What Maisie Knew: 43. Unexpected Dismay

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The old story of the scorpion and the frog came to mind. Maisie would be the scorpion... striking out at people is part of her nature. Maybe someday she could heal and change. Maybe. In a way, it didn't matter, because I knew that from now on, at least a part of me would always have an eye on her, ever vigilant. I'd been stung already, and I wasn't going to get stung again.

What Maisie Knew: A Marcie Donner Story, by Kaleigh Way

 
43. Unexpected Dismay

 

I didn't tell Maisie every single thing, but I gave her the big picture of how Mark became Marcie.

We talked and talked. It brought me back to when we'd first met in the railroad-station restaurant, when the two of us went off by ourselves and got to know each other. Back then, it was easy. There was no teasing. It was just two girls getting to know each other.

It was that way again, but different. There'd been a crisis, a cataclysm, a meltdown, and we weren't the same two people any more. We knew each other before everything happened, but "before" was gone, now. It would never come back.

How was I different? I guess I had a bit more backbone. And Maisie? Maisie was — what's the word? — not shy... subdued, maybe?

Then the word came to me: tentative. We were both being tentative with each other. Why? In my case, it was simple: she'd hurt me and I knew she might hurt me again.

For Maisie, it was something else. No, I take that back: it was practically everything. Once again, someone had been out to hurt her. Specifically her. Only her. The kidnappers didn't want me, they wanted Maisie. Just for money. And once they got their money, she would have been killed. From the very beginning, that was the idea: she was meant to die, along with the two brothers.

Maisie got that. She understood the intention. No one needed to spell it out: Once again, just for her, the world was not a safe place.

It wasn't as though someone was trying to kill Maisie. It was worse than that. It was that she didn't matter. Maisie knew that her death was just incidental to the plan. She was expendable.

Yes, she was lucky: she wasn't hurt — not physically anyway. And yet, even though the blow missed her, it struck her anyway.

And in the midst of all that, she'd lashed out and hurt me. Me, one of the few people who puts up with her, who for some insane reason wants to be with her, to be her friend.

Maisie was vulnerable and afraid. Someone had tried to kidnap and kill her. She became a virtual prisoner in her father's house, and she had no one she could call. She knew she'd hurt me, she knew she'd given me enough reason to hate her forever. And she knew she might hurt me again if she wasn't careful.

It's like the old story of the scorpion and the frog, with Maisie as the scorpion. Striking out at people is part of her nature. Maybe someday she'll heal and change. Maybe. In a way, it doesn't matter, because I know that from now on, at least a part of me will always have an eye on her, ever vigilant. I've been stung already, and I won't be stung again.

She didn't tease me, not even a little. I think she finally realized what she stood to lose. I'm glad she didn't start, because I would have had to finally put my foot down. I had a little speech prepared for her, about how easily her teasing had turned mean, and how destructive it can be to a friendship.

I had a couple speeches ready, depending on which direction the conversation took, but thankfully I didn't get to use any of them. I didn't need to.

The fact that she'd wished me dead, and then I'd almost died... it was too much for her.

It was almost too much for me, too, but the thing is... I'm better equipped to handle the hurt than she is. I can't forget what she did — and I won't forget. I know that Maisie is capable of that, and much, much worse. If I shut her out of my life for good, I'd be perfectly justified.

But I won't. Not now, anyway.

And not because she needs me, and not because I should. And not because she's alone and I feel sorry for her, or because I'm such a good person. I do feel sorry for her, but that's not the reason.

It's because Maisie is my friend.

Mrs. Earshon had said that Maisie's heart is broken, and she was right. More than that, I think Maisie had her soul ripped out of her. I don't know if she'll ever get over the things that happen to her.

What I do know is that I'm not Maisie. I have a good life, and a good family, and I *can* get over it. For as long as I can be friends with Maisie, I *will* be friends with Maisie.
 

After we talked out my story, I listened to hers. She told me about her father. Even when I filtered out Maisie's exaggerations, he still sounded like a complete and very pompous jerk.

But, oddly — and this was SO not Maisie — she didn't linger on the subject. Usually, she loved to heap abuse on someone she despised. This time, she didn't.

Instead, she switched over to tell me about her father's new girlfriend, Chrissie, who seemed to spend a lot of time with Maisie. In spite of what Maisie said at the beginning of the call, this woman didn't sound half bad, and I said as much to Maisie.

"Yeah, I guess she's okay," Maisie admitted. "I shouldn't have said that stuff before, about her being all fake. She's not. At least, I think she's not. Aside from those gigantic breasts, she's okay. She actually listens to me when I talk. She's only the second — I mean, the third adult to do that."

"Who were the other two?"

"The first was a lawyer, but he got paid for it, so I don't know if that counts. The second was your mother... will you tell her I said hello? And the third is Chrissie. She's going to take me shopping for clothes later. When my father scooped me up, he didn't let me pack my bags, so I don't have anything to wear out here, except the stuff I brought to your house and my stupid school uniform."

"Wow, clothes shopping!" I laughed. "That'll be new for you!"

"Yeah," she admitted. "And Chrissie knows how to put things together in a way that I like."

"I'm glad," I told her.

"You're glad she knows how to put clothes together?"

"No," I said. "That's not what I meant, but it doesn't matter."

When she finally finished telling me about things she'd done with Chrissie, things Chrissie had said, things Chrissie had worn, we hung up. It had gone much better than I expected. I didn't have to be hard with Maisie, not this time anyway. And I was glad she had a friend out in California, or at least someone who seemed to be looking out for her.
 

I took a little bathroom break, and then I called the school. I expected to get a message machine that would give me another number to call, but instead Sister Honororia herself answered the phone. She told me that she was in her office "cleaning up" and that she was at my disposal, so after checking with Mom, I told her I'd be right over.

"Sister, do you mind if I don't wear my uniform?" I asked.

She gave a humorless bark. "Marcie, at this point, you could come in your bathrobe. Don't worry about the uniform."
 

Mom was silent on the drive over. While we were stopped at a traffic light, she turned and looked into my eyes. I don't know what she thought I was going to do when I saw the nun, but she didn't ask. She just smiled and said, "I hope you know how proud of you I am."

I fumbled for a tissue. She handed me one.
 

When we pulled up in front of the school, I said, "Mom, do you mind if I go in there alone?"

"No," she said, "If you're sure."

"I can call you when I'm done."

"I'd rather wait out here," she said. "I'll listen to the radio and think for a bit." She reached over and squeezed my hand.

I got out of the car and walked toward the school building. When I was halfway to the front door, Sister herself opened it, and ushered me in.

"I'm so glad you're alright," she said. "You are alright, aren't you?"

"Yes, sister," I replied, and we went into her office.

Another nun served us tea and cookies, and then left.

Sister Honororia spoke first. "Marcie, I can't tell you how mortified I am by my brother's behavior. I'd long suspected, and sometimes known, that he was... not always honest or faithful in his duties... but... he is my older brother, and in spite of the fact that he and I are adults... grown up... he was always... dominant. I should have known better and resisted. If I'd followed my instincts and spoken to him, dealt with him, long ago, perhaps even when he and I were children, none of what happened to you would have occurred."

"It isn't your fault, sister," I said.

She ignored my remark and went on. "I won't bore you with the history of my life with my brother, except to tell you that one of the reasons I became a nun was to escape his influence. That's not to say that I don't have a true vocation, but my brother was always a bully and a totalitarian.

"When he became a policeman, I hoped that his profession would channel and discipline his harmful and controlling tendencies. Instead, I think, he made it a playground for his vices.

"Selfishly, I hoped and expected that when I took my vows, I'd be sent far away, as a missionary nun. I wanted to go to Africa, to Gambia or Somalia. I thought I could help the poor. But that didn't happen. I didn't see how a willingness to take the worst job could have been denied, but it was. Apparently my skills, whatever they are, were more in demand right here in Flickerbridge.

"I should have realized, when I couldn't run away, when the one thing I wanted most was denied me... I should have looked for a reason. All these years I've resented the fact that I couldn't escape from my brother, but now I finally see–" her voice broke a little here, and she set down her teacup "–I see, with painful clarity, that God kept me here for a reason."

She took a few difficult breaths and calmed herself. Then she went on. "God kept me here because I, and no one else, should have stood in my brother's way. I should have drawn a line. I should have told him when he was wrong. There were times when I could — when I should have spoken to his superiors. I should have made it clear when he overstepped his bounds, and forced him to face the consequences."

She put her hands in her lap and looked at me. "However... I didn't do my job. I didn't do any of that. Not even once. Not even a little. I failed at the one thing, the only thing, that God has ever asked of me." Tears rolled down her face. "And so it fell on you. I'm sorry, Marcie. I'm sorry with all my heart."

"But sister," I protested, "it's really not your fault. You didn't do anything."

"No, Marcie. It is my fault. It's my fault for exactly that reason: I didn't do anything."

She looked at me in silence for a moment, then said, "And now, I can't help but think back to our first meeting. I asked you whether you were clever or good."

I smiled.

She continued, "And you said you might be both. How right you were. How right you were."

She sighed and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. "So! Are you coming back in January?"

"To school, you mean?"

"Yes, will you still be a BYHS student?"

"Oh," I said thoughtfully. I hadn't considered. When I first came here, I couldn't wait to leave, to go to public school, but now I felt... a part of the place. The thought of leaving never crossed my mind. "I'll be here, sister. I couldn't leave my friends."

"Yes, your friends. Susan... and Maisie, for whom you almost died. At my brother's hand..." The nun's face wrinkled up into a small, tight ball, and she began to cry. But only for a moment. "I'm sorry."

She took a quick breath and composed herself. Then she sipped some tea to steady herself before she spoke again.

"Well, Marcie, there is one more thing I want to tell you, and then I should let you go. It's a bit of news that I'm glad I'll be able to tell you myself. It's fitting that you should be the first student to hear. I'm leaving BYHS. In January, you'll have a new principal. I've already resigned from my post. After what's happened, in good conscience I couldn't possibly stay on."

"Oh, no!" I cried.

Her head jerked up at my sudden outburst, and slowly a half-smile appeared on her face.

"My, my," she said. "I certainly didn't expect that! Genuine dismay? Well, Marcie, that's a moment I'll treasure."

© 2007 Kaleigh Way

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Comments

whew, Marcie's feelign good, Maisie's feeling good,

Sister H is feeling guilt, and what a comment from her.

"And now, I can't help but think back to our first meeting. I asked you whether you were clever or good."... "And you said you might be both. How right you were. How right you were."

Marcie's an amazing kid. After the kidnapping, double murder, threat of death, and shooting her tormentor, she's capable of being "the adult" in her conversations.

I know Misty's been busy but I miss her. Wondering what's going to happen to her. Will she somehow remain a part of this group of friends? She about to "move on"? Guess we find out soon.

Nice job Kaleigh.

Several Epiphanies Here

Not quite applogies from either one, especially Maisie. She's muted, but does that realy portend a basic change. I'd have felt a lot better if she made a simple statement of "I hurt you, I'm sorry". Such simple words, they can be so hard to say. Some people will go to any lengths to not say them.

At least the Sister said them, not a full admission that she prejudged Marcie, but she did say "I'm sorry".

Karen J.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Expanding on earlier

Literally had to dash out the door this morning so only had time for a brief comment. Marcie is wising up, true, but she's still willing to be friends with Maisie and reveal her secrets. I know the old saying is "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer", but I've always preferred to keep them at a distance. It makes it harder for them to stick a knife in my back.

I'm not surprised that Sister H. resigned. In all likelihood her brother learned about Maisie's money from her, which means at the very least she was indiscreet with what might be termed "privileged" information.

But no, in spite of Marcie's emerging maturity, she is still a "turn the other cheek" person. Maisie is very much a victim of all that has happened, and I feel sorry for her, but I still wouldn't trust her. I hope she can get the help she needs. Assuming she comes back to her mom's, the two of them need to go to family counseling.

And I still want to know about the incident in the school hallway. Come on Kaleigh, you had to have put it in for some reason, it wasn't just a throwaway scene. You're killing me!

Edit/add: One other thing. The Sister asks Marcie if she is alright, and Marcie says yes. I would beg to differ there. If she tries to just 'put this behind her' and pretend she is fine now, she'll just make things worse for herself later. PTSD is a nasty thing, and can rear up and slap you down when you least expect it.

Karen J.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

The hallway scene

Is is really such a mystery?

It's not a throwaway. And there is a buildup to it. Misty and Marcie both say several times they worry about what Maisie might do. Marcie and Susan talk about her increasingly hostile behavior and how she's acting more and more "like a boy." Susan has a theory about why it's so: she's jealous of Marcie's relationship to both mothers. It pisses Maisie off, and she takes it out on Marcie.

The day it happens is the LAST day of the mom swap. After that, Maisie is stuck with her own mother for the foreseeable future.

When she knocks the books out of Marcie's arms, it slows Marcie down to the point that she misses her mother: she doesn't get to say goodbye. That's one reason, but I don't think that Maisie was really THINKING about what she did. She just saw Marcie with the awkwardly balanced books, and she knocked them down. This is what kids do. I've seen it with my own eyes in real life.

The other girls, who don't even know Marcie, kick her books around and step on her papers. The seniors put the books up high and far away. This is typical high-school behavior.

I think that's more than enough justification for the scene, but there is more: when Maisie calls, just before the abduction, you're not surprised that she's hostile. It doesn't seem out of character. She's already on an anti-Marcie tear, so calling her on the phone and verbally abusing her is not a big step.

That too, in my mind, would be enough, but there's another thing as well, which I'll talk about more in a postscript that I wrote yesterday, but I might as well get into it here.

The big question, the question behind a lot of what goes in the story is right in the title: WHAT MAISIE KNEW.

So, what *did* she "knew"? She knew about her parents, for one. But she also knew about Marcie, her secret.

She didn't know in a complete, articulated, fully formulated expression, such as, "Marcie used to be a boy," but she knows something. She can smell it. She knows there is a secret behind the "Mark" story. She grew up in Tarhent, and even though she didn't know Mark, she had heard the name, "Mark Donner", and that's why it rang a bell for her back in chapter 14, which was called "Outed Already?"

There were so many hints about what Maisie might know, but I don't feel like listing them.

But anyway, they were all odd things that didn't fit, and so they danced around in the back of Maisie's brain, but she couldn't put them together.

I guess I really blew that aspect of the story, since no one picked up on it. So many other aspects of the story were picked to pieces, but I think there were only one or two people who wondered (at least in the comments) why this is called "What Maisie Knew".

Anyway, I'll talk about it more in the postscript. And maybe after I've fixed the problems in Rules Are Rules, I'll figure out how to fix this, too.

Expected more

The fact that it did occur just before the swap, and just before the phone call, gave it a greater weight in my mind. It didn't seem to be an unthinking act, but one of deliberate malice. I at first attributed it to Maisie finding out about "Mark", but you said she didn't find out until after leaving school. So then I wondered why? Why attack somebody who is one of the very few friends she has? The idea that this was a burst of pure meanness on Maisie's part, well . . . .

Karen J.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Maisey's money and response to Karen's comment

I'm not surprised that Sister H. resigned. In all likelihood her brother learned about Maisie's money from her, which means at the very least she was indiscreet with what might be termed "privileged" information. posted by Karen.

Sorry Dear, but you must of mis-read things -
1. Kidnapper was gonna ransom to Daddy, He likely had no clue of Maisey herself was richer. We know this because Maisey's mom told Macie right after she had her cryfest
2. This is a small town. I'm pretty sure everyone in town the family was rich even if they were going thru divorce.

Well, Now We Want To Know About Where

Sister Honoria will be going and if she will still be around when Marcie has a misadventure?
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Uh...Wait a Minute?

Did I miss something?

"...once they got their money, [Maisie] would have been killed. From the very beginning, that was the idea: she was meant to die, along with the two brothers.

"Maisie got that. She understood the intention. No one needed to spell it out..."

I can't see any evidence that our bad cop was planning all along to kill Maisie and the hired kidnappers. The story seemed to say that he wanted to shoot Marcie because she could identify him (which Maisie couldn't) and that he shot the two brothers because they wouldn't do the dirty work themselves and as a consequence put him (Bad Cop) at risk.

But I haven't seen anything here that would give Marcie the impression that he wouldn't have released Maisie as promised after getting the ransom from her father, or that the two brothers wouldn't have been paid off out of the ransom money as they'd expected, if they'd picked up the right girl. Bad Cop has no motive for killing Maisie since if the plan had worked properly she never would have seen him or known who the mastermind was. (That's why the henchmen had locked their victim in the room, so that she'd never see who they were working for.) And he doesn't need to kill his partners in crime since as a cop he has more credibility than they do if they later try to implicate him, and they know it.

Eric

In answer to your Minute ..

I believe the author has foreshadowed this well enough.
As mentioned below, two shovels. Unless you believe that Bad Cop would have had Maisie help bury the two kidnappers, that means that at least one brother is digging, and it is nonsense to believe that one brother would willingly help the Bad Cop bury his sibling without trying to "get" Bad Cop.
That leaves two brothers burying Maisie, even if they had not known, or agreed to, do that.
Now, two witnesses, who can lead police to the location of the body then testifying against Bad Cop?
Credible. Credible enough anyway.
Especially if it was Bad Cop who knew of the location that the brothers would have had knowledge of but that Bad Cop would have known of (immaterial if it was a spot well known to all locals of course)
And if Bad Cop kills the two, he gets to keep all the money and not pay any kidnap related IOUs that the kidnappers might have ran on "credit" against the pay off.

In short, the two brothers had to die to not be able to testify against him, That is very much inline with the story, characters, and liabilities of the characters. The two shovels means that Maisie was going to die all along.

problem with your argument

i seem to remember that when the "bad Cop" first enters the room Marcie is being held in....(flash back scene)....

"Three sets of footsteps climbed the stairs and stopped in front of my door. "Wait a minute," the new voice said, "let me get this mask on," and some fumbling followed." What Maisie Knew: 39. Dead Like Me

Now i don't know about you but this leads me to believe that they did not have the intention to kill her other wise the "bad Cop" would not have bothered to put on the mask........

Unless..... me wanted to give her the shred of hope that she would live through this ordeal if she cooperated but do not believe for one minute that they are that smart.

well something to think about

love,
Aspin

He wouldn't have gone in

If Maisie had been abducted, the cop never would have gone into the room.

However, he didn't know who the girl was, and so he went in to find out.

If it had been anyone else, they probably wouldn't have recognized him. Marcie's realization of who it was precipitated everything that followed.

Some indication of it...

Back in chapter 39:
"What, are you stupid? I'm not asking you to adopt her! I'm telling you we have to kill her! There are two shovels out back. Go to the woods and dig a deep hole. As deep as you can. Deeper than six feet, if possible."

"I'm not killing anyone, especially a kid," the driver said. "Frank isn't either. We didn't sign up for that. We won't let you kill her, either."

"And why are there two shovels out back?" the bald one shouted. "You were going to kill her all along, weren't you?"

So ya, its very possible that he did plan to kill Maisie all along; or at the very least planned ahead for the possibility of things going wrong enough to need the equipment available. In either case, hearing those words could easily put Marcie in that frame of mind and Maisie, lacking self-confidence and already used to seeing the worst that adults can do, would easily make that leap. Even if it wasn't true...

Kristin Darken

Thanks, Kristin...

Exactly right. Marcie heard that exchange and Maisie would have believed it, even if it WAS only a backup plan in case of disaster. (I was going to add, "or the result if the ransom wasn't paid," but in that case Bad Cop would likely want to leave Maisie's body in plain sight, to cut off a long investigation into her whereabouts.)

Eric

Sins of Omission

As Edmund Burke is widely misattributed as saying, "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."

As F.D.R. did say, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."

And here, we see the destructive power of bullying -- destroying another's spirit to steal their power. Sister H. is certainly a victim of that. Despite her rebelliousness at her brother's bullying, her joining an order to escape, she never could, having on some level internalized it. By resigning, she's just following that same path, the one that says she's no good, that she'll never recover her spirit. A pity.

Marcie, on the other hand, is that shining beacon of spirit, which is why we all love and admire her. Her life (from Kaleigh's amazing pen) has conspired at every step to give her no apparent choice, of course, and with every (mis-?)adventure she just gets stronger.

So, is she going to let the failed Sister take the easy way out, or is she going to talk her into facing her failure and growing from it?

you have answered my biggest question

Since Marcie was kidnapped. I was really curious if when it all was resolved, sister Honororia would be vindictive toward Marcie over getting her brother in trouble or if she would sympathize with Marcie. I am glad she was understanding toward Marcie. Thank you Kaleigh for making sister Honororia as understanding as she is.

Oh no!

LOL... One DOES wonder if Sister H's resignation will be accepted. If it is, one wonders what the replacement will be like.

Interesting story by the way.

Annette

Well, now there's something I wasn't expecting

Well, well, well.

I wasn't expecting that.

Sister Horrorwhat'sherface ain't a bad old stick after all.

NB

Jessica
I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

I can't but love the way

I can't but love the way this book turns out :)

One of the best things the Author has written in this book is about Maisie.
And it's so perfectly correct. Some people will go out of their way to hurt others.

In Maisie's circumstance we for once get a reasonable explanation why she does it.
And then Marcie gives one of the best reasons I've ever read why she won't leave her.
It's a extremly mature and seasoned reasoning and a true act of empathy and compassion.

It would be nice to see more of that in 'real life' too.
Anyway this site contains some of the best writing I've seen yet on the Net.

Cheers
Yoron.