Because I care: part 5

We get to the doctors and signed in. It wasn’t long until we are called. They measure Charlie in height, weight, and blood pressure. They ask her if she has any allergies. She has a weird allergy to salmon oddly enough. Finally, we are sent to an examination room.

We sit in silence until Charlie breaks it with “I hate these rooms. The doctors always make you wait too long.”

“I know what you mean. They always like to make you nervous while you wait for them.”

“Do you think it’s an unspoken rule that you have to make your patients wait?”

“Certainly, feels like it.”

“Do you think….” Charlie and I talked about several different things until an old man with a long white coat comes in.

“You must be Charlie Davis. I was expecting a boy, but Charlie can be a girl’s name too. I’m Dr. Rodrigues.” Charlie smiles broadly at that. He walks up and extends his hand to her. Charlie freezes as if time stops for her.

I say, “Uh oh, this isn’t good. Charlie?” I wave a hand over her face. “Carmilla?”

Charlie/Carmilla turns to me and says sweetly in that British accent, “Yes, love?”

“What happened to Charlie?”

“She had a PTSD moment. She’ll be back tomorrow. Old men always have this effect on her.”

The doctor arched his eyebrow and asks, “What’s happening?”

Carmilla explains, “Sorry, Doctor, Charlie has multiple personality disorder and she normally switches when something triggers her PTSD.”

“And I triggered her PTSD?”

“Don’t take it personally, she can’t control it and you aren’t the first to do that.”

“So who am I’m talking to?”

“I, Carmilla, am Charlie’s dual self.”

“Can you continue the examination?”

“Yes.”

He looks to me, “Do you provide consent?”

“Yes. There is just one thing I tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Charlie/Carmilla is biologically male.” The doctor looks closer at Charlie who is now Carmilla.

“Well, I need to exam you either way. I’m a doctor, not a therapist.” I blow a sigh of relief. “I heard that you have scars from being abused. Can you show me all of them?” Carmilla didn’t hesitate. She pulled off all her clothes, showing Charlie’s battered and beaten body. The doctor gasps at the scars. “Lay down on the table for me, please.” Carmilla did what he told her. “How long was this going on?”

“Two years.”

He nods and goes to Charlie’s groin area and shakes his head. “Please flip over,” Carmilla flips and he continues to examine her. After a minute, he says, “You can put your clothes back on.” He walks out of the room.

I walk to Carmilla’s side and ask, “Are you ok?” She stops dressing and kisses me on the cheek and continues.

“I’m fine. As I said before, I have very little negative emotions.”

“I never did ask, but what negative emotions do you have?”

She stops and looks at the ground thoughtfully and says, “Anger.”

We went back to waiting for the doctor. It was just silent in the room. Maybe it was just me, but I felt like she was thinking about something she did. A few minutes later, the doctor came back into the room.

He announces, “I have good news and bad news.”

“Good news first,” I reply.

“Good news is Charlie’s body is perfectly healthy except…”

“Except what.”

“This is the bad news. Except for her genitals. Specifically, her testicles. She’ll never father children.” I look at Carmilla. She didn’t seem surprised. She looks more relieved than surprised.

“What happened to them?”

Carmilla interrupts, “I fell on them hard. I had to go to the hospital because of it. It’s the one time my foster family cared.”

The doctor just nods, “Besides that, Charlie is perfectly healthy. You are free to go.”

When we get into the car, we sit in it for several seconds.

“So, what is the true story?”

Carmilla is quiet for a second and says, “My foster father smashed them when he was drunk. Telling me that I did not deserve children.” She takes a deep breath and continues, “I did the same to him, but with a knife.”

“Charlie did or-“

“I did. Charlie would’ve never had done that.”

“Okay.” I start up the car and start driving to our next destination.

“Thank you for helping Charlie,” Carmilla mutters.

“It was an honor. It was amazing what a little retail and chocolate therapy did for her. I’ve never seen her so bubbly and happy.”

“I know! I have not seen her so happy since I was born.” Carmilla says as she goes back to her normally bubbly self. “So, where we going next? Therapy?”

“How did yo-“

“Charlie maybe oblivious to the world, but I’m not.” I simply nod at her as we pull in to the therapy.

We walk inside and go to the receptionist’s desk. She says, “Greetings fellow humans. What may I help you two with?” She had a funny way of talking almost like she’s an alien or something. Maybe she likes to do that for a joke. It must be bored sitting there all day.

“We have an appointment for Charlie Davis.”

“Yes, sir. Can you fill out this form while you’re waiting?”

“Sure.” She gives me the form, a pen, and a clipboard.

Time seemed to go fast as I fill out the form. Next thing I know I hear a woman say, “Charlie Davis?” We both stand up. The therapist looks at me then at Carmilla. “Which one is Charlie?”

Carmilla spoke up, “I am. Right now, it’s Carmilla. Charlie will be back tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?”

I explain, “Charlie had a PTSD attack when we were at the doctor’s. It causes her second personality, Carmilla, to come out.”

“Well, it seems I have my work cut out for me then. Please follow me.” We follow her to a homey room. It was very soothing to be in. We take our seats and the therapist says, “I’m Janet Wong. You can just call me Janet.” We both nod. “So, from what I heard,” She looks at Carmilla, “That you had been abused severely along with the gender issue and multiple personalities.”

“Correct.” Replies Carmilla going from her silly bubbly self to her serious mode.

“Do you have any scars?”

“I do.”

“Do you mind showing them?”

“I do not mind, just know that they are not pretty.” Carmilla shows the ones on her back.

Janet gasps, “Do you have any more?”

“I do, but those are the only ones I’m willing to show as this is hardly an appropriate place to show them.”

“You’re right, sorry. Can you tell me about them?”

“Sure,” Carmilla explains all the scars on her body in detail telling exactly how she got them. Janet’s poker face was fumbling, but she still holds it together.

“Have you suffered any more abuses?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell me about them.”

“Alright, just to warn you, they are brutal,” Carmilla explains her sexual abuse in great detail. Hearing about it again makes me want to torture the people who did this. Just thinking about makes me want to puke. Janet was no different. She cried puke, and made a grim expression just like everyone else that heard the nightmare. Carmilla is as calm as she always is.

“God, how can you keep from breaking down? If I was you, I would’ve killed myself by now. Even though I’m a therapist.”

“I, Carmilla, do not have any negative emotions. I was created because of the trauma Charlie had to endure.”

Janet blows her nose and asks, “Let’s do talk about something happy or at least happier. We’ll delve into those memories later.”

“Alright.”

“Tell me about your gender issues?”

“Well, I cannot speak for Charlie, but I can speak for myself. I, Carmilla, am a girl.”

“What about Charlie?”

“I’m the happier version of Charlie. Charlie, from what I have seen, is a girl.”

“How did you come up with that conclusion?”

“Well, first, I am in his mind. Second, she shows the traits of a girl rather than a flamboyantly gay boy.”

“Thinking about gay. What if your sexual orientation? I mean, Carmilla is known to be a lesbian vampire.”

“I definitely like girls. Charlie, without a doubt, likes boys. I guess you can say us as a whole are bisexual.”

“Interesting. Are you always so articulate?”

“I am not one to judge myself, but Charlie is not like me. Even though she is me. She is normally too scared to be articulate.”

“Well, remember when I said I have my work cut out for me?”

“Yes?”

“I think I’m over my head. I can work on your gender issues, but I have never seen a DID case such as yours. Not only do you talk to your host while she’s awake, but you understand who you are and how you were created. I like to talk to your brother alone.”

“I’m not her brother.” I protest.

“Then who are you?”

“Her guardian.”

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry. You… You just look so young.”

I sigh, “I know. Carmilla can you wait outside for a bit. It won’t take long.” Carmilla nods and walks out.

“Well, Mr. Blue-”

“Brent, just call me Brent.”

“Brent. You have a highly intelligent little girl on your hands. How do you feel about her being transgender.”

I get Janet a smile, “My late wife… She was transgender. I see her in Charlie. Personally, I’m hoping to adopt her one day once her foster parents are thrown in jail.”

“That’s good to hear. That girl needs someone. I haven’t met Charlie yet, but from what I can tell. Charlie needs someone horribly bad.”

“I can agree with you.”

“I’m going to see her every day. I’ll do everything in my power to help her with her gender issues, but her other problems…. You’re going to have to find someone else. It’s not within my specialty.”

“I understand. She’s going back to school tomorrow. I would like her to attend school as a girl. I’m trying to keep it as a surprise for her.”

Janet smiles warmly, “I think that would be a wonderful idea for her. I can’t diagnose her with gender dysphoria just yet, but I can give you a note to let her go to school as a girl.”

“That’s great! Thank you, Janet.”

“You’re welcome, tell Carmilla that it’s her turn.”

“Will do.” I walk out and say, “It’s your turn.” Carmilla nods and walks in.

I didn’t wait very long until a bubbly Carmilla to run out, hug me, and give me kisses all over my face. She hugs me tighter and repeats, “Thank you, thank you, Thank you!”

“What’s this about?”

Janet gave me a sheepish grin admitting, “I accidentally told her that you are letting Charlie go to school as a girl.”

“Don’t worry, Brent, I shall keep it a secret. Charlie is going to be thrilled when she finds out.”

Janet gives me a few papers, “Here’s your doctor’s note and permission slip to allow Charlie to be herself at school.”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the night, Carmilla was clingy to me. Not like I minded, but I just wish she didn’t do it out in public. She didn’t let go until she passed out while we were watching TV.



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