better yet, get them to come back to Cardiff for my eighteenth?"

"Or bring us all down to London?" Lee- who's probably drank as much as me- pleads.

"I'll see what I can do," I say as I exchange handshakes with my three friends.

"Had SERIOUS fun tonight," Rob says. "Even though 'seventeen and sober'."

"You should try getting a bit older," Lee says. "Just takes a bit of time and patience."

"...See you Monday?" Rob asks. "Assuming you don't mind being brought back down to 'normal'?"

"I'll live," I say with a grin as the taxi drives away and Stuart- who obviously looks knackered from having organised the party and spent most of the night playing his guitar- jogs up and walks with me and Chloe to our taxi.

“Again,” I say before the older man has a chance to speak, “thank you so, so much for tonight. Seriously. I’ll probably still be thanking you on my nineteenth birthday, heh!”

“Don’t mention it, honestly,” Stuart says with a friendly pat on my back. “If it helps, think of it as an excuse for me and the guys to play a gig, heh.”

“You’re really, really good,” Chloe says.

“Ah, thank you!” Stuart chuckles. “Keep trying to persuade Joshua to let us have a few hours in his recording studio, but it’s always fully booked, either with Out of Heaven or him renting it out.”

“What- what time you heading back tomorrow?” I ask.

“Whenever Mikey stops being hung over, and can take us back in his van,” Stuart shrugs. “He didn’t drink much and he’s 6’ 3” and about fifteen stone so we’ll probably be gone by about midday. Don’t like going more than 24 hours without a cuddle from my daughter, heh.”

“Aww,” Chloe coos happily.

“Well if I don’t see you before, thanks again,” I say, before leaning in for an awkward, minimal contact man hug with Stuart. “I WILL find some way of making up for tonight, I swear.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Stuart says with a grin as we climb into our taxi. “You just have fun. And take care, okay?”

“Will do!” I chuckle as the taxi pulls away and my girlfriend leans against my body with a happy sigh.

“That was AWESOME,” Chloe says in a dreamy voice. “Even better than my prom, hehe!”

“It was a hell of a lot better than mine, that’s for sure!” I giggle as the taxi takes me home.

I’m woken up the following morning by a sharp, stabbing pain in my forehead. It’s not my first hangover- thanks to some parties my mother ‘encouraged’ me to attend when I was still living in London- but this one feels oddly special, as it’s ‘Ian’s first, my first as an adult- my first as a MAN. I have a smile on my face as I shower away the headache, before dressing in a comfortable sweater and pair of jeans and heading downstairs, where grandma is already awake and making breakfast- which is a definite surprise, as at by this time on a Sunday morning, we’re both usually at church.

“Good morning, MISTER Freeman!” Grandma says with a happy chuckle. “I take it you had fun last night?”

“Umm, yeah,” I say, still trying to shake the last of the fog from my mind. “Hope I didn’t wake you last night when I got in…”

“Don’t worry, I was sound asleep,” grandma says. “I take it you have a hangover?”

“…Maybe a little one,” I half-lie.

“This will help with that,” grandma says, pushing a delicious-smelling bacon sandwich and a mug of hot, black coffee under my nose, both of which I eagerly devour. “Do you have any plans for today?”

“Not really,” I say. “Might see if Chloe or the guys are free. We’ve not got anything planned for tonight, no New Year’s party or anything.”

“Pity, now that you’re eighteen and can ‘properly’ enjoy it!” Grandma teases. “What about your friends who organised the party/ Did they go home last night?”

“Think they stayed over at the hotel,” I reply. “Heading back later this morning, I think.”

“You should see them before they go,” grandma says in a firm voice. “And thank them again for organising the party for you.”

“I’m going to be thanking them for the next ten years,” I laugh. “And each thanks will be as genuine as the first, heh.”

“I’ll give my daughter credit for one thing,” grandma says. “At least she didn’t raise you to be spoiled. And no, before you ask, she didn’t call last night.”

“She’d probably be over the moon if she found out who was at the party,” I say. “May sound selfish, but I really hope she never finds out about it.”

“Well, that’s understandable,” grandma says. “Just as long as you don’t go out of your way to avoid your London friends just to spite your mother.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t hang out with them without getting her hopes up,” I sigh. “And I DO like them. I actually made friends with another transgendered man last night, a Canadian guy called Kurt, who’s said he’ll keep in touch and give, you know, advice.”

“Wonderful!” Grandma says with a grin.

“And he’s another person I’ll probably end up owing to for the rest of my life,” I say with a tired snort of laughter. “I really wish there was something, ANYTHING I could do to, well, demonstrate how grateful I am.”

“Huh,” grandma muses. “I would’ve thought that was obvious myself, but maybe that’s just me.”

“…What do you mean?” I ask.

“You’ve always had people expecting things from you your whole life,” grandma explains. “It’s no wonder you feel a need to repay debts, even imaginary ones. Your mother expected you to be this superstar celebrity, your other grandmother expected unquestioning obedience from you, even that awful Ollie boy had his ‘expectations’.”

“Don’t remind me,” I say with a shudder. “Just wish I knew what Stuart and the guys expect of me, what they want.”

“Well that IS obvious,” grandma says. “What they from you, Ian… is you.”

“…I’m sorry?” I ask.

“That nice Jamie-Lee woman is always saying ‘you can never have too many friends’,” grandma clarifies. “Either she’s a massive hypocrite, or she genuinely wants to have Ian Freeman as her friend. Not Ian Freeman the budding celebrity, or Ian Freeman the student, or Ian Freeman the transgendered boy- or even Ian the boy. Just Ian.”

“So all I need to do to make it up to them,” I say, “is be myself?”

“It’s as easy as that,” grandma says. “Do you have the address of the hotel where your friends are staying?”

“Umm, yeah,” I say.

“Then eat up,” grandma orders with a knowing smirk on her face.

Half an hour later, we pull into the cold, quiet car park outside the hotel where I partied last night, and much to my relief, Stuart’s friend’s van- easily identifiable by the ‘Celestials’ logo on its side- is still in the same spot it was in last night. I head into the hotel’s fancy restaurant and am immediately greeted by a loud cheer from two tables. One of the table is playing host to six of the women from last night’s party, but I’m more interested in the one that has six of the men from the party sat around it- including my ‘big brother’.

“Hey mate!” Stuart says, finishing off the full English breakfast that he’d been eating. “Glad you could make it down before we got on the road. Hope you weren’t too smashed this morning, heh.”

“Maybe a little ‘cracked’,” I reply. “I just wanted-“

“Yes, yes, yes,” Stuart laughs. “And you’re welcome, honestly. We all had a lot of fun last night.” I grin as the other five men at the table- and the six women at the adjoining table- all murmur in agreement.

“Pity I only have one birthday a year,” I shrug, making the men laugh.

“Well, any time you want to come to London,” Jonathan- the drummer from last night and who I know to be a big name at Heavenly Talent- says.

“Seriously,” Stuart says. “It’d be great to have you at the parties again. And if you need a place to stay over-”

“Dibs on first Ian sleepover!” Jacinta yells from the adjacent table, earning giggles from everyone present- myself included. Grandma’s words suddenly resonate with me as I face the acceptance from the women present. They don’t care that I’m not famous, that I like watching Star Trek, or I’m a gamer- and they certainly don’t care that I’m transgendered. They only care that I’m their friend. A grin creeps across my face as I remember what I asked grandma on the ride over here.

“Well…” I say, barely keeping my happiness in check.

A short while later, Mikey’s van pulls up outside Chloe’s parents’ house and I jump out, trembling nervously as I knock on the front door. Chloe’s parents are okay with me going out with their daughter, but this might be a step too far- and if either of Chloe’s eldest siblings are home, there’s every chance I could have a REAL fight on my hands. But this is something I know I need to do- Chloe’d never forgive me if I don’t…

“What do you want?” The sneering voice of Rosie- Chloe’s 13 year old sister- asks as she opens the door and sees me standing there.

“Is your sister in?” I ask.

“Chlo!” Rosie yells into the house, pausing briefly to glower at me before being replaced at the door by my grinning girlfriend, who greets me as always with a long, deep kiss.

“Hey bae!” Chloe giggles. “Sorry about the brat.”

“Meh, I’ve faced worse,” I shrug.

“My other sister, for one,” Chloe snorts. “Matt and Han are both out and Rosie knows when she’s not wanted, so we can hang out here, if you want?”

“That’d be good,” I reply. “But…” I grin as I gesture behind me to Mikey’s van, and behind that to a car containing Nikki, Sarah, Jacinta, Hannah Dexter and an empty seat.

“Wh- oh my god!” Chloe squeaks. “Are- are you going to- to London!?”

“You can never have too many friends?” I ask with a smug grin. “Invited myself to the Angels’ New Year party. And that includes you as well. If, of course, you-“

“Mum!” Chloe yells excitedly, bouncing up and down on her toes.

“What is it?” Mrs. Barnard asks her trembling daughter. “Oh, hi Ian, do you want to come in?”

“Actually, I was wondering if Chloe wanted to come out,” I say nervously.

“Where are you thinking of going?” Chloe’s mum asks.

“London!” Chloe squeaks. “Ian’s got us invited to the-“

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Chloe’s mother says. “London? By yourself?”

“I wouldn’t be by myself,” Chloe retorts. “I’d be going with Ian. And all the Angels would be there, and-“

“Hang on, calm down,” Mrs. Barnard says sternly. “Going to a party here in Cardiff is one thing, but I’m not comfortable with you going all the way to London!”

“But mum…” Chloe pleads, visibly deflating.

“Chloe, you’re sixteen, you’re still legally a child, you need to remember that,” Mrs. Barnard says, causing me to have an unpleasant flashback to what my ‘bad’ grandmother said to me at Christmas. “You’ve only just met these people. Okay, Ian’s shown that he’s trustworthy, but it’s still too far. Maybe next year.”

“I’ll still be a child when I’m seventeen,” Chloe pouts.

“I’ve made my decision,” Mrs. Barnard says firmly, making me squirm. “I’m sorry.”

“But I can definitely go next year?” Chloe asks.

“…Okay, fine,” Mrs. Barnard says. “And if you save up and get any free time, you and Ian can go to London together during the day in the New Year if you want. But during the DAY. No overnighters. Okay?”

“Okay,” Chloe mumbles, before sighing as her mother goes back indoors. “I’m sorry, Ian…”

“It’s okay,” I sigh. “I’ll let Stu and the guys know that I won’t be going.”

“W- wait, what?” Chloe asks.

“I wouldn’t want to go if I can’t go without you,” I say softly.

“Aww!” Chloe coos. “I don’t want to be the reason you miss out on what will be THE best party of the year! 2017 AND 2018, hehe!”

“I’d still rather stay here with you,” I say, even though deep down, I’m already feeling a pang of guilt at letting Stuart down…

“And make me feel guilty?” Chloe asks. “Go. To. The. Party. I’ll still be here when you get back. Hopefully with a load of Angel and Out of Heaven selfies!”

“…If you’re sure,” I say, grinning as Chloe nods and gives me a kiss. “I’m missing you already…”

“D’aww!” Chloe coos. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure,” I say, sharing another kiss with my girlfriend. “Actually… Didn’t you say that your sister’s an Angels fan?”

“Yeah, why?” Chloe asks, before glancing at the blonde-haired figure of Hannah Dexter and grinning. “Oh Rosie…”

Despite my disappointment, I still have a smile on my face as I head back to Mikey’s van.

“She didn’t go for it, then?” Stu asks as I climb onto the seat next to him. “Guess it was a long shot. Maybe next time.”

“Oh- her parents have basically guaranteed next time,” I say. “So I’m not too disappointed. And before you say anything, me coming along anyway was her idea, she pretty much threatened me if I didn’t heh.”

“Speaking of threats, had another text from Krys asking when we were getting home,” Mikey says, gesturing to his phone. “Why were you speaking to the girls just now?”

“Watch,” I say, pointing to Chloe’s front door- or rather, to the tall, elegant form of Hannah Dexter, who is walking up the path to the door. I don’t even bother to suppress a giggle as Hannah knocks on the door and Chloe’s sister answers- and my giggle becomes a full-blown roar of laughter as all the colour drains from Rosie’s cheeks and her eyes go as wide as dinner plates. The two women (who are quickly joined by Chloe) spend a few seconds chatting and taking a selfie, before Hannah returns to her car, stopping along the way to give me a high-five- something I make sure Rosie sees.

“Okay, we can go now,” I say with a chuckle, waving at my girlfriend as we head off.

“Bit cruel, wasn’t that?” Stuart asks. “Teasing her like that?”

“Meh, she’s been nothing but snotty to me ever since I met her,” I snort. “That was Chloe’s younger sister, and I told you about her older sister, right?”

“Ugh, yeah,” Stuart spits. “So she’s a transphobe too? That’s a damn shame, seeing as how young she is…”

“Doubt she’ll be one for long,” Mikey says with a grin. “Or would’ve been at all if it had been your wife on the doorstep instead of Han.”

“Dunno if I like the idea of that,” Stuart says. “Having to ‘buy’ someone’s acceptance like that.”

“She won’t give me any shit anymore,” I say. “And take it from someone who’s dealt with a lot of shit, I wish it was that easy with everyone.”

“Changing perceptions one person at a time,” Mikey chuckles. “You know, it’s a pity we still have that spare seat in Sarah’s car.”

“True,” Stuart says, before turning to me. “Don’t know anyone who’d want to fill it, do you?”

“Anyone who wouldn’t mind spending three hours in a car with four gorgeous women?” I ask, a smile creeping across my face. “Let me get my phone out…”

An hour later, the three of us in our van are heading east along the M4 toward London when Mikey suddenly accelerates to overtake the sky blue Citroen C3 in front of us. Stuart and I both laugh as we wave at the five inhabitants of the car- specifically, the six foot tall figure of Lee Charlton squished up against the rear door window. Seeing as it’s the tall, slender body of Jacinta Hanley doing the ‘squishing’, though, Lee definitely doesn’t seem to mind too much!

‘Don’t get TOO excited in there,’ I text my friend, who rolls his eyes at me as he reads the message.

‘Too late,’ Lee replies. ‘Got any spare pants?’

‘Dirty bastard,’ I reply with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji that makes Lee laugh as we speed ahead of the car.

“Share the joke,” Stuart insists.

“It’s a dirty boy joke,” I say, handing my phone to Stuart.

“Those are the best kind,” Stuart says, before chortling loudly as he reads the message exchange.

“Go on,” Mikey says, before laughing himself as Stuart reads the three messages to him. “Yeah- I think I’m gonna like him.” That simple sentence, even when said jokingly, is enough to warm my heart as we head deeper into England. Stuart and his friends liking me is good. Them liking Chloe as well is great, but if they like Lee and the rest of the guys? That would be perfect. And just serves to hammer home how intolerant my mother is, criticising me for preferring the company of ‘nerds’ to ‘celebrities’ when the celebrities themselves would much rather hang out with nerds. And it’s not like these trips to London will be a regular thing- though that makes me more determined to make the most of them when they do happen.

We arrive back in London just after 3pm, with me, Lee and Stuart being dropped off at the older man’s house, all three of us tired after our long trip but still excited by tonight’s party!

“Hi honey, I’m home!” Stuart laughs as he lets us in to the big, modern house.

“In the living room,” Jamie replies, before grinning as she sees that her husband isn’t alone. “Oh hey, Ian! SHORT time no see, hehe!”

“Hi Jamie!” I reply. “Hi Olivia!” I giggle as Jamie playfully waves her little daughter’s arm at me.

“Brought another guest too,” Stuart says as Lee nervously waves at the famous woman, who replies by coming up and giving him a gentle hug.

“Hi!” Jamie says with a smile. “I’m Jamie, Jamie-Lee Milton, but I’m guessing you already knew that, hehe!”

“Yeah,” Lee laughs nervously. “I’m, umm, Lee, Lee Charlton.”

“So, you’re Ian’s best friend, then?” Jamie asks.

“Well, today I’m more ‘substitute girlfriend’,” Lee says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and making our hostess sigh and roll her eyes.

“We like Lee,” Stuart says with a smug grin.

“Boys,” Jamie sighs, before giggling. “Make yourselves comfortable, we’ll have some dinner, then once my parents have picked up Olivia we’ll head out to Charlotte’s, okay?”

“Sounds good,” Stuart says as his wife heads into their kitchen. “I’m going to head upstairs to get changed, you two relax, okay?”

“Sure,” I say as Lee and I remove our shoes and sit down on the comfortable sofa.

“I’ve got to admit,” Lee says, “this is NOT how I imagined my New Year going.”

“My apologies for taking you away from your one true love,” I retort.

“Oh, Chwilen understands,” Lee says. “And anyone who doesn’t jump at the chance to party with a group of rich, famous and beautiful women needs their head checked. Or… They’re someone who’s dedicated themselves to avoiding partying like that.”

“…You calling me a hypocrite?” I ask.

“I’m wondering why your attitude has suddenly changed,” Lee replies. “How many times did you freak out about your connection to the Angels and what your mother thought about it?” I bite my lip as I realise that Lee may have a point- but there’s one thing he hasn’t considered.

“It was easy to dismiss the Angels when I just thought of them as ‘The Angels’,” I reply. “But I don’t think of people like Abbey-Gayle or Jamie as ‘my famous friends’, I just think of them as ‘my friends’.”

“Even the little blonde one who’s a stereotypical hairdresser?” Lee asks.

“Even her,” I say. “Sure, if I had to do it all again and actually had more of a say in things, I probably would stay away from Jamie and Stuart and so forth. But I’m glad I am friends with them.”

“Does that include me too?” Lee asks with mock pleading eyes.

“Sadly, yes,” I say, making the tall boy snort with laughter. “And Rob, and Neil too.”

“We aren’t likely to make you rich and famous, though,” Lee says. “Well, maybe Chwilen can, but I have first dibs there.”

“You yourself just pointed out that that’s what I’m trying to avoid,” I snort. “I don’t care if Jamie doesn’t make me famous. I like her as a person, a friend.”

“And what about what your mother thinks?” Lee asks, making me pause.

“I don’t care what she thinks,” I say in a dark voice. “She only sees Jamie, Stuart and co as a means to an end, rather than people. She was the same way with Abbey-Gayle as well. Though at least there she’s better than my quote-unquote father and his mother.”

“Not racist or trans-slash-homophobic,” Lee says with a sarcastic snort of laughter. “Done by faint praise indeed.” I go to reply to my friend, only to be stopped by a quiet cough from the kitchen doorway.

“Sorry,” Jamie says quietly. “Didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but, well, you are kinda in my house, heh.”

“It’s okay,” I shrug. “Not like there’s a camera crew here or anything.”

“There will be tonight, though,” Jamie says. “But you shouldn’t have THAT hard a time avoiding them or blending into the background. But then again, you ARE very mature, heh. Especially for a BOY!”

“Thank you,” I say with a grin as I recognise the double compliment.

“You’re pretty cool too, Lee,” Jamie says, making my friend bite his lip to avoid blushing. “Sorry if you feel outnumbered being in a house with three transgendered people, heh.”

“No, it’s fine,” Lee shrugs. “Besides, I’m not the one who should feel outnumbered, aren’t guys outnumbering girls 3-2 at the moment?”

“…It’s you and me against the world, Olivia,” Jamie says with a mock sigh as she scoops her daughter out of her playpen and gives her a gentle cuddle. “You know where you’re staying tonight?”

“Think Jacinta called first dibs on me,” I say.

“Aww, that’s a pity,” Jamie sighs. “We’ve barely used our spare room since we moved in…”

“It’s okay,” Lee shrugs. “I was talking to Jacinta on the way over. Kinda hard not to when I had her squished up against me for three hours.”

“I can’t help but notice you don’t seem too disappointed by that,” Jamie teases, earning a smug grin from my friend. “Isn’t she in a relationship with someone?”

“I dunno,” I shrug. “Haven’t been keeping up…”

“And you do know she’s transgendered too, right?” Jamie asks.

“Still a girl, isn’t she?” Lee shrugs, another smug grin spreading across his face as Jamie smiles approvingly. “And I may as well make the most of this chance, like I said, I wasn’t exactly Ian’s first choice.”

“You are eighteen though, right?” Jamie asks, smiling as Lee nods. “Figured it might be a stretch, allowing a sixteen year old into one of the parties, especially a big one like New Year.”

“I went to one of Charlotte’s parties earlier in the year with Ella,” I remind the beautiful blonde woman. “I was only seventeen then.”

“…I guess,” Jamie says with a grimace. “I suppose it’s different for boys. I dunno. I would like to meet Chloe, she sounds cool.”

“She is,” I say with a grin. “And I don’t need to ask why you want to meet her, do I?”

“Indeed you don’t,” Jamie giggles knowingly.

Stuart returns to the living room a few minutes later, having changed into a smart designer shirt for the party (and loaned me one and Lee one of his friends’ shirts to wear), and after a quick dinner, Jamie’s parents arrive to take charge of Olivia, freeing us to head to the vast, posh home of Charlotte Hartley and her family.

When we arrive, the party is already in full swing, and even though there are cameras capturing the action for Jamie & Charlotte’s reality TV show, I don’t feel as stressed as I would’ve been this time last year- or even this time last month. Maybe it’s because I chose to come here, rather than was forced or coerced by my mother. Maybe it’s because, as an adult, I’m free to choose my own path in life, and I can reject any ‘fame’ that comes my way without fear of any consequences. Or, more likely, I’m relaxed because I know I’m among friends. Tonight’s party is just like last night’s- well, apart from me being the centre of attention, anyway- it’s just a group of young people hanging out together having fun.

“This is fucking awesome!” Lee yells, giving me a firm pat on the shoulder. “Maybe even better than last night, heh!”

“Probably!” I chuckle. “Sure you wouldn’t rather be locked in your shed tinkering with Chwilen?”

“…She’s not going anywhere,” Lee shrugs. “Though I will have to make it up to her tomorrow. Meantime, speaking of ‘making up’…” I smile as Lee merges into the crowd, quickly making his way to where Jacinta and her friends are sat. I smirk as the tall, black-haired boy effortlessly integrates with the group, earning laughs for some of his jokes and (unsurprisingly) eye rolls and groans for many of his others.

Two parts of my life that I’d thought were incompatible are seamlessly gelling together, and I couldn’t be happier- it almost makes me forget about the multiple other parts of my life that AREN’T gelling together, though every time I see one of the cameras in the room, I’m reminded of just how excited my mother would be by my presence at this party. One thing’s for certain, though- I’m definitely going to try my hardest to get Neil and Rob into one of these parties next year.

I try my hardest to avoid the cameras as I head toward the bar at the end of the room, though I allow myself a silent, inward groan when I arrive there to find yet another ‘ungelled’ part of my life sat on one of the barstools.

“Pint of Carlsberg, please,” I sat to the barman, a brown-haired guy only slightly taller than me.

“Another one of these for me please, Danny,” Ella says, handing her empty cocktail glass back to the barman, who quickly provides us with our drinks. “I’m just- can’t believe you’re actually here, Ian.”

“A little surprised myself,” I confess as I sip my beer. “I- I’m sorry about last night, I-“

“No- no, I’m sorry,” Ella sighs. “What I said last night was out of line. Guess I was just a little steamed after we’d last met.”

“Though as you pointed out several times, we WERE in an open relationship,” I say.

“I know,” Ella whispers. “Sometimes- sometimes, though, there was a part of me that kinda wished it was closed.”

“…I felt the same way,” I confess. “But that’s in the past now.”

“You’re really happy with the little ginger girl, then?” Ella asks.

“I am,” I say. “She’s cute, she’s funny… She’s got no problem with me in bed…”

“Sorry, again,” Ella groans. “I- I didn’t have any problem either, I was- I was just a little-“

“Yeah, apology accepted,” I mumble.

“Didn’t help, your girlfriend looking like she wanted to claw my eyes out,” Ella says, making me smirk. “Wouldn’t have blamed her if she’d tried.”

“She’s definitely a bit feisty,” I say. “But in a good way.”

“Guess it’s appropriate,” Ella shrugs. “Most countries put their women on a pedestal. Wales put theirs on their national flag.” I grimace as I suddenly snort with laughter, spraying beer all over the bar.

“I’m not telling her you said that,” I say to the smirking blonde girl. “Might tell my mother, I dunno.”

“You going to be in London much in 2018?” Ella asks.

“Might be,” I shrug. “Definitely going to try, though.”

“Harder than you did when you came to London to see me?” Ella asks.

“…Maybe,” I mumble. “It depends on whether or not Chloe’s parents will let her come too, or if I can persuade the rest of the guys from Cardiff to come too… One of them has a car so can, you know, drive…”

“Good thing I’m not likely to be here, if Chloe’s coming,” Ella says, making me frown with confusion.

“Umm- what?” I ask.

“I’m probably going to be going back to Australia in the New Year,” Ella says. “Early on… They- they’re founding an Australian Angel group in the New Year, Joshua reckons I should be part of it. I kinda miss my parents, too, and my brothers…”

“Oh,” I say. “Well, umm, do- do you want to go?”

“Kinda,” Ella shrugs. “Though I will miss everyone here, and I know Abbey-Gayle said she’d miss me. Even said she’d look for a replacement, like- like she did with, umm, you and Maisie…”

“Even though she’s now a ‘proper’ Angel herself?” I ask.

“All the ‘proper’ Angels are older than her,” Ella shrugs. “And you know- well, you DO know how generous she is to ‘her’ gang.”

“She didn’t start out that way,” I say.

“Yeah, ‘cause she’s the only one who’s changed, hasn’t she?” Ella asks, making me roll my eyes. “You know, ‘Kayleigh-Ann’ was always my favourite member of that group. The one I got along with the best…”

“Pity ‘she’ never really existed,” I retort.

“Yep,” Ella says. “’Course, if I had a reason to stay in London, I probably would…”

“I’ll miss you,” I say firmly, immediately cottoning on to Ella’s train of thought.

“You can always come and visit, if you want,” Ella shrugs. “Might be a bit further than London, but still-“

“I’ll think about it,” I say with a smile, sighing as Ella leans in to give me a gentle kiss on my cheek before mingling with the rest of the crowd. In truth, I probably wouldn’t go as far as Australia to see Ella, but I will miss her. She’ll always be my first, she’ll always be the girl that showed ‘Kayleigh-Ann’ the most acceptance, she’ll always be the one from London I showed ‘Ian’ to first, and she’ll always be one of my best friends, no matter how temperamental she gets… But she’s a part of my past now. A fond memory, nothing more. Chloe is my present and my future- and so is Lee, so are Neil and Rob, and, much to my surprise, so are my London friends.

I spend the rest of the evening drinking, having fun and dancing with my friends, including the singer Stephanie Abbott, who grabbed me for a dance almost as soon as she saw me! As we dance, I can't help but fixate on the bottom of the tattoo just peeking out from underneath Stephanie's dress- a tattoo she and five of my other friends got a few months ago, after we'd all gathered for a photoshoot for a newspaper magazine. Steph gives me the traditional ‘New Year’s kiss’ (albeit on my cheek) as the bells chime to signify the end of 2017 and the start of 2018, and my eyes again linger on her tattoo- and the identical tattoos of many of my other transgendered friends. When they got their tattoos, I wasn’t legally allowed to get one of my own, but even if I had been, I’m not sure I would’ve wanted to- not because of fear of the pain involved with getting a tattoo, but because I didn’t feel like I genuinely belonged in that ‘group’. Now, however, things are different. My London friends have shown me nothing but love and acceptance, and they deserve nothing less than the same in return, and as Stuart, Jamie and I share a taxi back to their home, I waste no time in announcing my plans.

“I want the tattoo,” I say, taking care not to stumble over my words in my inebriated state.

“Umm, sorry?” Jamie- who has also had more than a few drinks- asks.

“I want the tattoo,” I repeat. “The fellowship tattoo, like you two have. I want to get one tomorrow.”

“Sure that’s not the beer talking?” Stuart asks.

“Posi- positive,” I say. “After all you’ve done for me, all the help, even after I’ve stormed off in a sulk…”

“Let me guess,” Stuart chuckles, “’I bloody love you guys’, right?”

“Sure, why not?” I ask.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” Jamie giggles as the taxi pulls up outside her posh suburban home. “In the meantime, get some sleep, okay?”

“Will do!” I say, giggling and exchanging a hug with both of my hosts before heading up to the spare room that’s been made up for me, where I quickly fall asleep in the plush, warm bed.

Naturally, my head is pulsing with pain when I wake up the following morning- my second hangover in just over two days of being eighteen- and I lay awake in bed for a few minutes, trying to shake away the pain, before smiling as I hear the familiar sound of a baby’s laughter coming from downstairs. Sure enough, after taking some time to wash my face (and try to rinse the taste of last night out of my mouth), when I head downstairs I find both of my hosts already awake and feeding- or rather, trying to feed- their baby daughter.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” Jamie teases as she delicately spoons the mushy food into Olivia’s mouth. “There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen if you want to pour yourself a cup.”

“Looks like that coffee will be needed,” Stuart jokes. “Bet there’s more than just ‘sleep’ in his head, heh!”

“Thanks,” I say, rolling my eyes as I pour a cup of the hot black liquid.

“What time do you have to be back in Cardiff?” Jamie asks.

“Umm, pretty much just ‘by tomorrow’,” I reply.

"Not going to stick around to watch Arsenal get pummelled by Chelsea, then?" Stuart asks with a smug grin that makes me roll my eyes.

"You just-" I say, before a loud groan from Stuart's wife interrupts us.

"If I hear the word 'bet' or 'wager' at this table, I swear I'm kicking you BOTH out," Jamie sighs, her own eyes rolling as Stuart and I snicker at her frustration.

"I'll let you stay dry today," I tease my unofficial 'mentor'. "I’ll get in touch with Lee in a bit, see when he wants to get a train.”

“Think he might have got in touch with you already,” Stuart says. “Your phone was going this morning.”

“Now that IS a surprise,” Jamie giggles. “He was drinking even more than you last night. AND, yes, left with Jacinta.”

“I’ll check it in a bit,” I say, smirking at my hostess’s innuendo. “Thanks so much for letting me stay over last night.”

“Hey, you’re part of the gang,” Stuart chuckles. “Tattoo or no tattoo!”

“…Ah,” as vague memories of my drunken declaration in the taxi come flooding back to me.

“Still thinking of getting it done?” Jamie asks. “Because I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t, mine itched for AGES and the actual act of getting it done just sucked.”

“No, no I want to get it done,” I say. “Because you guys didn’t have to accept me into your home, you didn’t have to bring me to this party, it’s not like you gain anything from it-“

“Wrong,” Jamie says firmly. “We gain a friend.”

“And,” Stuart adds, “in years to come, you may meet a young man, say, ten years younger than you, who had the misfortune of being born with lady parts, and needs a ‘mentor’ type…”

“Talk to the person who’s suffered from ridiculous levels of stress and depression?” I snort.

“Can’t think of anyone better suited to the job.” Stuart shrugs, and I actually struggle not to shed a tear as Stuart and Jamie smile approvingly at me.

Despite their insistence, I know deep down that they’re not getting anything tangible out of my friendship, that my presence in their lives doesn’t improve them in a significant way and that they have absolutely no obligation to me at all, legal or otherwise. And still, they go out of their way to be nice to me. I can’t help but contrast their attitude with that of my ‘parents’, who always expected ‘results’- success in dance and gymnastics competitions, for me to ‘keep up appearances’ with Abbey-Gayle and her gang and my ‘friends’ from school, to always be on my best behaviour around Grandma Walker… Sure, I was a child then, and I’m (technically) an adult now, and I’m dealing with peers rather than elders, but it’s an undisputable fact that Stuart and Jamie have shown me far more love than Craig and Angela ever did- and that little Olivia will have a hell of a better childhood than I did.

A short while later, I’m biting my lip to try to bear the sharp, burning pain of the tattooist’s needle as it permanently marks the skin on my right bicep with the logo etched into the skin of Stuart, Jamie, Stephanie, Nikki, Jacinta and Jessica- all of whom have come to watch my ‘indoctrination’, along with the two younger members of our ‘fellowship’ (who are, of course, waiting in a coffee shop just down the road from the tattoo parlour).

“All done,” the tattoo artist says as he wipes my arm with an antibacterial wipe and wraps it in clear, flimsy plastic and advises me on aftercare procedures.

“Will do,” I say as I stare at my new tattoo with a proud grin on my face.

“Oh, well done mate!” Lee says, motioning to give me a heavy pat on my (still-stinging) arm, only to stop at the last second as I flinch away from him. “Looks good on you.”

“It does!” Jacinta giggles, keeping my sleeve rolled up to inspect it a bit more closely.

“It should do, it was your idea if I recall,” I say, making the tall transgendered girl giggle happily. “And it was a REALLY good idea.”

“Reckon Chloe will like it, though?” Lee asks. “She into a ‘bit of rough’?”

“Are you kidding?” I ask with a giggle. “First thing she did when I told her I was in the ‘Fellowship’ was ask if I had the tattoo. Can you take a snap of it for me?”

“Sure,” Jacinta says, photographing the tattoo on my phone. “You two heading back to Wales now?”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Back to college next week, still got plenty of coursework to catch up on.”

“But we’re definitely coming back soon,” Lee says with a smug grin. “February the 2nd, right?”

“Yep,” Jacinta says with an equally smug grin. “And it’s a Friday, so you’d BOTH better be here early!”

“We will,” I say with a smile. “I’m looking forward to it already!” And much to my surprise, I genuinely am.

After a quick lunch with the rest of the ‘Fellowship’, Lee and I head back to Paddington station and hop on the next train back to Cardiff, both of us exhilarated after an exciting weekend but looking forward to getting back to our homes.

“…So, then,” I say. “You and Jacinta?”

“My lips are sealed,” Lee replies.

“Your lips are also making a very smug grin,” I retort.

“All I’ll say is that she is INCREDIBLY girlish,” Lee says. “Like, it’s far deeper than just skin-deep.”

“Yeah, I am familiar with the whole ‘transgender’ thing,” I retort.

“Yeah, but- and I don’t mean any offence,“ Lee says hesitantly. “She’s a lot more feminine than you are masculine, if that makes any sense?”

“A little,” I retort. “VERY little. Though… I guess, I dunno. She’s been transitioning longer than I have.”

“Meh, either way, she’s cool,” Lee shrugs. “Thanks for inviting me along to the party, mate. Will admit I was having second thoughts on the way down to London but I’m glad I went.”

“I’m glad you went too,” I say. “Eventually you get fed up of living two lives- one in London, one in Cardiff- I’m glad that things are starting to ‘blend’ a little.”

“I’m definitely looking at London universities too, now,” Lee says.

“Me too,” I say with a grin. “God… Even if that means we end up becoming flat mates, heh.”

“Take it you’d prefer that to moving back in with your parents, then?” Lee asks, grimacing as I frown.

"I'd rather live in a fucking ditch than with Craig or Angela," I spit. "Learned this week that family isn't about who you share DNA with. I've got family- admittedly, one person I share DNA with- in Cardiff, and a 'proper' family in London."

"Are pseudo big brothers and sisters better than parents, though?" Lee asks.

"Seeing who the 'parents' and 'brothers and sisters' are, yes," I reply. "And why are you being so insightful all of a sudden? Are you still hung over or something?"

"Charming," Lee says. "Just tired after a great weekend. Part of me still can't believe you were actually up for all of this."

"I went in spite of my parents, not because of them," I retort. "That's the way it's going to be from now on."

Family isn't just about blood or DNA, and the last few days have proved it. They say you can't choose your family- well I can, and I have. Craig and Angela mean nothing to me, not anymore. I don't intend to depend on my friends in London- or my friends in Cardiff, for that matter- but I know that I'll always have that option if I really need it, and the mark on my right arm proves that. My 'parents' may have ruined my childhood, but I'll be damned if I let them have any negative effect on my adulthood. It's time for me to be a man. I'm going to make my own way in life- and that way will be 100% my own!