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Trials and Tribulations

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Chapter 3

I felt my chest where the nipples were. They did feel puffy and the nipples itched a lot. Auntie gave me some cream to rub in, but it didn't seem to help much. Maybe it took time to work?

Evidently, Auntie was going to take me shopping the next day for some bras. That sounded like fun (not). Mind you anything to stop that annoying itching was okay in my book.

It looked like my body was maybe trying to tell me that I was a girl. I would like that, no I would love that!

And now the story continues…

The very next morning we had a caller.

The doorbell rang just as I was passing the front door. I had opened the door without thinking and my heart did a sort of flip-flop when I saw a policewoman standing in front of me.

She smiled.

‘Samantha?’

I nodded.

‘Is your aunt or uncle in?

I hadn't noticed but Uncle Brian came up just then.

‘Hello Inspector, can I help?’

‘Yes, is it okay if I come in? I have some news for you.’

Uncle ushered the inspector in and in a few minutes, we were all sitting in the kitchen, even Megan, who had somehow crept in. She stood in the back, keeping very quiet about it.

There were tea’s all round and it all seemed quite friendly. Surely I wouldn't be arrested if the inspector was having a cuppa and bickies with us?

I glanced outside and felt a tiny bit of relief when I saw that there was no large van with bars on it outside…

‘I thought that it would be best if I came and visited you rather than drag Samantha here down to the station. As you know, we visited the crime scene shortly after being told about the incident. Everything that Samantha told us was corroborated in what we found there. We did refer the matter to The Crown Prosecution Service who have ruled that in their opinion, you were only protecting yourself in circumstances where you were in imminent danger of losing your life. Normally these things take longer to process, but due to the trauma that you are obviously experiencing and the fact that you are a minor, your case was expedited and fast-tracked.

‘I have to tell you that if he had lived Samantha, your father would have been charged with at least manslaughter for killing your mother. It wouldn't have been considered as murder as it wasn't premeditated. Charges would have also been brought regarding his knife assault on you, probably grievous bodily harm. As far we are concerned, no charges will be brought against you and you are free from any restrictions’.

I looked at the inspector and then at everyone else.

‘I...I’m not going to be charged and not sent away then?’

As you can tell, what she had said hadn’t truly sunken in.

‘You are as free as a bird,’ said the inspector smiling.

Of course, I did the girly thing and burst into tears. But that was alright as I wasn't the only one to shed a tear that morning. Even the hardened inspector's eyes seemed to glisten a bit!

So, I was free from the worry that had been gnawing away at me. What with the flash-backs and horrid dreams that had kept me awake ever since that awful night when my world fell apart, I had had the dread of being charged with manslaughter. Now I could get on with my life.

Me, being me, I still worried a lot. What would happen to me now? My Aunt and Uncle said that they would look after me, but I had no idea if that would be temporary or permanent. I had no other relatives that I knew of. Auntie had told me that there were a few relatives, but they were spread far and wide and that she had very little contact with them other than the occasional Christmas card.

After the inspector had gone, I went to my room to think. I wasn’t alone for long.

‘Hey Sammi,’ said Megan as she burst into my room without knocking, ‘isn't it brilliant? You aren't going to prison. No breaking rocks or sewing mailbags for you. Do they still do that? We had a lesson about prison conditions and it didn't sound very nice. Anyway, what are you up to?’

I shrugged, trying to keep up with her changing subject, mid-stream.

‘Not much, just having a think.’

‘Don’t start to do that, you get all mopey when you start thinking.’

‘I am not mopey.’ I replied indignantly. ‘I might be sad sometimes and maybe a bit down but mopey, never.’

She shrugged.

‘Have it your own way. Anyhoo, Mum said that it's about time you had your own clothes.’

‘I have some clothes.’

‘Puh-lease! Do you call those rejects that you brought with you the right clothes for a teenager?’

‘Whats wrong with them and anyway, I’m wearing some of your cast-offs at the moment.’

‘They are not cast-offs they are loaners and I have you know that I have wonderful dress sense, all the girls say that.’

‘I haven't heard one of them say that you dress sensibly.’

I haven't told you, but Megan liked colourful things, all the colours of the rainbow and not necessarily matching. Sorry, brown and blue don't really go together and as for pink and orange...

At that moment, I was wearing a pink Angora sweater and a black skirt. I liked them because they were pretty and very much what I considered to be “my look”.

I had to fight tooth and nail to get her to let me wear clothes that didn't clash. It was hard work, I tell you!

She sniffed.

‘What do they know anyway.’

I giggled and then gave her big hugs. Girls do that you know and no-one thinks that its silly. If I was in boy mode, she would have probably slapped me. Correct that, she wouldn't because she was a nice person and as far as I was concerned, regardless of my gender, she was my BFF.

It was strange how Megan and I sort of gelled so quickly. We always seemed to be on the same wavelength and we finished each other's sentences more often than not. All this after only knowing each other for a few days. Auntie said that it was very much like my mum, her twin sister and her. When they were young, they used to be exactly the same.

Looking at Megan and me together, we looked so much alike, not twins, but close. Mind you with her slight Welsh lilt and my more London English accent, I could see that people might get a bit confused about us.

That afternoon found me, Megan and my aunt in Brighton doing a “shop” as Megan called it. For some reason, Uncle Brian couldn't come. He mumbled something about sorting out his stamp collection, but as I found out later that he never collected stamps, it was a bit of a whopper of a lie. Why didn't he just say that he hated shopping for clothes, especially girls clothes?

Auntie just said that we were better off without his whinging and whining while we tried out clothes. Who was I to argue?

It was refreshing to be able to forget my problems for a while as I enthusiastically tried on countless clothes. Before we left home, I did have a quiet conversation with Auntie.

‘I can’t afford to buy anything.’ I said quietly.

She looked at me with an expression that I had seen on a number of occasions. It was quizzical and kindly, but firm.

‘Now don’t be silly Samantha. You have had years and years where you didn’t get any birthday or Christmas presents from us and we are just making up for lost time. Anyway, we are not poor, to be frank, we are well off, what with Brian’s job and the fact that we inherited a very large sum from Brian’s grandfather. A few hundred pounds spent here and there will not break the bank. Now tell me that you are going to enjoy yourself.’

‘Yes Auntie,’ I replied, grinning.

Churchill Square Shopping Centre in Brighton was where we headed first. It was large, bright, full of people and had plenty of shops for us to go into and try as many clothes on as possible.

I lost count of the shops we visited and the things that I tried on. Of course, Megan had to get in on the act and she was as enthusiastic as me.

At first, I was shy about trying things on. I was always aware that I might be found out and thrown out of this or that shop for going into ladies changing rooms and getting undressed. But I needn't have worried, as none of the changing rooms were communal and I could easily get away with it.

You might think that I was scared of being clocked as the expression goes. I was, but after a while, when I saw that no-one was pointing at me and shouting ‘boy in a dress!’ I gradually relaxed and started to enjoy myself, just a bit.

I had a nagging tummy ache but managed to avoid thinking about it too much as I got swept up in the moment.

Steadily, the number of bags we carried grew and grew and I started to get a bit anxious. The Christmas music that was being piped in all the shops was starting to get on my nerves. The whole shopping centre was heaving with people trying to buy last-minute bargains. I wasn't used to this even when I presented as a boy. I hated big crowds, they made me nervous.

Walls appeared to be crowding in on me and I started to hyperventilate.

Auntie could see that I was getting stressed out and she took us out of the shopping centre, dropped our bags in the car and then took us to a relatively quiet restaurant on a narrow road.

As soon as I was out in the open again, I started to calm down and not sound like an asthmatic sheep. In a few moments, I was more or less feeling normal again, apart from the nagging ache in my tummy…

Megan started talking excitedly, nothing unusual there! She was full of herself. She had managed somehow to get almost as many clothes as me. I had winced at her colour choices but who was I to criticise? I still wasn't one hundred percent sure of what look I was going to go for and as such I chose a variety of colours and styles, from ultra-girly to almost (but not quite) Goth.

I had bought dresses, skirts and blouses, formal and casual. Undies that made me blush and also some that were a bit staid and boring, for school, whenever and wherever I went. Two coats, one red one black, several pairs of shoes, some for school and others for other times and even a pair of high heeled stilts recommended by Megan, only three inches but two inches higher than I had ever worn before.

I loved the fabrics that I could now wear. No more boring drab boys clothes and hiding what light I had under a bushel.

In the restaurant, I had some sort of salad, it was nice and light and it made a change from burgers or fish and chips. Auntie had the same and Megan had...you guessed it, a burger and chips. I did make up for it by having a scrumptious cream cake for afters, despite my tummy. Now that is what I would call a balanced meal!

It was nice sitting in the restaurant having a nice meal and chatting with two people that I was growing to love. All this was in distinct contrast to my previous life just a few days before. It was all a bit unreal like it was just a dream. A dream that I might wake from at any moment. If it was a dream, I never wanted to wake up!

All too soon we finished our meal and we had to move on.

Auntie said that I needed a haircut and told me that she had made an appointment for me at her salon. I was worried about that. Whenever I was told go to the barbers, Dad always said come back with a short back and sides. The fact that I had managed to keep my hair long was because I told the barber to just do a slight trim. I usually got a clip round the ear for my trouble from my ever-loving father, but to be honest, Dad was more interested in himself rather than me by that time, so I always reckoned that I got off lightly. Mum didn't mind me having slightly longer hair, she always said that I had nice soft hair and that somehow it suited me. I did wonder if she really wanted a daughter rather than a son. If she could only see me now...

I took my mind off thoughts of Mum and the fact that I was missing her so much, as I sat in the chair with a pink robe thing on and Sandra, Aunties hair stylist got to do her magic on me.

And magic it was. At first, I was a bit concerned as I seemed to be losing so much hair, armfuls of it. I was told not to worry and that I should wait and see. Auntie and Megan were over to the side reading old magazines. I wanted to shout out that I didn't want short back and sides, but then I thought that I was being silly and that Auntie wouldn't let Sandra do anything that nasty to me. I did wonder though if I could get a wig or something...

So I sat back, closed my eyes and waited for the result. I was a bit tired and light headed as I hadn't had much sleep lately.

I must have dropped off and I woke up with a start when someone tapped me gently on the shoulder.

‘Whah, what?’

‘Wake up sleepyhead. Want to have a look at yourself?’

Sandra stepped out of the way and I could see someone in the mirror and that someone was me!

Or rather it was a version of me that I had never seen before. Somehow, my face had makeup on and my eyes looked huge, almost Bambi-like. My lips were fuller and very, very pink. But it was my hair that really took my attention.

It seemed longer and fuller and just touching my shoulders, had a middle parting but with a small fringe. With the makeup, it made me look even more girlie than I thought that I could ever be. I had always had this nagging doubt about looking like a boy in a dress, but this vision was one hundred percent feminine.

I put my hand up to my hair and noticed that somehow I had bright pink nails to match my lips. How long had I been asleep? I wondered.

‘Well?’ asked Sandra, ‘What do you think?’

‘I...I look lovely?’

‘Yes, you do honey and don’t let anyone else say otherwise. Now, do you want to show the others what we’ve done?’

I nodded, not really into speech at that moment.

Auntie and Megan were over in the waiting area and they both looked up when I went across to them. I could see them both do a sort of double take.

‘Wow Sammi, you look great!’ exclaimed Megan.

They both stood there open-mouthed.

‘God, Samantha, you look just like your Mum when she was your age. You are so pretty!’

‘Well as you were Mum’s twin, you were pretty too and you still are!’ I replied, choking up slightly but trying not to cry as I did not want to have racoon eyes or whatever it’s called.

We all sort of had a group hug and then I gave Sandra a hug too as I thanked her profusely. These girlie showings of affection were okay by me!

Before we left, Auntie asked if I wanted my ears pierced. It was something that I had always wanted and I just nodded.
A few moments later and after two tiny screams, my ears had tiny gold studs in them. My ears throbbed a bit, but I could accept that, as a girl has to suffer for her appearance!

We arrived home sometime later. As we passed through the town, It had been nice to see all the houses with the Christmas lights up and twinkling away. Our house (I called it our house because until it was decided what they would be doing with me, it would be my home) had some nice blue lights around the windows and door and there was actually a Christmas tree in the front garden, also with those bright blue lights on it.

‘Very pretty,’ I thought.

Megan was super stoked about Christmas but I wasn’t. My future still hung in the balance and I wanted a bit of certainty in my life. My Aunt and Uncle weren't saying much about what lay in store for me in the new year except that they wanted the medical side of things sorted out and that they were trying to find out the legal side of things regarding custody. I was hoping that I could stay with them and Megan sort of assumed that that would be the case, but I wasn’t holding my breath.

My confidence had been knocked sideways due to all that had happened to me and I wasn’t about to raise my hopes about anything.

That night, I was very tired after all that we had done that day. Also, I still had a slight tummy ache that wouldn’t go away, probably due to the large piece of cake that I consumed, or is that gorged, in an unladylike manner. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make a fuss. So I just went to bed. It was nice to be able to wear one of the new nighties that I had just bought. It was sky blue in colour and was satin and felt very nice against my hairless skin.

I had a strange dream. I was up to my neck in water and it was very dark, probably because I couldn't open my eyes. My tummy felt like it was on fire. I tried again and again to open my eyes and I even called out for help, but the water started lapping over my face and I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper and then everything just stopped...

Dad was coming at me with a knife, Mum was on the floor covered in blood.

He backed me up to the wall and then he stabbed me in the tummy.

It hurt so much that I screamed...

‘Sammi, wake up!’

‘Sammi, come on, wake up!’

I opened my eyes and then immediately closed them. The light was just too bright.

‘Samantha, come on girl, open your eyes, please!’

That was Auntie, what did she want? I was so tired and I just wanted to go to sleep; at least my tummy had stopped hurting...

But I was so thirsty, why was that. My mouth felt all fury and I had a sore throat, maybe I had a cold or something.

I slowly opened my eyes and blinked, everything looked so bright. Funny that, I had shut the curtains in my bedroom and had turned out the lights. Maybe it was morning again.

My eyes snapped into focus. Auntie was leaning over my bed and looking very concerned.

‘Hello Auntie, is it time to get up?’

‘How are you honey?’

It was then I realised that I wasn't in my bedroom. It looked suspiciously like a hospital room!

Auntie was by the side of me and Megan was at the end of the bed, looking at me with a worried expression.

I also started to feel some pain, first in my arm and then down below, where I was feeling a dull ache.

I looked at my arm there was a tube coming out of it that led up to a bag on a stand thingie.

Down below, I felt a stabbing pain.

‘Ouch,’ I cried.

‘I’ll call a nurse,’ said Megan, leaving the room in a hurry.

‘Why am I in hospital?’ I asked, trying to ignore the pain which had now gone back to being a nagging throb.

‘You screamed out in pain and we rushed into your bedroom. At first, we thought that you were having a nightmare, but we couldn't wake you up. You were all hunched up in bed and moving about and it looked like you were in pain. We called 999 and luckily an ambulance was nearby. As soon as the paramedics saw you, they knew that there was a problem. They took your vital signs and realised that they had to get you to hospital urgently. They had no idea what the problem was. I came with you in the ambulance and Brian followed in the car. Megan stayed at home with a neighbour to look after her. She wanted to come, but we didn’t think that it was wise as we didn’t know what was going on.’

‘What is going on?’ I asked.

Just then a nurse came in followed by an out of breath Megan.

The nurse came over and smiled.

‘Hello Samantha, I’m pleased to see you back with us. Are you in pain?’

I nodded biting my lip.

‘Right, hang on a mo.’

She did something to my drip and a few seconds, miraculously, the pain went away. The problem with that was that I started feeling a bit sleepy and out of it.

I was struggling to stay awake. I wanted answers and I wanted them now but I was fighting a losing battle.

Auntie loomed over me.

‘Don’t worry honey, just rest. I will make sure you know all you need to when you wake up and aren’t in so much pain.’

With that, I sort of zonked out and knew no more.

~*~

When I woke up again it was daylight outside and I didn’t feel anything like as uncomfortable as I was before. I yawned and stretched but stopped stretching as I could feel a slight pulling sensation coming from down below and also my arm was hooked up to a drip.

No-one was in the room but me and I wondered how long I had been there. I wondered even more as to why I had landed myself in hospital and what had happened to me. I was wearing one of those unflattering hospital gowns that was open at the back. I lifted up the covers and looked under. It looked suspiciously like I was wearing some sort of nappy with a tube coming out of it. I assumed that it was a catheter and I wasn’t too happy about that.

I should have been more cheerful about not having much pain anymore, it was there, but it was a dull ache in the groin and that was about it. I could feel the needle of the drip in my arm and it scratched a bit, but it wasn’t that uncomfortable. I had a theory that if something hurt in one place and if you were hurting somewhere else, then it would be overlooked by the body…. Well, I know what I mean.

I stared at the ceiling for a while and soon got bored. I was in a room by myself and I wondered why I wasn’t in a ward with ill people. Then I saw that this room looked a bit posh for National Health. Nice carpets on the floor, actual wallpaper, expensive looking prints on the walls, 32 inch TV on the wall and from my bed and I could actually see trees outside the window. Also, it was quiet. NHS hospitals were noted for their noise with bedpans crashing, people walking past, their heels clicking and clacking on yucky lime green lino floors, you get the picture. It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to deduce that I was in a private hospital room. I thought that it must be costing Auntie and Uncle a fortune to have me in there. I wondered if the meals would be nice. I was beginning to get hungry and I would have killed for a nice juicy burger…

I still wondered what had happened to me as I had annoyingly zonked out before Auntie told me all about it…

The door suddenly crashed open and Megan came in, she was sucking on a straw, it looked like she was drinking coke or something.

‘Hi Sammi, you’re awake.’

‘I know that.’ I snapped, my mouth watering at the prospect of having a coke or anything tasty for that matter. My mouth felt like sandpaper and my throat was as dry as the Gobi Desert.

‘Ooh a bit tetchy today, aren’t we?’ she replied, sitting down in a chair by the side of the bed.

I winced slightly at her choice of colours today, green and pink didn’t go. Didn’t she have any fashion sense? I let it go, I had more important things to discuss.

‘Meg, what happened?’

She looked strangely cagey.

‘Erm, I’m not allowed to talk to you about that. Mum said that she would do nasty thing to me if I did.’

‘Come on cuz, tell me pleeeeeease?’

I batted my eyelashes and tried to look all sweet, innocent and vulnerable.

‘Yuck, don’t do that, I’m not a boy you know. I’m immune to that sort of thing.’

I sighed.

‘Oh well, I tried. Can I at least have a suck of your coke?’

She looked shifty again.

‘Sorry, we were told not to give you anything not cleared by the doc’s. You can evidently have water though. Want some?’

I nodded, feeling very hard done by.

She poured me some water from a jug and handed the glass to me…

‘Look Sammi, I’m sorry I can’t say anything. Mum’s went home a while back to have a wash or something, she’s been here for two nights and had started to pong a bit. Dad’s around somewhere but made it clear that I have to behave myself and not tell you anything about what happened. The doc is coming…’

She paused and looked at her watch.

‘…in a few moments, so you have to hang in there. It’s good that you are awake, as they want to talk to you about things.’

‘What things?’

‘Erm…’

Just then the door opened and a lady doctor in a white coat came in, together with a nurse. The doctor smiled, then looked at Megan and frowned.

‘Hop it Megan.’

Megan gave me the thumbs up and left, not before poking her tongue out at the back of the doctor while the nurse tried to repress a smile.

‘Well Samantha, how are you feeling?’

‘Not too bad, It’s a bit uncomfortable down below though.’

‘Yes, sorry about that, we had to do a few things down there…’

Just then, the door opened and my aunt and uncle walked in. Megan tried to follow, but she had the door closed in her face. I smiled as I heard her curse. I didn’t know that she knew that word!

After the usual, ‘how are you’s?’ from Auntie and Uncle, the doctor continued.

‘You probably want to know what happened to you. You were found unconscious in your bed. An ambulance was called and you were rushed in as the paramedics were concerned about your vital signs…’

I won’t go over the details too much, it was a bit technical and somewhat yucky. Long story short, I had internal bleeding and they stabilised me. Then they did various scans and tests while I was still out of it. It turned out that I had some interesting girly bits inside me and not much in the way of boy bits and I had started to ovulate and having periods, hence the internal bleeding. The doctor said that I was intersexed, which meant that I was part girl and part boy, but much more of a girl than boy, if you know what I mean. The girl bits were hidden inside me and what pathetic boy bits had were not functional. My little willy wasn’t much of a penis, more an outsized clitoris, which is a very girly bit. I didn’t have any testicles, but did have a uterus and ovaries which were slightly underdeveloped. I was told, that now that they had sorted out my plumbing, that I might and they stressed the word might, be able to get pregnant.

So, the reason why I had started to bleed inside was that I was having my first period. Yes me, supposedly a boy, having a period! But I wasn’t really a boy and had never been much of a boy. The doctors had suspected that I had Kleinfelter syndrome, but it turned out my alphabet spaghetti was not XXY but 46XX with bells on. This bit went over my head, but the long and the short of it was that I was for all intents and purposes, near enough a girl.

I had been operated on and an opening had been found at the base of my false penis where my labia, whatever that was, had evidently been fused. The surgeons had sorted everything out and now I had a vagina, although it was evidently rather short... It was all a bit too much information for me and I wondered what I would look like when the tubes were taken out and the bandages were taken off.

Talk about being grossed out!

‘Anyway,’ concluded the doctor, ‘you are progressing well and will soon be up and about again. The catheter will be removed tomorrow, as long as you show no signs that are contra-indicated. If you are well enough and there are no signs of infection, you will be allowed home tomorrow. The stitches will probably be taken out next week.’

He talked a bit about dilation and the fact that I would have to stick things into my newly exposed lady bits to stretch me. Evidently I needed to increase the size of my vaginal space…

Eventually I was left alone as I was sleepy and a bit confused about what I had been told. Auntie and Uncle kissed me goodbye and promised to be back the following morning.
Megan, being Megan shot into my room as soon as everyone had gone.

‘So Sammi, you are a real girl after all. I knew that you was, but no one listens to me. Anyway, Mum and Dad are outside and said that I only had one minute. That isn't enough and it certainly isn’t fair, but you do look a bit sleepy and washed out so I’ll see you tomorrow.’

She kissed me on the cheek and before I had a chance to say anything, she was gone.

It was quiet in the room after that and although I was dead tired, I couldn’t fall asleep. Too much information in a short space of time. I suppose that it didn’t really hit me until about an hour after everyone had gone. I had had something to eat and drink and was finally trying to settle down for the night.

I shut my eyes and was just starting to drift off when it finally hit me. I was a girl, a real life genuine girl and I would be one forever and no one could ever, ever, take it away from me.

I went to sleep happy and for the first time in a while, I had no nasty dreams.

Epilogue.

I did go home the following day and, being young, I soon healed from my operation, although I was a bit sore for about two weeks. It was weird not having that “thing” flopping around down below, it was small, but I had had it all my life and it felt for a short while as if something was missing!

Christmas was, for me, the best one that I had ever had. The rows between my mum and dad and the poisonous atmosphere Dad created wasn’t exactly conducive to festive revelries.

Auntie and Uncle were traditionalist. We had all the usual thing at Christmas; massive turkey meal and lots of sweets and treats during the day. A walk around the local park to help the dinner go down followed by crashing out in the lounge watching cheesy Christmas movies. Megan and I had a fit of the giggles when the old’s fell asleep and started snoring in unison. They both swore that they never snored, but Megan had taken a video of them on her brand new mobile phone and so they were guilty, as charged!

The day after Boxing Day, we had a meeting. Auntie, Uncle, Megan and I sat in the lounge and discussed the future. I was very apprehensive as I didn’t really know what my future was going to be. I had been made vague promises about staying with them, but nothing had been definite.

Megan was unusually quite and that was a bit off putting to say the least!

I was having kittens, wondering if they were just going to say that I couldn’t stay or that I was going to go to a kids home or farmed out to foster parents. I had grown to love this family and I knew that I would be heartbroken if I had to leave.

Auntie did the talking.

‘Well Sammi, have you liked being with us?’

‘Yes Auntie, its been lovely, you have all been great.’ I replied, not being able to stop the slightly shaky voice.

She smiled.

Megan had a poker face, I didn’t know that she could do that. My uncle looked serious and my fears and worries started to increase rapidly.

‘We have loved having you here. Now we have to talk about the future. What would you like to do?’

That threw me a bit. I didn’t know what to say. I had had so many disappointments in my life. If I said that I wanted to stay with them, would they just say that I couldn’t? I could not stand the rejection. They all looked at me; waiting me to say…something.

I shut my eyes and swallowed. I had to reply. I had to tell them what I felt, no matter what the consequences would be.

With my eyes still closed, as I didn’t want to see their faces, I answered her question.

‘C…can I stay with you. I love it here and, and love all of you. Please don’t make me go, I…I…I.’

I broke down in tears.

Suddenly, I was being hugged by three people.

Megan was talking but I couldn’t take what she was saying in. Then through everything I heard my Aunt saying in my ear.

‘Don’t cry honey. You can stay with us. We want to adopt you. You are part of our family and always will be.’

So, Auntie and Uncle adopted me and I was now officially Megan’s sister. My legal name was changed to Samantha Laura Jones, Laura being my mum’s first name and Jones, my new parents’ name. I did not want to keep my father’s name for obvious reasons and I was certain that Mum wouldn’t have minded that.

I went to my mums funeral with my new family; we all held hands and cried a little. It was a sad time and I was glad when it was over. I missed her a lot and always would do but I knew that she would be happy for me now that I had a new family who gave me love and support.

I did not go to my fathers funeral.

As for the future, well, I was going to Megan’s school as soon as the paperwork was sorted out. I would miss the first two weeks of term, but I was a bright kid and I knew that I would soon catch up. It was a girls school and they had a uniform. I was looking forward to wearing it despite Megan’s protestations that the colours were boring!

I was still under the psychiatrist and would be for some time, but the nasty dreams were getting less and less and I hoped one day to be free of them. In the mean time I tried to enjoy my life to the full and with Megan’s help, I would try to be as much of a pest to my new parents as she was.

Just joking!

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Please leave comments and let me know if you want this to continue. Oh, and if you can, please do the kudo-thingie...thanks! ~Sue