Jem...Chapter 205


“And that envelope is for you young lady.”
I look inside and there’s...ID’s...Social Insurance...Birth certificate...all with my name on them and other things like carry letter…
He knows.
He sips his tea. “You’re a nice young lady Hannah, we both know it takes all kinds and frankly I don’t care who you used to be. My world is full of fakers of all sorts and I’d wager worse than you.”
“But did all of this how?”
“After I looked into everyone on the staff at Northstar and Blackjack I looked at you. Hannah you’re young and smart, talented and I don’t waste those things.”
“But’s huge.”
He actually shrugged. “Not so much really, a few phone calls. You’re emancipated as soon as you sign the blue legals inside as well as the other papers in there. You’ll have to go to the Provincial works office down at town hall to get your Provincial ID and Medicare cards you need to sign and take a photo for one of those.”
I nod kind of like a bobblehead.
I’m crying and Summer’s coming over looking concerned and pissed.
“Why, why sir?”
“I told you, I need you Hannah. I’ve done no less hiring people and paying moving costs and the like. Well I’m off I have people to see today that I haven’t seen in a long time.”
He leaves to mingle and his manservant guy moves between us and him and Summer makes it to me as he’s leaving and she looks at me.
“Did he do anything creepy, you’re crying?”
(Sniffle.) “ knows Summer...he knows and didn’t care and he did this…” I pass her the envelope and she looks through it.
“Well that’s better of him than I’d ever think.”
“He said compared to rich folks and their stuff I’m no big deal...he said this was like paying moving expenses.”
She has this look like she’s thinking or remembering.
“He’s right, rich assholes are full of shit and yeah...he’s got the juice to do this easy.”
“He had us investigated Summer.”
She shrugs. “Par for the course actually, Karl’s a detailed villain.”
“I don’t know who that is?”
She grins. “Another soap villain. Never mind if we hurry we can get this sorted and be back the provincial office is the DMV here too and we can get things started.”
We leave telling the others and they’re more than cool with me getting legal.
Which is awesome really and Muzzie even gave me a hug.
“Go sweets, go git whatcha need and we’ll handle everything here.”
I hug his smelly carcass back and we take off to go wait in the happiest line I’ve ever been in.

*And Now...Hannah.

I know that Summer is so “over ‘ being here and the DMV is still the DMV to her but this is big it’s the whole photo ID thing and it’s mine.
Like Hannah Pierce mine.
Me...on paper, me being me and legally so.
I’m an easy customer since I’ve like got everything already and it’s a snap and waiting for my Provincial ID which is like a driver's license but just not an actual license.
My medicare will be mailed to me but in the meantime I’m given a temporary one with the number that came out from the government computer.
And I’m more than happy to be in the system.
Heck there’s that and the fact that I’m actually gainfully employed too.
It took awhile and Summer was on her phone most of the time texting or writing something since she really doesn’t have a whole lot of people that she texts to.
She actually smiles at me as I’m done and I’m still like really happy.
“Come on we’re going out and celebrating.”
“You need a purse and wallet at least and we should get a few things too while we’re at it.”
“Really? Okay cool.”
She takes us up to the mall's first thing and we stop off at the Royal Bank first and we take some money out and she even ends up making a call and she grins and nods to whoever she was talking to.
“What was that?”
“Clearing some things with Marshal Uppermost.”
“Like what?”
“Some things for you and some things for us under living expenses and moving expenses.”
“Really? What’d he say?”
Summer took out the phone and showed me the texts. And it’s all there with Adam eldest saying. “You have a good idea there Ms. Wilson, had you been contracted anywhere else I still would have had you move close to use the studio and new facilities. Consider it cleared just go and get the checkbook from the office and make a note on the cheque and attach the receipt to the copy side of the cheque.”
I look at her and she looks at me and she shrugs saying.
“It looks like Adam’s not going to be in the picture or something, it looks like we’re doing things our way as a band.”
“Summer, you’re not scared?”
“Of course I am. I don’t like setting down roots.”
“Because I’ve never had them, life’s only showed me that nothing good lasts.”
“And this is different?”
Summer blushes, like blushes really hard and says softly. “This is different, we’re different.”
I can’t help but to tip-toe and kiss her.
“Thank you for telling me, thank you for being open with me.”
She ducks her hand and mumbles and takes us to the car and then to work to get the cheque book and sign for it and then we head off to the mall.
Literally the first thing we look at is a bed, a whole new big bed that’s all ours and we go from there but not like overboard.
Neither of us want to push it with the big things but yeah a new bed, some house paint for the inside, A couple of big rugs and a few lamps and a good clock for downstairs and an alarm clock for us.
Then it’s clothes.
And not just like our usual stuff but like everyday things like pajamas and sexy slinky night wear and lots of underwear plus socks and shirts and long shirts and y’know it’s far more us going to The Bay and Wal-mart and Sears than going to Vicky’s or La Senza but we did go in there and we did by few things.
Yeah I know it’s a stereotype and all but some of the stuff is pretty and nice and some of it’s just cute and more than people think they have sales which makes things actually kinda affordable.
Payless was a happy moment for me.
Seriously I have a pair of mary janes that are years old and I got those second hand, my sneakers have holes in them and my winter boots...well they don’t exist anymore.

So I’m really, really happy because for the first time in a couple of years I have real and solid footwear.
So many people don’t get how sick to death you get of icy and cold feet.
Where you cry because your feet burn from the cold of just walking someplace and there’s snow and slush.
And even just a little gets in.
We get into the car and we take off and actually go to lunch first and we do that at The Pine Tree Cafe.
It used to be one of K&T’s gig spots and and it’s a cool place but definitely different during the daytime.
There’s actually someone on stage performing even now in the daytime and it’s three girls one with a small like jazz drum set setting off a soft beat and another is on a cello while a third girl is singing this sort of light soft jazz song I think is or should be called “Leaves of Autumn snow.” It’s like one of the lines from the chorus.
I could so step in with my violin and play along.
We have to wait for a table and we do that at the bar and Summer’s smiling and being very chill and cool with people. She orders us like this drink from the menu that’s recommended and I’ve never had a hot cup of sugar snap pea with mint and wasabi broth before.
It’s actually really, like really green but good.


I’m not good at the emotional stuff and I’m really not good at the whole emotional and commitment stuff. I’m damaged goods and I know that I’m damaged goods too.

But things with Hannah have been good.

I’d say better than good but I don’t really want to jinx it.

But it’s different.

I mean for one it’s like the huge difference between Rayne and Hannah.

I did like Rayne, even loved her but she had stuff going on with her that I could never click with. And a lot of my deal with her and some of the stuff that never like really truly meshed with us was the fact that before Rayne came out she had it all.

Great looking, smart, talented...and she had a good family life even if she had been in the closet when we met.

And I kinda resented that.

Resented that shelter she had compared to my life.

Yeah, I know, I know that makes me a shit person.

I have my own stuff and when Rayne’s dad died she checked out. I know that I should’ve gotten that it happens but I went for the whole leave first, hurt them before they hurt me.

And Rayne’s a totally different person than Hannah.

I mean Rayne is quiet, she’s pulled in and that whole goth thing, actually she’s like emo-goth...that sort of quiet most of the time kinda person.

Hannah...She’s so much more on my wavelength.

Homeless, hurt, really physically abused. Her old man whipped her bloody and scarred with the top end of his fishing pole like a switch. Because she was gay...because she was a tranny.

Given how long ago she told me it was. She was a fucking kid.

But she’s lived it, lived through it and she came out through pretty damned tough. Like probably tougher than I am given she’s as open as she is with me and with other people and how she likes to take care of us.

She steps up when it comes at her, at us.

Like with Adam.

Like with Old man Marshall.

Sigh...yeah when she and him were hashing things out and talking it was like I could see Hannah like more and more. There talking and getting things done and not just for her but for us and for me.

Everytime she looked over at me there was this smile there in her eyes too.

So yeah I was just kinda hit, just kinda taken in by just how she was making me feel.

And I said all those things that I said.

It was really embarrassing to have all those people in Tim Horton’s acting that way too.

But it was worth it getting back to the car.

Holding her hand it was like I could feel how she was feeling and that she was happy.

The thought of that chokes me up and it freaks me out.

Me…Me making someone happy.

The drive home was pretty good too and after we like unpacked what we had with us and went our separate ways like for the band Hannah and I retreated to the bedroom.

It was nice too she led me in as we ended up holding hands again and she slid out of her boots and led me over to the stereo and put on some tunes.

It’s definitely one of her mixes as *Lost Together* By Blue Rodeo plays and she gets me slow dancing with her to it.

Okay it’s actually not a bad tune.

But dancing with her was really nice too.

Hannah’s shorter and smaller than me and it’s not just the difference in age either. She’s likely always been thin and stuff which likely never helped her with things at home.

I guess in a way I kind of sort of feel protective of her?

Which is weird considering it’s usually Hannah that had been the one propping me up after my meltdowns.

We danced to that old school old timer rock that she loves and hold each other in our arms while we do that and share just soft sweet kisses.

I haven’t done that since Rayne.

Heck even Rayne and I didn’t do that too often. We were more upfront and into each other in this straddling one or another while we made out most of the night kind of thing.

This, this right now kind of actually feels good, just this and us and something slow.

Then that dancing slowly becomes us undressing each other and Hannah running a bath for the both of us.

I slip downstairs and while she’s doing that I make a big bowl cup of hot chocolate.

Well it’s hot chocolate and I pour myself a glass of irish cream and head back with both and Hannah has the bath ready and lots of bubbles and the bed looks all made and there’s some incense cones lit and the air smells like coconut or something and she’s sitting at the futon and coffee table and she’s rolling smokes and some joints.

She smiles at me as we take some of everything into the bathroom and we just undress the rest of the way and we slip in and get sort of washed before we comb our hair back and just sit and soak.

Soak and she’s leaning against me and I light the joint she rolled and we just chill. She has a toke or two before waving it off and sits there and soaks while drinking the hot chocolate.

It’s this kind of thing for like an hour us a little buzzed really mellowed and washing each other and like not just the erotic funsie stuff but washing each other’s backs and hard to get places.

Fuck...yeah her back.

Line after line and I can almost picture and hear the whiz-whine of the fibreglass as the bastard hit her and literally sliced her open.

What happened where she used to live where you couldn’t go to the cops or the hospital?

Well I can get what happened.

Fucking rednecks.

Sorry, sorry it’s not poor people it’s this sort of fucker that so often goes with that bullshit. Y’know the anti-gay and anti-trans and pro-christian and pro-big business and you know that they’re just sucking ass to the rich cunts that don’t give a flying fuck about them...I’m sorry because not all poor people or country people are rednecks and that even might not be a bad thing.

Conservative...and I’m thinking like Regina west and Lethbridge Canadian Bible belt fucking conservatives. I’m thinking all those shitheads in office and honestly like Adam, Like his family and like my family.

A level of fuck you I have mine unless I can use you that doesn’t even save kids from getting targeted.

Hannah’s dad was like that with how they’d reflect on his bigoted ass and his fucking masculinity. mom...she sold me out to a fucking pedophile she was engaged to so it’d seal the deal for him marrying her in order to get his hands on me.



That’s who I saw the other day.

That’s who set me off that bad.

That’s why I’m so fucking broken.

Dammit, dammit, dammit I didn’t want to think about this and now it’s all bubbling up and...she’s in town, she’s in town, the fucking bitch is in town….

I can’t breathe...I can’t stop shaking all of a sudden.

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