Josey said, “Jenn, if I do, I am not sure how I’d do it and not look like I’m just Josh in girl’s clothes. I know I won’t be able to do it on my own. Plus I’m afraid what my family will think of me”

Jenn says, “I’ll take you to my suite. We’ll help collect enough things for studying for now. You need to experience being Josey to make a good decision about this being you.”

‘Oh my, she’s hoping long term.’ Josey making out with her was fantastic, but what she’s thinking takes a 24/7 girl. I know I’m a girl but I never believed I'd get this chance, I’m not ready.

Jenn says, “I have a full-size bed. If we want to be staying together and we’ll both be finished exams come Wednesday morning. You can even call your parents and tell them I’m bringing Josey home.”

“Yeah. And what do you think my parents say? ‘O fine, we’re longing to see her.’”

Jenn says, “You’re an adult, they just need to accept if this is your decision.” 'Jenn is a type ‘A’ person and it fits with her thinking and her family. I’m more passive; I’m a turtle when it comes to moving ahead and making changes. Last night was something, I loved and believe this is me but I didn’t intend to follow through, not now and probably no time in the near future, if ever.'

I say, “But you know my parents…”

Jenn smiles with a serious glare, “I know your parents as well as you. It’s you that I am most anxious about. That’s why I want you with me. It will be you taking the needed steps. I’ll just be there holding your hand.”

“Josey, you need to shower and get dressed and made up so we can go to breakfast. We’ll help you with the finishing touches, just do all you can.”

Josey used Jenn’s shower and knew she needed to shave her legs and more for today. This was like a dream come true. Joshua has little to nothing in the way of facial hair and the facial cleansing mask has helped give Josey’s complexion a softer look. She’s using a facial scrub and lotion that helps to minimize the need of any concealer.

Her legs weren’t bad in getting through the yesterday. But she knew better than not to shave her legs and underarms to look as she wanted. Josh had no idea that Jenn was in the bathroom or what she could see. “I came in to tell you to make sure you shaved. It is good to see you making the decision on your own. Even your silhouette reflects you’re Josey.”

The shower curtain opens and quickly closes as Jenn scoots into the shower. She is soon using a big sudsy cloth to help wash Josey. She knows Josey is loving the attention. Jenn’s kisses to Josey’s back bring goosebumps. She loads up the sudsy cloth; handing it to Josey and guiding her hand down to Josh’s privates down in front of her body. Once the area is soapy, Josey dropped the cloth and is hand washing the crevices around the little sack and the shaft.

Jenn can tell Josey is feeling bad that she had become excited, but it wasn’t showing as it might. Jenn caused Josey to turn and gives her a warm embrace. “I’m more your sister when it comes to you like Josh.” Josey hugs Jenn hiding her eyes in shame, “I was afraid you wouldn’t understand. I love you more than you can ever know.”

Jenn’s voice was warm and happy as she said, “I think I do. My wish is that you will know how much I or another woman will love you and can feel your love. If I’m not to be the love of your life, I want to be the best friend after the one who loves you like no other.”

“Enough, for now, Josey, it will take time for you to find yourself and you’ll have all the time needed to explore the love and joy you have inside. I believe you’ll find much of it different than you might anticipate.”

Cori and Ainsley had gone down for breakfast ahead of the others to let the guys know they needed to be good or the women would eat separately from them. Josey was scared about going down to breakfast knowing the guys were there. Megan and Jennifer assured Josey that she looked fine and reminded her the guys were already friends.

Harry was reasonably nice at breakfast. He was surprised by how much Josh actually looked good as a woman. “You don’t need to be scared of us. You know we don’t bite as much as we bark. Who knows maybe Richard will actually like you more like this.” Harry had learned last night that Richard, Dick, now sees himself as liking men as well as women. It wasn’t a big surprise, but something he finally owned up to.

Josey had no interest in Tom, Dick or Harry as anything more than old friends.

Josey was careful about driving her car back to NW University in Chicago. Josey stopped and helped Jenn into her residence suite, also taking up the things that were Josey’s. They then went and got the things Josey needed, including a change for Josh.

Brad, my roommate, was surprised to see me like I was in my gathering some of my things. I had three exams left before I was finished with this semester. My notes, computer, tablet, books, and stuff had to come. I could use some of my shower stuff. A couple of oversized shirts as well as a few things that were hidden away.

Nan and Ginger have mixed feelings about me being in the suite with them, but Jenn already had Sofia’s permission to use her old room. Sofia had moved in with someone, and she would be back on Tuesday to get the rest of her belongs. Sofia was from the high school next to us and knew of Josh. She was now interested to see the transformation as she said, “I want to see Josey now so when we’re graduating in another year I’ll recognize her. Hopefully, she actually will be even a more convincing woman by then.”

Sof’ and I paid would pay for Chinese but she had already ordered before she came over and see me.

Tomorrow’s exam was for environmental statistics and analysis. It would include solving research problems as well as diagraming it for public understanding. Ph.D. Elizabeth Droll was one who never went with easily scored exams in her advanced courses. I have her the next semester and for a January focus course. Her grad assistants will help to give and monitor the exam. I’m sure she’ll also be there. It will be my first encounter as Josey with any faculty member. While they’re fairly liberal, a person in my position is not guaranteed how they well respond other than politically correctly outwardly.

I am in the satin pajamas I used the night before as I’m studying. Nan knocked and entered our suite as she had a question on notes from a class. “Damn Josey, you’re already relaxed and studying as I do. Will you also want to step out later and get some fresh air with us?”

I hadn’t thought of it and usually didn’t as I usually studied in one of the libraries and got the cold fresh air on my way back to my room. Thinking, I finally ask when and where. Nan says. “Tonight it will be at 1:30 there will be at least five of us, not counting you. We’ll walk toward the lake, how far we go will be determined by the wind and cold.”

She asked her questions and we discussed what we were taught and read. Nan’s still standing there and finally asks, “So?” I look up and she says point blank, “So are you walking with us?”

I ask, “Is Jenn going?”

Nan responds, “No and her umbilical cord doesn’t stretch that far. I guess not.”

Stunned with her forthrightness, I say, “It was just a question. Yes, I’d like to go.”

I had been fighting sleep a while before the walk. I had to use a coat of Jenn’s along with a fussy hat to try and stay warm. The women walked at a good pace while talking much of the time. Midway in the walk, Nan told them I was Jenn’s friend Josh. The second half of the trip, Nan and I were explaining the weekend and my becoming Josey. Adele spoke of a group I should be in when I’m back. She also volunteered to tell Dr. Droll “Josh Greene be coming to take the exam as Josey, but I would sign my exam as Josh Greene if it would be okay.”

I’m back from the walk ready to resume studying, but Jenn says “Your mother called and she wants you to call back NOW! It’s not an emergency but she can’t sleep since I told her about you. She wants you to know she’ll be out of earshot of your father.”

I quickly become anxious as I decided to call. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else anyway. “Hi Momma, I’m okay. How are you?”

She said, “Skip the pleasantries. Why weren’t you the one who called me?” I hadn’t known Jenn had called her. I was waiting until after tomorrow’s exam that’s if I could work up the nerve.

“Momma, it was our weekend get together and I wasn’t planning what happened,” Mom spoke… Then I responded, “No, I’m not denying that but I had never put the name Josey to being me. Nor did I expect to come home as Josey. …No. I’m not ashamed of her being me. It’s just…” My mother had asked and received a picture of me from Jenn. I expect it was more than one picture. Mom said, "You look good and content with yourself.

When I told her I hadn’t been to a salon. She said, "I'll try to get you an appointment for Friday or Saturday morning."

I tried telling her I didn’t need one since I had not fully decided anything yet. Momma said, “Having your hair done will make you more presentable to others who know you. It’ doesn’t need to be fancy or formal, just to present you as a young woman dear.”

She was going to tell my Dad and felt a need to tell Robin my youngest sister. I’m happy that mom is comfortable with me coming home as Josey and wanting to tell others about me. But she hasn’t mentioned Diana yet. “Mom you didn’t mention Diana; isn’t she already home from college?”

Mother says, “She is getting excited about her boyfriend, but it’s a sensitive relationship. His parents are set in their views. And well, I’m not sure how she would take your news. I know personally, it won’t be a big surprise to her. She knew you liked her clothes and were much closer than most brothers are. …Her David saw it as a big step in dealing with some of her LG friends if that tells you anything.”

“Well, Josh/Josey you need to get back to your studies… You said before Wednesday exam wouldn’t be hard; so I was wondering about coming that way and seeing you. I’d be staying at your Aunt Cathy’s. If you have the time I’d like to buy an outfit for my eldest daughter. Please thank Jenn for calling. Is there any chance you can get that extra bed in their suite?”

“Momma I can’t believe you not only accept this; you’re pushing it. What’s up?”

She surprised me in saying, “We caught you when you were smaller dressing up. I can’t prove it, but enough has gone on where your sisters’ clothes or mine are concerned since. Well, I don’t think it was one of us. You’re just better at hiding things now that you’re older. …Let’s say Jenn’s call wasn’t surprising.”

Mom asks, “I’ll ask your Aunt Cathy if I can visit her tomorrow night she and I can do a little holiday shopping. Then I see you for dinner. After your second exam, I’ll help Josey buy an outfit or two.” I’m not sure I can take that and try telling her, but she’s set on doing it.

I can’t believe it, with three hours of sleep I’m awake; getting ready as Josey to get breakfast and get to my exam. I’m wearing a long skater skirt with leggings, and a rose pink sweater Jenn’s giving me. Nan’s with Jenn and I at breakfast, “I text Dr. Droll; explaining how you’re showing up for the exam. She said as long as you sign it as Josh Greene you’re good. If you take the two hours you’re given for the exam; she’d like to visit with you for a minute afterward.”

I will need to communicate to Instructor Happel about Tuesday and Dr. Bridgett Saunders for my last exam on Wednesday. It’s a focused study of the rivers, lakes, and land of the upper Midwest.

Nan and I are there ten minutes before the exam. I was surprised that no one recognizes me until Nan tells Thalli. Thalli’s from an African nation, but by now was quite at home in speaking American English as British English was spoken in her country. “I can appreciate your difficulty in coming out. It very difficult for men to embrace being a girl in my country. I am sure there be many more than dare to show themselves. We talk sometimes. I am glad to be a friend.”

Clarice with a knowing eye smiled at me as she gave me my exam booklet. “Remember how to sign it please.” I gave a courteous thank you.

True to form the exam took most of the time given to us. I waited the time left over out in the hallway. Dr. Droll waved me back into the room. She started the conversation, “Hello Josey, I just wanted to personally welcome the new you. I have been a professor here for a while. This is not that surprising. I was wondering if you’d mind hearing from someone old enough to be your aunt.”

I smiled as I have a lot of admiration for her and quickly wondered if she could be a mentor for me as Josey. “Dr. Droll, I’m not quite sure what to say, except yes.”

She says, “This is as a friend, no Dr., please. I just want you to know my door is open to you. I hope others don’t frighten you enough to change you from being you. You’re a good student and I know you’ve taken flack for being a pro-environmentalist. Not the simple flag waver or one who pushes ‘like’ on FB. I hope you’re the same emerging as a young woman. Your friend Jennifer, says you’re for real. I respect her opinion as well as my knowing you.

“Despite being a so-called liberal institution, it can be hard on you as you become more visible. Some people you thought to be friends might not turn out to be. Others will feel it’s their duty to remold you into the image they want for you. Though you make a plausible woman visibly; there will be others who shine lights on all your blemishes. The truth is real women aren’t perfect, please don’t feel the need be, nor ashamed of whom you are.”

We had a short discussion and I’m to see her for a luncheon soon after I get back from the holiday break.

I got back to Jenn’s residence and started studying for the next day’s exam. I did notify Instructor Happel of my change; his response was, “Whatever.” He’ll see me tomorrow. I also contacted my counselor about my residence. He said, “If you can work it out with Jennifer and her roommates as well as the student who moved out; it can be done. You would need to put down a holding deposit until everything is approved and your payment is in for January and next semester.”

I told him, “I would be able to do that come tomorrow.” He sounded like a used car dealer, saying, “By tomorrow that room could be spoken for. I already have requests from women wanting to move.” I could have argued that it couldn’t be, but instead I used a credit card to hold it. The deposit could be lost if I didn’t get the room.

My studying was disrupted come six o’clock when Jenn told me, “I’ve heard from your mother. She and Aunt Cathy are taking us out to dinner in half an hour.”

I said, “She didn’t call me. How can she expect me to be ready on time?”

Jenn giggled, “Your suitemate told her. Now you get ready, you don’t need to wear anything fancy.”

I said, “Heck, I don’t. It will be the first time I’ll be seeing my Mom as Josey and she sees me as a daughter. Tell her when she gets here where they can park and do not come on up for fifteen minutes. I’m getting cleaned up to look nice.”

Nan was there and laughed, “That’ll be quick, you’re thinking like a woman who’s been at this.”

I tried to hurry but after I cleaned up, pulling a snug pair of panties and stockings that Jenn had out for me. I was feeling so many sensations shoot from my legs throughout my body. I drew attention from Jenn and Nan. Nan said, “Girl control yourself or I’ll throw some ice down your back to cool you off.”

“I didn’t make sounds like that!”

Jenn snapped, “Oh yes you did! We love it, but your mother and aunt may not.”

The embarrassment brought me back to earth, though pulling the pretty skirt up my legs, added to what I was experiencing. I put on a bright pink bra not realizing my bright pink bra would show through. I hear Mom and my Aunt enter the suite as I’m stepping out to greet them. I’m quickly distracted by Nan and Jenn simultaneously saying “Oops.” Mom and Aunt Cathy look around and it took a minute for my mother to recognize and figure which is me. Then her hand goes up to her mouth stifling a comment.

Jenn stepped to me and whispered, “Act as though you were intending to have your bright pink bra saying ‘I’m a girl’.” I wink and whisper my thanks back. I stepped forward saying, “Hi Momma did you recognize me? Hello Aunt Cath, I didn’t mean to shock you. I didn’t think you’d be here yet. I was going to ask Jennifer and Nan if this was too flamboyant to go out for a bite.”

Mother says, “If they won’t, I will. Please find something more appropriate for a quiet supper. The university community might see this as normal. I’d like a chance to ease into coming to know my daughter this evening.

Jenn guides me back by the arm, saying aloud, “Let me help you find something… Mrs. Greene and Aunt Cathy, please ask Nan if you need anything.” We were no sooner back in Jennifer’s room and the door is still closing, when I burst out in a laugh that I didn’t recognize. My girl laugh is cute but strangely different than anything I’d have expected.

Jenn grabs my hands before I can tear my blouse and bra off. “You don’t want to damage either of these. Someday you’ll intentionally be wearing them. The blouse actually looks good on you, you just didn’t know all it was showing… How about this shimmering red blouse, it’s very appropriate for the season. And with this silver scarf, you’re appropriately wrapped as a new daughter for her mom.”

“Would it be okay if I wore the 2 1/2” heels?” Jenn’s smiles said yes.

When we were eating Aunt Cath said, “For once you being a small a framed person has its benefits. Is this the secret that my Aubrey would never tell me about?” I had forgotten about that. It has been seven years since Cousin Aubrey caught me and three since I last dressed up with her.

“She said, she hadn’t told anyone, but her friend Tricia.”

Aunt Cathy says, “If she told Tricia, you can be sure others knew as well, including your sister Andrea.”

The meal was good, but can’t remember much more about it than that. It was pure joy to be able to talk openly that Josey really is me. And then to talk like a woman with other women.

Once into our conversation, my mother got this stern look that I recognized from when she would get terribly upset with me. Not so patiently, quite nervously I waited. She waited to until she saw I was nervous worried and wanting to go to use the bathroom. “Josey, you could have been more considerate and better with your timing of this announcement. Many of my Christmas gifts are now unsuitable for you.” I was in shock and it took a moment for it to register that she was joking with me. I was scared that I did something grossly mistaken.

“Momma…” I began but now hurried off to the women’s room.

I studied ‘til after one in the morning, subjected some things to memory and took a relaxing shower. Jenn was awake and partially dressed before she woke me and with a cup of coffee in hand she watched me. I chose a long plaid skirt to keep me warm, a creamy white pullover sweater. The bumps on the top gave me a feminine look I long dreamt of. I was turning in front of a mirror to see how I looked when I noticed Jenn watching me. I said, “You think this is foolish of me to act like a young girl?”

Jenn stood, putting her coffee down, “No, I'm pleased to see you blossom and enjoy yourself. I wonder how many times you dreamt of a day like today. …You have an exam to take and then you’re to be treated by your mother to go shopping. I’ve got to enjoy these as precious moments. It gives me joy if I helped in making this possible.” Jennifer’s smile was glowing and it was for me, not her own benefit.

I moved to give her a warm hug, I experienced how it’s different from a man hugging her. She said, “Someday your breasts will be warmly mushed like mine are and we’ll know the happiness of the other without words.” She was able to see by my look that I understood what she was saying.

Jenn had two pre-med exams today with the first beginning at 9:00 a.m., while I had one beginning to 10 o’clock. I saw her off thinking to myself how wonderful it is to have such a friend. A half hour later I caught the University transit to my exam. Happel clearly did not recognize me when I asked his grad assistant for my exam envelope. I heard him say as I stepped away, “A dress doesn’t make him a woman.”

His negativism stuck in my mind as I had trouble getting myself started. The first three questions came slow, but once started I found the exam relatively easy. Having finished my exam in plenty of time’ I proofread it and found three trick questions he had put in. Happel had a reputation where the answer would not be a, b, c, or d offered. But was the unlisted ‘e’ where you needed to give the answer and explain. I would end up being the only person with a perfect score because of that.

The exam caused me to wonder again if Josey is somehow different from Josh. My experience as Josh was not of going back and check my exams but to be happy and get out of there when I could.

I was waiting for the bus back to Jenn’s when Miya stepped over and asked, “I saw you leave Haller Hall the same time I did, and then at the exam, but I don’t recognize you.”

I introduced myself as Josey, we agreed to get lunch and eat together. We were eating and talking when suddenly she said aloud, “Josh Greene.” Her hand instantaneously reached out for me as she apologized. “I didn’t mean to blurt that out, nor to embarrass you.”

I felt guilty that I hadn’t openly shared who I was. “I’m sorry I wasn’t open about it.” She had experienced more students finding themselves or coming out than I had.

Miya said, “I can’t quite identify, but there were little things that were different. …We’re not close friends but I know who you are and have always like you, especially when we’ve worked together on environmental projects. I’m enjoying coming to know this side of you.”

My phone vibrates and I know it’s my mother. “Mom, I’m in the café eating with a new friend. …No. It would have been nice to have someone to help me but no, Jennifer has a second exam today. I will be up to the suite to freshen up and shortly be ready.” The call ended and I began to excuse myself from Miya.

“I’ve enjoyed lunch and our visit, but my mother came to see her new daughter and take me shopping.” I paused and then asked, “You wouldn’t be interested in helping a new girl going shopping, would you? You said your flight isn’t until tomorrow.”

Miya smiles, “I need to get a gift for my mom yet. It would be nice to have someone to shop with especially if it’s nothing within walking distance. I’ve been through all the stores close by.”

I quickly write Jenn’s suite number and my phone number and shove it at Miya. Miya quickly responds, “That’s one of the little things. It’s a rare girl who will reach out and shove something like that.” She has my attention and I’m hoping she’ll explain.

“A woman is more likely to offer something more than force it on a person. I’m sorry if that sounds a little picky, but I thought you might want to know.”

I say, “That is exactly the kind of thing that I’m learning are different. The Josey inside really wished she learned more things growing up.”

Miya says, “We can talk for an hour but we’re not going to be ready for your Mom. If you’re going to wear a skirt; I’ll change and meet you at your friends’ suite residence…”

To be continued, one more chapter…