Side-Effects May Vary

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The abrupt opening of the front door with force made Astrid jerk awake. She managed to straighten up just in time as a customer stormed into the shop. Said customer looked trashy with her huge breasts, pouty lips, and massive bubble butt. It made Astrid cringe. She had a hunch what this was about.

"You!" the woman shouted while pointing at Astrid. "It is all your fault!"

"Miss, please calm down," Astrid said while raising her hands in a none threatening gesture.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? Look at me!" The woman yelled. "This is not what I wanted."

"You are a previous customer?" Astrid asked.

"I was just here yesterday," the woman yelled back.

Astrid furrowed her brows. "We had only one customer yesterday. It was a man who bought ..."

"Exactly!" the woman snapped. "I was that man. It was me who bought a hair tonic against receding hairline and now look at me."

"A full mane of hair," Astrid observed dryly.

"No! Yes. But it also turned me into a woman! And I look like one of those tramps who pick up sailors at the docks!"

"Miss. You are aware that this is an unlicensed potion brewery shop? We are not part of the guild."

"What does that have to do with anything?" the blond snapped.

"Well...," Astrid said and pointed to a sign behind her.

Due to this being an unlicensed shop we only have access to second-grade ingredients. As result side effects may occur. These can be: a runny nose, extensive sneezing for a few days, magical drunkenness, hiccups, bend gender, blue hair, fast-growing toenails, spontaneous barking, and slight rashes. By buying potions from us you agree to know about these side effects and acknowledge us as not responsible for occurring side effects.

"T-that..." the woman cut herself off. She cursed herself and then muttered. "I knew I should have taken my business to a licensed potion brewer! How am I supposed to pay now for a potion to get my gender back?"

"I think you mentioned job opportunities at the docks...," Astrid suggested.

"How dare you! I will tell everyone to stay away from this scam of a shop." And just like that, the woman stormed out again.

With a deep sigh and a shake of her head, Astrid stood up. The shop would be fine for a moment and walked into the backroom. There, behind potions and books, was a man napping.

Astrid grabbed a broom and poked him with it over the clutter that littered the room.

"What?" the man asked confused. Looking around the room till his eyes found Astrid. "What is it?"

"Master Alard, we had another customer complaining about side effects."

"Astrid, they always complain about side effects. You did show them the sign, right?

"Of course. But since I started working here three customers complained about side effects."

"Side effects may vary and occasionally occur. Nothing unusual."

"Of course it is. We only had three customers and all ended up genderbend."

"Do we have a problem?" Master Alard asked sharply.

"Look," Astrid said while stemming her hands on her hips. "I don't care how customers leave this shop. With tits or with a dick or both. I want to get paid for my work and those three customers can't even cover half of what you owe me for one week of work."

"One week of napping is more it," Master Alard said and quickly raised his hands. "Now don't get angry. You will get paid. We don't really need those customers."

"But..."

"Don't worry. Think about it. Who profits if customers stay away from unlicensed potion shops?"

"The guild? You work for the guild?"

"Of course not," Alard said with a grin. "Deniability. You understand. My shop may receive some donated funds each month though."

"I see," Astrid said and gave him a grin. "Then I better get back to work and sell useless potions." She turned to leave, but then stopped. "One last question. Does everything sold in this shop bend genders?"

"Of course not!" Master Alard said with mock annoyance. "All but the gender-bending potion."

Astrid laughed and slipped out. To resume her napping behind the counter.

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Comments

Of course!

Why would one expect a potion to do what it's supposedly brewed to do! (Rolls eyes!). On the other hand, a full mane of hair would be nice! lol. Loving hugs Talia

Just what was needed

to brighten up YADDWGS (Yet Another Dull Day With Grey Skies)
Samantha

giggles

good one!

DogSig.png

Or is it

tmf's picture

... embrace your new curves :)

Peace and Love tmf

Confused

Wait.
Stories have morals?
Why didn't anyone mention that to me?

Ha! Just kidding.
The moral is: if you are a hack find someone who pays for you to be one. Or so...

Ha! Brilliant Business Model!

"Side-Effects May Vary" indeed!

At least Astrid's gonna get paid! And a good lesson in Caveat Emptor for the Emptor!

Interesting business model

Interesting business model indeed.
Pay your incompetent competition to stay in business so that you can charge more for your stuff.